How did your family of origin affect your financial habits?
A reader wrote to me with the following question, and I'd like to throw it out there for you all to answer!
You've talked about various things that influence how a person spends or saves and I wonder. Have you ever discussed the issue of how we were raised, how we saw our parents spend or save, influenced us as we grew up and as adults?
I would be very interested from your perspective of your parents and also to hear how your children view spending, etc.
Also, from you knowledge, does coming from a very financially challenged family inspire saving...or spending. Any thoughts on that?
I'd say that my financial habits are fairly similar to those of my parents, except that I am probably slightly more obsessed with being frugal than they are. Not that my parents are profligate spenders by any stretch of the imagination! I'm just more "into" being frugal than most people are.
I mean, I've been writing about frugality for ten years. It's obviously kind of a thing for me. 😉
My own children aren't adults yet, so it's a little hard to tell exactly what their financial habits will be.
Still, it's easy to see that some of my children are natural-born savers, and others are a little more spendy.
However, even the spendiest of my children does not spend everything they earn, and all of my kids have an eye to saving for college and for a car of their own one day.
Lisey, who is 17, has even started her own retirement account through her employer, all of her own accord!
I'm very encouraged to see that when my kids do spend their own money, they're motivated to look for deals, use coupons, shop second-hand, and so on. They're being smart shoppers, which makes this frugal mama's heart happy.
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It's not as much origin as it is time period for me. My parents were born in 1929, so kids of the Great Depression. They learned to live with little because they had to. But they also tend to hold on to stuff and value stuff too much "just in case" you need it one day. So clutter and semi-hoarding is a thing.
Overall it's a blessing, they taught me well!
Ditto- Mom was born in 27 and Dad 5 years before. I'm the oldest of 6! My folks were generous though and we really never did without. My dad always had a job and Mom never worked until the last 2 kids born (67 and 68) were tweens and then it was just parttime. No matter what they tithed to our church and a goal was for us all to go to college and graduate. We did. The folks only moved once that I remember- in 1956 and lived in that house until the late 90s after Dad died. We just had 1 phone, 1 TV, and 1 bathroom until after I moved out. It's always a different story for the younger kids LOL. Yes, Mom had problems throwing things away- I don't.
I think maybe Nan and I grew up in the same household. 😉 My parents were born in '27 and '30 so those Depression era values were an ingrained part of life. Dad worked as a tool and dye maker and usually had 1 or 2 other side jobs as well to make ends meet; mom was a homemaker till I (the youngest of 4--and I didn't have it any easier than my siblings even though I was the youngest!) was in elementary school, when she started working first in a hospital as the "TV lady" (you had to pay for TV services in the hospital--she took a cart around and the patients would give her money for television access each day) and then in the school cafeteria. We kids never thought they had saved much--when my dad's health started to deteriorate and we had to help with financial matters, we found out we were (thankfully!) wrong and that they had a nice nest egg built up. Like Nan, we had 1 bathroom, although my parents later upgraded to 2 or 3 televisions and 2 phones. I am the second-most frugal of the offspring--I am also the one who is least concerned about acquiring "stuff"--our house is a modest ranch home built in 1960 (we have a bath plus a half bath!)--my siblings seem to be more into upgrading their homes/lives than I am. I think frugality is a nature/nurture thing plus a little bit of innate personality.
As a side note--reading everyone's stories was fascinating!
I am 100% the financial personality I am today because of my dad and his intense focus on finances. He has always been frugal (though "cheap" may have been the more derogatory term we teased him with when I was growing up), always searching for the best deals, and very interested in retirement saving, investing, etc. He still sends me links to articles about financial matters.
I'm not as interested in all of it as he is, and I choose not to spend a lot of my time and energy on some of the things he's into (exhaustively researching the best toaster before buying, for instance), but his knowledge and perspective couldn't help but rub off on me at least a little. And on my two siblings. None of us are profligate spenders.
My family never lacked for money when I was growing up, so I can't speak to that personally. I can say, however, that my dad DID grow up poor, getting charity food boxes from the church and scrubbing toilets at his Catholic high school to pay the tuition. And now he's quite wealthy. Some of that was luck and being in the right place at the right time career-wise, but most of it, I think, was not wanting to ever be that financially unstable again.
Oh Kristin, your children are beautiful and growing up fast! I can see you have the same issue I do here
Suddenly, I am the shortest one in the family again!
My pediatrician told me to be very nice to them all because they are going to be bigger than me.
I'm originally from Vietnam and grew up in a low income family.
I learned a lot of geriatrics and habits from my parents maybe even without realizing it. I saw how difficult it was for them to make even a quarter and appreciate every coin that I have nowadays.
Hehe I came to read your comment because I knew we have similar stories.
Being Chinese and growing up in a poor household was sobering financially. I remember being 10 and worrying about money for my parents. Then I was 12 and I told myself I will never ever want to live in fear everyday. Saving 50% of my tiny cheap paycheck that first 2 years out of college was natural.
I actually didn't know we were in the lower income bracket when I was young. My mom always knew how to stretch a dollar, and she had an eye for bargains, so we always had good food, nice clothes, which were hand-me-downs from a friend, toys from garage sales, etc. My mom always looked like someone out of a magazine, and our house was small, but it looked like a decorator did the interior. My parents didn't talk about finances much; we just knew they never spent more than they earned, and nothing was every purchased at "retail". I have picked up on my mom's keen eye, but more out of choice than necessity; I just can't stand to pay full price for anything.
My father was born in the depression in Europe. His city was liberated from the Nazis at age 5, came to the US at 13. He puts Jacob from Early Retirement Extreme to shame with his frugal habits.
I have the tools to be very frugal, and we were able to pay off DH’s undergrad debt while living in an expensive city in grad student stipends. My sister and I have both chosen highly lucrative professions.
We’re also spending a lot of time fighting fascism these days.
My dad’s parents were immigrants from Belgium (having survived the Nazi occupation and wanting better job opportunities they came to America). They worked their butts off and did quite well for themselves ... but didn’t plan for the future, so when my grandfather died quite young my grandmother had nothing. As a consequence my dad was religious about planning for my mom’s future, and I have insisted on life insurance since our first child was born and we have also been very focused on having enough in retirement. My moms side went through the Great Depression so she’s incredibly thrifty ... to the point where she just recently went shopping at a department store for new clothes rather than a thrift store (she still goes to the thrift store but she wanted some really nice things) even though they haven’t needed to save on clothes for decades now. I’m definitely more spendy than my mom but many of her habits are ingrained and I am also a joyful thrift store shopper (except for jeans, underwear, and shoes ... I don’t mess around with those items haha). My husband’s side ... multiple bankruptcies left him with a very strong fear of all debt, which has been very handy: we’ve never carried credit card debt and all but two cars we’ve owned have been paid for in cash (we share one and the last one died going up the very steep hill on which we live and I was done trying to repair it, so we got an almost new one for cheap because it has no trunk but we needed to install a hitch anyway because I do fairs for my business and needed to haul a trailer so it all worked out). We do have student loans but that gamble worked out for us and we have 1/3 paid down and are on track for paying the rest down over the next 3-4 years. My own kids have discussed with me the best career path given the rise of automation and the changing job landscape and have settled on (so far anyway) engineer and teacher. One is very cautious about spending, the other likes to spend it all ... so we’ll see how that turns out. But yeah, we were both definitely influenced by our parents.
It’s definitely true that personality also plays a role. My sister and I were both raised by our very frugal mom. While I am not as frugal as my mom, it is definitely harder for me to part with a dollar than my sister. I would say my sister isn’t at all frugal and this was always the case, even when we were children. Fortunately she has a very high paying job which allows her to be extravagant while still saving.
At some point in our lives, I believe we all make the decision (consciously or not) to embrace or replace our parents’ financial practices and attitudes. My Mom and Dad were regular middle class folks and had no extra money around to spend or invest. My Dad worked as a machine operator on the railroad and my Mom only went to work after both my brother and I went to school. Even then, it was only part time and in the school system so that she could be home when we were. They never talked finances that I can recall, but their values were evident in the way our family lived. After my parents got married, they bought a two family house so that the upstairs apartment would pay the mortgage. My Mom often sewed her own clothes and mine (she didn’t learn how to sew until my brother was a bit older), my Dad fixed everything that needed fixing himself – the house, the car, the appliances – whenever he could, which was most of the time. They never went on vacations and my Dad bought only one new car for himself in his entire life. But they scraped together the money to pay for Catholic school for both my brother and I - both elementary and high school. My brother paid for college himself. By the time I entered college ten years later, my parents were able to cover my tuition at a local community college. They never complained about not having enough money, even when my Dad was laid off for lack of work during some winters. They just carried on and did their best. I never felt that we were struggling but, even as a kid, I could see that the way they ran our household was critical to their ability to pay the bills and keep us all clothed and fed. Aside from the mortgage, they didn’t spend what they hadn’t already earned. And, it was obvious that what was most important to them were family and friends.
My parents lived a simple life, but they built the foundation that allowed me to dream big, knowing that, to a great extent, my life was under my control and I would get out of it what I put into it. I married a great guy who valued the same things as I did and who shared the same financial priorities. We built our own home, traveled extensively, raised two terrific kids and retired early. And yes, for my part, much of that success was due to my parents’ influence.
Love the family photos, Kristen! Time flies, doesn’t it?
As a child (born in the late 1950s) I did not realize that we didn't have a lot of money. We always had enough for the basics. I think that by the time I was a teenager I was drawn to bargain shopping (there was a famous incident in our family of buying bags of irregular jelly beans that we still laugh about decades later). Most pushing of brand name/designer items happened after high school for me and I was rarely sucked into the hype. About twenty years ago I found true frugality (starting with The Tightwad Gazette and Your Money or your Life, followed by The Millionaire Next Door).
My 22 year old child has been warming to frugality now that she is living on her own. She was able to attend college with free tuition, a small scholarship, and a part-time/full-time job so did not practice money management during those years. I always tell people that their children will have a foundation to fall back on if they live with frugality, healthy living, etc. even if they do not embrace it initially. I am just beginning to see that with our daughter now.
I think parents have a lot of influence on how their kids handle money but it's not a guarantee that they'll do well with it. We have to be proactive in teaching them just like we need to be with anything we want them to learn.
My husband grew up in a family with a comfortable income living in the midwest & never had to worry about money. He had his own car at 16 & his dad was the only income earner.
I grew up in Appalachia. The house we lived in when I was born had no indoor plumbing. We received government welfare checks all of my growing up years because my parents were not married but lived together(their second marriage..they did marry when I was around 7). My parents were hard workers, my dad did have a job but he was 60 when I was born so retired when I was 7. Long long story there but he was a young man during the Depression so even though I was a child during the 70's I was raised by Depression era parents. They grew a huge garden, they never had any debt & constantly droned on about never charging anything...we did without a lot.
So I think definitely I am still at 52, very tight with my money. I hear my dad's voice in my head when I spend on something frivolous. I wanted the security of having no debt(we paid off our mortgage by the time I was 33).
I'm an empty-nester with a married son so I can see how much he followed our money habits. He & his wife both work & earn a good income. They have one baby, started their retirement as teenagers & are paying down their debt. No credit card debt or school loans...only a mortgage & vehicles. They're actually in the process of selling their first home to buy or build (they haven't decided yet which). And they're only 25.
I do think my husband & I passed on to our son how to let your money work for you. Even as preschooler we were teaching him about how our money is time. By the time he was in high school we were having him balance our family budget. So I think it has to do more with how much we pass on intentionally.
I definitely think family of origin can make a difference in behavior, but the difference can also be that the child/ren decide to do the opposite. My husband and I both grew up with fathers who spent money *very* irresponsibly. In my husband's case, his mom was very frugal and found ways to ameliorate the situation, though it was very stressful. In my case, my father's attitude towards money was detrimental on a daily basis. My parents divorced when I was in my teens and I was able to see my mom take control of her finances and income; she was candid about our financial situation, especially as I was preparing to go to college, and her example was really important. With a shared history of financial precarity, though, my husband and I have talked *a lot* about how we do not want to repeat those same mistakes. We save aggressively and we've controlled our expenses in a lot of important ways--we only have one car (a choice that my father-in-law cannot get over), we live in an area with a low cost of living, we didn't max out on the house we bought, and other smaller choices that also make a difference. We both have a lot of privileges, including our education, professions, income, race, access to credit (if needed), and network of family and friends who have helped us logistically at various points--not everyone has those assets, though, and so the effect of family of origin can be complicated.
I'm an opposite response person too! My parents were both "spend every penny we have, plus some" kinda people and I figured out early on that I did not want that lifestyle. I'm in my 30s now and I've always been great at saving and being frugal. Unfortunately, my parents and all my siblings still don't quite have it figured out, but I have high hopes they'll figure it out!
Good luck to all of your siblings! Managing money is hard, whatever one's situation is.
One of my siblings is nearly 50 and definitely has our dad's approach to non-money management. Unfortunately, my niece and nephew seem to have absorbed those same approaches and I worry for them. My own children are only 2 and 4, so my husband and I have some time to think about how we transmit these messages.
I am in my late 50's so my parents were from the era when there were no credit cards, so there was no such thing as credit card debit. My mom talks about how back then, when you wanted something, you simply had to save for it - from a coffee pot, to a new coat, to a house. In the 1960s they did have specific charge accounts for individual department stores and eventually got credit cards, which they paid in full each month. My parents were very frugal, sales for everything, coupons galore, kept the heat very low, etc etc, and I am too. My sister is pathologically frugal (lots of time and money but cannot bring herself to spend it - she recognizes this obsession), my brother is not particularly frugal at all and I seem to be in the middle. I am a single mom by choice, so only one income - I have no debt other than mortgage, have over $1M saved for retirement (plus because I live in a crazy real estate market, I have an extra $600K in equity in my house) and I have enough cash invested for around 3/4 of each of my two teens college tuition and will be able to help with the rest of the tuition when the time comes (I want them to take some small loans themselves to get started on learning to pay things off and to establish credit). We live in a very small house (1280 sq feet, one bathroom!) and I am fine with that. Interestingly, my older son, who just graduated from high school, seems to be on the pathologically frugal pathway. He is always looking for jobs, works hard and has saved more than 12K. He opened a Roth when he was 16 and also has a little money in a town pension plan because he has worked for our town in the summers. The pathological part is that he actually gets mad at me if I buy something he does not think is necessary. On the other hand, my younger son spends almost every cent he earns or is gifted. Interestingly, my younger son is adopted - to me, a geneticist by trade, this suggests that genetics plays a big role in frugality. Both my boys have been raised with my very frugal lifestyle - the one who shares my genes has frugal habits, the one who shares no genes is a spender!
My parents have made really smart financial decisions and my dad was able to retire with a significant nest egg (that continues to grow) at about age 55. I REALLY wish that my parents had spent more time talking openly about their finances because I am a natural spender. I didn't fully grasp what it meant to budget or save or live within my means until I was in my late 30s. I'll be 40 this year and am still learning some really hard lessons.
I have made a lot of incredibly stupid financial decisions with credit cards and student loans. I have been bailed out by my parents as an adult an embarrassing number of times. Fortunately, they didn't bail me out when I went to them for help 18 months ago because I had gotten my husband and myself into a crushing amount of credit card debt by a) ignoring what our means were, b) feeling like I 'deserved' nice things, and c) taking a medication that completely wiped out my already shaky impulse control (I also gained a bunch of weight in this period....surprising to no one I'm sure!).
Instead of bailing me out, my parents helped us to secure a low-interest loan to pay down the highest rate credit cards, and they paid for one year of YNAB (youneedabudget.com). My life is forever changed because they finally said ENOUGH. Well, and also because of YNAB. My husband and I both have ADHD, so tricky budgeting software or Excel spreadsheets that we have to maintain are just non-starters. YNAB completely changed the way I understand money. I haven't brought myself to import my student loan balances (it's coming...), but our debt and spending is finally under control. I also credit UnDebt It (undebt.it) for making the debt snowball something that I can easily track. We pay around $60 a year to use these two programs. It is worth every.single. penny. (Sorry to buzz market here!)
Anyway, I think it's really important to note that I do not blame my parents for my poor decision-making. I only wish we had talked more openly about how to budget and save when I was growing up. I also wish that they hadn't bailed me out so quickly the first time I overdrew my checking account or ran up a credit card balance. I didn't appreciate how important it is to not spend what you don't have. It seems so obvious now, but it certainly wasn't innate to my weirdly wired brain.
Interesting question. My parents were born in 1935, and I am one of 5 kids. We had enough money for the basic necessities, but never money for the extras we wanted as kids. My mom to this day feels guilty about spending money on anything for herself despite having more than adequate reserves to do so. I do not carry debt but am not a great saver. My husband is much more of a saver than me. We have 3 kids and live in an upper middle class area, and I know I sometimes spend too much so my kids have the "right" clothes or toys because I felt the burn of not having that when I was a kid.
I will add that we are trying to teach our kids to be responsible for their spending. My oldest is in college and working. We pay for his room and board and travel expenses to and from school. He covers his tuition via scholarships + student loans. He works on campus and in the summer for spending money. He makes more than he spends at school, so he is looking to minimize his student loans via his summer earnings and graduating at least a semester early. He is a naturally frugal person, so this is not hard for him. My second child is still in high school but has 2 jobs. She is not naturally frugal like her brother and spends a lot of what she makes from one of her jobs on her social life - eating out with her friends and concerts, but she saves most of what she makes at the 2nd job. She is interested in maximizing her income at all times and actively pursues jobs she knows pay more than minimum wage. It is interesting to see the different personalities at play in terms of finances with these 2 kids. The 3rd is just 13, so we'll see how she develops!
The first "financial advice" I remember hearing was my dad saying, "We don't like debt." It stuck.
My grandparents grew up during the depression and that affected how my Mom raised us. I am a bit more of a spender than I was ten years ago as sort of a reaction to my Mom's constant guilt over spending money. She never really kept a budget so she just always felt guilty. I keep a pretty detailed budget but I do really like eating out (though we keep it to once a week for the most part). So basically, I get my use it up and do without from my grandma and my conscious handle on our budget as a reaction to my Mom's lack of control over hers. I wish my grandparents were still around to learn many things from. I wish I had spent more time with them learning when I was a teenager because by the time I was in college they were gone. So that's a lesson to younger readers: spend time with your family while you can because they won't always be there.
Both my parents and my husband's lived during the depression and were careful with money.His were much more frugal. My folks had 2 families, my older sis was 12 years ahead of me &I had 2 younger brothers. 2 of us are careful but not obsessed 2 had no control &we're forever in money trouble. Of my 3 1 was born frugal 1 has finally learned &1 is hopeless. Thankfully her daughter is like I am.
I grew up with a very frugal father. Now, at age 70, it is still hard for me to spend money. On anything.
Hey! Looking at that picture I can't believe how much your girls have changed. Sonia is all grown up and Lisey she looks like 20. Glad you have a blog so I can still see what you guys are up to. 😉
I know! My kids are changing so much right now. I always say the teen years are a little like the first five years of life. So much change happens each year.
My mom and dad born 1919 & 1914 ...suffered the depression of 1929 to 1939. When i was born we lived on a farm which was basically self sufficient with pigs, cows, chickens and large garden. Mother did make us three girls feed sack clothing! But her sewing always had a flair to it. Dad went back to get a college degree and ended up teaching science at a private school. Bought a ghost house...i am not kidding...and did all plumbing, rewiring himself. Rebuilt the place and added on using salvaged lumber and fixtures and materials...even old paint. So we children had a mansion to live in for real. Gardened, canned, had two large freezers, a chicken house and rabbit coops right in the city. Kind of like a fairy tale we girls made our dresses for dances in high school. Furniture...old family pieces repaired and yard sale pieces ...dad refinished them for us..mother made curtains, upholstered. I guess i learned everything i need is within my reach and power
Well, my parents came from opposite ends of the financial spectrum. My dad grew up in abject poverty - raised by a single, uneducated mother in the height of the depression. Hunger and evictions were a regular part of his experience. My mom, on the other hand, grew up in a very wealthy family. I think both of them sorta saw each other as their ticket out of what had been an unhappy childhood for both. As one might expect, it ended poorly, and they divorced when I was 4.
So my father has always been the king of frugal. Even now, in his 80s, it's like pulling teeth to get him to spend money - even though he and his wife have more money than they could possibly spend.
My mother learned to be frugal out of necessity - raising 2 kids as a single mom. But where my father saw middle class life as the height of luxury, I think on some level my mom always saw it as a burden. While she hated much of the "putting on of airs" of her upbringing, I think some part of her longed for the life that she abandoned and resented certain aspects of her situation.
As a kid, I always felt poor - we had much less money than the people around us, and I felt like I was missing out. Then I went to college (on scholarship) with a lot of really, REALLY rich people - many of whom were complete jerks, and the experience sort of radicalized me. It's sort of ironic because I chose that school specifically because it had a wealthy student body, and I wanted to learn all their secrets. But I came out of it all with a great respect for my frugal upbringing and the firm conviction that the upper class was a club I wanted no part of.
Great question! My parents taught me to be frugal, and I am infinitely grateful for that. I will say that now that I am pushing 40 and have been making my own decisions for a while, I realize that my parents taught me a specific kind of frugality. Save your money. Live below your means. Don't take too many risks. It is the risks part that I have tried to learn to overcome. I am not a crazy risk taker, but investment and the possibility of a greater payoff from something like starting a business also has a place in a healthy financial plan. Too much siege mentality will keep you from getting creamed, but it will also keep you in the trenches.
You have a beautiful family! Thanks for sharing the lovely photos!
My parents were born in 1928 and 1930. Both were farmers but one was well off. The other was poor. They paid cash for everything. They saved money but once it had accumulated, it was spent (usually on a new vehicle). They never spoke about money. Dad fixed everything he could and held a job. Mom worked 2 jobs and made the most money.
I was a spendy 20-something and paid cash for everything. I had a good job and saved for marriage. Currently, I'm the same- pay my bills and save a little. Invest a little.
The only time we divulged our financial situation with the kids was when we had lost jobs and were quite poor. We had to be extremely choosey on how we spent our money and what our priorities were.. The oldest took it well. The youngest was upset.
The oldest is 20-something and likes to shop but saves for car insurance and other things. The youngest is a miser and attending college.
Like many other readers, my parents were also raised during the Depression. My father grew up in poverty and became the ultimate financial frugalist, money expert and notably wealthy. My mother's family had more income growing up and although my mother was frugal, she was able to spend more easily than my father.
My sister and I were raised in the same household with the same parents, yet I became frugal and my sister is the spender. The answer to determinant of financial outlook would seem to be multi-causal: environment, parenting/modeling, disposition/personality, genetics.
My dad was a Vietnam Vet who struggled with PTSD, in a time where it was not recognized or understood. He struggled to hold a job. I don't remember going without so my parents made it work but I understood things were tight financially. I can always remember the joy of seeing my dad's lunchbox coming out of storage to sit on it's place on the kitchen counter... dad found another job!
Ahh...interesting topic!
My mom's family was not poor, exactly. Both of them worked, but neither in high-paying fields. They were well-respected but definitely blue-collar. Growing up through the Depression had an impact, my grandma saved EVERYTHING, her cabinets were a riot, and they were both savers. My grandpa had as a dream his whole life to own a farm and when they retired they bought one and he grew beans and corn and had an orchard. They were content and that was my strongest impression of how they felt about money.
My other grandma seemed to have not saved any money, my dad supported her, and his stories of his unstable childhood have always stuck with me.
When I was little my parents were struggling. The 70's were hard on small business owners and it wasn't until the early-mid 80's that things improved dramatically. By the early 90's they were sending us to private school and we were taking nicer vacations. The difference was a shock, I never quite believed we now had money. My parents were definitely savers in the bad times but spenders in the good times, a pattern I tend to repeat.
My husband's parents came from truly poor families and are the most frugal people I have ever met. Rolling in cash, won't spend it. Even when they really, really should.
My husband isn't particularly interested in material things, brands and looking impressive to others means nothing to him, but he has certain things he thinks we should save and spend a ton on. Good speakers and big tvs, for one. Lol! I seem to have feast or famine mindset. I can easily scrimp and save and spend nothing...or we have a great year and I finally buy new shoes and clothes (usually used, but I often don't buy ANY clothes in a year) and then house stuff and then more activities for the kids and it gets crazy and I have gone months overspending. I'm working on it.
I do save, though. We have been investing since we were in college. I just tend to spend anything I haven't invested or put into a named savings account. Consequently, we have 10? 11? named savings accounts and large automatic deposits set up for each one. No matter what happens, we can always pay taxes, insurances, etc.!
Funny that I saw you posting about this as I literally JUST wrote a blog post the other week about my own personal history with money, and how it shaped how I am now with money! I definitely came from a house where frugality was not an option (though eventually, once my mom remarried, she still continued frugal habits as a choice, though not as strictly). I am definitely naturally frugal as a result of my upbringing, but I could see why some people who grew up in a household without much would swing the other way and be very spendy. It probably comes down to how you feel about being frugal---if it's this huge sacrifice, then you're more likely to change those habits down the road. If you're frugal in order to meet certain financial goals, it's a bit easier to stick with.