Answers to your abandoned house questions!
If you follow me on social media, particularly on Instagram, you've seen that I have been busy cleaning up bins of dishes that my sister-in-law and I rescued from an abandoned house.
Multiple readers have wondered, "What is the story behind this house?"
So, since I don't have any Meet a Reader posts in the queue (feel free to volunteer!), I figure I'd use today's post to answer the most common questions I get about the house.
Why did your brother buy this house?
Well. He is such a whiz at home-buying; he owns several houses that he rents out, and he is always keeping an eye on the housing market around here.
So, when this very cheap house popped up only two streets over from his current house, he snapped it up. He's going to gut it, remodel it, and then rent it out.
Since it's so close to his own house, it's going to be very easy to keep an eye on it; it's a perfect location!
Why was the house abandoned?
We haven't pieced together the whole story, but here's what we think happened.
At one time, a married couple seems to have lived there, but about 15 years ago, there was a divorce (I came across the papers when I was cleaning out drawers over there.)
After that, it appears that the woman in the marriage lived in the house on her own, and several years ago, she died.
For reasons unknown to us, no one did anything significant with the house after this woman's death.
We can tell she had children, based on photos on the walls in the house, but maybe they live far away and couldn't come take care of it.
It does look like someone tried to start cleaning it out the house, but they quit pretty shortly after starting; we can see several areas where things are partially sorted into boxes.
Why did the house finally go up for sale?
As I understand it, some kind of tax bill was finally coming due for the property, so then the family just put it up for sale as-is; they probably figured that was a better option than paying taxes for a house no one is living in.
Why is everything in the house so dirty?
This is kind of a mystery to me! I know that dust settles on things as a house sits, but so many things in this house are more than just dusty.
My nose tells me that this was a home that was smoked-in, so I think that is part of the issue.
The smoke residue is probably what left the sticky brown residue on the dishes, and then the dust really stuck to that residue.
Why is there so much stuff in the house?
Based on some of the things we've found in the house, it seems like the homeowner may have struggled with some type of mental illness.
I know people who are facing mental health challenges often find themselves unable to maintain order in their homes, so I am wondering if that's why this house is just stuffed to the gills with...stuff.
As we've cleaned out the house, my sister-in-law and I have felt a lot of compassion for this lady; it seems like she led a rather lonely life, in a house that could have used a LOT of repairs.
I like to think that she would be happy if she knew we were taking good care of the things she left behind. 🙂
How are you cleaning all of this stuff?
Mostly with just soap, water, and elbow grease!
Right: washed
I have thrown some of the sturdier dishes into the dishwasher, but some of it really needs hand-washing, like the china with metallic accents.
And some of the kitchenware is old enough to predate automatic dishwashers, so I hand wash those things.
Is any of this stuff valuable?
Not really. There's definitely nothing that was expensive initially; anything in this house that has value is simply valuable because of its age.
As we work through the bins of these dishes, I keep wondering how she came to own all of these.
There's SUCH a random assortment of things; various pieces of mismatched china, some usual household dishes like Corelle Ware, some pieces that are definitely from a restaurant (like super thick plates and mugs), and more.
I am sure there are interesting stories that go with these dishes, but alas, they'll have to remain a mystery.
What are you going to do with all these dishes?
We have found some really interesting and beautiful things in our treasure hunts, and we are keeping some of those. As you might imagine, Sonia's vintage-loving self has squirreled away a number of things for her future household.
And I gave a whole toolbox full of tools to Lisey; she was delighted!
We may sell some of the things online, and whatever we don't want to sell or keep, we will donate.
My sister-in-law and I just hate to see useful things go to waste, so as long as these dishes make it into the hands of someone who will love and appreciate them, we are happy. 🙂
We are in our mid-sixties and have been working on cutting down on the amount of stuff that we own. We are blessedly in good health and have no plans to move in the near future but we want the transition to be easier when the time comes.
We have long time neighbors that are moving to a retirement community soon and they have been working, with the help of family and friends, for many weeks to disburse stuff. They will finish cleaning out the house after the move as she has dementia and is an impediment to the disposal of goods. Their house has been pretty well maintained over the years.
We have additional long time neighbors that are planning to move to another state next year. They have a big old house and she told me it will take them a while to prepare for the move. Their house is in excellent condition.
@K D, Yep, we are in the same boat. One difference we wanted to downsize into a smaller home but do to the housing market situation we are staying put in our tradional/familiy home where we raised our children.
But that does not matter I am still am downsizing, giving away and purging like I have moved to a smaller home. In case the housing market changes I will be ready. And in the meantime I get to live with less stuff in a cleaner home.
Oh, and I have told my DD and DDIL if they want anything they see in my house please tell me. Or if they are going to buy anything ask me first if I have one to give them. Actually over the years I have been pleasantly surprised how they ask and I have the item to give them.
Good morning from NYC. I wish I was frugal enough to be featured on your Monday series ( I know I am not), but absolutely love to read it every Monday, as well as all you post. I am shy to comment. I tend to over analyze everything I write. As many readers have said before me, your blog is such an inspiration! You are kind and generous. In this case, not only you are find treasures and recycling, but felt understood the difficulties the person in the house may have had to keep the house in order. And I have to mention, the frugal writer from last Monday, said she would use some the extra $1000 to take the horse to see her friends in the country melted my heart!
@Patricia, I'm not frugal and I was there! I'm trying to be more frugal.
@Patricia, id be happy to hear from your non-frugal self. Your here and inspired by frugality! We’re All at different places in our journey, I’m not a super frugal one here Either but I’m learning and growing! I was not born into a frugal house(es) but my grandparents were depression era and I learned a lot from them, subconsciously. I think we can all learn from the different levels and places we are At!
@Patricia, I too want to encourage you to participate in Meet the Reader. We all started somewhere & the fact that you read Frugal Girl shows an interest in frugality. I'm the same about overanalyzing what I write. Since I'm pushing you in that direction, I suppose I should do the same myself.
@Patricia,
I love this blog too but am not too frugal. I want to downsize myself and am looking for inspiration!
My first thought when I saw the pictures of the kitchen were "that looks like my mother's house" and I can tell you why it looks that way. My (probably autistic) mother just turned 92 and is fiercely determined to continue living independently. She injured one eye and the other doesn't work so well, so she simply can't see the mess around her, let alone dust and dog hair and dirt...And since she lives alone, and was never a good housekeeper, she doesn't clean her home until she feels like it. Which is not often. She will let one of us girls come and do a few things for her, but she lives and hour and a half away. Things don't stay clean for long and we aren't able to do enough in a short visit to make any big progress on the house anyway. She has chickens and a dog and a garden and she tracks dirt and leaves and God knows what else through the house every day. She doesn't sweep or mop often if at all. The house is packed to the gills with china and art and antiques and quilts and junk mail and magazines and rugs...its going to be a nightmare to sort through one day.
@gina,
I was also in a similar position. My MIL lived on her own until she was 95. She had macular degeneration and could not tell that things were dirty. Thank goodness that she received a nice pension, and my husband convinced her to hire a family friend who had a housekeeping business. She came once a month to mop, vacuum, dust and clean the bathroom. It could have used it much more often, but it did help.
@gina,
I also want to encourage people faced with an enormous clean out to consider hiring an estate liquidator or other specialist.
Most estate liquidation services come into the home, sort the contents, and clear out everything. Some companies will hold an estate sale and/or send the items to auction. They receive a commission on the items sold in turn for their services. Others will offer you a buy out and clear the home. Often, there are items of value hidden amongst the clutter. Of course, in some circumstances, it is best just to rent a dumpster and go to work.
@Bee,
This is exactly what my husband did when his mom passed. She lived in NC, we live in CO, and even with the weekly help she had, she had that place packed to the gills with old magazines, lamps, sheets, etc. My husband got the stuff he wanted and let the estate liquidator handle all the rest. It was the best decision we could have made!
@Julie,
Sometimes logistics make it difficult to clear a home. Some times the job is just too big for one or two people. Sometimes people are unorganized or unmotivated. However, sometimes emotions make the process very difficult for some. The overwhelming sense of loss that accompanies the death of a loved one often makes it difficult for an individual to part with the personal belongings of those they love.
BTW, I think that it lovely, Kristen, that you are treating these things with love and respect. I’m sure the were once very special to someone. These things have a history if only the could talk.
My mother told me that when I (the baby of the family) left home for college, she felt lost. Because my father was a truck driver and only home for 1 or 2 days (usually the weekend), she was mostly alone. The nest was empty. Around the same time, she started going to yard sales. She didn't really need anything, but she often bought things because they were pretty and "just 10 cents." She felt a sense of accomplishment in such great deals. She filled the house to the point of clutter but short of hoarding. Then she started buying for other people. When I had children, she bought most of their clothes at yard sales. I was quite thankful for that. Perhaps the lady of this abandoned house suffered loss and filled the hole with pretty things?
Like KD, we are trying to downsize too. Well...I'm trying to downsize, prying every last bit of junk out of hubby's hands. He's a pack rat.
I gently remind him when we go shopping that we don't need any more clutter. If it's not immediately useful, we don't need it.
I, on the other hand try to plan ahead. If I should predecease him I want him to stay safe and not roam around in a giant house he can't handle by himself. I even wrote him a list of things to do if I died first. https://www.mariazanninihome.com/2019/02/what-to-do-after-i-die.html
When I see pictures of the kind you posted I feel sorry for whoever was left alone. I'm glad you made use of what she left behind.
@Maria Zannini,
Your What To Do After I Die post is wonderful. I am going to create my own version of it. Thank you for sharing.
@Maria Zannini,
That is the best idea I have ever seen. I am going to leave a list for my family, that way I know they’ll be ok. I have already told them all the things I am giving them when they start their own lives. They are 19 almost 20, 18, and 14 almost 15. It’s just around the corner.
My husband as well is a pack rat. We had been planning to move. The kids and I got rid of so much stuff. My husband got rid of a literal few papers and some clothes. My oldest son is similar but recently was convicted to get rid of a few things, or at least move a few things around. It’s a step in the right direction, I hope. My husband’s mother was a hoarder. He definitely has tendencies towards that. I think it’s a sense of comfort for him.
@K D, I keep two files on my computer, one for my husband and one for my nearest best friend in case hubby and I are both killed. I want to make sure someone is there to take care of my pets.
I also have a sealed written set of instructions for my best friend and my executor so they can find all the information necessary for a smooth transition.
@Gina, check out what I mentioned to KD. Since we live far away from family, I've left detailed instructions for my closest friend. She acts as a stop gap until my niece/executor can carry out the rest of our will.
This (I hope) is our final home, but I would like to declutter it now in case we ever have to move to a smaller home in a city.
@Maria Zannini, that made me cry, its a wonderful idea and a precious gift to your husband. Alot more people need to think and prepare for death. It is the one thing in life that is guaranteed for everyone. Having plans and making them know to your loved ones can ease so much trouble and heartache.
@Yolanda, at a certain point in our lives we have to think about it, more so if you have kids, but any time you leave someone behind. It's one last kindness you can leave behind.
Some of that is grocery store china from the 1970s: I spy my mother's china pattern, which she got that way. It does look like the owner was going to yard sales or thrift shops and picking up pretty things for pennies. Those are social outings for people of limited means.
So grocery stores used to routinely sell china? That's so funny to me!
@Kristen, Yes! I have a Pyrex Cinderella bowl that I believe was a promotion from the grocery store back when my mother was setting up housekeeping.
@Karen, I have the Blue Willow set for my everyday dishes (they came from Winn Dixie!) Also some of the old “pink rose florals” came fin sacks of flour and they also had tea glasses in packs of tea bags. Those are worth quite a bit now!
@Kristen, yes, they would have a big display and feature the dish of the week. You could also buy nice stainless flatware. It was quite the thing in towns not big enough to have department stores. My mother bought a whole set of lovely china with a silver trim and a pink rose feature that was made in Japan. She also bought a set of everyday stoneware with cool harvest gold, avocado green and burnt orange flowers on it in the '70s. I see pieces of it selling on eBay as vintage for nice prices.
I wound up selling her china to Replacements Ltd. when I needed to buy a washing machine years ago. I really had no use for something so delicate that had to be washed by hand.
@Kristen, Yes. That's where my mom's "good china" which is now very collectable came from. Liberty Blue is the pattern. I sold it all for her on eBay.
(I once went home with a wealthy friend from college. our "good" china was their everyday china.)
What's more, back in the day movie theaters handed out dishes to encourage patrons. My great grandmother used them for her rental cottage. They were called Dish Nights.
Click here for an A&P ad for Liberty Blue.
https://ibb.co/xJ3WhH8
@Kristen, It wasn't necessarily "selling" it. It was for the shopper to earn pieces by buying enough groceries to get discounts on the dishes. Then more could be purchased at "full price" if you needed more or didn't buy enough groceries for the discount. Serving pieces might only be available for a few weeks of the campaign.
Ohhh, I see! Like a rewards program of sorts.
I have a set of Jamie Oliver dishes that I purchased at a local supermarket chain a few years ago. They are pure white and of really good quality. My mother in law had collected the same dishes (although different serving pieces) and when she passed away, we received them. We will have enough to do us for many years!
@Kristen,
My grandparents got their everyday china from Grand Union. It was like a reward program. The received stamps when shopping and when you filled your book you received a piece. It was funny because after my grandfather passed we found all these half filled books for sugar bowl and creamer. But they had moved from NY to VA so they couldn't collect stamps anymore.
@Jeanne, Were those Green Stamps?
I miss Grand Union. It was the supermarket my mom shopped at when I was small. I still remember my mom buying "rubber pants" for my younger sister (21 months younger) so I must have been four or less.
Actually come to think of it, that was the store where I climbed on the shopping cart, aged three, where my sister, one, was sitting in the baby seat, knocked it over and broke her collarbone. Neither of us remember it but if someone brings it up I say she deserved it. (heh)
@Heidi Louise,
I totally remember this from going to the “supermarket” with my mom when I was a kid! Hadn’t thought about that in a long time! 🙂
@Rose, S and H stamps is what I remember as a kid.
@Rose, gas stations also sold dishes and glasses.
@Kristen, they still sell it in Italy, where I live. You can find basic stuff and sometimes nicer brands too.
Thanks for sharing! I do find it very interesting to see other peoples' stuff. We are on a de-cluttering bend, ourselves, and it's unbelievable just how much STUFF there is, even in our 2-bedroom apartment. It feels like every time I make a drop at the thrift store I'm removing so many cubic feet of stuff, and yet there's still so much more!
It makes me nervous to own a basement, to be honest. I feel like it would just become a graveyard of stuff.
(Note that if anyone is willing to give me a house for free I will set happily aside my fears of owning a basement :P)
@Meira@meirathebear, Over the winter, I cleaned out my basement, getting rid of TONS of stuff I'd had because...who knows why I had it. I gave away most of it (via FB Marketplace--people will take almost anything for free) and donated whatever was remaining. That which remained, was organized so it's easier to locate when needed. It feels so good to go down there now, compared to when it was cluttered and full of stuff. Then it felt overwhelming, messy and depressing.
@Mary, That's wonderful! I definitely feel better when I know what we have and where, and I know I'll enjoy our not-huge apartment more when we have everything in closets or on shelves instead of boxes on the floor.
@Meira@meirathebear, as a basement owner I commend your foresight. However, it is great for storing bulky seasonal cooking stuff like Xmas cookie cutters and giant roasting pans. I cook a lot as both a frugal and quality investment in our health. Some foods do require just the right pan!
We have moved 12 times or maybe it's 13 and should I count the 6 months that we lived in a furnished rental... Anyhoo, because of that, we don't accumulate "stuff" and I do some serious decluttering each time we move. 3 years ago, dh's mom passed and we had to clean out her house in order to sell it. Oh my gosh y'all, the stuff we had to throw away and the stuff that we had to sort through to donate. Goodwill hit the jackpot that day. We filled up a 40 foot dumpster the top and then some!! Hopefully when the time comes, our children won't have the same amount of work.
Seems like she may have enjoyed thrifting. I feel for the homeowner but am glad that you two ladies are giving her treasures a new lease on life.
I also LOVE the post about other readers' lives. I would love to do a post but am nowhere near frugal. I am here for all the positivity!
What a wonderful service you are doing, to this lady, to her family, and to the environment!
You also have to think of a physical illness/disability. When someone is seriously and chronically ill, survival on a day-to-day basis is, in itself, exhausting. In addition to not being physically able to clean, she might not have had the mental energy to think about asking for help.
May her soul rest in peace. ♥
@st,
Also, have you ever considered the fact that some of her family members, those who did not want to let go of valued items during a move, job loss, break-up, or another situation, used her uninhabited house as a "free" storage unit? It is just a thought!
That's a very fair point; when I think back to how much worse my housekeeping got while I was pregnant and sick, I can completely understand how a chronic illness could lead to a messy house.
I wish someone had been able to help her, regardless of what the problem was.
Kristen,
Your compassion for this lady really touches my heart today. It's the one year anniversary of my grandma's death, and in an alternate universe she probably would have been the lady living in that house. But fortunately my grandpa stuck with her until he died, and she was living five minutes away from my family, so we did our best to help her out. She had suffered various mental breakdowns as a young adult, and definitely hoarded, and shopped at Goodwill for something to do. As she slowed down towards the end of her life, she didn't have the ability to head out shopping, so she "shopped her house!" She'd bring a boxfull of stuff over to my mom and say, "Look at what I found! Maybe you can use some of it!" Most of it went straight back to Goodwill. It was a start to a long de-cluttering phase.
After she passed my mom and her sisters spent some long days sorting through things, and now one of my cousins bought the house and lives there.
I like Jody S's comment about the lady filling her home with pretty stuff. It's true that so many of those dishes are really lovely, and I have a few pieces of china that my Grandma picked up for me from Goodwill because they have roses on them (my name). Yup, those ladies would have been friends. 🙂
Thanks for just being a lovely person, Kristen, as always.
@Blueroses, when my kids were younger, any time we'd visit my mother (whose hoarding tendencies got worse the older she got), my mother would frequently offer them items from her home--anything from books, to dishes, to food, you name it. The rule between the kids and I were that if she offered anything, to TAKE IT! Even if they didn't want it (frequently they did not and it was either donated or went into the trash), it was one less item in her overly cluttered house.
@Mary, We have the same rule in our house with various older family members.
Come donation time, you might check with the women’s shelters in your area. Our local one is always looking for common household items to help residents start over from scratch. I can only imagine how appreciated those lovely dishes would be as someone unpacks in their new home!
We recently bought a house (which is why I’ve not been posting—not much frugality to report lately! :P), and the cleaning you’re family has undertaken really puts into perspective how relatively minor the work we need to do is. I’ve been stressed and busy, but I flat out couldn’t handle what you guys are!
@N, YOUR, autocorrect! Your family. Sheesh.
@N, generosity is catchy! We have a service called Hope Now that helps needy people furnish homes and apartments. They accept donations of any domestic use—dishes, linens, furniture, appliances—gladly. Folks who need to make a new start get a voucher from the local social welfare agency, and the use of a truck to make a one time bulky delivery. It helps a lot of families after home fires, domestic violence, and other catastrophic losses. I think it is a national organization.
A few of those are older patterns I recognize. One of the plates is a Homer Laughlin pattern so just be very careful. Some of the ones with gold trim looks like the dishes that come in bag so flour in the old days. They also had drinking glasses in bags of tea sold and those glasses now sell for around $25+ each. Check Replacements.com. You can snap the pattern and they usually can match it which is really cool..
You are in a treasure hunter’s heaven here! Wish I lived close to you, I would help just for the adventure!
A couple thoughts.
I agree with all the people who appreciate that you're caring for the stuff — it's almost as though it were caring for the person, even though details are scant, and maybe the family will someday come across it and appreciate your concern.
Other people's dirt kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies, which I can't really explain. It's not like we live a pristine life here with a bunch of cows and whatnot. In any case, I don't know if I'd be able to do this project, so I offer props from that angle as well.
And for the folks who are reluctant to share a Meet-A-Reader post because you're not frugal, or maybe are frugal in ways that don't match past posts, I don't think you need to hesitate. Every person has a story, no two people value the same things in the same ways, and this is just about the most receptive audience you'll find on the internet.
A big yes to your last paragraph! And Karen, if you'd like to participate, I'd love to have you! I bet your farm life would be interesting for all of us. 🙂
@Kristen, Another thought of the readers could be (I guess I am speaking for myself) that most of the frugal thoughts and actions have been mentioned.
Also I think I am very frugal and so does my family but I am nothing out of the ordinary and so many of your previous participants have had such interesting lives. Just my thoughts
This is a good point! Maybe I will rejigger the questions a bit.
@karen, agreed!
Personally, I think everyone's life is interesting. Your story is yours and, yeah, it might have features in common with other people's story, but it's still unique.
Probably my favorite comic strip of all time is For Better or For Worse, which is nothing more than real, ordinary life, but in a comic strip. I've said before, and still think, that the "feel" of this blog is much like that comic strip — that "feel" is what I love about both.
All that said, my life is actually pretty boring, too, lol, but I'm honored to be asked to contribute. I'll give it some thought. 🙂
Woohoo! I'd love to have you!
@Karen.,
City girl here. I would love to hear about your farm!
I grew up in a smoking household and back in the 70's people smoked inside their homes. The stickiness of the smoke definitely changed the colour of things. I remember wiping the tv screen with Windex and the paper towel being very yellowed. Being reminded of this with those dishes makes me very, very grateful that I never smoked.
The dishes are really lovely once the dirt was removed. What a find!!!
@Sandra Hajdu, Oh my goodness I just remembered this, as newlyweds when we bought our first house in the kitchen, right by the sink, the ceiling was a tan colored. And we wondered about it.
Either we figured it out or a visitor told us. The woman of the house was working at the sink doing the dishes or whatever and smoking.
I am finding your finds entertaining. Good work!
Kristen, thanks for telling us the story. I add my kudos to everyone else's for what you, your brother, and your SIL are all doing there.
I can relate to this story from both sides. Long ago, DH's real estate partner bought a similar house on his own. Of course, the mess was massive (imagine everything Kristen and her folks are dealing with, plus pee because the poor lady became incontinent before her relatives finally moved her to institutional care). But, sakes alive, the stuff that came rolling out of there...and was still rolling out even last summer, when DH's partner held one final garage sale after his own wife died and he relocated to his native state.
And now I'm in the position of trying not to become either that lady or the one that Kristen and family are cleaning up after. I try not to let a week go by without donating something, selling something, giving something to friends, and/or putting something on the curb. The lady who wrote the book about "Swedish death cleaning" (despite the unfortunate phrase) is my role model here.
Our first house was purchased by an older couple. After he passed away, she apparently could not maintain it or pay taxes. The city subsequently took it, but it was so rotten from a roof leak, they had to demolish it. So heartbreaking to see that empty lot! It is sad that as a society we’re are unable to pull together to support elderly who are without means. I don’t know what my grandfather would have done without my dad.
@Carol g, a house in our neighborhood burned about two years ago. It had not been occupied in a while, although the owner's car was still in the car port, all the furniture was still there and the grass was kept cut. The fire was confined to the back of the house, probably a result of rats chewing on the wiring, but the house was heavily damaged by smoke and the water used to put out the fire.
It remained a burned wreck until just recently when the city tore it down. My husband stopped during his walk and asked the lady next door. It turned out the woman who owned it had moved in with family and had not kept up with taxes and insurance on the property, and her family had not helped her do so. So the city finally had to condemn the property -- it was dangerous after the fire -- and tear it down. The lot was sold and someone has cleared it and is putting up the foundation for a new house on it. The neighbor was disgusted that the owner's family cared so little and had not helped her save her home by helping with the taxes and insurance, which were not a lot of money.
So fascinating. Thank you for sharing Kristen. My husband and I are still young, but we don't have children and don't plan to. I do sometimes think about who will deal with our stuff when we are gone...Maybe that plays into why we are both very minimalist and sell/donate things regularly. I don't want anyone burdened with my crap when I'm gone. Like Swedish Death Cleaning I guess, ha!
You guys have all seen "Grey Gardens," haven't you? It's a classic.
It's about two women, mother and daughter, Big Edie and Little Edie, living in a decaying mansion in East Hampton. They don't realize what an absolute pigsty they live in because of various mental illnesses. Yet--they have an indomitable spirit.
Big Edie was Jackie Kennedy Onassis's aunt and Jackie didn't help her until an article in New York magazine shamed her into having the place cleaned up. It soon went back to being a wreck again and a documentary was made about the place. The house's name is Grey Gardens.
The house is still around--it was purchased from Little Edie by Washington Post editor Bill Bradlee and his wife; she recently sold the house.
Good, touching documentary.
@Rose, I'm not familiar with this story. I've checked out both the original documentary and the Hollywood adaptation from my library. Thanks for the recommendation!
@MB in MN, MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
I actually went to the tag sale after the last owners sold, because plenty of the Edies' stuff was still there, and I was only number 8 on line, but the first people cleared out ALL the good stuff. Still annoyed about it 4.5 years later. I went through it first as a local reporter, and wanted an Edie tennis racket, but it was gone. All my friends said, "Why didn't you hide it?" Kicking myself. Ha!
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-11-17/estate-sale-at-the-hamptons-home-of-the-grey-gardens-pack-rats
@Rose, ditto. A powerful, sad story. And a great argument for not living alone!
Curious if any of the heavier restaurant-type dishes originated from Medalta Pottery (Medicine Hat Alberta). See medalta.org for the century plus old story of clay-fired culinary supplies. Many a prairie cafe served coffee, pie and other tasty meals on Medalta’s wares. Homemakers (like my Mom) preserved sauerkraut in crocks from Medalta.
Most of them are unmarked, but a couple of heavy bowls are marked Hall, and when I googled, I saw that they did have a restaurant line of dishes.
I am touched, but not surprised at your expressions of kindness and compassion for the woman who used to live there. I think many people would be scornful, and I think it's lovely that you were not.
I will also confess that DH and I were long-time smokers who smoked in our home, and I used to have to wash walls, ceilings, and every single thing in our house on a regular basis due to that brownish yuck. We have been tobacco free for 10 years now, and a cleaner house for less effort is one of the many benefits of freeing ourselves from that wretched addiction!
@Karen L, Congratulations on quitting smoking!
I am so fortunate no one ever tried to get me to smoke, because I do not think I have the strength of personality to quit. The action of quitting must be life-changing in many respects, not just physical!
I haven't read through your comments -- but am sure I'm not the only one pointing out that I do see some 'more valuable' things in this stuff -- especially the blue and white Blue Willow dishes! I know you research before you do things...this would be worth researching.
Speaking as an experienced personal property appraiser -- and enjoying your blog.
I just think that when people's houses get like this, there usually is a reason; something tough is often going on. And that deserves compassion!
Our house was lived in by smokers before we bought it, and it was definitely a challenge to get it clean and fresh-smelling. I can imagine how much you are enjoying the clean side effects of no longer smoking. Good for you!
This is such a sad house!
My grandparent’s house is in a similar state, except there are also loaded guns stashed everywhere. They have completely filled a 3000 square foot house and 3 large barns. My grandfather recently acquired a shipping container which he is also filling with “treasures.” They refuse to get rid of anything. No one is allowed to clean anything either. The fridge is full of rotten food that cannot be thrown away. We all just bring takeout food when we come. Other than that, they heat and eat canned foods heated directly on the burner.
It’s not because they don’t have anyone who cares or who could help. It’s because they will not allow any help. I have tried many times. Other family members have tried many more times. We can only help in the very limited ways that they allow. I’m sure that if you saw their house, you would think, oh, that is so sad, their family is not taking care of them! But family members visit literally every day. There is nothing anyone can do to change this situation. They are terrified that we will take their independence and treasures away. We are trying to respect their desire to live the way they want to. There is obviously mental illness (hoarding, which is probably a form a OCD) here, but there’s not much anyone can do about it without their consent.
I don’t think I have the patience to clean it out when they die. So I sympathize with the family members who just left it. There are 5 kids, many of whom are estranged from one another. Some are convinced that there are many valuable treasures in the house. There probably are, but none of it is worth the family drama to me. So I could see no one agreeing about what needed to happen and just letting the house sit until there was some external pressure to deal with it and then selling with everything in it to avoid dealing with fighting over which treasures go to which kid.
Oh wow, that must be so hard for you guys! And that's a good point; perhaps people did want to help the lady who owned this house, but she may not have wanted help.
This abandoned house is quite a small place, but it holds a LOT of stuff. So I cannot even fathom how much stuff your grandparents must have. I do not blame you one iota for planning to hire out the job!
@Tarynkay, your response just reminded me that my husband's aunt, who died at 103, was a hoarder and would let no one help her. The family didn't have to clean it out, though, because apparently she left ALL of her properties to neighbors she was fond of. Whether this was her actual intention is up for debate because she was non compos mentis when she signed her will.
Did you know I initially thought that you had two identical cups just with a different colour?
I think it is wonderful that your sister in law and yourself are in a way paying homage to this lady and her life.
And the green jar is just lovely!
I remember an Oprah episode where a psychiatrist said that it was not uncommon for hoarders to be perfectionists. That utterly surprised me. After he explained, it made perfect (ha!) sense. The following link has excellent info on hoarding, including a section on perfectionism:
https://restorationmasterfinder.com/restoration/compulsive-hoarding-symptoms/
@MB in MN, Very interesting article!
As others have written, I am struck by the kindness being shown this homeowner woman, whatever her circumstances were. Do any neighbors ever come over and talk about the house?
@MB in MN, I read a book last year entitled Coming Clean. It was a memoir written by a young woman who grew up in a home with hoarders. It was absolutely heartbreaking and fascinating at the same time.
@Bee, I read that one, too! And I had the same feelings of heartbreak and fascination.
ahhhh you are a CHAMP at cleaning up those cups/plates!!! they look so beautiful!! And could probably tell quite the story if they could talk 🙂
Wouldn't it be fun to know??
@Kristen,
Might there be neighbors who could provide a clue or two?
Gosh, what a great opportunity. I see a business idea here. And a large following of people who like to read about this type of post.
I think that's so great what you and your sister-in-law are doing. So many people wouldn't take the time or care that y'all are and just chuck it in the dumpster. BTW, I am on the same journey as you are in that I'm pursuing a nursing degree. It will be my second; my first was a bachelor's in business management and marketing. I spent about 20 years in that world, and I'm now anxious for a more emotionally and spiritually satisfying career. I just got accepted last week to the program of my choice for this fall: Associate Degree - Nursing (RN). I spent 2021 completing 4 pre-requisites that I didn't have with my first degree (including A&P1&2 - ugh - I feel your pain on those!). Hope your classes are going well; I've been following you for some time, and I think you'll make a great nurse.
I'm late to the game today. More on that later this week.
I also noticed that the lady seemed to have a fondness for pretty dishes. I do too, so that spoke to me. One of my guesses was that she might have been a heavy smoker, as that brown color looks like the aftermath of nicotine stains and dirt, and I see I'm not the only one who thought that.
I have a weakness for pretty things, and I am trying to keep myself from buying more at thrift stores and yard sales. I have had one good "clean out" of my house, but there is always, always more to do. My parents were packrats (although their house was always neat and tidy. They could have been Tetris kings, they were so good at storing things away in every cupboard, closet and drawer) and after inventorying the parts of their house that survived a fire, I decided I would never be a packrat myself. SO MUCH STUFF. We had to count everything to be able to get replacement value from the insurance, and I'll always remember this: my husband counted the dress socks in one of my dad's dresser drawers and came up with ninety pairs. We brought DH a second drawer of socks to count and he told me to write down 180 pairs and be done with it - he wasn't counting anymore socks. Who knows how old some of those socks were?
I think it's fantastic that you and your sister-in-law were able to save so many items from this home. There are so many beautiful dishes under all that grime. I'm sure you will be able to find a lot of online buyers for these items. I know there's a website out there for buying and selling dishes that belong in sets. I'm not sure what the website is called, however.
I suspect she might have been a hoarder who might have just kept aquiring stuff at thrift stores/ garage sales. I’m happy you are helping to rescue some items!
Are you worried about getting sick from either cleaning out the house or cleaning/ using the plates and cups etc? I know I would be.
If the house had moisture issues, I might be concerned about breathing in there. But as it is, we wear masks while we work in the house; it just smells too bad and there's too much dust to go without a mask.
Once things are cleaned, I definitely am not worried. Soap and hot water (and the dishwasher in some cases) are good at removing junk from non-porous surfaces. 🙂
My brother works on cleaning out houses and he says there are a lot of mentally ill people out there but some are just plain poor and insecure about their future which causes them to hoard because "they might need it and not have the money to acquire it in the future."
Kristen, do you have updates about this lovely house?