Thankful Thursday | when you need to pinch yourself
I was talking to a friend yesterday, saying that sometimes, I cannot believe how good life is right now. I feel like I need to pinch myself.
I was telling another friend (who is also divorcing from a not-good marriage) that a gift we take from that experience is a vast amount of appreciation for what it is like to be free.
We know what it is like to live in a very hard situation for a very long time, so we have an unusual level of gratitude for things some people take for granted.
It's like experiencing a whole new magical world that we barely knew existed. Sometimes I wonder if it is like seeing in color when you have spent years in a monochromatic world.
This week, I am thankful:
for the way blogging made scholarship essays so easy for me
I have written thousands of posts here over the years, so writing a few essays for scholarships was a very, very small challenge.
My tell-a-story-about-my-life skills are well-honed from all these blog posts!
that I got an A on my med-surg exam
I got 46/50 correct, so that's a 92%. That's a hard class, and that particular exam material was pretty tough, so, WHEW.
I heard a rumor that future med-surg exams are slightly less difficult, so that's encouraging. We'll see!
I have two more med-surg exams, plus a final...and I just have to keep doing what I've been doing.
One week at a time. One module at a time. One test at a time.
In the words of Dory (from Finding Nemo)...just keep swimming, just keep swimming. 🙂
for how supportive you guys all are
I was just thinking about how I can share here when I get a good grade, and you guys are all just so nice about it.
No one tells me I'm bragging and no one feels threatened; you all just share my joy when things go well, and I appreciate that!
Thanks for being on my team. 🙂
for opportunities, and the freedom to take them
I was thinking about things like the winery evening the other night, my trips to the symphony, my hiking adventures, study groups with classmates, and so on.
Some years ago, I would not have been able to do all of those things, and I am so, so grateful that I have the freedom to do them now.
for kitty snuggles
Shelley laid down on my lap for a long time the other night while Zoe and I watched a movie.
And of course, Chiquita is forever and ever next to me, wherever I go in the house. 😉
Most of the time I am grateful for this, but when she lies down on my keyboard and adds things to my posts, I am less grateful. Ha.
for my little house
Going along with the pinching myself thing...some days, I think, "I get to live here? In my own little house? As long as I want to?"
And it feels almost too good to be true.
for a sweet package from reader Dicey
She sent me a whole box of medical-related books, such as medical memoirs. So kind!
Chiquita is appreciative of the box the books came in. 😉
that I can see growth in the rearview mirror
I was at a divorce support group meeting last night, and during the discussion, I shared my philosophy about riding the waves of bad memories rather than resisting, and sitting with the emotions as they come up.
And in doing that, I was reminded of how much progress I have made over the last two years, processing what I've been through.
Progress is slow in the moment, but with the benefit of time and hindsight, I really can see how far I have come.
It's not that I never feel angry anymore, or that I never feel sad, but the waves of emotion come so much less frequently, and often with less intensity.
The waters I'm sailing in now are calmer than they used to be, and I am thankful.
Hooray for calm waters after so many storms.
Thankfuls:
--For the day off today so I can go see my son run at a track meet. Track meets are kinda boring --track isn't a great spectator sport--but this particular son LOOOOVES to run, this is his first year of track, and he's so excited, I'm excited for him. Also, the meet is relatively close (only 120 miles roundtrip! whee!), so I won't be driving half the day to watch him run for five minutes.
--Not sure I would say I'm exactly thankful that I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning, but it did give me time to make the cookies I had promised to make for the track team. This means that after I get the kids off to school, do my run, and take a shower, I don't really have anything else I have to do before I leave at noon. Despite technically only working two days a week, the two days I'm supposed to be off rarely include any actual down time, so I'm really looking forward to those couple of hours.
--That my sister is driving through a small city on her way to us for Easter, and can pick up church flowers for me. This saves me a two-hundred mile trip, which is always appreciated.
--For the daffodils and crocuses blooming all in the new bulb garden we made in the old mechanic's pit in front of our house. Everyone had a lot of ideas for how to use this weird pit, but I am so happy to have the flowers in there. Spring flowers are my favorite.
--For the ability to listen to music while I cook. With so many small children for so many years, I always had kids in the kitchen with me. I can't listen to music with my children around really--I can't handle competing sounds, like kids talking and music, at the same time--but now they mostly do their own thing while I cook. And listen to music.
--For music on YouTube. Even with ads, I appreciate listening to almost anything I want for free. Especially since we don't really get any radio stations here.
Isn't it wild to be able to pull up almost any music we want? Those of us who lived in the days of radio, records, cassette tapes, and CDs can really appreciate this!
@kristin @ going country, yes on competing sounds. I never thought this through to come up with that term, but it bugs me to pieces when someone talks over the radio or turns on a teevee when music is playing!
Now I will check your blog to see if you have photos of your spring flowers!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, agreed on the irritation of competing sounds. Silence really is golden! It's good to know that I'm not alone in this.
@kristin @ going country,
For a long time, I couldn't listen to music much. In my home or in the car, it was just too much noise. (I blame Covid or chemo or both! ) As the chaos has ebbed in my home, I finally have the mind space to listen. And I realized I was having trouble grading without some music in the background, putting on a soft playlist helps me settle down to work. And I use the same playlist over and over - another benefit of the modern era!
@kristin @ going country,
Another yay from me for YouTube! I sometimes listen to music at work, using headphones, and I can pick whatever type of music suits my mood. I have a friend from high school who posts a classic rock song every night on his Facebook page, which he refers to as his radio station. He often includes tidbits about the various bands and singers whose songs he plays. Several friends and I banter with him back and forth, and it's a lot of silly fun. This would be difficult to do without YouTube.
@Kristen, See my post below about Jon Batiste's song FREEDOM -- you should definitely pull that one up.
I will check it out!
@Kristen, When I was a kid, I remember wishing that you could just say the name of a song and it would automatically play! Now with a smart speaker, I do. What magic!
NOT THANKFUL/BUTS:
Not thankful for waking up at 4 this morning, but I am thankful that Kristen posted because reading the good things in her life is calming and hopeful and just happy.
Not thankful that I stubbed my foot in the dark when getting up but thankful that it barely hurts because of the stupid neuropathy that keeps it numb.
Not thankful that I don't know what is causing the neuropathy, but thankful that I now know there's nothing wrong in my back (Xrays to check another possible source of neuropathy confirmed good back)
Not thankful that I had a very weak financial year but thankful that for once in my life I am not writing a check to the IRS.
Not thankful that I can barely walk a mile any more but thankful that I have a working bicycle for exercise (yikes, these hills where I live. . . I'm SO out of shape!)
BETTER THANKFULS:
The vacation rental manager for whom I do occasional gardening raised my hourly rate without me asking.
The author for whom I edit and proofread raised my hourly rate without me asking.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
Way to find the good! I hope you get your neuropathy figured out!! <3
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Glad you got 2 raises without asking!
And I like your not thankful/but format. On my bad days, I think I will make lists like that. Perhaps it will change me into more of an optimist. Thanks!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Wishing you well with overcoming the neuropathy. My husband has it in a small section on the bottom of one foot. Is yours the whole foot?
You must be a hard worker for TWO employers to give you raises without prompting!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
Yay for not one but TWO raises freely offered to you!
Hoping the cause of your neuropathy is found....and as someone with back problems, I'm glad yours is sound.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, So happy for your better thankfuls. It is nice when you are appreciated. And you are.
@Everyone here, so thankful for your kind words!
@Fru-Gal Lisa, learning to be an optimist has taken about a quarter of a century, a process worth pursuing.
@Erika JS, both feet, mostly toes and the ball of the foot, one foot worse than the other (WHAT?? I take the same number of steps with each!)
@Liz B, so sorry to hear you have back trouble. That is pure misery (speaking as one who has observed a close friend endure 5 back surgeries in 4 years).
I have been reading your blog for ages. Now that I am newly retired, I find myself hanging on every single money saving word.....I just want you to know that I see happiness in your face again. You look great!!!! Keep it up.....
Congrats on your most recent high score on your exam. It shows the care and hard work you are putting into your studies, and you are going to be an excellent nurse because you are an excellent student with a caring heart. So glad you have come to a good place in your life story.
I am thankful for the glimpses of beauty I see this spring: the fields that look like they've been washed in blue -- our Texas bluebonnets are in full bloom, and because they are lupines, with a pod of fertilizer on their roots, they grow best in poor soil. Therefore, the most neglected areas next to roadways and the vacant lots in the city are awash with color. I also looked out my kitchen window to see stems of white blooms come through the old wooden fence -- stalks from my next-door neighbor's flowering shrub have poked through the spaces, causing a beautiful scene. To paraphrase the Bible, I have rose bushes where I didn't plant them.
I am thankful for all the different work dates I have as a substitute teacher, and the other day, when some were canceled, I was able to fill them up with other gigs right away. I have only 2 or 3 days that need filling. I'm getting work for every day in April and some in early May.
I'm thankful for the sweet little face poking around the doorway looking at me -- my elderly dog, who has a cancer tumor, is still alive and keeping me company.
I'm thankful for the morning rain, and hope it helps all the trees and plants.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
I LOVE Bluebonnets. Are the paintbrushes out, too?
Here in Savannah we have azaleas and dogwoods everywhere you look.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
Where in TX are you? We're traveling to Wimberly soon and are hoping to see bunches of bluebonnets!!
@Kathy M, Some Indian paintbrushes, some golden rod, but mostly bluebonnets right now. Still waiting for some Indian blanket/Galladeria to join nature's merry canvas.
@Gretchen, I'm father north, between DFW and Austin.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
Thanks! We live north of Dallas.
@Gretchen, if you travel down Mopac you will see whole hillsides full of bluebonnets!
@Fru-gal Lisa,
Oooo, I love Indian Blanket!!
@Fru-gal Lisa, I have plans to visit Texas at the end of April, based on my friend there telling me the bluebonnets will be in bloom then. I think she missed her estimate by a month. I'm trying to not pout. . .
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
End of March is usually peak time for bluebonnets and other Texas wildflowers.
(1) Kristen, I'm thankful as usual for the chance to do this exercise--and especially for your thoughtful comments today, since it struck me that there are some similarities between divorce after a not-good marriage and widowhood after a long and grueling period of caregiving.
As you say, "We know what it is like to live in a very hard situation for a very long time, so we have an unusual level of gratitude for things some people take for granted." Don't get me wrong; I'd give anything in the world to have DH back with me as he was circa 2010, the year before we both started noticing his cognitive slippage. But as I can't have that, I'm grateful both that he is free, and that I am. Now that I've almost gotten through my first winter of actual widowhood, I just noticed earlier this week that I really am starting to enjoy life again. And I hope to be enjoying it even more as spring comes on.
(2) I'm thankful that the local medical school to which I donated DH's body is having its annual memorial service to honor anatomical donors and their loved ones in April. I plan to attend, along with the Bestest Neighbors (Dr. BN used to teach at the medical school). And I may wear DH's "I Am a Force for Science" t-shirt, which he was still wearing even during his last weeks in the nursing home.
(3) I'm thankful that JASNA BFF will be coming up from Manhattan for the solar eclipse on April 8. My Central NY city isn't smack in the middle of the path of totality, but it's pretty close. And even though I've warned JASNA BFF that the day may be cloudy, I think we'll have a good time anyway.
(4) And I'm deeply thankful that my astrophysicist brother has survived three bouts of cancer to celebrate his 70th birthday on April 8 with the eclipse! Some friends from his days at a European observatory are joining him and his wife to view the event from a small town in Texas that's in the totality path.
@A. Marie, I'm so glad the medical school is having a memorial service. What a wonderful way to honor anatomical donors.
@A. Marie,
I always love to read your posts. I'm curious. I've always wondered what JASNA stands for. Do you mind sharing?
Happy Spring to you!
@A. Marie, So happy that you are starting to enjoy life again!
@A. Marie,
Your comments always make me smile, but especially today. I know you miss your DH, but I'm so glad to see you are beginning to enjoy life again. And what a lovely thing they are doing, having the memorial service for anatomical donors.
If I may ask for some advice: another high school friend just lost his wife about two weeks ago (she had battled breast cancer for many, many years, enduring multiple chemotherapies, surgeries, and other procedures through the years). He was her main caregiver; he lives far away from me, but we have communicated and via Messenger on and off. I was a caregiver for my mother in law during her last year of life, so we have commiserated about that in the past. I want to reach out and offer words of encouragement, even to say "it's okay to feel relieved" (which my hubby and I did after his mom passed). Good idea? Bad idea? Offer encouragement but not "if you feel this way, it's okay to feel relieved"? It's still so soon, and there's obviously grief, sadness, and getting through all the things one must get through after a loved one passes away. Thanks in advance.
@Liz B., I think what I'd say--and what I have said to JASNA BFF and others who have lost loved ones after long declines--is "There is no right or wrong way to grieve or mourn. Your feelings are your feelings. However you feel is OK, even if it's not what other people think you should be feeling." And Kristen would probably add, "Ride the waves of your emotions."
@A. Marie,
Yes, THANK YOU! That says exactly what I want to say. Perfect.
w00t on the grades!
I was introduced to a phrase new to me this morning: trauma parenting. I feel like I'm mostly over my divorce, but I'll never be over the trauma parenting that occurred simultaneously. There's still a lot of shame there. When people were talking about reading the Bible, I wanted to type an amusing anecdote like "when my son was in jail, he asked me to bring him some books because he was tired of reading the Bible," which was all there was, and he "knows how it ends." But I erased it because of shame.
So let's find some things to feel good about:
1. Happiness is a warm puppy. Charles Schultz was right.
2. The cottage looks really nice. I did a very good job there.
3. I need to stop beating myself up for my failures. I mostly try my best.
4. It's light out much later and it will soon be warm out.
5. My main house still looks awful but it's slowly improving.
@Rose, But it's not improving today as my handyman is being shaken down by the mafia (really) and the org lady's daughter is sick again.
We can all be thankful that we are not currently being shaken down by the mafia!
@Rose, I really think someday you should write your memoirs. Just having a handyman being shaken down by the mafia would make quite a chapter! I'd read it!
@Rose,
Whoa! I feel for your handyman!
@JD, He says he feels like he's in a Sopranos episode.
Meanwhile, org lady brought her sick child to the cottage to do a few things for me, and just had a bad spill. Yeesh. I assured her I am Kween Klutz. If there's a day where I don't stub my toe, cut myself making dinner, trip, etc it's a blue ribbon day. I assured her I'd pay her for the day and sent her home.
@Rose, it is so difficult when our children chose the wrong path, despite our years of guidance and love.
@Anne, In his case it was more like a stupid decision: driving drunk when he was 19 on New Year's Eve. No one was hurt and nothing was damaged except the car, but he still got sent to jail for five weeks. But thanks, none of this was what I would have chosen. It was awful and his father had recently left.
@Rose, Well, I for one would have found your comments about your son and the Bible to be hysterically funny. But then horrible humor is how I tend to handle things...I am sorry about the burden of shame you felt. Shame is an especially powerful emotion, a hard one to carry.
@Lindsey, It's hard to admit for people who don't know how incredible my son is. He's sooooo smart, so funny, handsome and he recently found Jesus, was baptized, and acolytes at the church. He's reading in the Passion Play during Palm Sunday (I was raised Episcopalian and that's what he chose to join). He drags me along to services now and then, too.
@Rose, what a horrible thing to happen! The only small, very small, silver lining is that there was not a worse outcome, that he was not hurt and nor was anyone else, but on top of everything else, it must have just felt like literally the last straw!
Onwards and upwards from here, for you and also for him.
@Caro, When they put the cuffs on him, he was shaking so hard the judge asked our lawyer if the boy was on drugs. "I think he's just scared, Your Honor," the lawyer said. I was crying so hard court officers were comforting me. The judge looked at me and said, "The time for tears is long gone."
@Rose,
Wow, just WOW.....you and your kids have been through so much, and come out the other side - not unscathed, but able to move forward. I admire that. And I admit to having a chuckle at your handyman expense....I know it's not funny, especially to him, but I'm picturing various Sopranos scenes in my mind.
@Rose, that judge sounds like a creep.
@Rose, I would have laughed aloud at the Bible in jail anecdote. A guy I grew up with (at the same church!) did time regularly and told me about there being Bibles everywhere.
Your son sounds like a fabulous person.
Memoir is my favorite genre, and it would be a treat to read yours.
Kristen, long time reader, first time commenter 🙂 I have been divorced for 4 years and the feelings you described here haven’t waned for me. I wake up every day with deep and profound gratitude for where I am today and all that I have overcome. Divorce has made me so appreciative of the small things and I revel in the peace I have found and created. I hope as you continue your journey, that those feelings only strengthen, as they have for me.
@Kelsey, I'm so glad you have found peace and gratitude on your journey.
@Kelsey, that’s so nice. I was wondering if when a person divorced you still have a relationship with the in-laws? I was widowed 25 year ago and with distance through the years don’t have relationships with my nieces or nephews. I always liked my sister-in-law but we rarely talk any more. I need to give her a call; we’re both mid to late 70s now.
I think this depends a lot on the situation! I personally do, but there are so many factors that go into it, I can imagine that few situations mimic each other exactly.
@Nan, You should.
In my case there's too many hurt feelings on my side. I told SIL I'd never speak to her again and I haven't. This is after my always being so nice to her--I bought her the prom dress she wanted in high school! I paid for daughter to go to camp with my daughter, etc etc. Then when I found out my ex was cheating on me, I also discovered she was FB with the mistress. She manages to combine being a social justice warrior with being utter amoral in her own life. Cut her off, told everyone why, and that was that.
FB friends. I wonder if she's still acting like a manic pixie dream girl in her 50s.
@Rose,
ah, the opportunistic type of social justice warrior! These people are very common - in both senses of the word - where what is comfy and convenient for them is the way to go. If it feels a bit awkward or icky, then best to make nice and be super-sweet and pretend it's all good.
Bleurgh.
@Rose, Sounds like you are lucky to be rid of her. Can't imagine how hurt you must have felt! I also have cut ties with horrible kinfolk, including some who stole items from me right after my parents died, making my grief even more horrible.
Yeah, the druggie boyfriend of my cousin helped himself to some family heirlooms like the photo of my great-great grandfather who fought in the Civil War (wearing his First New-York Regiment uniform*) and the stand my dad used when he was a shoeshine boy. Then Mom's caregivers walked off with many of the things of value in the house. You guys know I love my stuff.
*I sometimes wonder if he took part in the New York Draft Riots. Knowing my family, probably. They did live in the Five Points, where Gangs of New York was set.
@Rose, my stepmother threw out my high school and college yearbooks while my dad was still alive. She also threw out sweaters my maternal grandmother made me when I was little. Had been saving the sweaters for my future children. When my dad passed I got nothing. It all went to charity. Including jewelry in their vault that my mom had left to me. Very painful but Karma has been good to me.
It sounds like your grief canoe has finally reached a peaceful cove, and I am very happy to read that. You will have more space in your mind and heart to be the best nurse you can be! My own canoe is still looking for its safe harbor, but I feel like I'm getting very close...
This week I am thankful for those silver lining things:
*I am able to get my house repaired and repainted. Yes, it will be expensive, but it must be done and since I am still working full-time, I can pay for it without going into debt.
*I am strong enough to do my own yardwork (removing a dead shrub/tree) and Son #2 helped me yesterday so it didn't take as long.
* My mother's executor is going to allow us into her house on Tuesday to remove items that we want. This is huge because he was talking about donating all of it, or making us do some silly "lottery" system instead of having us just agree amicably on who gets what. We are another step closer to resolving her estate.
*Today we are going to get rain so I am scheduling in some me time to do my nails and read a book! Sometimes we need days like that. (:
@Gina from The Cannary Family, what an accurate description about the "grief canoe"reaching a peaceful cove. I may adopt this. Thanks!
The calm pictures today really reflect your hard-won calm, Kristen. Wonderful.
My thanksgivings:
1. First and foremost, I am thankful for the life of my brother-in-law, who died on St. Patrick's Day. He was the b-i-l with Parkinson's, but his sudden passing was a surprise to everyone. He was married to my sister for over 52 years. My sister loved him dearly, his children and grandchildren looked up to him, he was an active elder in his church, a mentor to troubled youth, and a good neighbor to anyone who needed help.
2. I'm thankful for the birthday today of my oldest nephew (a son of this b-i-l) who made me an aunt for the first time, when I was a teen.
3. I'm thankful that our temperature dip down into the thirties one night this week didn't give frost damage to any buds, flowers or new fruits coming on in my yard.
4. I'm thankful for the recommendation to read "Confronting the Classics" and "Emperor of Rome" by Mary Beard. They aren't for everyone, but I enjoyed them. I'm thankful that the library had them.
5. I'm thankful for the sight of a hummingbird feeding at my honeysuckle, which is blooming profusely. I planted it for the hummers and butterflies, so it's nice to see them take advantage of it. Since I'm gone most days during the day, I don't get to see them feed all that often.
@JD, Your BIL sounds wonderful and well loved and respected.
@JD, may your wonderful BIL rest in "the peace of God that passeth all understanding." And I wish sleep, calm, and everything else she will need to your sister. (I always hold you and your DH in my heart as well.)
@A. Marie,
Thank you so much! She is holding up pretty well, but she knows there is much more yet to get past. And thanks for thinking of me and my DH. It just doesn't get any easier there, unfortunately, but we are doing our best.
@Rose,
Thank you, he worked hard to do the right things because he cared.
@JD, Prayers for your family.
@JD, What a lovely testimonial to your dear BIL. My DH and I were just saying this morning, Why is it that the really good ones always leave us way too early? He sounds like one of those. I’m sorry for your loss.
@JD,
So sorry to read of your BIL's passing. It sounds like he was a partner, dad, family member, and neighbor we all assure to be. Best wishes to you and your sister.
We're all team Kristen and enjoy celebrating your successes with you!
Thankfuls:
- For baby snuggles with our new grandson.
- That DD is recovering well from her C-section and her blood pressure is back to a normal level.
- That both our grown kids live so close to us. I enjoy being able to see them often and helping them when they need me.
- For spring weather and all the beautiful blooming plants, even though the high pollen count is kicking my allergies into overdrive.
- That PT is helping strengthen my ankle and reduce the pain.
Congratulations on the A - well done!!!
I am struggling this week with a lot of fear and decided to practice Kristen’s method of looking away from the bad thoughts and focusing on what’s good. Here goes…
1. I am 2.5 years cancer free after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I’m grateful and lucky to be alive.
2. I live within 45 minutes of multiple world-class hospitals filled with people who can help me with my newest health issues.
3. I am grateful for the time I can spend with my dad, who has dementia, and just be happy meeting him where he is instead of mourning what was. He may not know who I am, but I know who he is.
4. I’m forever grateful for my sister who has been able to shoulder more of the burden dealing with a dementia patient while I’m dealing with these blasted health issue.
5. I’m so grateful for my rabbit, Georgette! She came into my life right before the pandemic and has kept me sane through the past several years. She is a 3.5 lb bundle of love and comfort, softness and sass.
Kristen, it is so wonderful to “hear” the happiness in your writing. You have worked hard to find your way and are an example to us all.
I'm so pleased that you are finding yourself in a better space now. 🙂
I'm thankful that last Friday my daughter had a half day of school, which allowed us the time needed to go to the nature center/hiking trails of one of her potential options for university. It was good to spend time together, and we were able to see what the school had to offer for her interests in ecology/conservation on a relaxed basis (without the pressure of an official tour). As a bonus, it was a beautiful day and we saw lots of wildlife and heard a chorus of spring peepers.
Grateful my husband's work trip went well and he traveled safely.
For my kittens, who are endlessly funny and sweet.
Several of our neighbors are moving and while it makes me sad, I am thankful they have been in our lives for 25 years.
Thankful for the mild winter we are having.
That a store let us return a washer dryer set that was ordered incorrectly. I have learned way too much about washers in the last 2 weeks & company return policies.
For a semi quiet week at work.
That my work hours allow me to drive to and from work at off high traffic times.
For several new unique stores that have opened up in our community.
PS I am happy you are free! (I hear Free Bird lyrics).
@Mar,
Fun facts: My DH's former boss in Jacksonville bought an old Lynyrd Skynyrd tour bus, but some (insert spicy language here) vandal kids later set fire to it and burned it to the ground.
Also, one of my husband's former employees here on the west side of the state was married to one of the Van Zant's first cousins. She grew up in Jax listening to them play garage bands and thought they'd never make it in music, ha.
More fun facts! I frequently yell "Free Bird" at concerts although I only go to good concerts, not awful AOR.
A good friend of mine is Gregg Allman's daughter. I guess southern-rock adjacent.
@JD, Ha and yet they did! 🙂 Great story.
@Rose, @JD, and @Mar,
When I was in high school, one of my bff's brothers was in a garage band. They were playing a concert, maybe it was in the HS auditorium (I forget), and my bff had a handheld cassette tape recorder to tape their show. We were in the audience. She told me to yell "Free Bird!!" when her brother asked the crowd "what song do ya want to hear?". So I did....and it's pretty much all you can hear on the tape as they bust out the first part of the song. Ha. I was mortified at the time - now I just think it's funny.:-)
Congrats on that amazing grade! I hope the next ones are lighter - my youngest has a class like that this semester and is hoping the same [everyone crying on the first exam but tales from previous students that the rest are better!]
I am so glad you can see your progress for yourself - as someone else said - it literally shows on your face - and in the choices you're making - like taking advantage of the symphony! I'm so happy for you.
I really relate to that description as well - freedom is exactly what I feel now.
This week I'm so grateful for:
1. Choosing to USE a few extra timeshare points rather than renting them [money yes, but not much and not enough to pay for a hotel anywhere else LOL] and getting to enjoy a much needed brief respite from real life! And weather that allowed fully indulging in what was available. I wouldn't have made this choice a couple of years ago - so I see freedom here too.
2. The chance to see a far away friend who has a long layover at JFK this weekend - I'll swoop in and take her out for a meal and return her for the next leg of her trip!
3. The arrival of some dahlia bulbs I'd ordered last fall [before my no buy year begain] and had forgotten about. It's nearly planting time!
4. My jobs. I would love to not have to work anymore and look forward to retiring when I can, but my two part time gigs are flexible, the people I work with are mostly pleasant, and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to keep earning money during this challenging phase of parenting young adults who are in the first stages of launching new careers - I can smooth out the big bumps [like making sure they have health insurance] while they learn the lessons that come with the rest of the bumps [so important! just finished a talk with my middle kid about his cashflow woes and budgeting for an irregular income 🙂 we'll be working on that this weekend]. I'm truly grateful that these jobs allow me to provide the skeleton framework that allows these young humans who've survived more than enough uncertainty in their lives already to move forward without feeling they're skirting a chasm.
5. That my son offered to pick us up from the airport today without any prompting - which was so nice considering he'll be finishing an 11 hour workday himself! Uber has taken enough of my money the last few days!
Wishing everyone a beautiful week
@cherie, I believe Dave Ramsey has some helpful information about budgeting when you have an irregular income. His books should be available at any library.
Love all of this, Kristen! I have been reading for many years, and I think others would agree that the "tone" of your posts the past few months has definitely seemed happier and "lighter". We're all SO happy for you! And, you brag ALLL you want, girl! Those grades are hard-earned and well-deserved. I have an English degree, and I CANNOT imagine all the math and science you have handled with ease. Congratulations all around--it is a JOY to celebrate with you!
My "thankfuls" for this week:
1. Our youngest son has been job searching for many months. In January, he interviewed for a position that he loved and was told he was one of the top of the two candidates. Just before they were ready to make a final offer, the company unexpectedly froze hiring. (Of course, we didn't know this at the time. We thought it was another rejection, and it was very discouraging.) Last week, they contacted our son to say the hiring freeze had been lifted, and they wanted him to interview again. When the interview began, they told him it was simply a formality and offered him the job! He is so excited, and we are grateful for God's provision.
2. Same son spoke to his sweet girlfriend's dad last week and asked for her hand in marriage. He was granted permission, and they will be married in October.
3. Also, last week, our youngest daughter's boyfriend met with my husband and asked for her hand in marriage! They will be engaged soon and married soon after our son. That will be 4/4 married children--all to spouses we love and adore--and now grandchildren may finally be in the picture! We've been waiting!
4. My husband has been languishing in a very difficult and stressful job for several years. Last week, he was offered his dream job and, while it won't be without its stressors (lower pay and crappy benefits), the positive effects on his sanity and happiness will be more than worth it!
5. Next week, my husband and I head to Brazil for 10 days to visit dear friends who have been missionaries there for nearly 25 years. It's definitely a "bucket list" trip for us, and we are so excited!
God has been good to our family this week, and we are THANKFUL!
@Julia,
So many big thankful for you this week! Awesome! That trip sounds amazing.
@Liz B.,
Big *thankfuls* (sheesh, Liz....)
EEK! I saw the word "rubric" above and freaked out! That word belongs deep in academia where no one can find it! Congratulations on the exam grade, and I'm so happy you're finding the freedom and relief you deserve. The process is something like rebuilding yourself as a woman, from one place to another, and eventually we get to a place where we can take a break (with a cat on our lap) and breathe.
@Jean, "Rubric" to me means directions in a prayer book. Like "kneel." Hundreds of years ago they were printed in red, from whence comes the Latin name.
@Rose,
Girl, what DON'T you know? So impressive, you are!
@Liz B., My brain retains information. I made raclette tonight for dinner, with boiled potatoes, pickled onions and cornichons, and I couldn't remember what "cornichon" meant except I had a vague idea about horns, and thank goodness I was right. That said, I'm not sure what rubric means in a teaching context. How to grade a test? But that makes sense since it's a directive.
IDK how I know rubric. I tend to think Sunday school a zillion years ago or confirmation classes. By the way, I was extremely hurt when our minister asked who founded the church and I waved my hand and said Henry VIII and the priest said, "That's the answer I don't want to hear!" Then why is there a stained glass window of Thomas Cranmer? Sheesh. I didn't say that because I was so used to being praised for being smart, not slapped down.
@Liz B., I KNOW! Rose knows ABOUT everything. EVERYTHING. Maybe she could start a blog called Rose Knows. Or Rose Knose. Or Rows Knows. @Rose, are you listening? You'd have a built in following from the git-go!
It is difficult to see the progress made through the days, months, years - happy you are seeing how you've grown & changed.
Thankful:
Finally got an appointment with an Elder Care lawyer.
For wonderful PCP who knows husband & understands some of my struggles
Extension on our AR rental as shouse won't be done.
Two grandsons will be baptized Saturday!
For long time friends.
I needed Thankful Thursday this week! This past week has been...crisis filled.
I'm thankful for the way our family has rallied together during this crisis. And for revelations that I can only describe as Holy Spirit-led that have helped us navigate it.
Thankful we get to stay in our current rental "as long as we want to" according to our landlord. We had been looking at other houses because we weren't sure about the status of this one, and they are all WAY more expensive. Nicer, yes, fancier, but the frugal part of me was cringing at the idea of paying more rent and higher heating/cooling costs. But now we know we get to stay in our cozy little hobbit hole! I knew it was God's plan when I felt immensely relieved upon hearing that.
Thankful for a good husband and a strong marriage; it's work, but it has gotten us through this last week. Also thankful for adaptable kids; change is hard and sometimes scary but they're facing up to it.
Thankful for God's grace.
Yay to a life with more color, freedom, calm waters and other good things! I'm so happy for you, Kristen. I'm also thankful to be a small part of your team.
This week, I'm especially thankful for:
* Our new neighbors and community. People are so friendly, considerate and welcoming. We've already been to dinner at two different homes. I hope to be a Bestest Neighbor (TM) ala A. Marie.
* Rich and generous philanthropists like MacKenzie Scott who goes about her business quietly and strategically as part of her pledge to give out a majority of her wealth over her lifetime.
* The snow we are expected to receive. We have hardly had any snow this year and we are in a drought with thirsty vegetation and fire warnings during a time when there should be ample snow on the ground for several months.
Yay, Kristen, for excellent grades and the peace that comes with healing!
I am thankful for starting physical therapy for my hands -- just a few new things have the arthritis pain more manageable. Also for our new rescued pup reaching "calm down and listen" mode, and for the beginning of a lovely spring.
Yay for PT!! I'm so glad it's helping you.
We were learning about arthritis recently and how important it is to help people keep on moving.
I am happy for your new life but sad that the old Kristen had to suffer so much to get to where you are now. You have bought a great treasure with a great price. I wish for you unlimited happiness now and in the future, enjoying your treasure.
You are utterly amazing, Kristen!
Aww, thank you Gail. 🙂
I'm so happy for you, that you are enjoying this phase of life! As someone who was previously in a bad relationship in my early 20s, it does really, really give you a perspective.
So many things to be grateful this week:
1) DH & I both get our annual bonus tomorrow, and they are slightly bigger than expected. More money into the college funds@
2) DS17 started working on college scholarships in earnest, with minimal amounts of nagging from me! This is amazing.
3) My dad, for helping with edits of all manner of school essays for his 4 grandsons (former high school English teacher), including college application essays, class projects, and now scholarship essays. He's the best.
4) DH, for randomly cutting a rose from our garden yesterday, and bringing it to me. So gorgeous & better than anything from the florist.
5) I've received SO many lovely messages from people I've worked with, sharing how much they enjoyed working together, the impact on their career, etc. I've hired & mentored a lot of people over my time, so it's been really fun to hear from people.
@Hawaii Planner, My son always got me to edit his college papers. He sure got mad the time I inserted the sentence that "Odysseus learned that the real treasure was the friends he made along the way."
I DID tell him before he handed it in. I'm not that much of a jerk mom.
@Rose, That is one of my oldest son's favorite jokes!
You'll doing great Kristen! Congrats on doing well on your test and for calmer waters!
Kristen, I'm sorry you had to go through such a hard time to begin with!
I am thankful for the weather getting warmer and the free sodas being given out at the station earlier.
I am too.
I will never know what I would be like without having gone through all that; who knows? But sometimes I wonder if those hard times have shaped me in ways that will help me to make a difference for others in the future.
@Kristen, definitely. I always try and look back at hard times for ways they have given me resilience. I'm not necessarily grateful for them but I think of what I have learnt from the experience, and how it can help me now.
Kristen, I am so glad you are having happiness and peace in your current stage of life. It took many years for me to reach that point after my divorce. If you should find yourself in a "normal" happy marriage in future, you will be even more amazed at life's goodness. And you will be just fine if you continue as you are. I love a happy ending.
I definitely will be! My divorcing friend and I were discussing that; how when you have been in an unhealthy relationship for a long time, even a small good thing in a relationship will feel like a miracle to us.
In "You Could Make This Place Beautiful", the author talks about envisioning a future where she has a man who smiles at her when he sees her, and I burst into tears when I read that because I had literally said that same thing before. It is such a small thing, but when you have lived without that, it feels like an impossibly magical experience.
@Kristen, my favorite part is when bad things that are no one's fault happen and my husband doesn't blame me. After 15 yrs, that still takes me by surprise .
Nodding over here because yes, you are getting exactly what I mean! You have an appreciation for this that not everyone would...some people would take that for granted.
@Kristen, Years ago someone told me that when I see my husband, it is like the sun comes out on my face. I pray that the smiling man you will meet some day does the same for you.
I love to hear of the love you and your husband share, and I hope that one day, I will be lucky enough to have something like what you guys do. 🙂
Thankful that you are feeling freedom and what you deserve for yourself. Congratulations on that test score too; you are going to make a wonderful nurse.
This week I am thankful for another trip around the sun. I am so thankful that I am not feeling as old as the 63 years that the calendar says. I know I am lucky and blessed to have my health. Love getting out there and bike riding and the season is coming up.
Thankful that we had another successful St. Patrick's Day party and that everyone that traveled here made it safely back to their homes. We love having a family get together, but it is a ton of work. Luckily only once a year!
Thankful that I packed up the leftover food and we will be eating out of the freezer for quite a while. And super thankful that there are a ton of pierogis left (from our Polish friend!) LOL
@Maureen,
Happy Birthday!
@Maureen,
Happy birthday! And yummmmm, pierogies!!
Hi Kristen, I have not commented in a while, but I was happy this post came up on my wall on Facebook. I had chills when I read this sentence:
"...a gift we take from that experience is a vast amount of appreciation for what it is like to be free."
I am so proud of you. Continue to ride that wave. You have so much more to accomplish.
EMDR to help calm the intrusive negative memories that used to plague me nonstop.
Team Kristen!!! All the way!!!!
I've not heard of divorce support group, but what a great resource. 🙂 And learning to sit with your feelings is a real improvement that many struggle with, including myself sometimes.
Thankful for the sunshine (when it is available) especially during this cold weather (again) before the next spring snowstorm. 🙁
Thankful that I am able to get teen into specialist & scheduled surgery quickly, not time I was hoping for but still reasonably fast. And getting up front information of what to expect. Teen is not nervous at all.
Thankful that I am able to reschedule other appointments & events during that timeline & hopefully will not be too stressful for teen.
Thankful that I am finally getting this taken care of!!! Moving forward teen should be healthier. 🙂
Thankful for moving forward one step at a time. 🙂
Have a great day everyone! 🙂
@Regina, there is a large organization called Divorce Care which has helped several of my friends. I don't know what group Kristen is part of but would guess there are many out there.
I'm thankful for being alive. After a 21 months breast cancer journey I was grateful but I'm even more grateful now. I was hit by a pickup truck a couple of weeks ago (I was walking).
I have somewhat severe injuries to one of my knees. I am alive! The truck stopped just in time to avoid running me over. Very scary.
It's been glorious the past few days sunshine and low 70°s. I'm fortunate to live in a beautiful city (Savannah GA)
I'm grateful for family and friends. I could go on and on but for now, I'll stop and enjoy snuggling with Lucy, the cat.
Thanks to all of you for inspiration and being such a a caring group. I feel like I personally know so many of you.
@Kathy M, hit by a truck?? Holy cow! Glad you're still here to tell the tale, though I'm sorry about the knee injuries.
@Kathy M, getting hit by a truck after having breast cancer is truly unfair. Wishing only good things for you from now on!
OMG. Please give your poor body plenty of rest to heal.
@Kathy M,
Good heavens, what a terrible thing to happen! Obviously, you are survivor!
Oh my goodness! I am so glad that you are (relatively) ok.
@Kathy M,
Yikes! I'm glad that truck didn't run you over! That sounds so scary. I hope your knee injuries heal quickly. (And Savannah is one of my all time favorite cities....have been there twice, and once to Tybee Island, all on vacations).
I'm so happy for you that you are feeling so thankful and that life has improved so much for you.
I'm thankful for a nice warm home, as I live in Canada and it's currently quite cold and snowy. Not quite spring yet.
My copay card for my arthritis medication has reached its limit, but my doctor was able to find me more support for the rest of the year. God so blesses us and answers prayers.
Hi Kristen , I have never commented before (I think!) but you are miles ahead of the game and you will make a fabulous RN one day. Some patient will be so blessed to have you on their side !!! Much well wishes from an NP in New York - Elaine
Kristen - way to go! You've got this by bounds. Attitude is everything. Calm, boring waters are the best!
Rose - I would read your book!!!
Tackled some tough, new to me things this week and I now have some new skills!
Fixing up this farm after almost a decade of neglect is not for the faint hearted. I am never bored! I love my to do lists and checking off the boxes at the end of the day, so powerful.
Thankful for Spring!
@Blue Gate Farmgirl, Can I tell you what an inspiration you are to me?! I sometimes can’t work up the energy to do ordinary chores around the house, let alone revive a neglected farm. I use your posts as prodding for how much can be accomplished with willpower.
Congratulations, Kristen! You are reaping well earned rewards!
I wish I could read all the comments all the time, but I share in celebrating your new freedom, and your appreciation of it. It's like stretching wings that you didn't know you had. My own stretching was not as dramatic as yours, but it lifted me into a life so much better than my former life, I can hardly describe it. Enjoy it, and be picky about who is allowed to influence your new place.
Thankfuls:
*For Brahms' German Requiem, a gorgeous composition my community/college choir is working on, music of comfort and assurance. I am holding my father-in-law close to my heart, a beautiful man who died "in the Lord," as Brahms said, just a week ago. For our conductor and his skilled teaching and patience. All of us older participants are remembering loved ones, and the college students are awed by the music.
*For the stray cat who has adopted us and is showing an affectionate, polite, and loving nature, and who purrs like a champ in our laps.
*For our kind and observant neighbor, who supervised the 13-year-old who fed our cat while we visited the distant nursing home, and who left us dinner in the fridge for our return from a difficult, expensive, stressful long distance trip.
*For the cheerful contractor who repaired our stair rail quickly and well. I need it more every year, but don't want to leave our little old house.
*For my loving and patient husband, who never complains about my erratic housekeeping.
@Kristina,
Condolences on the loss of your father in law. I hope your kittie's snuggles offer some comfort.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us! And congrats on the test(s) -- not just nursing but all these others that you are "passing". Way to go with processing the emotions. It's hard, but you (and your kids) will be so much better -- and freeer! -- at the end.
Aww, thank you friend.
So happy for you! You are very encouraging and you are right, be thankful because things could be so much worse.
Is that a raspberrry field in the background? What lovely views.
Thanks for sharing.
The picture of the field at sunset is actually at a winery, where I had a scholarship event this week. I bet it is so beautiful there during the summer months.
I am thankful that my daughter is getting better. (Babies first fever and cough this week.)
I am so very thankful for the friends who offered to help watch her during the week so my husband and I could work.
I am thankful for my husbands surprise raise.
I am thankful to be able to take some time off work to hold our sick baby. (Baby snuggles are a blessing I wasn't sure I would get to enjoy.)
I am thankful that my husband and I finally have been healthy for a week.
When I read the title about seeing growth in the rearview mirror, my initial thought was that you were growing your hair?
That's what you get when you are tired and reading a foreign language I guess!
I am thankfull for a productive week, when I got to learn some new things and finished a few actions that had been on my list for too long,
Thankful for cool but sunny days
Thankful for a day of choir singing ahead on the weekend (an entire day of singing - a JS Bach scratch!)
Thankful for the trusting affections of our cats
Particularly thankful to sleep like a baby again, after several weeks of lying awake for hours on end. Good sleep is priceless.
@JNL, Same. I purchased a letter written on vintage letterhead from my town (I collect memorabilia), got it yesterday, and then thought I'd read the letter. Oh man, I must be tired because this is making no sense. Then I realized it was in German. sheesh. Luckily I can piece together German.
Hahah, that is so funny! It's a metaphorical rearview mirror, looking back at your life. 🙂
You are the manifestation of resilience, perseverance and grace. So proud of you (sight unseen)!
It is so wonderful to hear how well you are feeling these days. You give hope to people struggling.
1. While I hate to see winter ending, I am liking the snow melting off parking lots because it makes my walking much safer.
2. That thawing is happening very slowly, with high 30s during the day and near zero at night. If it thaws too fast, there is flooding.
3. For my moving to Las Vegas friend, who keeps blessing us with bag after bag of food and cleaning supplies she does not want to move with her. Things that we will not use are passed on to folks who will use them. (A bachelor friend loved the 41 packs of instant potatoes!)
4. For Houndini and Clobber Paws, who amuse us every day. I also appreciate that when Clobber Paws had an attack of diarrhea, and we missed his signals that he needed to go outside, he went to the bathroom in our shower. If you are going to have an accident dog, I appreciate that you did it on tile.
5. For the husband, always the husband. One of the things I got for his Easter basket (yes, we exchange those) was a bright red t-shirt with the saying, "I prayed for strength and courage, so God sent me a Lithuanian wife." There is a Valkyrie looking figure, draped in the country's flag, in the middle of the writing. I know it will make him laugh.
@Lindsey, your #5 may make the husband laugh, but it's 100% true. And it makes me think of a dear Lithuanian friend, now long gone but never forgotten.
As for Clobber Paws, give him my love and tell him Auntie A. Marie says that any pet who aims for an easily cleanable surface to have an accident is a keeper. Betty is the first of our six cats who, on the rare occasions when she does barf, does it on the kitchen floor instead of one of the good rugs.
Kristen, thank YOU for letting me be on your team! I so appreciate your blog and this supportive community. As I was out walking this morning, I remembered it is Thursday and I was looking forward to the Thankful Thursday post. Thank you again!
Thankful for:
* My youngest daughter (12 yo) feeling safe and supported enough by me that she turns to me in harder times. She even joined me in bed at 2h am last night because she had trouble sleeping. This is very precious to me (in contrast to my 14yo who I feel like would prefer for me to just.... not talk to her? I know it's phases, but man it's hard!)
* A good, peaceful, solid relationship with DH. We had many rough years but kind of settled down in that "next chapter" of our relationship a couple years ago and it's nice.
* Books. My grandma used to say "" With a book you are never alone"" and, indeed, it helped me in times of loneliness, especially as a kid.
* My cute little Morkie (6 pounds!) that just loves to jump on my lap and cuddle, and is also sleeping with us most nights. I call her my velcro-dog.
* My Health. I have a history of not treating my body in the best possible ways for many many years, so that I'm still up and running, without major ailments, in my 40's is pretty good and not something I'm taking for granted (my health) anymore.
Kristen, To feel that you can tell us about your achievements without inviting scorn brings home how dark it was for you in years past. When you post about good news, whether personal or professional, I am thrilled and whooping for you. It feels like several more steps away from the dark time. For this I am thankful.
I’m once again thankful for a DH and two DSs who show they care in countless ways.
Always grateful to live in a lovely area, with good-hearted people all around, who show up for each other.
Thankful for financial security, which we achieved by dint of working hard, saving, and investing well. And very happy that our sons are following in those footsteps far sooner in their lives than we did.
Thankful that my health is improving, although so slowly, a tiny bit most days. Scared to let that go in the wrong direction again.
Congrats on your exam result well done!
It has been a real blessing to read through all of the thanksgivings since I am a little later to the party today. I unwittingly slept in and soundly which is a blessing before working tonight.
I think one of the encouragements, Kristen is/was your lack of malice in this sad situation. A testimony to respect in hard situations. By riding the waves, owning the grief, you have taught us much. You are already a "good teacher." What you know and have experienced will continue to make you a good nurse.
I am thankful for spring cheer. Since winter cold and being sick, I have not had the energy or gumption to do much. I feel like the sunshine has oiled my creaking joints and given me at least, a little desire to get some yard work done. What I accomplished day before yesterday was enough to provide noticeable improvement. We are still in the weather indecision of "is it spring or not?" so the cold has put me back in the house. Hopefully straighten up the house before work tonight.
Thankful I have cooked a couple of things to rely on instead of "driving through."
Thankful for cuddles and kisses from Miss Molly.
Thankful for the spring blooms in my yard. And for my freshly potted pansies and violas on the front porch.
You deserve all good things, Kristen. I’m glad this is a time when you can put your wants/ needs/ desires first!
♥️
Kristen, I read your post and couldn't stop hearing Jon Batiste's "FREEDOM!" in my ear -- if you've never seen/heard it, go to YouTube. The joyfulness is positively infectious. Some of the lyrics: "Free to live (how I wanna live), I'ma get (where I'm gonna get), 'Cause it's my freedom" and "Now it's your time (it's your right), You can shine (it's alright)."
"The reason we get down, is to get back up. If someone's around, go on let them look. You can't stand still -- This ain't no drill."
Congratulations.
So glad you are in a good place…you clearly deserve it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your gratitude. I am grateful to be your reader!
I’m so thankful for Spring! Though it’s chilly and a bit breezy today, I’m still filled with the hope of longer days, more daylight and beautiful, blooming things.
I’m thankful for an essay I read recently by Devin Kelly. It’s called,” Stumbling Can Be Lovely,” and is so encouraging of the virtue of perseverance and of learning new things in older age.
I’m so thankful for a recent “touching base” with most of my siblings.
I’m thankful for new ways my husband and I are finding to serve in our local church and we’re not feeling “put out to pasture” too often.
I’m thankful for our pup , Wally, who brings us so much joy. I’m thankful for my husband and for all the great conversations we’re still having after all these years, and for the fun we’re having in our older years. I’m thankful for good food, coffee, good friends and good books, and good health( at present).
I'm so thankful to see this post! I bet one year ago you would not have believed you would be writing this post today. You will still have bad days when you have to ride those waves of bad memory, but they will become fewer and farther in between. A wonderful life is ahead of you--embrace it, enjoy it, rejoice and go forward. How lovely to watch this all unfold for you!
I loved this post so much!
Congratulations on your A on your med-surg class.
I'm very thankful for signs of spring -- snow is starting to melt and it's been above freezing the last few nights.
I have garden seedlings sprouting under the grow lights indoors.
We're going camping next week and I can hardly wait -- I love camping.
We're having our house painted while we're gone. The same wonderful man who painted it right after we moved in is doing the job. We are his last job before he moves out of state, so I'm thankful he was able to work us in, even as I'm sad to see him go.
I'm thankful for friends we were able to spend time with this week.
You have EARNED some bragging rights! What a year it has been, and it’s only getting started… I love hearing of school, your progress in the emotional challenges of going through a separation/divorce, time you spend with your girls, and all the rest! Your home exudes comfort and joy..and I LOVE the kitties too!! BRAVO to you!!!
Kristen, I am happy for your relative peace. In part is has been a choice you made-- to be positive and thankful. I've had a host of (medical) problems this week, and when my physical therapist asked how I've been doing, I decided to say, "I'm joyful, but my body is falling apart." We always have competing emotions, and you've done a good job of making sure you balance the bad with the good.
This week I am thankful:
*for my facial physical therapist and my chiropractor.
*that my father had a walker in our house when I had my first experience with vertigo.
*for my husband. He does a wonderful job of taking care of me in so many ways.
*that my daughter made supper while my husband took me to therapy today.
*that the used books store (where we dropped off books for store credit) had some books we were missing in kids' series we collect.
*that my son met rejection with peace. He's currently really excited to finish up another writing project so he "can hurry up and get another rejection."
*for sunshine.
*that a wildfire was contained before is burned our friends' house.
*for the freshly baked bread I will eat with our supper.
*for butter, coffee, scones, berries, an overabundance of eggs, good water, warm showers, not always having vertigo, books, and letters in mailboxes (I didn't get any, but Kristen's post earlier this week or whenever gave me all the memories that are lingering.).
So thankful to be able to travel to see our kids and grandkids frequently! When everyone lives all over the place it can be a challenge to be part of each other’s lives. It is a blessing to be able to have the time together to catch up!!
Thankful for reading your "navigation" history -- something I hope to share with a few dear hearts who are in the rough waters of hard marital times.
oxoxxoxo
bwsmith
I am thankful for your blog. For Rose's excellent shampoo recommendation. For my m-i-l having no signs of cancer at the moment. For my 15 yr old daughter who struggles in school. At the teacher conferences tonight, her teachers all mentioned her hard work is
showing. And there is a great improvement in her grades. Am so grateful for that. Also grateful that she has agreed to lead a prayer at her brother's Bar Mitzvah next month. When I first asked her about it, she looked like a dear caught in headlights.
Am so glad things are easier for you now.
Im so impressed by everything you do and the attitude you do it with. You are truly an inspiring person.
"I was thinking about things like the winery evening the other night, my trips to the symphony, my hiking adventures, study groups with classmates, and so on.
"Some years ago, I would not have been able to do all of those things, and I am so, so grateful that I have the freedom to do them now."
So basically what you're saying is that your ex was so controlling you couldn't go to an evening out by yourself, hike by yourself, be in a study group?
Oh, Kristen. That's so awful. I am so, so sorry and I am also so glad you left and I want to scream at your ex. A lot of "Christian" culture is so toxic and awful. In my opinion, Luke's story of Jesus at the home of Mary and Martha makes it obvious that Jesus respected women as people who were allowed to choose their own lives. Otherwise he wouldn't have taught Mary as a disciple. (This is all academic to me as I'm still an atheist.)
As they say, there are always two sides to every story, and I'm sure that the other party's perspective on this would differ from mine, so I don't know how much I should say specifically, at least in a public forum. Over coffee, off the record, I could say much more.
But I will heartily agree that there is a lot of patriarchal misogyny in mainstream evangelical circles (it is most certainly not just on the fringes), and that the doctrine of wifely submission has resulted in hundreds (ok, probably thousands) of Christian wives getting stuck in abusive situations, married to men who use their church-given power for their own good, not for the good of their families.
I know that there are happy and healthy marriages that subscribe to this type of doctrine, but that does not change the fact that this teaching basically serves up many women for a lifetime of abuse; I can no longer support such a teaching.
It was great to read your list, Kristen! Yes, we are absolutely on your team!
This week I'm thankful for a lot...
* that my brother and I (along with my 5yo daughter) got to drive from Michigan to North Carolina to celebrate my uncle's life. I really enjoyed the road trip with my brother and am incredibly thankful that it worked out for us to go. It meant a lot to my aunt.
* for all of the people who came to the visitation and told us stories of how my uncle impacted them in their day-to-day life. We didn't get to see him very much due to the distance and I'm thankful that people took the time to come and share.
* that my aunt has such a good support system around her. I think over 30 neighbors came and it's obvious that they take care of each other.
* for my friend who came to our rescue today. I needed my 2 kids left at home to go 3 days without getting sick - especially today due to a big event at my husband's work - and it did not work out! One of my friends came over today to watch my kid that had puked last night AND she even cleaned my house while she was here! What. A. Gem. I knew it was a big ask to watch my sick kid all day and I'm so thankful she was willing to help out!
* for safe travels. We drove a lot of miles in the last 3 days.
Identify with all you shared about getting through divorce. As we begin to "finally arrive" at the other shore....find how bright it is!!! Amazing that anything that can initially hurt so very badly and be so terrifying....turns into the best thing that has ever happened to us. Praise God!!! May He continue to watch over and bless you!!! You have truly been a blessing and helped me to well remember my very similar journey of years ago. Will keep you in my prayers as you finish school. I too remember how exciting it was to make such good grades. Who Knew WE Could Do That!!!!! Find strength we never imagined we had!!!!!!!!!!!! Take Care!!!
- 3 walks in one day
- sunshine
- 3 terrific meetings at work
- my kids' excitement about the "3 Body Problem"
- delicious pesto chicken pasta for dinner
Congratulations on your grades and how you can see so much growth in your life! Sometimes the best growth comes through the hardest times.
I'm thankful that our new roof was covered by insurance due to hail damage last year and that we submitted the claim just before the time ran out. And that the weather was clear and cool on the day they installed it, 3 days ago. Today it was raining buckets.
After a very busy month and a half at work, thankful that it has slowed down a bit and I had time to breathe this week.
We recently found out my husband needs a kidney transplant and he is currently on the process of getting on the list. Thankful for the friends who have already signed up to be a potential living donor and for the community of friends and family who are supporting us in prayer and encouragement as I share his/our story with them. Found out today that through my sharing, another friend who's husband is going through the same thing was inspired to reach out to their friends and community as well.
Thankful that my husband got an unexpected bonus from work!
This is such a sweet post!!
Today I am especially gratefull for all the amazing work my body does to keep me alive and well, and for my imperfect and yet sweet, loving family.
I have recently been told that I'll need to go through surgery (I wasn't expecting this att all) and since then I've gained a whole new apreciation for this house of mine, aka my body. I spent so many years telling myself I was this and that and this fact gave me a new perspective: my body is my house, it keeps me alive and well, and this is enough reason for me to love it and take care of it and be gratefuul for it.Enough with the aethetic pressure to look a certain way, I will not talk myself down anymore. As for my family we have disagreemnts and struggle in some points as all families do, but these people are by my side come rain or sunshine, going out of their ways to make me feel seen and supported and for sharing life with them I am forever gratefull.
TEAM KRISTEN all the way <3 So proud of you, love your scholarship advice from the other day, and just all you have to share with us.
I am dealing with a very recent and very shocking medical situation, and can truly say that this week I have cried buckets of tears of gratitude and just drops for all the other emotions. I feel truly surrounded with support. Thank you all for being my extended community and part of my team too!