The Power of Positive Peer Pressure
I promise I didn't do all the alliteration on purpose. 😉
Peer pressure usually gets a bad rap (and it is true that hanging around spendy people can tempt you to spend), but I've noticed that the right sort can have a very positive impact on the way that I view my finances.
Fresh Inspiration
Back when I first got married I made my way through The Tightwad Gazette for the first time.
I noticed that even though I wasn't necessarily applying specific actions from my reading (I'm sorry, but I am not going to make a hammock from six-pack rings.*), I was more inclined to make frugal choices because reading the book put me into a frugal mindset.
*Something that has always bugged me about that story: wouldn't it be cheaper to just not buy six-packs of drinks and use that money to buy an actual hammock?
I've read a number of frugal books since then, and while I've never applied every tip from each book, they all have managed to re-inspire me in my frugal journey.
I find that the same thing happens to me when I read personal finance/frugality blogs...just reading about someone else who is saving instead of spending makes me motivated to do the same.
In addition, it also makes me feel like saving is possible...someone else is doing it, so I probably can too!
A new perspective on deprivation
Sometimes, especially if you're new to the whole frugality thing, saving money can lead to feelings of deprivation, and here again, I find that frugal reading is helpful.
If you read about other people who live without cable or who don't eat out (and who seem to be doing fine in spite of that!), it can help you feel less alone and not as weird.
So, if you find yourself feeling discouraged and lacking motivation, immerse yourself in some good frugal reading.
- Subscribe to or bookmark some frugal blogs
- Check out a personal finance book from the library
- Read some new articles about saving money...reading even something small each day can help keep you on track.
- Subscribe to personal finance podcasts
Some frugal reading ideas
Here are a few resources for you to utilize if you don't already have some regular frugal reading incorporated into your life.
And remember what I said earlier...not everything these authors have to say will be helpful to you, but you'll probably pick up a few good ideas and some inspiration too.
- The NonConsumer Advocate Katy is part of the compact(she buys nothing new, with a few important exceptions), and she blogs about living a scaled-back, green, and frugal life.
- The Tightwad Gazette This volume, which is a compendium of Amy Dacyzyn's Tightwad Gazette newletters, is a fun and inspiring read. You can buy it used or get it from your library for free. 🙂 There are some crazy ideas in this book, and some of the info is very dated, but it's still a classic.
- MoneySavingMom Crystal's blog has more coupon/deal/freebie/sample stuff than I normally enjoy, but there are some meatier posts sprinkled in, and those are more helpful to me.
There are also quite a few lists of frugal blogs to check out if you do some googling.
Here's a list of 25 from Midwest Modern Mama.
And here's a list of 35 from the Prudent Penny Pincher.
Great post! Do you remember that I stumbled on your site from No Impact Man's? If anyone had asked me 6 months ago I would have identified myself more as an environmentalist than a frugalista (I didn't even know that moniker existed 6 months ago!), but I came here and definitely found a kindred spirit.
Your blog has inspired me in so many wonderful ways - I never would have imagined I could feed my family for less than $80 a week and now I do it routinely thanks to adopting your practice of careful menu planning and shopping. I could go on...but suffice to say that I am grateful for your example in the world.
Yes, I entirely agree about the "frugal mindset." I started my blog with the intention of documenting how to live a year without buying anything new (The Compact) and soon found Katy's blog and then yours (and also Stacey's!) I didn't know the term frugalista, and I didn't know all these blogs existed, but I've found such great advice and inspiration from them. It actually makes me feel sorry for people who are thinking of spending less and cutting back as a deprivation.
Thanks Kristen for all your great posts, recipes, and inspiration.
The frugal mindset is key. You can want to save all the money in the world, but if you are tempted by the mall or don't see the value in cooking great meals for the family, you won't.
Sometimes the best things we can do for one another include setting examples and providing encouragement. Hope is one of the things that keeps us going from day to day, and examples and encouragement can offer hope to people that may be feeling hopeless about their debt, their income, or their financial prospects.
Also, it's gratifying to get notes from people who thank you for your website and say that they were seriously thinking of giving up on their frugal lifestyle until they read your words of encouragement. When they tell you that what you share confirms that they are on the right track and they'll stay the course, that's very rewarding.
Clair
I've always felt like a frugal weirdo (and I was frugal and poor before it was cool! :-)) so finding a community of like-minded people online has been very comforting to me. There are no "yummy mummies" to deal with, just really great ideas and wonderful people who give me hope that it can be done.
You are so right, it is so easy to fall off the frugal wagon. I have all the volumes of the Tightwad Gazette and some of the suggestions are extreme frugality.
"...it can help you feel less alone and not as weird."
Oh my- these words were like a breath of fresh air blowing over my weary frugal head!
I live with a SPENDER. As he is happily plowing through every penny he makes, I sometimes feel REALLY LONELY and very weird just talking to him!
I am exactly like Julia- I was frugal WAY before it was cool. And for years, my frugality was a tight lipped, secret I held close to the chest!
Thank you for the soothing comfort of virtual friends to share frugality with!
I always have to sort through my thoughts after reading The Tightwad Gazette. It's easy to start feeling guilty for not shredding old potato chip bags into ribbon for decorating packages! (Yes, that's an actual tip.) I think each of us has to come to our own point of balance between frugality and extreme-ness. But you're right--the more frugal input we get, the more we are inspired in that direction!
Great post - nothing like positive reinforcement, especially for those of us whose significant other is not so frugally-inclined!
I am not new to the whole frugal way of life- it's something I've always felt comfortable with and have lived this way since I had my first child in 1997. I enjoy reading other blogs (most of the one's you mentioned are in my regular rotation) and learning/hearing about other people's frugal lives. Having said that, I can't abide Amy Dacyzn (or however you spell it) and her Tightwad Gazette. I first read her book many years ago- at least 10 years ago if I remember correctly. My impression then, and now, is that she is not frugal, she is cheap. There's a difference. I remember thinking at the time that the way she treated her children was the worst aspect of her lessons in frugality. The one bit that horrified me the most was in one section she writes how no one is "allowed" to not like any type of food and if a child complains they don't like something, they are given extra helpings which they are forced to then eat. It was barbaric in my opinion. To this day it bugs me when people hold her up to some high standard as the goddess of frugality.
Sarah, if you Google a bit, you'll find some articles by/about her children. They sound happy and well-adjusted to me. And yes, they had plenty to say about their upbringing that you might find enlightening. And would you please cite exactly where in her book(s) she says she force fed her children extra helpings of something they didn't like? Go ahead, I can wait. I have plenty of time. You see, I'm FIRE now, in large part because of what I learned from Amy D-A-C-Y-C-Z-Y-N way back then.
You're perfectly entitled to your opinion, but keeping it factual is important. I've read the book(s) at least twenty times. Her opinions have proven very helpful in forming my own. I didn't apply everything I learned, but there was so much good information, it was easy to separate the wheat from the chaff. I buy every used copy of the BigBlueBook I see and I've gifted it many times.
IIRC, my other favorite blogger, Katy, over at The Non-Consumer Advocate, had a great Amy D. Interview a few years ago and a nice follow-up article.
https://thenonconsumeradvocate.com/amy-dacyczyn-interview/
https://thenonconsumeradvocate.com/amy-dacyczyn-and-me/
Finally, once I had saved some money and needed to learn what yo do with it, I found Mr. Money Mustache (especially the MMM Forum) insanely helpful. Also, if jlcollinsnh's Stock Series had been written sooner, it would have been a gift from heaven.
https://jlcollinsnh.com/stock-series/
Sarah...I don't remember her giving her kids extra helpings. I know she has a more strict food policy than I do(here, we serve one thing and you can eat it or not, but you don't get other options, whereas she made her children eat everything she made).
I do plan to reread the TG soon here, so I'll keep an eye out for that.
I recall that if one of her children complained loudly at the dinner table about a food she would whisper to the child to stop and tell the child that continuing to loudly complain would result in her serving extra of the disliked food to the child.
Her goal was to prevent the common scenario in big families where one child's complaining about something prompts other kids to "follow the leader" and start refusing to eat that food, even if they really did like it. When one of our kids complains and the others (who had been happily eating it! Sometimes they had even requested we have it!) follow suit, I always think of that part Amy's book. In our house we tend to say - "you don't have to like it, but don't ruin it for other people."
For frugal inspiration, I'd second the recommendation below of The Prudent Homemaker. It's unbelievable how little they spend (and how little $$ they have). I get practical inspiration and ideas while also feeling like we have an abundance in our house. I'm not a big fan of her recipes, as my palate matches Kristen's whereas The Prudent Homemaker recipes tend to taste overly sweet to me (even her salads, etc). However, for people who like their food on the sweet-side, her site offers a treasure trove of recipes, as well as full meal plans.
I NEVER force my son to eat something he doesn't want to. When I was a kid, I had to eat a plate of creamed tuna on toast before I was allowed to go see our neighbor's horses. This was about 1972, and I can still taste that stuff and remember gagging on it. That's also how eating disorders can start, being forced to eat when you're not hungry and getting away from listening to your own body. So if my son balks at eating something, or gives up after a tiny bite, we drop it and he eats something else. As he gets older (almost 8) he does eat more and more things, but it's happening naturally, instead of by force. It's child abuse to force a kid to eat an extra serving of something they don't like! I read the TG about 6 years ago so I don't remember that part exactly either. Kristen, make sure you post about it if you find it.
That's weird, it put a smiley face instead of an "8", extra credit for style, I guess!
Hey and maybe I'm a vegetarian now because my parents forced me to eat so much meat when I was little. Blame the parents, I love it. My son can post about me in 35 years!...
Ohhh, I think if you type an 8 and then a parenthesis, it does a smiley!
I don't ever force my kids to eat anything they don't want to eat...I just don't offer other options(I can see myself ending up as a short order cook for six people that way!). Mostly this just occurs at dinnertime, as at lunch and breakfast we have sort of a multiple choice thing going on(you can choose cereal or oatmeal or a bagel at breakfast, for example).
Most of the time mine choose to eat their dinner, and there's not a lot of drama over it all, especially as they get older(everyone but the three-year old is pretty much on board now).
My children would tend to eat nothing but starchy carbs if we allowed them to eat whatever they want...they'd want to eat crackers instead of their fajitas, for example.
Anyways...this is what works for us. My children are happy and healthy, and I only have to cook one meal for all six of us. lol
My mom’s rule was simple: you can eat what she cooked, or you can make yourself a scrambled egg. Those were the only options. My older sister and I mostly ate what mom cooked. My kid sister ate a lot of scrambled eggs.
I totally agree. Reading about frugality helps keep me on my path of low consumption. When you're surrounded by consumerism it's easy to stray. Thanks to all the frugality bloggers (like Kristen!) motivation is aplenty.
I am relatively new to this frugality thing. I grew up in a frugal household but once I started in the workforce earning pretty good money put that behind me. Over the past 6 months or so I've changed my ways completely - my husband is struggling with the frugal concept but I am hoping if I stick with it he will see it is a better way to live.
It is blogs like these that keep me on track.
Try this to get Crystal’s blog without the freebies and deals articles. https://moneysavingmom.com/no-deals/
http://annienygma.com
You will feel rich after reading Annie's blog. This woman earns minimum wage at a part time job yet is investing in the stock market.
http://www.freebieshark.com is one of my favorites, not a frugal living as a lifestyle type blog, but lots of free deals. coupons, etc.
One of my favorites, besides this one of course, is theprudenthomemaker.com. Brandy is a mother of 9 and makes frugality beautiful!
Another of my faves also! Always so pretty.
She has such beautiful photography!
I'm a long time member of the frugal club. I read many of the blogs you listed, or at least know of them. I started my own blog about our frugal ventures nearly 10 years ago, but have had dry spells....of over a year at a time! One of my goals this year was to post weekly....I'm at about 75%, Ha! My husband and I currently work at International Christian School in Hong Kong, but we spend summers at our home in Maine. If any of you are interested in how saving money looks over here, or for tips on cheaper travel, I'd love to have you read a post or two! And Kristen, just fyi, your blog is one of the few I actually read every day:) https://triciacliff.blogspot.com/2019/03/my-2019-goals-quarter-year-grades.html
Aww, thank you for that compliment. I'm so glad you enjoy my blog. 🙂
And I will go check yours out!
You're welcome...and thanks!
Great points on the frugal mindset! Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of the frugal blogs see some success, then turn into a barrage of advertisements and thinly veiled infomercials. One thing I love about NCA is that Katy doesn’t try to sell us stuff; for the same reason, I stopped reading Money Saving Mom long ago.
Reading conscious spending blogs (my term for them, as that is how I put a positive spin on them) is helpful in that, as you note, there may not be lots that applies but always one or two takeaways to inspire and motivate, if not actual tips.
No matter how long one is consciously spending, you can feel deprived at certain times, particularly if you have a peer group with a higher income, etc. The key for me is to have a financial goal in mind, very specific (not just "savings") and relevant to my life. Emergency fund; vacation fund; gift-giving fund; new furniture fund; house repair fund; new house fund, etc.
For me, when I am saving TOWARDS something, it is NOT doing without something. I am creating/building something via good choices. A positive, not a negative (oh, I can't have the dinner out I want. We can't go to this event.)
This is tempered by realistic choices to spend on something we want every now and then.
And were it to be a situation where there were very dramatic financial needs that dominated our available dollars, as might be the case for medical bills or credit card debt, I would remind myself that sometimes things come up that even the best budgeting and saving can't prevent (medical bills) and that cutting back is essential if we have exceeded what we should spend (unnecessary credit card debt).
I have to focus on the positive aspects of NOT spending at will and choosing to put away money.
When it comes to the actual ways and means, I live by the rule that you should never spend more than you have to for any item and always look for the least expensive (but quality) or best priced (sometimes the lowest price is NOT the best price for items that you want to keep/use for a long time). And, most important, do I really either need or want it?
I've learned to wait days, weeks and months sometimes to make a decision and found that I really don't want or need something.
What I really enjoy about your blog is your very cheerful (but realistic) attitude towards conscious spending and very practical tips and examples.
I wish I could find a similar blog that is geared towards those of us who are single and live alone as that is a whole other way of living/spending. Families with children have their own unique issues with money. Also, living in a big city adds another dimension to finances.
If you know of such a blog, I'd appreciate getting its URL. Thank you.
My friend Gwen blogs at Fiery Millenial; she's single but dating. Maybe her blog would resonate with you a bit?
Check out Dollar Tree for adult level books to read. Great hardcover new books for one dollar. I'm reading one right now on geology in Alaska and a tragic earthquake quake in the 60s.
I'm so lucky. I raised a family of thrifters. We all love to compare our deals.