And now I'm interviewing myself
Right now, I don't have any Meet a Reader submissions in my queue (if I missed yours, please comment and let me know!) so I thought, "hmm, maybe I should interview myself."
Because maybe there are some questions in this list that I haven't really covered before!
1. Tell us a little about yourself
Haha, I feel like most of you know everything I could say here, but I'll see what I can do.
I'm a 45-year-old mom of four kids (all adults except for the youngest; she will be 18 in about six months). I'm currently separated and walking through the divorce process.
Deleting a marriage can take a while, I'm learning. 😉
I start nursing school at the end of August, and once I graduate in the spring of 2025, I think I'd like to work with babies or children in some capacity in the hospital.
Pediatrics, NICU, and labor and delivery are my top choices right now, but who knows? I may change my mind!
My careers so far:
- 20 years of piano teaching
- 15 years of blogging
- 10 years as a church musician
- 17 years as a homeschooling mom
Obviously, I wore many of these hats at the same time; otherwise, I'd have to be 80+ years old or so to have done all this.
You all know so much about me from my blogging years so hmm, what could I tell you about pre-blogging Kristen?
- I always wanted to be a mom
- I'm a classically trained pianist
- I used to sew a lot of my own clothes
- I started baking bread when I was 12 or 13 and I've never stopped since!
- I cooked almost all the meals for my parents and siblings during high school (by my choice)
- I was an avid reader for all of my childhood
- I went to kindergarten at a private school but then was homeschooled until the end of high school
- I was a pretty mild kid and I usually did what I was supposed to do. Following the rules seemed like the easy route to me because rule-followers don't get into trouble. Want to be parented less? Do what you're supposed to do without being told. 😉
- As a teenager, I went to bed at 9:00 pm and got up at 5:00 am, by my own decision. I truly have never been a night owl.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
Ummm, since day one. I've read every single post. 😉
And since I usually proofread them before publishing, I've probably read each post multiple times. Good thing I'm a fast reader!
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I think I was born with an urge to save money and conserve resources. I can remember that even as a kid, I liked to use up the last of a bar of soap, despite the fact that I never paid for the soap myself.
I can remember loving to read stories of kids who rehabbed things or made do with a little (think the first book in The Boxcar Children, where they found discarded items and made a little home in a train boxcar).
Also, in a lesser-known Louisa May Alcott book, Jack and Jill, I can remember how a character was outfitting her room with discarded things that she found in the attic, making it into a cute and cozy place, and I remember being delighted by this.
In a funny way, my life has come to mirror these stories I found so enchanting as a child. I'm not hunting in an attic or a trash heap, but my current home is outfitted with things from the abandoned house and Facebook groups.
And while I would not have planned for this particular bend in my life path, I do find a lot of satisfaction in the way I have been able to cobble together a cozy home while spending almost no money.
Maybe I was built for this. 😉
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
At first, I wrote, "It's a necessity right now." And while that is true, it's more than that.
First, the necessity part:
I don't have tons of money, I'm paying for lawyer bills, and I'm going back to school full-time to get a degree so that I can eventually have a job with access to medical benefits.
This is not a recipe for monetary wealth. 😉
One day, I will have a "why" that sounds something more like, "I'm saving for retirement and financial independence!" or, "I'm saving up for a down payment on a house." or, "I'm building up a six-month emergency fund!"
But that is not my reality right now.
My "right now" is that I'm trying to stay out of debt.
Sometimes, I feel really, really discouraged about that, but then I try to remember that I will not be in this distressing state of limbo forever. This is temporary, even if it's a rather long sort of temporary.
Ok, that's the necessity part. But also, a lot of my efforts have been me trying to make a lovely life for myself and my girls.
It would be possible to serve the "necessity" part of frugality with very little effort.
I could:
- eat very simple, cheap foods
- own very few clothes
- have a bare-bones house with no decorations
- go without things like earrings and unnecessary black dresses 😉
- never travel anywhere
That would definitely keep me out of debt, but it also would suck some of the joy from my life.
So instead...
I rehab furniture and pick things up from the Buy Nothing group so that I can "feather my nest".
I use a credit card with airline rewards so that I can fly places for free. I stay in hotels for super cheap with my brother's discount.
I buy clothes on clearance and pick up jewelry from my Buy Nothing group so that I can have fun outfits for very little money.
I make my own bread and my own yogurt, and I cook a lot of things from scratch so that I can eat good meals for cheap.
I want to save money and stay out of debt AND I also want to have clothes, lovely food, and interesting experiences.
Frugality lets me meet both goals; yes to savings, no to deprivation. 🙂
5. What's your best frugal win?
Hmm. I've written about a LOT of my frugal efforts here, so I'm gonna think back to pre-blogging days.
When I was a teenager in the 1990s, I saved up $10,000.
This is kind of impressive when I think about it; I never had a high-paying job, but I did faithfully work as a teen and I saved almost every bit of money I made.
When I got married and moved out of my parents' house, I used that money to buy my piano.
I then used it to earn money for many years, by teaching piano lessons and also by using my piano skills to play for churches, weddings, funerals, and so on (owning a piano makes that possible because to play for those things, you need to be able to practice at home beforehand!)
I also deducted the cost of the piano from my self-employed piano-teacher taxes.
So, between the tax deduction and the fact that I used the piano to earn money, I earned my $10,000 back many times over.
I also think of the cost of my camera and lenses in a similar way. Because I used them for blog purposes, they have paid for themselves multiple times over as well.
I mean, I suppose it would have been possible to build a blog with a point-and-shoot camera.
But I know part of the appeal of my blog is the visual aspect, and I don't think the whole experience here would have been quite the same without my good camera gear.
6. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
Well, the first one that comes to mind is the time I broke my whole stovetop. But I already blogged about that! Heh.
A small pre-blog mistake I remember: the first time I ever got a credit card, I didn't understand how hard and fast the due date was. My previous experience had just been with paying a mortgage and a car payment, where there is a grace period.
So, I got a credit card just for the $25 welcome bonus (an awfully small bonus, now that I think about it), made a small charge on it, mailed the payment in a day late, and got hit with a $15 fee.
It hurt a little, but it wasn't the end of the world, obviously. And it was a pretty painless way to learn a lesson about how credit cards work.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Things that foster relationships.
I will spend money on traveling mainly if it's going to enable relational time.
I will pay for an experience or a fun class if it's going to be something I do with a person important to me.
I will pay for a puzzle or game if it's something I can do with others.
I will pay for a meal/coffee out if I can share it with people I love.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Like a lot of you, beauty-related stuff is not terribly tempting to me. This is not a holier-than-thou type of thing; it's more of a reflection of the fact that I am really pretty lazy when it comes to beauty habits.
Basically, the bar for me to be like, "Mmmm, no, that's too much work!" is very low.
I manage to do a pretty basic makeup routine, and I remember to put lotion on my face at night, but that's about it.
Sometimes I see people online using ten skin products before bed and I just know I would never keep up with that.
And same goes for a makeup routine; I fill in my eyebrows, use a little eyeliner, and sometimes use a bit of foundation or mascara. If I'm feeling really extra, I use a little eyeshadow, but that's every once in a blue moon.
In this case, my "I don't want to bother" attitude pays off because I spend very little on beauty products.
Ooh, I thought of another thing I don't splurge on: purses.
And again, it's an effort thing. I cannot be bothered to move my possessions from one purse to another all the time!
So, I have one purse and one wallet; they're both Kate Spade, both purchased at consignment stores for something like $25.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Easy; that would go toward legal expenses.
One day I will have a more fun answer than that. 😉
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
Easiest
Going back to what I said earlier, I find a lot of satisfaction in living a rich life on very little. I like that I know how to eat good food, have a beautiful home, wear nice clothes, travel, and own high-quality items while keeping my costs to a minimum.
A frugal life of deprivation would be sad to me, but I feel like my life is the opposite of that. I have things that are valuable; I just don't pay a lot for them!
Hardest
My answers are really of the "right now" variety. It's sometimes hard to feel like there is a point to all my frugal efforts because the legal bills are outpacing my efforts.
(I try to remember that the legal bills would be there anyway and that I am always better off by being frugal than I would be if I wasn't frugal! Frugality still minimizes the damage.)
Also, the state of financial limbo I'm in is hard. It will be much more rewarding to be frugal when the fruits of my efforts are truly all mine.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
Since I live in a pretty heavily populated suburban area, I have access to almost every store you can imagine. This means it's very easy to pop in to pick up deals and freebies without spending much gas or time.
Similarly, there's a lot of inventory on Facebook Marketplace and Buy Nothing groups, so it's not hard to find free or cheap things close by.
We have a good library system here, and there are lots of free parks and hiking trails, but based on what you all say, these things are pretty common all over the U.S.!
___________________
Annnnnd that's the end of my interview with myself. I hope maybe you learned a little something new about me. 🙂
So impressive having saved up $ 10.000 as a teenager! Mind blowing also how that money earned you so much more money!
@Lea, I am very impressed, too! Great job, Kristen!!
I really appreciate your post as it is a different frugality story than the typical "save 70% as a software engineer and retire at 35" ones, aka way more realistic, down-to-earth and thus approachable. Great that you do not forget to point out that it is important and also possible to enjoy life NOW while not having much to spend.
Also: Your story shoes that having a passion AND pursuing it - in your case/interview playing the piano, photography and blogging will pay for itself and will bring you lots of dividents financially but most importantly contentement and happiness.
True, true...and same goes for nursing!
I was always the teacher's pet in school because I was always the smartest kid, but I was the defiant pest at home who broke the rules. My three sibs were easier going. As an adult, I'm the one assigned to Tell Things to other members of the family.
Somehow I managed to get two mini me's and no rule followers when I had kids. Figures, right?
@Rose, I have a rule follower, but he’s of the black/white, rigid thinking variety, which poses challenges of its own.
Someone has to be the Teller of Things in a family!
How wonderful to get to know you even better! Thanks for sharing.
I like that your frugal wins were of the "investment" variety.
Thank you for being the "Meet a Reader." As a new reader this year to your blog, I appreciate getting to know you more. I really appreciate this blog. I'm working on the balance of frugal living - not the cheapest living possible, but a frugal one. Your blog with the comments is really helpful.
Aww, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
I also am willing to splurge if it fosters relationships. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Thanks for the insight!
I enjoyed getting to know you more. Lovely, thoughtful answers.
I appreciated this entire post, and I especially enjoyed the illustrated looks back at younger--sometimes much younger--Kristen! Thank you.
So glad you enjoyed it!
I think I've sent an email for a reader interview. If not, happy to participate.
Thanks for sharing your interview!
You have been freshly emailed!
Yes, the $10,000 as a teenager is stunning. Are your parents aware they got at least one perfect kid?
Haha, well, they could tell you that I'm not perfect. 😉 But my mom would tell you, "Kristen never caused a problem."
That has its downsides (hello to the habit of being a doormat, a skill that set me up for problems in my marriage), but I can definitely imagine that having an easygoing kid makes parenting a little easier.
I've been reading your blog for quite a while, and it was nice to read a "refresher" on your version of frugal living and why. There are so many different whys out there, and we can all benefit from hearing someone else's point of view, and pick up some tips too!
I'd be interested in doing a meet-the-reader post, but not until things calm down at work later this year. I just entered my super busy season and would not be able to give it the proper attention it needs right now.
No rush! Just shoot me an email when you're ready. 🙂
@Kristen, will do!
Ha, this was unexpected, but a good idea!
I'm amazed that you could save that much money as a teen, as well. I'm also a little envious. My dad had to work (during summers and after school on family farms and in a little family general store, simultaneously) from the time he was eight years old, so he banned the siblings and I from working while we were in school. My parents couldn't afford allowances for us, so I was always broke, and I hated that. We sometimes got birthday or Christmas money from relatives, and we would hoard that and prioritize how to spend it. I think letting your child work, as long as schoolwork isn't neglected, is really the best way to go, so good for your parents. It's amazing that you were already so tuned into your frugality that you saved, rather than blew, that money!
Thanks for the "prequel" to The Frugal Girl. That was fun!
@JD, My sister and I babysat a lot. Our favorite family was the one who paid us a fortune per hour, plus tips, plus they had cable so I could watch MTV. (This was 1982ish.) Whoever answered the phone got the job, so we would sometimes fight for the phone.
I also used to paint signs, back in the day when hand painted signs were still a thing. But all the money I earned went on clothing and makeup.
In some ways it's amazing to me how casual parents were then. My first babysitting job was when I was 12 and I brought two children to the beach on my own. The little girl wasn't potty trained, so, um, there was a mess in her bathing suit. I guess I figured it out though. Another time, I was 13 and left with a baby. I guess because I had younger siblings they figured I would know what to do? I didn't. I had to call my mom and figure out how to change a diaper.
I also used to tutor adults getting their GEDs in math. After one session, I wanted to call my mom to come pick me up but the young couple didn't have a phone, so I walked a couple miles. I guess I was equal to all the problems I faced, after all.
@Rose, Your post made me smile. I am the oldest (eldest?) of six. I say I've been babysitting my whole life. I started babysitting in our cul-de-sac well before I was twelve. Once I turned twelve, I branched out. I babysat for other neighbors, church friends, and people my Dad worked with. Because of all the siblings, I never had trouble changing diapers, lol!
A favorite story is the time I was scheduled to babysit all day for colleague of my Dad's, who had moved way across town. The Dad and the two-year-old-picked me up fairly early in the morning. As we drove along the freeway, the little boy excitedly pointed out every truck he saw. Except he hadn't quite mastered the "tr" sound, so he used "f" instead. I thought it was freaking hilarious and tried not to smile, but the poor Dad was dying of embarrassment. I saw the Dad last at my Dad's Memorial Service. The story instantly came to mind, but I decided to simply enjoy the chuckle inwardly and give him a big hug. The two-year-old is a grown man now.
Kristen, thanks for a peek into your world. I'm a long time reader and remember many of those tidbits, but it's nice to see them all pulled together with different pictures.
@Rose,
So true Rose. This brought back memories. I was 14 in the mid 70's and one hot August night I babysat 6 kids under the age of 6!! - cousins. Multiple families who all thought they could just pile on the same babysitter. I was 14!. Two 6, two 5/4, a 3, and one barely over 1! It was a crazy evening! as they first played on the front lawn, and later at bed time asked me where's my dolly? / I need some water / When is my mom coming home? The going rate was $1.00/$1.50 an hour. I kept them all safe, tucked them into bed, got them what they needed. Another time I babysit for my favorite family - two well behaved kids 10 and 8, but also their friend's one month old baby!!! I was 14.
"[U]nnecessary black dresses"! I beg your pardon! That $19 little black dress was THE MOST NECESSARY thing you could have bought. Please. Get your priorities straight, woman!
@JDinNM,
I agree!! That black dress was a steal, and looks perfect on you, Kristen!
@JDinNM,
Agree! It's a simple, classic style that can be worn in many situations! With or without layers, and changing up the accessories will give plenty of options!
@Liz B., Right? It looks like $1,000,019.
Heh, this made me laugh!
This makes me feel really terrible but when you said four kids it made me pause and remember that yes, you do have four. I hope that things will improve in that situation someday if they haven't already.
I'm generally a rule follower as well, or was as a kid for the most part. Somehow it would make me end up in more trouble in the rare case that I did break the rules or fell below standards because "of all people, [I] should know better than that!." Of course my childhood and my relationship with my family is quite weird and could probably fill many therapy sessions.
@Battra92,
Oh my gosh, yes!! That was me as well. I will never forget when I was in the 7th grade, and one of my classes went on a field trip. For some reason, I didn't eat all of my packed lunch, which was in a "fancy" decorated paper bag with my full name on it. I ate the rest of it on the walk home from school at the end of the day, and carelessly dropped the bag on the school field (again, nit sure why I did this....I was not a litter bug then, or now). Well, of course the bag was found by whoever mowed the field, and was turned into the principals office....I was then called to the principals office the next school day, and asked how the bag ended up in the field. I'm sure I stammered out some lane excuse, and promised never to do it again. I was given the punishment of picking up trash the next day, which I did, and turned in my trash bag to the secretary....who never told the principal I had done my duty. Every time after that, whenever I saw the principal (in the hallway, for example), he would ask me if I had done my assignment. It was mortifying to shy, socially awkward me, to be reminded of this *one time* I had broken a "rule". I was so very happy when I moved on to high school. 😉
I'm sure it's still on my permanent record. Lol.
@Liz B., My son decided on the last day of middle school he was going to instigate a food fight. (Yes, we'd recently watched "Animal House" together.) SIGH. I guess he figured since it was the last day, they couldn't punish him, right?
He was suspended from school for an entire year. Half the year, he had lessons at our local library from tutors, which he loved. It was about two hours a day, tops. He made high honor roll for the first and last time in his life. Then the second half of the year, they let him attend classes but he was on probation. That kid had to break every rule possible.
@Rose, suspended from school for a year for a food fight???? Holy moly, did he go to school in North Korea?
That's interesting how it can backfire a bit that way, but I can definitely see how that could happen!
I always thought I was a rule follower but too many times found out I had made my own rules. I was in the principal’s office so many times from grade school to graduation they just put me to work delivering messages and answering phones. The principal and office people liked me and were glad for the extra help.
It was good to hear your current answers to the questions. Probably everyone’s answers would change a bit as we go through various seasons of life. And yes, this difficult time is just a season for you! Brighter days ahead!
I had admired your handbag because it's the same style I like and then priced it new online and swooned. Doing a happy dance to know you got it very affordably from consignment.
Yep! $25, thanks to Lisey's shopping skills. 🙂
@Kristen, your girls are multi-talented (like their mom).
Continuing to cheer you on! So appreciate your blog and all I've learned from it over the years.
All best as you move toward your happy future!
Nancy
I love this! That was super fun to read. I am curious what credit card do you use for airline points? I have considered that.
I use the Southwest Rapid Rewards card!
The attorney fees are, I'm sure, heart-stopping right now but they are an investment in receiving a fair settlement that reflects your years of hard work and value brought to your marriage. Here's to hoping your investment results in justice.
I was so happy to see you mention writing off the piano on your self-employment taxes because that told me that you were filing taxes (of course you were) on income that far too many private lesson music teachers take either entirely or in part under the table. You already know this but for the benefit of readers who may be in the same position, while choosing not to report self-employment income may seem frugal in the short term - lower taxes! - it is not only fraudulent, but foolish and the opposite of frugal in the long term.
After nearly forty years of teaching private music lessons myself, I am acutely aware of how much paying Schedule C taxes can hurt; paying both parts of Social Security is a LOT, and that's in addition to the usual federal income tax. But here are the benefits: (1) you can use income that is reflected in tax returns to qualify for loans, leases, etc, while under-the-table income might as well not exist; (2) higher Social Security benefits down the road (I know, I know....I'm an optimist); (3) a clear conscience; (4) no fear of being audited beyond the extremely reasonable aversion to the inconvenience.
Wishing you all the best.
Yep, I've always filed taxes for all of my self-employment income. It's pretty painful, but like you, I'd rather do the right thing and follow the law!
I so relate to your love for children's rehab literature! I love those too. As an adult, I got started reading old Grace Livingston Hill romance novels. Most of them don't capture me. They are often predictable. But once in a while I will find a "rehab" story where a character (or a lot of times a family) will be in a situation where money is tight, and they have to make over an old barn or a shabby house to something beautiful. They inspire me!
Hi, I think I have sent you an mail asking for the "meet-a-reader-form". 🙂
Oh man, I'm sorry I missed it! I just emailed you.
Bless you!! You rock! And you introduced me to Aldi, a debt I can never repay!!
I watched a girl on TikTok last night, put like 8-10 products on her face (in a get ready with me video). My skin is sensitive so I could never do all that, I think it would melt off, lol
I started living frugally the minute I got married as a very young woman. My Dad was a happy go lucky guy but he. was sooo bad with finances, he went through 2 bankruptcies and I learned a lot from those experiences. I never wanted to live like that,ever.
I married a man whose family was frugal, with 4 boys to raise and one salary, my mother in law was an expert!! I learned a LOT from her.My father in law could fix anything and he taught all 4 boys!!
Over the years, my husband and I got great jobs, but our frugal ways persisted and we always lived beneath our “means” and saved. Now that we are retired, we’re still ‘experts” at living well on less. I find it a fun “hobby” to find things at consignment stores, to refurbish old stuff, and to get the most out of simple pleasures! Like you, we spend money on experiences,mostly.
I love to cook, and the price of restaurant food is appalling right now! AND the food is never as good as what I can make at home.COOKING is a very frugal hobby! I don’t scrimp too much at the grocery since we don’t go to restaurants.If I want a nice piece of salmon, we get it!
My makeup routine is also simple, the few skin care products I use come from trader Joe. I use Cera Ve moisturizer on the advice of my dermatologist, but I get the walmart brand and it’s great. I do love clothes, but have 2 favorite consignment stores that are always well stocked and run 50% off sales regularly. ANd I love the summer shorts from Walmart, ($10) and the tee shirts I bought there this year too. ($6.00)
The library provides me with all my reading material and my husband and I hike local parks and mountains, and go swimming for free in the Salt river nearby.
Life is good.
You will find that once you hit nursing school, TIME WILL FLY BY (I am a retired nurse)—and you will SOON be in a well paying job you will LOVE! So your finances will be taking an INCREDIBLE TURN FOR THE BETTER pretty soon!! You will also be so tired from school work,clinical,careplans, home work, and keeping up your home, that you will not notice much else for a while!! Nursing school was one of the happiest times of my life! And THEN, I got to work a good job right after!!! YOU WILL TOO!!
Yes, I am sure nursing school is gonna keep me VERY busy!
I am cheering you on! I went to nursing school as an older adult, kids were driving and semi-independent. There were 3 over 30 adults in my graduation class! Because of life experiences, I knew what I wanted to specialize in, you are steps ahead knowing that you want to work in neonatal units. As far as the d-i-v-o-r-c-e (can't help but hear Tammy Wynette) that too shall pass. Been there, got the t-shirt, found true love after the healing and you will too!
I am mentoring a friend going thru this and she just needs to be reminded that she is a strong, professional, incredibly beautiful and smart. When he goes low, hold your head up and know that you are above all of it. Powerful barbs and piercing attacks cannot touch your armour. Defense with grace (you can always scream into a pillow later or take a walk) I personally like to do hard labor - scrubbing, flinging - cleaning out the barn stalls...etc.
I am also of the mind that budgeting for experiences or travel for enriching relationships is high on my list of priorities. I am not afraid to work on a project (painting exterior of the house), fixing fences and installing a driveway gate myself to save for a family camping trip next month. The house painting will save 5k, I just about croaked at the estimate!
Oh yeah, $5000 is nothing to sneeze at. That's an awesome savings!!
Wonderful reintroduction. I loved every word. Stay the course with the hard things. You can do anything!!!
I love your childhood pics of yourself! Thanks for sharing!
You are amazing!
Hey Kristen -- actually, I'm glad you didn't have another profile waiting. I learned a lot about your 'past life' that I did not know. (Husband and I also have played piano for funerals, weddings, etc...although it's usually me that's done it. I also teach piano now and then -- starting in part because I hoped to encourage kids to take my place on worship team. I never charged much, and swapped occasionally for other things we needed. Like haircuts.)
I never heard of JACK AND JILL before! But you can get a free digital copy right now through Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Jack-Jill-Louisa-May-Alcott-ebook/dp/B0084AZYQ8/ref=sr_1_13?crid=258EF8JA0JDTR&keywords=jack+and+jill+louisa+may+alcott&qid=1690222902&sprefix=Jack+and+Jill+Louis%2Caps%2C361&sr=8-13
You can tell Louisa had to make do a lot. Her CHRISTMAS COLLECTION is one of my favorites:
https://www.amazon.com/Alcott-Christmas-Collection-Country-Excerpts/dp/B08NS9J18N/ref=sr_1_12_sspa?crid=258EF8JA0JDTR&keywords=jack+and+jill+louisa+may+alcott&qid=1690222977&sprefix=Jack+and+Jill+Louis%2Caps%2C361&sr=8-12-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGY&psc=1
These current uncertainties will pass. They will. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Aww, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I wish I had worked more as a teenager and saved more. My son is working his way through college all by himself, and I'm so proud of him because it's not an insignificant amount since he's not going to community college first. He's working SO. MANY. HOURS right now, but I try to remind him that it's just for now.
love this post. you are so clever. i wish you nothing but happiness and smooth sailing.
Kristen, I think we all come here because of you (although Rose sure livens things up!) so getting more about you personally is fun. OF COURSE we are here for the frugal tips, but if they were offered by a robot or someone with an abrasive personality, most would probably abandon the blog.
Thanks for introducing us to "Jack and Jill" (and thank you @Cindy Brick, for the Amazon Kindle link) I also loved the Boxcar Children (and secretly wanted to be an orphan).
About your remembering to put lotion on at night, I am impressed with your discipline. Lotion at night sounds like a hassle, which with all the washing, etc. At night I look in the mirror, think, "Nope, doesn't look dirty to me", and then go to bed.
In the '90s I saved for several years and then bought a Coach purse. It remains my only purse to this day. (And I bought my wallet in 1979, a "surfer" wallet while in college in Sandy Eggo.)
And that's why I'm not worried that AI will take over my job. Blogs are fun because of people's personalities!
@Central Calif. Artist, Katy over at the Non-Consumer Advocate recently did an experimental blog post written by AI. As everyone noted, it was definitely and absolutely not-Katy.
@A. Marie, I sure hope that those with the power to shove AI into our lives will use some cowboy logic before ruining everything. Ugh.
I'm not sure if you know this so I'll say it. When Mr FG files for Social Security you will be entitled to receive half as much as he does minus whatever you have on your own SS. That helps those of us who stayed home while married.
Thank you!
@Linda Sand, They did away with that benefit years ago. I looked as I have been a SAHM/homeschooling mom for 17 years.
Please correct me if it has been re-instated.
@April, My recently divorced aunt just went through this to get access to her social security. Here is a link to the SSA website that gives more information. 🙂
https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10044.pdf
I LOVED the original Box Car Children book and never gave much thought as to why. Thanks for the insights.
I am sure I am not alone in looking forward (with much anticipation) to the day you are able to announce that your “legal” journey has reached a (satisfactory) conclusion and you can start a new chapter.
We are all cheering you on.
Well, getting divorced is soul crushing and expensive. But you'll make it through to the other side. I did. It's been 5 years and now I'm engaged to wonderful man but no immediate plans to take that trip to the alter again.
Kudos to you for going to nursing school. You will be GREAT!
I try to be frugal but I have a lot of old kitties and an old dog. Lots of vet visits and meds. I cut back on other areas and it all works out.
As a kid, I loved the Boxcar Children tooo!!! No ne ever talks about them any more but we had the whole series (the originals ) that my grandparents found at a used bookstore or auction--My dad read them aloud to me before bed--
Someone has probably mentioned this already, Kristen, but it is impossible to “delete a marriage.” You’re lucky that your kids are pretty much beyond needing child support payments, problems with which can double or triple your legal bills. You loved him, you built a life together, and now you’re not working toward a future together. It was, and now it isn’t. You had great joys and tremendous sorrow. I have a friend who divorced her husband 20 years ago; she was surprised by how much sorrow she felt when he died last year. She said that he was the only person who would really remember when the kids were little and how they grew.
I don't think I meant the phrase perhaps as seriously as you are taking it; I was mainly trying to bring a little light-heartedness to a topic that feels pretty heavy.
I am thankful that my children are almost all adults now; it is a perk of having stayed for so long. If I could go back, I would not make the same choice again to stay for so long, but since I am already here, I might as well be thankful for the upsides of it.
I am sorry to hear of your friend's loss; it sounds like she was blessed to have had an ex who was a good father, so it makes sense that she would grieve that.
@Kristen,
Thank you for the explanation. I also found it rough language. Deleting him means deleting your four children too. My parents are divorced, and I'm still glad they married because otherwise I would not be here. I'm also thankful that mom stayed until I was 15. (She was the problem, not Dad, though, but she is the one who left.)
very nice informative interview, good job
I would like to answer the Meet the Reader questions if you would be so kind to send them.
So fun to hear your answers to these questions and hear more about your background. I'll do a meet-a-reader! 🙂
This was great. You continue to inspire and encourage me. So thankful for all you do here!
You said you have four children? I know you write about three girls very often but I don’t remember a fourth? Hope it’s ok to ask this.
I do. The oldest one is currently estranged (not by my choice or desire), so that's why the general absence.
Orange growing tips and pics would be nice as yours looks so cool! Just bought a small lime tree at Walmart on clearance for kicks so we will see how this experiment goes!
I don't have any good tips to share other than that I try to make sure it has adequate sunlight, and I put it in a sunny window over the winter. It spends summers outside!
I did buy some citrus fertilizer spikes this spring for that and also for my lemon tree, but it's too early to see the effects of those, probably.
Obviously I have no desire to delete my children; I just want to be free of the marriage.
A thought for you and me and Jean and really everyone...I think that all of us who have been touched by divorce can remember that our situation is not necessarily the same as other's.
For example...
Some children are glad their parents stayed together; some children desperately wish that one parent had left sooner.
Some people are bad spouses but not bad parents; some people are rather abject disappointments in both regards.
Some people are healthy people but are just not a good fit for each other, whereas some people are dysfunctional and would not be a good fit for any healthy human.
Some people's marriages had a lot of good parts to look back on fondly; some people have trouble searching through their memories to find even a handful of good parts.
Some people can be friends with their ex-spouses; some people have been too traumatized for that to be possible.
Some people are able to work things out amicably; some people cannot navigate a divorce without the help of attorneys.
There are just so many variables to each situation, and no one can really know the ins and outs of a person's marriage/divorce unless they're inside of it.
@Kristen, very well stated. This is why you have such a successful blog —clear, non-judgey, straightforward explanations.
It sounds like it's still in place in some states, but with particular rules, like that you have to be 62 or older. It's definitely something a local attorney would be able to answer.
@Kristen, buckle up, because 62 comes FAST!