Meet an Australian/Canadian reader | Helen
Today, we're meeting a reader who has such an interesting life story; I found the circumstances of her marriage to be so touching. And while I didn't plan it this way, it seems appropriate for Valentine's Day!
Here's Helen:
1.Tell us a little about yourself.
I’m Helen. I'm from Australia but am living in Ontario, Canada.
As the pandemic began, so did our marriage. I married in my early 40s. My husband was a widower and has two young children and I’m in the process of adopting them.
To say that this time of pandemic has been overwhelming and chaotic would be an understatement! And yet there is also a lot of joy and love in our home.
I am a nurse, but at present I’m staying home with our 2 littles and am relishing this unexpected blessing of marriage and children.
My husband was married to one of my dearest friends – so we find ourselves in a very special situation. As Christians, we see God’s fingers all over our unique story and are thankful to lean on him for guidance when the days are tough.
Some days we definitely just try to make it to quiet time and bedtime – but in general we are growing and thriving.
We recently moved to a more rural part of our city. We were always city folk, but were looking for a place to start anew – and also give our children space to thrive and grow.
We weren’t exactly sure what would best suit our needs, but we have ended up with a beautiful bungalow on a 1 ½ acre lot just outside the city. We are thrilled to be looking at planting some fruit trees, putting in a veggie garden, getting a dog and some chickens.
Lots of exciting times and hard work ahead! And we are thankful! Especially during this time of pandemic, it feels like such a wonderful thing.
We literally have our own personal toboggan hill right outside our garage door. Across the road our neighbours have 3 horses.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I’m trying to remember when The Frugal Girl first popped up on my feed of blogs. It’s been a while because at the time, Kristen was busy homeschooling her 4 little ones.
I don’t often comment, but am a faithful reader.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I spent a few months in British Columbia with some dear friends who were huge Dave Ramsey fans, and introduced me to the concept of living without debt.
While I’m not completely without a credit card, I learnt so much from his method of budgeting and money management.
I was able to buy a house at 30 and rented out part of the house to cover my mortgage and was able to pay a lot of it down over 10 years.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
During the single time of my life I was very much focused on saving and budgeting and living frugally. I fully expected to repatriate back to Australia to care for my aging parents – and wanted to be able to afford the move without struggling financially. House prices and the cost of living were much higher in Australia at the time.
Since then Ontario has bolted ahead and it’s not cheap here anymore either. So, I’m thankful that frugality has been a part of my life.
This frugality allowed us to move to the rural home we just bought. We hope and pray that we can use this home to bless those around us.
5. What's your best frugal win?
There are quite a few things that make this list. But one particularly memorable time was when I found a pair of brand-new Birkenstocks in my size at a garage sale and bought them for $2.
Several years later the leather strap was tearing a little. I paid $6 for the cobbler to add a bit of extra leather to the strap and wore them for a total of 7 years. That was about $1 a year!
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
When I was much younger I really didn’t have a clue about money. The focus was on keeping up with the Jones-es and I spent a lot of money on unnecessary fashion items.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
We splurge on good food. I try my best to stay in budget – and aim at $150-175 per week for 2 adults and 2 children. But we highly value quality meat and vegetables. My husband and I both love cooking and enjoy hosting family, friends and church family.
We also splurge on travel. My immediate family is literally dispersed all over the globe and it is important to us to be able to visit and connect.
These last two years have obviously been different, but prior to that I travelled a lot - and almost always to visit with family and love them where they live. We continue to enjoy local travel here with our little family. We love camping and the outdoors.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Selfcare items – especially manicures and pedicures. I can’t stand the feeling of nail polish on my nails – and would much rather wear my nails naked. It’s a cheap win!
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Likely it would go towards some foundation work needed on our home, even though it isn’t nice to have to spend money on unseen successes – it feels so adult-like.
10. Share a frugal tip with other Frugal Girl readers.
I have a few tips that I find helpful. Hopefully other readers also appreciate them:
1. Iceblock trays are my friend.
I often freeze things in iceblocks and then put them in freezer bags to use later in small portions. Eg pizza sauce, pork drippings for gravy, freezer pesto. I’ve even frozen leftover water from boiling veggies (eg beets) to use in fruit smoothies.
The iceblock size is so handy, freezes and defrosts quickly, and allows us to use up all sorts of things in appropriate portion sizes. We just grab out two or three freezer blocks as needed, rather than having to defrost an entire container and discard the waste.
2. Doing a clothing fast for a year taught me so much.
Going through a full cycle of a year of seasons helped me learn to shop my closet, wear and care for clothes well, be much more thankful, and realise that I really didn’t need that new jacket or boots to be happy.
It is still my number one tip for anyone learning about frugality.
3. The pandemic has given us opportunity to learn all sorts of fun things.
Recently we made sausages with our brother and sister in law.
We made 400+ sausages, from good cuts of meat, and figured out that they were about 50c per sausage. This is cheap for us, and it was a lot of fun making the sausages together.
4. We try to use the “buy-me-once” method when we look for something we need.
In the long run it's much cheaper to buy something of good quality that will last for years that we will enjoy using, than continually having to replace something cheap and poorly made. Kristen often speaks of this with her Vitamix blender – and we would concur!
We recently invested in an Ankarsrum Assistant (a high-end mixer, blender). We hope that one day we can pass it on in our inheritance. It came in very handy when we were sausage making a few weeks ago.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
We live an hour from Toronto – so one of the most expensive housing markets in North America. Our own little city is also becoming expensive and this is challenging.
We don’t want to move away from this area, but having to spend $1million+ on a house is definitely not adding to the charm. It has taught us the need to stay frugal in other areas though – so that we can live within our means.
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Helen, I wanted to tell you that one of my co-workers at Nordstrom, a widow, had married her husband's best friend. I remember her saying it was so lovely, because they both loved her first husband, and they could share each other's grief over missing him. I always thought that was beautiful, and your story reminded me of hers a little!
I loved reading about the life that you guys are building together, and I hope that the Lord blesses your family richly.
Dear Helen, I really enjoyed reading your interview, you have an amazing life story! Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!
We share a passion for gardening: I have been renting an (200 sqm) allotment garden since the end of 2019 (right in time before the pandemic when literally everbody was looking for a garden to rent!) and have enjoyed growing my own food, watching the birds in the garden, having friends over for a cup of coffee...
@Christine81, that sounds like so much enjoyment Christine! I've always wanted to try something like that. Do you find it takes effort to make it out to your allotment each day/week...or is it just a joy to be there?
@Helen 't Hart, It is just a joy to be there and something I usually look forward to all day! My allotment garden is only about 1 km (5 minutes per bike) from my apartment, so getting there is easy.
It is a time-consuming hobby, but I enjoy it even more than I thought!
This is such a perfect story for Valentine's Day.
I love that you guys were able to come together and knit a family.
Helen, is there anything you miss from Australia that you'd like to have in Canada?
@Maria Zannini, that's a good question! Probably my parents would be on the top of the list. They ended up being "stuck" in Ontario with us for 6 months when the pandemic started as they had just flown over for the wedding. We rented an apartment for them and it was so very special to enjoy this unexpected time together. I also miss the longer summers and the ability to garden all year round. And the beautiful eucalyptus trees.
Hi Helen! So fun that you're moving more rural and have plans to get animals and start gardens. Good luck!
@kristin @ going country, ... Yes this would be right up your alley! I've enjoyed reading your adventures and learning snippets. Thanks!
Helen, I enjoyed your post and pictures that illustrate your life. Such a sweet love story. Wishing all of you many, many years of happiness!
@MB in MN, thankyou very much!
How wonderful to meet you Helen, and on Valentine's Day to boot. When did you move to Canada/Ontario? It looks like you have a wonderful life and I'm so happy for your family. Your new home sounds perfect, the best of all worlds. Thanks for sharing.
I marvel at how wonderful all the interviewees are. There are so many similarities yet also differences among them.
@K D, hello! And thankyou! I've been here since 2001. So 20+ years now!
What a lovely story! Those little girls are so lucky to have you as a mom.
@Rose, it is an honour to care for them and love them. I'm not sure how well I do this, or even take enough time to dwell on the blessings they bring....it has surely been a time of diving in deep and learning on the fly.
@Helen 't Hart, I am sure you are a wonderful mother. All children need is to know they are loved. The rest is gravy.
Helen, I love the pictures of your garden in the front yard of your old house! Beautiful:) Also, love your story. Those little girls are very lucky to have you in their life. Blessings to you and your family:)
@Jackie, thankyou so much! We know we have been blessed and are thankful. Definitely joy coming after mourning.
Hi Helen--I'm a "neighbor" over the border in Michigan. My best friend lived in Ontario for several years and I have fond memories of going there. Are you able to go to Stratford? Back in my single days, going to see a play there was a fun experience.
I got a kick out of your photo of grinding meat. Early in my marriage, my husband shot a deer while hunting. We took some meat to his parent's house (in Illinois--the meat was well-traveled!) and we all joined together to grind it and mix it into sausage. It was pretty tasty!
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
@Kris, hello neighbor! We are hoping to go to Stratford someday soon. With the pandemic it's been tricky....but yes that is something on our list. We love art (my husband is an artist when he's not working at his day job) and literature. Have you been to the Shaw Festival in Niagara-on-the-lake? I've been there for a few shows.
We'd love to try deer sausage!
@Helen 't Hart, I have not been to the Shaw Festival, unfortunately. Traveling between countries is challenging these days! My son is going to college in Michigan's upper peninsula (Sault Ste Marie) and can see the bridge into Canada from his campus, but there are too many hoops to jump through to visit right now. Someday ....
He and I went to my Canadian/American friend's wedding a few years ago in Port Stanley. That was a fun community to visit. I was at the Georgian Bay several years ago, which is a gorgeous area. So many fun places to go!
How lovely to meet you Helen!
I wish you all great happiness in your new home!
Nail polish is a funny thing. Although I like it on other people's nails, I am disgusted with how it feels on mine. So bare hands for me, too! (I love a nice hand balm though, especially after gardening or cleaning).
@J NL, you are right. At the moment with winter we are all so dry and rough...a balm would be lovely!
Hi Helen! I loved reading your interview. Your second tip about doing a clothing fast for a year is very interesting! It's something I'll be thinking about. You're right - it sounds like a great idea for someone interested in starting a frugal lifestyle.
You, Helen, are beautiful!! Thanks for sharing with us all.
@Ruth T, thankyou so much.
My cousin has a love story like yours. It has been so interesting to watch it develop, like the most perfect romance novel. Many blessings to you as you grow together and raise the kids.
@Karen., Thankyou so much! I gotta say that being in the middle of the "novel" was much more stressful than I'd expected! It is a beautiful thing but yikes.... It has taken a lot of trust and faith. And then once everything was said and done and we were getting married, we realized that our story was actually only season 1. In season 2 they threw in spin to make things interesting: a pandemic!
Hi Helen, I too got two daughters on my wedding day -- a triple blessing for us! Thank you for sharing your story.
@Elaine N, so special!
Hello Helen,
It's nice to meet you, and your story does indeed fit the day :).
My cousin lost his wife of 50+ years and a couple years after he was widowed, he married one of her best friends, which is working out very well for them both. It sounds like your situation is too.
My daughter has had a stepdaughter for about 10 years- steps can be a challenge, but they can also be such a blessing! Our step-granddaughter certainly is. Bless you for what you are doing.
Best of luck on your new little homestead. It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page financially and that's half the battle, so I expect you will do well!
@JD, thankyou for sharing! Our house hunting adventures have sure helped us figure out out finances together. I have to say that it has sure been a time of learning how to do things with two minds and two ideas. Beautiful... But surely a process. And we are better for it.... Especially as we start this new homesteading era in our lives. I'm so thankful for my husband's savvy financial skills and similar priorities. When we chose to marry, suddenly frugality and finances seemed like second rung in importance compared to grief, attachment and many other things. So it has been such a beautiful thing to find ourselves on the same page financially and frugally as well.
It's great to read your story on this day of all days, Helen. Best wishes to you and your lovely family. Greetings from the other side of Lake Ontario, where I too garden in the front yard!
@A. Marie, yay for front yard gardeners! We are hoping to put fruit trees in our front yard this spring! We are so excited!
Helen,
I love your story! When I was 4 years old, my mother was widowed and moved my little sister and I to northern Idaho where she was originally from in order to get her master’s degree and to be closer to family. She rented a duplex and we become close friends with the family who lived on the other side. My mom met my dad through them and when my parents married, my dad made a point of “marrying” us also. He adopted us and I still tell people I am “half adopted”.
Enjoy your new chapter and many blessings to you, your husband, and your darling little girls.
@Beth, I love that idea of "half adopting"! It's been interesting to find out how many special stories people have in their lives. We are all richer because of it.
Thank you for sharing your story, Helen. I love your new home with all the land. It's nice to be in the country but close to a big city. I am originally from Michigan and we enjoyed visiting Toronto. There's so much to see and do. Your idea for a clothing fast sounds very interesting! I may have to try that.
@Beth B., Glad you enjoyed our country! The clothing fast was a challenge that's for sure, but a good one!
Thanks, Helen, this lovely story is indeed perfect for Valentine’s Day, as Kristen says. The girls and their dad are so lucky to have you, and vise versa, from your splendid description and photos.
You will have lots of space for your gardens this year! Will you still do raised beds and may I ask why that is your preference?
@Erika JS, we are still telling that question! In rural areas it's much more windy so friends have shared that raised beds don't work so well...it's too drying. So likely we will rototill and use the wood as an edge. In the city raised beds have us an opportunity to alter our soil and add much needed nourishment for it plants. We layered with all sorts of things prior to topping it with soil. And each year we add layers to nourish the soil.
Hi Helen, Thank you for sharing with us. You are so blessed and wise. I loved Australia when I visited. And I went to summer camp outside of Toronto a place called Pickering.
Enjoy your children, they grow up much too quickly.
@Anita Isaac, we are west of Toronto, and Pickering is east. I'm sure it would have been a beautiful location for a camp...it's in beautiful countryside. We camped nearby last summer.
Beautiful story! My hubby and I have been trying to get to Toronto for our wedding anniversary for three years. Can’t get a Russ the border with the pandemic. Do you have any frugal but pretty suggestions if we get there this summer?
Enjoy those littles!!❤️❤️
@Stephanie, ^across the border
Taking the ferry to Centre Island gives you a beautiful view of the Toronto Skyline, then you can go swimming there. Fairly frugal!
You can also have lunch in the restaurant atop the CN Tower, you will save the elevator cost to go up and enjoy the slow rotating view while you eat. Extravagant/frugal? 🙂 Check out the menu online first, so you don't faint: https://celebrate.cntower.ca/en-ca/our-menu
@Stephanie, we love frugal adventures! Ontario had great biking trails. I'd take bikes along if you have them. I'm not sure what time of year your wedding anniversary is. If it's winter some snow shoeing could be fun. There are such beautiful trails! You can rent snow shoes for $10 a day. There are some great frugal lifestyle blogs with ideas. Sorry we tend to outdoor stuff. 🙂
You can also get cheap tickets at different places - another commenter mentioned Stratford...although it's not so close to Toronto. Toronto also has some great art and theatre. But so much is difficult to recommend during Covid.
I cook a lot of pork shoulder, so there is always that thick white glob at the top of the pot after I take it out of the fridge. I've always wished I had a way to hold on to it, but it was messy trying to get it into a Ziploc, so I never tried it again. Spooning it into an ice cube tray will be so easy - thanks for the visual. Now I can use it to fry my cooked pork in it, thx to Kristin at going country because I've read her doing that for years and it sounds great.
@Jennifer, we do the same! We also put them in a small canning jar in the fridge at times. But yes.... So handy!
Nice to see a fellow Ontarian! I've been watching the real estate market with my mouth hanging open...it's really a wild ride. I hope you enjoy having left the city! We're stuck here for a few years due to my job, but it seems very likely that we won't stay long-term.
@Meira@meirathebear, my husband still works in our smaller city and has a 20 minute commute. But it's definitely doable and so nice to be able to breathe deeply out here. Yes...the market is a crazy beast!
The housing market in Canada just seems so incredibly bizarre to me. Like, I can't fathom how a modest house can cost so much (though I know there are a lot of factors involved.)
Have fun with the planting this spring. My wife and I are planning on really expanding our garden this year so it's a fun family task.
@Battra92, it sure is bizarre. I don't pretend to understand it ... I just feel so badly for people who need to buy in at this point. It's near impossible. Thankfully we had collateral.
Helen, our widowed sister-in-law is in a long-term relationship (we do not think she will marry again) with someone who was a longtime close friend of her husband's. It's lovely because he never had to try to fit into the the family and group of friends like a newcomer would have. We joke that he just snuggles up closer now.
@Ruby, what a lovely image of snuggling in. Thanks for sharing.
Your wedding picture is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing all of this.
I also love that you suggest a clothing fast. I did one years ago after getting disgusted with my overstuffed closet, and I am so glad - it totally reset my purchasing habits and certainly saved me a bundle over the years.
@Stephanie in Brooklyn,. Glad you've also enjoyed the benefits of a fast. It sure was a mind blowing experience and the lessons I learned were helpful in many areas of budgeting...not just clothes.
Hi Helen! Your story is lovely! I have a feeling your friend is smiling down on your family and is so happy that your daughters have you.
@BJS, thankyou. I often wish I could speak to her and ask for some advice on a specific scenario :).
I don't often comment here but I am touched by your story. Thank you for sharing.
@Sarah K, thankyou Sarah for taking the time to comment. We hope our story encourages others.
This was a lovely read - thank you for sharing! Your love story is a beautiful one.