Monday Q&A | Birthday Gifts and Playing the Drugstore Game
Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you'd like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!
I am wondering . . . how do you handle it when your kids are invited to a birthday party and the giving of a gift is expected? I purchased a couple of generic gifts at after-Christmas sales but my stash is used up. We CAN afford to give gifts and I don't mind doing so for close friends, but sometimes the invitations are to all the kids on, say, the baseball team . . . any thoughts?
-Kris
I haven't had a lot of personal experience with this, probably because we homeschool and because my kids haven't played any organized sports. We do go to birthday parties, but they're generally for people that we know really well.
But here are my thoughts:
I'd say that unless the invitation said something like, "No gifts necessary...just please come and enjoy the party!", a gift ought to be given.
(The exception would be if you're in a situation where you truly can't afford it.)
That said, if it's the sort of party where 40 children are invited and you don't really know the child that well, you shouldn't at all feel like you need to spend a ton of money on the gift. Depending on the age of the kid, a $10-$15 gift should be sufficient.
If the parent or child is upset that the 30 attendees didn't give larger gifts, I'd be inclined to think that's their problem, not yours, so don't stress out over it. 🙂 Buy something small-ish and don't sweat it.
I have a question about drugstore deals. They sound like great deals until you look closely at them -- i.e., the "better than free" razor that costs $5, but you get a $5 'Register Reward", meaning that you DID in fact pay $5, but will get $5 off your next purchase. This is NOT a FREE razor -- it's a chance to save on a future purchase. It seems to me to be a lot of work for a little return, and most bloggers make it seem like you are getting free merchandise when you are not. What is your take on this practice?
-Susan
I've played the drugstore game intermittently in the past (read: when I had fewer children!), but a few years ago, I decided it wasn't worth my time. It was too hard to haul everyone to the store, and more often than not, I found the shelves cleared of all the really great deals, and that was super frustrating. I think we should pick frugal activities that don't drive us nuts, and playing the drugstore game was driving me nuts.
Anyway. It is true that the Register Reward/Extra Bucks type of deals require an upfront purchase. However, if you shop the drugstore deals every week, you can use last week's register rewards to purchase this week's deals. And assuming that each week's deals trigger the printing of more register rewards, you can keep purchasing deals while paying very little out of pocket, except for the initial payment that first week.
Playing the drugstore game can get you a lot of merchandise for very little money, but like you said, it's a fairly large time investment, especially if you've got a number of children and don't have drugstores conveniently located near you.
Some people just love couponing and deal shopping, though, so for them, playing the drugstore game doesn't feel that much like work.
I'd say that if drugstore deal shopping seems like a lot of work and you don't really enjoy it, then find other ways to save money. There are lots of options out there, and you shouldn't feel like you have to play the drugstore game just because a lot of other people are doing it.
(P.S.I wrote a post about saving money on groceries without using coupons and it might be helpful to those of you who hate couponing/deal shopping).
I'm in an area with three national brand drug stores within ten minuets. I've found it helpful to limit myself to only going to one drug store, unless I can get an outrageously good deal on an item my family will use or needs.
I rely on certain blogs to do the savings match ups for me and I scan the flyer online for my chosen drug store (there are sometimes a few regional variances). Most of the time, if I can't print the coupon off from online or tear the coupon out of a sale flyer, I don't bother. My total time investment is about 15 mins/ week.
That being said, thanks to those blogs, (this ties into your other question), I found out that my drug store was deeply discounting office supplies.... including some crayola toys. I was able to pick up several crayola products that normally retail for ten dollars for three dollars, which really helped stretch the budget for hubby's grandkids gifts.
So, I guess the moral of the story is to let other people do the heavy lifting. Find a blog you trust and check them out.
I play the drug store game a little. You need to put in some money up front, then you "roll" the rewards to your next purchase. My strategy is to get whatever's free and use the register rewards for things my regular store doesn't carry or the occasional fantastic deal on something I usually buy elsewhere. ($2/12 pack of soda if you buy 4 packs, for example.) Then I donate the free items to a homeless shelter or church.
There are sites that make the job a lot easier. My two sources are Money Saving Mom and the Grocery Coupon Guide,which cover both drug stores and some chain supermarkets. They do the work to correlate deals, register rewards, and coupons. All I have to do is follow instructions.
The guy who runs Grocery Coupon Guide also has a fascinating blog covering his bet with his sister about whether he could survive a month on $1/day for food, later modified and extended to 100 days. Good read and excellent illustration of how it might be done; many good ideas for those of us who don't want to go quite that far.
I don't play the drugstore game, any more than I use coupons. I find any time I try to do stuff like that, I just end up buying more stuff overall. I get most of my savings out of buying less, and buying in bulk.
I also used to play the drugstore game some. I do not have these stores close to me so I felt I needed to use the rewards that day or they would expire. Like Kristen said, it takes a lot of time investment and many times you get to the store and the shelves are empty. You try later and it's still the same. This only brings me down after the time you spend getting organized etc. I prefer to ad match, buy store brand and use coupons on items at the stores I frequent. It just makes my life less stressful.
For birthday gifts I pretty much agree with Kristen. If it's someone my kids know then I may spend a bit more money, but for those parties where "everyone" was invited, we either chose not to attend or spend $10 max on a gift. You can still get a nice gift for $10 or less.
Great questions! Look forward to reading everyone's comments.
My favorite kids gift (both to give and to get) is art supplies. Crayons, markers, paper etc. It does not cost much (especially if you stock-up during back to school sales) and it is consumed by the kids (does not add to extra stuff around the house).
I like art supplies for gifts, or a book, depending on the kid.
I also think a $10 gift card works. My parents sometimes send my oldest a $10 gift card to Target or Barnes & Noble as a surprise, and he's always super excited to get one.
The norm around here seems to be $5-10, but my kids are still little.
gift cards are very popular around here, too. kids can use them for a treat some time later (like starbucks or something) or also Five Below is very popular. It's like the Dollar Store, but everything is $5 or less. And, unlike the Dollar Store, most of what's at Five Below is strictly for fun--books, toys, snacks, funny t-shirts, make-up, etc.--whereas a lot of what is at the Dollar Store is not fun, like toothpaste. 🙂 I've heard some parents complain that gift cards for children just promote consumerism, but others like that to take the opportunity to show their children "see? these things have a cost--they don't give me stuff for free at the store."
Games can become the kid's trademark present. Not electronic ones, but the good standards. Also game books, puzzle books.
In fact, they can be bought without anybody in mind, and held in the "present box" until needed.
Love this idea! Thanks! My 16 month old is really enjoying art lately and I know as birthdays roll around we will be thinking of gifts as we have nearly run out of clothing to re-gift.
Growing up we always gave a new coloring book and crayons as birthday gifts. What kid doesn't love a new box of crayons. Now I almost always give this when invited to a friend's child's birthday party. It's always well received. Coloring books can be picked up for a dollar or two, and crayons go on sale for $.25 at back to school time. This gift is really low on the price scale, but it provides hours of great entertainment. 🙂
I did the drugstore stuff briefly a year or so ago - not for me. I found myself not using the register rewards or having to 'settle' for something I didn't really want to use them up. I only get what I need/want now and don't want to stockpile a ton of stuff for just myself. I use coupons occsionally - like I'm flpping through All You magazine and see a coupon I can use or they toss out some coupons with a few pieces of the paper(my carrier does this for some reason - not the entire coupon section but usually one piece and some store ads) and something catches my eye - otherwise I just buy what I need from the weekly sale ads or a regular mini stockup grocery trip.
We have had quite a bit of experience with birthday parties. Some months it would seem that there would be multiple birthday parties so the cost would really add up. I came up with a $15 standard gift/gift card. When my kids got older they didn't think that was enough so they were welcome to pitch in and contribute more but my maximum was $15. If it was a "friend" that I had never even heard about I would tell them we were not going to the party. It had to be a really good friend. With my little boys we do not typically go to parties. My 3 year old has gone to 1 party.
I love to give art supplies as gifts too. And a stack of white paper.
I play the drugstore game when it works for me. We live in a rural area, and only have a Rite Aid nearby. There's probably a lot less competition for the good deals than in a more populous area, so most of the time items aren't sold out. (Rite Aid does give rain checks, and occasionally for REALLY good deals, I have gone through the bother of getting one.) The flyers come in the mail every weekend. I look through and mark the things I'm interested in. If there's not enough to justify the trip, I don't bother, but usually it's worth the stop for me. I only buy things that I know we will use and that are a genuine good deal. I'm not interested in getting something for "free" that is of no benefit to us. I take my marked up flyer with me--it makes things easier.
I can easily understand how this wouldn't work for everyone. I shop by myself most of the time. Usually I can get in and out of Rite Aid in less than 15 minutes. It was a lot different when the kids were little... It's also right on my main shopping route. It would be another story if I had to go very far out of the way to get there. It's okay not to play the game. It works for some without being too much of a bother, but if it is a burden, there are lots of other ways to save money.
(A little tip---For those who say they don't shop the drugstores because they forget to redeem the rewards, my mother-in-law said that you can split your purchase into two parts with all of the reward products in the first part and enough in the second to use up the rewards. It means you have to go through the payment process twice, but she says it's a big help for her not to have to worry about remembering to use her rewards on a later date. The cashier told her it was perfectly okay and that she often encourages people to do it that way.)
Last year I decided to "commit" to Rite Aid and their rewards system. At first, it was because I got really fed up with my customer experiences at the biggest drugstore in our area, CVS. (There is seriously a CVS in nearly every single shopping center, so it is way more convenient--that's why I say I "committed" to Rite Aid because I have to make a point of going there.) Anyway, it turned out Rite Aid's reward system is far and away much better than CVS. For one thing, after you spend a pre-set amount over time, you earn a year-long discount on *everything.* I earned a year-long 10% discount. Sometimes you have to buy things (like baby Tylenol) spur-of-the-moment, not on sale, right now, and the 10% discount is basically like always having a coupon for that anything in the store. It's about like having a 75-cent coupon on something that costs $7.99 and you would definitely use a 75-cent coupon if it was just there for the taking, wouldn't you?!? 😀
So, the main thing we do with the "bonus plus" reward certificates, like Dawn said, is buy the reward item on its own receipt and use the reward immediately. For example, Nivea cream was buy $100 worth, get a $40 reward (they are not all so big-dollar as that--but if you use Nivea, you know it is not hard to rack up $100 worth). At the same time, the Nivea products were all buy-one-get-one-half-off (so already for my $100 I got $150 worth of Nivea). We bought the Nivea on a receipt all its own, and then got the $40 reward which I immediately used to buy other things we needed. I've done this several times, and the people at my Rite Aid are always very nice about it.
The key to using reward certificates is *don't blow or waste them.* If you know you're going to get a reward, be prepared right then to buy something you know you'll need either now or later, like shampoo or makeup--not candy. 🙂
That's exactly how I do it, too. I turn around and use the rewards I get for other things that we use as a family and that are a good deal. I know that the stores figure that you will come in and spend money on some of their higher priced items while you are in there. That's what makes it worthwhile for them to have these programs. But, just like paying off your rewards credit card every month, if you use it the right way, it can bring significant savings, which can be a big help if you have a large family.
I only shop at drugstores when it is a much used item at a really great price. Example: Walgreens near us has witch hazel buy one for $4 get $4 register rewards this week. We use witch hazel instead of rubbing alcohol (90% of the time) and for our cloth diaper wipes solution, so you will find me at Walgreens this week!
We keep gifts at no cost (regift or use store credit to purchase a gift) or about $5-$7. Immediate family members might have a limit that is higher, $15-$20, but we aim to stay in the $5-$7 range by shopping sales.
My five-year-old daughter has recently been invited to several birthday parties.
I like the idea of art supplies/coloring books as a gift. I wanted to add that our Dollar Tree always has nice coloring books, sidewalk chalk and puzzles for $1. Also other items - $1 jump ropes or yo-yos. Most discount stores carry matchbox cars for $1. Sometimes I will add a $1 "movie-size" box of candy to a present to make it seem more substantial. Several small items combined can make a nice present for $5 or less, especially for younger kids.
In the $5-7 range, I can usually find a Barbie, My Little Pony, or Littlest Pet Shop for girls. For boys, I recently saw some nice Nerf water guns for around $7 and the smallest Lego sets also can be purchased for less than $8 at Target.
I try to stay in the $5-8 range for the parties she is invited to. Parties for elementary age kids can add up fast!
I tried the drug store game for a little while. It seemed perfect because I have all of the major drug stores within 2-3 min. of my house! I just couldn't keep up with it and didn't enjoy it and it just seemed like too much time/work to be worth it for me. But I know some people love it!
Our birthday present budget for friend parties is $5-10. And the kids always make a homemade card.
I do shop the drug stores. I do not go out of my way and I only shop at CVS. When I am in the are, I stop by and run my card through the "Magic Red Coupon Machine" and out prints coupons that I may or may not use. Sometimes they are for free products (Sunday I got free deoderant by combining one with a manufacturers coupon) or sometimes money off something I usually buy. If it comes out to free when combined with a sale or other coupons, I will buy it. Sometimes I have a moneymaker where I have "spent" $6.00 in extra care bucks and other coupons but received back $10 in Extra Care bucks. I think I spent about $5 last year at CVS and have been rolling over my ECB since then. I normally don't spend any money when I go there, just roll over my ECB.
It is a game for me and my girls like the result. They get free shampoo/conditioner, body wash, pads, makeup, face wash, lotion, nail polish, deoderant, etc. All name brand, all mostly free or for pennies. When my daughter goes to college this fall, I will load her up with all her toileties for free. Not bad but it is not for everyone. My sister can't be bothered and that's ok for them. I like the game and it only takes me about 10 minutes of planning to work out the deals from various websites. For me it's a good investment of time.
I don't play the drug store game, it drives me nuts. There's a big chain drug store two blocks from my house. When they replaced another chain, the prices went UP. So when I need to buy something, the prices aren't very good to begin with, and saving money with their coupons requires another trip to buy more overpriced stuff to get my "discount".
I don't have the time, memory, or patience for that nonsense. I'm better off driving some short distance to another chain that has lower prices all the time, or buying those few things I would buy at a drugstore (deoderant, shampoo, and the occasional OTC remedy like bandaids or skin cream) at my grocery store when it's on sale--I stock up, since that stuff lasts a while. The once exception is greeting cards, since the drug store is the nearest greeting card carrier. I buy the least expensive ones, often no message cards I can use for any occasion (my kids make the cards for family and close friends). I don't need to buy groceries, office supplies, gifts, etc. at a drug store.
Here in SA I plan for between R70-R100 (that's about $8-12)... I also look out for when I'm shopping for good bargains on generic type gifts and stash away (I HATE last minute birthday gift shopping!!)...we go to sometimes 2-3 birthday parties in a week, especially during party season.. (April & May...strange that!!!)
I LOVE giving board games - Candyland, Hi-Ho Cheerio, Chutes and Ladders as well as card games...Uno, Snap...Pictionary and Monopoly have also come out with "travel" card games..
Lego or Duplo or Megablocks is always a firm favourite and I also love giving books...especially from the Usborne range of books or DK educational (books on space, maps, animals etc). There are also great "How to draw..." books which are great with a stash of pencils and eraser.... we recently got some home made play-doh as a gift which is great, as my 5 year old loves play-doh (just make sure that you are good at making it...and stash in a zip seal bag...)
I guess you could add some cutters and rollers but this was a 'add on' to the main pressie..... other things my kids have enjoyed receiving....mosaic, scrap-booking supplies/papers (nice for an older girl), stationary and pencil/book bags, Perla Beading (little beads you peg on a template to make up a picture and then iron to infuse), sand art kits, Melissa and Doug jumbo colouring pads and sticker pads.... hope that helps!!!!
Thanks for the gift ideas! Craft items are great for younger kids but my son is almost 9 and coloring books don't do it anymore for his friends. A suggestion I received on another site was to creatively give cash--for example, gift-wrap candy in $1 bills taped together, tape 10 $1 bills end-to-end and put them in a box with one of the bills peeking out. I think part of what I object to with birthday gifts is the thought that I just spent money on an item that may sit in the bottom of the toy box and never be used--with cash, the kids can use it on what THEY want. (same with gift cards--thanks for the idea, Lori!)
Hi, Kristin! As always, I enjoyed this post. But my heart did give a little ache that your kids haven't done organized sports! As I'm typing this, I am thinking that you probably have well thought-out reasons for not doing this, or perhaps it's your children's choice. We are not a sports nut family by ANY stretch, but a season or two on a t-ball diamond or watching them learn the concept of a soccer game just seems like a rite of passage. Even SouleMama's kids play baseball! 🙂
So I guess I am wondering, why no sports?
I agree. I think it's really important in many ways and am thankful that both my children are involved in them, but appreciate the need for a balanced lifestyle as opposed to excessive training programmes for future Olympic athletes. 😉
I don't have anything against organized sports, certainly, as long as they're not taken to crazy extremes.
But none of our children have had any desire to play a team sport, so we're happy to let them be active in other ways (biking, rollerblading, swimming, scootering, etc.). Also, Mr. FG's odd work schedules would have made it difficult for us to participate in team sports.
Mr. FG played lots of team sports growing up, whereas I played none, and neither of us see an appreciable difference in how we turned out. We both can follow directions, work with other people, work hard, and persevere.
What we DO think is important is being active, whether that activity is organized or not.
We plan to get them into some sort of tai kwon do or judo program this coming school year, since we think self-defense skills are something good to learn. 🙂
I wanted to add that I'm not saying team sports don't teach things like teamwork or perseverance. I just think that a lot of the things team sports teach can be taught in other ways as well...the important thing is to teach teamwork, perseverance, and all the rest, no matter what form the teaching takes.
Thanks, Kristin! I appreciate your reply and can see where you're coming from (for your family). From a frugal standpoint, it certainly makes sense! We do choose some limited team sports for our boys (soccer and baseball) as well as swimming lessons and it has worked well, but definitely to each his/her own.