My neighborhood: good or bad?
Today, I'm going to start out by telling you all the lovely things about my neighborhood.
The neighborhood I live in borders a river. This land was originally home to summer cottages, and now it's an eclectic mix of smaller houses with lots of newer, beautiful homes on the waterfront.
The streets are wide, with plenty of driving room even when people do on-street parking.
Oak trees tower over most of the neighborhood, with a few evergreens here and there.
Each section of the neighborhood has water access, restricted to the public, but available to neighborhood residents. So, the water-access areas are never crowded.
Our river access point has a community rack to hold our kayaks, and there's a boat ramp that makes it pretty easy to launch our kayaks. There are several grassy areas down there, and wooden picnic tables, plus a little wooden walkway down by the waterfront.
Our river access is near the headwaters; we can kayak almost up to where the river starts. And if we kayak the other way, we can paddle out to more open water.
One of the water-access areas here is a lovely little path through the woods, which ends at a small area right on the river's edge with a little bench where you can sit and take in the view.
A few blocks down from my house is a field where two horses live. They're friendly, and if you bring carrots or apples, they're happy to come to the fence to get a snack.
And the one will come see you even if you don't show him a carrot!
The people in this neighborhood are generally quiet and peaceful.
My neighborhood has virtually no community fees, and there's no micro-managing that goes on; you can basically do whatever you want with your house as long as it doesn't violate any county laws.
(Which is a far cry from our townhouse community, where we had to submit plans and wait for approval to plant a small shrub in our front border!)
We all have septic tanks, which means we don't have to pay for public sewer.
People love celebrating holidays here, and there are always fireworks on the 4th of July. If we hop into our kayaks, we can paddle out and watch them from the water.
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Let me give you another view.
Our neighborhood has no sidewalks; you have to walk on the street.
There are no curbs, which makes the street look kind of messy. Also, the road drainage is not quite up to par, so after a rainstorm, there's a veritable lake on the road in front of my house.
The houses are all mismatched, and some of them are really ugly.
Since there are no community rules, people sometimes let their houses fall into pretty bad states of repair. The chimney is literally pulling away from one house on my street. Every day when we walk by, I half expect to see it lying on the ground!
The house that goes with the horse field has had Tyvek on it for the whole 15 years we've lived here. They did a small amount of siding about six months ago, but there's been no progress since then.
Seventeen cars, in varying states of repair, dot the front yard of that house.
A tree fell onto their fence, so they just tied the fence up to the stump of a tree to hold the fence up. I imagine it will be that way for 15 years or so. 😉
One time, a renter down the street (possibly high at the time) walked out into the road in nothing but a bedsheet.
Sometimes, fireworks go on for multiple days around holidays (or sometimes even not on holidays) and this was super frustrating when I had little kids who were trying to sleep.
The oak trees drop copious amounts of yellow pollen, then brown oak flowers. In the fall, they dump acorns and leaves. Year-round, they drop small branches and twigs.
Sometimes, the oaks die and then you have to pay hundreds of dollars to have them removed.
The summer mosquitos here are terrible.
Sometimes, the dock and walkways by the river are un-walkable because of the goose poop. And after the rain, the goose poop gets all waterlogged and soggy; even worse!
The grassy areas near the water get water-logged very easily; your shoes can sink right into the ground after a rainstorm.
Our water access is near the headwaters of the river, so sometimes the water is murky and stinky in the summer.
One of the water-access areas is a spot by the river with a cinder block, graffiti-ed retaining wall. The wooden bench is chained into the ground so that it won't get stolen, and sometimes there's trash around the bench.
Having septic tanks is lovely until it's not; if your septic system has a problem, it can quickly result in a $1000 repair bill. And if you have to replace the system? The cost is enormous.
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So. Is this neighborhood wonderful? or terrible?
If you only read the first part of this post, you might be dying to come live in my neighborhood.
And if you only read the second part, you might be like, "Note to self: never buy a house in Kristen's neighborhood!"
But both parts of this post are equally true.
The good and bad are both here
There IS a beautiful field with lovely horses in it. And there is also a half-finished house right next to that.
There IS a beautiful view at the end of that wooded path. And there is also a graffiti-covered cinder block wall there.
This photo is lovely:
And this is the same fence.
Pretending that this neighborhood has only good features would be dishonest.
But acting as though this neighborhood has only bad features would also be dishonest!
It is extremely easy to see what's wrong with our neighborhoods, and anything else in our lives, for that matter.
What is not easy is seeing the good parts.
Seeing the good takes effort
We see the bad parts of everything by default, so if we just let our brains go where they will, that's the view we will usually have: all the bad stuff.
But if we want to have a realistic view, we usually have to make a point of hunting for and noticing the good parts.
So, if you want to have a better attitude about where you live, try making a list of all the upsides. It costs exactly $0, which is a lot cheaper than what it would cost to move somewhere else.
(And besides, whatever place you move to will be a mix of great and not-so-great anyway!)
What are the good and bad parts of where you live? Tell me something not so awesome AND something great.
P.S. Sometimes when I write about this topic, people sometimes are a little worried that I'm telling people to ignore the bad/hard parts of various things in life. I'm not. What I'm saying is that it is extremely unlikely that we will err on the side of giving too little attention to the bad things in our lives.
What is way more likely is that we will give too little attention to the good things. So, my point is that most of us need to do a better job of hunting for the good things.
I love this post! What an amazing perspective! Thank you. Also it was super fun to see so the pictures to go along with the good and the bad.
So true. My street has lots of beautiful trees and lovely neighbours. It also has nowhere to park and is really steep. For me the good definitely outweighs the bad.
Kristen, as I was reading your description of your neighborhood, I realized that you hit on a perfect analogy to many things, including life itself. Jobs, relationships, education, retirement, health - every one of these (and many more things I haven't named) can have both positive and negative aspects. Our attitude toward both will have a huge impact on our quality of life.
We live 30 minutes away from the small city where we shop, dine, see our health care providers and conduct other business. So a quick run into town is an hour roundtrip for us plus time for errands. But our front porch has beautiful mountain views, there's a lovely bike trail a few miles away and I can easily walk to wild forest trails from our home. While I do acknowledge the downsides to rural living, my inclination is to focus on the benefits and make it a point to enjoy every single one. Thanks for a thought provoking post!
Oh, for sure. Everything is a mix of upsides and downsides!
That was a wonderful essay, Kristen. I have realized that I enjoy your blog not just for the content, but for your way of writing (ex-English teacher here.)
I am a 75 year-old grandmother who has lived in her share of places. We have retired in SC because of where our kids and grandkids are, even though it is not what we are used to. On the negative side (so I can conclude positively), it is hot and muggy half the year, and I do not like summer! We have the threat of hurricanes and streets flood regularly here. I am in the local minority on almost every political issue and have to hold back sometimes.
Positive: I LOVE being close to family, we are on the 5th floor and should not get flooded, our bldg. in sturdy and should not be blown away, our kids support us in our ideology and that feels less lonely. Winter is gorgeous, there is a park and dock walking distance, the beaches are very close, we have a view of converging rivers and harbor to die for, and a very charming city is a stone's throw away. Mostly I think I could live in almost any place so long as I had my people. As long as I can answer "Where do you live?" with "With my husband," I think I am good! The kids are a bonus.
@Gail,
Aww I love that!
Aww, that is a nice compliment coming from an English teacher. Thank you!
And yes, I think who you are with is more important than where you are.
The good part about my neighborhood is it is a dead end street with little traffic and most neighbors are the kind who would give you the shirt off their back. Always willing to lend a hand, a tractor or homemade canned salsa! When the power is out we have a whole house gen and our street is all wells so we have water and neighbors don't so we throw our hose over the fence so they have water too. They are such awesome neighbors to us.
The not so good, we now have 3 houses that have yards littered with garbage. Our township does come out to issue notices for them to clean it up, then the cycle repeats its self. In the defense of 1 house pretty certain he is a scrapper so his heart is in the right place but does he need to have 8 microwaves all over his front lawn. And another neighbor who was baiting and shooting bucks out his back door (about 50' from our house) then cut the steaks off the buck and left the rest. The DNR visited but do you know there are NO rules here that say you have to use the meat from the deer, you can kill it and leave it for dead. Huh?!!? I am certain someone would have used that meat.
@Mar, Boo to the neighbor who cherry-picked the deer meat. That kind of thing is very upsetting to me.
@Mar, Here the rules are very strict on taking the meat off a hunt. I had a friend whose only criminal record is that he left behind the testicles of a moose he killed (not kidding). I have no objection to hunting for food, in fact I did that when I was young, but I find it disrespectful to the animal to slaughter it for trophy or wasted food.
The not so awesome part of our neighborhood, especially our house, is that it close to roads that carry a lot of traffic and not that far from a lot of shopping. Sometimes there are police search helicopters (the past two nights but generally not that often) I assume looking for someone that committed a robbery. The shopping environment near us has declined in recent years. The stores are still open and I feel safe shopping there but there is a lot more trash/dirtiness in parking lots. It's an inner suburb that sometimes reminds me of a city.
We have been in our house for over 25 years and the neighborhood has withstood the test of time. Most people stay for a long time, neighbors are well behaved, houses are well maintained. There are a lot of families with school age or younger children but when we moved in it was a lot of empty nesters. Our house backs up to a patch of woods so there is a feeling of nature/privacy. We are not far from shopping, highways, friends, services and can walk to some of them easily.
How true it is about perspective.
Almost everything and everyone has a little bad to go along with all the good.
The things I dislike most about where I live cannot be changed. My little town has grown astronomically in population from about 1,000 to about 36,000 people in 40 years. I miss the way things were. Gone forever are the miles of empty beaches, the beautiful wildlife, the peacefulness, and the view of the night sky. I used to be able to hear the ocean roar when standing in my yard. Now I hear traffic.
Florida had a population of 3.5 million people when I was born 58 years ago, and now it has a population of 21 million with new people coming to the state daily. Florida has a population density higher than New York, California and Texas. So if I want to stay in my home state, there is no where to run to, no place left to hide. I try to remember that with “progress”, some good things have come: mail delivery, more than one grocery store, mosquito control, and drainage
For the most part, I still love where I live. My neighborhood has remained unaffected by the growth. Houses have been painted. Driveways have been replaced. Flowers have been planted, and trees have been trimmed. Yet, it is much the same as it was 22 years ago when I bought my house. Even the neighbors are the same. In an ever-changing world, it is a refuge. It’s not perfect, but it’s home.
@Bee,
You can always come to Northwest Florida in the Big Bend. We still have lots of rural area and small towns but - no waves in our part of the Gulf! You can walk out knee deep for a long way at our local beach.
@JD, I love the Big Bend! We have been over your way many times. It’s true that it still looks very much as it always has. But shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone. Trust me, you don’t want East Coast growth.
@Bee, I can related to your frustration. We’ve lived in Florida for about 10 years now and while we’re not born Floridians, we do call it home now. It’s sad to see how many quick, cheap neighborhoods are popping up and the endless amounts of gas stations and car service centers. How many do we really need?! However, we end each day with the most breathtaking sunsets I’ve ever seen! We regularly send pictures of them to our families who aren’t in this state. Thankfully, no amount of progress is gonna take that away from us.
@Bee, I am your age, and also live in Florida. It has changed so much over my lifetime.
@Bee,
I hear you. My sister spent 33 years on Daytona Beach.
@Haley,
The sunrises and sunsets are beautiful. I also love to see the full moon rise over the water. I head down to the beach and enjoy these special moments when ever possible.
@Lizzy, do you remember the intoxicating smell of the orange blossoms in the spring? There are so few citrus groves now.
Our neighborhood is hilly with many trees which makes it divinely beautiful. And the houses are all fairly new and kept in good shape, in part due to HOA regulations.
Our neighborhood is hilly, which means there are steps up inot almost every home, and pretty noticeable slope on driveways, which is not wheelchair friendly (for our son). HOA regulations means that keeping the yard and garden beds tidy has to be a big priority to avoid mostly-friendly HOA notices that we need to shape up.
The good can be the not so great.
What a timely post! My husband and I are horribly anxious to move out of the area where we live, but your point in seeing the positive is vital. So here goes:
For the positive, our town is close enough to see rocket launches, and our glass doors rattle after a launch (which always tickles me). It's exciting to be so close to the action!
Now a negative (well, two). Our town has many unsafe areas and lacks amenities.
As long as the Lord has us here, I need to spend more time looking for the positive!
@Brooke,
Do you live on the Space Coast?
Your horse neighbors would fit right in here. 🙂
They actually remind me of something that is very good about where we live: We can do pretty much whatever we want on our property. Animals, buildings, plantings . . . we don't have to ask permission from anyone. HOAs are anathema to me.
Also, our property taxes are less than a tenth of what they were in New York, which fills me with gratitude every year when we pay our amusingly tiny tax bill.
In the less-positive side of the ledger . . . water problems are really OUR problems, because our "municipal" system is really just us and one other family. So when the pressure is down to nothing, off I trudge to the well house (1/2 mile away) to turn on the pump. Sometimes you get what you pay for with property taxes.
And, of course, our distance from any commercial center is sometimes very incovenient. Driving 90 miles to get to a hardware store (or anything else) is frustrating at times.
@kristin @ going country,
"Driving 90 miles to get to a hardware store (or anything else) is frustrating at times."
This is the one thing that I really don't miss about living rural (and even then I wasn't nearly as rural as you are." I had to drive 25 minutes or so to get to anything. You couldn't just "pop out for milk" it was a weekly endeavor to stock up on groceries for the week. And since we lived in an apartment, our storage space was very limited so we couldn't just stock up.
When I saw you mention the septic tank I cringed a little inside because I'm remembering several times when the septic company has been out and left me with a bill of several hundred dollars. It sure does make that sewer fee not seem as bad.
I live in what can best be described as "living on the edge of town." I joke with my wife that we have been somewhat exiled here. We're definitely not city but we aren't quite rural, though we can go rural pretty quickly.
The Good:
Our neighbors are pleasant enough. They are retired and all very nice to our daughter.
We aren't on top of our neighbors and don't have any across the street from us or behind us. I turned down a couple houses my wife was set on because of this.
Unlike a former place we lived, there are no people in the neighborhood (allegedly) selling drugs.
No dogs in the neighborhood.
It's quiet outside of the car noise.
It's a quick five to ten minute drive to most anything you need.
The Bad:
People are friendly enough as I said but I have to bite my tongue a lot as the neighborhood is one way politically and I'm the other way. I don't put out signs in my yard declaring my political beliefs and I do my best to ignore theirs.
Watch out for bears, raccoons, foxes, deer, coyotes, ticks etc. Also rabbits will eat your garden if you aren't careful.
It's not exactly a neighborhood that is conducive to making friends. I mean, I've lived here almost ten years and can't call anyone in the neighborhood a friend. Maybe that says more about me than the neighborhood but still ...
We moved into our new neighborhood and newly built house exactly 29 years ago this month. We are surrounded by woods on 3 sides in north/central Wisconsin and there are more positives than negatives living here. We are about 3 miles from our smallish city where we can get almost anything we need. The best thing is we see wildlife daily-deer, birds, squirrels, fox, and an occasional bear. It is very peaceful here. We walk our neighborhood almost every day in the summer, but it is too cold and icy in the winter. We have wonderful neighbors and love our house. The negatives, besides the long winters, are the distance from any cultural events, major sports venues, larger city shopping, and visiting extended family. Any of those activities require at least a 2 or 3 hour drive. Although I love trips to the beach or mountains, this woodsy neighborhood is home for us. I agree that, as in life, we take the bad with the good, and hopefully focus on the positives.
Isn't this true of life in general? There's usually a balance of good and bad in almost every situation. I think we'll have to wait for heaven to find the perfect life we all want.
1. I have an epic view of the Atlantic Ocean.
2. On one side of my house is a motel. On the other side is a restaurant (which is closed much of the year).
3. My neighbors can be jerks.
4. I'm then kind of a jerk back.
5. Septic, yep.
6. When you live on the ocean, in the windiest town in the state, it can get mighty "brisk" in the winter. Instead of the weather service issuing gale warnings for the town, they might save time and only mention when there isn't a gale warning.
7. There's plenty of deer, bunnies, foxes, and even whales. Sometimes there's a shark.
8. Everything costs way too much in a tourist town.
9. Only one supermarket within 20 minutes' drive. No useful stores like Target or Costco within an hour's drive.
10. It's a small town, so I have to be pleasant to everyone, even the people I don't like, such as the guy at the dog park who is pretty negligent with his dogs.
11. That said, I love it here. It's astonishingly beautiful wherever you go. Even the town dump has a great view. I mean recycling center. Ha.
@Rose, my parents live in a small town like #9. They go out of town a lot to shop.
I really enjoyed reading about the good and bad of everyone’s neighborhoods!
I feel like I have mostly good with my neighborhood. We live a half mile from the beach, with a path going directly to the beach and coastal hiking trails right behind our house. There are several houses around us with kids the same age as my kids and the neighborhood is very fun and active (Halloween parade, 4th of July party, etc) It never gets very hot or very cold here (which is a mix of good and bad for me because I love hot weather but dislike cold weather). It’s safe and mostly clean (no HOA so we also do have a house with 10 cars in the yard and a few other houses in disrepair). It’s also very quiet, which my husband and I really appreciate after living for years on a very busy road with traffic sounds at all times.
On the bad side, the proximity to the coast and the sea air does wreak havoc on anything left outside, grills, children’s bikes all develop rust very quickly and although we don’t have one, others with play structures have said they eventually start to fall apart in the moist air, depending on the material they are made out of. The proximity to the beach and hiking trails does mean it gets very crowded on nice days (and got horribly crowded at the start of lockdown), so there is no street parking on nice days as people visiting the beach come park on our street once the small parking lot gets full. Also, a few times there has been trash left in our yard after a crowded day. We also don’t have any big stores in town (and only one chain of grocery stores that I find too expensive) so I always go to the next town over for any grocery shopping (it’s only 10 minutes away though so not a huge inconvenience)
I forgot to mention the rust and mold from the sea air in my house! Sheesh. I tell myself that living by the ocean is very healthful--I really believe this to be true.
So this is funny: as I read LB's post, I thought, "I wonder if this happens to Rose as well!"
Ha! The funny thing is that the cedar shakes on my house are a hundred years old and solid as a rock. My grandmother's house (now occupied by other people, sob) three doors down has the names and initials of former pupils carved on the shakes from when it was the one-room schoolhouse from 1915-1925. Maybe there are some upsides too?
@Rose,
Oh wow! That is so neat!
@LB,
It sounds like you live in a beautiful little beach town. It is so true maintaining a home close to the ocean can be a costly endeavor. I have replaced my carriage lights three times in 22 years, and I need to again. I really should buy marine grade light fixtures this time. Mold is less of a problem for me but only because I have a super duper HVAC system which runs most of the year. Although this is not frugal, it is a necessity. When you add Florida heat to the salt and the moisture, things have the potential to become a moldy mess.
@Rose, ah and you reminded me of the mold issues I’d forgotten, yes that too!
Although your comment on sea air reminded me of a positive, we don’t get much smoke from wildfires here.
@Bee, yes, worth the beach proximity for sure but lots of extra challenges. We’ve only been here 4 years but already replaced the carriage light once. I can imagine adding heat would really be another tricky element!
I love this post so much! This is so so true in life and your post was a powerful illustration!
This perspective is how I try my best to look at life and everything it gives me.
My neighbourhood is a rural village with nature on my doorstep - in fact my river is only maybe 100 feet from my house, less in spring run off time. It is exceptionally beautiful here and the people so welcoming.
We do have some properties less than ideally maintained and we have septic systems (I'm currently babying my 34 year old system because I do not want to pay upwards of $30,ooo Cdn for a new one). We have pretty high property tax because our township is rural/agricultural and so no big business or industry to the tax base (also population spread out with huge rural road miles and few occupants).
I wouldn't live anywhere else though and it's a special place to raise children.
First time living with an HOA, hence the good and bad parts. The good part is the HOA makes people keep their houses in decent shape and not have cars sitting around or messy lawns and shrubs. The bad part is you need permission for any changes on the outside of the house, including planting new shrubs or painting your house a different color. And they like to have people chop down trees in this neighborhood.
BTW, we do have amazingly great neighbors all around. And the shops are all very close by. I guess I'm just not too happy with having an HOA, but in this part of Florida, most neighborhoods are an HOA. It is our first experience with an HOA, so it is hard to work with!
This is so true about so much of life! I just watched a movie in which one character consistently saw the bad in everything. She made everyone around her uncomfortable or outright unhappy. This is a great post.
The bad where I live: mosquitoes abound here. Since I live outside city limits, spraying is by request only, and then it's simply one small truck wandering slowly down the road in front of my house for one pass.
There is no trash pickup outside city limits, where I live. I have to store my trash all week then load it and any yard waste and construction debris on the weekends into our truck, drive about six miles to a roll-off site, unload my trash/construction debris/yard waste into the correct containers and/or compactor by myself, then drive back home. I have to pay $140 a year, billed with my property taxes so that I have to pay it no matter what, for the privilege of using a county roll-off site. There is no place else for me to take my trash unless I irresponsibly dump it in the woods, which I won't do. The people in the city limits, like my daughter, pay less per year for weekly trash/yard waste/construction debris pickup. Yes, county residents have complained for years.
The road in front of my house was a quiet country road, until the county opened it up to be a truck route around town, and now the state has re-routed a state road down it. It's not super-busy traffic, but the frequent big semi-trucks make a lot of noise.
The good: Everyone on this road lives on at least one acre, and most live on several acres, so there is plenty of privacy. On the other hand, my nearest neighbors, who are actually older than my husband and me, check on our house when I tell them we are gone, and come by to check on me now that I live by myself.
I can enjoy the baby calves and their moms in the pasture at the end of our road, watch the big heavy man walk his tiny old chihuahua by the house on a daily basis, watch the birds at my feeders, listen to and spot the owls in the woods, sit on my porch in the evening and listen to our fountain splash, and keep an eye out for the occasional deer.
I think the good outweighs the bad at my home.
I live in the densest part of a big city, so there's definitely good and bad!
I have amazing access to a lake, which is one of the borders of the city. The view is incredible; my boring daily walk is along the waterfront, which has been developed to be really pedestrian-friendly. We also have amazing access to public transit and easy access to big highways. If you love walking around and people-watching, this is the place!
But it really doesn't have a "neighbourhood" feel. It's a touristy area, and there are just so many people--we have about 1200 units in our apartment block alone, as opposed to, say, 20 townhouses, and every block is similar. We don't have little shops to poke around; our local shops are either cheap food and goods at tourist prices, or really, really expensive. People (including us!) don't tend to stay in this part of the city; it's hard to have more than one child here, because the rent is so high for the space you get.
Overall, it suits our needs right now, and we both like it more than living in the suburbs.
Okay, your post totally cracked me up. So very realistic and I loved ALL the pictures. So much like my neighborhood- esp the month long fireworks and occasional, um, neighbor story.
Truth and more truth! Thank you for keeping it real. I love the reminder to look for what's going right. The other sort of jumps in our faces.
I am going to practice seeing the other side today. Thank you, Kristen. ❤
It's not every day that someone dances naked in the streets! 😉
@Kristen, I've been following for quite some time in Feedly. This may be one of my favorite posts of all time. Hubby and I ride a roller coaster of should we or shouldn't we move out of our cookie cutter townhouse. It was meant as a transition, we blinked and have been here 14 years. There's quite a lot to be said for contentment.
I love our neighborhood, which we've lived in since the summer of 2012. It was built in the 1950s, so the houses are close together, which can be a drawback if you are a fan of backyard privacy in the summer, but people get along well and keep their houses and yards nicely taken care of. We do have to endure too many nights of fireworks, but the police have begun cracking down on that.
We deliberately chose to live in a small city attached to the big city because the property tax is half what it would be in the big city. We're only a few minutes away from the fun of the big city and yet have excellent city services where we live.
Year-round fireworks seem to have become more of a thing in recent years! I don't mind it so much now that my kids are older, but it was definitely annoying when they were little.
In August, people on the beach in front of me were letting off fireworks and scaring the heck out of my dog. I marched down there to where they were. They said, "Can we help you?" I said, "Yes. You can either stop letting off illegal fireworks that scare my dog or I can call the police. Your call."
another bad part of a tourist town: they assume everyone else is on vacation too.
It is an established fact in the research world that negativity carries a much stronger valence than positivity. In a non-academic real life scenario, understanding that dynamic gives an individual the ability to control how they perceive their life experience. That is not the same thing as wearing rose-colored glasses & being a Pollyanna but gives credence to the value of positive thinking which can be very powerful in cultivating an attitude of gratitude.
I live on the western side of your state, Kristen. I live in a very rural area with mostly Amish neighbors. The good… I have gorgeous open fields and views everywhere. I can walk to buy fresh eggs, milk, fruits, and veggies from my neighbors. I also grow a lot of my own in my big garden. My road is usually pretty quiet, lots of Amish buggies and the clip-clop of horses. There are always nice walks and bike rides in all directions.
The bad…. There is a lot of horse poop on the roads and nothing is harder to get off of vehicles than horse poop. I scrub my vehicle with a scrub brush and it’s still there!!! The mice are terrible because of all of the open fields. I am currently in a major battle with an army of mice taking over my home for the winter. It is a long 30-45 minute drive to get groceries or to go to a gluten-free restaurant which is not fun with gas prices as high as they are. I try to get groceries only once or twice a month. Because it is such a rural road, I do not have access to cable or internet except for satellite internet which is horrible. Winter brings crazy wind, blowing snow, and rough roads. But on the bright side, one usually just has to back out of a field and keep driving - as long as you don’t go into a field surrounded by barbed wire or other fencing. 🙂
I love today's topic. Kristen, you are such a sensible person, no artifice about you.
We live in a retirement community with an incredibly irritating HOA, but the upside is the community areas and the streets are spotless and nobody is allowed to park an RV or boat in their driveway forever. I know people like their freedoms but I don't want to live anywhere near a house (on the other side of town) that is completely decorated ON THE OUTSIDE as a tribute to a football team.
Ya can't have everything, folks.
@Anne, my side of town has a house and yard decorated as both a shrine to the previous administration and a rebuke (putting it nicely here) to the current one. I change my route whenever possible so I don't have to encounter it.
There's an auto mechanic's like that with an effigy in this town. I flip it off every time I drive past. That's somewhat enjoyable, anyway.
We live in a major metropolitan area in Texas. Let’s see...
1. We have a great neighborhood and great neighbors. Tons of friends in the neighborhood. Talk to neighbors and go walking with them on a regular basis. Always meet new friends at the park and often exchange numbers.
2. We are close to the highway—the access road is at the end of our street. I don’t hear the noise.
3. My daughter’s school is on our street as well, in the opposite direction. We can walk there every day for drop off and pick up.
4. We are close to Starbucks, target, Costco, 2 Walmart’s, Home Depot, Lowe’s, McDonald’s, etc. This is so nice.
5. It can take a long time to drive somewhere. You can drive probably 1-1.5 hours in any direction and still be in the same metropolitan area. We have good friends who live an hour from us so it takes a long time to drive to them.
6. The weather is great. Warm or hot a lot of the year. Sunny. I love the warmth because I grew up in Vegas. I’ll take 110 degrees over 30 degrees any day. I seem to be in the minority. Everyone here complains about heat. I on the other hand will walk every day during the summer!
7. Plants grow really well here. I love my garden! Case in point: it’s been so warm here that my iris bulbs are already coming up. Whoops!
8. Did I mention the people? They are so friendly! I love living here. The bed and breakfast owner, the optometrist, the Walmart cashiers and stockers, the neighbors, the pest control man...I talk with all of them and feel like I know them and their life stories! Even when you talk with someone for ten minutes, you feel like you know them because they’re so friendly and open!
9. We live in a very diverse area. 46% of families at the school speak Arabic at home and only 40% speak English! Every official paper from school comes home in 2-4 languages! It’s a Title 1 school so there are a lot of intervention groups for kids, great speech therapists. The teachers really care. The test scores aren’t the highest. But everyone really cares.
10. There’s no HOA, so sometimes certain houses are a hot mess. Thankfully I can’t see any of them from our house.
11. We have a very long driveway and large corner lot. So we’re right in the neighborhood, on the corner of two busier streets, but it still feels a bit removed, like we have our own little corner of the world.
I love it here! I never want to move, ever! I lived in Texas twice as a kid and was determined to make it back here. I finally did at age 28. I’m not leaving! 😉
Ah, what a lovely post! It's such a good reminder that we have to take the bad with the good sometimes 🙂
Our neighborhood is a 50's era one with a park at the end of the block. I love having a park to go walk around (it's almost a mile to walk around the whole thing) on days when I don't get out for any other exercise. We have great neighbors and (finally) no college-aged renters across the street. We're close to shopping and to some of the bike trails, and I can easily ride my bike downtown for meetings when I need to. We have a beautiful xeriscaped yard and our neighborhood generally feels very safe.
BUT...we are right next to a busy street and someone with a very loud motorcycle likes to drive by early in the mornings. Because we don't get a ton of snow, we only have one or two snow plows for the whole county...so when snow DOES happen and it stays cold for a while our street turns basically to ice and there's really nothing to be done about that.
In general I LOVE the area where we live. It's politically divided, but what isn't these days? We love being able to get outside and "do all the things" most of the year. Last year there was a 3 week period when we couldn't bike or golf...and so we skied and hiked! Sometimes it can get super windy here, but we have very little chance of tornados. We do have wildfires sometimes, and in the fall my ragweed and sagebrush allergies are absolutely awful, but I love the dry air and the temperatures. It is very much a MOSTLY great place to live!
I live in a suburban area of the huge city of Houston. My kids went to elementary, middle school, and high school with all the same kids. It’s truly a “small town” area where if you never get called for jury duty downtown, you’re good. Lol yes Houston traffic is notorious, but you can avoid the worst of it the majority of the time. My subdivision is about 35 years old, we moved in in 1997. We do have sidewalks and trees, nice neighbors(for the most part) and access to medical, shopping, etc. very nearby in all directions. But we live right parallel to a busy Highway ( we are separated by our fence and then a big vacant lot so it’s not that bad) but the racing late at night has gotten bad, and loud. The best part about where I live is that it’s TEXAS. can you tell I’m a native?
This is a great post! As far as where I live - we live in the country near a lot of family, and we love it! The bad part is that one nearby family member, a 37-year old nephew who still lives with his parents, is a thief. It's terrible worrying that a family member will steal from you (he has, from all the nearby family), and even more so because talking to his parents about it infuriates them and has caused terrible division in the family.
GOOD: My neighbors are mostly quiet and keep to themselves, but willing to help a neighbor in need. No loud parties or "troublemakers". The houses and yards are well maintained for the most part.
BAD: There's always that ONE! There is one neighbor that just doesn't seem to care (maybe because they rent? But, to me, that's even MORE reason to take good care of they home!). The yard is always over grown (they sometimes start to mow and then leave the mower sit after one or two passes) and there is random debris in the front yard (old children's toys, a sign from a wedding, an old armchair).
GOOD: I'm on a hill so the views are amazing! I love to sit on the porch swing hanging in my back yard and just look at the view. And during the 4th of July...360 degrees of fireworks displays! We can see them from all directions and even from a couple towns away! Also, I feel pretty safe in a flood situation.
BAD: I'm on a hill so walkability isn't great. No matter what direction you come from, it's an uphill climb to get to my house. This makes pleasure walks a chore and walking for exercise very daunting. And long, steep hills are not ideal in winter.
GOOD: Neighborhood as a whole is pretty.
BAD: To get to my neighborhood you have to drive through some less that pretty areas. From just plain old and shabby homes, to empty lots, to areas that visitors ask "is this the slums?"
GOOD: I'm no more than a mile from groceries, gas, take out, drive-thru, shopping, home improvement....basically anything I may need is close by. This is convenient.
BAD: I'm no more than a mile from groceries, gas, take out, drive-thru, shopping, home improvement....basically anything I may need is close by. This can be expensive if you have little to no self control.
I think a lot of what we see is how objective we are. We experienced and continue to experience one of the worst droughts in our area, this year. Bad, yes but almost no mosquitoes and if you lived in Minnesota, you know there can be serious mosquito issues. We moved to my hometown about 6 years ago and less than 5000 people. It has changed a lot and no, I do not run into people I know compared to when I lived here as a kid. It's a 40 mile plus, one way commute for my husband, for work but he has listened to the most audio books than any he has read his entire life. He is currently listening to War and Peace - I kid you not. People are friendly. Our neighborhood has a lot of dogs. Easily 8 in close proximity. We are a cat family.(we do love dogs also) But we rarely hear dogs barking. All are responsible dog parents. Fireworks at random times, also holidays which are not well liked by our cats and probably not the dogs either. I can live with the fireworks but the idiots that shoot off those random loud booms are the worst. It takes a while to figure out what it was, especially if there is no holiday celebrations going on. My husband grew up in the NE part of the metro and had a little bit of need for adjustment. Lots of pickups and several proudly bearing a US flag. A fairly large feral cat population. We have a brother and sister that were abandoned under our gazebo. We've also found kittens that were born last summer in 100 degree heat that didn't make it. It is difficult to see and continues to be a challenge for the community. But for the most part, we like our town and we do not regret moving from an HOA town home in the suburbs.
Lol. The positive attitude thing! It is such an important part of life. I grew up as a 'military brat' so I've lived more than a few places. Wherever we lived growing up, my parents had us involved in community projects. Its a good way to meet people and be involved.
I'm closing in on 70 and I've mostly lived by myself so sometimes my properties have been one of the ones with the unmown lawn and the straggling fence. I always get to it eventually.
I currently don't live close to family and that family is thinking about moving even further away and to a place I don't think I would want to live. I'm still working part time and I enjoy that.
I live in a large metro area but in an older (50s) neighborhood. I have a fairly large corner lot that backs up to a freeway. I've owned (the bank and I) this house for about 25 years but haven't always lived in it. I moved back here primarily because I needed to oust tenants that were destroying the place.
I've replanted the fruit orchard in the back, have chickens (city is super restrictive on what you can have) and am working on establishing a permaculture food garden. I share the food and eggs with neighbors and just close my eyes to the water bill when it comes since we've been in a drought for 5+ years.
It's kind of a backwater street without a lot of traffic so it is both quiet and noisy from the freeway traffic. It's convenient to everything and I've kept this property mainly with the thought that I could walk to everything I needed if I had to.
The neighborhood has cycled through original owners, young families, empty nesters and now more young families with kids. I've always been that crazy lady on the corner with a meadow instead of a lawn and a farm in the backyard. I'm out there blowing the dandelion seeds and my neighbors are out there removing the dandelions from their pristine lawns. Lol.
We do have a big homeless 'problem' in this area and the pandemic and rising costs have increased the numbers. I speak to many of the 'regulars' I see when I'm out walking my dogs. I often share food from the garden with them and what few recyclable bottles/cans I have go to them for the small amount they bring.
I read every one of your posts, but rarely comment. This post was absolutely beautiful. We moved this summer to a new neighborhood sixty miles away from the old one. There were many things I loved and didn't love about my old house. Sometimes we have to search for beauty. Thank you for reminding me of that this morning!
@One Frugal Girl, ok, this is so funny because I was literally thinking about you this morning, and remembering our time at Fincon 2019! ♥️ So good to hear from you.
Well, this is timely! Just last week I started to put together a similar list because of some things that are having us rethink where we live. For both the good and the bad, I could repeat one or more things from almost everyone else's lists so far. Now that I've heard what so many others are dealing with, I'm feeling somewhat better about where I live!
My neighborhood is safe, quiet, walkable, where people take care of their homes and help each other out too. On the downside, many neighbors are not friendly especially if one goes to another church across town. The worst part is that there is a fair amount of open judgement if one does not send their children to the Christian school even if their child can get better services for their deafness at the public school. I hate to say it but these people are so unChristlike it makes it hard to witness.
what happens to your neighborhood during a hurricane? I live two blocks from Trader Joe's and one block from Target. During Hurricane Sandy there was no electricity for two weeks. And this is a huge apt complex.
Thank you for this post full of wisdom & perspective Kristen! I think in the current age of social media, we are a society burdened by comparison and seeing everything through the perfect Instagram shot. In my opinion it is a sad thing to behold as there is so much beauty to behold in the mundane, 'un-perfect' aspects of life. Cheers to you for calling out the opportunity for us all to focus on the good in front of us rather than always & only seeing the ugly.
It's good to read that we all have our likes and dislikes with where we live. My two biggest downsides--we live in an area with a high water table and so periodically our basement floods. Yes, we've looked into fixing that but even with doing that (which is not cheap!), we could still have issues for reasons that I don't feel like taking the time to blather on about here. The other downside--there are "those houses" in our neighborhood where things aren't taken care of well. One of those is next to us--I think of it as the cursed house--we've had 4 different families live there since we moved in and they have all been dysfunctional. However .... MOST of our neighbors are lovely and kind and were welcoming to us when we moved in 19 years ago; I sometimes feel like I live in a 1950s sitcom with all of the chatting over the fence that goes on here. It's an older neighborhood with lovely shade and we enjoy a residential area with quick and easy access to shopping as well as gorgeous outdoor recreational areas (I can be at a state park on Lake Michigan in 15 minutes). When I hear my coworkers, most of whom live in more upscale areas than I do, talk about their neighborhood problems, it's a good reminder that problems exist despite the zip code you live in. Perspective is good. 🙂
My neighborhood is beautiful. I have no complaints. Everyone keeps up their property nice. It is quiet, but best of all it is right near interstate going all directions. I have almost any store possible just minutes from the house. The kids school is close as is their activities. My job is about 3 minutes from my front door. Location was the only reason I bought my forever home 22 years ago.
The good about my neighborhood: It's very working class with several families who live in the houses they bought when their kids were little and now welcome their grandchildren (or great grandchildren) when they visit. The established neighbors are the type to pitch in to clear the sidewalks or dig out a car after a snow (or even use their snowblowers to clear the entire block's sidewalks if the snow is deep enough!), or loan a tool, or lend a hand if needed. My semi-rural town is a short driving distance to three medium sized cities, and within a 1-2 hours of two major cities. It has several well established businesses, some within walking distance. We have paved roads, public water and sewer, and sidewalks on every street. Most of the homes--although are older--are well cared for. The town contains a grocery store, health care providers, gas stations and several other essential businesses.
The not so good: The established neighbors sell their homes as they get older, retire or die. They're older, smaller homes (under 1200 sq. ft., compared to the new McMansions being built about 10 minutes away), so families don't typically want them. They're often bought by investors and used as rental homes and get tenants who don't necessarily want to take care of them. We don't know all our neighbor's name anymore (even if we attempt to introduce ourselves). New housing additions are being added every year and the population is growing of our little town. Going to the grocery store no longer means you run into several familiar faces. Several areas which used to be farmed fields have been sold and warehouses have been added.
I love my home though, and still really like my town and neighborhood and the good outweighs the not so good.
I forgot to mention the crime rate is almost non-existent in my area! Every week, the local police department puts their calls on their FB page and it's 99% filled with stuff like someone locked themselves out of their vehicle, or an alarm is going off, or there was a dog roaming the neighborhood. (And the majority of the time, someone knows exactly whose dog it is and it's returned in a short time period!)
Wow -- so many people commenting -- a lot of thinking going on !
We have lived for 45 years in a suburban neighborhood built in the 1950s. Brick ranch homes, small yards. The good : well-constructed houses have lasted well through the years. Neighbors have come and gone, but most care about their houses and try to maintain it.
Good --Fire and ambulance service is only 3 minutes away ! Our excellent hospital
(level II trauma center, second busiest in the state ) is only 5 minutes away !
We can see the mountains as we drive around town, and can be in a very rural area in 5
minutes. The city also maintains great walking trails, parks, and recreation opportunities.
The bad: poverty. Our city has a very high poverty rate, which leads to people feeling hopeless and now gang violence.
Also, I am one of the small minority of my political views, and I have to watch what I
say if I want to have any friends at all !
A great thoughtful post !
Thanks so much for this post--just what I needed to read today. Facing quite a lot of unknowns, and I've been focusing on the not-so-bright side of them as well as how anxious I feel. Time for a more equitable perspective!
I love this so much.
Our neighborhood is almost entirely late nineteenth and early twentieth century row houses. That spectacular architecture can be seen during pleasant walks on fully paved sidewalks. Our kids' schools and great restaurants are a short walk away. Our neighborhood is a destination that makes it relatively easy for us to offer our home on homeexchange.com, which allows us to travel cheaply all over the world. Our neighborhood is also diverse; we have college students, retirees, young professionals, families with kids, rich and poor, Black and white. We have established trees along the streets, and because property values are so high on many streets, people can afford to have well-maintained front lawns.
However . . . all those restaurants, college students, and young professionals mean that the sidewalks can be loud into the night. People leave trash or worse on our front lawn. Our city's aging sewer system sometimes smells really bad on hot, sticky summer days. It is tough to park, and there is always traffic. Our gorgeous old house always needs something done to it, and I watch some of our neighbors' homes not given the loving care required to maintain old homes. Because our home has risen in value over time our property taxes are several mortgage payments. We get judged by folks back home for being "uppity" and "city" simply because we chose this beautiful neighborhood.
But I'll take the bad with the good. We love our neighborhood. 🙂
Loved this post!
Good:
We live on the same street as a small college and it's great in the summer when we get to take advantage of their beautiful grounds. It's a great place to walk, ride bikes, or have a picnic.
I like being in town for having access to sidewalks and being close to groceries, parks, yard sales, and my daughter's school.
We have a wonderful, big backyard and back deck to play and enjoy. They've been a huge gift!!
Bad:
During the school year traffic is a little heavier and we've always had college-age partiers 2 doors down from our house and I am a fuddy duddy when it comes to loud, drunken parties.
Michigan legalized marijuana a couple of years ago and there are SO many dispensaries and factories in my town now. My previously-favorite route to school now goes by a marijuana factory and you can usually smell it in your car while driving by, which is one of the reasons I've changed my route.
Since the legalization, one of our neighbors smokes his marijuana outside quite regularly and the smell carries over to our deck. It's so annoying.
The marijuana smell has bothered my husband so much that for a time he contemplated moving, but you never know what all you'll get in a new location and there are many positives to go with the negatives, so I've tried to not let it bother me too much.
@Ruth T, Your first sentence amused me-- All colleges are at their most beautiful when there are the fewest students around.
Ever notice how in college recruitment materials pictures, there almost is never any snow?
@Ruth T, oh, the dispensaries!!!!!!!!!!! Ick! I'm also not a fan of the legalized pot thing. We actually had someone smoking it next door to us before it was legalized--fortunately the people who did it were temporarily living with a relative and have since moved out, so now we don't have to smell it any more. And every other billboard on the highway is for a dispensary. If you were visiting from out of state you would think that everyone here was constantly high. I guess I am joining you on the fuddy duddy train. I'm fine with medical marijuana as I think it can be helpful in many cases, but it seems omnipresent in our area now.
Overall we love where we live and it would take a really great deal for us to move anywhere else.
One thing I don't like about my neighborhood is the noise all day. We live near a highway, bridge, and hospital. Between the traffic and the sirens...YIKES! Thank goodness for Mack's Earplugs or I would get no sleep.
One thing I love about my neighborhood is that it is very walkable and public transportation is easily available.
Another good thing is we have a good, reasonably priced diner right in our apartment complex. The owners and staff are wonderful people, and they make the most beautiful poached eggs!
Dh's dad had a great way of looking at things. To this he would said, "you take the good with the bad". As someone who just moved into house #15 in state #4, I would say you have way more good than bad, especially because I have seen some of the inside of your home and assume that your frugal nature affords you a less than average mortgage so it sounds pretty good to me.
Whoa. 15 houses! That's amazing.
Thank you, Kristen. It's easy to make the mistake of thinking I'm being more realistic when I'm focusing on the negatives. But actually having a realistic view is just like you said - noticing the good and the bad. And I always have an eye toward noticing the bad by default, which is nice for seeing what can be worked on I guess, but not nice for having an accurate view or a good attitude. I appreciate the reminder that, in my case, a more positive outlook would also be a much better reflection of reality! I'm going to have to make a list for my area.
Thank you for this post. We are looking for a house and it is helpful to remember that there are good things and bad things about every situation.
Sometimes on the internet people only share the good and beautiful which can leave readers to think that our situations/homes/lives should be perfect too.
This post also reminds me of the value of a thankful heart.
Just wanted to pop in and give a quick PSA - please don’t feed other people’s horses without permission!
Even apples and carrots (or plants you’ve picked from the side of the road!) can be dangerous - older horses can have trouble chewing (or just be plain greedy!) and choke on a whole carrot, which tends to be the same size as a horse’s airway. Horses can’t vomit, so when something gets stuck (or they eat something they shouldn’t), it means getting the vet out to pump their stomach. Apples and carrots are also packed with sugar, and while most horses like them, some really shouldn’t eat them because of the sugar content.
Apples and carrots are horse candy!
Just so you don't worry: we did get permission from our neighbors there to occasionally feed the horses a treat. We only do it every now and again. 🙂
@Kristen, I’m so glad to hear that! The herd my mare lives in lost one of its lovely friendly little Shetlands last summer after some well-meaning families put “feed the ponies” on their lockdown activity list, always a risk for urban horses!
Oh, that is so sad. Poor little pony!
A zillion comments have run through my head but for a change I should just restrict myself to answering the prompt. 😉 Have enjoyed reading others' answers.
By nature, I see pretty much only good things about where I live — excellent productive farm ground, excellent schools, a nice snug home and windbreak, excellent gravel roads, close interstate highway access, reasonable access to groceries and other goods — but realistically the elephant in the room is the 120,000 cattle within 2 miles. We like cattle, as producers ourselves, but we're not huge fans of ever-expanding feedlots, neither economically nor in terms of animal stewardship. (But the pros and cons of that are a completely separate discussion, irrelevant here.)
Easy assignment. Terrific: Homes and maintenance are beautiful. Shopping and free parking everywhere near. Safety and beautiful walking trails. Quiet. Lovely neighbors.
Very not terrific: harsh winters.
So very, very true and a great reminder!
Here's mine:
New subdivision being built in what used to be a cornfield directly behind our house. Lots of noise, dust, and people now where there used to be a field and the ability to see deer, red tailed hawk and sometimes foxes and coyotes. However, we now have the ability to walk through the new neighborhood to an old farm that has been turned into a county park. We walk there almost daily with the dog. Our house, albeit small, will be paid off in hopefully 5 years - I tell myself this often when I have a desperate desire to move into something bigger and out in the country.
This is one of your best posts, ever, I think! And it’s gotten lots of responses. I am going to do some thinking, and reading the 77 responses so far.
My first thoughts were of my next-door neighbor. He’s near 70, has lived here longer than us, pleasant guy, willing to help, pretty quiet. He’s mentally ill and alcoholic, can be scary once in a while, and doesn’t take care of his property. Same guy. We’ve learned how to cooperate and I’m glad he’s my neighbor. And I could write similar things about other neighbors and the neighborhood itself. What might neighbors say about me?
I've literally done nothing but think in terms of good vs bad lately. When I feel myself sliding over to the dark side, I try to rebut it in my head. Sounds nutty, but I think grieving has made me literally think differently. Its really a way to save my own life. Otherwise, the fear and the negative would suck me down. I HAVE to find the good to offset it all.
Big hugs to you. I think it is completely understandable to be thinking differently after such an unexpected loss.
It's hard to name just one good thing about my neighborhood in little ol' Battle Ground, WA. It's beautiful out here. One thing about my neighborhood that I don't like is the changing culture. Our city (and my neighborhood) is getting a lot of new neighbors who are bringing their big city culture with them.
My neighborhood is wonderful! My husband and I live in a senior community with everything under one roof including our apartment, a pub, a restaurant, a cafe, a fitness center, an outdoor recreation area, a craft room, a woodworking shop, game rooms, underground parking, etc. Including a care center at the far end of the complex if we should ever need more than in-home care. Our living room and bedroom have huge windows that face a nature preserve. We get our group immunizations like covid and flu right here in our auditorium where there are also movie nights and other parties and entertainments. Shopping centers are about a five minute drive from here and if you don't drive you can take the community's shuttle bus for free. You can even arrange for the shuttle bus to take you to medical appointments at no charge if they are within 15 miles of here which ours are. If you want to take the shuttle to the train station or airport you pay since they are further than 15 miles. But we do have goose poop by our pond.
@Linda Sand,
Sounds like paradise! Enjoy!
This is a very interesting topic. I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses.
We live in a beachside community in Southeast Florida. Our house is steps from a beautiful sandy beach lined with swaying coconut palms. The water changes often anywhere from a calm Caribbean clear blue to a raging, churning stormy ocean. I much prefer the calm days. We swim, kayak, paddleboard and snorkel most of the year. Our boys grew up here and they always had friends over to swim. I liked having a house full of kids.
We are also surrounded by parks and walk along the intracoastal almost daily. We see manatees and a lot of herons and ospreys.
But, there are downsides as well. The neighborhood was discovered by developers about 10 years ago and they are slowly destroying the old Florida beachside charm. They teardown the older homes and Mom & Pop hotels to build 3 story boxy generic houses that completely lack style and charm.
We have horrible traffic. On holidays the cars are bumper to bumper lined up to get into the park and it's impossible to leave.
The king tides are getting worse every year. Our house is high enough, but the roads are completely flooded with up to a foot of water (salt water) at high tide for several days in a row. We've seen many stalled out cars and trucks barreling through spraying saltwater everywhere.
We live on an island where the bridge goes up and down on the half hour if boats are waiting and that's pretty often. Occasionally the bridge gets stuck. So you just have to plan ahead and time it right or wait.
Sand in the house is a constant battle. And everything corrodes, windows, A/C units, cars, outdoor furniture, etc.
Our street is a mix of full time residents, 2nd homes and vacation rentals, so it's a mix. Sometimes the vacationers party loudly and sometimes we never see them. I could live without the non-stop fireworks until the wee hours of the morning days before and days after holidays.
@Sandy B.,
Hi from the Northeastern Florida. Developers are also tearing down homes here and replacing them with larger homes. If the lot is big enough, they’ll build 2 homes. My community had strict guidelines, but adjacent communities are ever changing.
I really enjoyed this post. In our area, I can say the following:
Pros:
-We live in an amazing area, near a nature preserve.
-It's pretty quiet, we have generally lovely neighbors.
-The schools are fantastic.
-The weather. For real, the weather is awesome.
-There is a lot of diversity, which is important to us.
-We are close to a lot of awesome stuff (several hours from both the ocean, mountains & wine country. :-))
Cons:
-It's expensive. Double underlined, exclamation point, expensive. This is obviously financially relevant, but also relevant because while it's very ethnically diverse, it's not socio-economically diverse at all. I worry about what our kids observe as "normal", despite our efforts to avoid the traps.
-Traffic (particularly, pre-COVID traffic) can be a bear
-The weather is due to climate change, and we've had a huge increase in fires even since we moved here 8 years ago. We're in a huge drought, and the long term predictions are scary.
@Hawaii Planner,
Sorry for my curiosity, but are you actually in Hawaii, or in another state. Thanks!
I'm a regular reader who does not comment much, but I love this idea! I often think about the pros and cons of my neighborhood and sometimes get jealous looking at other people's houses in my area--even though I love my house. So, here's my list:
Cons:
1. There's an empty lot next to our house that is a bit unsightly and attracts the occasional homeless person.
2. Our house is old (built in the 1950s), so sometimes repairs end up turning into pretty big jobs (we had to replace our entire plumbing system last winter--ouch!).
3. Our house is very cold in the winter.
4. In the summer our area gets pretty hot (and seems to be getting hotter every year!), making it difficult to spend much time outside.
5. We live close enough to where some of these terrible wildfires have happened, and we get a lot of smoke from them. So much so that the smoke enters the house even with all the windows and doors shut, and school has had to close numerous times because of very poor air quality (I'm a high school teacher, and school closures are a blessing and a curse--it's nice to have the unexpected day off, but we have to make all those days up at the end of the year when we are all tired and burned out).
Pros:
1. We live in a highly desirable area of our city with sky-rocketing home prices, but we got very lucky and were able to purchase our home two years ago for a decent price.
2. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac, so our street is very quiet.
3. The sweet little kids in our neighborhood love to ring our doorbell and ask to say hi to and pet our very friendly dog. It's the cutest thing ever, and our dog loves it.
4. Our neighborhood has many beautiful mature trees that are so incredibly pretty during every season. The fall colors are sometimes unbelievable.
5. I live close enough to the school I work at that I can walk (I don't do that as much as I would like because school starts so early, but I always enjoy walking when I can).
6. Our neighborhood is very walkable, which we take advantage of quite often.
7. Our house is really perfect for us--just the right size, a lot of character, and a beautiful yard that is low maintenance.
Thank you, Kristen, for helping remind me how lucky I am to live where I do!
Oooh, I can imagine that replacing all the plumbing is extremely expensive! It's a good thing you don't have to do that more than once.
My parent’s neighborhood used to have a covenant when they first purchased. It had a lot of rules about various things like running businesses out of your house or having RVs or trailers in your driveway. The covenant is no longer in effect and so some of those above items are happening however, the neighbors are very kind, and friendly. A lot of them helped my parents out after our horrible car accident with yard work and clearing the driveway of snow. In the past they have gotten our mail or put the trash out for us when we are away. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. Not everything is going to be pretty all the time. But if it was pretty all the time you would not appreciate it as much. I’m sure my parents would much rather deal with the above things and have caring neighbors instead of the opposite, a gorgeous neighborhood but no one cares about one another.
I live in a canyon.
The good: beautiful rural scenery in the Santa Monica mountains, a few miles from the ocean, driving distance to Los Angeles and Malibu, but still very rural. No one can believe there is an enclave like this so close to the city. Like a little treasure. Has a small town vibe, lots of hippies, yoga folks and artists. No sidewalks, curbs or streetlights so you can see the stars at night. There are national parks within walking distance and some neighbors have horses. It is quiet and low crime and we have a backyard, deck and a seasonal creek runs thru our property. We also have a septic system and propane tanks which makes us relatively off the grid.
The Bad: Nothing is within walking distance (except the park) so you 100% have to have a car to get in and out. Where we used to live we could walk to the beach, the post office, restaurants, the library, church, grocery stores, bookstores, the pier, galleries. I used to go for days without needing to use my car. I felt free-- The neighborhood is a mixture of Mc-mansions and cheap hippie shacks (the canyon used to be a weekend get-away) So you have ultra rich "peakers" and dirt poor "creekers" intermingling which can be problematic-- Besides nature, there is not much for older kids to do, so some teens get into drugs and petty crime (breaking into cars, loud parties and stealing mail).
The Ugly: The whole canyon is susceptible to wildfires, floods, mud slides, road closures-- there is not one season where we feel safe. Because we are close to horse trails and parks, we are also close to wildlife, which means mountain lions, rattlesnakes, deer, raccoon, squirrels, hawks. field rats, coyotes, voles, moles, and other creatures run wild, which means our backyard is a wildlife corridor, especially after dark.
The good: HUGE back yard. We spent the past two years in a condo with a patio, no yard. This feels like heaven to let my kids go out and dig wherever they want. There is a park 3 blocks away. The library is 8 blocks away and my church is 6 blocks away. We could theoretically walk everywhere we needed to go (but it's cold and I have 4 small kids!) Our town also a vibrant downtown area. While our town is small (2500), a larger city is a 50 minute drive away.
The bad: We live on a highway as it's coming into town. Right now there are lots of trucks carrying pigs and other livestock and it STINKS. Small towns tend to equal narrow worldview in my experience. There isn't much diversity so I have to be proactive with my kids so they know people come in other colors.
The good: we live on the river and across the river is military property that will never be developed so all we see on the other side of the river is trees. Our house is small but comfortable and, except for the garage, well insulated to survive 40 below or colder with no problem. When we bought it we had it completely gutted and over five years made it suitable for our old age, with a six foot square shower that you can drive into with a wheelchair, extra wide doorways, and a ramp to the front door. We thought we were very clever in planning in advance and then life happened and I ended up needing to use a wheelchair sometimes, long before we thought we would. We have great neighbors who share equipment, call when we do stupid stuff like forget to shut the garage door at 20 below, and drag back each other's garbage cans when they have been emptied. The neighbor on one side is an elderly Korean lady who brings over her traditional foods and in the summer I grow greens that I know she likes and take them to her every week. On the other side is a young couple and if we have not mowed the lawn in the back, when he does his lawn he rides on over and does our lawn and the elderly woman's lawn, too. He shares his moose when he hunts. They are abysmal at gardening, so in the summer I give them plenty of produce and eggs. When there is something really heavy that I don't want my husband to try to lift, I give him a call and he comes over. We have enough stores in our relatively small town to satisfy me, but, then I don't care about fashion or Whole Foods or things like that so I think fewer choices are just fine; not everyone, especially military folks (we have an army and an air force presence, as we are part of the northern defense system for the U.S.) who often come from bigger places and are younger, find it a shock to be in a place with no fashion type stores. No whatever stores are popular for fashion thses days.
The bad: I have nothing bad. The town is small enough to be responsive to citizen complaints: the mayor watches what comes up on FB saying why is no one filling the damn pothole on X street, and he writes back and says when it will be filled. Our Congressional people are easily accessible, often in town for things like community picnics, so they are bombarded by people coming to them with opinions and complaints. We have our share of crackpots, and the population is more conservative than I am, but overall I have no complaints.
The problem is that I sorely live missing in the town that used to be called Barrow (and still appears that way on maps since it has been only a few years since they voted to go to an Inupiat Eskimo name). I miss that the sun goes down on November 18 and stays down for 63 days before slowly coming back up; with little light pollution, the darkness can be magical. I miss a population so small that you knew most everyone by sight. I miss that the airport was on the main road (only one main road in town) and you could just walk to it. I miss seeing polar bears and hearing the local radio station tell you each day where they were hanging about so you could avoid those areas (polar bears do not hibernate). I miss seeing fox, caribou, snowy owls, seals and on and on in terms of birds/geese. I miss that you can see 9 year olds walking along with a rifle and know that they are going to or coming from hunting, not on a mission to kill classmates. I miss that there is only one store in town, a grocery store that carries a few clothing items, so kids don't grow up thinking shopping is an entertainment activity. Since the town is reachable only by plane, except for a barge that comes with yearly supplies in the summer, there just is not a way to shop and there is almost no emphasis on fashion. I miss going to the end of town, where the earth literally ends and the sea at the top of the world begins.
So I love the town I live in now, but I miss the remoteness, small size, wildlife, and cold temperatures of Barrow. And the wind, I miss the wind blowing constantly. I have to actively work not to spend time focusing on where we used to live instead of where we live now. I am too medically fragile to move back there (and every single thing I loved about the place, my husband hated) but I miss it every single day and if I let that discontent take over, it ruins the great place I live now.
@Lindsey,
Amazing! Barrow sounds a little like the town in Northern Exposure. ☻ Very interesting post. I loved getting a glimpse of Alaska. Thank you so very much.
I like this thought process!!
I love my neighborhood. Our neighbors are lovely and caring. We have big Maple trees in our yard that we tap in the Spring. We live very close to 4 awesome County parks. We have sidewalks, which is unusual for our town. Wild raspberries and wineberries grow in our neighborhood. Our neighborhood is centrally located to my son's school, daughter's daycare, grocery stores, and our jobs.
Down side: our taxes are very high. We pay $7,000 per year for a 1,200 sq ft house with a small yard. Our neighborhood is older, so most of the residents are elderly. It would be nice if my kids had other kids nearby.
The 15 year old dilapidated wooden privacy fences around most peoples’ houses are awful. But lots of my neighbors put up beautiful Christmas light displays for us all to enjoy.
So true. We are often asked by people who used to live in our community if we like it here. Usually you can read the "you must be crazy" in their voice. I often point out that every place has its up and downs. There are benefits to living where we do. There are also definite drawbacks. We try to choose to look at the good and laugh at the challenges while also praying for those around us and seeking to be a Light of hope.
To start ours was a very rural community but it is not so now. I loved being able to shop at the farm gate. There is still one farm that sells to the public. The new developments are ultra modern. I live in a street that was built in the 1970s. This area is popular and older homes are being knocked down and rebuilt. Some are very tasteful. I am making the most of what is left and enjoying the horses and the koala corridors that remain. I have some lovely neighbours and they are blessings. There are very good schools in the area and this is pushing some of the development. I have almost everything I need close to home. So I don't have to travel to those shopping malls very often. I love that there is community spirit. We have an enormous park close by and it is very popular. There are several smaller ones too. If you travel by car this area is within easy access of Brisbane, Gold Coast and other places.
Three complaints:
1. Yesterday the council sent two workers to investigate a complaint about our nuisance dog and three cats. We have one cat and he is registered with the council. This complaint is anonymous. Grrrrrrr.
2. Our neighbour next to our house hired a crane to lift a decrepit Toyota Landcruiser over our roof. This rust bucket is full of holes and it stinks too. we have enjoyed this monstrosity next to our driveway for ten years or so. This neighbour is a huge man, alcoholic and stirs trouble a lot. He has been known to threaten people, including me, over the smallest things. He has threatened to set our home on fire.
3. Public transport is appalling. But they are building more infrastructure and this is very close to home.
Final thought: Did neighbour complain about our ghost cats and dog?
Loved the post and the comments, Kristen!
Just a quick ups n downs for where I live:
We have excellent infrastructure: sewage, curbs/curb lighting, garbage collection and water controle measures (we need to, living below sea level and being a country bordering a sea) etc,
We have shops, library, clean swimming pond, schools, railway and bus station, and a hospital all within 15 mins bike ride,
In our street, we have people ranging in age between 0 years and 75 years,
We live at the outskirts of our small provincial town so meadows, trees and stars can be seen (not too much light pollution),
Our houses are suitable for stair chairs, which means you can live there until quite a high age.
The prices of houses have rocketed, meaning young people who do not have "inherited wealth" find it increasingly hard to buy a house,
Young people buying houses do not want to spend much time or money on their garden and often convert their gardens to "grave yard plots" : Grey slabs and parking lots and just one or two pots of plants. Poor bees!
The infrastructure needs to be paid for, so we have several types of community taxes. Well worth it though!
Meadows also mean: rural smells. Again, the trade off is positive in my view!
My neighborhood is no different than many. I'm writing about something specific that bugs me, in hopes that someone may see themselves and benefit from our experience. In every place I have lived, I have made friends with my neighbors, many of whom I am still friendly with to this day.
In our current neighborhood, where we have lived in since 2013, most of the neighbors are younger, with small children. We have hosted several neighborhood holiday cookie parties and neighborhood food drives. We volunteer in the community. My husband is outside a lot, plus he walks to and from his work, which is only three blocks away. He knows most people by sight and sees/notices everything that's happening in the neighborhood. Though we are barely 60 and quite active, we are dismissed as "old people" and ignored as they go about their busybusybusy lives. What none of them realize is that we love kids and would make great babysitters for those inevitable occasions where there simply isn't one to be had. DH is a fix-it guy with major DIY skills, so he's a good one to know. I bake cookies and pies and fix dinners...
One (pre-pandemic) example: When our neighbors were rebuilding/adding on to their house*, the paint bid came in quite high. DH knew their budget was running thin, so he said if they bought the paint, he'd do the job for them (DH is a licensed professional). He did a beautiful job and charged them nothing. We've never been asked over to see their finished home...
*We also approved a variance to build closer to the property line than normal, so they could have the dream house they'd designed.
We have an active social life (well, pre-pandemic), and plenty of friends. It's just kind of sad that none of them are our neighbors. Somehow, we are invisible to them because we're "old".
Our grandkids are great, but live several large states away. We'd be great bonus grandparents. I had several growing up and would love to pay it forward.
Thank you so much for sharing this; I will keep this in mind in my own neighborhood (though I am probably smack dab in between the young and the "old" now!).
Such an open and thoughtful post. I am visiting family at the moment, in an area with beautiful green trees, waterfront everywhere and tons of traffic. It makes me appreciate where I live even more, even though the grass is so much greener elsewhere.
We live in the high desert, so it is sunny 300-plus days a year, with very low humidity and no bugs and also not much green. The high desert also means it gets cold at night, and we can have wild temperate swings of fifty degrees day to night. This makes growing gardens really challenging. We get really dramatic clouds and weather, which is breathtaking and in the summer tend to spark wildfires. The smoke from wildfires close by or regionally can be suffocating for weeks at a time. When fire season ends each fall, it is such a relief and literal breath of fresh air.
Our small town is extremely walkable and there are hiking and biking trails nearby. We share our town with many community-spirited people, others who are angry, aggressive or just inconsiderate, and outsized numbers of tourists. There is the entire gamut of homes in the area - multi million dollar “ranches” to people living in tents and in their vehicles, and everything in between. Our town and community struggles to connect people in need with homes, but keeps working on it.
It is always a mix, I think it’s finding the right mix for you and your family. Reading the comments about the mosquito control trucks makes me really glad to live in a drier climate.
Thank you for this post! I enjoyed hearing about your neighborhood. In the past, I've thought what a wonderful place you live. Even though now I can see the downside, I still think it sounds like a wonderful place to live!
My husband and I (after reading your post) discussed our neighborhood's good and bad points during dinner, and it was quite fun! We can see several things that make it less than perfect, but overall, we enjoy the area in which we live! Thank you for reminding us to see the good!
An example...we live near the bottom of a hill. In the winter, the plow trucks go fast on that hill and end up plowing LOTS of snow into our shoveled driveway. But, living on a hill means our neighbors are not looking directly into our windows!
We also have woods and fields behind our house. These were great places to walk with our kids when they were young. But the downside is sometimes we would see either squatters or teens who had partied and left a bunch of trash in the woods.
There were many more examples of good/bad, but we determined the good outweighs the bad!
I love this post, Kristen! The view from my kitchen window is our lovely backyard full of trees, but what you don't see is all the random rusted metal we've had to pick out of it (and this is a rental, mind! Who leaves rusty rake heads, hoes, hinges, saw blades, nails, and a knife lying around and then rents out the property???) to make it safe for our kids. Our neighborhood has no sidewalks, and lots of puddles, but the street was recently paved, and there are lovely tall evergreens and a little path between lots at the end of the street. The neighbors are friendly and drive slowly to keep kids safe as they bike and scooter. There is not much through traffic on the street (probably since one end is still unpaved). I can walk to two grocery stores and a nice French bakery, and we're half a mile from the freeway so the rest of the region is very accessible by car.
I'm with you; I've never had difficulty being critical, but am so grateful for reminders to practice contentment!
The good:
Feels like you're out in the country (farm stands galore!) but there is access to 2 large cities within 30 minutes and a grocery store 5 minutes away.
Our neighbors are friendly and we have 2 usable acres.
Most of the time, it's very peaceful.
The bad:
They started building an Amazon fulfillment center this summer about a mile away. It's loud and disruptive to the aforementioned peace!
The area is not very diverse.
It is not a great place to take a walk because the main road that offshoots little side streets is windy and has fairly fast traffic.
What a fascinating review of your neighborhood.
Now i am thinking hard about ours.
GOOD = almost everything and we intend to live here (moved here in 1999) until a death or bad health makes it unmanageable, when we will sell and move back to Texas to be near our daughter and her family. House agents come by wistfully. One has said "We could sell your house in a New York minute" We bought it before prices raced upwards in forgotten Delaware and have a very small amount left to pa on our VA mortgage..
It is a very pretty Neighborhood with very nice nearby neighbors. Walking distance to the big university and to the friendly downtown, with a golf course beyond our back yard, which is bordered by woods. We frequently see deer and foxes.There are two small flocks of Canada geese which arrive every Fall. Luckily they don't come int0 our yard because we have huge old maples which apparently they do not like to fly under.
BAD = From the day we moved here The golf course (country club) has been vaguely trying to sell its land. Now they have a contract to stay for 10 more years at which point they must pay all loans etc. So we are very relaxed over the whole thing. The management is abysmal my husband joined for the golf course, nothing else. We will be gone before this next worry arrives.
There was some student drag racing but the city added a few speed bumps so problem solved.
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Kristen, This is a great post! Sorry I am late in responding. I've had a crazy week.
PROS: I bought my current home (a townhome) in 1997 and I have not had any desire to move. I have great neighbors, some of which have been here longer than me. We have each others' backs and help each other out. The neighborhood is safe and because there's an HOA, the homes and yards are kept up. We don't have RV's and junk cars in the street. We are a 1 - 2 minute drive from a multitude of stores and restaurants. The freeway is very close but I usually can't hear it from my home (except during "bike week" every spring, when the motorcycles are super loud on the freeway). We have quite a lot of wildlife here, from coyotes, bobcats, javelinas, and bunnies to owls, hawks, and wild lovebirds. I can see the nearby mountains from my front yard and there are tons of hiking trails nearby. It's a gorgeous area.
CONS: This neighborhood (and the entire city) is very expensive and I wouldn't be able to afford buying my townhome in today's market. The HOA can be picky and restrictive, but at least the HOA fees aren't too high. I live in the desert and half of the year is very hot. My AC bill is very high during those months. We do have a roof rat issue in this area, so I have to stay on top of that. Yuck! Luckily, we do not have scorpions in my neighborhood, so I am very thankful about that.
This post is amazing! Thank you!
It reminds me of a story some of you have probably heard about perspective. It goes something like this:
Two long-time residents were having coffee in front of their local general store. A young man with out of state plates pulled up and asked the two friends about the neighborhood, since he was considering moving there. They asked him what his last neighborhood was like, to which he responded, "Well, the neighbors were nosy and there was trash everywhere. No one said good morning to each other and it was generally kind of awful." One replied, "Well, it's just like that here." The visitor left.
A little while later, another visitor pulled up and as she headed into the store, she struck up a conversation with the friends. She then said she was being relocated for her job and was moving there and wanted to know what they thought of the neighborhood. They asked her the same question, "What was it like in your old neighborhood?"
"Oh, everyone was amazing. People really care for each other and come together in times of need. We even get together to pick up trash every month and afterwards we have coffee and bagels and we also host a neighborhood bake sale and donate the money to the community center! I have made the best friends and I am going to miss them so much."
The friends responded, "It's just like that here."
Yes, that's precisely the idea! And I hadn't heard that story before. 🙂
Kristen,
I really enjoyed and appreciated this post and the photos in both categories. I am a long time reader/lurker and I love your blog. I live in San Francisco in a densely populated urban neighborhood that has so much to love (beautiful parks and nature, year round flowers, amazing views, lots of cafes and locally owned businesses, friendly neighbors who support each other, so much to do within easy walking distance, wonderful diversity, a surprising amount of wildlife to watch including hawks and hummingbirds in my little backyard), and things that are upsetting and sad (people suffering from mental illness who are unhoused and unable to care for themselves (and despite so much well intended concern about this, there does not seem to be any solution in sight); too many property crimes; trash and mess that the neighbors and local businesses do an amazing job of cleaning up, but it is a never ending job; empty storefronts that have remained vacant for many years). I adore living here, despite the less lovely parts, but I definitely see both. Thank you for your insights on focusing on the good parts.
Lisa
I utterly despise my neighborhood and wish desperately to move. After reading this I am going to sit and look for the good in it. It is actually not as bad as it could be and I am thankful. I mean I could be living in the neighborhood of Russia.