A reader question about job loss
A reader left the following comment on my post about how to prepare for unemployment. Her situation is heart-breaking, and I hope that you all will help me come up with some helpful suggestions for her (I asked her for permission to share her question here). I'll offer up a few ideas of my own, and then open up the floor to you guys.
Okay, brilliant women, I need some advice for my situation. I am a law enforcement officer for the state of Ohio and have been notified I will be out of a job by 7/1. The last two years have already been horrendous...divorce, death, illness and near financial ruin. I am a single mom with a pair of teenagers in an $800 per month apartment, lots of student debt and about $20,000 in consumer debt I got saddled with in the divorce. I have no savings except retirement savings that I won't be able to access until 3 months after my job loss. I have been searching for a lower cost housing option, but the lesser rent options are in drug infested neighborhoods. I can't buy another house because my credit took a hit during the divorce. Unemployment will be less than half of my salary and I get only a bit of child support because I earn more than my ex. I plan on going back to school to get my Masters and earn my teaching degree. Is there hope for me?
First off, I'm so sorry about all the difficulties you've had over the last few years. That's a LOT to deal with, especially in a short amount of time.
I don't know all the details of your situation, so some of my advice may be impractical for you....I'm just going off of what I know from your comment.
Given that you're already saddled with student debt and consumer debt, I'm not sure I'd recommend going back to school right now, especially if you plan to be a teacher. As I'm sure you know, teachers don't tend to earn a large salary, and trying to pay back student loans x 2 plus $20k of consumer debt would be really, really hard.
If you do want to go back to school, I'd advise that you look for another job (plus maybe a part-time job as well) to work for a year or two, and during that time, cut your expenses as much as is humanly possible so that you can make some progress on paying back your debt. Then you'd be in much better shape to consider going back to school.
Here are a few things I'd suggest to you.
1. Look beyond apartment complexes for lower-cost rent options. Check Craig's List, the PennySaver, and other such listings to see if a person in your area is renting out an apartment. Maybe someone has a basement apartment for rent or a mother-in-law suite up for rent. Mr. FG and I lived in a basement apartment for the first several years of our marriage and the rent there was much lower than at apartment complexes.
Also, consider downsizing your apartment. If necessary, one of you could sleep on the couch in the living room so that you can get away with fewer bedrooms. That's not ideal, of course, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
2. Look for a part-time job now. I don't know if that's possible with your schedule, but if you can pick up a few hours at a part-time job, you could put that money into a savings account so that you're not completely without money when your current job is over.
3. Eat as cheaply as possible. The grocery bill is one of the few bills that you've got a fair amount of control over, so take advantage of that. Drink only water, eat more vegetarian or light-on-the-meat meals, eat oatmeal instead of breakfast cereal, eat cheaper produce (apples instead of strawberries, bananas instead of mangoes), and whatever you do, don't eat out. Almost anything you eat at home will be cheaper than eating out, and in a situation as desperate as yours, you can't afford to eat out.
4. Sell your stuff. If you've got anything sitting around your apartment that you don't need, sell it, and put the money into your emergency savings account.
5. Keep a spending diary. Your budget may have some small money leaks that you're not really aware of, and writing down every single penny you spend will help you to be aware of those. Find the leaks and plug them!
6. Get rid of any non-essential bills. Be ruthless. Cable TV, cell phones, new clothes, and even extra-curricular activities for your kids need to go when times are this hard. If your kids want to be involved in something, help them find a part-time job to pay for the activity.
7. Look into what aid may be available to you. Local churches may offer you some assistance, and you may qualify for some public assistance in the form of things like food stamps.
Hang in there, and I pray that things will get easier for you soon.
Readers, what advice would you offer to this single mom?
Today's 365 post: Like mother, like daughter
Joshua's 365 post: Off the Deck
If you do return to school, you can actually defer the payments on your student loan until you are done. Just notify the lender.
Call all of your other debtors and speak to them about lowering interest rates/renegotiate the bills. It's not a fun process, but explain your circumstances. Not all will be sympathetic, but a few will try to work with you. They would rather have something than nothing.
Since your kids are teenagers, ask them to get jobs to pay for any extras that they need. That way, they learn a sense of responsibility and pride in hard work and you don't have to stress about not being able to provide the "extras" for them.
I hope this helps. I used to teach financial education classes before I became a SAHM, so unfortunately, I've known a lot of people in your situation. You are in my prayers. Best of luck!
Along those lines, even if you don't go back to school right away, you can still apply for a hardship deferral for your student loans. As long as you keep them informed of what's going on and submit the necessary forms, they are usually quite helpful and generous in approving deferrals.
Some student loans actually let you have an unemployment deferment. Of course most also have a limit to how long you can defer because of unemployment. If they are Stafford loans you don't incur interest during that period, however others probably will incur interest during the deferment.
Some student loans associated with teaching in certain areas are actually forgiven because teachers are desperately needed there. Ask at the college where you're planning to study. Someone can help you out there with other deferment possibilities too.
Paula is thinking along the same lines as I was! Student loan forgiveness for teacher in low-income areas. In Oklahoma, if you teach 5 years in a low-income area, your student loans are wiped out. They are on deferment while you are fulfilling that five years. Also, you said you were going to try to obtain your Master's. Assuming you already have a Bachelor's, you may also check in to Alternative Teacher Certification in your state. This would help you get in a position quickly, and also look for teaching jobs or other jobs that have a Tuition Reimbursement program for their employees.Your State Department of Education or local university should be able to provide you with information on these things.
I completely agree with most of what FG says. I'd add...be ruthless with the kids as well. I grew up with a single mother and a sister, so our dynamic was similar to yours. We were always poor...so at least none of our hardship was new, but they need to get jobs and completely sponsor any activities that they do...other than dinner 🙂 Myself and my sister paid for our own school lunches, we paid for our cheerleading uniforms, our band equipment...everything. If it is truly important to them, they'll find a completely legal way of paying for it and it will teach them to be self-sufficient.
Also, I live in Ohio right now and I know that there are a ton of resources (I work for a housing non-profit) most people just don't know about them. Call 211 and ask for any and every Low-Income Tax Credit property in your area. Most of these are located in decent/nice neighborhoods and the rent is income and household size based. Also most of the state aid in Ohio is based on income and household size and since you have two kids, you will be allowed to have a "larger" income and still qualify, so don't wait to go to state aid. We all pay for these services with our tax dollars and we shouldn't be too proud or shy to use them when the time comes.
I wish you all the luck in the world and I know you'll get through this...just remember, the only way out is through.
You mentioned that the child support you're receiving isn't much due to your income being higher than your ex-spouse's. Since your income has now changed, can you have the child support amount increased?
It is sad to hear about your compounding problems.
If you are wanting to go back to school to get a masters because you think that it is required please check the regulations. From my understanding the law was or was going to be changed so that a masters was not required to be employed as a teacher in Ohio.
If you want to stay in Ohio I would suggest another path then teaching. Ohio has had a glut of new teachers recently, one of my former coworkers graduated with a sociology teaching degree a few years (4or 5) back. There were 10 social studies teaching positions that opened across the state of Ohio and she had over ten people in her class at one college competing for those jobs plus any out of work experienced teachers. Math and science I believe are a little better for teaching though.
If you are any where near Columbus, Franklin university is a good option for master's degree in business or related areas, if you are able to switch gears. They will work with your schedule around another job (or 2) and they have online classes. If you are going to school check online for text books, they are often cheaper then the bookstores on campus. Also see if you can manage with an older edition (they don't change the info a lot of times when they update text books).
Good luck. I'm an Ohio mom too, and I pretty much have to be stay at home because in my area there aren't jobs that pay enough to justify child care.
I'm not sure how it works in Ohio, but see if you can earn your teaching certificate first, and then get your Masters. Once you are teaching, many school districts here offer tuition reimbursement for advanced degrees.
I second the suggestion for your teens to get jobs---they can start being responsible for things like toiletries, school supplies---even the smallest contribution will ease your load.
Also, since your income is being reduced/eliminated, get your child support increased. If it was indeed based upon you earning more than your ex, then he'll need to pony up once you aren't.
I'm so sorry to hear about your job and the rough time you've been having. Like Kristen, my thoughts may not help your particular situation but here goes.
Maybe it's time to look at revising your child support agreement? You may not need a lawyer for this. Check your local library for self help legal books on modifying your support agreement that are specific to your state. If you have access to a public county law library, ask the librarian for books that will guide you through the process. Also ask about legal aid - you may be able to get help from an attorney at no cost.
A friend of mine who owned her own business lost a lot of work with the commercial real estate downturn. She filed for assistance as a displaced worker and ended up with about $30,000 toward re-training which she is using to get a computer degree at our local state university. Check your state and local agencies for displaced (or dislocated) worker benefits.
You might want to meet with a non-profit credit counseling agency about assistance with reducing your debt and expenses. Do NOT go anywhere that charges fees or wants you to file for bankruptcy. American Consumer Credit Counseling is really helpful - there is a lot of information right on their website and if you meet with them, they will probably have ideas we wouldn't think of here. (http://www.consumercredit.com/) (note: I didn't inspect this site carefully so I could be completely wrong about it being non-profit - buyer beware and so on)
I wanted to clarify that I'm not opposed to filing protection from your creditors, but just be careful about how you handle it. There are scams and fly by night companies advertising for debt relief that just cost you money in the long run.
There are also self help legal books on filing bankruptcy - you *may* not even need a lawyer for it. If you check out any books on the subject, make sure they are recent. The laws changed a few years ago. Bankruptcy is a federal issue so it shouldn't much matter if the books are specific to your state (unlike child support).
I am so sorry for what you have been through lately and admire the strength of single moms! Don't know if any of these suggestions will help but they are what came to mind.
I also live in Ohio and am wondering if returning to school to obtain a teaching degree is the best option for you right now. With the way things are going in our state, teachers are losing their jobs right now and as recent grad and new hire you would be one of the first to go in most districts.
I know that many people in our state are having a really hard time selling their homes and are resorting to renting them out instead, so maybe look beyond just apartments and see if a desperate homeowner would rent for less than an apartment.
Can you return to court and seek more child support once you are no longer earning more than your ex-husband? I am not sure how this works but it's a thought.
I always held a job as a teen in order to make my own spending/clothes/activity money. I do know that it's hard to find teen jobs right now in Ohio as teens are going up against adults for the same jobs since jobs are so scarce. Perhaps they would have better luck finding side jobs like babysitting? I would look beyond just families needing a night out and maybe contact churches in your area. I know our church often has trouble finding babysitters for events like Bible studies or other meetings even when we are willing to pay.
The church idea is a great idea. I wish you were in TX. We need someone for Sundays, Wednesday nights, and occasional various other nights in the week and have really struggled to find someone dependable.
I second the idea about writing down your expenses. It is not fun to keep up with all that for a few weeks, but it is worth it. My husband was out of work for 8 months last year. We lived really tight and spend no extras (the only time we went out to dinner was if our parents were treating). It was hard and frustrating and sometimes depressing, but we knew that it would not be forever. And it wasn't.
When I ended up divorced with two teenagers, I made sure that they were both totally aware of the money situation. They knew exactly what was up and participated in the decisions of the household. Jobs for them, possibly. I had other thoughts about that part. The money wasn't as tight for me. But I wanted them to understand why decisions were made and how they could participate in how we were living.
One positive that I see here is that you have a good 3 months to look for a new job. Don't wait until this job is over to start looking. Job searching takes a long time these days. Start right now and if a full time job comes up that you would like to do, take it even if this job hasn't ended yet. Believe me, if they're cutting your position, they've prepared themselves for the possibility that you will leave early. No one can expect you to stick around for a position that's ending if you find a good one and need to support your family.
I just found a job after two months of being unemployed and here are the things that worked best for me: 1) Tell everyone you know that you're looking for a new job and how to contact you if they know of anything; 2) Set a goal and apply for a certain amount of jobs each week; 3) If you haven't already, have someone else go over your resume and cover letter--people often catch mistakes the author can't see; 4) Talk with your current supervisor or co-workers and see if they'll let you use them as a reference and if they have any contacts who know of open positions (don't burn the bridges even if you have to leave early); and 5) Network! This can actually be done without spending any money. Talk to people in the library, during your son's activities, at community events, ect. If it fits in the conversation, mention that you're looking for a job. You never know when a stranger might be looking for someone like you!
Good luck! (Sorry about the length)
Take advantage of any government assistance that you qualify for... food stamps, HUD, etc.
Check out http://www.angelfoodministries.com.
You may have to live with a sister, your mom or some other family member until you get back on your feet.
Think about staying in law enforcement. It's easier to find a new job in your current field of work than going back to school, creating more debt and switching careers.
Sorry for your situation. Lots of good advise already shared. Here's my 2 cents. You have 3 months to prepare for the job loss. This is what I would do:
1-contact the X, yourself or thru an intermediary, and explain that effective 7/1, you are unemployed and will need help with child support. I assume it may take 3 months to officially get an increase in child support. Sooner is better than later in this case to get the ball rolling.
2-contact social services in town, find out what you WILL be eligible for, effective 7/1: SNAP (food stamps), lower rates on electricity, etc. Get a clear picture of what you need for documention, and see what assistance is available
3-contact the school social worker, they often have the inside scoop on several assistance agencies/programs. Contact the churches to see about what they can do to help. Food and clothing pantries, Catholic charities, etc.
4-how old are the teens? 13 is certainly different than 16. They should be working part time for their msc expenses such as movies out, clothes, make up, fast food.
5-bare bones budget NOW. Let subscriptions lapse,no eating out or take out, review all utilities, review phone/cell phone plans, no clothes shopping, kids got birthdays coming up? let family provide the new sneakers, jeans, etc. Go to the library and get some low budget cookbooks (also search the internet-lots of good info there), learn to cook if you don't already, get a toaster oven, crock pot-real electricity savers. Line dry clothes
6-sell off whatever you can that is unnecessary
7-can you relocate to a cheaper area in Ohio? Can you house sit, house share, is there family you can move in with? wherever you live, is there room for a garden, even a container garden? (SNAP pays for garden seeds and there are some free seeds to the needy programs out there)
8-I'd reconsider a job in education. That's where cuts are. Check into single Mom retraining grant programs.
9-transportation-do you have a car? do you NEED a car or is public transportation available? I was in Cleveland recently and remain in awe over their bus system.
HTH
Maybe look for a job on a college campus. With experience in Law Enforcement there might be something in Public Safety that would fit the bill. As a college employee you might qualify to take classes for free/reduced rate. Also, as your kids are approaching college age themselves, being on staff at a college might come in handy.
I was going to recommend the EXACT same thing! Also, I'm not sure how it is in Ohio, but in Mass jobs at colleges (especially public colleges) are very political. Since you've been working in law enforcement (public, I assume), ask around. Someone might know someone who can get you in. No one likes playing the politics card, but sometimes it's your best option.
I agree with everything everyone else is saying. Along with Kristen's advice of looking beyond apartment complexes online, also check out those free booklets with apartment/house rentals listed in the grocery store. Sometimes private rentals (through homeowners or smaller rental agencies) are much cheaper, much better situations to be in than large well-known apartment complexes.
Another thing I would suggest is trying to eat as cheaply but as healthily as possible. Instead of meat, try lentils or other nutrient-dense (but inexpensive) vegetarian options. A 1-lb bag of lentils in my area (across the border from you in PA) is only $1 and can feed my family of 4 for several meals vs 1lb of lean ground beef ($5-ish, for 1-2 meals).
If/when you find a new job and you need work attire but can't afford it, check out Dress for Success. Here's a link to their locations page - there are several listed in Ohio. http://dressforsuccess.org/dfs_affiliates.aspx
Revamp your resume and start posting it/sending it NOW. Even if it's for a job you don't necessarily want, but are qualified to do, something is better than nothing. You can always keep looking.
I wish you all the best, and I really hope that all the advice from this post helps you in some way!!
I was in a similar situation, only I was already in a lower-paying job.
My credit took a hit when my ex took me to court (for not paying on the mortgage of the house we co-owned), and I used every cent of my savings in legal bills and the end result was that my children still stayed with me. (My ex moved to live with his girlfriend in a town two hours away and wanted our kids to go with him.) He lost, I won, but he was a sore loser and made life miserable after the court awarded the children to me and so the legal battles continued.
In that time I was in a collision (not my fault) and car was totalled, my father passed away (my entire family lives overseas - I'm an expat living in the US) and I wasn't able to go home, and it seemed like I just owed money to everyone.
I downsized. Last week we moved from a 1,000 square foot apartment to a 600 square foot home. I have three children, so it meant I had to heavily downsize our furniture. Doing so, though, was a relief. It was nice to purge what I didn't want and keep only what I truly needed. My youngest child shares a room with me.
We don't live in the city anymore, and now live about thirty minutes away from where I was. The schools are better, the taxes are cheaper, car insurance/rental insurance is cheaper, and even my car registration was cheaper!
We eat meatless meals a few times a week and don't eat out. We don't have cable TV (I do have cable internet, though, but that is our one 'luxury' because I do some freelance work in the evenings.)
Our house is smaller than a friend's garage -- the 'garage Mahal' she refers to hers -- but I'm loving the simplicity of life and knowing that I made choices that help provide for my kids.
I'm all for encouraging the mother to pursue her education, but I know when I am in classes and taking care of my kids, my stress level is further elevated. I'd encourage her to wait until after this settles down.
I mentioned I have some freelance work I do in the evenings, in addition to my full-time job. I found this on Guru.com, but another source to find work is hour.ly. Given the mother's law enforcement work history, perhaps she could look for part-time hours doing investigative work, serving court notices, etc.
I second this motion...If the kids are old enough to get part-time jobs, that would keep them out of trouble while Mom works at 2nd job.
And besides cutting expenses to the bone, downsizing and selling off unnecessary items, I would sell my blood even to make ends meet!
I interned in an Indiana family court last summer, and I think you can definitely get some help with modifying child support. I looked up the Ohio code for modification of child support. It looks like you have to be unemployed for thirty days before you can file for a modification through the Child Support Enforcement Agency. If you guys aren't using the CSEA, you might be able to agree to the modification on your own. Just remember, most courts schedule hearings at least a month out. But the code definitely will allow a modification for child support due to a layoff. Most counties have a legal aid/pro bono clinic that will offer free or lost cost services--you might check with one of those to find out exactly what you need to do. Also, if you are near a university with a law school, many schools have student-run clinics as well that also offer free or cheap services. And, if you don't have either of those, swing by your family court office...if you are nice to the clerks, they can usually help with giving you the forms you need to start the process.
Forgot to add - If you haven't already, check into reduced or free lunches for your children at school. Our schools even offer this program during the summer months for qualifying kids. I think they serve the lunches in local parks in our area during summer. Even if your kids don't qualify right now while you are employed, check into what you need to do to be part of the program after your job ends.
A few years ago our local elementary school offered free lunches during the summer for anyone who walked in the door - adults as well as kids.
Due to your situation, you might qualify for a child support modification. Check with your state's office of support enforcement.
I am assuming your job loss has something to do with the new state budget and, therefore, funding loss. I am so sorry.
Education has been hit pretty hard as well. I know of teachers who were let go (for the next school year) before the budget came out... and more that had to be let go after. And, don't forget about Senate Bill 5! Going into education vs the cost of getting your degree(s), continuing education needed over time, etc is not worth it. Teaching is going to become one of the lowest income returns on the education required. (Now the kids - yes, they are worth it but I am assuming you will want to focus on your own right now.) I guess what I am trying to say, is don't jump ship to another ship that is sinking as well if you aren't wearing a lifevest.
The only thing that I can think of (and depending on your education right now), they are pushing charter schools here in Ohio. You don't need to have as much education and you don't need state licensure to teach at a charter school. You might want to look into that.
Financially, I am a fan of Dave Ramsey and I would have to recommend you take a look at his plan.
You said you have "lots of student debt"... If that is through the government (and not a private lender), see when you will qualify for a forbearance so that you won't have to make payments. Also, get on an income contengient payment plan so that your payments will be lower.
Otherwise, bare bones budget and start looking at what type of assistance is avaliable should you need it.
Good luck.
My husband & I both lost our jobs last year due to a plant closing. We both were lucky as we had about 6+ months to prepare, plus we saw the handwriting on the wall prior to the announcement so we prepared. We had eliminated our consumer debt, decreased expenses where we could, I became the coupon/stockpile queen, etc. Here's my recommendations for you: (1) Sit down with a bankruptcy attorney & discuss your options. It may be in your best interest to get rid of your consumer debt & have a clean slate. Doubt be embarassed if this is the option you take. I know its not what hardworking, responsible people like to do, but you will not believe the relief you will feel if you are able to qualify for a chapter 7 filing. You can always rebuild your credit & it won't take long. The money freed up, maybe able to keep you in the place you currently are at. (2) Check with your state's unemployment office. Your state may have a dislocated workers program in which you may qualify. This has been extremely handy for us as it has been paying expenses such as auto insurance premiums, reimbursement on license plate renewals, gas reimbursements for interviews, re-employment classes, etc. You may be surprised at what you may be able to get help with. (3) Pick up COBRA. We didn't & unfortunately, we had a major medical event occur about 1 week after the deadline to pick up COBRA. Now we have a high amount of medical bills which we are filing bankruptcy on in order to keep our house, vehicles, etc. Now my husband can only be insured through the federal pre-existing condition medical insurance program due to this event. We are under 50, but we took our good health for granted. (4) Contact your county social services about your current child support order. Due to your financial changes, you maybe able to get them to do the difficult work for you to get a higher monthly child support payment without hiring an attorney to do so. You may also qualify for health insurance and other benefits through them to help you out. Good luck to you! I know the road you are about to travel is scary, but once you get through it, you will be much stronger!
Regarding health insurance, I might suggest you look into options other than COBRA. COBRA is INCREDIBLY expensive (102% of the full cost of the insurance). At my company, COBRA costs a family (individual plus any number of dependents) $1,457.19 per month. And that is BEFORE any out of pocket costs (copays, deductibles, etc).
However, I fully support Annette's sentiments about having health insurance. Check with the state, try to find another job that offers health insurance, etc. Not being insured would put yourself and your family in a great deal of risk.
As for COBRA - PHOOEY ON THAT! You couldn't afford it when you were working full time. See if your husband will put the kids on his insurance, then you'll only have to worry about yourself. If he won't/can't, you and your kids might be eligible for some kind of medical care through your state.
My heart just breaks for you. I've been unemployed a few times, but I have only me to worry about. I know you feel panicked right now, but I'm sure you will be able to deal with it.
Just something to think about if you do decide to go down the bankruptcy route...it may impact your chances of working in the police in the future if you decide to go down that route...
I don't think you can financially go to school right now. I think you need to find employment right away. I think you need to talk to your employer to see if you can get transfered to another station in Ohio... and if not I think you should stick with your career and try to find another position in another state. This might mean moving to a less desirable city where living cost are lower.
These sound like good suggestions to me. I would like to say that getting a divorce creates about as many problems or more than it solves. I realize sometimes it is a necessity. Also going to college when one is older and has a lot of responsibilities is something that should be considered long and hard.
Unless you have a time machine, this is not a helpful suggestion.
Katy
Yep. It's a good thing to think about before you get divorced, but not so helpful afterward.
And it's appropriate to remind ourselves that divorce is not always mutually agreed-upon...sometimes, one partner really wants to stay married and the other does not.
Sometimes divorce is the best idea when you are in a dangerous situation too.
It's not the thing that I'm the proudest of but I think that it saved my life.
Absolutely! I can't stand it when people say don't get divorced as if they are talking to two reasonable individuals. Sometimes, for whatever reason, a spouse turns crazy and you absolutely must divorce for your and your children's safety!
Just to toss this out as a lead- everyone else's suggestions were fantastic on the money saving front. Try looking at your local (or even less local) hospital for employment. I know ours is perpetually looking for security staff (and we often get moonlighters from the local police force). Hospitals also generally offer tuition reimbursement/assistance if you pursue a degree that's relevant to healthcare somehow. (The one area of education that isn't getting the crunch is nursing educators... can't find enough of 'em.)
Something else I thought of...and something that effected my situation. My husband was let go and received 3 months of severence. He didn't look or interview much before he was let go b/c he didn't want to miss out on the severence (he had to stay until the end of the year to receive the severence). I could not convince him that a FT job with no end in site was much better than staying at a job that would just give him 3 months severence and then end (does that make sense). So, he didn't really look and once the severence ended he realized that I was right (whoa! stop the presses....he thought I was right) and it would have been better to possibly find FT work than wait for the job to end to get the severence. So, I guess what I am saying is look hard for a job now. If one presents itself......take it and don't look back.
Just chiming in to say that I think going back to school is a perfectly fine choice, even in difficult financial circumstances. You can always defer your student loan payments while you are in school, plus the new federal student loan programs are excellent with very low interest rates. The longer you wait, the harder it is to go back to school. If you see an opportunity to do it now, go for it. Having an advanced degree will *always* be a good thing in your life and provide you with more opportunities in the long run. Also, I would never want to discourage anyone from choosing a teaching career, despite the potentially low income.
I'm sorry I have to disagree if this degree will be in education - she'll have a masters which means schools have to pay her more and she will have only student teaching experience, which will put her on par in terms of educational experience with any other new teacher with only a bachelors. With tight school budget's I'd be afraid to risk it, I'm a teacher with 4 years of experience and I won't risk finishing my masters at this time because I want to switch jobs and don't want to price myself out of positions.
Check into Teach for America. They are specifically trying to recruit and train second career teachers and there are grants for school and tuition reimbursement programs. That said, you might want to wait until you have next year's taxes done to start school. That way you will qualify for more financial aid. Honestly, in your position, school shouldn't cost you anything. Of course, you will still lose available work hours and that will cost, but do the research and don't give up hope in your dreams. Sometimes when times get tough is the best time to evaluate a plan like this. Good luck sweetie.
Unfortunately, TFA is very competitive, and may require you to move. In addition, regardless of what *should* be, school will still be expensive because there are often many fewer opportunities for non-traditional students.
I think a more reasonable alternative would be to consider taking on a law enforcement position with a local four-year college, if possible. Most colleges and universities have some type of arrangement in which full-time, qualifying employees are able to take a course or two each year for free or at a reduced cost, with those courses often eligible to count toward a later degree from the same institution.
Good luck with your job hunt and school applications!
I think the past readers left some great suggestions. As for the college idea - see if you can find a private school to work at. My husband works for a private college and all employees and/or their children receive free schooling. Not all schools can do this but this is definitely a perk I would inquire about.
My other thought is to contact the United Way. There are several emergency response non-profits set up in each city to help families that fall in to situations that are out of their control.
First thought, depending on the ages of your kids, I'd have them get pt jobs to cover their spending money, school supplies and toiletries.
Second, I don't know how things are in your state, but in NY, the LAST thing you would want to go to school for is teaching. They are firing teachers and teacher aides left and right and there are NO openings. I am a certified teacher working 2 PT jobs for slightly over minimum wage. Be very thoughtful about going back to school for teaching.
Third, contact social services about food stamps, temporary assistance, etc.
Good luck.
I'm sorry to hear of the past few years and now this - this is a LOT to handle.
I have just a few thoughts in addition to the above:
- Potatoes are cheap and filling, don't forget about those plus beans/lentils/oats.
- Ask for help from your friends - you will need someone to talk to.
- Give up caffeine now if you're addicted. Along with any other addictions, like soda or smoking or alcohol, if possible.
- See if you can go on a spending diet; this practice can help in the future.
Good luck; we're thinking of you.
If you want to be a teacher, become a sub first. I had done that when my husband lost his job and we needed extra income. Eventually a position opened for a teachers aid and I was hired. If I wanted to become a teacher, then I had a better chance working at that school .Also, sometimes if you work at one or two schools and the staff gets to know you, if a teacher goes on maternity leave, you could become an interim sub and be in that position for several months .The principle had actually hired some subs into teaching positions as long as they were going to school to get their degree. The only problem with this, is because you are a new hire, when it comes time to come to budget cuts, you are the first to go. That's what happened to me, but at the same time it gives you a chance to see if you really want to become a teacher before spending all the money to go back to school. For me, it actually worked out fine, because I realized teaching is not for me :). Also, subbing is flexible, so you could work/go to school/look for job while making some extra income. I hope this helps with the teaching part.
Everyone has some really good suggestions. My husband and I also did a bunch of odd jobs that paid cash. Some of them were not pretty-digging ditches,crawling around warehouse attic spaces to put in wires...etc, but it was grocery money. We did whatever we could. Our son was very young and all we cared about was providing for him. You just have to be creative, cut back on everything, keep positive and know at some point there will be a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. Good luck!
Does your state have an alternative teacher certification program? Here in Texas we see billboards that say "Want to teach? When can you start?" You don't have to have the degree yet; you get to start teaching immediately and they help you along the way to getting your degree part-time over the next few years. It's possible they pay or at least greatly assist with the tuition, and there's a good chance some of the courses can be taken online (meaning you don't have to leave your kids so much).
Best of luck!
We lost our business, home, and were way underemployed for 10 months, so I am talking from experience.
1.) While you have the income, stockpile basic food on sale, dollar store / sale toiletries, laundry soap, anything you regularly use.
2.) Eliminate all extra expenses.
3.)See a couple of bankruptcy attorneys - they will give a free initial consult, and may also have valuable advice regarding your child support issues. Never allow yourself to get so poor that you can't file for bankruptcy. It is better to have a bankruptcy and then be able to rebuild credit than it is to just have bad debts you can't pay and added interest and penalties.
If your credit is already bad, it might pay to declare bankruptcy and get rid of the $20,000 debt you were left with after the divorce. You will still be stuck with student loans, but per the other posters you can defer those. Consult a local bankruptcy lawyer and see what your options are.
Also, if you have family in another part of the country, consider whether law enforcement or related jobs there are hiring, and consider whether moving might help. You might even be able to "crash" with someone for a while. Moving can be tough on kids, but so can poverty and uncertainty. Being in an apartment is actually an advantage for you, because you can move without worrying about selling a house.
I agree with everything posted above about cutting back now, researching social services, etc. I also suggest being really honest with your kids. Teenagers are old enough to understand the state of our economy, and should be eager to pitch in and help out the household.
I'm not sure if I saw this suggestion yet...if you are receiving unemployment, you may be eligible for free tuition assistance while collecting unemployment. Usually it doesn't help with advanced degrees, but check with your local community colleges to see if they have a technical retraining program in a field that might have higher wages!
I'm also in Ohio. Maybe you could substitute teach either full or part time? Also as she probably already knows we have a ton of smaller colleges doing the teacher certification programs (most subjects now require a masters for certification in Ohio.) Also I don't know if she would be into this, but I've heard of organizations that connect people to share homes---maybe she could find another single mom with kids who would be willing to share the cost? And despite the credit issues, there are many forclosure homes in our state sitting empty (per Sunday's Columbus Dispatch) that could be found. Good luck and God Bless, things are really tough here right now!
What is your Bachelors degree in? If it's something other that child development or education then you may qualify for a Teaching Fellows program or Teach for America. Through those programs you would get to defer your student loan payments, get someone else to pay for most of your Masters degree AND have a guaranteed job for at least two years in your local schoil district. Granted, you would probably end up in a tough school but with your background I'm sure you could handle it well. I know in DC that these programs save put of work professionals and if you stick it put you can get your student loans paid by the school district or grants after completing the program AND lots of discounts when you're ready to purchase a home.
*school
*out
(silly phone)
Could you stay with family for awhile rather than finding another place to rent. If you have someone to stay with, you could offer to pay them a much smaller amount of rent. Perhaps $400 a month instead of the $800 you are paying now?
While I first thought you might want to think twice about going back to school right now, I think it's actually a great option for you. While you're in school, you can defer your current student loans. You can also take out a lot more in federal student loans when you are working on your masters than a bachelors. You could potentially borrow more than you need to help with your living costs. However, I caution you to think about this option very seriously. In the end, it means having to not only pay off your education, but also interest on money you put towards rent, groceries, etc.
Another thing I would think about before deciding to go back to school is the viability of your degree. Right now, teachers are being laid off right and left. While the worst of the economic depression is behind us, local, state and federal governments are still struggling to create budgets. Many of my friends who were teachers or worked in schools lost their jobs because of budget cuts. They've since all gotten new jobs, but most were not teaching positions. I've considered becoming a teacher, but decided against it. You should research the job market for teachers in your area to see if there is a high demand. If not, in 2 years, you could end up with a nice degree, a lot more student loans, and no job in sight.
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles. As I read of your situation a couple of things popped into my head. One....pray! I'm not kidding! God can accomplish all that we cannot do on our own. Two.....have u considered approaching an upscale housing/timeshare complex that requires security and would it be possible to acquire accommodations in exchange for security/maintenance services? You may end up in better living conditions than u currently have which may benefit your teenagers as well.
As for school....check out Dave Ramsey and his thoughts about going into further debt to further an education.
Just a suggestion and I realize that sometimes solutions do not come easy to complex problems but keep looking up! God bless!
I couldn't have made it thru the last 3 years without Prayer and God. I couldn't make it thru this life:-) Just when I thought I would break God would send a blessing(letting me know he was still there and still GOD.
Dave Ramsey is a wonderful program.
I understand what you are going thru. I too live in Ohio (Richland County) and jobs are so scarce. I went 13months before I found a job. Lost my car, only had 4 months left to pay on it, my confidence, my motivation. First of all - find a support system!!! My husband, family and church family kept me going. Find someone that you can cry to and that will just listen. Find local food banks - angel food ministry is on line and they offer food at extremely low prices and it is good. Most food banks and AFM you dont have to show proof of income. It's hard, VERY hard to go stand in line to get free food- but you have to eat. Start shopping Save A Lot or Aldi's - Save a lot has wonderful food. Use Coupons. There is so much that we went thru and adjustments that we had to make. But it really brought us closer and closer to our friends, you would be suprised how many people are dealing with this same issue. SCHOOLING - you might be eligible for free schooling thru Ohio Department of Job and Family Services since your job is being eliminated. Check into the medical industry(people always get sick) Other than that just Hang On. It does get better. I have a full time job(I got a job and then my husband got laid off) been there a year - They are the best people to work with. I hope this helps - If you need to vent or yell or whatever - email me. I'll be more than happy to listen. Praying for you and your family. You will find out how tough you really are!
I don't have any real practical advice to offer, but I can certainly say a prayer or two for that woman. And then a frivilous piece of advice - you are obviously going to have to cut fun things like eating out, cable and movies out of your life if you haven't already. Don't forget your local library. You can rent movies for free and have family movie night with your kids.
It's me, the future unemployed mom! First, Kristen...thank-you for being willing to share my story and get these amazing women to start thinking for me. I have had so many ideas/problems running through my mind that I've been a bit immobilized. I have not had a chance to read all of your suggestions (I'm at lunch), but will do so tonight. Thank you so much for your prayers, ideas and support. I'm overwhelmed...tears.
I have been going through a really nasty, domestic violence divorce, without a job. Yes, I have a degree, but as so many have noted, jobs can be difficult to find. I encourage you to have faith that God will see you through. I would try to figure out how to get the child support increased; your situation changed, the courts should do that. I know it is discouraging to pile on more debt, but having done part of my divorce as Pro Se, I would tell you it is worth the debt, unless you are more legally minded than I am:) You could also check out this website to see if it directs you any: http://www.womenslaw.org/. They have some good ideas.
Also, I have a hard time getting Medicaid and food stamps, but do it. It is worth whatever pride you may have about getting that kind of assistance. They will do it temporarily, and you just show them how much income you really have.
Outside of those things, here is how I have gotten by. 1) I buy bulk groceries, and look for low-priced meats that are good quality. 2) I have learned to make my own cleaning supplies, laundry soap and dishwasher soap. 3) I am working on growing things in pots. 4) I don't pay for many services; I get them free. I know that I cannot afford to take chances until I am financially stable. 5) Scour Goodwill. Kristen has helped me to understand the techniques involved in shopping there. We have gotten great toys, books, clothes and a few kitchen items. I can't go to yard sales very easily (I have a special needs son), but I could see you might be able to do that and get some good deals. 6) I LOVE Dollar Tree---enough said:)
I will pray for you and your children. Even if your back is up against the wall, pray, and He will deliver you. Yes, it can be really overwhelming, but keep reaching out! By the way, I wrote an article on Christian divorce, if you want a copy. Kim:)
Ah! Something concrete I can offer. Homemade, WilliamB-tested cleaning products.
Windex:
1/2 c. white vinegar, 1 t. dish soap, 3 c. water
Soft Scrub, toilet bowl cleaner:
baking soda + enough water to make it a sludge. It doesn't stick as well but it's a LOT cheaper, especially if you buy baking soda in bulk (as opposed to the 1 lb boxes in the baking section).
Fruit Wash:
1 c. white vinegar + 3 c. water
Laundry Detergent:
I haven't determined whether this elaborate procedure is necessary, but since it takes <10 min, I haven't experimented.) This works in HE and regular washing machines
1/4 bar soap
3 c. hot water
1/4 c. washing soda (found in the laundry aisle, in stain fighters)
1/4 c. Borax
bucket with lid, at least 1 gal (I use a 5 qt ice cream bucket)
2 c. hot water
2 qts cool water
3 c. hot water
- Shred or grate soap, dissolve in 3 c. hot water.
- Add soda and Borax, mix till dissolved. It'll become gelatinous.
- Put 2 c. hot water in bucket.
- Add soapy water, mix well.
- Add cool water, mix well.
- Add hot water, mix well.
- Let sit 24 hrs.
- Use 1/4 c. per HE load, I guess 1/2 c. per regular load.
I haven't found a sub. for 409/Fantastik yet but eco-minded friends use a mix of white vinegar and water; still waiting to learn the proportions of the mix.
This isn't going to sound frugal but hear me out. Shaklee sells an all purpose concentrated cleaner called Basic H. You can clean anything with it - I even put it in my bath water. It's a great degreaser. Yes, it's about a dollar an ounce by the time you pay for shipping but, it is so concentrated that you only need to buy it about once a year. I keep a spray bottle in the kitchen with about four drops of Basic H mixed in water and it cleans everything. The only time I use it full strength is for serious laundry stains.
You might qualify for a house with Habitat for Humanity. If you do you have a mortgage but pay only principle, never any interest. That would allow you to have a stake in real estate for a very reasonable monthly payment.
Everyone has left such great suggestions. I just wanted to say that while all this will be hard on you and your family, I am willing to bet it will bring you so much closer together. Faith combined with proper research and planning will get you through. Be honest with your teenagers, they will understand and may have ideas to help as well. Remember TEAM - Together Everyone Achieves More.
I hope you will update Kristen on your progress so she can update her readers.
I'm really sorry about your situation and I've actually read this post a few times today wondering if I should comment.
I had a very messy, and very young marriage that I left almost as soon as it began (years ago). I somehow managed to still absorb a lot of his student debt though which was galling and just about buried me for awhile.
My only advice is to start calling those creditors and see if there is any sort of loan forgiveness program that you can hook into, tighten your belt and believe that this horrible situation is short-lived.
I'm many years away from it now with a loving husband and a young child. I could not have imagined my life like this as a 25 year old divorcee who was REALLY struggling but I didn't lose hope.
Most advice has been given here by now, and most of it I followed myself...I just closed a dark chapter of 1.5 years of unemployment, divorced (no money for a final divorce, so we separated) single mom, (no child support, because husband is still paying another ex back child support) of an 8 year old. We had no TV, ate cheaply and I lived in a room on a farm (no running water in the building, so we had to walk to another building on the property for the bathroom, shower, and kitchen). We learned to live and be grateful with a lot less. Hardest thing was to stay positive, upbeat and enthusiastic. After hundreds of job applications and interviews I landed a new job after Christmas las year. Still very afraid to enjoy my work for fear of getting laid off again. I do continue to enjoy to live with less, got rid of a lot f stuff and we still do not have cable TV, instead we just watch movies. Please keep the faith, take care of yourself, create a team spirit with the children, meditate and continue to educate. Know you're not alone!
XOMO
Talk to someone at the Ohio Benefit Bank (http://www.thebenefitbank.com/TBBOH). They do a GREAT job and can help you get ready for 7/1. Also look into Summer Meal sites for your kids this summer. You can do it!
Hi! Your law enforcement skill is a huge asset. Use your assets. My husband is a corrections officer and it gives us a lot of security knowing there is a lot of side work or security work he could do. Right now a lot of reception halls require the groom and bride have a security guard. You could make $250 each weekend night doing security at weddings. Look around at local reception halls and ask to be added to their vendor list. You can expense a lot at tax time for having your own business. Doing security for a university may give you a discount on tuition if you still want a career change. Virtually everywhere needs security. As a woman you could blend in easier as a loss prevention officer in stores. I see a lot of those jobs too. There are a lot of security contract companies. Wackenhut is one. Even cleaning companies need a security guard on hand while people are cleaning at night. You have a lot going for you!
Try your best to look for another enforcement job. Believe in yourself! Life WILL make a WAY!
First of all I want to tell you-You WILL get through this. And you will be ok. It's going to be scary and a long haul but you can do this. THINGS do not matter. You and your kids matter.
First I would recommend going to your local library and finding a Dave Ramsey book. You will find a lot of guidance with his books and website. He has an hour free podcast on his website or find him on the radio to listen to it. Feeling like you are the only one going through this-like you failed-those will only undermine you. Listening to DR's show helped us to know that we were not alone. And we were not broken.
Next, if you are Christian, I would encourage you to find a church if you don't have one and plug in. If you do, get with your pastor. Support and guidance are huge.
If your kids are old enough (and they seem to be) be honest. This is a family emergency and they are old enough to help you get through this.
When our family went through unemployment these are the things that we did:
Figured out our bare bones budget. We were ruthless. We went pre-paid cell (with net 10 we manage spending $15/month on cell phones max). We bought a $10 antenna for the tv and cancelled cable (and frankly we never actually got it again). We found EVERY possible community service available to us and every possible place to get free wi-fi. You can use the computers at the public library. As a matter of fact, you'd be surprised at how many resources you can find at the library. We were already a from scratch kitchen family but we got great with beans and rice. We did not eat out. Ever. We found our best option for health insurance ahead of time to ensure no lapse in coverage. Your kids, since they are under 18 may qualify for a program in your state if there is one. Cobra, for us was WAY out of reach. We found a decent PPO through our state Farm Bureau. Check yours. You might be surprised. If your ex is employed get your kids covered by his plan and then find basic emergency coverage for yourself. You may have to go back to court for this but if he's employed and has the option then this will help keep your kids covered. Check out Angel Food Ministries. They are often through churches. If you have a car that has a payment sell it and get a beater that will get you from point A to point B. Check into how to get Section 8 housing if you need to. Downsize if you have to. See if you can find a place to trade some of the rent for work. I would not recommend adding school debt right now. A masters will not guarantee you a job. And it will put you further in debt. See if you can sub teach for now with your current qualifications. You'd be surprised.
Get yourself ready now for worst case scenario now. Do not wait. Start cutting now. Start trying to find a job now. We planned for 2 years for a military transition and we still ended up unemployed for 5 months. But we got the research done ahead of time to know our options. We learned a ton. It was scary but we survived. You will too.
Blessings to you and your kids.
My heart goes out to you. It sounds as if you have a lot of great advice here to help you think of some possible options. If prayer is something you would consider, I think it would help you to make these very important choices you are needing to ponder. Hugs. Juli
My heart goes out to you during this difficult time in your life.
First, let me say that so many of us have been in similar situations (myself included). You're doing the right thing to be as proactive as possible. Ask anyone & everyone for advice, assistance, & tips. Many great auggestions above for living as frugally as possible ~ read them and put into action as soon as possible.
On the idea to become a teacher: I am a teacher of many years, both public & private. The field of education is undergoing dramatic changes right now and it's a very challenging job. I've seen many, many frist year teachers leave the profession in less than 3 years ~ maybe being a police officer will have some advantage for you. You may consider that most middle & nearly all high schools have police officers in school now full-time - is that a possibility for you?
** My #1 suggestion to you: Check with you local library. My mother is a libraian and most citizen's simply do not comprehand the fantastic amount of free resources and training offered by libraries. Try to speak with a librarian, not the person checking out books who may not be training in community resources. Also, if you are certain you wish to attend continuing education, visit the education departments at local colleges and speak to a professor or financial aid officer. Some of mine were able to offer financial resources to me that I was unaware of before entering as a student~wish I had known before I paid my tution!!
Best of luck to you, keep you chin up and see this as an opportunity, not a crisis. Just when I thought I would never recover from a divorce and financial disaster, I went on to live my drem life in just a few years....it can happen!! =)
My heart goes out to you also! There has been a wealth of great ideas. Just wanted to ass, I was once in a similar situation. I rented a one bedroom apt., my two kids had the bedroom, and I had a foamy that lived behind the couch in the day and I slept on at night. it was the best bed i have ever had. We did not have a TV,car ect. Looking back it was one of the best times in our lifes. My kids say so to. We went to the libary, palyed lots of games, made fires at the beach. i learnt many valueble lessons and so did my kids. Love to you, and best wishes, you will be ok.
1) Go to a local university or community college counseling office and see what financial aid or funding is available. Instead of loans, as a single mom returning to school you could qualify for some "free money."
2) Buddy up with another single mom and rent a house (perhaps there is someone at your workplace who is in the same boat?) My friend Donna was a single mom and she shared a house with two other single moms and they all worked in fast food minimum wage jobs until they were able to get back on their feet.
3) If there is public transportation that can get you to work or a new job, sell your car now and put the money in an emergency fund.
4) Get a weekend and/or night job (perhaps at a restaurant?) and save up money for a first month's rent (which you'll need in July)
5) Put your sons to work (if they are in HS) Maybe they could contribute to the family income. I hostessed and waited tables starting when I was 15. Of course not at the risk of school work, but as a way to teach them responsibility and to make ends meet for a little while. With my job I was able to pay for my own school supplies and clothes as well as extra activities like field trips and proms. It taught me a lot and I felt very proud to earn my own way.
6) Ask your job if there is a possibility of returning as a "consultant" in some capacity after the lay-off. My dad was let go from Sears and then returned as an independent contractor for another five years (which helped him finance his teaching credential).
7) As soon as you lose your job, file in court to get the child support changed.
8) If you have your BA or AA, sign up at a bunch of school districts to be a substitute teacher. This would give you an income and teaching experience. I do not know what the regulations are for your location, but in Calif, all you need is CBEST (a basic skills test) and a degree to substitute teach. And, depending upon the school district, it can pay $100-150 a day.
9) I have never been a single parent, but I worked three waitress jobs to put myself through college, and I am living proof that it IS possible. I went to school T/Th mornings, worked 3 or 4 days of lunches (whatever I could get), then 3 dinner shifts (Thurs/Fri/Monday) and 2 cocktail shifts (Friday/Sat). I used to change uniforms in my car. It sounds bad now, but I worked about 30-35 40 hours a week, had plenty of time to study and it was OK (as a temp solution).
10) plant a garden (even if it is in pots on the driveway. Even a few tomato or lettuce plants can help with your fod budget.
Get your kids on board. Reassemble your family without their Dad in it day to day. The dynamics of your family has changed and the way you operate should too. If you are up front with your children and give them your expectations, you might be surprised what they will do. I wish you the best of luck. You can do it.
It varies by school systems, but you could check into whether or not your kid's schools have free or reduced breakfast/lunch. If so, it would save you a lot of money on your grocery bills.
I got rid of all jewelry to cover job loss expenses by selling it to the highest paying gold buyers. You can also work and do school online. I know of a family in that situation who got a job at Mc Donald's and she hired on her teens when she became manager. They got free drinks and one free meal a day plus discounts. They also got help with their school program. They then got an on line education and are now doing other jobs. This helped with food and they all got jobs. I cut all expenses. Can you get roomates and rent a house that is a little more expensive? They could help cover half the cost and it would be more roomier. Good luck.
Chik-fil-a is an excellent company to work for, for your kids. The founder, for religious reasons, treats his employees as human beings and that ethic permeates the company.
Remember to pray.
I (we) am praying too.
When I first came into this country we were very poor too. My family of 4 lived in a rented out garage with no AC in the bottom of Florida! We borrowed $200 dollars that were to last us 2 weeks. We slept off of mattresses (without sheets, since we didn't own any) laid out some of our clothes on top. We were eaten by bugs since the mattresses came form the alley. We ate from sourcream containers and my mom made 4 meals out of one chicken. We had sugar tea since we couldn't afford juice. I can go on and on. Honey, use your resources like one said and PRAY. God was there for us and provided people who came to our need. We didn't stay like that very om=ng, only a few months so cheer up and know God is looking and taking car of you all!
Where exactly in Ohio do you live?
Southwest...near Dayton.
I wonder if with your background you could teach ROTC at a local high school by getting an alternative teaching license. Here in Indiana, if you can pass the Praxis II content area exam and document your work history, you will get a license to teach that area.
Other than that, as a teacher myself, I would advise against going back to school for teaching. There is very little job security in it right now due to new legislation and extreme cut backs are going to make it difficult to find employment.
What is your undergrad degree in? How bad is your credit?
As a public school (career changer) teacher- I would recommend not doing Teach for America etc. because they inadequately train you to be a teacher. You are also put in a school where it is hard to staff veteran good teachers. The turn over rate is high, and you most likely will not stay a teacher- look up TFA retention stats. No school districts are hiring right now and all the subs in the area stuck being subs for 5-7 years unless they luck out or have alternate certs like special ed. If I were you, do not go back to school right now.
I second the idea of picking up security guard work at night at a museum or something similar. Can you do some childcare? You can work at a private school without a cert...
Cut up those credit cards and use cash.
I was in a similar situation 6 years ago...sudden loss of job, home and everything else...I lived on unemployment for a year...very frugally. My teenager got a part time job after school and on weekends. The only money I spent was on bills, rent, food and basic needs. I also had huge debt that I was paying down. I still live very simply, work part time, and am still paying off debt.
Take some time to breathe and then start organizing your thoughts on paper. Tackle one at a time...it's easy to be overwhelmed. I hope things begin to look up for you soon.
Hi everyone, you are all so amazing. I really appreciate all of your suggestions, love, prayers and support. I am going to copy all of them and go through them one by one when I settle in to make my plan starting with a few "me" days at the end of this week. You are all right, its going to be painful, but I feel much better knowing you are all pulling for our family. Thank-you to Kristen for being the facilitator of all of this. I feel blessed. Many thanks, Rita
I haven't read all the comments so perhaps I'm repeating others thoughts.
Have you considered tutoring, at least as a part time job for added income? There may be other ways to follow your dream of being a teacher without being a classroom instructor.
Filing for bankruptcy could help with the consumer debt but not student loans they are not bankruptable.
If your teens are old enough they can get summer or after school jobs to pay for their activities and maybe help with household expenses too.
Do your best to keep a positive attitude you and your children will get through this.
I don't live in Ohio and don't know the unemployment laws there but look into how they treat part-time work when filing for unemployment. In my state it impacts if you can file and how much you can collect. I was unemployed for 18 months so I've lived through the worry, frustration, and every other emotion possible. My state offers coverage which was cheaper than COBRA. You might see if there is a subsidized plan offered by your state or unemployment office. Take advantage of every networking and training opportunity you can. Explore every event that you can that's related to what you do or what you're interested in doing and network with people. You'd be surprised at how many free or nearly free events are out there. Make up some business cards that you can distribute that have your contact into and list your skills, dress professionally, prep for interviews and always write a thank you note that stresses why you'd be good for the job and says how much you want the job. I'm interviewing people now and I'm surprised at how much this opportunity to connect is overlooked. Good luck, be optimistic and use this time to grow!
I am praying for you & your family. I have had the experience of being a divorced single mom with no $$, and it does get better. Things that saved me were end of season clothing clearance, $1 and $2 clothing sales at resale shops, friends & loved ones giving me their cast-off furniture/dishes/etc., shopping mainly at Aldi and Sav-A-Lot, and learning to do without haircuts, entertainment expenses (use your local library, you will be surprised), and the only things I would buy brand new were kids' shoes and coats. Also, I went to a simple meal plan of meat, and a side - this was cheaper for me than casseroles or soups or other recipes. I found that the less ingredients, the cheaper the meal. I also learned to spend 50% of my food budget on meat. It kept me from going crazy on cleaning supplies or other areas that aren't as important. Potatoes and Rice are great foods. Use them often. I eliminated all the specialty sprays and used one or two cleaning supplies for everything. Sometimes I made my own spray cleaner from rubbing alcohol and vinegar. I also made my own laundry soap (still do) and learned you can use white vinegar in a Downy ball in place of dryer sheets or fabric softener. Anytime I cooked a meat with bones in, I saved the carcass and made soup. (use dry beans, rice or pasta with it) Buy whatever is on sale at your local grocery that week - you know, the doorbuster items. I also got out of the habit of going into stores unneccessarily. If you don't go into a store, you won't be impulse buying, and you won't feel like you are missing out on things you will see in the stores and want.
You are not alone! Lean on family and friends if you can. You WILL get through this.
Hugs ~
Sande
There is currently a new tv show starting, not sur ethe channel but they buy lots of food and come out witout paying any moeny!It wont work for me cos im in canada but i would almost move to the state for it, lol!!I have had the worst two years of my life also die to this recession so i feel her pain, you just have to keep the chin up and never give up!!
I live in Ohio, too, and my husband (who has a BA in Criminal Justice and a Masters in Public Administration) was without a job with benefits or decent pay for 18 months. The extra education, 8 years as a probation officer, and his 2 years (not 3, like most jobs want) of supervisory position as the chief probation officer in the county, did not help him with getting other jobs, b/c he was either over-qualified or under-qualified. My advice from our experiences in Ohio would be this:
1. Pray (write down specific things and pray down the list) and find a support group, network, to pray also, and to help you in searching for a job/getting out what you have to offer to others who may know of jobs available.
2. in Ohio you can defer your school loans due to economic hardship, just keep up with the paperwork
3. I wouldn't recommend more schooling, Ohio is laying off teachers due to Senate Bill 5 and I already know quite a few teachers who have been laid off, plus, baby boomers are staying on as long as they can
4. In Ohio you can substitute teach if you already have a BA, you have to pay for your own sub license (around $60 last time I checked) and can get more information on it at any board of education in your area
5. Call the Child Support Enforcement Agency in the county where you deal with your child support, explain your situation and get started/get an understanding of what you will need to do to go back and get the child support adjusted through the court system
6. Check with HUD/Metropolitan Housing and sign up for their services, there is many times up to a 2 year waiting list (you may be able to increase your seniority on this list if you move into the local homeless shelter--you could have a friend store your stuff)
7. check into renting from friends, moving in with relatives or renting from them--get word out through your support network about it, word of mouth can go a long way, especially when someone recommends you personally
8. Check with churches in the area and with Job and Family Services (there is one in every 88 counties of Ohio) on what assistance is available in your county--things vary widely county to county, especially in non-profit organizations (churches, food banks, United Way, Community Action, etc.)
9. With teenagers, you are not eligible for some programs such as WIC, but you can qualify for food stamps, medicaid for the kids at least (maybe for you), cash assistance (much harder to get), reduced school lunches, etc.
10. Again, I would not recommend schooling, but if you are determined to go that way, check into graduate assistantships--I would not use graduate loans to live off of, b/c they must be paid back and cannot be gotten rid of with bankruptcy if later things get ugly again financially, also working at a lot of colleges full-time in Ohio will get you free tuition
11. Look into bankruptcy with local lawyers, using debt consolidation, although you feel better b/c you are trying to "pay back" what you owe, actually does just as much damage to your credit, and if the credit card company "forgives" any of your debt, you must count it as income for that year and pay taxes on it, then if you end up having to declare bankruptcy after doing debt consolidation/paying taxes on "forgiven" money, you just lost all the taxes you paid on the "forgiven" money, when it could of just been apart of the bankruptcy
12. Sell everything that you can (including as much furniture as possible) on craigslist or at yard sales--try to scale back as much as possible--there are only 3 of you, so you only need 3 seats in the house (3 chairs or one couch), you don't need a dining table or chairs, kids can do homework on beds or floor, and you can eat together on your 3 chairs, etc. Make it a game and try to see who in the family can scale back the farthest. The only thing I recommend you not get rid of, due to child services possible intervening is beds, stove, fridge. Look at it as a way to start over and be creative, not as being deprived.
13. Look at local library for free entertainment and have family nights of games. Go outside more as a family, and involve the kids in every aspect of living--the cooking, cleaning, financial planning---they might come up with great ideas that you would never think of in saving money! Give them each "challanges" on coming up with the cheapest way to pay for things, activities to do for free, etc.
14. Cook from scratch at home, eat little meat, tap water/milk for drinking, redefine what you think of as a "meal", make your own cleaning supplies and laundry detergent (2 parts grated soap, one part borax, one part washing soda--use one heaping tablespoon per load), no more disposables accept toilet paper!
15. look into delivering pizzas for a part-time job, they pay the best in just about everything part-time out there--my brother graduated from college and has had better pay with this, then with what business jobs are paying in Ohio right now
16. Start volunteering at the local food pantry/soup kitchens/free stores as a family NOW--this will help you and the kids not to feel alone on this journey and make you feel better about yourselves, it will get you in touch with what services are out there in your area for you, and will broaden your support network
17. When checking with what services are out there, always tell the person you are talking with whether or not you have ever used services before and what your circumstances are--people who work in social services or non-profits have good hearts, but they see a lot of people who are on the cycle of living off the system from one generation to the next, so they get desensitized to everything---so them knowing that your are trying/have never used the system before/want off it as soon as possible/etc. will want them to WANT to help you more!
18. Check the internet for jobs and Sunday Paper job classified ads--revamp your resume--check into security for all types of business, colleges, state jobs, etc. (With Senate Bill 5, lots of people are going to be out of work in civil service jobs in Ohio here soon, unfortuneatly.)
19. Reduce as much in insurance as you can for your car--- for your healthcare, you may be able to get Medicaid, but if not, look at private extremely emergency care hospital insurance for yourself--the kids can either get on with dad's plan or get Medicaid, don't do COBRA--it is too expensive usually
20. Stockpile and save while you can, and go bare bones on budget--use a prepaid cell for phone (usually cheaper than land line or contract in Ohio, if used sparingly), use library for internet/email and job searching--look at moving as close to walkable place as you can if possible (may even be able to get rid of car, definitely go to one car if you have more than just one--sell the other), kids now get to pay for all their extras that are not truly needs
Sorry, this is so long, but I worked in social services for years and know what a lot of people go up against. DO NOT feel too proud to ask for help--government services are out there to help people get back on their feet and you have paid for it with your taxes--you wouldn't turn away your tax return, so don't snub services when you truly need them. Again, volunteer your time at non-profits, if you feel you need to "pay" for any services you may be using at food pantries, etc.--they always appreciate more help with volunteers. If your kids are resistant, having them volunteer and see people who may be much worse off, will help them put things in perspective. For your own benefit (as well as for your kids), along with your written prayer list, start a gratitude journal and search for things to put in it, but don't force it (like "having" to write 3 things down a day that you are grateful for), and discuss it with the family as much as possible--be honest with how you are all feeling--don't spiral into anger and fear with each other. God Bless and Good Luck!!
Teach for Ameria is not a sound financial choice. You must agree to MANY stipulations. It would be better to find a job and get loan forgiveness through a state program.
My advice is to ditch the education degree if you plan on staying in Ohio. We are home to one of the largest schools in the world and in all honesty, degrees are a dime a dozen here and jobs are scarce. I am in Central Ohio and there are at least 5 universities within easy driving distance.
Also, catch up on all dental appointments and any doctor appointments now. Teen teeth can get expensive. The sealants wear off and they aren't diligent brushers, at least til they get that first girlfriend.
Lastly, start a financial journal. Just a cheap spiral book from the dollar store will do. This will give you the most accurate picture of your finances, especially if you have kids that you give money to in smaller bills. I started doing this in January and I was stunned at how much I was spending although I absolutely fall into the thrifty category. Actually, my mother says I am "Tight as the bark to a tree." The expression makes me laugh but the truth is there are a 1000 little money leaks when you have kids.
ArdenLynn
mama to 8
I would also recommend Dave Ramsey. I would attend a Financial Peace University class. You can find the information at daveramsey.com. It's a great place to talk to others who are going through the same situation, or have been there.
You don't have to get your master's degree first to teach! Please look into alternative certification programs in Ohio- almost every state has them, as long as you have a bachelor's degree there will be an alternative route. You'll have to take master's classes while you teach- usually just one a semester- but you'll be earning/working while you're studying.
Here's an example of one- http://www.cehs.wright.edu/academic/teacher_education/alternative-license/index.php
I saw Teach for America referenced above as well.
Also, could you look into non-traditional housing arrangements- renting a basement apartment, a floor in someone's home, a guest house, etc? Usually those are much cheaper than apartments. I also agree that if your kids are teens, they should get some sort of weekend/part time job to help pay for their "extras".
"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
Harriet Beecher Stowe
1811-1896, Writer
Rita keep aiming high! Make an account at theladders.com even if you're not in the market for a $100k job (I am not) it does give you great advice and the owner sends a great email every Monday with awesome tips! I used Indeed.com for job searching. People were suggesting I would just take 'any' job, not realizing I would not be able to sustain myself with that! Glad I kept looking for something in my field and educational/experience range.
You're in my thoughts, Monique
Got to your local book store, Target, Walmart etc. and take a few minutes to read The Money Class by Suze Orman. PBS has also been running the seminar on TV. She discussed almost every thing that you are going through right now.
I actually recorded this on PBS and plan to watch it this weekend. Thank-you!
First, create a budget. Determine how much you can afford to spend on every aspect of your life. include gas, hairspray, lip balm....anything that you feel that you need to spend money on. Second, defer your student loans. Third, find one, two, or even three jobs if that is what you need to do to support your family. I have been there. Working three jobs is no fun at all, but if it is what must be done, then it must be done. Finally, don't get your Masters! First, you can't get Pell Grants for a Masters program so it will be all out of pocket. Second, the classes are more expensive than a Bacehlor's. Third, the workload is intense. You will have a really hard time working 1-3 jobs, raising kids AND handling school!
* There is a career transitions group that meets at my church. Just last night I was planning to invite a friend from water aerobics, and she mentioned the career transitions group at her church before I had a chance too. 🙂 So I figure they are pretty abundant these days. I don't know which area of Ohio you live in, but I just googled "career transitions church ohio" and came up with several hits.
* I lost my job last fall, and it was heartbreaking. I'm a teacher, and I kind of felt like I had "lost custody" of my students. You must have strong emotional ties to the police force, too! I encourage you to reach out to some people you trust for emotional support, in addition to seeking these other resources that have been recommended. I was also pretty embarrassed about my job loss and didn't tell many people. I think it's awesome that you have reached out here already. I'm sure bravery runs through your blood as a police officer! 🙂
Here is the scripture that immediately came to my mind when my brother told me he had lost his job, a year before I did: "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23) (There's more where that came from!)
😉
Hi everyone. I wanted to let you know that I am putting your advise to good use. Please visit my post and read my thank-you. Hugs, Rita
http://dolcemiasrestart.blogspot.com/2011/04/countdown-day-99.html
As an educator, I wish I could say that I thought going back to school for you right now is a good idea, but I have to agree with the people who are suggesting you wait a little while. Deferring loans, etc. doesn't make them go away. (I recently watched Suze Orman's Money Class, and there was a lovely gentleman who had lost a job and gone back to school and now has an enormous amount of loans. He broke everyone's heart. Even bankruptcy couldn't help him. It's a stupid law.) Is there some type of career or job counselor you could work with who could help you figure out different ways you could use your skills? Or perhaps a job placement service? Considering your career, you're probably good at dealing with stress and thinking on your feet, so I'm sure you will have the strength you need to get through this.
It's been a few days and I hope I am not too late but:
Before you lose your medical coverage be sure to see your doctor, dentist, etc, and be sure to refill any prescriptions. I lost my job a month ago and with no notice and I wish I had the time to see my doctors again and refill a few prescriptions. Also, go to ehealthinsurance.com to see what type of coverage you can afford on your own. The more information you have the more empowered you will become.
Taking a financial hit is always hard, but I found Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book to be a lifesaver - see if you can get it from the library. The one thing he suggests is to live like no one else now (i.e. the first few months are going to suck, and you are going to have to cut and be extreme in savings and tackling your debt) but then once you do the extreme savings, you really start to benefit and be able to live like no one else (this time in a good way).
Everyone has good suggestions, but I definitely say attack the debts while you still have your job. Do you have a car payment? Trade in the car and get one that you can pay cash for.
Also, Maleluca is a wonderful company that saves you money and can provide you with extra income - that is what I am doing. Their company is not like Pampered Chef and the other companies that make you pressure family members and friends, but instead you are "the appointment setter" and you do not have to buy special kits to promote your business (if anyone wants to know more, they can email me - ashleysinatra@hotmail.com).
I know it is hard to deny yourself pleasures now, but it will help you later down the road.
Good luck! I can't wait to see your progress.
This may seem silly but Rita hasn't posted on her blog in a few months and I'm sure that I am not the only one wondering about her. I hope she's doing well and just too busy to post, and of course she has no obligation to keep us up to date...but do you ever hear from her? W