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Since it’s Memorial Day….

I know it’ll be slow around here, due to it being an American holiday.

sunset and flag

Sooo, I didn’t want to put up a Meet a Reader post, because then that poor participant might not get a lot of engagement.

And that would be a little bit sad.

Speaking of a little bit sad…this last week, a truck came to pick up Lisey’s car for shipping to Hawaii.

car behind a trailer.

I did not anticipate that this would make me sad, and I really was fine the whole time I was chatting with the guy and signing papers.

But once the truck drove away and I came back inside, I surprised myself by bursting into tears.

car on trailer.

It’s not that I’m particularly attached to that car; I think it was more that it really brought home the stark reality that Lisey is leaving.

The car doesn’t matter; it’s that the car comes with Lisey.

I thought back over this last bonus year with Lisey…how every day I’d see her car pull into the driveway, and then her chaotic self would walk into the house. I will miss that.

I know she will be ok.

I know I will be ok.

I know that this is how life is supposed to go; I do really want her to launch into her own adult life!

Lisey with purple hair.

But you know how I get those waves of sadness over the trauma from my marriage, and how I just have to cry through those?

I think this is a little like that; I will have some waves of sadness over Lisey leaving, and I will just have to cry through the waves.

But also! I have some cheering thoughts to return to as well.


This last year was a bonus of having Lisey around! I didn’t think she’d ever live with me again once she left for school. Having her here from ages 21-22 is an extra blessing that not everyone gets…often kids are off at college at that point.

Kristen and Lisey in a selfie.

It is a blessing that I left my marriage when I did; otherwise, Lisey would not have moved back home. I am so grateful she wanted to be here with me!

She has done a very impressive job of getting herself into a solid career with a very good pay level. I am so proud of how she has managed to pull this off over the course of a number of very challenging years.

Lisey standing next to a small airplane.

She was 17 the first time I left my marriage (midway through 2018) and the years following have been full of all sorts of personal chaos. But she hung in there and kept pursuing her dreams, and that’s very impressive.

She’s getting to have a serious adventure! She’s moving to an island in the ocean, and I am delighted for her.

She’s leaving on good terms with me. I love her, and she loves me. The distance between us will not change that fact.

LIsey and Kristen

She’s still going to need me, just in different ways. And thanks to technology, I can offer her support and a listening ear from over here. 🙂

In the year that she lived away at school, we still talked almost every day, whether it was texting, Facetime, or phone calls. We will have to navigate a time difference now, but I know we will make it work. 🙂

(I think I’ve told you before that in her phone, she has my first name as “Mom” and my last name as “hellllllp” because I am who she calls when she needs to vent or get advice or be calmed down. It makes me happy to know that she knows she can depend on me to be there for her, even though she IS a very independent person.)

Kristen and Lisey

You know that post I wrote back in 2021, when Lisey left for school originally?

I said something like, “There was beauty then. There is beauty now. And there will be beauty in the future.”

Black and white photo of Kristen and preschool Lisey in a swimming pool.

Lisey and me in 2004. Her dimple! So cute.

There are all sorts of ways to have a beautiful relationship with Lisey, and this new phase we are moving into will be beautiful in its own way.

Our relationship will change and shift, but that is ok. It’s how it is supposed to be! It has always been changing and shifting, and it will continue to do so as long as we both live.

I just need to stay flexible with the shifts and trust that there will be beautiful and good things in every shift.

Lisey and Kristen at the pool.

This is the best kind of leaving a parent can hope for; the kind where a child is leaving for a positive reason, and on good terms. There’s no better way I could write this story.

But when she flies out on Wednesday: I AM STILL GOING TO CRY. 😉

Hmm. I had a lot more to say about this than I thought! That happens frequently when I sit down at my keyboard.

Thank you for reading. And we’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming around here tomorrow.

P.S. In case there are questions: her employer is paying to ship her car and motorcycle over. It’s so expensive to ship vehicles, it would not be worth it for Lisey to pay for it! But since it’s free for her, she opted to ship them. That way she has immediate transportation lined up once she moves there.

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Kathy Lipschutz

Wednesday 31st of May 2023

I feel that grief and it's debilitating but I get through it. My child (Marissa) met her amazing wife, Valeksa during COVID. The traveled back and forth to NYC and Columbus, Ohio taking classes online. Not only have a gained an amazing daughter I have and continue to heal and watch my trans child thrive and finding their place in the world. They depart to Germany - Valeksa in June and Marissa in July. My heart is shattered AND I so happy and excited for their schooling. Valeksa is in a 3 year program to train as an Executive Chef and Marissa is attending University to get the Diploma in Sound Engineering. Have you heard of "Be-Real" feature in tik-tok? Every day at same time (you establish the time with her) you can take a photo of what you are doing and where you are at and comment.

I LOVE IT - hope to continue and looking into long distance options as well. Thank you for sharing this - my dear friend showed me your blog - hugs to Martha.

Good luck!


Wednesday 31st of May 2023

I feel you on this. My son and daughter just graduated from college, and it feels as bittersweet to me as when we dropped them off for college. I wasn’t expecting it to hit like it has as this is what’s supposed to happen and they are doing great! Upon reflection, it is the transition to a new life phase where they won’t have lengthy breaks when we generally saw them that is giving me the feels. I can probably expect them at the major holidays until they get serious with a significant other, but given the limited vacation time they are likely getting with their adult jobs, that might be it! Yes we can visit them and perhaps one of them will have a job where they could work remotely for a week, but it will definitely look different. ❤️ thanks be for modern technology for sure! Congratulations to Lisey and thanks for the unexpected solidarity/pep talk!


Wednesday 31st of May 2023

my best friend is moving out west. plane ride far. we've lived near each other for the last 18 years. these words and thoughts are so helpful for me. thank you <3

Kim from Philadelphia

Tuesday 30th of May 2023

So beautifully said, Kristen! I git pretty teared up when I read it. Godspeed, Lisey- and blessings to you as well, momma!


Tuesday 30th of May 2023

I absolutely feel for you and understand what you're going through. My youngest daughter moved home for all of 2019 - she had been teaching English in Korea before that - and then moved at the end of the year to Australia. There was very strict lockdown there so we didn't see her for all of 2020 and until Christmas of 2021. She has come home the last two Christmas holidays so we have scheduled a trip later this year because it's our turn. Thank goodness for Facetime, Skype, What's App and all the other communication options! (If I had to wait for a letter and not see her face, I think I wouldn't make it) I'm absolutely thrilled for my daughter and her new life - she has thrived in Sydney. And I try very hard to concentrate on that. Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad or worried sometimes. Best of Luck to Lisey! I think you can both do it! I hope she thrives in Hawaii- and I hope you get to visit her!

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