What I Spent, What We Ate | Plus a small aside about perfect happy lives
Before we get to groceries:
When I posted my bucket list update the other day, a regular and dear reader commented that she was having trouble avoiding the, "envy the blogger's perfect happy family life" trap, and mentioned she was having a tough summer.
Guys, it bums me out so much that a blog like this isn't a place where I can share all the not-so-happy-family-life too.
I would love to share more with you all, but man, most of the not-so-happy stuff in my life is comprised of things that are not solely my story to tell.
(Septic problems? Food poisoning? Totally will tell. Relational stuff? Not so much.)
I just want to be respectful of the people in my life, especially my husband and kids.
I do have so much to be grateful for in my life, I really do. A lot of my life IS happy (and I do think it's smart to focus on the bright side).
But oof, this last year has been rough on a lot of fronts. Also the year or two before this year, actually.
I've learned a lot and cried a lot, I lost weight from stress, and had plenty of personal therapy appointments, but I'm happy to say in many ways, I am a lot better for the wear.
And I'm healthier and freer.
It might not be easy, but God is working in my life.
Still, not every situation in my life is hunky-dory, and it never will be this side of heaven.
Anyway.
I just want to re-throw out a reminder that what you see on the internet is only a partial story (which is as it should be!) and that all of us are dealing with pain and difficulty in some way or another.
It's just the human condition in this broken world, and we are all in it together.
Our lives are a mash-up of beautiful and ugly and easy and difficult. And any person you see on the internet, including me, is no exception.
To all of you that are struggling...so much love to you. You are not alone. And I wish I could sit down and have tea with you and listen to your pain. I hope you've got someone in your real life who can do that.
(Related: "Please write more about the bad stuff!")
Hmm. I had words to say about this than I thought I did!
Moving on to food, if you're still with me....
What I Spent
First up: the $25 Hungry Harvest box, of course. Which I did not photograph at all.
Oops.
On Monday, a friend went to Costco and I asked if she could pick up flank steaks for me, and she did! $22 there.
And then I made two trips to Aldi, one for $35.52.
And a second one for $70.70.
Which puts me at $153.22.
However...
I stopped at the produce stand. And they had a bunch of bruised peaches. So I bought two boxes for a total of $23.
So now I'm over budget but WHATEVER. I have peaches!!!
I've been slicing and freezing most of them for future smoothie usage but we're also eating plenty of them too.
Total for August week one: $176
What We Ate
Monday
I made a Thai beef green salad. And also a blueberry/peach salad because of the oodles of peaches that I bought.
Make hay while the sun shines.....or make fruit salad when the peaches are available.
Tuesday
This is the night I made the pesto grilled chicken pasta salad.
We ate a peach and blueberry fruit salad with that. Not surprising.
Wednesday
Mr. FG and I are gonna have to skip our usual weekend date night due to a schedule conflict, so I emailed him in the afternoon and was like, "Heeey! Want to go out with me?"
(Spoiler alert: he said yes. Lucky me. ;))
So we went and got pizza.
Joshua was out at a goodbye party for a co-worker, and Lisey had eaten earlier with a friend. So Sonia and Zoe made a homemade cheese sauce for the leftover elbow macaroni for some DIY macaroni and cheese and that was their dinner.
Thursday
Mr. FG went out with our pastor for dinner, so I decided to make Apple Pfannekuchen, except with peaches.
(Why yes. We do have a peach theme going on here.)
Mr. FG hates eggy stuff, so we just eat it when he's not here.
Friday
I'm going out with a friend, so it's gonna be a buy-pizza-instead-of-make-it night for the family.
_______________
Woo. That was a very long Friday post. 10,000 points to you if you made it all the way to the end!
Now I miss peaches! I have a feeling apple season is going to be rough, too. I tried to make "peach" crisp using sliced papaya, and made some papaya sauce for my kids to eat in place of apple sauce, but neither were great. I've heard "apple" pie is good made with choko, so I'm going to try that soon!
Oh, I made it to the end. And I appreciated it. I have the same issue with my blog. I hope people realize that we are very real people, with all that that entails, and our life is not always as funny as I portray it to be. Though I do find it helps me be more positive myself to re-focus some situations through the story-telling lens of my blog, because there is almost always a funny side to a lot of the frustrating parts. Even if I don't see it that way at the time. 🙂
Anyway. Food. Thanks to a brush with gestational diabetes, this week has featured a lot more vegetable side dishes, and the starches have been sort of haphazard leftover kind of things, since only the kids are eating them.
Monday: Baked meatballs with barbecue sauce or yogurt and garlic sauce, roasted carrots, sauteed mushrooms, leftover mashed potatoes, green salad
Tuesday: Italian sausage with peppers and onions, pasta with pesto, green salad with homemade ranch dressing
Wednesday: Grilled London broil, sauteed mushrooms, sauteed mix of carrots, snap peas, and green beans from the garden, sliced tomatoes, rice
Thursday: Grilled hamburgers (can you tell we just now got our grill going for the season--that's already almost over here--and the thrill hasn't worn off yet?) with buns for kids, shelled peas from the garden, green salad with ranch, sauteed mushrooms
Tonight: Um. It's 6:15 a.m. and I don't really know. Bet it'll feature meat with a bunch of vegetables from the garden though . . .
Grill while you can!!
I find the same thing about blogging...it kind of helps ME to re-see my life in a way.
I too am a (new) blogger and have tried to strike a balance between sharing the happy and the not-so-happy moments of my life with the reader. I think everyone wants to read something entertaining and fun. But sometimes (or most of the time?) my life is just not so fun.
I need an outlet, so sometimes I do share the marriage trouble my husband and I have gone through to de-stress and seek advice from the reader. I don't want to put everything out there on the internet, but sharing my pain on my blog has been therapeutic in so many ways. 🙂
Yay! I get 10,000 points! 🙂
We were totally just talking about how things like Facebook show the highlight reels of everyone's life and then we compare the behind the scenes. Then we aren't happy with our own life. But like you said, there is always more going on. Most times there is some type of issue that you aren't seeing. You are so transparent and open and that is so amazing.
How in the world do you get your kids to eat so much variety? My kids do pretty well, but dang. I'm so impressed!
I am so sorry that bloggers feel that their readers don't get that there is a side of life that is and should remain private.
As for meals I have had a plan but a small meal lasts us for the longest time. This week we have had watercress soup, chicken balls and I can't remember. There was a plan but it fails more often than not. Tonight mum wanted crab which I am allergic too. So I am eating a bowl of cereal.
Oh, I am totally not offended by my reader's comment. I completely understand the struggle of looking at other people's internet lives and comparing them to my own. It's so hard to look at happy people when you are in the midst of an especially hard phase of life.
It's a downside of internet life for sure.
Kristen--You show so much conscience in your efforts to have readers see the whole picture. I see you as VERY human and caring, honest, forgiving, with genuine integrity. You have achieved balance in "taking care of "your loved ones and calming down your readers. Yours is still my favorite reading material in the morning. I am a 70 year-old grandmother, but it doesn't matter that I am finished with child-rearing and saving for the future: one should never finished with growing, learning, admiring, laughing, and becoming better.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful finish to this summer. I hope they realize the jewel they have in you.
What can I get with my 10,000 points?
It seems like this was the week that I engaged myself in a race to the bottom on hitting the "easy" button for dinner. This week's meals included:
- Pre-cooked shrimp. Twice.
- Burgers from meat I'd gussied up late last week.
- Out for a family member's birthday.
- Frozen dumplings.
- Sides (a fruit and a veg) were: blueberries, strawberries, sliced apples (2x), baby carrots (2x), cukes, simmered broccoli.
This is why i love love love your blog ! You are human , and you don't pretend to be uber perfect! . THose of us who are dealing with real life issues can relate to failed recipes, not enough time in the day . Frustration over "stuff" . Thank you for being there,, Thank you for being YOU !
Mm. A chord has been struck. I don't have the stamina or fortitude for blogging (or even a public facebook page). I use facebook for the same reason I use a camera — to force myself to really look at life, to save things for later savoring, to put the best construction on everything. I think it helps, but it makes me feel like a huge imposter when people post or tell me I'm doing a great job parenting. That's crazy talk — we try, but we're no more successful than most parents who try. The proof is in the pudding, after all, and the oldest is only 9.
I'm glad you have a trusted professional confidant, because a healthy person relates to family and friends much better than a person who suffers in an unhealthy state.
Also, I think Mr. FG's tastebuds must be super secret best friends with my husband's tastebuds. We only have bean, rice and egg-bake-type dishes when he's not around!
I commend you for NOT sharing all the ugly... too many people utilize social media as their personal diary and fail to remember that there are just something that must be honored and kept private. I have felt that you were very real discussing budgets, stresses, and the balancing act of life.. That is why I enjoy reading here.. you present as REAL.. I assume your life is not perfect but don't feel that you overshare!
That said.. this was a week of trying to use up what we have on hand because I am checkbook broke! lol I hosted a large surprise birthday party for my mom this past weekend and that ate up quite a bit of the fluid funds.. I am trying to not tap the savings too much... (I work during the school year and save most of my pay in savings.. the less I can tap the better for us!)
So surprise party on her birthday on Saturday.. then Longhorn on Sunday since I promised her steak( I made my brother buy her steak!)lol
Monday- pulled a package of chicken breast out of the freezer and made a HUGE Lo Mein with green beans, zucchini and broccoli from the garden, garlic and carrots from the kitchen... served with a box of fettuccini noodles...
Tuesday- Grabbed a bag of buns at the store and pulled the foreman grill out and cooked a package of hot dogs for the kids before TKD( or after volleyball tryouts) - side of boxed mac and cheese and some grapes....
Wednesday- shredded pork shoulder sandwiches! Served with more garden broccoli and baked potatoes
Thursday-We had to pick up the girl and see if her letter said she made the VB team 530... then we had to be back for parent meeting by 7... we just went to pizza hut and used a coupon to get dinner- much closer then going home...
Friday- I want to be lazy... and I walked away from the freezer after I sorted laundry... but I read this post and I am going to go back down.. either a beef roast will go into the crock pot or I will defrost ground beef for a pasta and meaty sauce...
I have a mental list of freezer preps I need to get working on.. back to school and fall season quickly approaching!
Thanks so much for posting this Kristen. The family on my side as well as my husband's side is so against doing any type of mental health therapy. I don't see anything wrong with working out your issues if need be. Geesh my MIL wouldn't even go to grief counseling when her husband died. In fact she bragged about it and I don't think it was a good idea for her not to go. She still has major issues with it today. I went before I got married a few times. I was sooo stressed out about my wedding. It felt good to go talk to someone who had an outside look at things. The thing is though you don't bring things like this up in our family. Holy cow!! How dare you not work things out on there own. We have had some major things happen to my husband and I during our marriage. It's amazing what people can handle:) Enough rambling. I love your blog. Keep doing what you do!
YES. You don't get extra points at the end of your life for not getting help when you need it. There are no gold stars for ignoring your mental/emotional/relational problems, or stumbling through without trying to change/grow/learn.
Taking an honest look at yourself and getting help for your problems (we all have them!) is nothing to be ashamed of, and I think it needs to be normalized.
It's when you honestly see that you need help that real change and growth can happen. And if you're going to get rewards and gold stars or something like that, it'll be because you dealt with your problems, not because you stuck your head in the sand and thought you could do it all on your own.
I'm sorry your family is so opposed to getting help! I hope that changes in the future.
I'm sorry for your struggles, but the fact that you're brave enough, smart enough and frugal enough to avail yourself of outside help when you need it makes my heart sing for you.
"I've learned a lot and cried a lot, I lost weight from stress, and had plenty of personal therapy appointments."
Thank you for sharing, Kristen. The difference you make by your honesty and kindness is impossible to calculate by mere mortals, but it's worth far more than you will ever know "this side of heaven".
And that is something that I hope is helpful to people who read my posts...to hear that there is no shame in realizing you are in over your head and you need some help.
We'd always go see a doctor if we had pneumonia or a broken leg, but we are much less prone to seeking help for emotional/relational/past baggage issues.
And I hope that as my children have watched me, they have learned this: that when you are at the end of yourself and you don't know what to do, you get help (which can take a variety of forms, of course!)
Thank YOU for always being such a sweet and kind reader.
Sending you love for this long year. Your blog is one of the two or three I continually check. Your honesty, yet positivity, keep me encouraged yet practical. Sending you lots of lady, please know you have a whole world of quiet friends out here. I wish we could support you like you encourage us.
That is such a high compliment, given how many zillion blogs are out there. Thanks for making mine a regular stop!
Understanding that blogs are highlight reels...that goes a long ways in not feeling frustrated or envious of another blogger! And if blogs are highlight reels, Instagram is even more so! Highlights of the highlight reels! 😉
Wow 10,000 points and a little reality check. What a great post. My life is very different from yours and other blogs I read but I use them to inspire me. There are darker blogs around with more true to life information but I only read them if I need specific info or a point of view. Frankly, I find some draining. My heart goes out to people whose lives seem to be a series of unfortunate events and hopefully they find it cathartic to share but for my own mental health, I simply can't follow those types of blogs on a regular basis. Thanks for striking a good balance for your readers.
I just wanted to let you know that this blog is one of my safe places on the internet in terms of jealousy and discouragement. Facebook can really get me down. But because you are good at teaching us the things you do well and encouraging positivity, the fact that your life seems a lot more together than mine doesn't bother me. You are like an internet mentor to me. Thanks for this blog, it always brightens my day.
I am seriously, seriously encouraged that you don't feel discouraged when you read my blog. Yay!!! I never want people to leave here feeling inadequate or discouraged...I want to inspire my readers and encourage them.
I used to post many photos from my travels - which are the whole reason that I'm frugal now that I'm an empty nester - and a friend commented that I lead a "charmed life" and she would give anything to have a life like mine. I responded that these photos are the highlight reels from my life and not the norm. I have the same troubles and relationship issues as everyone - I just happen to also travel as much as I can. Life isn't perfect - nor would we want I want it to be. A little smoother maybe with a few less troubles - but not perfect.
This has been a tough year for so many people in my sphere, including myself. Thank you for keeping your blog positive even though I know you deal with the deep down dirty stuff of life, too.
I am not on social media which has its pros and cons, but this was a very conscious choice on my part and I believe it is the right one for me. It certainly spares me a lot of drama and hard feelings about certain things.
Anyway . . .
I went way over budget again last week, even though I resolved to do better. My mistake was not estimating my grocery expenses. Usually I estimate the cost of things on my list before going and if the total is too high, I make adjustments to my items and/or my menu to bring the price down. This time I just bought the things I wanted/needed and went way over, in part because it was a week that I needed(?) a lot of expensive things like coffee and real maple syrup and good cheese.
Saturday: I picked up a sub sandwich
Sunday/Monday: Black Bean Tacos with Feta Slaw (my new recipe of the week from Cooking Light)
Tues/Wed: Pork chops with homemade applesauce and salad
Thurs: BLT
Friday - Not sure. I have one more pork chop but I am pork chopped out so we will see.
A good post and very real. I don't expect Kristen to share her family's or friends' issues, and in real life, most of our own issues ARE family's and friends' issues as well. You get the same thing in non-blog life -- people look at a family and think, wow, they have it all together, they are so lucky, when actually, no, that "lucky" family has a lot of problems, too, people just don't know it.
Okay, food:
I am, I think, going to hit right around my budget this week. I'm aiming for that, anyway. We'll see what this weekend's shopping brings.
We've had pork chops twice this week -- they were huge, bigger than I normally get from this farm, but it was all the farmer had at the time, until some more hogs were butchered. Therefore, they were multi-meal chops. We had them with beets, mashed potatoes, then peas, and corn on the cob.
We had homemade sauerkraut, with potatoes and knockwurst.
We had a dinner salad one night because I needed something light.
Tonight we will eat out. I have an appointment in a town two hours from here, which will end around 5:30, and I'm fasting for the appointment. So yes, we will be heading to a restaurant as soon as I'm done with the appointment.
I just received my Cook's Country pressure cooker cook book, and am excited to try recipes out of it with my new pressure cooker. Mac and cheese from a pressure cooker? I must try this!
I started a second blog just to share the ugly, and sometimes I think I shouldn't put it all out there, and other times I think thank goodness I have a place for that. Still, there are definitely no-share items. In every person's life, whether its a blog you use or not...I figure my readership is not so great that it would cause a problem for my dear ones..
We've had two nights of leftovers this week because I am putting my foot down and refusing to cook brand new big meals when there is already stuff in there to eat! If my peeps are feeling super picky there is peanut butter for them. I pack what I can for my lunches, too. Our grocery bill is too high for me to toss food!
Yes - we all have had, are going through, and/or will go through difficult times in the future. It's inevitable. That is why we should ALL strive to show love and compassion at all times. Look for ways to help others. Thanks for this post, Kristen! Blessings to you and your family.
Hi Kristen
I try to eat a big ol salad every day for lunch as I'm more tempted to eat worse-for-me-foods for dinner with my kids. Awhile ago I started marinating my chicken pesto-style with a recipe from Mel's Kitchen Cafe. I absolutely love it and adds WAY more flavor to my salad. I marinate a family pack of chicken breasts at a time, grill them, and freeze to pull out as needed. It may help your chicken pesto pasta if you ever made it again.
https://www.melskitchencafe.com/pesto-grilled-chicken/
Oooh, that sounds delicious!!
One of the things that I really appreciate is that you are respecting others(especially your children) by not telling stories that aren't entirely yours. I think it teaches our children so much when they see that there are things that are just for the family, or those people involved. Additionally it helps build a relationship where they trust you not to tell everyone about their embarrassing or sensitive moments.
Yes! And everyone has a different threshold for how much they feel comfortable sharing. I have a different privacy comfort level than some of my kids do, so I need to default to their level when I'm talking or sharing about them.
And when I'm just talking about me, then I can share whatever's comfortable for me and my privacy standards.
Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate that you honor your family so much on this blog! Many blessings to you guys:)
Oh man, I am so jealous of the peaches!
I'm glad to hear that things are getting better for you. I hope everyone else who is struggling right now gets closer to having a charmed life.
The peaches ARE fabulous. I hope some come your way soon!
Hi Kristen, I too love the fact that you keep your families stories private. I enjoy reading your blog for the positive side of life that it shows, but without being 'perfect'.
I wanted to say that one reason I read your blog regularly is that even on your bad days you manage to deal with things with grace and you always seem to find the positive. That means that I can come here on *my* bad days for a reminder that life is better when you actively cherish the good. Thank you for your honesty, and for taking the time to share the joy in your life.
I'm so glad that my blog cheers you up! Thank you for the encouragement.
Monday- Subway steak sandwiches
Tuesday- Burritos: hamburger, flour tortillas, sautéed onions and green/yellow/red peppers, grated cheese, lettuce, and salsa.
Wednesday- Salmon, mixed veggies, and brown rice
Thursday- Baked chicken and zucchini
Friday- Pepperoni pizza
We've been in Vegas all week, but we are staying in a condo with a full kitchen so we've had breakfast and lunch here every day and then eating out for dinner at night. It's been killing me to pay the bill for six of us to eat out on the strip every night, but at the same time I know that this is still far cheaper than what we could spend. We haven't spent over $120 for a meal so I have to remember that these are memories, and we've had some good food too.
I think my approach to blogs is somewhat superficial. By that I mean that I read them for the specific focus of the blog (usually living the frugal life). I never assume the blogger is writing everything about their life (thank goodness!). Perhaps in this age of social-media-oversharing people expect that they're seeing the totality of the OP's life?. I choose to spend very little time on social media because, honestly, I don't care what people have for dinner or what restaurant they were at or even all their vacation photos; I use social media for ideas, inspiration, and research. Maybe that's weird? Anyway, I love this blog specifically for the glimpse into how you and your family live frugally.
I have to remind myself constantly that things online aren't always what they seem because so much in my life is definitely not public online (like on Facebook). It's a hard thing to remember but it's good to have a reminder of it too, so thanks.
A good example is the fact that we bought 2 brand new cars in 2015, within 3 months of each other. On the surface, it looks like we're doing so well! In reality, it was the cheapest option for our budget (we're leasing them) and replaced our 2002 and 2093 cars, whose transmissions died within months of each other, and would have cost over $2,500 each to replace. So, things aren't always what they seem for sure.
Thank you for such a thoughtful responce to a reader's question. I'm not on facebook, I know that I Personally find it difficult to distinguish between highlights and real life. I never feel like that reading your blog. It inspires me in many ways. I'm also totally inspired reading the comments.... I think we're a pretty good bunch here at Frugal Girl x
I love the positivity of your blog. I'm older, and when we grew up, we were taught to not "air dirty laundry". Then talk shows came out, now social media. You are a breath of fresh air! I get the benefit of sharing struggles, with close friends only, and I respect that you keep your family's privacy a priority.
I like your blog because of your positivity and also because you show not only the wins, but also the failures. You are a real person, and you show it. You also give some pretty good advice! I respect the fact that you don't overshare. No need to. You have to do what you are comfortable with, and I think you do a great job with it. Take care!
I also agree and admire your ability to determine what is private and what is public and what to share where.
A side note- I have thought many times over the years that I could use some short-term professional therapy or that my husband and I could benefit from a few sessions of marriage counseling. But it's NOT frugal! It's several hundred dollars a session! Our insurance doesn't cover this, and there are not low-cost services around that I could ever find. And I have tried. So that only increased my stress and feeling of financial anxiety. Any thoughts on that? I do attend Twelve Step support groups (Al-Anon Family Groups and Nar-Anon Family Groups, which are free, super-wonderful, and widely available, but not everyone has those issues.
Jenny, often a pastor will provide counseling. If you are both readers, there are so many books out there. My favorite is Love and Respect. Eye opening for me.
Oh man, that stinks! Our insurance does cover it as long as you go to a participating provider, but we have a really high deductible. So, visits are only about half covered at this point.
Do you belong to a church? Sometimes churches will offer this sort of thing for free or for a reduced rate.
I hope some of my other readers have ideas for you.
Counseling/therapy has been a game-changer for me, too, so I wanted to pass this along, from over the years:
I got Counseling for $50 a session at a big church that has a highly-trained and-experienced therapist on staff.
Also got therapy reduced from $100/session to $50---without even asking!--at another place bec I mentioned having to decrease frequency due to finances.
Also have the huge gift of absolutely free therapy for our family from a highly-specialized therapist (Attachment work w/our adopted child)...again, without asking!!
She said she wanted to do it because of our (heartbreaking) story (I was sobbing in her waiting room the day I went in to ask about costs there---not on purpose!) and because her husband and mine share similar history.
Wow---otherwise, $400 /session.
And a women's center had a sliding scale that made it $5 a session when I was unemployed. (Granted, that was more than 30 years ago.)
Hope this encourages you!!
I used to be involved with a group and I would cringe at what some of the women shared about their teenagers. Yikes it felt so disrespectful to me... Thanks for not doing that! I have a wonderful relationship with my grown daughters and I'm sure part of it is because I tried my best to treat them with the same dignity I wanted to be treated with.
I love your posts, you, and your family . I love your integrity and insight . This is a wholesome , drama free place to sit a while and take a quiet moment. And if I ever get the knack of pizza dough ,it will be delightful .
Every time I read one of your posts like this, I wish we went to the same church and were friends in real life! You just sound like such a great person and frankly, you sound like a couple of my best and greatest friends. The ones you do not see all the time, but just pick right up with when you do because you are so like minded!
While it encourages me that you also have "kid issues" or " teen issues" just like me, I love that you respect your family so much not to share them. The bottom line is, our family members are People too. And sometimes, "people" do not mesh all of the time whether it is personalities, or just having a bad day.
If I can give a stranger a break for having a bad day, I should be more than giving to those I love...
Keep up the good work, my friend!
Aww, I'm sure lots of us here could be great friends in real life. If only...
Really thoughtful of you to respond with kindness and honesty to that reader who is having a tough summer.
"Thank you" for always taking time to listen and write back to your readers. Love your generous spirit and hoping that God always listens to answers your prayers Kristen. You are so genuine !!
Oh, I love to chat with you guys! I love that so many of you take the time to leave comments, especially in the current internet climate where fewer and fewer people leave comments on blogs.
I find there are two types of blogs I enjoy reading, when it comes to family/domestic stuff: I like ones that focus on finding job in little things (like you do here!) and I like ones that take the ordinary difficulties that moms face and make them really, really funny (Jen Fulwiler comes to mind immediately, but I know I read a few others that are great at that). Or, people who do both, like Rachel Jankovic.
But I'm not sure anybody really wants to read a blog about a stranger's struggles. We might think we want to, but I'm not sure we would.
That was meant to be "joy," not "job." 🙂
I think you're right. It would get old after a while! At least, if that's the main focus of the blog, it would.