Meet a Frugal Girl Reader | Ruth T
Time to meet another Frugal Girl reader! This time around, we have Ruth T, who is a familiar presence in the comments here.
And now we get a face to put with a name. So fun!
Something funny; both Sarah G and Ruth T took the same early-married-days budgeting approach that Mr. FG and I did.
(See her answer to question #3 below.)
Anne Shirley would say we are kindred spirits, I think. 🙂
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I am a married, stay-at-home mom with three kids (ages 6, 4, and 2.)
I live in Michigan, but have also spent part of my married life in Indiana and Virginia.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I believe that I started reading The Frugal Girl on my maternity leave with my oldest child back in 2014.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
When my husband and I first got married, we knew that someday we wanted me to be able to be a SAHM.
We figured that the easiest way to make that happen was to get used to living off of one income right from the beginning of our marriage so that it wasn't a big adjustment when the time came.
So at first, we put his income towards paying off our (mostly my) student loan debt and tried to budget off of just my income.
I will say that location had a big impact in our ability to pull this off. We made it work in Indiana (pre-kids) and got close to living off one income in Virginia but couldn't quite get there.
Our first child was born in Virginia and I continued working until she was 9 months old and we moved back to the more affordable Midwest.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
The big "why" is the same - for me to be home with the kids. But there are also a number of smaller motivating factors for me that have popped up over the years.
If I come in under budget on groceries, then I don't get stressed about the financial impact when I want to make a meal for a friend that is sick or just had a baby.
If I can get most of our clothes very inexpensively secondhand, then it feels less burdensome when I need to buy a new pair of shoes or want to get my daughter a Christmas dress.
We've also had a number of friends and family do mission work that we've wanted to donate towards and the more money we aren't spending on other items, the more we are able to give.
5. What's your best frugal win?
When I was pregnant with my third child, I was on the hunt for an Ergo baby carrier. New ones were $125 and used ones were showing up for $40 or more in our area. I saw someone post one for $10 that looked really worn and faded, but I decided to go for it.
It turned out to just be a really bad picture because it looked brand-new! I couldn't believe that she sold it for $10 in such perfect condition.
It was a time when I was struggling with how we were going to afford a third child and God used this to reaffirm to me that He cared and would provide for us.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
A friend gave me her sales pitch on some safe cleaning supplies with an MLM company while I was pregnant with baby #2.
I got attached to the idea of the products, but with the way the company did their offers for "free" stuff I ended up spending WAY more than I thought I was going to because I had to buy such a large quantity.
While it may have not been too crazy expensive over the lifetime of the products, it took almost 6 months for that budget category to recover and I promised my husband I would never do that again.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Whitening toothpaste.
After so many Zoom calls in bad lighting this past year, I was feeling annoyed with the color of my teeth and I'm happy I splurged on the toothpaste.
I'm certainly not going to give up coffee!
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Cable.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
- Buy curtains for our dining room and sunroom
- Get an electric fireplace for our cold basement
- Put the rest towards budget categories that need a little boost.
The first two things are items that my husband and I are already saving for and it would be nice to have those finished.
10. Share a frugal tip with other Frugal Girl readers
If you have kids and have storage space, shop ahead for clothes!
I can't begin to imagine how much money I've saved over the years by buying things secondhand (yard sales, Facebook, or Once Upon A Child clearance sales) and from buying items from stores at the end-of-the-season.
Be organized about it and keep track of what you have so you know what you need to look for and what you're stocked up on. Shopping ahead also allows you to be pickier because you're not in a jam with "she needs the next size of pants right now so I'll buy whatever's available."
This winter my son has been wearing jeans that I bought at a yard sale 2 summers ago for $2 a pair with the tags still on!
And it feels like less of a bummer when your kid gets chocolate ice cream on a $1 shirt than a $7 shirt.
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Ruth, thank you so much for being willing to answer my questions and send in so many pictures. It's delightful to get a peek into your world.
Hi Ruth,
This is so refreshing. Thank you for sharing. Keep up being a SAHM. It is so worth it.
Thanks for the encouragement, Michelle!
I agree so much with #4 and #10. We have an unfinished basement in our home, and we have nearly an entire wall of stored clothes in totes. I "go shopping" in the basement. I rarely need to shop for clothes for the younger children-- basically just worn out leggings for the girls and shoes. But, because of #4, I can sometimes "splurge" on a clothing item we don't really need so that a child can have something new (or new-to-her/him).
I must admit that I am looking forward to getting rid of all those clothes. I keep thinking I can soon since I'll be 46 this year. They are a BEAR to keep organized.
It's fun to "shop" through the bags and totes of clothes. If I find a crazy good price on something (like leggings for 10 cents) I'll often leave the price sticker on so I can have the joy of the awesome find again when I get the clothes out to be washed and worn. I'm finally getting to the point where I don't need to buy much for kid #3 and it's fantastic!
Hi Ruth! I see you are a Fun Mom, willing to dress up for Dr. Seuss Day with your kids. I'm always so impressed by moms like you (I am, um, not one of those fun moms 🙂
I was nodding along very emphatically with your tip at the end. I can't imagine how I would ever manage buyng new clothes for six people. Although it is kind of a bummer that it gets much harder to find secondhand stuff as kids (especially boys) get older and apparently more destructive. Shoes in particular just don't last through even one kid. Well, everyday shoes don't. Dress shoes are easy to find.
Haha! I don't often feel like a Fun Mom, but Spirit Days at the library are right up my alley!
And I've definitely had the same experience with shoes as my kids have gotten older - especially for my son.
So true about it getting more difficult to find secondhand clothes as kids get older! The racks are full of millions of pieces for babies or toddlers, but I'm struggling to find decent pants for my 8 year old at our consignment shop! I'm definitely being forced to get more creative.
Ruth T, I love your sense of joy. Or at least that's what comes across. It's fantastic.
Thanks, Karen!
Nothing has a higher depreciation than kids' clothes! It's so great when you can get a hand-me down or something like that as it's less waste, and as you said you don't care as much when a $1 shirt gets ice cream on it.
I'm always sure to pass along my daughter's clothes after she outgrows them.
Yes! If clothes still have a lot of life in them it's so nice to know that they're getting used instead of just being thrown away.
Hello! Nice to meet you! I am frugal and grew up in Indiana. I have now lived in Michigan for 26 years. METRO DETROIT very affordable.
Take care.
It's always fun to meet fellow Michiganders. 🙂
Hi, Ruth, it's good to meet you! It sounds like you and your husband are on top of your finances, and I love your reasons to be frugal.
Your clothing system reminds me of Amy Dacyczyn of the Tightwad Gazette - she kept sized boxes of clothes in her attic and shopped ahead at yard sales.
I have always had a job outside of the home, except for three years when my kids were very young, but I think being a SAHM is a very worthwhile career, too. I just want to remind SAHM's to be sure to set aside a retirement fund for yourself, too if you are not doing so already. There are several good reasons for that which don't involve divorce :). I have my own retirement through work, and it's a good thing I do, considering my husband's health situation. We have had to completely separate our savings to protect mine and in the future, I expect to have no access to his funds at all, only my own.
Thanks for the tip, JD! I was fortunate to have really good retirement contribution matching employers prior to becoming a SAHM, but it's helpful to be reminded of the importance of keeping that growing. And much of the credit for being on top of our finances should go to my awesome husband!
JD, great minds think alike. 😉 I immediately thought of Amy's clothing system when I read Ruth's!
I love secondhand clothes for kids. So many cute options for a fraction of the cost. My kids are on the small side, so they cam get hand-me-downs from kids younger than them too. I also buy as much gender neutral clothing as possible so every kid can wear it. Of course, saving clothes with an 8 year age gap between boys is such a pain that I'm only keeping the basics. I sell all of the trendier pieces right away.
An 8 year gap is definitely harder!! Your plan for handling it sounds great.
Smaller kids get to wear their clothes longer, too, which is a bonus. My third kid was the first to wear clothing sizes that matched her age. The first two always sized up much faster.
Love the frugal tips and the beautiful photos. Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks, Jennifer!
Hi Ruth! I love getting a glimpse into your life and getting to know you! My life is almost the polar opposite (we live in NYC and I work full time) so it is especially interesting to get these different perspectives. I haven't been doing well on the frugal front since getting married to someone with a very different approach and juggling toddler twins (we have been spending money to save time these days), but your post was inspiring. Happy snowy Monday to the other East Coasters here!
Jealous of your snow! Stay safe and warm.
Hi Ally! I enjoy getting the different perspectives here, too. Different seasons and places can require different approaches, but I'm happy to have provided some inspiration! I wish you all the best as you're in the midst of a fun, special, and probably physically exhausting season of parenting!
Ruth, when I saw your first picture I thought "Looks like she's in Michigan". Woods and water. Love it! Good to have another Michigander in the group .... and yes, I do think that living here makes it easier to find affordable housing on one income. I have 2 teens and am ahead of you on my life journey and want to encourage you to continue doing what you have started. I also kept clothing bins and yes to whitening toothpaste! (in my case, not gonna give up my tea). I was never completely a SAHM but I work in the resource pool at a health system which gives me a lot of flexibility for scheduling--we didn't have family close by when our kids were young so child care was all on my husband and me. Anyway ... I can't tell you how many coworkers of mine tell me they wish they could do the same as me with their schedules--I try to encourage them to consider living on one income but that seems to be too big a challenge for many. Your frugal approach will pay big dividends!
Enjoyed reading about you. Maybe we'll run into each other at Lake Michigan sometime .... 😉
How fun!! I enjoyed reading about you, too, Kris! Thanks for the encouragement.
I love that Michigan has so many great vacation spots. My husband likes to camp in the woods and I like to be near water... Michigan gives us plenty of both!
Hi Ruth, it’s good to hear your back ground & frugal tips. I’m a grandmother now & learned frugality the hard way in the early years. I finally found the Tightwad Gazette & that really helped. A big blessing regarding boys shoes is that my MIL worked in the shoe department of a department store chain & was able to purchase the majority of our son’s shoes (major brand names) for dirt cheap, combining sales, coupons & her employee discount.
Ooh! Your family connection with the shoes sounds awesome!
Hi Ruth,
Enjoyed all your pictures. Michigan is our very favorite vacation state, especially the UP!
It sure is beautiful! I'd love to go to Pictured Rocks sometime.
Hi Ruth, I love the Mich picts, they make me a little jealous. I am orginally from the Metro Detroit area, Wyandotte, MI. I still miss visiting Lake Michigan every summer. I currently live in New England, the style of living here is just very differnt from the way I grew up.
My bestie is from Wyandotte!
Lake Michigan is so beautiful. I love how there are so many places along the coast that you can visit.
Hello Ruth ~ Love reading about your frugal life, and have to say your kids are adorable! Another Michigan girl here, originally from Ferndale (downstate) but would love to end up near Empire, the trails are awesome and very family-friendly hikes 🙂 Blue water girls tend to stick together! Donna
Thanks, Donna! I went to Empire this year for the first time. I'm hoping to go back in maybe 4 years or so when the kids are a little older to take advantage of those hiking trails!
Hi from a grandma of teenagers from the other side of Lake Michigan!
Just thought I’d mention how years ago I got suckered into one of those MLM schemes and spent a lot of time and money for basically nothing. Instead of “beating myself up”, I read some stuff that explained how these programs are specifically designed to overcome our good sense, caution, and healthy skepticism! Then I was able to stop. Many are aimed toward young SAHM. Essential oils, candles, cosmetics, food storage, miraculous cleaning products, clothes... just beware!
I enjoyed reading about you!
Thanks, Jen! That seems like a much healthier way to handle it compared to beating myself up about the mistake!
I'm glad you get to enjoy the beautiful waters of Lake Michigan, too. : )
Hi Ruth, It was cool to see all your Michigan pics! I am originally from Saginaw, Michigan but moved to Arizona at the age of 24. Thanks for sharing all your tips! 🙂
Fun! That's got to be a big weather change, for sure.
Hi Beth B. Cool! I’m originally from Saginaw, MI and moved to CA when I was a kid but went to visit my grandparents farm all the time. That town has a special place in my heart.
Hi Beth B! I am originally from Saginaw also! I moved to California when I was young but we visited by grandparents farm all the time so that town has a special place in my heart.
Just wanna say I'm loving these posts!
Hey Ruth! I'm a SAHM as well with three kids four and under. Totally relate to used clothing and the thrill of a good find. Just went to a half priced day consignment sale to find treasures for summer clothes and left in such a good mood!
Congrats on the great finds!! Love that feeling.
Nice to meet you Ruth!
Thanks, Susan!
So many things "in common" from back in the day - my kids are all parents now. I love seeing younger SAHM stories!
Please try a natural toothpaste for whitening (recommend: Natural Remineralizing Whitening Toothpaste With Coconut Oil, Xylitol And Calcium 2 fl oz - Peppermint Orange Flavored) My teeth have never before been pain free, or this white!
Great Job! Keep it up!
Thanks for the encouragement, Dreama!
Dreama, Could you share the brand of this toothpaste, please! There are quite a few out there. I have been looking for a good one. Thank you!
Hi Ruth! Love your clothing tips & testimony of how God encourages us that He will provide. Also love your Midwest connection--my husband's family is from MI & we lived there a bit.
That encouragement from the Lord made such an impact on me I don't think I'll ever forget it!
I always bought thrift store clothes and also thankfully accepted hand-me-downs that were offered. When our children were approaching 10 years old I realised that they never asked, "Where did you buy this?" Instead they always asked, "Where did this come from?" I was always happy to tell them who had given it to us, or which thrift store it was from. Our old neighbor had a son a bit older than mine and they gave us hand-me-downs right through his college days. Some fit my husband too!
When my grandmother went into care, I was offered some of her fabric stash. I accepted all that I was offered, sight unseen, because we were so poor and I knew I could make something with it. The flannel that she had was pretty ugly, but I made pajama pants for myself, husband and kids until my kids were teenagers. I always joked that they had the ugliest pajamas in the country. One daughter was given a pair of pajamas for a 16th birthday gift and she looked at me and said, "These are the first store bought pajamas I have owned." My kids are all adults now and they talk fondly of those days. There was a real sense of camaraderie in our family as we went through tight times, moving from another country, my husband going to college for first time in his 30's, and more. I am thankful.
Now I sew with cuter fabrics!
Love it!! Thanks for sharing, Kara!
So nice to read about your life and frugal habits, Ruth 🙂
I love the statement about how being frugal means when you want to make a dinner for a friend or need to buy new shoes, it doesn't seem like such a big deal! So true! Thanks for sharing, Ruth!
Yep! There have been months where it WAS a big deal, so I'm happy whenever we can be in a spot where it's not a big deal.
Thanks, Sarah! I really enjoyed reading yours last week, too, and chuckled at the similarities in a couple of the photos we submitted and some of the frugal habits we have.
What lovely children -- and I LOVE clothing bargains, too -- Especially for kids. Thank you for sharing with us 🙂
Thank you! Bargains are certainly easier to find for kids, right?
I am from Michigan too (Grand Rapids and Lake Ann). Looking at your pictures thinking "Have I been to that library?" or "What pier is that?" I am retired from a long career in nursing. My husband had little job security so I continued to work at a job I loved. When the kids were little it was very part-time and often at night so I would be available to them during the day. One of the really fun things for me has been seeing kids and even grandkids adopt and embrace my frugal ways. There are so many reasons to be frugal and so many ways. It is no longer necessary but it is such a way of life and still gives me so much joy. Thanks for sharing your story.
How neat, Nancy! I don't think I've been to Lake Ann before, but have heard great things about it. I'll have to add it to my list of places to visit. I'm curious to see which of my kids will gravitate towards frugality as they age. It's fun to hear how your family has carried it on!
Ruth, I'm so envious that your library is open.
It was fun getting to know you and your money philosophy.
Keep up the good work.
Regarding number 10 : buy for the future, but not too much! I used to do this all the time, buying clothes on sale/thrifted, for the girls 2-3 years in advance... Well, once they turned 7 yo or so, they started voicing their dislike for what I picked out for them and refusing to wear it, so it ended up being a waste of money in the end. I think this works until the kids are, like, 6 or so (my girls anyways). And, no, my kids are not spoiled brats, they just have their personal style, which I respect (example : I bought tons of jeans in various sizes and multiple pairs of structured pants, but both my girls live in leggings, so they will not wear jeans to save their lives. They also like mutted colors while I love crazy patterns and bright colors, so guess what? What I like, they don't)
How wonderful it is to see women being frugal! My oldest is 29 and I remember seeing Amy D. on the Donahue show while I was in the hospital after the birth of my oldest. Helped me to decide to be frugal and live on one salary. We were blessed with family members who like to give us money for gifts as well as some clothing. At my church I let it be know that I would take hand me downs and one woman had a blast searching for clothes for my kids from the rummage sale donations. She even bought my daughter things from thrift stores. She bought her a beautiful red dress coat with muff and hat. It was an expensive coat and beautiful. My kids loved get a bag of hand me downs so all of us would go through them. I passed down my son's jeans to my daughter and the basic color t-shirts. I shopped end of season sales at JCPenneys for clothing for a buck or two. I loved living my frugal life. By being so frugal my hubby and I were able to send our kids to sleep away church camp and Boy Scout camp for my son. My family thought I was nuts and couldn't understand why I didn't go back to work. I don't have a college degree and at that time my pay would have been eaten up by daycare. Enjoy your time with your children and keep on being frugal.
It's lovely to read these posts and meet the readers of FG! Ruth, your children look so sweet and your life sounds quite lovely. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days!