You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. But you could.
"You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." says the song.
And I think that's true for most of us, most of the time.
We go through life somewhat mindlessly, not really appreciating what we have until it's taken from us.
- We don't notice the blessing of heat or A/C until it breaks.
- We don't appreciate our comfy bed until we spend multiple nights in the ER.
- We don't notice how wonderful baby snuggles are until our babies grow up.
- We don't appreciate breathing until we get a cold.
- We don't notice the sunshine until clouds appear.
But it doesn't need to be this way.
There's nothing stopping us from appreciating what we've got while we have it!
Two things help me to see what I have before it's gone, and maybe they'll help you too.
1. Remember that things will change.
Often, we don't appreciate what we've got simply because we think we will have it forever.
But pretty much nothing in this world is forever.
Babies grow up.
Children leave home.
Bodies wear out.
Jobs end.
Neighborhoods change.
People change.
I know this can be sort of a depressing line of thinking if you dwell too much on it, but I think it's a useful tool to help motivate us to see what we have right now.
Shortly before Lisey was born, something happened to someone else (a long story that's not mine to tell!) that reminded me there was no guarantee I'd have more babies in the future.
Because of that, I treasured Lisey like she was my last baby, soaking up the newborn snuggles, making sure to notice and appreciate all the lovely things about her baby self.
I remember often sitting for a few extra minutes after burping her post-feeding in the middle of the night, just memorizing the warm feel of her sleeping on me.
I did the same with Sonia.
And then with Zoe.
The realization that things could change made me appreciate what I had in the moment.
And it made me not take those babies for granted.
I paid attention!
Which is my other point:
2. Pay attention to what's good.
Humans are pretty prone to paying attention to the things that are going wrong.
That's useful to some extent, since we often need to address/fix the things that are going wrong!
But sometimes this means we don't pay attention to the things that are going right.
I am just as guilty of this as the next person, but I feel better when I make a point of noticing the things that are good, or even just the things that are not going wrong.
Some things that are not going wrong examples:
- none of my appliances are broken right now
- I can breathe (no cold at the moment!)
- I can exercise (my body is still young enough to move easily)
- No one has been to the ER recently
- My car is working great (no breakdowns or flat tires)
And some "pay attention to what's good" examples:
- The sun came out
- This coffee is delicious
- Zoe and Sonia want hugs, even though they are teenagers (!)
- Lisey gave me a compliment
- My pastor preaches encouraging sermons
- Our church has great opportunities for serving in the local community
Yesterday was a beautiful spring like day and we hiked in a state park, by the river
I'm in my 60s but still able to do yoga and Pilates and just about everything else
I have a mild hearing loss but I'm able to give modern hearing aids a try
I have many people in my life that care about me
Most of my problems are first world
I have a home, a vehicle, enough of the basics and the ability to share our abundance
K D
I love your line, "Most of my problems are first world" . That's how I feel. I have a picture, of someone I supported through 'Kiva', on my bathroom room mirror, so I look at it each morning and am reminded to be thankful of what I have.
You reminded me of the time I had dropped off some food to the local women's shelter. Even though it has been over 30 years ago I still remember. I saw a woman who I had grown up and gone all through school with. I said a little prayer and went right home and thanked my honey for being such a great husband.
Do we get mad at each other at times, of course but I know I'm very blessed to have him in my life.
My good is, I painted and cleaned my kitchen. Which was free. Had to buy a new stove and have the money to go do that. I like to bake and didn't want to go without. Honey ask what are you cooking first, pizza.☺
What's not going wrong:
Neither of our vehicles is broken.
Nobody is sick.
Nothing on or in our home is currently in need of repair for anything major (including the people, ha)
What's good:
I have all my children at home with me all the time (this in reference to the fact that I know the days are coming soon where they go all different directions and then leave for good and I know I'll worry about them all the time)
The puncture wound my husband got from a nail is healing well with no other intervention necessary than a tetanus booster.
I'm drinking my coffee without a 30-pound toddler hanging on me. 🙂
Not wrong (although it feels a little like tempting whatever little evil-makers are out there): nobody is sick in my house, the electricity's not out, there's not a shattered plate in the kitchen that I have to clean up.
Good: The smell of homemade breakfast sausage cooking in my kitchen right now, the view out my front window of all the gorgeous hills and ridges as the sun is coming up, my teenage boy reading to my kindergartner before breakfast (and I didn't ask him to), our taxes are done, and I think I'll drink Early Grey with breakfast (and that's always good).
P. S. I think this will be a post I come back to later today (after a few things go wrong and aren't good) just to read the comments!
Me too. So far there's a lot of lovely warm morning beverages. 😉
The scene you've described is beautiful and makes me smile. Thanks for invoking my senses to imagine something so delightful!
It should be noted that soon after I posted my comment, the teenager decided he no longer wanted to read, so the kindergartner threw a big fit until big brother caved. (Just wanted to make sure that we keep it real around here!)
I am truly so thankful every day that I take a warm shower. I think about how many people in this world do not have adequate water, let alone delightful warm showers!
Me too! A warm shower and a comfy bed are 2 of life's luxuries I am conscious of and thankful for every single day.
Yes. A warm/hot shower is SUCH a lovely experience.
What a great think to make us think about on a Monday morning!
*My children are generally healthy other than the occasional runny nose and cold.
*Both my husband and I have jobs that provide what is needed.
*My father had cataract surgery on Thursday and is healing well and can see much better than before!
*(a little giggle here) We have plenty of food (enough so that I've gained a few extra pounds this year!)
We eat supper together every night
My husband and I both have jobs
I am involved in my children's lives
We are all healthy
"Paint paradise, and put up a parking lot."
Many things are not wrong and/or are currently good, both immediate and longer term. My husband started another pot of coffee just now. It seems improbable that there will be a repeat of last year's horrific bomb cyclone. The baby (not a baby, almost 4) is satisfied with the magnet dress-up dolls. So far this year freelancing has been good to me. This is the time of year when I do the most dreaming and feel most optimistic — in between farming seasons and full of hope for the year ahead.
I do sort of mourn the stages that seem to pass so quickly, but I've never been the sort to say, "Oh, I will so miss being 43," and cry on my birthday over the lost/passed time. It's never made sense to me. So much is behind, and although an earthbound future isn't a guarantee, it's likely we will have one. Live the now, enjoy the opportunities, and hope for tomorrow.
I have a circle of people who deeply care about my family.
My husband is a man of integrity.
My 3yo sees God answer his prayers.
My 6yo is growing so much and becoming more responsible.
My 1yo loves to laugh and give hugs. The way she lays down to go to sleep is also very cute.
We have enough money to buy food for our family and pay our bills.
Currently my hubby and I both have jobs and are eating well. We are both relatively healthy and have future grandchildren to look forward to. In the immediate, I am off this week and that gives me an enormously happy sense of possibility for all I can do this week!
I just finished "The Grumble-Free Year" by Tricia Goyer. The wrap up of it was not grumbling at all is impossible. The positive side was that it made me think more about not grumbling and looking for the positive in all situations even the hard ones.
We have excellent health insurance that covers 100% of our 6yo daughter's Type 1 Diabetes medications after we meet our deductible (which has already happened this year)! Although managing an autoimmune disease in a child is beyond challenging - we are SO grateful for this bright spot!
Good insurance is such a gift. We get EOBs that show what our insurance pays for our kid's care, and it's astronomical. It's only because of good insurance that we can support our son.
I really love this, it's a mindset that takes time but is so worth it. One of the only constants is change.
I'm on maternity leave and getting lots of baby cuddles. We can have lazy mornings or choose to get a lot done around the house.
Both kiddos are healthy and growing well.
Coffee in the morning brings me joy.
We have enough money to buy in bulk and be prepared if we need to quarantine for corona virus. We have time and knowledge to prepare.
I ran today for the first time in weeks because I am finally well enough. It was so good to get out.
I was up with my son in the night (very common), and he responded to my soothing (uncommon) and went back to sleep. His heart is being healed, and I'm enjoying the change I see and the ability I have to comfort him, as a mom should be able to with their littles.
My children love snuggles. And one of them still snuggles in the same spot he did as an infant, even though he's mostly too big to fit. It's his comfort spot, and I think it will be years before he gives it up.
I have clean comfy warm socks.
I am part of a group of people (my tribe, as it were) that cares for and prays for each other without reserve.
God loves me without any reservation, and sees me in the midst of the hard and dark, and in the midst of the joy and heights, and he cares for me and provides for me through each moment.
Love these!
Thank you for this post. Very uplifting.
This is perfect for a Monday, thank you!
I have a grandchild who turns four today and she's not sick on her birthday for about the first time ever. Poor child, she's had the worst luck on her birthdays but today she's fine.
I had so many well-wishes for my own birthday this weekend.
The weather was good so I was able to do some spray painting outside and neither sweat nor get cold. Ah.
Last year this time, I was getting our well pump worked on and had no water, so that water that comes on in an instant now is very, very appreciated.
We had a wonderful women's retreat at church this weekend.
My very expensive medication was approved by my new insurance. My co-pay should be $150 per delivery but I am on the manufacturer's assistance program so I only pay $5 per delivery.
My dishwasher is working great. If you've read my comments in the last few years, you know this is a huge deal for me!
Our kids are kind, responsible adults, and have stayed close to us. That's truly a blessing.
Although we will still have some colder days, the azaleas are starting to bloom, and soon our yard will be filled with spring color.
Wow....
This is awesome!
Woke up not feeling well but got up and started doing what needed to be done and I feel so much better. Thanking God for helping me work through it and get the day off to a great start! Now, onto doing me BSF homework!
I loved BSF!!!
Most of my hearing has been restored and my vertigo attacks are down. A year ago I was looking at getting a hearing aid but now I can mostly hear just fine again.
My daughter is asking more questions about God and it's been wonderful to explain to her about Him.
I have enough extra money to treat my wife to something nice every now and again.
I have a well stocked pantry and can bake or cook a lot of different things with short notice.
That is one of the many things I am thankful for. Baking is stress relief for me and I am so pleased my appliances work and I have a well stocked baking pantry.
I am feeling good, my family is doing well, and my son (will still give hugs--as a teenager) has great respectful friends. We have so much. And the sun is shining! And the sidewalks are snow/ice free! So many good things.
I'm so glad your vertigo has been better. After watching Mr. FG go thru that last fall, I hate to hear of anyone else suffering with that!
There has been a long and bitter break between my son and I that hit a healing point this past month. We spent the entire day with our grandchildren. What an incredible time. I'm hoping, and planning, the healing will continue.
My 77 year old husband is still with me. Love him so much and thank God for him every day.
That is so lovely to hear. May the healing continue!
I do this almost every Monday morning and remind myself how incredibly lucky I am to have the obligation to get up and go to work. While I'd obviously rather take long walks on the beach instead of working every day, I'm insanely blessed to have a great job that covers our family expenses and leaves some room to play. I'm lucky to be able to get up and go to that job because my family and I are healthy enough to lead "normal" lives. As I watch dear friends and family struggle with different aspects of their lives, it is a reminder to cherish what I have in mine.
Yes indeed , wealth is health ! Have a pleasant week ahead of you !
Try to remember to thank God for clean sheets and a comfortable bed each night. Blessed having the ability to worship Sunday morning with no fear of being arrested. Our church held a commissioning ceremony for a couple leaving to serve in Kenya & just knowing all the many people this took to make happen puts any petty aggravations in perspective.
beautifully expressed -- thanks
i am handicapped and homebound due to breathing problems. But it helps me to dwell on what I can do not what Ive lost. I have afamily who lovenly cares for me, a warm & comfortable home, plenty of food & drink. God is good to me
Amen , and yes we have and are blessed with many things , cause you never know what's tomorrow, life for the moment!
I don’t have cancer, and neither does my immediate family. We have had 3 people who are close to us pass away, or have been Terminally diagnosed within the last 3 months. Young, old and in between. It’s heartbreaking, and also a good reminder that we have no guarantees. Live the best life you are able.
I have been reading all of the news and beginning to try to prepare for the corona virus as it makes its way to the major city I live in. The one thing I am trying to do amidst the underlying panic is to enjoy the days I have that are healthy and calm. I have prepared for some of the worst, but I have also enjoyed reading my book, spending time with my wonderful partner, preparing food for us both, walking in the park, and speaking with my loving family and friends over the phone and through text. I am even continuing to plan a vacation knowing in the back of my mind that it might be cancelled, but hoping it wont be. And even if it is, accepting and understanding that it is a privilege to be able to go on vacation and another to be able to cancel it to care of myself and others. I have been fortunate to be able to save enough money for an emergency fund, have good health (and health care), and to have a job that protects its employees.
I am so glad to see your post today and to read all of the wonderful comments. It truly brings warmth to my heart that even though we may lead different lives in different places with different beliefs, we can all take a moment to see the good in our world, together.
I had knee arthroscopic surgery approx 5 weeks ago. I've been going thru 4 weeks of PT. On Saturday, I got on my bike and rode 4 miles. Yesterday, I did 4-1/2 miles. This morning I did 5-1/2 miles. And I also notice that I am no longer limping or favoring that knee joint and can walk normal. This has tken 2 years. I am very thankful for the skilled MD and the physical therapists that helped me get back to being me.
And Thank You for reminding us that we should be thankful for the small things in life. This is a great post for a Monday.
Yes it truly is ! Kirsten is such a passionate Bloger , love today's thoughts!
This is the best post !! One line I always put out to the universe is " Thank you for blessings that are way to numerous to list or count ! "
After 4 days of Thoothache , finally I see the Dentist tomorrow , blessed to have the resources to pay for it ! Fortuned to have a place to call home , glad to have friends I can depend on and a Church to go to where I enjoy the Pastors sermons. So many people don't have the the basics thing we take for granted, like being loved or have loved because of circumstances , Family's on the run from war , hunger and killings , greedy people , governments etc. We all need to be grateful what we have !!To have faith , love , sympathy and understandings
At one time my husband was told to get his papers in order because his cancer had infiltrated his heart sack. Five surgeries and 30 years later he is still here. Six years go we had completed the paperwork for my entry into a hospice program because the doctors could not fix me. Enter a grumpy old doctor who did a last ditch 15th surgery and although I will never be what I was in terms of health and physical abilities, I am here to tell the story. There is not a day that I don't remember that no matter how annoying something is, none of it matters compared to what the husband and I have lived through. I am thankful for every breath we take.
I love your life stories, Lindsey, and I'm so glad you and your hubby are still here. <3
Life is a gift for sure!!
My husband willingly does little things to support me every day.
Ymine also and its a great feeling!es your a blessed !
What is not going wrong?
The roof is not leaking.
Our cat is eating again and not losing weight.
My daughter-in-law is over 37 weeks pregnant. Looks good!
I am not depressed today.
We have enough money to get through this month.
Attention to things that are good
I have supportive friends.
I absolutely love my husband.
I can still exercise.
I have lost 10 lbs consciously
I am grateful for the good people in my life.
I am grateful every day that we have a garage. We no longer have to scrape off cars!
When my husband is lying next to me and I wake in the middle of the night I always reach over, put my hand on him and thank God for sending him to me!
Wonderful post!
I am thankful for my health, my boys turning into fine young men, my husband. I'm thankful for music, and my 17 yo who plays piano to give us great background music. I'm thankful for my job. I get to use my gifts and bless others, all from home. That is just the start. I had a good upbringing, supportive in-laws, and extended family, a church that's like a family. And everyday beautiful things in nature--birds, deer, other creatures near our house.
Yes your a blessed !
This gets harder for me to do the older I get....I wish I had been better at it when I was young.
I'm grateful to be strong enough to be my grandson's caregiver 20 hours a week...to play in the floor, walk in the woods, wrestle & climb with him.
I seriously love my bed. It is such a wonderful place to be.
I love the noise when my grown son & his family are here & the quiet when they leave.
I am Blessed that I'm cancer free for 10 years now! Ever single day is a Blessing!! I'm a breast cancer survivor.
That is wonderful!
I am working more hours this week due to a co-worker being gone on vacation. I am not exhausted at the end of the day. For over a year I have been working less than 1/2 time.
At present I have my granddaughter with me. At two and a half her baby ways are changing. Today I have had not had a cuddle but instead she has stood beside me, held my hand and smiled a lot. Most of the time she is a very obedient little girl and it is joy and a privilege to have her with me two days each working week.
At present we have sunshine after many days of rain and some smells as I live in Australia. Autumn has started and I a so looking forward to shorter and less hot days. The house is becoming less cluttered by the day. I have clothes, food and many first world items so I am luckier than many.
I count my blessings every day. I am fit and well in my 70s. I have a home to live in. My children are all grown and though I may not see or talk to them daily, they are there for me. I have abundant food and I have freedom. Freedom of speech, religion, thought, political power that so many in this world do not have. Oh yes. And my mucky, sandy, ever so happy pup!!
We have a down comforter on our bed that keeps us super snuggly every night.
Our 12 year old dog is still in great health.
Our weather is unseasonably warm and sunny today.
My husband of 23 years makes me hot tea every night.
I have not had a migraine in months.
Veru quickly I read : "my husband makes me hot every night". I thought to myself: " woah, after 23 years, lucky lady!"
Haha!
I am in Hong Kong right now, so you might imagine what that entails. But:
1) I work at a school, which is off until at least April 20. I am still getting paid. It's great to have free time.
2) My adult kids are all safe in the US.
3) My coworkers are all figuring out ways to encourage each other.
4)The weather is perfect, and the flowers beautiful. It's great to have time to hike.
5) People have quit panic buying...stores are stocked. We have everything we need!
6) God has given us complete peace. We are where we are supposed to be.
7) Everything is cancelled, so we are saving lots of money.
8) The mortality rate of Covid is very low.
This too shall pass!
It's been a rough day, so I needed this:
-We have plenty of food, and enough money to handle life's little emergencies.
-We both have good jobs, and reasonably good health insurance
-It was sunny today
-I had lunch with a friend, and caught up on life
-Many people care about me
-The dishwasher is currently running, as I'm reminded that we have: running water, power, & the resources to pay for them. Plus, working appliances
-I am typically able to flex my work schedule to be there for the kids activities
I get to be home with my babies every day. Safeway has a drive-up-and-go service that means food is incredibly easy to get, and I'm a good cook so it's relatively easy to make. All our appliances work, and in this rental we even have an icemaker for the first time. We're all healthy for the first time in six weeks. The sunshine in our town is amazing and wonderful year round. None of my children have needed expensive medical or dental treatment thus far, and they have all met developmental milestones in a timely manner. My mother-in-law is willing to drive 3.5 hours each way to pick up and drop off my older two for occasional weekend visits, and my sister lives nearby so she can visit any time and sometimes babysits. We bought a robovac from a Craigslister and it's amazing and wonderful with all the carpet in our new place. Our neighborhood is extremely walkable and safe, and today we walked to the park and picnicked and played in the sunshine. My kids were sweet to one another.
Today suddenly went sideways, and I went into thumb-sucking mode, so your post showed up at the perfect time.
Things that are not going wrong:
1) I can see the light (literally!) at the end of the tunnel with Daylight Savings coming up, and I'm looking forward to walking in the evening without a headlamp!
2) Went to Ash Wednesday service at the church I've struggled to belong to, and I thought the minister was a little miffed at me that I stopped coming about 2 years ago, and when I walked up to him and he put the ashes on my forehead, he smiled this gigantic, sincere smile and said, "Dear Sister" -- well, I just about cried, because all was right in the world at that moment (so hard to explain).
3) My stove repair was only $535, whereas a new stove that meets the weirdo requirements of our weirdo kitchen set-up would be about $3000 (yikes, right?!!).
Oregon Guest: I understand Exactly what you were trying to explain in #2. I hope you can hold onto that feeling of rightness.
Debt is a burden, but we are chiseling down the amount every week. That alone is empowering. Butterflies are good too. We have Zinnias from last year's garden that are blooming again and they always make me happy.
So appreciated this reminder. God Bless!! (HUGS)
This was so encouraging to me! Thank you so much for your positive perspective in what is so often a negative world.
Also, as a pastor's wife, I'd encourage you to make sure you tell your pastor that you like his sermons, often they only hear the bad feedback.
Yep, I let him know! It's so true that people usually are only inspired to say something when they're unhappy. I'm sure that must be very discouraging for pastors sometimes.
What I always took for granted is my voice. I've been without it for the past 2 weeks, and I have at least another week of complete silence ahead of me (accute laryngitis). It's isolating and frustrating to not be able to talk!
But it could be so much worst!! I work with stroke victims (rehabilitation). Now, THEY have it hard! I'm very grateful for my general health, let me tell you!
Thanks so much for this post! I am in the middle of report card writing (my least favourite aspect of teaching), but I have so many blessings!
My class is full of busy little people who generally have good attitudes and try their best. I have an assistant for my special needs student and he is doing very well. I have the opportunity to learn new things about teaching. My classroom is spacious and welcoming. I got to hear a live classical concert this last weekend. I have many people in my life that support the work I do as a teacher. And the list could go on.
There are challenges in my life right now as well, but the promise I am clinging to is that God says His grace is sufficient for all my needs. I have seen this in my life today, and I believe I will see it again tomorrow!
Remember that things will change.
I think this line is an univarsal truth. Love the way you think. Thanks for sharing.
Love from Emmy.
This was an encouraging post. I loved it. I have one teenage daughter turning 14 and when she 11 that is when things started changing...maybe 10.5.
3 years later we are struggling but it will get better, I know it. I do remember her baby years. Wish I had written a daily journal or video taped more