In one of my classes this semester, we have a unit on wellness, which includes a section on stress management.
Apparently, nursing is a stressful career. WHO KNEW???
Anyway, a line in one of the recommended articles jumped out at me because I thought, “Ohh, this could be a useful thought tool for financially stressful situations!”
Here’s the quote (from this article):
Practice mindfulness: Thanks to the last two decades of research on mindfulness, there is now an impressive amount of research showing mindfulness approaches help with stress management, in many ways.
Strength tip: Try “the mindful pause” which is a simple, 2-step approach in which you pause before or during a stressor and attentively breathe for 15 seconds, followed by one question for yourself — how might I use one of my strengths right now? Take positive action with any character strength that pops up.
That question: “How might I use one of my strengths right now?” is what I really liked.
Why? Two reasons:
1. It’s personalized
Since we all have different strengths, the way one person will handle a problem is not necessarily the way that you will handle it.
So, I like this question because it will give you such a personalized way to handle a challenge.
2. It puts the focus on what you CAN do
As I’ve typed here many times before, when I’m in a hard spot, I find it to be very helpful to always ask, “Well, what CAN I do?”
I can’t always fix or change a situation entirely, but there usually is something I can do.
And the question, “How might I use one of my character strengths right now?” is most certainly one that puts you in the driver’s seat, which is much nicer than feeling helpless. Feeling helpless is stressful!
What could this look like?
Examples always help me, so let’s try a few.
Suppose something in your house breaks (an appliance, a light fixture, whatever), and you ask yourself, “How might I use one of my strengths right now?”
If your strength is repairing, you could save money by fixing the item yourself.
If your strength is finding deals by shopping used, you could snag a free/cheap replacement secondhand.
If your strength is side-hustling, you could come up with the funds to hire out a repair by doing an extra little side gig.
Suppose grocery prices are rising…
(This is not hypothetical. Ahahaha.)
We most certainly cannot control grocery prices, but we can use our strengths to minimize the impact on our budgets.
If your strengths are in the kitchen, you could learn how to make more things from scratch, or you could use your cooking skills to avoid food waste.
If you’re good at growing food, you could garden.
If you’re good at finding deals, you could shop loss-leaders, buy markdowns, and use grocery store apps.
If you’re creative, you could come up with cheaper substitutions for ingredients that are especially expensive (egg substitutes are a very good idea right now!)
Suppose that you hit a divorce mid-life…
(Ok, this also is not hypothetical, at least for me.)
When I began my separation, there was a lot that I could not control; for instance, I could not make the divorce go faster than it did. And I could not stay in the marital home.
But I found it helpful to focus on what was in my sphere of control, so here’s how I ended up using some of my particular strengths to navigate the challenge.
I’m good at finding used things, so I furnished my house with mostly secondhand items….furniture, silverware, plates, cups, lamps, rugs, and more.

Facebook Marketplace knife block, filled largely with knives from the abandoned house
I’m good at fixing things up, so I rescued a lot of shabby items and made them serviceable again.
I’m skilled at appreciating the good things around me, so I found lots of things to be thankful for, even while navigating a challenging divorce.
I’m good at tedious applications (lots of rebate application practice in my history!) and I also find writing to be enjoyable, so I wrote scholarship essays and waded through endless documentation so that I could get scholarships and afford my schooling.
Another thing: I have no idea what type of strength this is, but as I mentioned recently, when I ran out of money to pay attorney fees, I found several 0% credit card offers to get me through until my divorce settlement.
___________________
I think I have used this helpful question without really knowing it. But now that it’s on my conscious radar, I definitely am going to pull it out when I am feeling stressed.
I bet that lots of you have used this question too, even if subconsciously, when facing a challenge. So:
Tell us about a time you used one of your strengths to navigate a challenging situation!
(And it’s ok if it’s not a specifically financial situation.)
Amanda in VA
Tuesday 4th of February 2025
I love this idea!
The challenging situation I'm still working on is my daughter's disabilities. She was two years old when we started to notice that something wasn't normal. Seven years later we continue to rack up the diagnoses--ADHD, autism, epilepsy. It is challenging because not only does she need special care and a lot of therapies and other medical interventions, but we are preparing for the reality that she might never live independently. Like your examples, much about this situation is out of our control; her brain's unique chemistry, available treatments, supports the school can offer.
So we have leaned into our strengths. My husband is more nurturing and a better day to day caretaker, so he is the one who makes sure she takes her medicine and usually the one who carries her to therapy. He plays video games with her and reads to her before bed. I am the numbers cruncher, so I have made sure we had uninterrupted health insurance (no easy task the last few years), coordinate appointments, read all the books, ask the tough questions to our practitioners, network with friends and others who have experienced the same challenges, and I'm considering different long term financial plans that will take into account taking care of her for her lifetime.
Tag-teaming and leaning in to our different strengths has made a very difficult situation emotionally (and financially) bearable.
Susan_SFl
Monday 3rd of February 2025
Excellent post (as usual)! I use my strengths every day in the (high school reading) classroom, particularly my โpatienceโ strength. I also am relatively quiet and soft-spoken, and that is a strength because yelling at students can escalate things. It also shows a lack of control and respect for others, and that is not something we want to showcase in the classroom. I take a deep breath too when I see something (non-life threatening) happening, and sometimes the situation (talking, looking at phone, etc.) will resolve before Iโm done breathing, lol, and I do t need to say anything at all. I donโt take myself very seriously, and many things can be diffused or resolved with a little humor. Ex.: A student was asking to use the restroom again on Friday, and he blurted it out when someone was answering, and it sounded like he was asking for a macaroon. So I asked him why he wanted a macaroon. He said, โNo. the bathroom.โ And I said, โYou want to take macaroons to the bathroom?โ We all laughed a little, and he got a quick trip to the restroom.
Jules the First
Monday 3rd of February 2025
My superpower is staying calm in the face of panic. The more other people lose it, the stronger and calmer I get. I pay for it later, but I can do anything if someone needs me. Apparently I also give a stellar clinical case history, despite having no medical training whatsoeverโฆ
Vickymac
Monday 3rd of February 2025
When my young adult nephew unexpectedly died in the middle of the night, I jumped in my car and drove to my sisterโs house. I sat with her, praying and hugging her. I let her rage and cry and whatever she needed. My baby sister ordered a ton of Italian food and the utensils and paper products and delivered them to the house. She knew lots of people would be coming by to offer condolences including the daughters and grandchildren of my sister who lost her son. We did dishes and cleaned the bathrooms. We made sure our sister ate a little something and drank plenty of water for about a week. My super power is prayer and comfort. My baby sister displayed her super power of organization and planning. God gives us all gifts and I believe the vast majority of this commentariat is uniquely blessed and very aware of each of ours.
Kristina
Monday 3rd of February 2025
Very good idea! I love to sew and helped my husband thru a challenging passage when we could not afford an interview suit. I prayed hard before cutting up a length of beautiful wool tweed to make him a suit. It was not the classic navy blue, but in his field (physics) there is only a minimal dress code. He looked wonderful in it (no prejudice here) and traveled to a series of difficult interviews. He won the job of his dreams, and I advanced a notch or two in sewing savvy. That project gave me new confidence To tackle harder projects, and moved my skills from โcompetent home sewingโ to โprofessional qualityโ work.
JD
Monday 3rd of February 2025
@Kristina,
Oh, my word, you are my hero! You sewed a man's suit! My m-i-l was a very good seamstress, but she never tackled men's clothing, although she made women's suits of jackets and skirts. I can't imagine how it felt for you cutting into that tweed fabric. I remember when I was in 7th grade home-ec, our teacher told us about a friend who made a suit for herself and made it twice, once in cheap fabric, then in the lovely expensive fabric she had bought for it - it was $100 a yard in 1968! And now I know someone else with that kind of courage, and it even helped your husband. What a lovely story.