Thankful Thursday | not for the weather
We are in the midst of a sticky, cloudy, drizzly string of days, and I do not appreciate this, especially because this is a time of year when I hope for crisp autumn air.
But on the other hand, I know other people, like our dear Floridian readers, are preparing for a hurricane, which is much worse than a bunch of days of clouds.
So I am not gonna complain about the drizzle, and I hope for safety for everyone in the path of the hurricane.
This week, I am thankful:
for an at-home first day of med-surg clinicals
My group is on the oncology floor for our clinicals the next three weeks, and the first day went really well. I felt so at home on this floor because it is almost exactly like the floor where I work.
for success with a difficult patient
The nurse and the tech yesterday were both feeling a little frazzled by a particular patient, but a couple of my classmates and I managed to work together and get her care all completed.
And I think this patient is actually excited to see us today too. 🙂
Yay us!
for how competent I feel
When I got my summer job as a tech, I kinda thought the experience would help me in upcoming clinicals.
But I was not prepared for just how confident the tech job has made me!
I think back to how hesitant I felt on the first day of med-surg clinicals in February, and when I compare that to how I felt this week, I see a night and day difference.
Now I walk into a room with lots of "I belong here and I know how to do this job." energy, and that feels really good. 🙂 As they say, competence breeds confidence.
I am so so so glad I worked all those tech shifts this summer! I did not earn piles of money, but I gained priceless experience.
for the privilege of caring for the dying
Yesterday I did my first post-mortem care for a patient who passed away. While it is, of course, sad when a patient passes away, I think there is something beautiful about the work we do in respectfully caring for the person's body; it feels like an honor.
We also had a hospice lecture this week, and as I watched the pre-lecture videos about people who care for people who are dying, I teared up many times.
It is so beautiful to see the gentle and kind way hospice and palliative care workers tend to people, and it reminded me of the "why" behind all the studying I am doing: people need competent and kind care.
The post-mortem experience at clinical was another in a long line of experiences that have confirmed that I am pursuing a career that is right for me; I find it inspiring, not disturbing, to care for people, even when it's at the end of life.
While of course I love to help people get better, I also feel like some of my most meaningful healthcare work so far has been with patients and families who are facing death.
And that makes me wonder if I will end up working as a hospice nurse one day.
for how spacious life feels with 8-hour clinical shifts
I am so used to being at the hospital for 12.5 hours, an 8-hour clinical shift feels like it's gone in a blink!
Like...I had time to go to the gym afterward.
And shower.
And make dinner.
And do clinical paperwork.
And do laundry.
In contrast, with 12-hour shifts, there's barely time to eat and shower before you gotta go to bed!
for the cats
that Lisey is feeling more confident at her job
She's really settling into a groove as an airplane mechanic now, and that makes me so happy for her!
Kristen--You are utterly amazing and make me feel positive about things I was feeling anywhere from fuzzy to negative! I have read your blog from the beginning and feel like you are one of my grown kids. I could never list all the good feelings and ideas I have gotten from you in a comment. I wish I could meet you and talk and give you a hug.
Your patients are incredibly fortunate to have you with them. I hope my granddaughter, just beginning a nursing program, is as inspired as you. She, too, is off to a good start in wanting nursing for the right reasons. Love, Gail
@Gail, this is lovely, and I agree
100% !!
Wow! I'm glad you had such a wonderful week. May you have many more to come.
I love "competence breeds confidence".
I am thankful for a wonderful trip to MN to spend time with family and sightseeing. The rain managed to come at convenient times and otherwise the weather and scenery, as well as the company, were memorable. I am also thankful our return flight was almost on schedule as hours before we were getting notifications of increasing delays (at one point of 2-1/2 hours).
I am thankful for the ability to eat at home this week. Meals while not on the road are better for me both in terms of health and how I feel.
I am thankful I was able to reschedule my annual physical quickly after my appointment for next Monday was cancelled by my PCP. I know she is scheduled to give birth next week so I was not surprised to be notified of the cancellation. I called and I am able to go today.
I am thankful for all the people in my life: friends, family, neighbors, and acquaintances.
Kristen, you sound as if you had an excellent week. I'm particularly glad to hear that you are thinking about going into end-of-life nursing. The need for good nurses and other health care professionals at all stages of life is acute--but, in my opinion, particularly so in geriatric and hospice care.
And I too am not thankful for the hurricane. But I'm thankful for @JD, @Bee, and all our other Floridians in the Commentariat, and I'm hoping that they all stay safe and suffer as little property damage as possible.
@A. Marie, you are such a special person. I am thankful for you and the commentariat too.
We should only have rain and tropical storm force winds in my area. However, a nearby neighbor who is having a pool put in has not had the port-o-let that workmen use picked up yet. This makes me anxious.
To my other Floridian friends, I’m thinking of you. Of course, I wish all of you peace, good health and prosperity.
@Bee,
OMG, I can just imagine a flying outhouse sailing by your place! Hope they get it down in time. Take care!
@Bee, I am west of Tampa, we also should only get tropical storm force winds. I am thankful to have been spared another direct hit! Prayers to all in Helene's path.
So nice to have updates on your girls again. Go Lisey - glad you are thriving!
Plus cat pictures, good on any day of the week 🙂
This week I am thankful that we have landscaping work done by someone who has helped us before, who is quick and handy and easy to communicate with.
Thankful that we can have work done for maintenance and improvement of our home - bit by bit.
Thankful that we have lived in this house for over 20 years already and are still happy to contnue here.
Thankful that we are in good health.
Thankful that I was able to swim every day this week and that I could see the first geese migrating overhead, while I was swimming
Thankful to look forward to the weekend when I intend to plant some tulips, in anticipation of next Spring.
1. Thankful for the rain that has allowed newly spread grass seed to thrive!
2. Thankful for a college visit with our son that had all the right feels!
3. Happy about a bumper crop of basil and parsley!
4. Friends and family. Always guiding and loving us.
5. Thankful for whatever search led me to Kristin’s blog all those years ago, because I don’t know how I would start my days without it. It is life changing as others have written to see positivity, hope and encouragement amidst life’s trials. Thank you:)
@JDS, I have to wholeheartedly agree with you that starting the day with Kristen’s blog is an empowering and delightful way to set a great tone.
@JDS, I'm impressed that you can grow both basil and parsley at the same time. Where I live, one is a summer crop and the other is a winter crop.
And yes yes yes to your #5!
@JDS,
I generally read Kristen's blog during my lunch time at work, and I can say she's a wonderful lunch companion. 🙂
Thinking of all our Floridians in the Commentariat and hoping they all remain safe during the hurricane.
1) I'm thankful the hurricane will remain east of us, so we do not have to worry about torrential downpours and flooding.
2) I'm thankful closing day is finally here for selling our house. It's been a long road with the buyers requesting repairs less than 48 hours before closing, but we got them done. Looking forward to being mortgage free again.
3) I'm thankful DS came over for dinner last night. With the move and helping with the grandbaby, I feel like I haven't had enough time to spend with him the last 6 months.
4) I'm thankful we live close to DD and her family. Our SIL is out of town on business, and I've been going over after work every day to help DD with the baby.
5) I'm thankful for the rain that will help the newly spread grass seed to thrive without us running the sprinkler system twice a day.
I am thankful for hospice care nurses.
My mom had hospice care at home the last couple days of her life. Those women were angels, helping my mother with her pain and fears, while also informing and comforting my father and I. I love that you are considering being a hospice nurse one day. The work they do is so important.
@JenRR,
My mother in law had hospice care for about 7 months before she passed. They are angels here on earth, and I will never forget the hospice nurse that was with me and my MIL on her last night.
Well, here, I am thankful for the weather, wet and drizzly as it may be this weekend; we had over a month without any significant rain and everyone's lawns are brown (except for the weeds, naturally), and they're having to heavily treat the city water because levels are low. We just got nearly half an inch of rain and I say bring on the clouds and wet for a while! A
I'm thankful for my childhood years spent helping my brother practice his pitching. Our youngest wanted to learn baseball, so every afternoon sees me out with him and his brothers, who have decided they want to learn as well, doing catching and batting practice. My brother didn't leave any kids, but he left a little legacy with my baseball skills. I'm also thankful we have baseball diamonds not too far from our house.
@Karen A.,
Same here....no rain for over month. I've been watering the gardens like crazy, so I'm definitely thankful for some Ohio rain!
End of life care nurses have a very special place as Angels here on Earth & I think it would be a great fit for you. 😉
Thankful that teen is doing so great in college class & material coming very easy for teen.
Thankful that teen driving to college & still feels a little bit of fearfulness so still very careful & cautious when on road. Other drivers so crazy (even in good weather) & makes me fearful as teen on road still gaining experience in (new to) teen vehicle.
Thankful was able to gas cheap as most places went up $0.40+ yesterday even though we are not in path of hurricane.
Thankful my family in Florida is as prepared as can be & not in worst predicted part of path of hurricane, though my dad is in not great predicted area but luckily he is not right on water like my Aunt. Will be watching weather radar a lot today & checking in with my family to see if ok.y Aunt is in mandatory evaluation area but is not leaving (as are some of her neighbors) & I will be checking in first with her. Luckily these neighbors will heavily encourage my Aunt to leave & go with them to higher/safer ground if necessary & still possible.
Thankful my neighbor is waiting a day or two before leaving Michigan to drive to Georgia as I have talked with her after speaking with my family & getting Florida news/weather updates. Florida news is more accurate than National News weather.
Thankful for modern technology that allows us (& others) the ability to monitor & see radar anywhere.
Thankful for 70s & partial sunshine with not much rain. Next week is predicted 60s so enjoying every day I can of good weather.
Thankful for Kristen's blog & the ability to learn & share with all of you.
May any of you in Hurricane Helene path please be safe.
Have a great weekend.
This week I'm thankful:
* that it's finally starting to feel like fall. We were stuck in the mid-80's until this week (I'm in Michigan, y'all!) and it feels so good to be able to wear jeans. I was still warm in a hoodie, but we are getting there.
* that this change to having all of my kids in school doesn't feel like it's wrecked me. I haven't been mopey. I've got just the right amount of work to do (paid and volunteer) to keep me really busy, but I haven't felt like I've been drowning.
* that I had time to deep clean a room in my house on Tuesday.
* for my husband.
* for my friends.
* that we had enough costumes on hand to not have to buy anything special for the dress-up days for Homecoming week.
* that my Thursday job is flexible enough to let me go to my kindergartener's teddy bear parade at 9 and just come in afterwards - no big deal. (All of the kindergarteners make a "float" out of a shoebox and put a stuffed animal inside, then they parade through the entire school. It is the CUTEST thing!)
Now, off to walk my dog quickly on this beautiful, crisp morning!
I think you would make a wonderful hospice nurse. You have such a kind heart and non-judgmental attitude that others grief may look different, and that's ok. You have a lot of natural gifts (and hard training and learning) that could be such a blessing to families and patients.
It's been a rough week, but in the middle of all the rough, a house came on the market, and we have a contract on it! 2 acres in a quiet setting with no HOA and just 3 miles or so down the road from where we are now. We are very excited. The house only needs cosmetic changes to make it our own style. The couple that built the house passed away and had no family. The neighbor is the executor of their will (so she got to pick who bought the house and will be her new neighbor and we are thrilled she chose us out of all the offers they received!). We have been looking for a house for about a year, so this is wonderful news. I think we will be in the new house until we are 65-70 years old...unless all our kids moved from this area...then we would move to the beach asap ha!
Thankful my cat is having a better day the last day or so. Right after our dog passed...the cat was very upset for days.
Thankful for my mom's health. This summer I really thought she was never going to be the same, but she seems to have turned a corner and is doing so much better. They went on a mini-vacation this week and I even saw her walking up flights of steps like she used to do.
Thankful that I have closed out everything for end of the fiscal year (I do accounting). I have a little break between now and October 1.
Very thankful that my current house is a newer home so we have a very short checklist of things to do to be able to list it. I think we could knock most of them out this weekend.
@Marlena, Excited about your new home, congratulations!
Today, I am thankful for a slight cold snap in Austin that felt amazing as I sipped my coffee on the patio. Such a luxury! Thankful that I am CAPABLE - I jump started my truck with the help of my car, drove it to AutoZone, and purchased a new battery. Not a cheap day, but I handled it 100% myself and had the funds to do so. Thankful that I found a therapist who I believe will help me get ready to move into the holidays in a better state of mind. And thankful for my boys, who while I am ready for them to move out and move on, are a source of comfort to me also.
Side note: look up hospice nurse Julie on You Tube. Her videos are short and informative and she seems like she has very good information to share.
@Gina from The Cannary Family, Thankful with you on the cold snap there. One set of our kids live in Austin. Also, super proud of you for handling the car needs alone. That, to me, is amazing because I can’t imagine doing it on my own.
@Gina from The Cannary Family, I too admire you for getting the truck started and down to AutoZone. Me, I'd just have called AAA--but then I'm pretty wimpy when it comes to automotive issues.
HospiceNurseJulie is a great follow on Instagram - I have learned SO much! She also talks some about her sobriety journey and you mentioned having had to go to an AA meeting.
I love that you're considering working as a hospice nurse! I've hoped for that since you said you were going to nursing school. I don't know how they/you do it, but I am so thankful for the people that do. It has been 11 years now since my grandmother died in a hospice house, and I still remember how amazing the nurses were and how they bathed her, brushed her hair, and dressed her nicely after she died. She was always very particular about her clothes, so it really meant a lot that they did that.
Thankful that you recommended Altra shoes. Wearing my first pair (bought on sale!) and my feet are very happy.
Thankful that i bought a generator this spring; gas cans are filled and ready for Helene.
Thankful for insurance and a savings account just in case, and for an employer who will pay a days wages for the Friday we will be closed because of the storm.
Thankful for this blog and for your honesty and for curating such an interesting and positive community!
I've had a heinous week at work and am thankful tomorrow is Friday! That's all I've got!
@Sophie in Denmark, Sometimes that's all I've got as well! Goodbye and good riddance to some days/weeks, for sure. Hope you have a glorious weekend to make up for it.
@JDinNM, aw, thanks!
Kristen, my first experience with hospice was 18 years ago with my Dad who was in a hospice facility for the last month of his life. Every single person who worked there was amazing. I told one of the nurses one day how much our family appreciated the loving care they gave my Dad. She said for her it was like a ministry and she felt it was a privilege to work there. I can so see you working in an environment where compassion and a caring spirit are most important!
The long journey to this place in life where you should be is bearing beautiful fruit. The suffering that shouldn’t have been there in the first place seems to be diminishing maybe even in the rear mirror. It’s heartening to hear of your increasing successes and happiness. It can serve as a blueprint for many others—another way in which your penchant for caring for people comes through.
Thankful for resources that will hopefully have me walking well again. That is certainly not the case right now.
Your "why" (you're training to be a nurse) made me cry. Competence is obviously important but compassionate medical care is equally important and often overlooked. I'm sure it's easy to become jaded after years in the field, but I'm always impressed (and extremely thankful) when my providers are kind and empathize with my situation while treating me.
Everyone here knows YOU are going to be a fabulous nurse, my hope is that you're not an anomaly.
It's been a challenging week here, but I'm thankful for:
- An unchanging God, even when plans change.
- Friends and the ability to communicate across oceans.
- coffee
- a good night's sleep
@Katy, it is such a blessing to have those constants when life around is in a state of chaos. Thank you for the solid list.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, @Katy,
You got that right!
Since I had to evacuate, along with the rest of my county, I’m thankful to be seated in my sister’s backyard under gray, moist and breezy conditions instead of being home watching the wind gusts get stronger and rain pouring down.
I’m thankful my daughter made it here with her pets, her daughter is safely in Alabama with her dad and my other daughter and her family are staying with a neighbor who has that rare commodity in Florida, a basement.
I’m thankful that my (elderly) neighbors decided not to ride this one out and evacuated.
I’m thankful that you posted about hospice because they were amazing for us and DH. And like A. Marie said, elder care is also so important. It’s not all nursing homes; elder care also involves knowing things like the difference in medication reactions on an aging body and the need for proper diet. So many small things can take a basically healthy older person and put them in a nursing home or a health decline simply because no one is looking for the simple issues that affect them differently. Elder care practitioners know to look.
I’m thankful to everyone here for their support during this hurricane. I don’t mind telling you I am about at my limit for this sort of thing!
@JD, My Aunt said the same thing last night when I talked with her trying to convince her to evacuate & go to my cousins (still in Florida but not on water). She said she's considering selling now after 30+ years because she's at her limit also.
Glad you are in a safe place & pray your home has little/no damage.
@JD, I'm glad you got to your sister's place safely. And a big yes to all you said about elder care in general.
@JD, I'm so glad you evacuated and are safe with family. When hurricane Hugo was barreling toward Charleston many years ago, my aunt refused our pleas to leave her home. Then a tree fell on her house, and we were hundreds of miles away and unable to help her. Thankfully she was not hurt but the repercussions from that one decision to not evacuate lasted years.
I too felt it was a privilege to be with my father in his last days on this earth. It was completely my honor to be with him as he transitioned from this earth.
Loved this post! So happy for you & Lisey for you confidence at work. Well done.
Let's see:
1) Grateful that DS18 had his first day of college, and said it went well. It's hard when your kids leave the nest.
2) Generally so grateful that, so far, DS18 is loving college. I have a lot of friends with homesick kids, and it's so wonderful to hear that DS is having a great time. I know homesickness may still come, but I'm loving that he's putting himself out there & really pushing.
3) I've been also trying to get out of my comfort zone & reach out to old friends. Had a fabulous walk with a friend I hadn't seen in six months & so enjoyed the time together.
4) Went on an incredible with another friend, and while it was very physically challenging, I'm so grateful to my body for allowing me to do things like this.
5) Thankful for DH, for making dinner while I was on a volunteering call. I'm not a HUGE fish person, but I actually really liked the fish he prepared & appreciated so much him pinch hitting when he got home from work.
It is such a delight to have that sense of doing a job and doing it well. I think it feeds into Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's (yes I Googled that to get the spelling right!!) concept of flow. It's that perfect space of being challenged, but also being competent to meet those challenges. To me, it seems like that's exactly where you are in the nursing program now and it's a wonderful feeling and a testament to both the hard work you've put in but also a clear desire to grow and learn. Nursing isn't just a job to you, it seems like a calling? So yay to all of this!
@Elisabeth, I chuckled over your Googling of Mihaly's last name--which, in my many years as a copyeditor of mental health texts, was one of the minor banes of my work life. But his concept of flow was an important contribution, so I did it with only minor grumbling. (No, I didn't actually copyedit any books of his, but he was forever turning up in papers and bibliographies.)
I often miss posting because of the time difference, knowing my post will be one of the last of (sometimes) 100s of posts! But this week I am truly grateful for several things related to a car accident that I was involved in two weeks ago. My friend was taking me to an appointment and we were T-boned when going through an intersection. The other driver said she did not see that the light was red. My friend was completely unhurt, thank goodness. I called another friend who picked us up, took my friend home and took me for medical treatment.
I thought I was basically okay until a few hours later when bruising started appearing on my abdomen and hand. After trying a few different Urgent Care centers, the doctor at the third one told me that I needed to go to the ER because I had an abdominal trauma and needed a cat scan. So off we went and I have never had such a short waiting time in the ER. They do not mess around! They immediately did an ultrasound of my kidneys and later did the cat scan and blood work. They x-rayed my hand, which had a large hematoma. No internal injuries and no broken bones. I am very thankful for that! I'm also thankful for my friend that got out of bed to come and pick us up and spent the day with me in various waiting rooms. I'm thankful that my friend was unhurt, even though her car was totaled. I'm thankful for the police and fire fighters who came and the three motorists who stopped to see if we needed help. We did. I couldn't open my car door from the inside. A few days later I went back to the ER because I was still having chest pains and wasn't sure if they had evaluated those the first time. They hadn't, but did so and all was okay. I managed with some non-narcotic pain medication I had left over and Tylenol. I have a high pain threshold of pain, which I am also grateful for.
My friend had another accident about a week later in the car she borrowed from her sister. She was T-boned again by a woman driving in the dark without her headlights on. My friend is understandably skittish about driving and doesn't have a vehicle now anyway. She had some injuries this time, but nothing too bad. I'm grateful she is mostly okay.
It's been an eventful few weeks and I'm thankful to have survived it! I thought of you, Kristen, several times in the hospital. Everyone was so kind.
@Dee in AZ, What a horrible time for you and for your poor friend. Hope you are soon over the aches and pains.
@Dee in AZ, Wow, I'm sorry for you and your friend - I for sure would be skittish at this point too! I'm very glad that you had no internal injuries. Hope all your pain ]fades very quickly.
@Lindsey, thank you! I still have some bruising but not too much pain now.
@Suz, thank you! I'm doing much better than a few weeks ago!
@Dee in AZ, I join the others in being sorry that this happened and glad that you're OK. And I hope that your friend recovers quickly from her injuries and can get another car ASAP.
@A. Marie, thank you. Right now she doesn’t want to drive, but I hope she changes her mind once she’s feeling better.
I love what you say about the privilege of providing end-of-life care. I have thought about those who provide this extraordinary service a lot in the last few years. The reason for this is a little convoluted, but I'm at the tail end of a 3-year research project that culminated in a workshop series for health professionals.
I'm a linguistics PhD and professor, so my contribution is tangential and focused on providing culturally sensitive healthcare. I have been fascinated to discover that the medical side of the cultural sensitivity conversation has frequently been led by palliative care experts. Of course, it makes sense to me if I think about it for very long. Cultural perspectives on death and dying vary dramatically, so the people who provide end of life care need to have a degree of expertise in this area.
I'm so happy to hear that you are finding joy in your choice to pursue nursing. I am so proud of you (from afar)!
@profesorahb, In my culture, we take photos of the dead in their casket and more photos with different groups of people posing around the casket. The first time my poor husband experienced that, and was asked to take some of the photos, he was horrified. It had never occurred to me that this was not normal behavior for American funerals, too.
@profesorahb, as a very experienced RN who is new to palliative care, I am learning about how crucial language and wording is in my conversations with patients and their families. Honestly, my work is now far more about communicating well than it is about any other technical nursing skills. It’s been a real eye opening experience for me.
@Lindsey, my grandfather did that (at my grandmother's bequest). It was always disconcerting to see the pictures of stillborn & died a couple days after birth. I don't think grandpa took those pictures (gads I hope not). No family around any of the pictures.
Were enough pictures where my mother was adamant about being cremated (we did) and I'm with her.
I'm sure pictures-of-the-deceased stemmed from those who grew up with few pictures.
If you haven't read Being Mortal yet, please add it to your list! It discusses end of life issues beautifully.
I'm thankful
*daughter had 3 great days of school in a row. Things have been very difficult for her, so this was awesome.
* her teachers and classroom aides who love her and support her even when she is problematic. They're coming up with ways to help her.
*8 hours of sleep after weeks of very bad nights.
*cats. The big boy cat jumped in next to me when I crashed last night, and he was upstairs guarding the kids' bedrooms this morning. Such a sweet guy.
Awww... I really admire how you started this post--and I don't even live in the path of the hurricane! Thank you so much for doing that!!
Thankfulness abounds:
1. We got to go to the cabin after being shut out for 3 weeks
2. I was able to fit in some extra gardening while unable to go to the cabin
3. So very thankful for our friend who has looked after our cats and yard this summer while we are up the hill.
4. A great library book: American Harvest.
5. A week of nothing but painting ahead at something called "Fall Color Week" in Monterey (the only frugal things about it is that it is driving distance so no airline ticket or car rental needed AND I didn't pay extra for a single room. . . oh boy, unknown roomie situation ahead!)
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, sometimes unknown roomie situations can work out beyond one's wildest dreams. JASNA BFF and I didn't know each other before we were paired as roommates on the 2009 JASNA tour of England. We were making each other ROFL before the first leg of the bus trip (from London to Canterbury) had reached Greenwich, and we haven't stopped since.
@A. Marie, thank you for the encouragement. I will not horriblize or project; instead I will adopt the attitude of "More will be revealed in the fullness of time."
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, thank you for that term, "horriblize". It describes perfectly the rabbit holes my brain goes down when I lose perspective initially and then all hope.
I am grateful that the weather in Tahoe is rain free for the start of the salvaged portion of my Tahoe Rim Hike. If all goes well, I will have hiked 9 days of the proposed 15 day schedule. 9 days is a lot of paradise.
I am grateful that my hotspot time ran out at the cabin. ( no wireless or tv.) It forced me to the library to work on a small business I am considering in this 4th quarter of my life. I also completed two books: one with troubling destructive themes on "modern relationships" ( "infidelity, hook ups and deceit are ok as long as they feel like good." spoiler: no one had a solid loving relationship in the end); and one with thought provoking, empowering themes about fate versus self determination. I'll recommend the latter, Here One Moment. I really enjoyed it. It wasn't too deep for a fall day in a cabin but wasn't fluff either.
I am grateful for a healthy family, financial security, and a liberal arts education that allows me to understand how incredibly lucky anyone is who has been born in my time, in my country, with modern technology and a strong faith.
@mary ann, Cheering you on your continuation of the Rim Hike!
"for success with a difficult patient"
Keep in mind that the reward for a job well done is ... another job.
1. Cooler weather.
The summer was long, hot, and sticky.
2. That my father is hale, independent, and with enough resources for the rest of his life.
None of this is to be taken for granted.
3. That my father is realistic and frank about the remainder of his life and the end thereof.
We all know what he wants, how to tell him when he's doing something foolish (back-to-back redeye flights, really!?!), and that he listens.
3. That the relevant three of us - father, brother, myself - agree on how to care for him as it becomes necessary.
Whatever it is, do it at his home, to the fullest extent possible. Even in the unlikely event that he suffers dementia. As he puts it, he's more likely to run out of healthy body than healthy mind. We all also agree that the bulk of the responsibility will fall to my brother.
4. That the past 14 months are over and may the next ones be easier.
No guarantees. Sure wish there were.
Our family has two experiences with hospice and both were very positive. Hospice workers are a special kind of people to do what they do, knowing what the ultimate outcome will be. And the way they follow up and offer care for the survivors is amazing! With your caring spirit, you would be great at hospice work, Kristen!
I did a thing yesterday. I get a perm about once or twice a year and this time I had a better vision of what I wanted and had my hair layered. It did not turn out as I had pictured in my mind but it is very curly and cute. Even at 72, I want cute. It's a leftover trait from my Mom.
Thank you Kristen, for yours and your fellow student's help to the "frazzled" nurses. It is the "time" element that makes the most difference in a patient's care. I think that nursing becomes exasperating when there is not enough time to spend with a patient that is "needy."
And thank you for recognizing the sacred privilege of end of life care. It is a gift to recognize it as it is and not many people are given it.
I continue to pray for the Floridians, and for Talia. I cannot imagine the threat of destructive weather. Or living under siege.
I am thankful for the abundant rain we received this past week. It is nice to have our coffers refilled.
I am thankful for this season's beauty. I am a summer girl but the changes in the air and in nature are beautiful.
I am thankful for my Molly. In my mind she has been 12y/o for four years and when I took her rabies shot certificate to the police station to get city tags, my chin dropped to realize she's 16y/o. (All I can say is that I was blonde as a child.) She's limping again in her back right leg and I am left with all of the "Am I doing enough?" questions. I have never been one to spend gargantuan funds on pet care although I love her very much and she fills the emptiness that living alone brings. I am getting in more weight lifting with her twenty six pounds.
I am thankful for fall apples. You pumpkin spice people can just move along, I prefer Golden Delicious, thank you.
I am thankful for my morning chai latte. I reordered the Tazo concentrate a week ago and it's on back order. I may have to break down and buy it in the store or may even have to sub Oregon Chai. It's good, but it is different.
@Chrissy, I buy Chai Tea from San Francisco Herb Company. It is amazing!
I have to say, I am thankful for your cats too! They are so cute and I love their different personalities and coloring. Always makes me smile when you post pics of them!
Thankful for a Lisey picture today! Long time no see ... ;-{
Thankful that after two (2) weeks of being unable to access an online newspaper subscription and phone app (due to an entire system-wide problem, not me) and every day getting a voice message from customer disservice that I was the 135th customer in the queue, I finally got through today. (I asked the service rep "Are you having fun yet?" and she said "Almost ... It's been a long long long two weeks.")
So ... also thankful I don't work a customer service job.
Thankful that my printer problem has nothing to do with the printer but just defective ink cartridges. Definitely need to think going the "tank" route when this printer gives out (as it surely will).
Thankful I'm having dinner out with friends tonight because I am in no mood to cook.
Thankful free Covid tests are available again. Go to covidtests.gov.
So glad nursing is as fulfilling as you'd hoped, Kristen. It is like you are really coming into your own now.
Thankful that:
1. Days are getting shorter.
2. Weather is getting colder.
3. Clobber paws is not able to jump our seven-foot fence in the backyard. I saw him try and he seemed quite startled to be back where he started, like some 185-pound boomerang.
4. That a friend who had a terrible stroke two years ago finally died. She could not talk or really move but her brain seemed intact, and every indication was that she wanted to be gone from this life. She had been in a home-based care facility as she could not afford anything more and it was not great. I hope she is at peace now.
5. For the husband, always the husband. Living with him for 41 years has made me a better person.
@Lindsey, What is a home-based care facility? We are at the age of looking at all options and I haven’t heard this term. Thanks!
@Lindsey, re: your #5, I always felt the same about living with DH--that he made me a bigger and better person than I would have been otherwise. And it's my hope that (as several people suggested last year after he died), together, the two of us were greater than the sum of our parts.
@ErikaJS, Some call it home-based assisted living, basically like a foster home for vulnerable adults and different ones offer different levels of care. It is home-based in the owner's home, not the patient's home. In my opinion, the state oversight of them is very insufficient and they end up being tiny businesses that are trying to make a profit. Personally, I would not put my dog in them, especially as we have what are called Pioneers' Homes in various parts of Alaska. State facilities with staff who get good benefits and thus don't quit at the drop of a hat. And, you can go into them while you are old but well, including as spousal pairs, and there are levels of care if you become unable to care for yourself. There is, however, a long waiting list. The nice thing is that people who end up there have usually lived in Alaska a long time and so people can sit around endlessly talking about the good old days. A friend recently was sent from Fairbanks to the Pioneers' Home in Anchorage but will come back here when a spot opens up.
I wish I could have you when my turn for hospice care comes.
Have you read - The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life’s Final Moments by Hadley Vlahos. A quick read by a young hospice nurse.
I am so heartened to hear you enjoying your oncology rotation. It is a wonderful experience to guide a patient and their family in those final moments.
My prayers and good thoughts are with our Florida Commentariat folks. It is a wicked storm affecting a wide swath of the gulf coast. Please be safe.
I'm thankful for fall weather. I am soooo over the very warm summer.
* This summer we were able to donate over 2000 lbs of fruit and vegetables to the community food bank and kitchens.
* The wildfires are responding to our milder weather.
Hi folks. I’ve been gone for a couple weeks after flouncing off angrily. (What, you didn’t notice? Heh.)
But I miss the Commentariat. I just had my doctor up the dosage of my anti depressants, which means I’m less angry than usual. (When I get depressed, I get super angry.)
Now I’m floating along in a warm sea of serotonin. Also, it never occurred to me until the past couple of weeks that other people feel upset when I correct them. Seriously. I don’t mind being corrected, and it’s what makes me a good editor, but then I’m arrogant as hell about my brains, so I don’t feel bad if I made a blip.
I am going to try really hard to be less of a jackass. I also didn’t realize that most commenters here think of this place as a conversation, rather than a possible argument in which the winner is proved right. I love arguing, but I will check myself. I hope.
I will try my best going forward (I really hate that phrase but whatever) and I hope to be less of a jerk.
I am grateful for this place today.
@Contrite Rose, Glad to see you back. I was wondering where you were.
@Contrite Rose, So nice to see you back! I've really missed your commentary and your wisdom about so many topics.
@Contrite Rose, glad you are feeling better. I enjoy your tales of your part of New Englad, as it's so different from everywhere else, and hearing about the beagle boys.
Thanks, guys.
@Ruby, this week, Rescue Puppy managed to open the fridge again and all four dogs had a fabulous time eating 3/4 of a turkey breast I roasted. SIGH. I was planning to make either turkey reubens or turkey, Brie and chutney sandwiches for dinner the rest of the week. Sigh. I can't get too annoyed about him because he was a stray puppy and then went to a high kill shelter and who knows what they fed him there. Also we adore him. But the child lock is on the fridge as of now.
@Contrite Rose, That's a good way to put it - I enjoy the conversations. I'm grateful for this place too.
@Contrite Rose, our most recent rescue has several weird behaviors about food due to being in general population at the animal shelter. She's small and was bullied by the other dogs. It's going to take a while for her to feel that getting fed is a normal thing.
@Contrite Rose,
Glad you're back. The comments just weren't the same without your spunkiness.
@Contrite Rose, I hope your new meds work for you, I know it can be hard to get the right balance.
I do want to point out one thing. You wrote "I also didn’t realize that most commenters here think of this place as a conversation, rather than a possible argument in which the winner is proved right.”
Even after a lifetime's experience with the neurodivergent, I don’t know how someone can be a member of this Commentariat and not realize it is a place of support, acceptance, and active avoidance of argument. If that’s how you assessed this place, then I think you should consider thinking about your comments very, very carefully before you post, and actively analyze your content for differences from the usual content.
@Ruby, I have to hand feed our Dane, even after six months, because he had to compete/fight for food his first 10 months of life and he gobbles so fast that he chokes and then coughs it out all over the place. So, I sit in a chair and every so often I pull back the bowl and say, "Swallow." He used to pretend he swallowed so now I have taught him that when I say swallow he swallows and opens his mouth to show me he is ready to eat. He used to fight this but I coupled it with a lot of head stroking and praise and now he is starting to swallow on his own sometimes. My husband thinks it hysterical that he owns his giant mouth so I can inspect it for hidden food.
@Lindsey, My other rescue, who was found literally starved, would do the same. I bought her a puzzle bowl to slow down her eating.
Naturally, of course, she eats her canned food then leaves her kibble for the puppies to eat while she goes and eats the kibble they left. This is always how it goes when I have pups and older dogs together.
@Contrite Rose,
You're back! YOU'RE BACK!!! I've missed you and everything you bring to the Commentariat.
We have a rescue cat who has "issues" around feeding. He was skin and bones when he came to us - he had been a stray for an unknown amount of time, but being declawed in front, I would guess he didn't have much luck catching anything to eat. I would also guess he wasn't very skilled at finding anything in people's trash. Anyway, it turns out he has IBS, has had pancreatitis, and now has hyperthyroidism. He requires a canned prescription food that he gets twice a day, and has access to dry cat food 24/7.....but if you're eating any "people food", he's in your face, and you can't leave any food unattended even for a few seconds. If we get carry-in pizza, we can't leave the pizza box on the kitchen counter while we eat. You get the idea.
He's been with us for at least 4 years, but I don't know if he'll ever realize there is no shortage of food.
I’m thrilled that both you and Lisey are finding your groove!!
Kristen, I agree that it’s such a privileged to care for the dying and their families
Oh, I have a big one today:
1. I had my annual visit at the gynecologist-oncologist's clinic and the doctor said there is no sign of any recurring cancer and only a small amount of scar tissue, which is to be expected after radiation. In other words, I passed the medical exam with flying colors! I have to undergo a CT scan (?, I think it is, or PET scan, or some kind of scan), just to make sure, but the doc says the chance of having any cancer is less than one percent. This is on the 2-year anniversary of the cancer surgery and radiation. The only bad thing is that I have to wait 5 years post-surgery before they'll let me donate blood again, and by then I may be too old.
2. Despite having to drive from out of town and then not finding a parking spot, which made me very late, they held open my appointment and I was able to get my exam anyway.
3. I was assigned a new doctor I'd never met before but he ended up being super nice.
4. They're going to let me get the scan at my hometown, so I don't have to drive to their place 3 counties away.
5. My cleaning lady got a car so I don't have to drive across town to pick her up anymore.
@Fru-gal Lisa, Congrats on the great doctor visit!
@Fru-gal Lisa, Yay! Double yay!! Triple yay!!!
@JDinNM and Lindsey,
Thank you very much. The credit all goes to God. He has blessed me a whole lot!
@Fru-gal Lisa, And you're a blessing to us. I hope you know how much everyone enjoys your posts.
@Fru-gal Lisa, woo hoo for your excellent medical exam results!
@Fru-gal Lisa, Congratulations on the great medical report. Your story made my day—and it was quite a day. I look forward to all of your posts but this one with the good news rocked.
Kristen, an 8 hour shift is like getting to go home at 2 pm for a 9 to 5 job. No wonder you feel like there's suddenly scads of free time.
I am thankful to have gotten in very quickly to see an eye doctor to fix a weird, painful problem -- I have some extra eyelashes that grow inward and will scrape my eye every time I blink. There aren't enough to do surgery on, so they have to be yanked out with super small tweezers by someone with magnifying equipment and a steady hand. I am sure the person processing my medical claim goes, "What the heck is this?" 😀
Otherwise had a quiet week staying home and getting over a wicked head cold. My big, sweet kitty has slept with me every night that I've been sick, lying right where I can sleep with my hand on her back which is so comforting. Made a pot of delicious garlicky potato-ham soup. We are getting some rain out of the big storm to help break a serious drought, though I hope it won't be deadly farther south.
@Ruby, my Betty sleeps with me most nights in the manner you describe for your own cat. Betty has been a joy and comfort throughout everything with DH, and is still going strong at approximately age 12.5. Long may she wave.
And that "delicious garlicky potato-ham soup" has me thinking autumn soup thoughts. We're officially into fall now, after all.
My mom had a long and varied career as a nurse (ER, hospital med-surg, dr.'s office, teaching) but her two favorites were obstetrics and hospice nursing. She says that she really liked being able to support patients and their families through life's big transitions. I bet that would suit Kristen too.
I think you would make an excellent hospice nurse. It takes a special sort for such a special role.
Kristen, I’ve been reading your blog for at least 15 years, but don’t often post a comment. I really wanted to reply to your comments about being honored to care for people and families at the end of life - I’ve been a palliative care RN since last November (before that I worked in dialysis for 10 years), and I feel much the same way. It is a privilege to sit with people and help them understand what is important to them, and help them have more good days than bad ones. It is beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time, and has certainly carried over into my own life (I don’t sweat the small stuff as much anymore!). If you ever have the opportunity to work in palliative care or hospice, I’d encourage you to consider it.
Aww, that's lovely to hear. Thank you for sharing!
An it may happen to you if you're a hospice nurse. My mother was on hospice care. One stinking blood test crept up two points and the doctor deemed that she no longer qualified. Not only was it distressing to my father, it was distressing to the hospice staff. The hospice nurses plead her case to no avail. Hospice was back for maybe the last couple of days but a family member (PhD in nursing) was our main person.
I am so sorry that happened to your mother! On a technical basis, hospice is supposed to be approved if there's a life expectancy of six months or less, and it can be renewed if a person outlives the original six month expectancy.
Hon, Blessed Be the caregivers! Thank you for honoring the Dead.
I love that picture of Lisey in all her mechanic gear but with her eyeliner just right! It’s awesome.
I am grateful for really amazing weather here. Like unbelievably beautiful. 70s and no humidity and sunny. Also for the time and health to be able to go for a long walk in a state park and enjoy it.
Grateful our state parks are so inexpensive. Only $25 for the whole year.
Grateful to be feeling better after a cold that left me on the couch for a whole day!
Related to the above point, I watched six episodes of Narcos in a row and I will say I am grateful to have that level of entertainment at my fingertips for days when I don’t even have the energy to pick up a book. As miserable as it is to have a fever of 103, Pedro Pascal made it so much better.
Lisey and Zoe have the eyeliner down to a fine art!
Your kind heart will be such a blessing to others in your career. Any place you choose to work will be so fortunate to have you.
Yeah, I know it's Friday, but that doesn't make me any less grateful, so here goes.
Kristen, I had the pleasure of hearing Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in person--while in nursing school! It was either 1969 or '70, but her book hadn't come out yet, and we were not allowed to tape any of her lecture because of that. She actually came to our nursing school, and I think there were lots of people besides us students in attendance. She so impacted my work--I knew about the 5 stages of grief before most of the general public. I always wanted to work hospice after hearing her speak, but it was so new, there were no places around yet. After it became more common, it just paid so poorly, because it's Medicare funded. When I did leave hospital nursing, I took a $5/hr cut in pay to work hospice--that's over $700/month--but I never regretted it. Hospice felt like coming home; like the kind of nursing I was meant to do. But it was the right time of my life, after working over 40 years in various fields of nursing, to end it in hospice.
So yesterday and today I am thankful for:
1. Music. Staying at home as much as I have the past couple of months, you'd think I'd have had more time to listen, but I was usually at the hospital or at rehab, and then when he came home, I needed to be available to hear hubby if he called me, so I couldn't just put on the earbuds and listen. I am so happy to be driving and listening to K-Love again!
2. Long pants again! It's been cool enough that I drug out the jeans yesterday. I do not have the legs for shorts, but it's been too hot not to wear them. Today I got so wet just going to and from the car, I came home, peeled off my wet clothes, and put on a pair of sweatpants and dry t-shirt and I feel so comfy right now.
3. German chocolate cake! Today is our 53rd anniversary, and we had to get out in the deluge because hubby had a haircut scheduled for today--the first once since early June! I drove him there, and on the way back, talking about how we were NOT going out again today, we decided to stop by the local bakery and get some kind of cake to celebrate. Usually, you have to order a German chocolate cake in advance, but they are so popular, the baker has started keeping them on hand, and business being slow today, I was able to grab us one even though it was nearing 3 pm.
4.The Stephen King marathon on TV right now. Got to see the uncut version of The Shining last night, and Cujo is coming on later today. They don't show that one very often.
5. More tomatoes (green ones this time) and a dozen and a half fresh chicken eggs from my BN group. Last night we had meatloaf, black eyed peas, and fried green tomatoes for supper. Why yes, I am from the deep South, thankyouverymuch!
Lisey is so cool! And obviously so are you. I think it is so incredibly important that we treat death with diginity in our society. It's hard to face our own mortality but trying to turn away from the dying is just making it worse. I love how you can see yourself as a hospice nurse.
I've been having a few rough days so I need to practice gratitude. I am grateful for a safe home (no hurricanes, no war) with a really nice bed. For friends who are coming to visit tomorrow. For my clever little pre-schooler. For friendly neighbors that I am getting more and more in touch with (I've been reaching out and it is nice to see people are responding). And for this blog that always give me a peaceful feeling!
Kristen, thank you for sharing these updates. I'm a consistent reader and only occasional commenter but I love hearing from you. Thank you in particular for sharing that palliative care video. It made me tear up, too.