Christmas Q&A | Kid's Gift Budgets and Santa
Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you'd like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!
I asked for Christmas questions and you guys came through in a big way! I've got Christmas questions out the wazoo. 🙂 I'll try to answer as many as I can this month, and maybe some of them will end up being answered in my Christmas e-book.
Do you and Mr. FG set the same budget for gifts for each of your kids or do they get the same number of gifts or do you just buy each child one thing they really want?
-Kathy
I would say that we keep our spending right about the same for each kid (around $50 apiece), but if we really want to give a particular child something a little bit more expensive, we'll sometimes spend more.
And if we feel like we've gotten enough stuff for a particular child and haven't gotten to $50 yet (it's happened quite a bit especially when our kids were really little), we don't feel obligated to spend more.
When answering the budget question I'd like to get your opinion on a middle class parent having a $600 per child budget for Christmas? I thought it was high but maybe I'm over thinking it.
-Joyce
For us, that would definitely be high. While we could manage to save up that much for each kid (that'd be $2400!), we don't feel like it's necessary and we also would have to cut back on some of our other monetary goals to accomplish that (our van fund would seriously suffer).
Also, we don't feel like our kids need $600 of stuff at Christmastime. We'd much prefer to teach them to be content with less and to think more about giving to people who aren't so fortunate.
That's us, though. Another family may very well be able to afford $600/kid and they may still be doing a great job of giving to the less fortunate, and of teaching their children to be content and generous. So, as long as that $600/kid family wasn't complaining to me about not being able to pay their bills, it wouldn't bother me much.
My question is how much of your $50/kid budget is brand new stuff and how much is second hand? I am trying to buy 2nd hand for my kids, but its hard.
-Karen
That depends on the year and the kid! We try to buy second-hand when its possible and when it's un-cheezy (meaning that we try to find used things that are as good as the new versions).
Last year I bought Duplos for Zoe on e-bay, and Sonia got a ton of new-in-the-package bath goodies from Goodwill.
I also found some art supplies for them at Goodwill. We bought a good number of our kids' presents brand new, though, and I'm sorry to say that I don't have a handy-dandy new/used proportion for you!
I'd just suggest getting as many items as you can second-hand, and then not worrying about buying new for the rest of the gifts.
What should I do/say about Santa Claus? I distinctly remember being told he wasn't real in kindergarten (too young!) and being very sad about it. As an adult, I don't like the deception and being black, it kind of rubs me the wrong way, too. That said, I think I am going to tell my 2 year old about him and go along with the fantasy, but I was wondering what you think.
-Laura
Mr. FG and I have never "done" Santa Claus with our children mainly because we don't feel comfortable telling them something that's not true. We think it's fun to pretend and tell stories and have make-believe, but only when it's clear that we're doing that, and aren't passing off something as true when it's not. Because of this we don't tell them that that the tooth fairy or the Easter Bunny are real either.
(An example to tie those two sentences together: When one of our children loses a tooth, we have them put it under their pillow so that the "tooth fairy" will come. But, all of our children know good and well that there is no such thing as the tooth fairy and that the person putting money under the pillow is a member of our household (usually me!). Because it's fun, though, we keep playing the game. I took forever to get around to taking care of Lisey's last tooth, and we joked about it. "I can't imagine what in the world the tooth fairy has been doing. Maybe she's on vacation!!" to which I replied, "I wish!". 😉 We have silly fun with it even though our kids don't believe the tooth fairy is real.)
We want to be very, very sure that our children can trust us implicitly, and we feel like we might be putting that at risk by telling them Santa is real and that Santa brings them presents.
In addition, we are not on board with the "Behave so that Santa will bring you presents!" sort of thing that some people do (Go to a mall at Christmastime and you'll definitely hear this out of the mouth of a exasperated mom!). We want our children to behave year round, not just in December, and we want them to behave out of love for God, not love for presents.
And no matter how bad they are, we will still love them and give them presents (after all God sent Jesus, not because we were all so wonderful, but because He loves us).
I wonder: if one tells one child that Santa et al aren't real, what does one tell them about talking with kids who do think they're real?
-WilliamB
Though we're firmly on the no-Santa end of things, we remind our children with great regularity that some children do think that Santa is real and that Santa brings them presents. And we tell them to never tell another child that Santa isn't real.
So far, they've not ever blown the secret for any other kids...I think the closest they've come is telling our neighbor that Santa doesn't bring presents to our house. The neighbor kid seemed to accept that without a problem, though.
Oh, and we try to teach our kids to have a gracious attitude towards families who do the Santa thing. We are confident in our decision about Santa, but this issue is not a hill to die on and definitely not something that should make us look down on other people. 🙂
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Readers, what are your thoughts on these Christmas-y topics?
(Just because Santa can tend to be such a hot topic, do remember to keep things calm in the comments. Shanks!)
Today's 365 post: A 4-picture post
Right now, our live-in granddaughter, who is a 2nd grader, still believes in Santa, although the seeds of doubt have been planted by a few classmates. We will let her decide when she no longer believes in him.
At that time, the "game" becomes not in believing he exists, but in proving he doesn't! Santa will become much like your tooth fairy and continue "doing his job". Even the adults in our family still get gifts from Santa under the tree.
As for our budget for our granddaughter, this year we purchased about $150 worth in gifts for her, $105 of which was from Amazon credits earned from Swagbucks. So we only spent about $50 out of pocket. We can afford to spend more, but we decided what we've bought is plenty, and perhaps slightly more than enough. We want her to be happy and excited on Christmas morning, but not overwhelmed.
Oh my! I am glad to see someone whom I have faith in believe the same way as I about Santa, etc. I am a huge believer in simple holidays, and for that matter, life! I am a stay-at-home-mom and hubby and I don't want to live a lifestyle to jeopardize that. We spent the first 4 1/2 years of our 12 year marriage becoming debt free. God's blessings, hard work, and sacrifice.
One question: My daughter is only 3, but I am wondering how, in the future, I would explain the difference in our family's gifting and say, another (close) family member whose gifts may be 3 or so high-dollar items per child?
Thanks for your writings. They are a shining light and I look forward to reading them. I completely agree with your no reality tv decision, but I'd be first in line for a book!
We do the same exact thing when it comes to Santa Claus. Most of the time people are mortified when they find out ("but you're taking away all the magic of Christmas/Easter/losing your teeth/St. Patrick's Day!") but I do sometimes find people who nod and say "yeah, that makes sense." We are sure to tell our kids not to "spoil" it for anyone else, and it's ok for families to believe different things.
It's important for me that my kids know mommy & daddy, or grandma, bought the presents, and we worked hard for the money to buy them. I want all the credit, darn it! Also, if I want my kids to really know that Jesus is what Christmas and Easter are all about I need to practice what I preach and not focus on other figures.
Anyway... just glad to see someone else doing the same!
St. Patrick's Day???? How do people celebrate that other than with beer? (ie. how does a mythical something (I'm guessing a leprechaun???) fit in with children on the holiday?)
When I was a child I was led to believe that Santa was real and found out because I was looking for wrapping paper and found "Santa" presents. (I was wanting to wrap a present I had gotten my brother.) And I remember I took it hard. My brother on the other hand, let my Mom know one day that he didn't exist. I never told him, so he just figured it out on his own. I have a two year old son, and his father staunchly disagrees with the notion of Santa. I'm hesitant, but ONLY because I don't want him to feel bad because other kids would make fun of him. You know the whole "The only reason you don't believe in Santa is because you're too naughty for him to bring you presents." I've heard it said by kids before, so my question is, how do you teach your children to be strong in those moments YET still be kind to the kid that is being mean.
My kids just tell other kids "Santa doesn't come to my house." and if they're pressed, they say "my mommy and daddy give me my Christmas presents." They have a little bit of smug satisfaction if kids give them a hard time, because they know that they know the truth and they're right. But honestly, I get more flack from grown-ups than my kids get from other kids. I make a point of telling other parents that I don't have a problem with anyone else doing Santa- it just doesn't work for my family. My rejection of Santa isn't a judgement on anyone else.
I was happy to see that other parents don't do the whole "Santa" thing. My kids are older (28 and 24) now but when they were little we did Christmas as Jesus' birthday not Santa. We were definately not as religious in our lifestyle as you are but the whole "if you are good Santa will bring you everything you ask for" just worried me. When the kids were very little one of the women's magazines had an editorial essay pointing out how difficult the Santa bringing everything myth could be. Imagine a small child in an NYC apartment being devestated that they didn't get the pony they asked for - were they bad? Or the fear that could arise from believing this Santa man could see them all the time and know if they were bad or good.
Of course I got my share of "bad parent" criticism since I was "depriving" my children of the fantasy of Santa. I also taught my children not to destroy other's beliefs in the various childhood myths. Have a great holiday.
We have always done Santa, but he's never been the biggest part of Christmas. There is an excellent book that was read to me as a child and we read it on the way to Grandma's house every year now. The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, by Julie Lane. It's been out of print and reprinted, so it might be a little hard to find, but most book stores can order it for you. Read it for yourself first, because it might not fit into who you want Santa to be for your kids. (Spoiler alert: Nicholaus dies, like a human.) For mine....they were never going to believe the magic Santa story, anyway. This book let us have Santa, promoted values of giving and helping others, loyalty, and community. It also transformed Santa from some sort of "lie" (as others put it... I had never thought of it that way before.) to a worthy family tradition that envokes the spirit of Christmas and charity.
I like these questions!
Our gift budget for our 4 children is $100/child plus $20 for stockings/child.
When possible, I try to get gifts second hand. This year I didn't manage that at all, but last year I scored on a "Free" used scooter for my then 4 yr old, and a pair of "free" gently used rollarblades for my then 7 yr old. Those two free gifts saved me from spending about $75.
As for Santa, our philosophy closely matches yours, Kristen. We've never "encouraged" our children to believe in Santa, though we didn't out-right tell them Santa doesn't exist.... until they asked. As each child reached about 4-5 yrs old, they started asking the question "Is Santa real?" to which we answered "Santa lives inside of each one of us when we give generously and happily to others. Santa doesn't bring us presents at Christmastime but when we give each other presents, we are showing a giving nature, just like Santa's... and just like God when he gave us his precious son Jesus..." then it segways right into a discussion about the true meaning of Christmas (to us).
Although we've told them each of them to keep what they know about Santa to themselves, my children just seemed to know instinctively that the "secret" of Santa was one that was not to be discussed outside of our home or in front of other chidlren. I have yet to hear any of them saying anything to another child about Santa's existance.
We're our Jewish, so our son has always known the "truth" about Santa--was sworn to secrecy, and has never spoiled it for his friends...thank goodness. But one year, I think he felt left out because he wasn't having the fun of Santa...so we took him to a church nearby that has a Christmas light display, and watched a re-enactment of the story of Christmas so he could see baby Jesus, etc. and know that Christmas isn't just about Santa and presents, but is a real religious holiday.
As far as the tooth fairy goes, we tried to pull off that charade...but he was terrified at the idea of someone coming in his room when he was sleeping. So, he knew early on that we were the toothfairy, and Kristen...like your family, he still puts his teeth under his pillow and the toothfairy comes...but we all know how it really works 😉
We do Santa, but he's never the biggest part of Christmas. My kids are now teenagers and they've known who fills the stockings now for many, many years. We've read The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by Julie Lane every year on the way to Grandma's since the kids were very little. My parents read it to me when I was growing up. It's an excellent "old world" Santa story and was the perfect fit for us. Julie Lane's Nicholaus has given me and my children a Santa we can remember as a human who's loyalty, compassion, patience, and generosity were his true magic. You might want to read it alone first...this Nicholaus might not fit into what your family wants Santa to be right now. (It's a story about this Nicholaus' WHOLE life..even the end.)
I have no monetary interest in this book....I just love it.
Sorry...double post. Thought the first one timed out....
Great post. I will admit that we spend quite a bit more on our kids Christmas. They do not get much throughout the year, I buy all year long on clearance, sales, yardsales, ebay etc. and unless they need it then, I save it for Christmas. One child is getting a computer this year but she needs it for homeschool so it is a double purpose gift and we can pay our bills and buy Chirstmas with cash. In looking what our kids get, its a lot of the needs (clothes, books, sports equipment they will need etc) with just a couple wants in there. My kids do not expect it and have never made the "list". Throughout the year they may voice that they love something but that is it. I think they are very gracious givers as well as recievers. The older ones save toys that they have that the younger ones just love and give them for Christmas. We do not take everyone to the store to get each other gifts, that would be time consuming and expensive. This way has worked for us and they just love it! We try to focus on the season and spend great family time together celebrating it and remind them that others in this time do not have many things needed to survive. I am giving the 7 year old $10 and my coupons and we are going to the store to purchase food for her school food drive. It's a great way for her to give plus learn how to get the most (price and nutrition) for her money. My husbands work helps women at a home for abused women and children and we as a family pick items off that list to provide.
We do not tell our kids there is no santa but we dont tell them there is, society does I guess. Christmas morning there is one of the bigger gifts under the tree that is not wrapped that they assume is from Santa. We have never lied to them and told them he is real or told them to be good because he wont give them anything. They know the santa in stores is not real that its for the "spirit" of the season.
None of this may be "right" or "wrong" but it has worked for us. I think that is the main thing, that it works for you, you can afford it and in the end everyone celebrates the reason for the season, joyfully!
Thanks great ideas. My older kids found out Santa does not exist but, I do not want them to ruin it for the youngest. Some of their friend's parents lost their job last X-mas and they got nothing at all. Do you think it is ok to send out cards when you get one from a person first because, it seems I send out more cards then I get and it can be costly?
We celebrate the feast of St Nicholas ( which is today, btw!) and my children know that this is the root of the story behind Santa. We do Santa lite at our house, and if anyone ever asks whether Santa is real, they are always told the truth, and told that this is a fun game that some parents play with their children, in the spirit of St Nick. Santa never brings more than one small gift per person, in honor of Jesus birthday. My kids go to public school and have been really good about not saying anything to the other children. Over the years I've noticed that many books/comic expose the real Santa anyway. ( Little House series, Calvin and Hobbes, just to name a couple)
We do St. Nicholas too. My kids are of the age they are skeptical. Although we've alway led them to believe in the Spirit of giving and not about the Coke-a-cola inspired red guy.
When I was growing up, I never believed in Santa as a real person, and never remember feeling left out about it either. We always focused on Jesus, advent and the nativity story. I was told the "real" story of Santa, and that other kids believed he was real, and that I should never tell them he wasn't. I do have a friend who, with their two children, will buy 3 gifts each for them from mom/dad, and one gift each for them from Santa. Growing up, I know that Mom/Dad spent (for each my brother and me) $100 at Christmas on gifts, $50 on birthday gifts, $100 for new school clothes, and we got one pair of "good" shoes for school (which usually cost around $35-$50), and that was it (unless we had a huge growth spurt at some other time during the year!). Other than things that we needed during the year for school, mom/dad usually didn't buy us anything that we just "wanted". I think that $600 per kid is way too much, whether you can afford it or not. Growing up, my parents gave us a $10 a week allowance (starting at age 10), where we had to tithe 10% and save 10% (until we got up to a certain dollar amount--and then it could be spent on a "big" item). I remember my mom's favorite saying, when I would say I wanted something was, "That's what your allowance is for"! Having an allowance really made me learn to budget my money, give back to God and others, and save for things I wanted. It taught me to take care of my stuff also, b/c I knew it wouldn't get replaced if I broke or lost it by being careless. I totally support giving kids gently used things for gifts, too, but that goes with my penchant for trying to save as much money on buying things, as well as helping to make less waste. I think volunteering as a family at a soup kitchen is a great idea to teach giving back to others to your kids at Christmas, too.
My husband and I are sticking to our budget, although generous this year. I usually make each one something special and homemade, but was unable to do that this year. We will get back to our usual next year....things have been very different this time around 🙂
In regards to Santa etc.......I have subscribed to this exact same line of thinking since my oldest was born and I was a single mom. I wanted her to know that I would never lie even if it was all just a game. That was very important to me. Also, I felt like it would make her question if God was real or not........since well she believed in other things and we all pretended it was real. So I elected not to lie/pretend. With that said, we do play Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy......it's fun to play....the kids don't miss a beat but they know the truth.
It was easy for me to make this decision because this is basically how i was raised.I always knew the truth. My siblings did not do the same as me with their kids...... so my oldest daughter always had to pretend when they were around. She thought it was hilarious and played along well 🙂
Kristen, I really loved this post and comments! While I don't have children yet, I am firmly in your camp in regards to Santa. I think to tell your kids Santa is real is lying and that does not fall in line with the values I want to teach my children. I also believe focusing on gifts for yourself is not what Christmas is about and I think focusing on the commercial Santa only fuels negative feelings rather than focusing on the joys of family and giving. I have often struggled with how to keep children from spilling the beans to other children and I'm glad to see that reminding them not to say anything actually seems to work! I'd not be heart-broken if other kids found out the truth, but I don't relish the idea of parents calling me to complain.
Most of my strong feelings about Santa come from being told at a very young age (I think before kindergarten, in the middle of the summer!) by my older cousin. I'm pretty sure she told me out of spite, which wasn't very nice on her part. When I went home and asked my father, he admitted Santa wasn't real. My parents have always stressed the importance of honesty and trust, so it was heartbreaking to find out my parents lied to me- especially about something as insignificant as a fictional character! I ended up crying and feeling very betrayed. I never want my children to feel those feelings, so nope, no Santa for my kids!
On the other hand, my brother believed in Santa until his mid teens. When my parents FINALLY let me tell him, he actually didn't believe me! It took a couple of conversations to make him believe that the Santa who visited our house every Christmas Eve was actually a family friend who dressed up as Santa professionally and that the gifts came from my parents! My mother was under the false impression that he had already figured it out, so boy was it a surprise to find out he still believed!
We don't with our daughter and have never regretted it! We firmly believe Jesus is the reason for the season!
We do Santa with our kids, but we've always peppered our celebration with little hints...for example when Santa arrives on Christmas Eve, it is usually while the boys are changing, and they can hear him come in the door from downstairs. Our older son, age 7, has already started to comment that Santa's voice sounds an awful lot like Uncle Stefan's, lol. We have never encouraged the writing of the letter to Santa, and in our house Santa brings one "whiz bang gift" and fills the stockings with a few treats. We also do things like donating toys to Toys for Tots at the local tv station every year, and tell the boys it is our job to help Santa, which opens conversation about helping others on a level dear to them. Additionally, we are a very geeky family, so this time of year we tend to read lots about Christmas traditions as celebrated throughout the world, including all the different legends, historical and religious figures such as St. Nicholas, and representations of Santa. Also of course we visit NORAD Santa tracker to learn a little geography, and discuss the scientific probability of whether Santa could really get to every house in one night. We've always treated Santa as more of a tradition and less a real person. On the literary front, one of our favorite movies now is "Polar Express" which I think is easing the transition of our 7 year old's belief in Santa, and also I always make a point to read the famous "Yes, Virginia..." editorial (sniff sniff.) I call it a transition of belief---I am 38 years old and I very firmly believe in Santa Claus. 🙂
Thanks for being such an inspiration. I'm glad I found your blog today. I've given up shopping and needless spending for one year and I sometimes find it difficult to find creative, fun, inexpensive ways to have fun with my family.
You are an inspiration!!!
you do santa/easter/tooth fairy exactly the way my mother did it when i was growing up. having grown up that way, i am doing it like that for my own children (even if my husband and i wanted to 'do' santa, i'd be pretty lost as to how to go about it!). we also do st. nick (this morning!), but my kids know it's from me and their gramma, and still have a wonderful time.
my middle child is fond of reminding me how much i owe him because i keep forgetting to do the tooth fairy. 🙂
"prefer to teach them to be content with less"...that and thinking of others are the gifts you will give them for a lifetime. well spoken!
What a timely post! Today is St. Nicholas Day. Every year we read the real story of St. Nicholas and his generosity. We also put out our shoes to be filled with candy coins that night.
We have the same philosophy as you do and our kids love to play the pretend game.
I am a bit mystified by the No Santa comments. I firmly believe the holiday should be focused on the birth of Christ. That is what it is all about. However, this idea that one doesn't want to tell their kids an untruth is a bit over the top in my view and rather sad for the kiddos. I can't think of a single peer who ever said to me that they learned not to trust their parents because there isn't really an Easter Bunny, Santa Clause or tooth fairy. Or that they felt violated and harmed by such untruths. I think we have to give children more credit for understanding the charm of the idea of make believe. We're not here to keep them fragile and sheltered from disappointment. The tradition adds excitement, mystery, fantasty, beauty and emphasizes goodness. There is nothing wrong with indulging in these traditions. I feel sad that our generation is so hung up on these types of worries.
As to budget- I think it has to be in context. If you are raising your children to be appreciative, thankful and aware of their blessings, there is no real need to spend a great deal of money. On the other hand, if there is a big gift that they really want and it enriches their lives, then we have no problem makign that an exception. Too many presents is overwhelming for them. We usually had one larger thing growing up- maybe two adn then several small things.
I have to say, I'm in agreement with you here. My parents did Santa for me, and when I have children I will certainly do the same. I don't feel like it was ever that much about the presents as it was about how EXCITING it was for "Santa" to come on Christmas Eve! And I NEVER felt like I couldn't trust my parents once I found out Santa wasn't real. I agree - let's give children a LITTLE credit here. They are not nearly as fragile as we think. And they have one thing we do not have - the ability to pretend and make-believe, which doesn't last forever! Taking that away from a child is not something I could ever see myself doing, but to each their own!
Excellent post!!
I enjoyed reading your thoughts here...we don't do more than $100 for our child however we do Santa Claus. Pictures, letter, etc. because we grew up with it as a fun thing and never thought about it as lying to our son. We focus mainly on Jesus and the reason for Christmas but he always gets a small gift from Santa and one from our dog, in addition to gifts from us...
I grew up with the Santa tradition, but when we had kids we decided not to. My main idea at the time was that the world would be busy making sure our kids had heard of Santa. But if we didn't teach them Jesus, who would? Jesus was just always our emphasis. My kids are now adults with their own families. One son does the Santa thing because it is part of his wife's tradition. The other son does not do the Santa thing. We are fine with both of their decisions.
I think it's cool what you're doing regarding Santa Clause with your kids. If I had ever had any, I'm not sure what I would have done. However, we kids did believe in Santa when we were young and I am so thankful about that. It made Christmases magical and I never ever thought my parents were untrustworthy. They showed us in so many other ways they were. But, then again, they never had us believing in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny, just Santa.
I am with Kristen on this one. My husband and I do not do Santa for a couple of different reasons. First off is because of our love for Jesus. We want our daughter to know what the true meaning of Christmas is. I have a number of friends that are a living wreck during the holidays because they are so worried that they wont get everything for everybody. We only have one daughter and even though she is an only child we do not treat her like one. On Christmas we usually spend somewhere between $50-75. I also like making candy and etc for extended family. The reason why we choose not to spend so much money is because we think that it helps her to appreciate more of the things that she does have. We also do not feel comfortable lying to our daughter about all the fictitious characters(Easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc..). She knows who the presents come from and what they represent. Because of this she knows that we wont lie to her and we never have to have the " But he isn't real and you lied to me" conversation. I had this conversation myself at five years old with my Mom, needless to say I was devastated. Now does my child ever spill the beans on there not being a Santa to other children? No. We told her that other parents choose to tell them that Santa is real. I tell her that it is their choice just like it is ours to not do it. I also tell her that it is our little secret that we have. She's six and so far she hasn't said anything. We get a lot of slack about this from some of our family. More so on my side since everyone in my family does Santa, where my husband did not grow up with it. We get told, " But she is going to miss out on the magic of Christmas". We feel that her savior and what he represents is magic enough in our house anytime of the year but especially during Christmas. We always have a blast in our family during Christmas time even without Santa. She still get's up early on Christmas morning to wake us up and unwrap those presents and have fun with Mommy and Daddy!
Hi Kristen,
I personally think that $600 per child is a problem, just for the future expectations of the child. Dave Ramsey spoke on the same thing and I like what he had to say also. http://www.daveramsey.com/specials/christmas-articles/article/how-much-should-we-spend-on-the-kids
Thanks.
It all depends on your entire lifestyle. If you're living in a two million dollar home, and your vacations are to Europe, then $600 per child may be just about right, or even too low. We spend $200 for our child's Chanukah gifts. Including that $200, we probably spend about $600 for all of our holiday giving combined--which is very much in line with our circle of family, and friends, and our overall lifestyle.
We SO agree with you completely!
With just a 1-yr-old and a 2-yr-old so far, we knew we didn't wanna do the whole Santa thing, since we try hard to follow Scripture, but had not articuluated it as wonderfully as you did, Kristen. We're saving your article for down the road. 🙂
I never believed in Santa as a child because I thought it wasn't logical that he could get to every house in the world in one night, and I thought the whole idea was kind of dumb. (I was a little different. Still am 🙂
As for our kids we just tried to de-emphasize Santa. I had more of a challenge with my oldest because his father and family (my ex) are very into Santa and everything that goes with it. So we tried to tell him about St. Nicholas, and how he was a real person that lived a long time ago. I can't remember if we neglected to tell him not to tell other kids that story, or if he just ignored that part. My child then decided to tell my niece that Santa died a long time ago. Can you say atomic bomb? My (current) sister in law was livid.
With my younger child, it was never a big deal. She knew Santa was a myth, but we also made sure to tell her not to tell other kids, that it was up to their parents to break the news to them. Lesson learned!
We have always emphasized how fortunate we are with our kids, and let them know that Christmas wasn't just about them. We participate in giving to others, and we don't do it just at Christmas. That's the best part. We also have downshifted in the last few years to where we do minimal decorating and shopping and fussing. Christmas has always been difficult for my oldest, which in turn, made it difficult for everyone. Less emphasis helps that situation.
Thanks for your interesting post. We did a bit of a mixture! My son knew that his main presents were bought and wrapped by mum and dad. For a short while he believed that santa brought him a pile of small and silly things that he was allowed to open when he woke up. Big presents had to wait until everyone was up. Santa even had his own wrapping paper 🙂
I give my kids three presents for Christmas every year. My sister gave me the idea (and truth be told, one of her friends gave it to her). Jesus received three presents from the wise men on the first Christmas (Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh) and so that is what my kids get too. We are a big "Jesus is the reason for the season" family, so I like this tie-in. But it also reins me in too. I get all excited and want to get everything for my girls. Knowing that I have a limit of three gifts really helps me hone in on giving things that are special.