Use less self-control: Avoid spending triggers
I was listening to a How to Money podcast episode recently (while sanding Sonia and Zoe's beds!) and they said something about spending triggers...which triggered some thinking for me.
I've read in multiple books/posts/articles that we only have so much willpower to use over the course of a day. Because of this, it's smart to design your life so that it requires less willpower.
How do you avoid using willpower?
You get your gym clothes out the night before so that it takes less willpower to work out.
You put your alarm clock on the opposite side of the bedroom so that it takes less willpower to get out of bed.
You get drive-thru coffee so you don't have to use self-control to avoid the pastry.
You take a time-consuming game app off your phone so that you don't need to use self-control to avoid it.
You don't buy thin mint cookies at Aldi because then you don't have to spend willpower resisting them.
(Ok, that one is mainly applicable to me.)
The idea is that if you don't waste your willpower resources on those things, then you have more willpower left for other stuff.
Also, if you set things up so that they don't require self control or willpower, you are much more likely to stick with the habits/actions you want to stick with!
Think about your spending triggers
What things/places/times make you want to spend money that you shouldn't spend?
If you figure out what those are, then you can be mindful about avoiding them in the first place.
There's the trite classic: grocery shopping on an empty stomach.
For me: arriving at the 5:00 hour of the day with no meal plan. Takeout spending: triggered!
Maybe there's a store that woos your dollars from you (Can you shop somewhere else?)
Maybe there's a website that makes it too easy to spend (You could block it on your browser.)
Maybe having cash in your wallet makes you spend (That's Mr. FG. He's better with no cash on hand!)
Maybe having a credit card in your wallet makes you prone to spending.
The spending triggers are going to vary widely depending on the person, but pretty much everyone has them.
Take some time to think about your triggers (if you share money with someone, figure out the triggers for each of you!) and then see if you can think of a way to avoid or minimize your contact with the trigger.
Your financial situation will benefit and you'll be left with more self control for other things in your life.
The things that have helped me the most:
1. Unsubscribed to deal emails (Old Navy got me a lot with sales)
2. I don’t go shopping as a activity anymore. I only go into a store if I have a specific reason.
3. Oddly enough, paying for Express Lane grocery shopping at Harris Teeter. I buy from the app, which allows me to “shop” while I’m digging through the pantry to make sure I don’t overbuy. Plus looking at the list makes me think “we don’t need that much X” when I don’t think that just going through the store and grabbing stuff (even with a list).
4. If I’m buying online, unless I have to have it immediately, I let it sit in the cart a day, that makes me think about it first. And most of the time, I don’t buy it.
5. I only grocery shop once a week with almost no exception. Each trip to get “one thing” ends up with more. So, I automatically spend less by going less. I’ve been able to train myself and my family to figure out substitutes or wait until the next trip to get something. Now, I’m not mean about it - if someone needs medicine or milk, we go to the store BUT because I’ve built the mindset of “we go once a week,” we truly only make additional trips when it’s actual needs. It’s about twice a year or so when that happens. It’s been a nice lesson in needs vs wants.
The grocery store, and especially it's marked down items, trigger my spending/ overspending.
So I go only once a month. Yes, I get what we need that's on sale and many mark downs, but everything else I ask my niece to pick up (she has no spending trigger in grocery stores). This way I am always at or below budget and avoid temptation.
Yes! I read something similar in a Gretchen Rubin book. She was saying that our willpower is stronger in the morning, so if you need to do any hard task, the morning is the time to do it.
For me, I make sure I check email and work out in the morning. I don't like either of them, but if I don't get them done before 8 am, it's just not getting done. 😉
I think it's valuable to see how our brains work so we can save more money.
As far as spending triggers, it's Amazon. Any time I get bored in between projects or phone calls I'll scan Amazon and add items to my Shopping List. I used to have a big problem with impulse shopping on Amazon, so I need to cut this out entirely.
I am SO with you on the Amazon thing! I have a house full of "Deal of the Day" things that were a great price, and I'm sure that I might use it some day. but am running out of room. Seriously.
Amazon is soooooo tempting. A game changer for me is to add things to my cart and then save them for later. A lot of times I end up not buying these saved items. If I keep it saved for a couple of months and still want it, I'll buy it then. I also do some Internet searching to make sure it is the best price before buying. Many things on the saved list just end up getting deleted.
Here's my system of kludges: https://nicoleandmaggie.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/solving-problems-structurally-for-scatterbrained-people-with-no-willpower/
Also, the book Willpower by Baumeister is a really interesting read... and explains why I gain weight when I have crunch time at work. I need that additional energy to keep my brain willing to keep going.
Yes, this is all so true.
Unfortunately, Target is a big one for me. I only go occasionally for that very reason. I try to when I can have a little splurge and make it count as a special treat. Otherwise, I would come home with a full buggy each time.
I also do grocery pickup because it is easier for me to get exactly what I need AND keep an eye on my total while I shop. I usually keep that weeks menu close by so I pickup only what is needed.
Online shopping: putting in my cart and waiting 24 hours is a game changer for me . I often find that I didn't "need" an item nearly as much as I first thought I did!
This is me too. I really have to think ahead before I walk into certain areas of Target. It's all the cute home and kitchen decorative stuff that get me. The Targets around me are remodeled and they have pretty shopping sections that are so much more inviting.
Target: the entry fee is $65
With so many fluctuations in the farm economy, I've finally learned to just pretend to myself that it's always bad. It's only good once in a while (a Kansas State economist says to estimate 2 in 10 years will make money) and that's when we get to catch up — not spend.
I have also learned to be thankful that we live 12 miles from people who will prepare food for us and thankful that packing five kids into a vehicle for that 12 miles and then managing to order and calmly eat said food is waaaaaaayyyyyyy more work than cooking at home. I simply hate to cook. We will have a main dish and a vegetable every meal and they will be good, but boring, and that will have to do.
Lots of things I can't control have made me learn to maximize whatever willpower I'm granted, ha.
1. Meal prepping for the week and then going grocery shopping with a list- bringing your 2 young children can also be a good motivator to get out of the store quickly 😉
2. I don't keep money in my wallet, as I am more prone to grab a coffee with it
3. I always try to calculate how long I needed to work to buy something
4. Just simply not going into a store- I shop online for most necessities
5. A large part of willpower, is how you were raised. My mother is a frequent shopper, but only from thrift stores. My father was a minimalist, but only bought quality items when he did shop. I am a minimalist, but when I do shop I try to get the items used. Teaching our children about managing money and not to value objects is important; "children learn what they live"
"Frequent shopper but only from thrift stores"-- I guess I am lucky there aren't any in my town. My downfall is yard sales. I have forced myself over the years to be very careful to be very critical of what I buy, even if it is a good deal. As I sort stuff for my own sale this summer, I am reminding myself not to bring in more knickknacks than I can enjoy. I learned this from my Mom.
Dang! Now I desperately want a box of those mint cookies. 😉
DON'T DO IT. YOU WILL EAT THEM ALL.
Ok, well, I would.
It takes a LOT of my daily will power to avoid the peanut butter ones!
"I’ve read in multiple books/posts/articles that we only have so much willpower to use over the course of a day. Because of this, it’s smart to design your life so that it requires less willpower."
This seems to be true and I totally agree that setting up your life to avoid your downfalls is a good idea, but too darn many books/posts/articles miss the fact that, with practice, you can ~increase~ the level of your willpower. Just like increasing muscle strength, practice and gradually increasing challenges will increase your willpower, and remember not to set too hard a challenge at first.
FWIW, I don't think of any spending triggers. I used to have some - used book stores were a big spending black hole for me - but now? I really can't think of a situation where I spend more money than I intend to.
My downfall is spending time. Big, big downfall. :-<
"My downfall is spending time. Big, big downfall. :-<"
SO MUCH THIS, especially in the summer when there aren't a lot of tight deadlines, just the big one for school starting again when everything has to get done by.
I NEED HELP! My son will be going to Ohio State next month and we live in Los Angeles. I booked tickets on Southwest (so 3 tickets X 2 checked bags per person= 6 checked bags for my son.) He needs to bring his comforter, blanket, sheets & towels in addition to his clothes, coats, boots etc. I just found out that mailing a midsize box (think typical Amazon box), it will cost me a minimum of $45-60 per box. So I have decided just to order miscellaneous stuff from Amazon or Target. Problem is: There is a $1000 worth of stuff in my cart. How do I figure out what is necessary and what is not?
We have the same scenario. My daughter will be able to take up to 6 checked bags for free on Southwest, because my husband and I will be flying with her. However, she will be flying home on school breaks on her own (only 2 free checked bags), and we will then need to mail her stuff back and/or arrange storage for her things over the summer. So we are keeping that in mind as she packs her things. Also, where will she store all that luggage while she is there? So even though she will be ABLE to bring 6 bags, she is planning on packing as light as possible.
Like you, we are also thinking of ordering from Amazon once she gets there, to limit the need to transport the stuff. My plan is to have her wait until she is settled in her dorm room to decide what things are necessary. Then she can have them shipped directly from Amazon, still keeping in mind that we have to do something with all that stuff once summer comes! Good luck!
Honestly, aside from bare basics like a desk lamp if the dorms don't have them, I would hold off on anything until you are there.
There is almost certainly a Target near the campus, and although you might pay slightly more buying it a month from now, you'll likely purchase less. With Amazon Prime (use a 30-day trial) you can get most things to his dorm within a couple of days, for anything that you can't pick up at Target.
When my daughter went off to college, there was very little extra that she needed in her dorm room. Each kid is different though, so maybe this isn't the case for you. I think we brought a mini-fridge, storage ottoman, and a couple of plastic totes she could put under the bed. Also a few extra pillows so the bed could be used like a couch. Aside from that, it was all her personal stuff. We did subsequently purchase some art prints and decorative items because her dorm was dim and didn't get a lot of natural light.
I'm sure other people will have advice too, but that's my experience. Good luck, it's a rough time as a parent (at least it was for me).
Have you checked the price for additional checked bags? It might be worth it in comparison to buying new. I’d also look to see what thrift stores there are near the campus. You may be able to source used things less expensively. Will he have a place to store thing s over the summer? That would also have an impact on how much I was willing to invest in getting him set up. I think we tend to overestimate what freshman really need, so focus on the basics. You can always fill in the gaps as he discovers what he needs. Good luck!
Check to see if the college offers a service to rent linens, books, fridge. I’d wear the coat and boots on the plane. I’d limit him to just 2 bags he can manage himself. He should just bring a week’s worth of jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts and do laundry. Most dorms have a laundry room.
Look at the information the school sends/sent you, perhaps on its website, to make sure you know what is in his room already, (and anything forbidden, like open-heat-element cooking appliances).
Consider having things drop-shipped to the Target in that town, rather than to your home, and pick them up there.
Talk to other college parents. Check with his roommate-to-be, if he has one.
Remember that new isn't necessarily necessary. Nor must things match.
Give him some cash when he gets there and let him figure it out as he goes. It is a good bonding experience with other people in the residence hall to borrow, share, go shopping together, etc.
Vacuum seal things before packing them, like using those bags where a comforter has the air sucked out of it and is the size of a shirt box, etc.
Expect that when it comes to summer, he will need to find a storage solution, bring things home, or sell things in a quick private yard sale and start over again the next year. This is a college town that must have a few thousand kids in his situation!
Coming from a (somewhat) more recent grad, I agree with what others are saying about holding off on most everything until he actually gets there, and then shopping when he's there. Most dorm rooms are quite small, and it's good bonding experience for your son to figure a lot of that out with his roomie -- who knows what that person will be bringing as well!
Also, especially as a freshman, things like a mini-fridge is probably not necessary. You eat at on-campus dining for most meals and often there's little coffee shops and convenience stores that take your meal plan for things like snacks or sodas or whatever. Let him live in the dorm for a bit first to really figure out some of those "extras" vs getting too much initially.
My roommate and I also got a small storage unit together for our stuff over the summer after freshman year (and then I lived full-time in apartments/houses after that). I bet your kids won't be the only ones wanting to store things, so get a couple friends together to cut down on storage costs! Planning-wise remember to write out a full list of everything that's in there/what belongs to whom and keep a copy of that with you just in case haha. I still remember some heated arguments moving out after graduating about what belonged to which roommate, often with no one (out of five of us living together for three years....) claiming it!
My daughter did 3 years in England for university on 1 large duffel and was below weight for checked luggage. Space bags for bedding. Capsule wardrobe she switched out pieces she tired of when she came home. Thrift stores, there isn't anything he or his dorm needs you can't find at a thrift store and when he graduates you can either donate it back or throw it away after a long and useful life. No schlepping it all back again that way.
In LA, there is a chain called "The 99 Cents Only Store". Look for toiletries, groceries/snacks, and housewares there. You will be amazed. It is NOT the same as The Dollar Tree.
Agree with others on use of space bags for linens .Just buy the giant Ziplocks at Target. Handled ones are sturdy and make great laundry bags during the school year. You don't need a vacuum, just sit on them to smoosh the air out. Better still is thrifting locally or buying online and shipping direct.
Living alone...a person could save lots of money on eating if they only go out to eat once every 2 weeks...someplace cheap. Use a good instant for coffee like cheap large store brand from kroger or aldi. Do not eat ice cream treats or sweets out with folks..have ice cream parties at home and bake..cherry pie filling is 1.00 at dollar tree. Cookie baking parties are fun at thanksgiving and christmas. Limit food shopping trips to just what you need to get thru the week...prewashed salads...eat ASAP. Fruit eat ASAP. Refrigerated bread and cold cuts for sandwiches. Make eggs for breakfast...make chicken wings every 2 weeks with aldi chicken. I am making them for the 4th. Soups canned and home made fill in your meals.CLEAN AND ORGANIZE FREEZER AND REFRIGERATOR.
I have implemented many successful tactics like avoiding stores that encourage overspending with such things as gifts with purchase, checking to see if I already have something that will do, and sticking to a list of what I truly need.
Even with these tactics I was still being triggered sometimes, not by an outside source but from inside my own head. I took a lesson from my meditation teacher and now when I am feeling an urge to spend I pause and ask myself why am I feeling it. If I take a few deep breaths and sit with the urge for a few minutes it usually goes away and my wallet stays closed. The key is to be kind and compassionate to yourself when you do it. Don't berate yourself for be tempted as that will likely trigger even more spending.
I have found a good check is to imagine the item in my house, my wardrobe (visually hanging there with the rest of my stuff), in my cupboards, etc. All too often I was trying to buy a lifestyle like the one shown in the ads or catalogue (catalogues are the worst! So seductive.) Picturing the item needing to be washed, crammed in an overfull cupboard - would I like it as much as I do pictured in a beautiful, perfect setting? It helped me learn to distinguish between my fantasy self and my real, somewhat grittier self, lol.
Cruising all the pretty things online (estate or used, even) -- I had to stop getting emails from Replacements Ltd., avoiding their site unless I really needed a replacement or a gift, such as a little silver something for a baby's christening. But as an aside, they do have a fabulous store there in Greensboro, NC, which I got to visit once on a trip.
Bargains -- if something is a real bargain and is really a quality value, I tend to pick it up. I've finally learned to "give it a ride" in my shopping cart or put it on a wish list online, and give myself time to think it over and ask if I really need it. Usually, the answer is no. The best solution, though, is to not shop unless I have to, which is what I always try to do.
My place to shop is Amazon. It is my weakness. Everything I need, I find it there and much more. I am controlled but, I know it must not visit that place daily.
Hi. First let me say, I enjoyed your post. And your advice is also given in The Holy Bible. Remember how Joseph avoided temptation? He fled. What works for me to reduce unwanted spending actually is a method of my husband's. Do not go to the store to browse. Go to buy specifically what you need. Purchase it and leave. If for example, I need a blouse. Then I go to the ladies dept. to look. If I go just to see what they have in general, 9 times oit of ten I will find a bargain( or 2 or 3) that I come home with. Usually none of which I specifically needed.
My children are grown and I live on a very limited income. Each fortnight I draw $300 from after I have bought my groceries and I have to make that $300 last fourteen days. It is very difficult. But I do try. It is a huge bonus if I have saved some money at the end of the pay period.
College vacuum pack as much as possible. Don’t forget Amazon Prime Student. Right now they have a 6 month trial offer. Unsubscribing from em offers is a good way to stop temptation as well.
Oh this is so true!
Planning ahead helps me. I knew I was going to a wedding this month in Iceland. If I hadn't planned my outfit carefully I could see me impulsing a bunch of clothes the week before. Instead I was able to pull together what I already had and try a few things from Thredup.
Even planning ahead for the day helps. I knew if I didn't pack lunches for me and the kids to eat immediately after an appointment yesterday we would have ended up at a fast food place.
I’m not a shopper, so I’m not really tempted by Amazon or Target. We do have outlets near us, and I love the Polo Ralph Lauren store. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight in the past year, and I’ve replaced my entire wardrobe. That has been expensive. I tend to hoard coffee pods and Mrs. Meyers bath gel, as well as Bath & Body Works shower gels, but I only shop online for that stuff during the sales a few times a year. I’d rather sit at home with s good book and cup of coffee than go shopping or browse websites.
Beginning the journey to a more minimalist lifestyle has helped me avoid spending triggers lately. I still make mistakes but whoo boy, I used to just buy whatever my little heart desired right when I wanted it. I'm getting so much better at asking myself, "do we NEED this"? and most often I pass on it.
Here are some of my triggers:
1. Promotional emails. I've unsubscribed to pretty much all newsletters from companies that sell things, keeping only emails from bloggers and companies who mostly operate to share information about various topics I'm interested in. Occasionally there'll be promotions from them but they're frequently for online courses or things of that nature, so it's easier for me to assess if I have the time/energy/interest for it, rather than "omg I need that in my home now!".
2. Social media. I've also been whittling down my following lists, removing companies who just promote products rather than curating information on the topics I'm interested in.
3. YouTube. Some may put this under social media but I'm singling it out because I used to follow tons of "review" channels for things like makeup, hair and skincare products. I'd buy things because they got a high review but I ultimately would return to a small handful of products that I know work for me. I've since unfollowed all those accounts and just replace my core products when I run out.
4. Mental health. I find that I spend more when I'm feeling down. Back when I was working at a job that was making me miserable, I used retail therapy as an escape, something to fill the hole. It definitely ties in to the other triggers on this list because it made them even more *triggery*, and I wasn't capable of exercising willpower at all. Addressing my mental health issues has lead to a drastic lifestyle change that's still in progress, but progress is definitely progress. I now feel more in control of my thoughts and make fewer impulse purchases.
I'm trying "click and collect" at my local grocery store for the first time today, where I do all my grocery shopping online and then have it delivered to my car in the parking lot during a scheduled time. I'm excited because I could search for just the items that I need and I don't have to push my cart past aisles full of junk food and impulse buys. If all goes well, it'll probably be how I grocery shop from now on 🙂