On Right-Size Buying (plus, 3 questions to ask before you buy)
Last week, I was filling out a set of interview questions (the emailed sort, which are my favorite. So much easier to answer written questions than ones asked on the fly!).
One question wondered what financial mistakes I see Americans making, and my initial thought was that we just buy too much stuff.
It seems like a lot of us are spending money to buy more stuff than we can possibly love and use, and this makes me feel a little sad.
It's one thing to spend money on an item that brings you a lot of joy and quite another to be suffocated by possessions that aren't even making you happy.
But on the other hand, I'm not exactly a minimalist, and I don't really think we all need to become minimalists.
As I was putting my thoughts together for the interview, I realized that what I feel really strongly about is what you might call right-size buying.
(I don't think that's an official term. I sort of just made it up. Bloggers' prerogative and all that. 😉 )
Basically, I believe we should think harder about what's right for our needs and that we should buy/own whatever is the right size/amount for our needs.
For the vast majority of Americans, that probably means a reduction in buying, but it doesn't necessarily mean owning only 100 items or anything like that.
Two years ago, I wrote about how to figure out how much stuff you need. I realize now that post really was about right-size buying.
If you have more clothes than you can regularly wear, you should probably stop buying so many.
If your kids have more toys than they can possibly play with, you're probably buying too many.
If some kitchen items are covered in dust, you probably have too many.
If you haven't used the stuff in your storage unit for years, maybe you have too much.
But.
I really, really don't think that a journey to right-size buying/living needs to be about deprivation.
Rather, owning the right number of items has the potential to make you happier.
(Unused, unneeded stuff doesn't tend to bring happiness, after all!).
You're not going to be sad if your closet stops being full of unworn clothes, right?
You're not going to miss unplayed-with toys.
You're not going to cry when your kitchen cabinets hold only your regularly used items.
Wouldn't it be better to get rid of what you don't use, stop buying stuff you're not going to use, and have a life filled with only the things you really want/need?
Editing out the unused stuff (and avoiding bringing more of it in) makes for a much more pleasant space.
3 Questions to Ask Before You Buy
To help me be a right-size buyer, here are a few things I ask myself when I'm considering a purchase.
(These questions also work pretty well for decluttering purposes!)
1) Will I really love this?
If I'm feeling meh about it, I try not to buy it. If I only buy stuff I really love, I'm less prone to buying more than I need.
I think that's because stuff I love is more satisfying.
2) Is this going to last?
Stuff that wears out quickly is a waste of money and contributes to overbuying/clutter.
Better to buy two good t-shirts that last than 10 that shrink/twist. Better to buy a few pots that last than a big cheap set that warps.
(Kind of like asking "Could this be an heirloom someday?")
Related: If it's a toy, ask if the fun will last. A unitasker toy will become unused clutter faster than a bin of building blocks.
3) Will I use it/wear it/read it/ regularly? If not, could I rent/borrow this instead of owning it?
I can stream movies, read a library book, borrow a wheelbarrow, or rent a tool to save money and home space.
On the other hand, I'm perfectly happy to own my expensive camera because I use it every day. It's all about figuring out what you will and won't use regularly.
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My house, while huge compared to what much of the rest of the world lives in, is on the smallish side of average for an American home* and I am way, way happier when it just holds things we regularly use.
(*We don't have oodles of extra space, which probably means it's the right size house for us!)
___________________
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you figure out what right-size buying looks like for you? And what questions do you ask yourself before you buy?
When buying a new item I try to divide the cost per use and see if I would still want it. If is is a dress for $25, but I think I would only have occasion to wear it five times, I think is this something I want to spend five dollars per wear on? For a formal dress the answer is yes. For a casual dress no. Expensive items that are used frequently end up costing less per use than cheap things I won't wear or use often.
I also try very hard not to buy more than we need. One reason I buy clothes at Goodwill is because no matter how hard I try, when I buy clothes there is always something I don't end up wearing as often as I should to justify it taking up space. If I know I only paid $2 for it I am much more likely to quickly edit and donate the pieces I don't love. I would hem and haw much more over something for which I paid $50.
I think I'm having trouble working out the difference between things we need right now or might need them later. Eli and I are still just settling into our first home, and a lot of what we have are donations to us. We feel a bit bad about trading things away, especially if the person who gave it to us might want to know where it is.
I think it makes sense to keep things you're pretty sure you'll need in the future.
BUT. I don't think you have to hang onto hand-me-down items just because someone gave it to you. If you don't need it, pass it on to someone who does!
(And hopefully the people who gave you the hand-me-downs will be happy that someone is using their stuff!)
#3 got me thinking if maybe American individualism is part of the reason for our over-consumption. I think many of us are raised to think being self-sufficient is always best, and we see relying on others as weakness. So we'd rather buy a tool we're only going to use once a year than ask a neighbor if we can borrow theirs, or buy a whole container of a spice we just need 1/2 tsp of for one recipe we will likely never made again rather than see if our neighbor has any and will give it to us, or to buy our kids a pair of winter boots they'll wear a dozen times rather than ask a friend with older kids if she has a pair in that size hanging around. And many times we may be so isolated that we don't even know our neighbors well enough to ask these things.
When you have a really individualistic society, it does seem like everybody is going to end up stockpiling everything they might need, and that ends up being pretty inefficient.
I definitely grew up in an "every family for itself" suburb, and when we moved to a more community-minded neighborhood in a city, it was a bit surprising at first. Neighbors would come by and ask if I had a teaspoon of cream of tartar to give them, or if they could borrow our bike pump, or if any of our kids had outgrown size 10 shoes. And, they would also come over to my house with bags of clothes their kids had outgrown and half-full packets of seeds that they weren't going to use and other things they thought our family could use. Once I got used to it, I realized that in many ways it's just a much more sensible way to live.
I agree with you about the individualism we live in. That said, I live well with this. I would not appreciate if a neighbor or a friend came by all the time to borrow stuff, I would find it very annoying and inappropriate. So I am one that will buy something instead of borrowing, because I do not want to be perceived as the annoying one... It's a different perspective, that's all.
True, but if our culture in general was more prone to borrowing/asking, you probably would feel a bit more comfortable with it, you know? We just aren't used to asking or being asked, I think!
You're probably right. I also come from a family very "each her own", which doesn't help...
But there's a big difference between being the neighborhood mooch and having a generous spirit that shares and shares alike.
@Lori, 100% agree ! Here in Australia the indigenous culture is much more about sharing, and it makes so much environmental sense. Power tools, in particular, are expensive, useful, and infrequently used. How good it is to borrow someone’s drill, knowing they will, for sure, borrow my ladder at some point!
@Lori, I find that our neighbourhood group on facebook, and our buy nothing group on the same platform is a wonderful way to share. Folks ask for things they need. Other folks post things that they are happy to pass along. It helps the community members to get to know each other a little better, it keeps things from the landfill, people are blessed with things they perhaps cannot afford, and others are happy knowing that the items they no longer need are going to where they are appreciated and needed.
#3 is insanely difficult if you are into anything obscure or niche. I just did a search on my local library of all the stuff I've been watching for the last few weeks. None are available. Hulu is nice for Criterion items, though I will still buy some of those. Anime is hit or miss on streaming sites. Some incredibly obscure stuff is available to stream but a lot is disc only. Plus, I'm sort of a physical media guy too. 😛
Right now with a baby on the way we're definitely looking at the number of items we have and paring down what we don't need. Unfortunately I have a bad habit of wanting to repurpose and reuse everything so a lot of stuff never hits the donate/sell/toss bins. I'm working on it, though!
I understand your situation -- I made essentially the same point below, but about obscure/niche tools. 🙂
@Battra92, Me, too -- very hard to get rid of stuff -- I might need it, right? Also working on this and congrats on a new baby! :
I understand and agree with many of your points but so many blogs that are subscribed to have become an unending infomercial. Many bloggers seem to have become telemarketers and their blogs are merely crafted around the idea of selling their readers more and more stuff. What used to be a platform to share a bloggers thoughts or ideas have now in many cases become a QVC/ Amazon (I have no quarrel with Amazon as I shop their site) experience for the reader. For the reasons above I no longer subscribe to many blogs as I don't appreciate being called by a telemarketer at dinner time nor would I invite one into my in box.
I don't like blogs that read like an infomercial either. I mean, I do understand the need to pay the bills, but I like there to be a good balance of unsponsored content to go along with sponsored content.
It's a tricky balancing act as a blogger, I know...to be authentic and helpful to your readers but also say yes to some opportunities that help to pay for the time and expenses a blog requires.
I appreciate this about your blog. You do have ads and such, but they do not overwhelm your content. It's classy blogging, in my opinion.
I'm so glad that it feels that way to you. It's a tough path to navigate, and I really do try to be authentic in what I write and promote, whether it's paid or not.
@Jody S., I couldn't agree more. There is a great balance @Kristen, so I'll become a regular. I'm sick of the constant flashing ads or videos when I'm trying to learn.
One more question to ask. Where would I store this? I need to remember to ask this one, as I can often justify a purchase for other reasons, but then realize I don't have a place to put it. I try really hard now to remember to ask that question 🙂 Thanks for the post.
I never thought about , but this is something I've done for years. I think it was one of the things that would stress me out about Christmas. A sudden influx of stuff I had to decide what to do with.
Yes. Such a pertinent question when you are dealing with a somewhat limited space.
I do that with new decorations - if I don't know where I'd put it, then I should think carefully about buying it. I failed recently on this when I took several glass-working classes at Corning. Nonetheless it was fun and I would do the same thing again.
"Will I use it/wear it/read it/ regularly? If not, could I rent/borrow this instead of owning it?
"I can... rent a tool to save money and home space."
That's great for common tools for common household tasks, and I also rent when I need high-end photo gear that I'd rarely use but need for a particular project (e.g. L-glass for a macro shoot).
However, I go against this when I have a need for rarely-used uncommon tools that are near-necessities for uncommon tasks. I do my own car maintenance & modification on my four cars and there are specialty tools made for certain systems (brakes, fuel, wiring, etc.) or certain makes/models that make the job far quicker, far less frustrating, and which are not possible to rent locally. Additionally, these specialty tools can actually save you money by ensuring the part or your vehicle is not damaged during the maintenance or modification, thus forcing you to buy another part and/or extending the time the vehicle is down.
Yeah, I realize that having four cars for one person is an issue in and of itself, but that's another discussion. I will say, though, that I haven't had a car payment in 21 years and my expenses for all four are less than what I know some folks are paying on just one car. 🙂
I think the tool purchases you're referring to make a lot of sense to buy!
And yep, renting specialty photo gear is super smart. Kind of like renting a fancy gown that you only need to wear one time.
I have only one thing to add to this conversation, which is that we are 12 miles from any town and 35 miles from a pretty good sized town and 80-plus miles from, say, a large retail Sears. Yep, I do shop on Amazon with Prime. But I also save a bunch of things that I don't really use all that often just so I don't have to go someplace to get them. A quarter sheet of posterboard, for instance. Cheap, easily discarded, but darn hard to come by when you don't have an hour and a half to spend (oh, and the fuel) to go get it.
This is one of the reasons I have mixed emotions about Costco. I love the bulk-buying and prices on certain things (coffee, organic eggs, snack stuff, etc.) but inevitably it leads to overbuying on some items. The price per use is still lower even if we don't use all of it, but there's waste, and I think that's partly why I always feel a little meh while shopping there.
It IS great for things that don't tend to expire, though. Frozen fruit, yeast, and vanilla are some of my faves from Costco. But I do remember that in the days when we had a smaller family, things like the big fresh produce packs were no good for us. Too much food to get through before it went bad!
It is not inevitable if you don't overbuy. I put a Master Costco List on my phone. I make an "X" next to the items I intend to purchase before I shop. When I'm in the store, I stick to my list and avoid the center section completely. It works really well. The three questions apply at Costco as much as anywhere else.
Sometimes a bulk deal is too good to pass up. You know, when it actually costs less in total to buy more at Costco than a smaller quantity elsewhere. In those cases, I buy and split or share with my friends and neighbors.
It took me a little while to be serious of being contented with what we have.Reading blogs about simple/frugal living is very helpful.For a bargain hunter like me,I buy whatever I find cute and cheap regardless the girls need them or not.I made this "less experiment" where we started downsizing some stuffs like clothes,shoes,toys,number of dinner plates,etc.It's priceless not to be overwhelmed with so much stuffs.
And sometimes the answer will surprise you. My "right-sized" number of place settings is 20 despite my small household. See: plates break and I want a matched set, and don't want to have to wash dishes every day. (Ahem.) Further, if I bought right then I'd get three different discounts. My 20 sets cost less than 10 at full price. And I have the storage space.
Now I'm set for about the next 20 years and this pleases me.
That's exactly what I'm talking about...figuring out what is the right size for you. You use 20 place settings on a regular basis, so that's right for you. And your 20 place settings bring you joy every time don't have to wash dishes. 😉
Me again. I have little difficulty in buying the right amount. The trouble I face is getting rid of what we already have (roommate is guilty also). Perhaps because I have the storage space and roommate is a tinkerer, it's hard to get rid of something that might be usable later.
To me, this blog is a perfect description of minimalism: owning the right amount of the right things to make your life the best it can be. It's not about a number.
People today misunderstand minimalism just the way so many misunderstand feminism. They say things like, "I'm not a feminist but I believe in equal pay for equal work." That, my dear, is feminism.
And believing you should only own those things that improve your life is minimalism no matter how many things you include.
I really like the term "right-size buying". I think it really captures how I am trying to live my life. For example, we live in a smaller-than-average sized 3 bedroom home, 1 bathroom, single garage. Really it is considered a "starter" home rather than a "family" home, however we intend to keep it as our family home for many years to come. Okay so we won't have a spare room on 3 to 5 nights a year a guest stays. We won't have a "play room" for the kids. But we also won't have a mortgage for nearly as long, I won't spend nearly so many hours cleaning, I won't feel the need to fill the excess space with loads of stuff and I won't have to return to the paid workforce for purely financial reasons.
The Swedes actually have a word for right-sizing: lagom. The Lexin Swedish-English dictionary defines lagom as "enough, sufficient, adequate, just right".
Hope you like that as much as I do!
I do!
@Katie, my uncle named his boat Lagom! It was just right for him! 🙂
I try to monitor my inner dialog when I'm shopping. If I notice myself having to talk myself into a purchase then I just don't buy it. Doesn't matter how rare or cheap it is. It's amazing how this cuts down on needless purchases for me!
A right size life....I love the concept! Thank you.
I live in a ranch house that was built in 1952, so I am trying to live like it is 1952! The house is only 1290 square feet (original kitchen, living room/dining room, 3 bedrooms and 1 (original) bath). I have two boys, ages 15 and 12. We do have a partially finished basement which gives us another 400-500 feet of "boy cave" space for xbox and tv. But, upstairs, the bedroom and hall closets are small and the kitchen cabinets are very basic at best. I just don't have a lot in there. For instance, I have no "good" dishes, no stand up mixer, nothing that is not fairly necessary, no fancy gadgets etc, and believe it or not, we have no pantry (I say this because I have to laugh at how many blog posts are devoted to pantries! We just keep our food in one of the regular old kitchen upper cabinets). We live just outside of Boston and I don't dislike food shopping so I can easily pick things up once or twice a week at our local Trader Joes or other store, or farm stand as necessary.
Enjoy your blog!
I don't have a pantry either! I really miss that about my townhouse. Like you, I limit the amount of kitchen equipment I own so that I can keep some food in my kitchen cabinets.
I totally LOVE this idea. I have a bit of a pet peeve with minimalists in that I just don't believe that having less of everything is always the best approach - for me, at least. Dishes and bike clothes are the ones that come to mind. I own WAY more of these things than I can use at once, but for me the issue is having enough to make it through until there's enough dirty clothes or dishes to do a load. This is probably not an issue for people with big families, but for me, it takes a LOOOONG time to fill up my super capacity washing machine - and forget separating things by color. If I did that it would take me months! Part of me thinks it's crazy to own so many duplicates, but it's so much easier than having to wash things by hand because I ran out again.
This and your "how to know how much to buy" are one of the best blog posts I've read in a long time. I've never had a big-by-today's-standards house or several closets full of clothes but last year I discovered minimalism (late to the party, I know!) & suddenly I was purging all our closets, cabinets, & drawers. I still practice the one in, one out rule. It feels great. And it feels done. While we still own many, many more things than the minimalist bloggers, we use them. My husband and I finished raising our two kids in this not quite 1500 square foot house (our previous homes were even smaller) & now that they've grown up & moved out, we feel like we have plenty of room. Extreme minimalism has a certain appeal and I still subscribe to the blogs, but I know it's not practical to my real & actual life. What you describe in this post is just right!
I like that term! I can relate to the concept of minimalism, but at the same time I'm a hoarder of sorts. As in: I keep all kinds of little things that would otherwise be thrown away. They're all well organized and easy to find when I want to DIY something, which usually saves both money and time. And while I've read blogs in which minimalists indicate paring down their clothing to just one week's worth per season or something like that, I've found that for me it works best to know I have more clothes than I need - it saves me time, money and stress, since I'm particular about what I wear. Knowing I have sufficient options on hand means that clothing is one thing I don't have to worry about.
#2 is so true. I often have to explain to my friends that "frugal" doesn't equal cheap!
@Tim,
I do too! We live in a smallish (for Southern California) 90 year old house. We love all of the quirks and character of the house. My SUV is from 2007- we would never buy such a big car again (the price of gas!) but both kids are about to learn to drive and we'd rather they put the dings on an old car than dent something newer. My husband's commuter car is all electric and he bought pre-owned. His dad was a car salesman for decades and would never buy new.
I'm sure some friends think we are cheap or don't have enough money but I love old houses, love repurposing things, don't care too much about clothes or jewelry- what I do have is good quality. We spend our money along our value lines- really excellent food, good wine, travel, education and things you can't see- like VOC-free paint, air purifiers, energy efficient upgrades to our old house. In a town where bigger is better, newer is nicer and cars are all leased, we definitely sometimes feel like outliers. It seems silly to us to spend money on things we can do for ourselves and we like to have healthy rainy day and retirement funds.
@Tim,
Here, Here! Cannot be stated enough!
@MB,
I couldn't agree more! We live in SoCal, too, in a tiny 1950s ranch that sounds a lot like yours -- and it is fine! I work in a wealthier valley and folks drive BIG and live BIG in brand new McMansions and that is fine -- to each their own! But this is a tough town when it comes to conspicuous consumption -- I love your emphasis on spending $$ on the things that are valuable to YOU. Kudos!
@priskill,
I agree with "to each their own" and try not to judge (emphasis on the try;)) other people's choices as I don't like them judging mine. Conspicuous consumption was toughest when the kids were little and we were teaching them our values. Now that they are teens they understand and are on board. They love a good bargain and on the plus side, SoCal has many ways to buy used, vintage, sale, etc.
This popped up today (Saturday 4 September 2021); I recognized it as an old post but I don't see a date. Where is the date, in this new layout?
@WilliamB,
The date is September 4, 2021, and I found it just below the pictures of other posts, before the comments start.
🙂
@Ingrid, This is a repost, the original is from June 2015. I'm just hoping not to have to scroll down to the comments to figure that out.
Ok, so, the latest update put some of that info at the bottom of the post, not at the top. But I think I fixed it! Does it look right to you now?
In the future, you can assume that a post on Saturdays is a republish; I'm using that day to re-up some of my updated posts from the archives.
@Kristen, I like that idea.
@Kristen, looks great. I like seeing the date on top. Thanks! I think the idea of a Repost Saturday is quite useful.
Can we afford it? This will help even if its something you really want. This has changed my mind plenty of times in the last few years especially.
Like some others have said I try to work out if I will use something to warrant the cost. I also want things to be less harmful to the planet. That slows me down but I still fail. I make most of my own skirts out of cotton and then team them with organic cotton tee shirts. I wear these far longer than others would do. I grew up hating all parts of clothing production, especially being stuck with pins. My childhood clothing was very frugal.
Currently my eldest granddaughter asks, "Is this Mia size?". If it is no she doesn't want the item. I love it. At three she has begun to sort out some priorities.
Before I bought a new kettle ( hand me down I was given 8 years ago died!) I realised I used it twice a day to make tea. That was it! So now I use my microwave! Tastes a little odd (?) , but I’m getting used to it! I have a serious case of pantry envy, beautiful square/rectangular space saving, matching containers, but I have a large assortment of usable odds and ends, and I feel at least partly responsible for leaving my grandchildren a liveable planet. My best value meat option is prepacked, so I count the chops/ pieces, 1kilo in 5 pieces is a better buy than I kilo in 4 pieces. Semi frozen boneless beef can be sliced almost bacon thin, great for steak sandwiches and stir fries.sausages can be cut in pennies, ground beef can be stretched with lentils, powdered milk used in cooking.Most important of all, what needs to be eaten today?Over a period of time I had drifted, instead, into the habit of deciding what I felt like eating, which resulted in food waste.
If kids leave food on plates, serve a spoonful less next time, a child’s stomach is about the size of its fist, so that’s a useful portion guide. By all means, give more if they ask for it, but keep initial serves modest.Try home brands, most are fine, and much cheaper, but Heinz Big Red Tomato Soup hasn’t been matched yet, in my experience, and I don’t compromise on taste!!I look forward to other frugal ideas, sharing adds to our knowledge, and to our bank accounts!!
@Coral Clarke, I would buy a new kettle if I used it twice a day! Many people only use them twice a year. My husband enjoys pour over coffee so we use a kettle daily.
I love this concept! I went into a purchasing freeze since COVID. I don't love shopping Amazon so that wasn't too tempting. Clothing-wise, I lost weight and have been shopping my closet (except for a couple undergarments, pair of leggings, sandals for me barking dogs, and a t-shirt that supports and donates money to Down Syndrome causes).
It is so clear that I really have TOO much stuff -- too many things in too many sizes -- many never or barely worn. It is kind of a joke at work -- I pulled out a light madras shirt ( handed down to me 20 years ago from my daughter's best friend's grandmother-- thanks, Marilyn!) that I could finally fit into. "Oh, did you go shopping in your closet? I love it!" said one of my colleagues. It kind of makes me happy. 🙂
I still love to browse I am sure I will buy more stuff eventually but only when I really need to. I hope I can maintain this going forward;)
@priskill,
Oops, forgot my main point, which is that I am a packrat of sorts and it is really hard for me to say bye-bye to stuff -- I might need or want it, right? So I stopped buying books, even cheap ones at the library sale, because there's a whole stinkin' library full of them and I can keep my books there. For free. And No Tchotkes (hmmm, spelling?) and definitely stay out of Thrift stores (that's just me -- I cannot be trusted).
So being full up with stuff helps me to withstand the lure of cheap or even free stuff. Sometimes. 😉
I am one person who always lived in tiny apartments in Manhattan. They were in "great" neighborhoods; people envied me. But I didn't have a washing machine/dryer and dishwasher. After 9/11 I needed a change. But I couldn't leave for 7 years--family matters.
I bought and lives in a 1400 square foot house. Sounds wasteful. But the house is 5 blocks from the ocean and in normal times I have lots of company. Don't want people here now as we're one of the most hit areas of the pandemic.
Had I stayed in Manhattan I might have been dead now. Maybe maybe not. But I would have felt closed in and scared. Because I have some lung issues I can only wear masks for a limited amount of time--that's not an excuse, I'm triple vaccinated and would do anything to help end this.
My house has two stories, an upstairs deck, small porch and a yard that needs constant work. It's in a court and we're all friends--so until I started freaking and literally counting the number of people my neighbors saw (before vaccines) I had people to hang with outdoors.
What sounds like a wasteful luxury turned into a lifesaver. There are a number of other single women homeowners here. Yes we can move in together but we're the independent sort. I'm getting older and hope I can remain independent.
Thanks to Instacart, doordash and Goldbelly's (for my birthdays since the pandemic and Jewish holidays) I eat very well. I also cook much more than I could possibly cook in NY where I could never figure it if I had a kitchen off a hallway or a foyer that had a tiny tiny kitchen on one side.
I know I buy too many things from Amazon. Or do I? In October 2019 I woke up one morning with a burning burning desire to shake up my life. I have many Visa/Marriott points and happened to get an email that day with cruises on sale.
Three weeks later I found myself on a cruise to the Panama Canal--cruising with a purpose, it felt like. I ended up with a balcony room for what seemed and seems very cheap--wait until just before a cruise, make reservations online then call. The balcony room cost less than a porthole room! Who would have suspected? And who would have known that a pandemic was on the way--and I still haven't seen my family & most friends because we all live in hot spots or are being very cautious.
I watched way too many youtube videos on what to bring on a cruise as i had never been on a long cruise before nor had I been on a cruise alone. They all harped on sanitation. I bought way too many sanitation items. Really are you going to bring Clorox cleaning spray (yes) and so many other things? I left two thirds of the things home.
It wasn't hoarding. It was just a heck of a lot of cleaning supplies--I happened to read that the most hoarded items (I'm a therapist by profession) are cleaning supplies as everyone wants to start off by cleaning. Doesn't usually work.
Anyway I was able to give people in town who suddenly found themselves out of a paycheck things to clean with. We were out of everything and they desperately needed--everything.
I will never regret those purchases and it's so much easier to give people things they need than money which they wouldn't take unless desperate.
Because I live in a hurricane/flooding prone town I always keep new sheets a comforter and stuff like that in a plastic bag so I can give them to people who need things. You can get sheets for cheap and they're nice--I would never give people things I wouldn't use.
I keep canned foods for the same reason. Socks--socks are always needed.
I'm not rich nor am I an especially good person. I just think that if I can afford a house (my taxes are a joke; my 3 types of home insurance a joke to somebody else) I can afford to help when needed.
I can't remember when I saw my first bag person but I was very young. I learned that many people want basics more than they want money. Some stores won't let them in.
I have a disability, nonverbal learning disorder (NLD,NVLD) that doesn't let me see space correctly. Because of that it's hard for me to fill a fridge properly and yes I have food waste though I'm much better. It's hard for me to organize many things--though I'm great at organizing people! This has led people to think I hoard because I put things back with care but not properly. Please don't judge. I've spent a lifetime judging myself harshly for being so imperfect. (I've learned; I also have a cleaning woman who I gave up for months during what we thought was the height of the pandemic. Now she has Covid but is vaccinated.)
So sometimes when you see too many things out or not placed well or too close to an edge (I've gotten better) don't judge. I didn't know about NLD until I was 56 though I had spent a lifetime searching for answers--hence going to grad school to be a licensed social worker. I'm also adopted so my life was one constant search.
My first apartment in Manhattan was beautiful but old and not renovated. It was in a part of Manhattan where the nearest laundromat was half a mile away, and I was too young and poor to use laundry services which were much more expensive then. We didn't even have all purpose stores or groceries until Korean grocery stores opened a few blocks away. I always had too much. I had no idea how to organize. It wasn't a parental failing--because of my disability I just couldn't do things right in that apartment though I had some of the best times of my life there.
Sadly this pandemic hasn't taught many people to be better people. They would rather caste blame and judge.
I'm sorry for the length but I want people to understand that sometimes having "too much" isn't a bad thing--my overstocking helped many people. But many times having too much is also because of a lack of organizing ability. I know that some people won't believe that. But think: Do I want to embarrass myself by talking about my biggest weaknesses to people I don't know?
I'm putting this in because The Frugal Girl is my favorite blog--and I started blogging 17 years ago. It used to be a very important part of my life but my organizational problems kept me from making the blog all that it could have been. It did make me search out answers.
I am in awe of all of you who can make meal plans, who can clean out a freezer and actually eat the food in it.
@pia, I really enjoyed reading your post.
@pia,
You have made me think carefully and reminded me, yet again, that the world is wide and full of all kinds of people with all kinds of needs and wants. Thank you for sharing this.
You just described minimalism! It looks different for everyone and every family. The goal of minimalism is to live an intentional life, not own the least amount possible.
I try to think about the maintenance cost of an item: where will it be stored, does it require upkeep costs, how much time am I going to spend caring for the item?
Love this! I think right-size buying is about knowing yourself and your needs, and not just following trends or letting others dictate what "should" go in your home.
Wedding and baby registries are a perfect example of that. There are so many items that show up on those that are either completely unnecessary for most people, or something that it's better to wait to buy later anyway once you actually have the kiddo around and know them a bit better.
But what about inherited stuff? 90% of the stuff in my house, I didn't buy. I'm trying to scale this stuff down, sell it, etc but it just seems like a lot of stuff. I have no interest in keeping most of it.
So, maybe it is not just the buying of your own stuff that is the problem, but also the influx of other people's buying habits or "collections" that are slowly filling up all the empty spaces...
Thank you so much for resharing this post! I am a newer reader of yours (2 years maybe?) and wasn’t around to read this post and the other right size buying one the first time around. I’ve read them both a few times over the past few days and have been reassessing how many things I have and even sorting through them. Something about the way you described “right size buying” finally clicked for me in figuring out how many shirts, measuring cups, pans, etc. I really need.
Thank you so much for this thought provoking post!
Oh, I'm so glad it was helpful. Yay!