A little bit of this, a little bit of that
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Time for a post full of multiple unrelated things!
The comments on the Ask The Readers post. Whoa.
You guys.
You all had so, so, so much helpful advice for Susan and any other people struggling to get dinner on the table. Thank you!
In case you missed it, the post is here, and you should definitely read the comments.
Even if you are already successfully cooking dinner, you might glean an idea or two from the suggestions there.
By the way, several readers recommended the book Desperation Dinners. I'm not sure if it's still in print, but there are oodles of used copies available on Amazon, some as cheap as $0.25.
And it looks like the same authors wrote another cookbook, which is also available used on Amazon.
Mrs. Frugalwoods disagrees with Buy It For Life
I found this post by her to be a super interesting read. Check it out!
(Edited to add: I'm not disagreeing with her points; I'm just sharing her article because I thought her perspective was interesting. I actually agreed with a fair amount of what she said, and it was good food for thought.)
8/10 Americans live paycheck to paycheck.
So says this article from CBS.
From the same article: only ⅓ of Americans live on a budget.
Which is interesting, because while there ARE other factors that are out of our control (inflation, rising costs, stagnating wages), living on a budget or not is still a choice that most of us can freely make.
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My eBay costumes aren't selling.
I listed four costumes on NextDoor and on eBay (ones my girls are done with, still in super good shape!) for half the price of new, but no one has bought them yet. Did I list them too late?? Should I have listed them on craigslist? Should I just give up and freecycle them?
Tell me what I'm doing wrong.
I did mean to list them in September, but forgot. Whoops.
Aaaaand that wraps things up for today.
P.S. Ummm, if any of your girls want to be Snow White (8-10), Alice in Wonderland (8-10), Dorothy (8-10), or Mrs. Incredible/Violet (women's S), email me. Bonus points if you're local! The Dorothy outfit comes with Toto and a basket, and it would be awesome to not have to try to ship that.
try listing the costumes on local facebook tagsale sites, try local consignments, too
Yes! I was going to suggest both of these...they local Once Upon a Child gives payment on the spot if you like their offer!
Half the price for a used costume is too much.
Also, Mrs. Frugalwoods' examples were silly. No one expects to buy a mattress for life. Everyone knows they should be replaced every 10-20 years.
I was thinking this too. Most costumes in stores are $50. If you list for $25, that's too much. Try listing for $10 ea. or $13 and have people haggle you to $10.
Ah, ok. I thought 50% was a pretty usual benchmark for selling used stuff, but then again, I am hardly a pro at it!
Yes, we almost always buy used costumes through Craigslist for our six kids, and I think the most we've ever paid was $15. Most we've bought for $10 or $12, and those are even the more popular/expensive ones like full Star Wars costumes. But October is prime costume-selling time, so if tou lower your prices, they'll probably sell quickly.
I LOVE the costumes! I think it might be a bit early. May be the costumes will sell in a couple of days.
I have been debating whether to buy a costume for my son. He is too young to know what Halloween is, and we don't let him eat candy. Maybe ill try to make a costume for him!
Read Mrs. Frugalwoods post. Seems like she wasn’t totally disagreeing...just saying, one size doesn’t fit all every time.
Oh yes, I wasn't saying I disagreed with her post. I should edit my own post to make that clear.
I think give the costumes a week or so.
I'd think it would be too early for the costumes. I don't start looking at Halloween costumes until the second half of October (but maybe that's just me?). I'd also suggest listing them on FB local garage sales as someone else suggested. And I agree - half off retail is a little too expensive for costumes (at least for me).
I actually loved Mrs. Frugalwoods's take on the buy it for life trend. I tend to agree with her points although there are a few items I still think I would buy for life such as my Allclad pots and pans. I do think it has also turned into a marketing gimmick to get some people to justify the cost of more expensive items. It's a good idea to try out a cheaper version of an item for a while (not really cheap!) and decide based on your usage and the features you want if it's something you want to buy for life.
I'm older than most of the posters and have been trying to think of something I bought for life- I can't think of a thing! I've moved a lot though so maybe that's it.
Like Nan above, I have a few (ahem) decades of life under my belt, and the only forever items I could come up with involve cooking - good knives and good pans, as well as baking utensils - are worth their weight in gold considering how much time we spend in the kitchen. I'm hard pressed to think what else would be a forever item unless big ticket items like roofs, piping and A/C/Heating units? My taste changes to frequently otherwise.
Even roofs, piping and AC units have surprisingly short lifespans!
Have you tried the OfferUp app or Facebook marketplace? Both are free and we had great luck selling things with both when we moved recently!
I was also going to suggest OfferUp. We used to sell on Craigslist for anything that wouldn't be worth adding shipping costs, but about a year ago realized that more people seem to be using OfferUp.
One point - OfferUp is very visual. Take a photo and edit to add text to describe the item and add the price to the photo. Our success rate went w-a-a-y-y up when we started doing that.
🙂 The Mother
I love the costumes -- don't need them, but I love them. I hope you get them sold! Other commenters have good suggestions. I couldn't sell food to a starving man, so I'm not the person to advise you on sales.
I read the Frugalwoods column on buy-it-for-life when it posted, and I agreed with her. Some people justify spending huge amounts on something that will "last them forever" when you know it won't, or at least, you know they won't want to keep it forever even if it does last that long. On the other hand, my mother-in-law spent a lot of money on high quality pots and pans; she's gone but the pans still work every day in my kitchen, so they lasted her "for life" and may outlast me as well. My cast iron pan certainly will outlive me, barring any weird happenings, like the earth opening up and swallowing it or something. I bought a lovely 1920's era aquamarine ring that will surely outlive me as it has outlived its first owner, but I bought it as used jewelry, so I didn't pay the big bucks a comparable new ring would have cost me. Which was part of the Frugalwoods' message, as I recall.
I'm going to check out that cookbook -- that might make a good gift for some busy working-outside-the-home mothers I know.
We used to live paycheck to paycheck. The beauty of frugality and conscious spending is that, even on our very modest income, we no longer have to do that. Thanks for the link, I'm going to read that.
I really feel like the woman on the other site totally missed the point. The point of the Buy it for Life mentality isn't about having the very best luxury items (well, it is for some but not a large part of it) but about mindful consumer spending in ways that benefit the purchaser in many ways beyond financially.
I mean, look at it this way: four years ago I bought a nice black full grain leather belt (made in America no less) for $40. That same belt goes for around $55 now so maybe I hit a good sale or something, I forget. Anyway, that belt has lasted me four years and looks more or less brand new despite being worn just about daily since then. Buying a cheap
Whether I have this belt when I'm retired is in many ways entirely beyond the point. I own a quality item that isn't cardboard covered in a micron thin layer of cheap leather (or paint) and I've not only saved but my quality of life has increased (albeit a small amount) by not having to worry about buying a new belt every year or so.
Also, per the whole "things break" well, yes, even so-called BIFL items do break but the point is that they should break less. Cheap glassware will break far easier than thicker, better made stuff (though ironically the most durable glassware in my house came filled with Aldi brand alfredo sauce!) and a dollar store plastic spatula may snap while mixing something while the thick wooden handled one I have will keep on going strong. With the cheap one I have a potential disaster to take care of. With the higher quality one I mix away without fear.
So, yeah I'm going to disagree with her reasoning but whatever works for her, I guess.
Plus, high quality items often retain much of their value if you do get tired of them. And I'd rather pay a little more for good quality dishes, say, than use Corolle the rest of my life. But it seems kind of obvious to me that the Frugalwoods don't value looking good and having a good looking home as much as I do. Their house looks cold and uninviting and their clothes are generally terrible in photos. Fair enough, but other people do care.
You may not agree with her article but personal attacks are not necessary. The Frugalwoods seems nicely dressed and their home is not cluttered which may make it seem uninviting to you. Remember they have only lived there for just over a year. The last word I would assign to their home is cold.
how rude! do you really think such nastiness is welcome? and to the frugalgirl, why haven't you said something to Rose about this disgusting behavior?
Aww, SD...I'm actually with you on the content of what Rose said (I hopped over to the Frugalwoods site and their clothes and home look current and stylish to me. Which either means they are stylish, or my tastes are out of date! Heh. Perhaps Rose is just way more fashionable than I am. Entirely possible, as I'm hardly cutting edge.)
But by the same token, I'm not sure that using "disgusting" is a super helpful way to address this. Responding to rudeness with rudeness is rarely helpful in terms of actually helping someone to see the error of their ways.
If you fight fire with fire, you make a larger blaze, you know?
I found myself feeling that she missed the point also, even though I agree with several of her specifics. There's useful ideas in her post but I disagree with the overall outlook.
First, it's not really For Life. It's for the long term ... but only if is something you need, can use, and can keep for a long period.
That said, I agree wholeheartedly that if this is the first time you've own the thing, get a cheap one to see if it's something you'd use a lot over time.
Second, she seems to be mistaking "the most expensive ever" for "high price for high quality."
Third, the questions of style and breakage, are ones that should be part of the question "is this something I would use a lot over time?"
Four, you can sell good quality things you don't want any more. My frugal former BIL did that with DIY tools for his house renovation.
One problem with a lot of today's urban and suburban societies is a separation from the manufacture of a product. Since we can't really judge quality of craftsmanship or materials we tend to use price as a measure of quality when it's just a matter of supply and demand. So that $800 flashlight she mentioned is certainly not the highest quality which everyone who needs a flashlight should buy; it's a specialty device. Most people would be fine with a cheaper flashlight since (with the advent of LED bulbs) there's really no parts to go bad and change outside of the casing and switch.
Aww, sorry to hear about the eBay issues! I usually have better luck on local sites like Craigslist or Facebook for those sorts of things.
I saw the paycheck to paycheck data and thought it's completely bananas. We used to be one of the 8 in 10 households living paycheck to paycheck. It was so much hard work, but we got out of the cycle thanks to prioritizing how we use money as a tool for advancement, and not perpetuating the same ol' bad habits.
I read Mrs. Frugalwoods and dont totally agree with her. My husband had the cheaper the better mentality but it depends on what it is. Kitchen tools need to be of good quality. my pans r 40 years old & I still have many of my mother in laws baking pans.I have large roaster that was my mom' moms and I am senior! Good quality appliances are worth the $ too . Depends on what u value. We r retired and live well as being mindful.as well as frugal continues to serve us well
I really appreciated all the reader comments about getting dinner on the table. I cook from scratch every single day for a variety of reasons: because it's most affordable; often it's as good or better than what we'd get at a restaurant (don't you hate that feeling when you spend money on a meal and then are disappointed because you could have done it just as well?); and I can control the ingredients. While local, organic, non-GMO are all priorities for me, my kids also have multiple food allergies. My biggest problem--and what leads to my cooking rut--is that I'm always some sort of short-order cook because of the allergies. There is virtually nothing I can make that all of us can eat. So I have a universal main, like pasta, but everyone has the add-ins they're able to have. But this means it takes a lot longer to get dinner prepared than I'd like. I've been doing a bit more menu planning, and I'm going to try out prepping more in advance.
Read Mrs. Frugalwoods' post on Buy it for Life. I guess I didn't realize BIFL was a thing. Though I often agree with her perspective, my biggest issue this time was with the idea that BIFL=the most expensive version of an item. I disagree with that. Often the thing that will last the longest is the really well-made one without all the bells and whistles. I saw a motto that summed up best for me what BIFL ought to mean: Buy Better. Buy Less. It speaks to me in being less consumerist and to buying the BEST QUALITY I can afford, not necessarily the most expensive. And I definitely don't think it precludes buying used. Some things could be lifetime purchases like good cookware, knives, furniture. Other things should still be great quality, but aren't meant to last a human lifetime--mattresses, appliances, clothes, cars. That said, I have an electric coffee grinder that's over 30 years old, a 16-year-old Subaru in great condition, and wool sweaters that are 30-40 yrs old. "Buy Better. Buy Less" would get us out of fast fashion and mindlessly accumulating stuff we don't need, stuff that will wear out or break too quickly, and then becomes stuff that adds to our landfills.
Wow Cathy, what an awesome mum you are doing everything you can to give your kids the right foods for them, what a blessing to them you are. I don't know if this helps but I find that baby spinach keeps for the week washed, spun, pat dried with paper towel and then fold a piece of paper towel on the bottom of an container and put the spinach on top and then fold and rest another sheet on top and then put on the lid. I also sometimes parboil potato (10min) the morning of or day before and refrigerate as I find when cold you can grate it and it makes better rosti or vegie fritters. Parboiled potato also cooks quicker and makes fluffier/crisper roast potato. It also means you don't have to cover with water like cut raw potato. Chopped onion seems to keep very well in the fridge and I know my mum used to brown onions in small batches to add to a dish. I do this now but in a bread roll with cheese and beef and wrap in baking paper then plastic to freeze then for work I take some spinach leaves and add that in before toasting in the sandwich press for lunch so I know it works. I've also seen Jamie Oliver put a halved butternut pumpkin cut side up in the bottom of the oven when cooking something else and then scoop it out to mash. Sometimes I make a veg filled meat sauce on the stove, a baked zucchini slice (like egg frittata) in the oven and while these are cooking make a fried rice from rice I cooked the day before as in these things I use mainly the same veg with a couple of exceptions and I find it not much more work to chop/grate for the 3 meals than for one. If some in your family can eat a homemade marinade or meat rub you can also prep your meat with marinade and freeze in flat small portions to defrost quicker and then the flavourings already done when you've defrosted it. All the best.
Though my kids' food allergies aren't too bad, I can sympathize a little! Sonia has a lot of fresh fruit/veggie allergies, and Zoe is allergic to shellfish. So, if I'm making a dish that has shellfish and also raw veggies, I have to think hard about what order I cook things in and how I plate the food so that I don't give either girl something that will be a problem.
Yep, I also have to pay attention to sequence--as much to save my hands (constant washing as I move from one food to another) as to avoid cross-contamination. One of my sons has grown out of many of his allergies, but is still allergic to nuts, peanuts, a variety of beans/legumes/peas, melons and a few other fruits. But he also has Oral Allergy Syndrome which, in his case, results in itchiness in his mouth from eating a variety of fruits/veggies. Peeling works great for apples & pears, cooking for tomatoes, but there's no solution for things like lettuce/spinach, berries, and rice. Oh, did I mention he's a vegetarian? He eats a lot of carbolicious food and dairy. Ironically, my other kid is anaphylactic to dairy and wheat (and all the other grains with gluten), and nuts.
It's been our life for almost 15 years, so I'm used to it. But I'm finding that by dinnertime, I'm tired, so I'm working on better (menu) planning. I do a lot of things like make big batches of pancakes/waffles and freeze so I can reheat for a quick school day breakfast, make a pot of marinara to use throughout the week, roast a chicken, or make a pot of rice or pasta and use leftovers in a second (or third) dish. But I have to admit it never occurred to me to prep on the weekend. I think even having a weekly veg chopping fest would be helpful. I really appreciate all the comments in the other post. Some great ideas there!
Ooh, OAS is exactly what Sonia has! And she is mildly allergic to a number of nuts (and peanuts).
Luckily, her OAS has not shown up for raw leafy greens or berries, which is a sweet mercy.
Hi Cathy, I forgot to explain I mainly cook for myself and/or my sister and work some odd hours hence the cooking 3 things at once, I freeze it all in individual portions and use it for lunch/dinners I only have to microwave them except cooking fresh pasta. I like spicy but often want plain but my sister can add olives and chilli to her sauce for heating etc. So if you have freezable meal options you could do something similar.
I also had a thought this morning that another sister with kids who have some food intolerances makes chicken stirfry with CSR golden syrup instead of soy sauce, weirdly it doesn't really taste sweet and cooks to give chicken pieces some really nice flavour.
The costumes are SO cute. Surely they'll sell soon.
I have heard that stat before, that only 1/3 of Americans live on a budget. It's now second nature, but starting out it was a little hit-or-miss on the numbers and a lot of, "Oops, I didn't have enough to buy that!" Perhaps helpful websites like yours will continue to encourage folks to look at their household finances straight on. If we never encourage one another to start and stick with a budget, that 1/3 statistic will remain at 1/3.
Please keep in mind many families barely scrape by month to minth and thats WITH a budget stretched so tight you could bounce a quarter off it. We do every frugal thing wr can and then some. I have two disabled family members living in our home. Between my husb and i we do three jobs. Walk in someone elses shoes before u assume anyone who lives month to month just cant budget their money.
Oh dear, I would never assume that about you. You ARE doing everything you can to live frugally, and that is completely different than not managing your finances.
I'm really sorry that things are tough for your family, and I hope that somehow, you can find some relief in the future and a little budgetary breathing room.
I have had long periods where I managed to live frugally compared to many. But I never actually understood how to "make a budget". I felt I should, feeling guilt at times but every time I tried to project my expenditure I would end up with calculations beyond my income so I would put it in the bin and avoid it for another 2 or 3 yrs. Then one year I thought life can not be that expensive for me because I was able to save well. This may be so obvious to most of you but I decided to just save every receipt and categorize and add up everything I spent in one 12month period and see what I was actually spending and then look at the areas to target for strategies to save. One of my friends lovingly called me a twit and said 'that's what budgeting is' but I honestly had no idea, I thought budgeting was planning to spend what you think you should allow for different categories. The laws and conditions in Australia will vary but if you need some tips we have a great government website here called moneysmart.gov.au do you have something similar?
A note about the costumes... I have been challenged over the years when it comes to selling costumes. They have not sold quickly even at $5 but do eventually sell. I agree with the other readers that pricing costumes at 50% is too high, perhaps 25% might offer you more success.
That's so weird! You'd think people would snap them up like hotcakes at this time of year.
The Mrs. Incredible costume did sell at full price (yay!), but I lowered the prices of the other three costumes, and we'll see what happens.
Yes, you would think that fall is a seasonable time for people to buy costumes but I haven't had great luck. My neighbor has had a quicker turn around for adult costumes, as there are less available than kids' costumes, so it's great that you received your full asking price on the adult costume.
A local dry cleaner has a program to encourage the donation of gently used costumes for free tickets for a kids' theater performance, similar to a program also sponsored by a dry cleaner encouraging donation of gently used kids' coats for an incentive. I have had 0% luck selling a couple of kids' winter coats. These programs are wonderful but I believe they have the repercussions of drying up demand for kids' winter coats and now costumes. I can understand the appeal of receiving these items free versus low cost for families with limited resources.
BIFL My Tempurpedic bed. Cost me $5000, but I will have it for life. I bough it for medical reasons as I have fibromyalgia. The comfort and relief it brings me is amazing. Can not put a price tag on that.
* I tend to buy quality items. I don't expect them to last forever, but they generally last longer and function better
* Halloween costumes: bought 2 costumes for the kids, 5$ (for both) at Goodwill. Would not pay 15$ for a used costume.
* Pay check to pay check: it's rough when your salary is small but expenses are high. I'm in a privileged situation where both my husband and I have good jobs, so we have savings and an emergency fund. I would be really anxious without. So, yes, good wages, but we still are careful with our money, we budget, we put extra on mortgage instead of fancy stuff for example. It is a question of wages, but also a question of expenses. I have friends who make more than I do, yet they never have money because they spend like crazy on "silly" stuff, so...