"How might I use one of my strengths right now?"
In one of my classes this semester, we have a unit on wellness, which includes a section on stress management.
Apparently, nursing is a stressful career. WHO KNEW???
Anyway, a line in one of the recommended articles jumped out at me because I thought, "Ohh, this could be a useful thought tool for financially stressful situations!"
Here's the quote (from this article):
Practice mindfulness: Thanks to the last two decades of research on mindfulness, there is now an impressive amount of research showing mindfulness approaches help with stress management, in many ways.
Strength tip: Try “the mindful pause” which is a simple, 2-step approach in which you pause before or during a stressor and attentively breathe for 15 seconds, followed by one question for yourself — how might I use one of my strengths right now? Take positive action with any character strength that pops up.
That question: "How might I use one of my strengths right now?" is what I really liked.
Why? Two reasons:
1. It's personalized
Since we all have different strengths, the way one person will handle a problem is not necessarily the way that you will handle it.
So, I like this question because it will give you such a personalized way to handle a challenge.
2. It puts the focus on what you CAN do
As I've typed here many times before, when I'm in a hard spot, I find it to be very helpful to always ask, "Well, what CAN I do?"
I can't always fix or change a situation entirely, but there usually is something I can do.
And the question, "How might I use one of my character strengths right now?" is most certainly one that puts you in the driver's seat, which is much nicer than feeling helpless. Feeling helpless is stressful!
What could this look like?
Examples always help me, so let's try a few.
Suppose something in your house breaks (an appliance, a light fixture, whatever), and you ask yourself, "How might I use one of my strengths right now?"
If your strength is repairing, you could save money by fixing the item yourself.
If your strength is finding deals by shopping used, you could snag a free/cheap replacement secondhand.
If your strength is side-hustling, you could come up with the funds to hire out a repair by doing an extra little side gig.
Suppose grocery prices are rising...
(This is not hypothetical. Ahahaha.)
We most certainly cannot control grocery prices, but we can use our strengths to minimize the impact on our budgets.
If your strengths are in the kitchen, you could learn how to make more things from scratch, or you could use your cooking skills to avoid food waste.
If you're good at growing food, you could garden.
If you're good at finding deals, you could shop loss-leaders, buy markdowns, and use grocery store apps.
If you're creative, you could come up with cheaper substitutions for ingredients that are especially expensive (egg substitutes are a very good idea right now!)
Suppose that you hit a divorce mid-life...
(Ok, this also is not hypothetical, at least for me.)
When I began my separation, there was a lot that I could not control; for instance, I could not make the divorce go faster than it did. And I could not stay in the marital home.
But I found it helpful to focus on what was in my sphere of control, so here's how I ended up using some of my particular strengths to navigate the challenge.
I'm good at finding used things, so I furnished my house with mostly secondhand items....furniture, silverware, plates, cups, lamps, rugs, and more.
I'm good at fixing things up, so I rescued a lot of shabby items and made them serviceable again.
I'm skilled at appreciating the good things around me, so I found lots of things to be thankful for, even while navigating a challenging divorce.
I'm good at tedious applications (lots of rebate application practice in my history!) and I also find writing to be enjoyable, so I wrote scholarship essays and waded through endless documentation so that I could get scholarships and afford my schooling.
Another thing: I have no idea what type of strength this is, but as I mentioned recently, when I ran out of money to pay attorney fees, I found several 0% credit card offers to get me through until my divorce settlement.
___________________
I think I have used this helpful question without really knowing it. But now that it's on my conscious radar, I definitely am going to pull it out when I am feeling stressed.
I bet that lots of you have used this question too, even if subconsciously, when facing a challenge. So:
Tell us about a time you used one of your strengths to navigate a challenging situation!
(And it's ok if it's not a specifically financial situation.)
Fortunately I have several skills that I have honed in my life. For one, I tend to be understanding of other people's needs and difficulties and as as result I can often be patient and deescalate in challenging situations (often - not always!). Other more practical skills are cooking, housekeeping, planning and prioritising. And I have an enquiring mind, which keeps me entertained and also means I look for and find useful information.
Hmmm, I find this question to be challenging. 🙂 Something that I thought of is that in REALLY challenging situations, when I'm feeling very down, it can be hard to even think of my own strengths, much less how to apply them. However, one thing that has consistently been a strength of mine is my sense of humor. It's pretty rare that I can't find something to joke about--to myself, of course, in sensitive situations--when things are difficult. Sometimes it's at my own expense, especially when I recognize my own tendency to drama.
@kristin @ going country, well said: I'm with you on this. Especially the last sentence "when I recognize my tendency to drama", yup that's me. I tend to always catastrophize, but I'm able to find my way out of it. Humour is a strong tool.
Being self-aware enough to recognize your own drama is key. 😉
I'm a person you want during an emergency: I keep my cool, I'm good at planning and logistics, and I can manage numerous plans and and their implications in my head simultaneously.
I'm also good at framing questions to help others make decisions. For example, some friends' trip to Libya was up in the air for political reasons (this was before the Arab Spring). The trip would leave from London - if it happened at all. My friends weren't sure they should go to London, given the uncertainty. I asked them how they'd feel if: one, they went to London and the trip didn't happen and two, they didn't go to London and the trip did happen? (They went to London.)
Another one is that like many in this Commentariat, I can squeeze every bit of usefulness out of food and a food budget.
@WilliamB, one of the best tools of life ever given to me was in a business admin 101 class I was taking in college while I was still in high school. Our teacher presented us with a "decision tree". It basically works just how you described your process for your friend's trip. You make three columns with the breakdown in the far left column and the next two columns are plus and minus. Every decision that you make has components. You list those components in that left column and then the pluses and minuses for taking that action. I still use that to this day when I have more complicated decisions to make. It helps to visualize the possible outcomes. Actually many governments/businesses have departments that try to predict both positive and negative outcomes of new laws, policies, etc.
I am not much of a multitasker at all, being much more linear, and I would love to have your talent for keeping everything in my head. I run my life on paper. LOL
@Allison, a lot of my life is in paper also! Usually spreadsheets.
Decision trees are great, aren't they? I can keep a simple one on my head but anything more than 3 factors gets written down. Writing down also helps eliminate irrelevant or obvious questions (for my parents, that was if they went to London and the trip did happen, or they stayed home and the trip didn't happen), so we can focus on the questions that matter.
@WilliamB, right now, though, I can't think of an immediate application of these skills.
I did combine two of them yesterday, when I sliced off a bit of my finger while chopping bits of veg for a use-it-up risotto yesterday. Presto: emergency response and anti-food waste right there!
@WilliamB, that literally made me lol, though sorry re: your injury!!!
The most stressful situations for me have occurred when I felt responsible, but the outcome is truly out of my control. I think nursing would fall into that category at times.
However, with flexibility, creativity, and a sense of humor, I think you can overcome most of life’s day to day struggles. Determination is also helpful. To paraphrase a bit of cowboy wisdom: when riding through hell, don’t get off the horse. Keep riding and moving forward. Otherwise you will stay where you are.
Lastly, I try to remember that life is ever changing. Most likely, my current problem is temporary. In the words of John Foster Dulles, “The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it's the same problem you had last year.”
@Bee, love the cowboy logic!
@Bee, "Temporary" = "This, too, shall pass." I always find this to be a very helpful reminder/perspective.
@Bee,
How do I deal with a problem that keeps coming up? I'm trying to not get caught up in my own pathetic, repeated response. How do I shut those hurtful feelings off and just stay on my horse and ride?
@Bee, a variation on the cowboy wisdom is Abraham Lincoln's famous line from the 1864 election: "Don't swap horses in the middle of the stream."
@Pistol, I’ve been there too. Sometimes you just keep trying different things until something works. Or sometimes you need to sit down and develop a strategy to overcome a problem.
I do think it takes practice to stay focused. I know that’s not very helpful. There is an old , but wonderful book by the psychologist David Burns called Feeling Good. There are many exercises to training the brain. These were helpful for my middle son. Also, I love the wisdom shared in the book Atomic Habits.
Wishing you the best…
One of my strengths is cooking, and when Covid was going on, I learned to cook the types of food we’d normally go out to eat (Mexican, Chinese, pizza). This has been helpful in the long run, and we still rarely eat out.
I was just thinking about how, when Covid was brewing, but things hadn’t shut down yet, I somehow knew exactly what to stock up on, and how to prepare. Now, I feel like we are headed into tough times, and I’m not sure how to get ready. The best I can do is tell myself that I’ll solve whatever problems occur.
A helpful question along the same lines (from an author whose name I can’t recall just now) is “what CAN I do that I WOULD do?”
Hmm tough one. I think I do this at work a lot. I'm a creative problem solver, so I often leverage that to put us in a better position. In my personal life, I am good at finding recipes that are appealingly and like to try cooking them. Historically I did this and rarely repeated the dish even if they were good as I lost track of them. About 4 years ago, 2 of my kids were diagnosed with celiac which meant eating shifted from sustenance and pleasure to being limited and even dangerous for them. I hurt for them and decided I would do what I could so they could enjoy meals fully. I found the gf/paleo food bloggers with the best recipes and tried all kinds of new things, researched good substitutes for familiar ingredients and created a growing online recipe box of new favorites. They're both living on their own now but regularly use the recipe box. One of them has added additional restrictions to dairy, corn and soy, so we've continued to adapt especially for holiday meals. When they are home they know their meals will be safe AND delicious.
When there's a crisis that needs research, I'm very good at finding information. Like Garcia on Criminal Minds, there is nothing I like more than digging through the internet to find out what we need to know. DH calls it my Google-fu skill. When DS#3 was born and (mis)diagnosed with carnitine uptake deficiency, we had a hunch that it wasn't right, and I did so much research that we were able to find a second opinion and get him off the medication that was making him worse. When DS#1 was in the hospital, when I wasn't there or dealing with household stuff, I was researching everything I could about his condition and the drugs they were giving him.
I am also not fazed by blood. Even when I was a kid and had some spectacular injuries, I was more fascinated by it than scared. As you can imagine, as a mom of four boys, this has come in handy at times.
@Karen A., LOL your stomach for blood and guts is very useful, I'm sure.
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, it definitely came in handy when doing wound care for DS#1! I think he got a little weary of me asking to inspect it during dressing changes, ha.
Right there with you on being unfazed by blood. It just flat-out does not elicit any sort of reaction on my end!
@Kristen, one of many women’s strengths. So good to be able to get the bandage in the right place!
@Kristen, that is NOT one of my strengths. I'm not good with blood, puke or anything of that ilk! That, among many other reasons, is why I could not work in medicine!
I like this idea. I also think about what I can do when a tough situation comes up. Sometimes it's nothing, but usually there is some action I can take. My super power is not panicking in an emergency. I spent ten years as a cardiac surgery nurse so I was conditioned to function in an emergency, to move from one thing to the next without panicking. When my husband died, my world fell apart. I was able to deal with it in the best way I could at the moment. I kept myself together for my kids. I dealt with all the paperwork etc. with the help of my lawyer and my brother-in-laws. It was quite a mess because he was pretty young and we didn't have everything sorted. It's a good super power to have.
@Jill A, I am sorry for your loss, and how early it was. It's not easy to keep it together under those circumstances. I hope you took time later to process.
@Jill A, I add my sympathy to WilliamB's on the loss of your husband. And I commend you on keeping your head through all that loss. I'm not sure I could have managed as well if I'd lost DH earlier and more abruptly.
@WilliamB, thank you. Yes, I was able to process as time went on.
@A. Marie, thank you. I know you've been through the wringer also with your husband's illness. Widowhood is not for wimps.
My strength is creativity. One very specific, and probably odd sounding, skill/joy is making decorations from construction paper. I have a specific bold simplified style to make things visually pop. It started when my son was little, and we didn’t have extra money to splurge on things like holiday decor, I bought a pack of generic colored construction paper and we created Jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, bats, monsters, etc. to hang around the house. He treasured these for years! In winter, we do the typical cut-out snowflakes, and create things like segmented dangling snowman to hang from things like curtain rods. Over the years, I’ve also made several party decorations including Minecraft characters, a Harry Potter wall you could walk-through, and pop-up cats.
Other creative things … making a good meal out of random odds and ends, figuring out ways to make allergy friendly foods, finding new uses for containers, gardening, and making kid related stuff out of old worn-out clothes (cat clothes and bedding for stuffed animals, Christmas drawstring pouches, utility belts are favs).
I really like this approach & I'm going to try it! I'm currently struggling with how to manage stress from current events & not use an unhelpful coping strategy (snacking) to deal with said stress. There are a lot of better ways to manage this: being productive like doing a household chore, journaling, meditating, going for a walk around the block, etc. I'm sure there are a variety of other situations I can use this in. I tend to get the most stressed when I feel that something is out of my control (see current events), so this is really helpful as a way to pivot my focus to what I can control.
Thanks for sharing!
@Hawaii Planner, I hear ya, including the food indulgences. Have you considered a hobby that uses your hands? Like people who are quitting smoking take up knitting because you can't smoke and knit at the same time.
I also find it helped to keep a list of quick things that make me feel better. My list includes a hot shower or bath, brushing my hair with a plastic-toothed brush (aka a quick scalp massage) and -hardest for me - going for a walk.
@Hawaii Planner, to paraphrase Sue Bender (from one of her books):
If you can do something about it, why worry?
If you can’t do something about it, why worry?
@WilliamB,
I really like the idea of having a list at the ready (and keeping your hands busy....I've wanted to get back into crochet for the longest time). Thank you!
I was hoping you'd come through with a post like this one this week, Kristen! Between tariffs and increasing AI threats to jobs, I needed to check in with my capabilities.
I've always used my sense of humor as a coping skill during hard times. I like to think the medical professionals enjoy my jokes, too, as we fail to numb me during procedures. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking as I want to be #1 best patient LOL. "A pleasure to have in class" becomes "a pleasure to have in the dentist chair".
Secondly, I have an inclination to be well-informed. That's shown up in my life as reading on personal finance while getting a job during a pandemic, or learning about my specific health issues, or just reading to entertain myself and picking up something useful incidentally. Reading and research are often free, especially with a library card!
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea, probably the best compliment my dentist ever paid me (and one of the best compliments I've ever gotten) was when he told me that in the daily "huddle" that he and his staff have each morning before patients begin to arrive, everybody goes "Yay!" when my name is mentioned!
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea,
This reminds me of a story....I knew a young man through mutual friends online who had a rare genetic, terminal illness with no cure that required numerous medical procedures, many hospitalizations, etc. One time, he was getting a lumbar tap, and the doctor had some classic rock music playing in the room.
All good, until Blue Oyster Cult's song "Don't Fear the Reaper" came on. Doctor and nurse froze in horror, but my friend laughed (he had a dark but great sense of humor)....he started naming all the classic rock songs that are not appropriate for doctors offices ("Highway to Hell", "Stairway to Heaven", for examples). Everyone had a good laugh. 🙂
@Liz B., Love this hahaha
I don't think I've ever asked myself that even unconsciously, but I have realized after the fact how I handled things by drawing on a strength.
I've mentioned this before, I think, but I can compartmentalize things so that I can remain cheerful or at least calm while my heart is hurting or I'm stressed. I will put feelings away until I can think about them and pray about the situation privately, or with friends, family, a pastor or the Stephen's Minister I used during DH's issues. An example is when I got the call that DH was taken to emergency with a blood glucose of almost 1200. I drove myself to the hospital and when I got there, answered questions, asked questions, held his hand, called our kids, watched for troubling changes while medical personnel were out of the room, and stayed very calm the whole time. Later, at home, I allowed myself to react. I also had my bosses remark on how I came in and calmly worked every day these past few years when things were going so badly with DH at home or in a facility. That's the way I'm wired.
My strengths for frugality were possibly somewhat wired into me, but also, I was raised that way, so I find it natural to not waste food, take care of things I use, look for second hand, see what else that I already have would work, and avoid the expensive when free or low-cost do just fine (unless quality is an issue; then I will pay more). Another strength I was trained to have is having a basic knowledge of tools and how to use them. My very handy dad had us at his elbow helping for a lot of repairs. When something needs fixing, I first consider if there is a way I can fix it before calling for help.
@JD, I certainly could have used your superpowers of compartmentalization from time to time during DH's long decline. And I could use your skills with tools now. DH used to say that I could deal with any emergency involving animals or vegetables, but that when it came to minerals, I wasn't the best.
One of my strengths is that I'm not rattled by the sight of blood--even my own! And like Karen A. I have good research skills.
When my mom was in challenging financial times with too many accounts and too many farm partnerships, my strength of organizing was how we got things under control and were able to make a plan to simplify. It felt endless and hopeless at times, so we’d just make new lists so we could see what had been finished, what remained, and what the next steps were.
My strengths: The resilience and sense of humor I inherited from my blessed mother, and the patience and willingness to make tough decisions that I wasn't born with but had to develop during the course of DH's Alzheimer's. And I'm having to put all of these to work in dealing with the evolving situation with my NDN. I've just called my lawyer's office to set up an appointment for her CF and me to bring NDN in to get the ball rolling on end-of-life paperwork for her. Not easy, but it has to be done, and sooner rather than later.
@A. Marie, Bless you for handling this responsibility.
@Chrissy, That's another of A. Marie's superpowers. Seeing a need and stepping up to fill it.
AGREED.
@A. Marie, Your Next Door Neighbor is blessed to have not one but two caring friends helping her. You and CF must be angels on earth!
@A. Marie,
While I wish you had never had the need to learn this information in the first place, I'm glad that you have it now to help your neighbor. Thanks for being so good to her - some people would have said, "Been there, done that; let someone else help her, I've done my part already."
@JD, @JDinNM, @Fru-gal Lisa, @Kristen, and @Chrissy: Thank you all for the kind words. I know full well that CF and I are doing the right thing, but it's good to have the Commentariat's votes of confidence.
And I must add that it's good to have CF working with me on Team NDN. At least there's another set of shoulders bearing the responsibility, as opposed to when I was doing it solo for DH. Plus which, making a new and valuable friend at my age is a great thing. We're no angels, either of us, but we're doing the best we can with what we have.
@A. Marie,
I may have said this before, but thank you and CF for being there for your NDN. You and CF are facing this head-on, and making sure things are in place for her. I so admire that.
@A. Marie, I'm glad you and CF are stepping up but what crosses my mind is finances. Without divulging too much figure it out info, child bleeding parents dry financially. COVID-19 saved them from foreclosure/eviction, giving me, their son, and a sibling time to get things under control. But the bleeding the parents dry child and her sister played a sob story and usurped their sibling from his financial POA duties. One of the parents died, other is in a nursing home. Which has not been paid since the non-grifting yet gullible sister died. So now son is working through guardianship. I assist him (which I don't mind but I know my late mother and her mother would haunt my sorry arse if I didn't) when he asks. The person stealing money will be identified and charged accordingly. I know money is coming out of the account - my aunt had me doing her tech support.
It was not a good feeling to tell my cousin and my uncle his mom/his sister was in five digit credit card debt due to the grifting child and her children.
So my one of my strength's is I am a powerful ally for those doing the right thing. Organization (though I do have piles of paper, eh the tiger) and what I call "mom" skills. There are days when I think you're well paid for making sure things don't slip between the cracks and/or problems don't get permanently resolved. And all from the comfort of my home - I've paid my dues.
I'm a problem solver (easier for others, not always for myself - I need to work on that). The youngest child (by far) in the family, I was/still am the one everyone else (parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, miscellaneous hangers-on, even teachers when I was in high school) turned to, whatever the problem or need. These days more usually clients, businesses, neighbors, friends, but still a dwindling number of family members. I saw something the other day that said "Sometimes all you need is a break from others needing you because you need you for a while." That does not apply to the dog who's sitting/sleeping on my lap as I type this....
I'm feeling fairly stressed right now but one of my strengths is thinking outside the box. I don't feel hemmed in by schedules and things I 'have' to do; ie, I am flexible at switching things around and not panicking if things go awry.
I am also not a perfectionist and don't care if things are amazing as long as they are done!
@Sophie in Denmark, Hah! The Word of the Year Generator told me "my" word for 2025 is ... FLEXIBILITY! Unlike you, I'm not sure I have it, but the Universe is telling me I need to acquire it. ;-}
And I agree with you. "Done" beats unattainable "perfect" every time.
@JDinNM, for sure! I am also very good at work-life balance and know when I need to rest. I say it's a strength because I know when to take a break and avoid burn-out (most of the time)! I am also very creative.
@Sophie in Denmark,
As Gretchen Rubin often reminds us, don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Speaking as a (reforming).perfectionist, that resonates with me.
Mindfulness was the word I chose as my theme this year. Just yesterday I was doing something that reminded me that I hadn't thought of it for several weeks.
While I am not a Hospice nurse per say, one of my strengths is being present with the dying. and their family members. I compartmentalize my own emotions and feelings until I can let go at a later time. I have been told more than once by Administrative Staff and other nurses that they were glad I was on duty when particular person's took their last breath. I am able to let the families be aware that it is a sacred privilege, not taken lightly but with reverence.
@Chrissy, Thank you … that is a wonderful gift and it is a sacred privilege.
I am “triggered” by words like “mindfulness”. Any form of modern day psycho babel mumbo jumbo has a total opposite effect on me creating a giant brain cringe body spasm. As I writhe and contort cloaked within I use my bestest personal skill sets and ignore every mind numbing nit picking tear everything down to the sinew and bones of a matter phraseology and simply act, react, or don’t. When humans drive me nuts with their extensive verbalization of mundane thought processes I Invisibalize myself and mentally run run run so far away slipping into any handy black hole soothing my word torn self. I. Am. Just. Fine.
Haha, maybe go with "meta-cognition" instead...a "thinking about thinking".
@Tiana, I see you also have vivid writing skills!
@Kristen, find another word besides meta.. at least for me it doesn't evoke anything positive, only bowing for money.
@Tiana, perhaps we need to create a safe space to empower you to unpack this issue.
Gaaaaah, I HATE that kind of psychobabble! Remember when “issue” meant a magazine, or perhaps something that came forth?
Ohhh I love this prompt!
I'm very good at research and overall enjoy it, so this has saved me tons of money and gotten me out of some difficult situations and/or avoided them. Although sometimes the urge to research and be frugal is too much and I annoy myself haha.
Overall, I am a positive person and have broken the habit of stress eating, so now I will do something physically positive (go for a walk, lift weights, flail dance in my living room, take 5 minutes to mindfully breathe) as long as it's not an immediate life or death situation. I've found that some physical activity calms my mind so I can more rationally deal with whatever is at hand.
This may sound silly, but one one of my strengths is knowing my support team (aside from God) and the strengths they bring to our friendship. One friend is a fixer, one is a cheerleader, one gives me the honest truth even if it hurts. It's taken me a long time to know it's okay to ask for help or feedback.
And lastly, I'm fairly simple and easy to please. I moved into a new home and kept my clothes in moving tubs for months until I found an affordable option I liked. I can cook most things, and save on takeout for the most part.
I once attended as seminar titled "Who Takes Care of the Caretakers?" Apparently it was aimed at nurses. They were surprised at how many SAHMs attended.
@Linda Sand, shows what they know. We're the organizers all men?
@Linda Sand,
That makes so much sense to me. I'm not a SAHM, but several of my friends were or are, and they took care of everyone and everything. It must just be exhausting! (And for us working parents, too - trying to juggle everything while working is not easy, either! I'm very grateful my DH works from home, and has a very flexible schedule.)
Great subject, and so interesting to read everyone's responses.
I am great in an emergency: grounded, calm, and I know just what to do (I have no idea where this particular strength came from, but I am thankful for it). Many moons ago when I was a teenager, I was with my friend when she hit and slightly dented a parked car in a parking garage. She started freaking out. I got her calmed down, and then we found some paper and a pen and left the person a note under the windshield with my friend's contact info - this is what you did back then. Everything worked out fine.
I can make a good meal out of random scraps from pantry and fridge. This particular strength has been used many times to feed me/others.
And when I get freaked out, which does not happen very often, I do this thought process called "what's the worst thing that can happen?" Two years ago, at age 55, I left my husband due to a very bad home situation and untreated mental health issues on his part. I had a part time job and no rental history, and I needed to find a place to live, get divorced, and find a way to support myself. So, what was the worst thing that could happen if I couldn't find an apartment? Well, I could stay with a friend or relative. As it turned out, I was able to temporarily stay in a neighbor's condo while she was out of the country for three months. Then, against many odds, I found someone who would rent an apartment to me. So, what's the worst thing that could happen if I couldn't support myself? Well, I could temporarily use government assistance if needed, live off savings, borrow money from my dad, or go into debt. While things were challenging for a while with life and divorce expenses, I figured it out. Due to the divorce and my low income, I got kicked off my health insurance, and was on Medicaid for several months. I now have three part time jobs, and recently got off of Medicaid. While I still need to pull some money from savings each month, at a certain point not too far into the future, I should be able to support myself. By figuring out possible reasonable plans of action, I was able to calm myself down and move forward. I'm so thankful for my new life.
@Tina S., congratulations! You must feel very proud of yourself.
@Tina S.,
Wow! Congratulations on starting a whole new life, and figuring out how to move forward!
@Tina S., you resisted, survived, and are thriving. Resiliency is nothing to sneeze at.
I am pretty fearless, except when it comes to flying. I have no problem confronting bullies, or speaking up to bosses or others higher on the food chain. In fact, I sort of relish it. And if it involves protecting someone who is vulnerable, so much the better.
I have no problem saying no. Sometimes no thank you, but other times just no. I don't owe anyone an explanation if I don't want to do something.
I am good with paperwork. So that in combination with being pretty fearless makes it easy for me to fight insurance companies.
@Lindsey, I've said in the past how much I admire your superpower of fighting insurance companies, and I'll say it again. Go get 'em!
And, as always, I send my best regards to you, the husband, and the Pound Hounds.
Very good idea! I love to sew and helped my husband thru a challenging passage when we could not afford an interview suit. I prayed hard before cutting up a length of beautiful wool tweed to make him a suit. It was not the classic navy blue, but in his field (physics) there is only a minimal dress code. He looked wonderful in it (no prejudice here) and traveled to a series of difficult interviews. He won the job of his dreams, and I advanced a notch or two in sewing savvy. That project gave me new confidence To tackle harder projects, and moved my skills from “competent home sewing” to “professional quality” work.
@Kristina,
Oh, my word, you are my hero! You sewed a man's suit! My m-i-l was a very good seamstress, but she never tackled men's clothing, although she made women's suits of jackets and skirts. I can't imagine how it felt for you cutting into that tweed fabric. I remember when I was in 7th grade home-ec, our teacher told us about a friend who made a suit for herself and made it twice, once in cheap fabric, then in the lovely expensive fabric she had bought for it - it was $100 a yard in 1968! And now I know someone else with that kind of courage, and it even helped your husband. What a lovely story.
When my young adult nephew unexpectedly died in the middle of the night, I jumped in my car and drove to my sister’s house. I sat with her, praying and hugging her. I let her rage and cry and whatever she needed. My baby sister ordered a ton of Italian food and the utensils and paper products and delivered them to the house. She knew lots of people would be coming by to offer condolences including the daughters and grandchildren of my sister who lost her son. We did dishes and cleaned the bathrooms. We made sure our sister ate a little something and drank plenty of water for about a week. My super power is prayer and comfort. My baby sister displayed her super power of organization and planning. God gives us all gifts and I believe the vast majority of this commentariat is uniquely blessed and very aware of each of ours.
My superpower is staying calm in the face of panic. The more other people lose it, the stronger and calmer I get. I pay for it later, but I can do anything if someone needs me. Apparently I also give a stellar clinical case history, despite having no medical training whatsoever…
Excellent post (as usual)! I use my strengths every day in the (high school reading) classroom, particularly my “patience” strength. I also am relatively quiet and soft-spoken, and that is a strength because yelling at students can escalate things. It also shows a lack of control and respect for others, and that is not something we want to showcase in the classroom. I take a deep breath too when I see something (non-life threatening) happening, and sometimes the situation (talking, looking at phone, etc.) will resolve before I’m done breathing, lol, and I do t need to say anything at all. I don’t take myself very seriously, and many things can be diffused or resolved with a little humor. Ex.: A student was asking to use the restroom again on Friday, and he blurted it out when someone was answering, and it sounded like he was asking for a macaroon. So I asked him why he wanted a macaroon. He said, “No. the bathroom.” And I said, “You want to take macaroons to the bathroom?” We all laughed a little, and he got a quick trip to the restroom.
I love this idea!
The challenging situation I'm still working on is my daughter's disabilities. She was two years old when we started to notice that something wasn't normal. Seven years later we continue to rack up the diagnoses--ADHD, autism, epilepsy. It is challenging because not only does she need special care and a lot of therapies and other medical interventions, but we are preparing for the reality that she might never live independently. Like your examples, much about this situation is out of our control; her brain's unique chemistry, available treatments, supports the school can offer.
So we have leaned into our strengths. My husband is more nurturing and a better day to day caretaker, so he is the one who makes sure she takes her medicine and usually the one who carries her to therapy. He plays video games with her and reads to her before bed. I am the numbers cruncher, so I have made sure we had uninterrupted health insurance (no easy task the last few years), coordinate appointments, read all the books, ask the tough questions to our practitioners, network with friends and others who have experienced the same challenges, and I'm considering different long term financial plans that will take into account taking care of her for her lifetime.
Tag-teaming and leaning in to our different strengths has made a very difficult situation emotionally (and financially) bearable.
I loooooooove this! I am currently about to start rereading the book Strengths Based Leadership. I also love the Gallup Clifton Strengths Finder. I got to take the assessment a few years ago and it has been so helpful in knowing myself and understanding more about how I operate and why. (Long story, but) I am working with my Spanish 3 students to identify and build on their strengths. "Self improvement" is great, but if we work in a way that capitalizes on our strengths, we can so much more easily get into flow and progress in ways that are fulfilling. Thank you for sharing!
@Heather Mar,
Oh, and my own strengths:
-I'm generally incredibly patient, especially with teenagers.
-I'm good at accepting people for who they are and where they are in life.
-My top strengths from the assessment were Maximizer, Learner, and Relator. I want to make things better, always be learning, and like to form fewer, authentic relationships.
I think all of these contribute to my success and fulfillment teaching high school! Except the relator one is kinda hard, since there are SO MANY people in a high school. It can be a stretch for me because I do better in smaller groups.