Monday Q&A | Free Samples, CSAs and Weddings
I've known about your site since 2008 but have never asked a question before. I was wondering what your views are on free samples. There are tons of websites that gather samples together and update them daily. I just browsed today and found about ten samples that will be coming in the mail. Do you use these, and do you have a favorite?
-Kristin
I'm not actually a free sample nut, mostly because I take issue with the amount of packaging these samples use. I wrote more about that in a blog post about free samples.
I do like to sign up for full-size freebies, though, and my favorite resource for that is MoneySavingMom.
Have you considered buying a share in a CSA?
-lots and lots of people
Yep, I have! I think CSAs are a fabulous idea. But all the CSAs in my area are booked, and so my only option was to be put on a waiting list.
Boo.
I'm making more of an effort to visit the local farmer's markets and produce stands, though, so we're still managing to eat some local produce even without a CSA.
I JUST got engaged (yay!) and the first thought that came to mind was: How do I plan a "frugal" wedding... but still manage to have some of the traditional bells and whistles?
I realized that your wedding was one of the things I don't know about you... would you care to share some of the minor details about it? Was frugality a major component? Did you get married at City Hall and do a small, intimate party? Or was it more traditional with a church and a more lavish celebration?
First, congrats!! Second, I'm not sure that my wedding was a classic frugal wedding, but it wasn't super expensive either. I think the total bill for everything (food, my dress, invitations, etc) was $5000.
(my mother can feel free to pipe up and correct me if I'm wrong on that!)
We did have a church wedding, and we had a fairly large number of guests (I can't remember exactly how many, though.). However, we had an evening wedding (at 7:00 pm), and so afterwards, we just had hors d'ouevres and then cake and ice cream. This was less stressful and less expensive than having a sit-down dinner. We also saved money by having the reception in the church building. Plus, a lot of our church family pitched in to help by preparing food, serving food, and decorating the church.
Hmmm...what else did we do to save money? We printed our own invitations on purchased cardstock. My dress came from David's Bridal, and cost $500, and my wedding shoes were from Payless(!). We rented a tux and shoes for Mr. FG instead of buying them. The night of our wedding, we stayed in a nearby Bed and Breakfast, and then we headed up to Cape Cod, where my parents had given us a week's stay as our wedding present.
I didn't actually have to pay for my wedding expenses, so keeping things simple didn't save me any money personally. Really, though, part of the reason we kept things simple is that I didn't care very much about all the wedding details. Quite honestly, Mr. FG and I just wanted to get married and start our new lives together, and all the wedding trappings weren't that important to us. Even our honeymoon location didn't much matter to us...we were just so happy to be married and to be all by ourselves, I think we'd have had a fabulous time no matter where we went.
Considering that we have 3 female offspring, I'll probably be full of more practical frugal wedding advice 15-20 years from now, but for the moment, my best advice is to remember that the main point of a wedding is to marry two people...it's not about impressing other people, or throwing the party of the year. If you have the resources and you want to throw a fabulous party, that's all well and good, but a small wedding can accomplish the goal of marrying two people just as well as a large wedding can.
And lastly, I'd add that what matters most is not the amount of effort you put into your wedding, but the amount of effort you put into your marriage. It seems like a lot of people get those two things flip-flopped. 😉
P.S.-I'd also put in a vote for hiring a good photographer. If I could go back, that's probably the only thing I'd change about my wedding. I wasn't into photography back then, so I didn't put a lot of effort into finding a good, creative photographer. Ah well...one of these days, I will fork over the cash to have a nice photo session done for Mr. FG and me to make up for it!
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I'm positive that you, dear readers, have lots of fabulous frugal wedding advice to add to mine, so please share in the comments!
I think you gave great common sense wedding advice.
The best advice I was given about wedding planning was: "Pick the thing that's most important to you, and spend money on that; be frugal with the rest." For me, it was getting a really good photographer. But for you it could be buying a designer dress, having fabulous flowers, or serving a gourmet meal.
We had two photographers there, and have lot of wonderful posed and candid photos for our album. But I made my own invitations, wore a white bridesmaid dress, and had my reception in a picnic shelter. The point is, choose one thing to go all-out on, and keep the rest simple.
I meant to say this too. Oh, and don't stress. That just ruins the day. Just make your mind up that no matter what happens you are going to enjoy it!! You are going to be married at the end of the day and that is all that matters. Plus, a sour face looks terrible in photos. And the things that go wrong are the things that you will remember and laugh about later.
I just got married last July. I have a few tips.
Invatations: Ollies and other Bargin warehouses sell 50 invitations for $5 or less. You just have to print them yourselves. I also used some cardstock when I ran out. Also, instead of sending response cards back you can have them respond on a website or use postcards. I used post cards because I was inviting a lot of older people in our church.
My wedding cost between $5000 - $7000. I never heard the total count. We had about 400 people at our wedding (because the church is my family and we invited them all).
Flowers: I ordered my flowers from Sams club and grew some of my own and made my own flowers. Plan ahead and you can plant the colors you want. We had people in the church cut hydrangas and hosta leaves for all the table decorations. I lined glass vases with hosta leaves and stuck three hydranga blossoms out of the top. It was gorgeous.
Church decorations: We borrowed all the tables from the church, but rented the chairs. The church was decorated with fake hydrangas and tulle. It was really simple. I borrowed the runner from a friend.
Suits: We picked a suit that our groomsmen would wear over and over again and could wear both summer and winter. It was actually cheaper to buy the suits and ties, then rent and they got a new suit. They were about 160 a piece because we bought 4.
Reception: The reception was in my parents backyard that is half shaded and half field. We borrowed tents from people in the church and set the food under them. We had a bounce house optical course for the younger children and volleyball, soccer, and various other games out in the field.
Cake: My Mother in law made the wedding cake (a small one for is to cup - just one round layer) and made sheet cakes for the rest of the people. We also had friends make peach cobbler (because it is my husbands favorite dessert). We also made brownies.
Food: My parents had the food brought in (because my Dad wanted to eat and feed people - I was happy with dessert). We had fried chicken, ham and sweet poatoes, pulled pork, green bean, baked beans, cole staw, potato salad... and all sorts of picnicy foods. It was amazing food. I ate so much.
We had a candy bar for the kids as well and a punch fountain. We bought the glass jars for the candy bar at a discount store and used other jars that we had in the house.
DJ: There is a kid in our church that DJs and we gave him a list of the music that we wanted and he did a great job. My husband Djed his sisters wedding. All it takes is a computer and music files and some speakers. We borrowed the speakers from his sisters wedding from a musician that we know.
The two things I spent lots of money on were my dress ($850) and my photographer. I wanted good photos. I only had her for four hours, but my sister and several other people took great photos of the rest of the day.
Our wedding was basically the greatest day of my life. I didn't want to leave. The wedding started at 1:23pm and we finally left around 8:30pm. We stayed the first night at our (YAY) house (so exciting going back to my very own new house and so less stressful). Then we flew up to Maine for 5 days. Maine is lovely in July.
I wish I could post photos to convince you that frugal is beautiful. The flowers turned out so beautiful. If you go to my blog and look back in July you might see some links to some photos. 🙂
We were married back in October. If you have the time wait for one of the big wedding gown clearance sales like at David's Bridal. Also go to a bridal show if one comes to your area. I went to one and it was full of not just information but also coupons and deals! We got one free tux rental and $50 off at David's Bridal. There were many other deals but they were things we were not interested in, like DJ and band services. We still certainly got our $10 entrance fee back through those deals!
I have to second the photography!!! I chose to go with a photographer who was cheap and had a good personality. The engagement session was great however the wedding was not very good. Even though we had a sit down talk at the engagement session and he took notes on what we wanted, we still had to say many times we wanted church pictures and family pictures. I thought that was pretty standard. My aunt had to step in and tell them what to take pictures of and pose us! She's a florist so she knows her weddings. (and as her gift to us we received at-cost flowers!) I am so thankful and lucky to have her!
One last thing: Please don't stress! I hesitate to say this but things WILL go wrong! There are so many little things that were wrong (wrong flavor cake icing...) with our wedding but I was just too happy with my new husband to care or sometimes notice! Have fun and focus on each other through everything! Congratulations!
I had to add my two cents about the wedding. I was married nine years ago and we spent about $1,000 on the wedding. I bought my dress for $100 on clearance at a bridal store and had my Grandma fit it for me. We reserved the church for $75 and the music for $50. We printed our own invitations. We had a small reception at my parent's house and served "picnic foods" such as sandwiches, potato salad/cole slaw, etc. My aunt made the cake for cost so it was $40.
We wanted the focus of our wedding to be on our marriage, not just the wedding day. We wanted the reception to be smaller and feel like a family reunion. We wouldn't do anything differently today...it was a beautiful day and all the guests enjoyed themselves. We were young when starting out and my parents didn't have much to help out in the way of expenses and we did not want to go into debt. It was perfect!
By the way, for the month of June I am doing a $1,200 budget challenge on my blog (that includes mortgage, bills, food, and everything). Maybe you or some of your readers would like to check it out?
That is what we wanted! We wanted it to be a celebratation of marriage and not all about the one day. We wanted to be able to spend time with the people we loved and enjoy ourselves. One goal was to make kids think weddings were exciting events. I wanted them not to be bored.
For my dress, I found a simple, flowing bridesmaid dress and ordered it in white (about $250). For our photographer, we hired a photojournalist from the local paper and paid only for her time and for all the prints (she didn't make us a book or enlargements, just literally handed us the prints and film for us to do with). I think this cost us $500 and it was great for capturing candid shots. We made our own invitations too. Ordered a lot of things on-line for decorations (much cheaper). With our florist, I gave her our budget and let her have at it - didn't get all hung up on the exact flowers I wanted and she appreciated the creativity to do whatever. I also told my one bridesmaid that I liked the color red and that she could choose any style dress she wanted. I think it's awful to make your bridesmaids dish out hundreds of dollars for your day. We also had about 40 people at the wedding so it was nice and intimate.
I agree with Kristen that the focus should be on the marriage, not on the wedding and so many people get that wrong! Good luck and have fun planning it!
We did passed apps for our wedding too. Several people mentioned how great it was not to be chained to a table for an entire meal.
You seem to imply that you plan on paying for your daughters' weddings but not your son's. I realize that is tradition but ask you to think about it. We paid for our own wedding but the fact that my husband's parents paid for both his sister's weddings created hurt feelings between my husband and his parents. (It didn't matter to me but he felt his wedding was not as important in his parents eyes...)
That's interesting...I've never heard of anyone being offended over that! lol I'd imagine that some offense could be cause if the groom's parents insisted on paying for the wedding, though...the bride's parents might feel insulted.
Oh, the difficulties. lol
I imagine that we'll follow tradition and will pay for our daughter's weddings (and I imagine Joshua's future fiance's parents will follow tradition as well), but of course, we'll assess each situation as it arises.
I have heard of people being offended over that. And all sorts of other nonsense. The one that takes the cake is the bride's mother getting into a shouting match with the bride over what color beige nailpolish the bride should wear.
My brother and his bride to be did a pot luck wedding. They had the ceremony on the grounds of a bed & breakfast. There was an old barn on the property which housed the food. They rented a tent and tables/chairs for the guests to sit. They invested in some inexpensive cloth linens and decorations for the barn and had everyone bring a dish. There had to have been 8 crock pots set up. They did have a catering company "manage" the food area which seemed to work beautifully. They also rented real plates and flatware so it had a nice feel rather than paperplates and plastic utensils. Some people ordered trays of food from the catering company instead of bringing a dish. They also did BYOB and provided sparkling cidar and softdrinks.
I have to be honest and say that I wasn't thrilled with the potluck idea for a wedding but I have to admit when I was wrong. It was one of the nicest weddings I had ever been too.
I didn't have a particularly frugal wedding, but one place where we really saved money was the catering. No, we didn't have everyone who attended cooking and baking - we got barbeque! Most BBQ places will cater, and they charge a LOT less than other caterers. I think we finished up at about $15/per person, which was very reasonable for 3 types of meat, hot passed grilled shrimp, sides, etc. Since we did an outdoor ceremony and reception, the food made sense (I didn't want to serve something fussy outdoors), and everyone enjoyed it.
If you really want a special dress it might be cheaper to have it made by a seamstress locally than to order it. Beaded dresses are often made overseas and not always under the best working conditions.
Where I come from, summer weddings mean lupines - free wild flowers!
It's a huge savings if you don't have a sit-down catered meal or alcohol. A simple tiered wedding cake decorated with fresh flowers and ribbons can be made in the average kitchen.
For some good ideas for a traditional (but frugal) wedding, google "Quaker Weddings."
I think it's really important for you and your fiancé to figure out what your priorities are for your wedding and what you are trying to accomplish. Plan a budget, and then financially figure out how to meet your goals using the money you have. For us, we wanted to invite a lot of people because we wanted as many of our brothers and sisters in Christ to witness our vows before God, since they would be the ones holding us accountable in the future. We also wanted to throw a large celebration in an attempt to mirror the wedding feasts referenced in Scripture. We had over 600 guests but were able to keep the cost to around $7K.
My dress and the photographer were important to me, so the cake, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, table centerpieces, hair, makeup,etc were less expensive. I actually bought my dress from a designer shop but it was less than $600 – shop around, David's Bridal isn't always the best deal. Ebay is also a great option if you want a designer gown and don't mind it being pre-worn.
We hired somebody with good sound equipment for the music and spent a lot of time making the playlist to appeal to all different age groups for dancing. We also had the wedding start at 7pm so we had a dessert and champagne reception (with nuts, meats and cheeses for those that needed the protein). Ladies in the church gifted us by making chocolate cakes so we had a table of gorgeous homemade desserts that were able to feed 600 plus and keep the costs down. The result was being able to invite most of the people we and our parents wanted, and the dance floor was filled (grandparents down to flower girls) ALL night long!
I'll add just one other idea for a frugal wedding - consider having the ceremony and reception at the same location (and the accommodations for guests as well). That would be the one thing I would change if I were to get married again. Our friends got married at a church and then walked 3 lots down to the restaurant/inn where they had. It saves money on transportation (both on wedding day and all the running around beforehand!) as well as you can also often get a break in price by having the reception and accommodations at the same place. In addition, it also saves a lot of headaches (getting stuck in traffic, people getting lost, needing to run back to pick up something, etc.)
If you need to move a lot of people from one place to another, consider renting a school bus. We did this for our college friends who were staying at a budget hotel pretty far from the reception site. It was surprisingly affordable (I want to say it was $150, but can't really remember) and a really easy way to handle transportation - plus it was fun to have the groom and all the groomsmen pull up in a schoolbus!
Both of these suggestions also have the nice side benefit of reducing carbon emissions, which may be important if you want to be environmentally conscious and frugal at the same time.
I got married last June! My mother took care of tons of little details that saved us a bundle. She also rallied her friend to help with things like food and flowers for the reception tables.
We had a church ceremony, buffet dinner, and ballroom dancing. $6000 got us:
- My clothes: I bought the dress from David's, borrowed shoes, received pearls as a gift, wore my grandmother's lace "Juliet Cap," and my mother hand-beaded a $10 tulle veil from Michael's.
- The church where I grew up: ceremony first, then reception in the same space. The church had a lot of flatware, tablecloths, a few tables, and all the chairs. Also a few decorating elements (small mirror panels being one of them--great for putting in the center of the table to reflect candlelight). Use of the church included a wedding coordinator.
- Rentals: Dance floor, tables, plates, glasses, some serving utensils.
- Sound and recording provided by a church friend.
- A cousin played piano as guests arrived, a family friend played for the processional and recessional, and other friends played guitar and sang during the service.
- Two candelabra flower arrangements, boutonnieres and bouquets for the wedding party and family.
- Invitations from the online service connected with Costco.com. They were very elegant.
- We skimped on wedding favors because all I've ever done is throw them away. We gave each guest a little container of non-pareil mints, bought in bulk and repackaged.
- Travel expenses for our pastor and his wife.
- A catered entree. This was all we had catered, and we supplemented with side dishes prepared by family friends. We hired a banquet hostess to superintend the buffet, since we weren't having the caterer stick around.
- Three-tier cake from the local grocery store bakery (this turned out to be cheaper than a two-tier with a sheet cake supplement; do the math to check in your area).
- Thank-you gift cards for key players (pastor, pianist, wedding coordinator, banquet hostess, sound guy, and DJ--see below).
Alcohol wasn't permitted on church property for insurance reasons, which saved us some $$ and allowed us to skirt the issue (my family enjoys wine; his parents don't drink at all).
We had a friend who both DJ-ed and photographed for us for free. This was great, but don't have your friend do the photography unless he's a professional. Our friend took some lovely engagement photos for us, but just wasn't up to the challenge of a wedding. I pooh-poohed all the warnings out there about this and regret it.
Don't forget to have a master of ceremonies for the reception! We did, but thankfully an amazing friend stepped in and did a marvelous job =o).
I had my dress and the matching flower girl's dress made for less than $250. They were gorgous, one of a kind with embroidered flower fabric details, and already fitted. We ordered flowers online from a wholesaler and had a family friend do all of the arrangements for a small fee. Instead of an expensive wedding cake, each table's centerpiece was a different cake or cheesecake, topped with fresh fruits (all from Sams club). To finish the decorations we used wine glass candle lamps and fresh rose petals. Our photographer was a local art student just starting his wedding photography business.
I couldn't agree more about focusing on the marriage and the couple and not the details. Our outdoor wedding in my grandparents back yard was rained out and switched to the back-up local church, but it didn't matter. We were (and still are!) so in love and happy and we knew it didn't matter in God's eyes where we said our vows.
My husband and I also paid for the wedding ourselves as the bride's parents paying for the wedding isn't very common here, so I can understand hurt feelings over the daughter's wedding being paid for and not the son's.
My husband and I did a pretty frugal wedding (with the help of our families!) My sister printed our wedding announcements on velum - one side is good for printing the other side smears, and we attached them to our picture with ribbon. I actually used my sister's wedding dress (it helps that I LOVED it.) We had our reception at a local building for $50 and made our own backdrop. My sister's best friend makes wedding cakes so she made ours for free (we had two receptions and two cakes - my sister made our second cake. Speaking of which my husband's family handled all the expenses of the reception in his town so I'm not sure how much it cost.) My mom had taken photography classes so she did most of our wedding photos which was nice. Doing a frugal wedding takes extra time but if you have time and leave out some of the frills then it works great (such as my bridesmaids did not have flowers - I think that was an oversight on my part - I got married the week after my college semester ended so things were a bit more hectic than I would have liked. Looking back though I wouldn't change anything except I would make the wedding day a little less tight in schedule.)
All these suggestions are great! I would add to that to see if you can find vendors who will fill more than one role. For example, maybe your florist will take care of lanterns/lights/linens or your caterer will arrange all tent/table/utensil rentals and delivery. This will save you money, time and possible stress.
I second the idea of prioritizing. We spent the most money on location for our wedding--a sculpture garden since my husband is a sculptor--and then cut back on everything else. My caterer made the food and the cake and arranged all the rentals and beverages. We hung cheap but pretty paper lanterns under the tent ourselves. My mom sewed matching table runners out of super-cheap plain fabric. I was working at a florist then so got my bouquets as a gift and made my own centerpieces. We printed our own invitations from a kit and I made my own place cards. My dress/veil were $300 at a shop that sells dresses that were used as samples for trying on. My shoes were from Payless and my mom did our hair. My bridesmaid dresses were $38 each on sale (I got one for myself to change into, too!). I just had the men wear their own suits. My photographer was an up-and-comer I found on MySpace who gave us a great deal and just handed us the CD of photos to develop/make albums myself (such a great way to do it!). I could go on and on since I'm a real wedding junkie, but I'll just stop and include a link to my blog post about it.
http://mynonfabulousfblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/today-is-first-anniversary-of-our.html
And I almost forgot--congrats on your engagement!!!
I recommend taking your bridesmaids shopping during prom season to find dresses. First they are pretty cheap compared to ordering them through a bridal salon, and they can find styles they like. You can also find white dresses which could work as a bridal gown as well.
My girlfriends and I made a day of it, having lunch and vetoing certain colors, I was open to almost anything, and then hitting some malls. When both Em and Sara walked out with big grins, I knew we had a winner. Red! they wore their own shoes, and I found jewelry for them. They were $75 and Em only needed a hem, which her mom did for her.
Congratulations!!
My wedding was exceptionally frugal as it was at the Justice of the Peace, and we didn't have a reception.
I can tell you one thing that you may want to look into. My husband's sisters did this in leiu of a gift ( at the time I thought is was really tacky, BUT....after experiencing it...boy did I take that notion back!!)
Spend a bit of money (or do a LOT of subtle hinting!) on having someone freeze a few meals/clean/organize/for your house for you so that when you get back to it, you can relax with your husband.
There's nothing like having nothing to do immediately after your honeymoon/big day.
It was so worth it.
Many blessings!
I live in California, and love CSAs! But with all of the local farmers markets here that buy local, they're also a good choice. Besides, some don't let you pick your veggies and if you don't eat/cook with most, the farmers market may be a good idea for you.
My wedding was beyond frugal! We didn't invite a million people and decided to do a reception for everybody else.
Some things we did to help keep costs under control:
I bought my dress at a consignment store that sold sample dresses previously used by dress shops. Total cost: $500 for dress, veil, and alterations.
We kept our flowers to a minimum, as our church was an old stone beauty definitely in no need of extra decoration. I asked for flowers that were in season at the time of our wedding (tulips and daisies for a spring wedding), and then asked the florist to fill in with inexpensive flowers of the same colors (white and yellow). I think it was about $500 for 5 bouquets (mine, maid of honor's, flower girl, and two bridesmaids), and a whole bunch of boutineers and corsages for groomsmen, mothers, fathers, grandparents, readers, etc.
Dance music we just happened to get lucky - a DJ was offering a deal at a wedding show I went to 4 months before our wedding.
Ceremony music we asked our friends and family to sing and play piano.
Table decorations were very simple - mirrors and tealights provided by the facility, we just added ribbons in our wedding colors and a different chocolate bar for each table. For wedding favors we got a local place to do truffles.
Instead of a traditional cake, we did cheesecakes! It was a lot less expensive than a regular cake, and the local shop that provided them also provided a special stand that held 3 cakes like they were tiered. We wrapped ribbon in our wedding colors around the tiered cakes. For 113 guests, we had 9 cheesecakes in several flavors.
We printed and assembled our invitations and used postcards for RSVPs.
The most important thing, though, is that we decided to just have a great time and enjoy ourselves. 🙂
We married in the Twin Cities and honeymooned at Lusen resort - rented a cottage on Lake Superior for a week. We wanted to go somewhere we didn't have to fly to or drive more than a few hours.
Our wedding wasn't exactly frugal, and we spent a staggering amount on a photographer. And I am SO happy we did! Well, read, I'm so happy my parents did! 🙂
And now I'm going to do some shameless advertising. Kristen, feel free to delete this comment if you'd rather me not share this link!
When my husband's younger brother got married in October 2008, he made an online gift registry for them because they didn't want a gift registry with a specific shop, but things from many different shops. Well, http://www.giftyweddings.com was born and has grown into a site that many, many couples have used. You can try it for free to see if you like it. I wish we had something like this when we got married, as I felt quite restricted making a registry with just one store. If we did, it might have saved us getting 20 serving platters! Have a look! 🙂
Got married last September for total $3200. Would have come in under $2800 if so many things hadn't gone terribly wrong in the last four weeks before the wedding -- the location fell through, the minister moved 2,000 miles away, etc. etc. Much of the last $200 was making purchases it decorate our back yard -- which is where the wedding and reception ended up. My dress cost only $150. The flowers $200 (Costco, and we arranged them ourselves). For me, food was the extravagance...I spent 1/3 of my budget on food (dinner, cake and beverages), because my personal feelings are that ANY event is better when the food is great.
But, to reiterate what many people above have said, things are going to go wrong whether your budget is $2800 or $28,000. The day of my wedding, someone had to make two trips to the local hardware store to buy replacement fuses -- yes, we were blowing fuses left and right. And myriad other things went wrong. I was shocked that so many people kept saying to me, "I can't believe how calm you are!" or "I would be flipping out if I were you." I just made a deal with myself that every moment could potentially be captured by our photographer (a friend who worked for cheap and handed over all rights to the photos the next day, which I REALLY recommend) and that I wanted the pictures to reflect how happy, excited, and hopeful I was (and am) for my MARRIAGE. I love looking through those pictures now, and not one of them makes me cringe. Not one with a smirk or impatience on my face. I got to spend the whole day celebrating my love for my husband with people we love, and I have no moments I'm not proud of.
You can't control the chaos that will be your wedding day, but you can control how you react to the insanity! 🙂
Congratulations and good luck to you!
Oh, and I also made our invitations (bought at Paper Direct online), altered my dress, had my bridesmaids simply pick a black dress they already owned to wear, encouraged our guests to dress in all black and white and red so that all the pictures would look super professional, and since my husband and I don't drink, we encouraged others to B.Y.O. Wine. I know that last one wouldn't work for everyone, but since we're non-drinkers, guests made their own arrangements. If you're having an afternoon or church wedding, people will not expect a bar (huge cost). Remember that the more you're willing to do yourself, and with an army of family and friends, the less you'll have to pay others to do. Plan for two or three days before the wedding to sit around with 200 roses and floral wire and do the "hard" part. I didn't know my brother's wife very well, but after a couple of days of her volunteering to help make my wedding happen, we are great friends. DIY wedding!
Reese - apracticalwedding.com is THE resource for practical, sane weddings no matter what your budget. It's all about staying centered and remembering what's important to YOU two rather than getting sucked in by what the wedding industry says should be important to you. That'll help you keep your sanity and (bonus!) keep to your budget.
sounds like ours. i would also change the photography thing too! AGREE~ on putting the most effort into marriage.i would have liked to have put more effort into the wedding prep though~ i was WAY too laid back... "don't care~ only want to be married" and i still do 😉 he's the greatest!
My husband and I were married in December and spent NZ$3000 which is US$2092 (Any quotes will be in NZ$ as its too time consuming to work all the costs in US$).
We only had 10 weeks between our engagement and our wedding due to us moving cities. The best decision we made was sitting down at the beginning and working out who we knew that could do what. My step-sister is an amazing photographer so even though she wouldn't have charged us we did a trade of skills as it is such a big expense normally. My husband is a film maker so he edited a short film together of her daughter. Here is a link to her site with a few of our photos she posted on her blog http://www.callandergirl.co.nz/2009/lemon-lavender-lovliness/
My step-mum is a fantastic baker so our cake was at no cost, my friend did my bouquet and my husband and I shopped for all our food and prepared a lot ourselves and my step-mum and mother and law prepared some of the food before hand too. On the morning of the wedding my husband and I were up early making guacamole, roast vege salad and brushetta. We did a big picnic complete with picnic blankets and bought 100 odd vintage plates from charity stores to use for crockery. We kept the ones we liked and donated the rest back to a charity store. Food consisted of olives, sundried tomatos, salamis and cold smoked salmon fillets. Green salads and artisan breads and cheeses. Our cake was lemon, lime and lavender and doubled as dessert along with fresh fruit and cream (and natural yoghurt but it got left at home!).
My dress was the biggest bargain. I used second hand net curtains and an old broderie anglais duvet cover and had a local seamstress make it, all up it cost $240. We hand made all our invitations with pressed leaves. Our biggest cost was for our venue which doubled as our reception and ceremony venue. It was $500 but it was a gorgeous rambling garden with a stream, lake, swans and geese. Made for great wedding photos and a place for people to wander around during the reception. We didn't have extra flowers being in a garden and the only music we had was a glockenspiel student for one song while I walked up the tree lined aisle. A wedding for 50 people that was beautiful and wonderful.
Congratulations on your engagement and I hope you get the wedding you dream about 🙂
We spent about $5000 for our wedding 4 years ago. Both my husband and I grew up on farms, and he grew minature pumpkins and I grew gourds for decorations. My uncle saved a truck load of cut oats for me which went into mason jars for centerpieces. My husband welded candle holder centerpieces out of used horse shoes, and then painted them gloss black.
We rented the American Legion where my dad was a member for $300, and the church was free because I was a member there. I took advantage of the employee discount at the printing company where I worked, and did all of my own invitations and other stationary. My dress was a $99 floor sample, and my cousin that is a seamstress did the alterations for free as our wedding gift. A local lady who did wedding cakes on the side did a 4 tier cake for $120 (and it was probably the best wedding cake I have ever had). Keg beer and soda only at the bar kept the bar bill low. When it was all said and done, several people said that while ours wasn't the fanciest wedding they had been to, it was definitly was one of the funnest they have ever been to.
Don't be afraid to think out of the box or ask around for recomendations of people who do stuff on the side - our cake lady was the aunt of my hairdresser. Pick the things that are important to you (ours was having a live band), and plan your budget accordingly. Keep things simple.
Congratulations and good luck on your wedding planning!
FG's mother chiming in here. She's right. The wedding cost $5195 and that was counting everything, even little stuff. In regard to the photographer, we did hire a good photographer (quite highly recommended), but this was back in the film days and every shot he took was another piece of film. And he was on the pricey side of things at that time, even though we hired him only pre-wedding and a couple shots at beginning of ceremony and none at the reception. All the "jumping up in the air-standing on bridges" type ideas so popular now weren't really so in vogue back in those "ancient times". 🙂
Ways to keep a wedding less expensive:
- earlier in the day is cheaper
- don't get married on a Saturday
- get a second-hand dress
- have a small wedding party
- less formal = less expensive
- outdoors is usually less expensive but be prepared for bad weather (oh the stories I have!)
- usually (but not always) one decorated layer and a sheet cake in the back is least expensive
- buffet
- no alcohol
The most enjoyable wedding I attended was also the least expensive. Ceremony was in a public park, second-hand dress and rented tux, celebrant was groom's uncle, party was two siblings, party was at church hall, meal was organized pot luck by congregants, dishes etc were rented, cake was one layer with sheet in the back, entertainment by the guests. The self-entertainment made the party. The couple are contra dancers and musicians and that's how they met. So many of their friends are dancers, callers and musicians; they provided music and dance instructions all night long. If that wedding cost them $3000 I'll eat my hat and everyone had a grand old time.
The most important thing about a wedding is to remember something will go wrong. Probably several somethings. If you stress, you and your guests will have a bad time. If you laugh and roll with it, you and your guests will have great stories.
The most important thing of all to remember is that a wedding is just a party. A marriage is a lifetime. Allocate your time and efforts accordingly.
My husband and I paid about $500 total for our wedding. Yes, $500 LOL
Pictures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49275&id=655870626&l=8ee08670cb
It was my 2nd wedding and already having had all of the formal trappings the first time, I didn't feel the need to do it again. This was a VERY informal outdoor wedding.
- We bought my dress for $19 at Ross - it's very informal and really lovely. We only sent 50 invitations, and only had 35 guests total.
- My dad (who is a pastor) married us, and the location was free. We found a GORGEOUS wedding spot in the mountains right next to a river. We got up there very early in the day (8am) to "save" the spot. By the time all was said and done at 11am, not one other soul had ventured to the area 🙂
- Flowers were less than $100 - a bouquet for me, and one for my older daughter (who was my MOH), and a flower basket for the younger daughter (flower girl).
- 2 cakes were purchased from Whole Foods. They were a lemon/raspberry moussecake and were DELICIOUS. I think we paid $60 for both.
- Reception food was a goumet picnic - a gift from one of my best friends. We had quiches, different cheeses/meats/breads, salads - she took us shopping at Whole Foods and had us choose the types of things we liked.
- No alcohol. The wedding was at 10am and my parents don't drink. We served sparkling cider.
- My girls dresses were also purchased at Ross, in simlar styles to mine. My husband wore khaki shorts and a gorgeous white shirt. My son (who walked me down the aisle) wore the same style of outfit as my husband.
I realize such an informal wedding is not for everyone, but for a 2nd marriage, it was perfect. It is easily one of the most favorite days of my life 🙂
If I could change one thing in my wedding, it'd be the photog, ours was not awful but not very creative either.
http://dollarstorecrafts.com/2010/06/roundup-wedding/ Dollar store crafts has some nice ideas on how to utilize an everythings a dollar store for wedding stuff.
Seems like everyone else has mentioned my frugal wedding tips, so I'll just second your "focus on the marriage, not the wedding" tip. That was my mantra when we were in the midst of wedding planning.
We got married this past March, which corresponded with my spring break from work (public school system), so that was during the off season. We searched high and low until I found the perfect little country church which cost $50 for the church and small reception hall. We had one attendant each, which saved on flowers. We rented ferns for the front of the church. I splurged for a string trio and the photographer. No dj or alcohol. Service held on Sunday afternoon. Catering was a local lady who does it on the side and brought all the stuff with her. Cupcakes instead of cake b/c you can transport them yourself and don't have a delivery cost. Wedding dress and alterations were gifts. Centerpieces were stacks of gardening books bought at a used book store, potted ferns, and country doilies. Favors were a shout-out to my home state of Michigan with 4 oz. maple syrup bottles. We paid as we went and were probably 6-7K. I'd say don't get caught up in all the crazy magazine and TV show stuff, do what you want, and you will be happy with how it turns out.
I'm engaged so I've been trying to figure out how to keep everything frugal here. I wanted to do everything super cheap originally, but after talking to my parents, I realized it was very important to them to be able to invite all of the extended family (we have a very large family) and to treat the friends and family who are coming in from opposite coasts to a good meal. So with a large guest list and a catered meal, "frugal" went out the window. But there are other things that I'm not spending much money on, eg flowers from my mom's garden for centerpieces in mason jars, not renting a limo, etc.
I was thinking about the whole who pays thing. At first I thought it was sexist, but it spreads the wedding costs around, since there are about the same number of boys and girls in the country. But then again some families like mine have 3 girls and no boys so maybe its not that fair!
My wedding cost $1000. It was only 40 guests (our nearest and dearest), but it was at a very nice entertainment/dance complex so the only cost for the reception was food. I rented my wedding gown, hubby's tux was free with our dads' rentals, cake and flowers were from the local grocery store (beautiful!) Our friend photographed and my brother taped as their gifts.
It almost sounds cheesy writing it, but it was really nice. Everyone enjoyed themselves. 🙂
My wedding didn't cost much, but in my area, a fancy wedding with a sit-down fancy dinner is almost unheard of. Mine was pretty typical. I did have a fancier dress ($700), but I had a photographer who was also a friend take the photos. He gave me all the photos he took, untouched, and I went through the thousands (literally) of shots and worked them myself. We had sandwiches from a local sandwich shop, shrimp plates from Costco, pinwheel sandwiches made ahead and several other cold appetizers we could just take out of the refrigerator and set out quickly before the guests got their after the wedding. My wedding was in our church and the reception was in the lodge at the local ski area. Wedding was at 11, so it was a lunch wedding. For flowers, we picked wild flowers for the reception, and I used our bouquets to decorate the cake table. For church flowers, I bought a large flower arrangement for the altar, then relied on the prettiness of the church for the rest of the atmosphere. It was all pretty laid-back, and I had fun.
My husband and I were married this past February in Toulouse, France. Since I'm American and he's French there were different expectations but a lot of flexibility helped everything fall into place. Due to some problems with French bureaucracy, we planned the whole affair in 3 weeks! Given such short notice, we didn't have time to send invitations and informed everyone by phone/email. The only time slot left at City Hall that weekend was for 10:30 Saturday morning, so we took it. There was no fee to be married there and it's a beautiful building inside and out. I found an off-white dress and blazer combo for about $300 -both can we worn again. My husband bought a new suit for the occasion but wore a tie he already had. We found my engagement ring at a Pawn Shop in the US -it's from the 1920s and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We did end up paying full retail price for our wedding bands, though we could've found something cheaper had we had more time to look into it. My husband's grandmother very kindly offered to pay for the flowers (2 centerpieces and one bouquet). My sister took some wonderful pictures, as did my inlaws and other friends. After the ceremony we had coffee at a local café before going to lunch. I think my husband's parents paid for lunch and my parents paid for dinner later that day -something egalitarian like that. Good food is essential at any French wedding, even a last minute one! Originally we'd planned on getting married in July, but the fact that we moved the date up to February actually allowed our American guests to find cheaper plane tickets, even if a strike almost prevented them from getting here. My parents and sister were able to come, and at the end of the day it's friends and family that count. I may forget some of the details as the years go by, but I'll never forget that they were with me on that day. For the honeymoon, we spent 4 nights in the Pyrenees in a little rental studio we found online for 250 dollars. We did some cross country skiing and soaking in the local hot springs. Definitely not exotic, but relaxing and peaceful just the same. Neither my husband nor I enjoy being the center of attention, so a small, simple, fun weekend with family and a few close friends was perfect for us. Advice? Do what works for you, your fiance and your families. Stress and anxiety about expenses should be saved for "real" problems, not party planning. However you decide to celebrate, enjoy!
Oh my goodness, I never commented on this one, and I definitely should have.
My awesome bodyguard hubby and I got married on our 5 year anniversary. It was a Friday, and we had the retired sheriff marry us (he wore a baseball hat! yay!) in the park by the courthouse. It was a GORGEOUS spring day - we totally lucked out on that. Ways we kept it cheap:
- He wore clothes he already owned.
- I didn't buy a "wedding dress" - I bought a beautiful blue wrap top I'd been wanting for a while and a new long black skirt. I already had shoes (mohops, which I must recommend, as they are vegan and handmade in Chicago).
- We invited immediate family only. For me, this was parents/siblings/nieces; for him, this was parents and one grandfather.
- We did not tell anybody else, so no invitations were needed.
- We had a small lunch at a restaurant afterwards; we just took a private room. No dj, music, or dancing. My parents paid for this.
- My sister works at a fancy hotel, and the baker there was kind enough to make our wedding cake, which we were going to do without because they're expensive.
- No booze. (Everybody was driving afterwards.)
- Location was the town we met, which was close enough that almost everybody could just drive in for the day.
- We did buy a plane ticket for my brother so he could come.
- We did get a good photographer (college friend of ours); she was not cheap, but because we didn't do the whole 8 hours of wedding mess, it was more like an engagement photo session cost. His parents paid for this.
- I do not have an engagement ring. This was my choice. Our wedding rings are simple titanium inlaid with wood.
- Everybody brought daffodils and bubbles - this made for a really fun after ceremony/picture taking time.
I think our totel cost was well under $5000, including everything anybody paid for. And it was a GREAT day - very low stress, and very fun. 😀 I'm grinning thinking about it now.
Two of my daughters are married, one in 2009 and the latest just a month ago. They were lovely weddings and not extravagant. I did all the flowers for both weddings, in silks, because this way you can spend and create over time! I could not have been more happy with the results.
Daughter # 1 got her dress at David's, for--unbelievably- $99!! It was her dream dress, and she looked so perfect....the alterations were twice that, but we still came in under $350 for the whole shebang. One thing that helped in the expenses for both weddings was that we had a year to plan and save. I did not charge one cent for either wedding, it was all cash. Daughter #2 lives in Los Angeles and the wedding was here in Houston. Aside from the reception, travel was their biggest expense. BUT the couple paid for that themselves, as well as the reception. (buffet dinner). We went halfsies on the cakes, the photographer, the materials for the pew markers ( framed black and white candid pictures of the bride and groom, hung from black ribbon at the end of the pews), and the materials for the bridesmaids bouquets, which I made.Also the favors, mini real pumpkins which I covered with black lace pulled tight so the pumpkin showed through,( it was three days before Halloween) and a printed tag attached to the stem that said Trick or Treat from_____( their names).I made a 100 of those little suckers! These were placed at each place setting and looked so cute on the ten round tables. My youngest daughter is a hairstylist and did hair and makeup( despite being maid of honor- lol) and we paid for the DJ. I made payments over seven months time, it wasn't too painful!! My daughter also bought her own dress. Now at her age (30). Well established job, etc. things are different than they were for my younger daughter who was a college student. We paid for virtually that whole wedding. Again, it wasn't extravagant and I had a great headstart on saving!