Being easily pleased is a superpower
This morning, I was thinking about how when we all make our thankful lists on Thursdays, we are often mentioning small things that bring us joy.
And that got me thinking about how being easily pleased (or maybe "easily delighted") is kind of a super power, largely because it vastly improves the chances that you can be pleased on an everyday basis!
If you are only delighted when you eat at an upscale restaurant, you will be delighted pretty infrequently.
But if you can be delighted with some homemade soup and bread, you can be delighted nearly as often as you like.
If you are only happy when you get to go on a brand-new outdoor adventure, you will only get to have that happiness here and there.
But if you can stop and notice the beauty when you walk on your neighborhood streets, or you pay attention to the way that the seasons make your local walking route change, then you can find happiness right outside your front door.
Some small pleasures that came to mind for me are:
- the sun on my face at any time of year
- a cup of coffee at home
- the delicious feeling of a cozy hoodie
- small beauties in nature, all year round (ice, snow, spring buds, flowers, fall colors)
- the luxury of sliding into fresh, clean sheets after I wash them and remake my bed
- the wonderful sensation of falling asleep at the end of a long day (I really like going to bed, if you couldn't tell!)
- the smell of homemade bread (sometimes I break open a fresh homemade roll and sniff it. So good!)
- a grilled cheese sandwich (ok, most sandwiches, honestly)
- the smell of outdoor air, especially in the spring
- the sound of my girls' laughter and giggles
- the smell of a fresh bar of soap, especially the handmade ones that organic stores sell
- the joy that I get from helping someone
All of these things are either free or nearly free and they don't require a lot of time, which means I can experience these happinesses on a near-daily basis.
And that's why I think this is a superpower. 🙂
You can practice this!
I suppose there are some people for whom this comes more naturally, but I really think that with practice, most of us can become more easily delighted.
And I think we can mainly accomplish this by growing in our capacity to see and appreciate small things. In my experience, the more I keep an eye out for little joys, the more I find those little joys.
A few ideas that might help you in this practice:
- keep a journal with a tiny entry each day, listing a small pleasure or two
- take photos! This single practice has made a huge difference for me; I see the world differently than I did before I got into the habit of taking photos
- use your social media/texting to share small joys; I find that little delights are even more delightful when I share them with others
- communicate appreciation to others when they have been the source of a small joy in your life ("I love your style!" "Your laugh is infectious." "You crack me up." "The cookies you made are SO GOOD.")
I am sure that many of you are experts at this, so:
What practices help you to be easily pleased?
_______________
P.S. I think it should probably go without saying, but: there are senses in which being too easily pleased is a problem. For instance, if you are pleased with a terrible boss who is merely less toxic than the one you had before, that's a lapse in judgment.
Or if you have a spouse who never helps out and then you are are over the moon if that spouse pitches in and does 5% of the work, that's just you having standards that are too low.
Anyway. That's not what I'm talking about in this post!
I was thinking this weekend that my husband and I have a gate to happiness that swings open easily, and we're just not spoiled. We had a lovely weekend, when all we did was stay home (Covid is raging still where we live), make popcorn to eat while catching up on a favorite TV show, cook and eat a yummy Italian meal, and just spent time together reading and talking. I know people who would be bored silly doing that, but we loved it.
@Ruby, That doesn't sound boring at all.....sounds absolutely blissful!
@Ruby, this was so sweet to read! what a delightful time <3
This is something I've thought about too, because I enjoy the little things! I LOVE the beach but we live four hours away, and only make it there about once a year. So I can't go a year without doing things I love!
@Tammy,
I am so fortunate and thankful to live within 30-45 min of the coast at the closest. The women that I walk with plan it so once a month we can go when it is low tide for us to be able to walk along the beach, even in winter.
What a great post! Finding joy in little things seems like such a key to contentment.
Many times it is the small things we delight in and are thankful for that help us through tough times and tough days.
If anything, I doubled down on noting small things that brought joy and delight in these last two years as my life became very constricted and changed even further in terms of certain aspects, rendering what was already major health challenges.
Loved this post because it is just so true. Find the joy in the every day life because that is where it lies. Waiting for major events (which may or may not occur anymore) is a surefire way of missing out on what IS right now.
It really is the simplest of things to start: Hot, running water; heat as needed; electricity; local affordable transportation. Delivery services! The exceptional helpful CS rep. (so many are not and the cause of much frustration). Friends who maintain contact. The list goes on.
The other morning I had a particular breakfast cereal that I had not had in years and it was soooo good. It made me smile for quite awhile afterwards.
When we fail to appreciate and celebrate the "little" delights, we miss an opportunity for joy and peace.
@Irena, I'm with you on the extra helpful CS reps, definitely rare birds, but I get inwardly excited when I get one!
Thank you for reminding us of this. Young children are usually so easily pleased; why do they grow out of it? Or why do we guide them out of it?
On facebook today, (and I am sorry I don't have a source beyond that), I saw a compilation of pairs of photos of the same people. The photographer took a photo of a person, then told the subject he/she was beautiful, then took the second photo. Such smiles in the second photo!
@Heidi Louise, I agree with you regarding small children. I take my grandson on a stroller ride every week. We look at the blue sky, airplanes and the white puffy clouds. We listen to the birds singing.
When I come he gets so excited and says outside and stroller ride.
I am seeing the world through his eyes.
I get sad when I think about him growing up and getting his wonder beat out of him. Sigh!
@karen, I think you have figured out how to be a grandma just right, and I don't think you should change anything, even when he is grown up. The stroller might be gone, but the wonder can remain.
A practice that helps me is building enough margin into my day to be able to slow down enough that I can appreciate the little things. If I'm in a hurry, it's harder to appreciate the beauty around me.
This really hit home with me one day during the early pandemic when my kids and I spent a solid 15 minutes watching the ants in our driveway. (It's not like we had anywhere to go.) It was SO cool to watch! But how often did I take time to marvel at something like that? I can't always pause for 15 minutes, but I can prioritize things in my day (cutting some things out where needed) so that I'm not rushing everywhere I go.
@Ruth T,
Oh I so agree! We can prioritize cutting some stuff out so we can stop and watch the ants!
@Ruth T,
I love that! What a fun lesson they got!
I am delighted every time I read this blog because (content aside), the grammar and literacy of this blog far surpasses most others. And you obviously proofread it as well! 😉
@Bobi,
That is so true!!!!
Ok, this is funny because while I do usually proof-read my posts, I was in a big rush this morning. So, I literally finished typing, hit "publish" and then ran out the door. And as I left I thought, "Gee, I hope I didn't make any dumb grammar/spelling errors." Heh.
@Kristen, this is so true. A couple of my favorite bloggers clearly do not proof read and one is an MD. Sometimes an entire sentence makes no sense. Many words are mistyped or are incorrectly used. Drives me nuts. How long can it take?
@Anne, Maybe the MD is transcribing from their written notes.
@WilliamB, I guess I shouldn't complain. At least we're not required to read his handwriting. 🙂 🙂
I love this post. For me, finding delight in the small things helps crowd out the negativity that wants to keep creeping in. Today I found joy in solving wordle in three guesses instead of my usual four (thrill!), a hot shower, watching my little lovey's burst of energy on her way to getting a spoon for breakfast (she's just this bundle of energy - she joyfully explodes into twirls, jumps, kicks and song for no reason at all), and putting on my cozy leggings. All ordinary things but they really add to my sense of wellbeing.
@CrunchyCake,
Somving Wordle in three guesses today was an accomplishment!
@Bee, I have to try it today! I couldn’t get it yesterday. It seemed impossible, and I gave up.
I try to find joy in little things although sometimes the feeling is shallow that either it feels a bit fake or it doesn't hold up in the face of a setback. I have two pretty reliable small pleasures. One is pulling a rabbit out of a hat, culinarily; the other is a hot shower. Running hot water is a miracle of modern engineering and city planning - and I've stayed in enough places to appreciate this.
@WilliamB,
I'm with you! I usually say a prayer of thanks every time I get into my hot shower. I don't have culinary magic tricks, though - I'm a boring cook and it's hard to mess up old reliables.
In the late winter, I find joy in the sunsets and sunrises - I live where it's flat so the sky is so open and dramatically colored. Esp. with the bare tree branches in silhouettes.
@mbmom11, My rabbits aren't necessarily fancy, they're my pulling something off at the last minute or with limited resources. For example, I discovered 5 min before book club began that my cupcakes were dry and mildly (not deeply) chocolately. It took me less than 10 minutes to realize I had the ingredients for cream cheese frosting, find a quick recipe, make it, and frost the cupcakes.
@WilliamB,
That was awesome!
@WilliamB, I am so hungry now!
What a wonderful post! It is truly a beautiful world, and life itself is such a miracle. The sounds, the sights, the smells, the brilliant colors …
Being able to find joy and delight in simple things is a gift. I’m thankful that my parents passed this gift on to me. My mother watched the sunrise over the ocean every morning and was always pointing out some small, wonderful thing such as the smell of the orange blossoms. On a particularly beautiful day she would say, “God came down and kissed the earth today.” My father loved jazz and was often found listening to music and drawing. He did yoga every morning before it was fashionable. They saw every experience, ever person as special. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for them. It shaped who I am.
Although I love a big adventure, I am happy enjoying the simple things. Birdsong, the roar of the ocean, the purr of calico kitty, the glorious sunset, my flower garden, a conversation with my children, or a dish of ice cream. Sometimes it is difficult to be that person. I have been accused of being Pollyanna or having my head in the sand. However, I make a choice everyday to see and feel the beauty in the people and the world around me. I hope that I’ve passed this on to my children too.
I think it's helpful to step back and look at what you do have and appreciate where we are compared to most of human history. Modern plumbing, electricity, HVAC, homes, vehicles, food availability, appliances, etc.
I also think that spending time in nature is good for the soul. Last week we noticed trees with smooth white bark on them when we walked a new, to us, trail. The next day we noticed a few of these same trees on a trail near our home that we've walked many times. They're beech trees but we saw them in a new light. We also appreciate sunrises and sunsets, trees, flowers, etc. when we take the time to notice. Listen to the birds chirping because it's spring.
Watch how you frame things: are you glad so many people are enjoying a trail or upset because there are more people on it than you'd like. Are you upset because the grocery store was out of an item on your list or grateful you were able to buy everything else you wanted. I went to lunch with a friend today and I ordered a mild version of a normally spicy meal. It was spicy but it slowed down my eating and encouraged me to save some of the food for another day which makes it less likely the meal will bother me.
This is a great post. We have so many more opportunities to be delighted by small things than by great big things.
I get delight out of watching the birds at my feeder. For example, there is humor in watching the no-nonsense doves chase off the squirrels, and I get warm fuzzies when I see mom and dad cardinal bring newly fledged youngsters to the feeder.
I am always delighted when I have an empty block of time, a good book and a comfy chair on a rainy day.
I enjoy the fresh smell after a rain. And as long as it's not during a truly bad storm, I enjoy the sound of thunder rumbling.
I am delighted at the sound of my wind chime. My husband bought me a good quality windchime for Christmas one year, and it is exactly what I wanted. I smile every time I hear it.
It's so easy to overlook these small things; this is a good exercise, like thankfulness.
I agree with @RuthT that having margin in one's day provides an environment that enables us to slow down long enough to see good and beauty around us. My joy has increased as I've made that margin more of a priority (not to the neglect of my family and their needs). When I protect minutes in my day for sitting on my porch swing and soaking up sun, I'm more refreshed (better regulated) and thus able to process what I see/hear/smell/taste more fully (as opposed to being dysregulated and in reaction mode all the time).
I am not that great at noticing new things to be happy with, but I do have some old reliables. 1. Running water and electricity, which I learned to appreciate when I lived in a cabin without either one. I mean, how great is it to be able to poop in a warm room and then flush it away!? 2. Toilet paper, which I grew up appreciating because my parents kept talking about how they had to do without it during the war years. 3. The ability to read with ease. My husband is severely dyslexic and struggles so hard to read or even to punch in phone numbers in the right order, that I have developed a new appreciation for the miracle of being able to read. Everything beyond plumbing, electricity, and books is pretty much gravy, as far as I am concerned. Well, I should add living in northern Alaska, too. This place is freaking fabulous, even after 50 years of living here; not a day goes by where at some point I don't think about how lucky I am to live in a nature documentary.
@Lindsey, I love this.
@Lindsey, now, every time I go to the bathroom I'm gonna think of you. I have a serious tendency to complain about the cold seat in winter so I will definitely give your perspective a try! 🙂
@Lindsey, my poor husband is 79 and was dyslexic when no one knew what that was. And his mother was a teacher. He just assumed he was stupid and eventually dropped out of high school. He didn't know what learning disabilities were until we married and he was in his forties. Also, keeping numbers straight is a huge problem. I feel so bad that for many years he didn't know it wasn't his fault.
In the spring time, the first time I smell fresh cut grass I have to stop whatever I am doing and drink it in. The smell always brings me happiness.
So funny that I was talking to my husband last night and mentioned a couple of the things you wrote about! I mentioned to him that I so look forward to my cup of coffee in the morning and just like you, I love going to sleep at night in a nice comfortable bed! My husband and I like to watch mysteries each night, usually it's a series that continues on for many seasons. We may only spend 45 min or an hour, but it's a nice way for a busy mind like mine to check out. I'll look forward to that quiet time during the day when it's busy.
When I was growing up, my best friend and I would say, it's up to us to create our fun and we get to decide what is fun. (we were friends from 5th grade and on) Once we were old enough, we would get on our bikes and go visiting other friends, or ride to the store and buy some candy or get some treat. We'd be gone for many hours (before cell phones) and I remember how happy this would make us. Still to this day, I really enjoy the simple things in life. We were on a road trip and my husband went in to pay for gas while I waited in the car. He bought me some cupcakes that I like. So simple, but thoughtful, something I wouldn't do, and it made my day that he thought of me! Thank you for this reminder, Kristen!
I drink a lot of water, but I like it super cold; I'm so grateful to have a fridge with an icemaker, and an icemaker at work. I love the little splurge I make in a Sirius subscription in my modest commuter car since my commute is long. I am grateful for my needlework hobby, which keeps me happily and inexpensively absorbed at home. Like Kristen, I appreciate going to bed at the end of the day, and I appreciate my soft blankets and sheets which are easily washable since the cats sleep on them too.
I like your list of suggestions, Kristen. Most of the time I am easily delighted .... but there are times (like now) when I struggle with that and it's helpful to think of ways to renew my delight in the everyday. I find that if I can "get out of my head"--by hiking a different trail, connecting with a friend over coffee, trying a new recipe--I become less mopey and more able to find enjoyment in simple things. If anyone has other ideas for reigniting delight, feel free to add them to my comment!
My joys-
FaceTime with the grands.
Morning coffee.
Heating blankets.
My nutty dog talking to me.
A white owl in our tree. Listening to it hoot at night.
--teaching my youngest to play the piano.
--going for a hike in our favorite preserve, first time in 2 1/2 months that it hasn't been too cold/super muddy!
--discovering Midsomer Murders on Amazon.
--reading in a hot bath.
--taking some of our kids to drive by our future (new to us) house, and hearing our youngest gasp, "It's so beautiful!" (it's a modest ranch home, not large or fancy at all, but he found it lovely.)
One of my small pleasures in the colder months is getting back in bed after having gotten up in the middle of the night and finding the warm spot where my feet were before is still warm! It is so cozy to snuggle back in bed and fall asleep then.
The smell of favorite meals and dishes always delights me, but a few special smells I miss from my Midwest childhood — long ago and far away — are new mown alfalfa, rain on freshly plowed earth, and the fragrance of freshly washed clothes that froze outside on the line and are thawing inside. And oh, the sounds — rain on the roof, the song of the meadow lark, and, although it is a stereotype used on TV shows, a few crickets chirping beyond the screen door that definitely did creak when it was opened and closed.
I’ve always loved the little things, honestly. Maybe it comes from growing up without a lot? I love my husband’s cooking more than eating out. And I get so much happiness from seeing my sons succeed academically and professionally. They’re both doing well, and it brings me incredible joy because I love them more than anything. I got an “Innovating” review at work today, as a middle school reading teacher. That review brings me enough joy to hopefully make it another year at teaching, which even after 25 years and every trick up my sleeve, it’s a tough job right now. My period 3 class stepped up today during my evaluation/observation in a way that honestly brings tears to my eyes. Without being asked, even my 8th grader who sleeps and is failing most classes, he volunteered and showed that he understands how to do inference. Period 3 didn’t have to help me out, but they did. So, yes, I can’t solve a war or help innocent people right now in the ways I’d like to, but I have to take these little things and try to be content.
Thank you for this post, Kristen. I am also someone who delights in the little things. I am also a huge fan of my confortable bed, clean sheets, and a hot shower. I am also thankful that as a single woman, I have the right to own my own home, something that wasn't possible not that long ago. I am thankful for modern conveniences, such as my microwave oven. I use it every day. (I am not a gourmet cook.) Also, air conditioning is such a blessing, living in a hot desert climate.
When I was in college we made posters every year with "natural highs" on them. This made me think of that! I love all the things you listed! Just...feeling the sun, especially if it's been cold out for a while, is a reason to be happy! Oh, Kristen this is fun!
I think...just looking around and being grateful to be here helps me find easy ways to be pleased.
- I love seeing the wildlife on the golf course...baby goslings, hawks, bunnies...nature is so pretty!
- My quiet mornings with my mocha, watching the sun rise...
- Journaling each morning
- Just...seeing other people happy!
Love this post!
Kristen, this is a wonderful, timely post. Overall, I've found that the simpler I make everything, the more pleased I am and the more reserves I have for dealing with life's challenges. Simplicity is a true gift. To me, less is definitely more.
I have a friend who is currently posting on Facebook her reasons to "choose joy" on a semi-regular basis. Her posts have been such an encouragement to me, as she has had to choose joy through some very difficult circumstances. Noticing these simple blessings also helps me to "choose joy" in my daily life more frequently.
As far as my own simple pleasures that bring joy these have to be at the top of the list:
books (especially the great availability through my library)
hot, running water
hot, sweetened, black tea
fresh air
cozy clothes
Oh, the smell of coffee in the morning.
And a few minutes later.......the taste.
And my husband makes it for me every.single.morning!
You are so right! I so appreciate our sunny days after cold, wet, gloomy days. I love to take pictures of the early morning sky, just before the sun really comes out, sunsets, beautiful night skies. It's all simple beauty, all around us! (And, a big mug of coffee is always a simple pleasure!)
I do so love some simple things and I know you are right that we need to be aware of simple things. This week in south east Queensland, Australia I am so happy and grateful that we live on high ground and compared to many the recents floods have hardly altered our days. I am grateful for small things like super crunchy grapes that snap and are cool in our summer heat. I care for my mother and she is super fussy. Going out is such a trial. If we eat out we might move table three times before she is half way happy. so any time I sit down with out complaints I am happy. My granddaughters' and their simple joys fill my heart. My daughter was surprised that I actually join in my treasures games. We have the bestest times together. I live in an area where I have access to electricity, clean water and good services. I think we should all spend some time doing without to remind us how good things are. Wash you clothes by had and you will be grateful for that handy servant. Better get off my hobby horse.
Contentment is much underrated, possibly because it is confused with complaisance or with lack of ambition.
I've been brought up with contentment and I am grateful for that (making a jump to thankful Thursday here, because I read this post during Thursday morning coffee!)
Living alongside a canyon, that ends at the ocean two miles away, is a gift that keeps on giving.
- We can view both sunrises over the distant mountains, and sunsets out over the ocean, from our home, and try very hard to remember to gaze at both whenever we can.
- Yesterday we watched a Great Horn Owl land on top of our patio umbrella right at dusk. We were thrilled to our bones.
- The sea lions that hang out at the nearby harbor never fail to amuse.
- Seeing dolphin, or migrating gray whale at this time of year, will stop me in my tracks each and every time I'm out walking along the beach.
- Our resident roadrunners entertain endlessly. Last week a male sat on top of our block wall, calling out the mating call for a full hour. Hoping he found one, poor guy!
- The cry of a red tail hawk soaring over our canyon is majesty in motion. I'll run outside to see if I can spot him/her every single time.
Thank you for this beautiful post, Kristen!
When my kids were small we called this concept Fun For Zero Dollars (FFZD) but I think Easily Pleased rolls off the tongue much more melodiously
I am soo late to this party but this blog, in general, just keeps getting better and better. What a great topic! Kristen's enlightened ideas and the readers' wonderful discussions are always fun and upbeat—and entirely useful. This one is a gem that I need to bookmark to read over when needed.
Mondays I walk with a small group of women. The walks began at the behest of the Sr. Center director. They advertise it. Others have said they are interested; but only 5 of us show up. It starts the week off on the "right" foot. We walk the woods and the beach, noticing changes in sight and sound. And we always have the camera out for something we notice.
Because of a program we had at club last month, I noticed a monument at the cemetery I pass by often when out walking to and from the center of town. Yesterday I captured a photo of it.
Clean sheets on the bed after they have hung out in the air to dry.
Watching the trees dance in the wind. Some days the blueness of the sky is amazing.
@JEG, I am getting together with women Sat. night. We used to get together once a week; but life and then Covid got in the way. The question of dessert came up. I said I haven't had grapenut custard pudding in a long while. All of the women in the group enjoy it. None of our families like it. So, I am making that to bring with nice stiff, fresh whipped cream.
I am going to have to google that; I've never heard of grape nut custard pudding!
That is a great superpower! I can totally relate and I think that's why I've followed your blog longer than any other!!
Aww, thank you for sticking around!
A solid list Kristen, and many small pleasures I share as well. Basking in the sun, even if just for a moment, the smell after a rain, warm socks right out of the dryer, and admiring the love neighbors give to their homes to spruce them up. I'd like to think I'm delighted everyday thanks to mindfulness and conscious spending!