Meet a Reader | UK Abigail
It's been a bit since we've had a non-U.S. Meet a Reader post, so this will be fun. Here's our UK reader:
1. Tell us a little about yourself
Hi. I am Abigail!
I am 48, married, and a mum of 2 beautiful girls aged 8 and 4 (yes, I got married late and had kids late).
I live in Lichfield in the UK where I work full-time in project management.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I have been reading Frugal Girl for about 9 years I think.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I got interested in being frugal back in 2008. I worked in sales back then and dropped over 60% due to the economic downturn. I was living in a home I had bought by myself and never had to think about money. That changed overnight, suddenly I had to account for every penny in order to keep living by myself.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
Nowadays it’s changed. As a working mum I want to provide a good life and that means providing experiences for my kids. So I prioritise spending my money on holidays, kid classes and ensuring we live using what we have not credit. I also prioritise saving for future security.
I strongly believe that here in the UK being middle class while also being a mother working outside the home is so tough. You’re judged for working full time and it’s difficult to ensure your kids get quality time and house is clean and the food is home-cooked.
We don’t buy organic but we stick to a £400/m food budget and whilst my kids eat dinner at school they want more when they get home, so for example tonight they had homemade tomato and pumpkin soup with bread made in the bread maker.
Yesterday we had a stew made in the slow cooker with homemade chocolate cake for pudding and I put a batch of rhubarb barbecue sauce on the hob. (It was a Sunday) I really try to give homemade from scratch whenever possible.
5. What's your best frugal win?
I think my best frugal win this year has been the fact that I had saved all the money I needed for Christmas by June.
I was determined that this year I wouldn’t be absolutely up against it, and didn’t want to be scraping round using the last two months salary. It’s tricky as my kids' birthdays fall in the last quarter of the year too.
6. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
My frugal fail- ok this is embarrassing (and a long time ago) but I have Alessi tea, coffee, and sugar canisters. Basically designer items. I spent £80 on each. That’s £240 on stainless steel pots.
It’s utterly a crass way to spend money. I’d never buy them now. (Am I allowed to say I still love them?).
You can still buy them but they’re £95 each now.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
I splurge on buying in bulk. I’ve found a local meat supplier and now buy 60 chicken breasts at a time, 100 sausages etc it saves so much, I get quality meat and I support a local business.
I find the food security bulk buying gives me makes me so happy and saves me a fortune.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
I’m not remotely tempted to spend my money on takeaways. I’d say we have 1-2 a year if that. I think they’re so expensive and so it’s so rare we buy one and I make everything from scratch where possible.
Don’t misunderstand, I love a Chinese meal but we keep it now for a NYE treat.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
If I got £1000 unexpectedly, I’d save it. I really want to take the kids and hubby to Disney in Paris for a week within the next 2 years and I’d put it straight into a pot towards that goal.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
I think the hardest part of being frugal is the social pressure there is to spend money- buying a lunch when in the office; or if meeting friends to buy lunch, etc.
We are off to a local theme part this weekend. They offered us a free return visit after a summer day trip and so I will pack a lunch and drinks and the only thing I’ll buy is an ice cream for the kids in the afternoon.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
I’m lucky because although my area is very middle class and considered quite affluent, there are loads of free or cheap activities we use. There are lots of parks, playgrounds, and woods.
There's a library and a lake, and not far away there is a community farm that is free and great for the kids to run around and interact with animals.
I am very aware of the fact we are so lucky.
What single action or decision has saved you the most money over your life?
The biggest impact to my financial life has been budgeting. I have a spreadsheet with everything detailed for each month through to Easter. I have childcare costs calculated and have pots allocated to long-term costs like kids parties, uniform, and winter fuel purchase ( logs) .
I cannot shout loudly enough about the difference it’s made to my financial planning.
What's something you wish more people knew?
In the UK I wish more people were aware that tax-free childcare can be used until your child is 11 and can also be used on school holiday clubs. So many think it’s just for wrap-around care during term time at school.
I also wish that financial planning was mandatory in school with particular emphasis on credit cards.
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Abigail! It's so fun to get a peek at life in a country other than my own, so thank you for sharing. And your girls are just precious; I love their happy smiles in the cathedral photos!
I actually am delighted to hear that your Alessi canisters are still bringing you joy. If you'd spent that much without really loving them, that would have been a case of rather mindless spending. But since they still make you so happy all these years down the road, perhaps they actually were a wise purchase!
I am very impressed by your dedication to avoiding takeout, especially since you have a full-time job. And I am also impressed by your detailed budgeting. I see a bright financial future ahead of you. 🙂
Hi Abigial, so nice to meet you! I've been to Lichfield ages ago to visit a friend who was on exchange there.
I really agree with you about being a working mom and the judgement that comes with it. Plus the insane cost of childcare in the UK (from what I hear). I didn't know there were tax-free options.
Your little girls are adorable!
@Maggie, thank you so much! X
I am so impressed by your dedication to cooking at home! That is the hardest part of working. Do you a lot of quick recipes? Or do you prep in advance? Is it all on you or do you have anyone to help?
I think it’s actually just impossible to avoid judgment as a mother. Probably it’s impossible as any kind of human but it does seem more intense as a mother vs before I had kids. I stayed home with mine for years and of course if you do that, you’re betraying feminism and wasting your education. Then I went back full time and I was neglecting my kids and husband (my mom told me we needed a wife.) Then I took a position that it supposed to be part time so now there is the judgment for working at all and the judgment for not working full time.
I’ve learned that this really comes from people being dissatisfied with their own lives. When I find myself getting judgy, it’s usually because I am not secure about my own decisions and choices. If I feel good about what I’m doing, I’m more inclined to compassion when people are struggling and happiness along with people who are doing well.
@Tarynkay,
So wise.
@Tarynkay, Good insights. The criticism also comes from jealousy--women especially see the grass on the other side of the fence as so much greener than their own!
@Tarynkay,
I can't believe your mom said that! OMG! So sorry....
@Tarynkay, so sorry about your mom's comments to you. i think people should live their lives as they see fit and not worry about the peanut gallery. very hard to accomplish but worth striving for. you are a sensible person doing the best you can.
@Tarynkay,
Did we have the same mom? Because mine would say stuff like "it'd be easier to keep your house clean if it wasn't so *cluttered". Eye roll. Actually, Mom, I refuse to spend my hard earned weekends cleaning house like you did. I prefer to spend them with my family. (This is part of the reason I'm starting therapy today after work.)
And I so agree with judgement aimed at moms no matter what you do. A former neighbor, who was a SAHM and who knew I worked full-time away from home, once mentioned her decision making process before her first child was born, and how she "made the right decision to take care of her family". It was the right decision, maybe, for her and her family, but it was not even an option for me....I'm not sure it's an option I would have chosen had it been an option for me.
On the other hand, my son's bestie is someone he's known since pre school, and they are now freshmen in high school. It's not likely they would have ever met each other if not for pre school, and I'm grateful for that.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I am also sorry your mother said that. I am hoping that she didn't "get" times changed. But I fear that is not the case. You made the best decision for you and your family so own it and own it proudly.
@Tarynkay, important to remember, staying home is not BETRAYING feminism!!
Feminism is the RIGHT TO CHOOSE to work or not, to have options. I say this as fully working women, I support people having a choice and making a choice.
@ka, having a choice would've been great. Not all us SAHMs wanted to do that, but the cost of childcare is insane. It's up to £100 a day for nursery in my area (London) now. Luckily my kids are 19 and 16 now but even back then I just couldn't make the numbers work to go back to my old job. The only solution for the hours I needed would've been a nanny and they earned more than I did!
Hi Abigail! I found your interview very interesting and I love that it comes with so friendly and happy faces.
About your Alessi stainless steel containers - not sure it was a frugal fail. Certainly a splurge but
1. It seems to give you joy and you are fully aware of how precious they are and
2. prices have gone up since when you bought them and chances are quite high that you could sell them for quite some money. At least here in Germany. High class, well maintained designer objects do not lose their value.
The same here regarding take out. It had never been an option for us either when our three boys still lived at home and we worked full time. There was always a home cooked meal for dinner even when the boys had lunch at school.
Abigail,
It's lovely to meet you. I am impressed with your careful budgeting and values. I love that you almost always eat at home. We still do for the most part and definitely did while in the child raising years.
I agree with others that while your Alessi canisters were expensive they are of some value since they still bring you joy. I hope you continue to enjoy them for many more years. I understand feeling they were a waste and your values have changed but the purchase did not sink you. I look at the jewelry I have, and don't wear, as a waste but at the time I wanted it and wore it.
@K D, thank you what a lovely comment x
Hello to a fellow Brit! I am so impressed that you never get takeaways, I wish I were that dedicated. I can limit myself to once a month right now!
Not to mention: it would not take a lot of rounds of takeout over the years to add up to the cost of the cannisters. So, I don't think she should feel any guilt about them!
Hi Abigail! I'm with Kristen: If those cannisters still bring you joy after many years, I think you've gotten your money's worth out of them. 🙂 Also, I had to smile at the Thomas the Train park photo. My son used to LOVE Thomas the Train, and I'd forgot all about it.
@kristin@going country, in the UK he is called Thomas the Tank Engine 🙂
@Victoria, we are very lucky as a local amusement park called Drayton manor has a thomasland in it for little ones. I bought a parent and toddler ticket wrote she started school and they gave me a free return ticket so I took the older one too as someone else dropped out and there was space. It’s a great place for youngsters.
Hello, Abigail! Our JASNA (Jane Austen Society of North America) tour of England in 2009 made a brief stop in Lichfield, so I've visited your lovely cathedral.
And I'm with Kristen and others: I think the Alessi canisters should count as a splurge rather than a frugal fail, given the pleasure they've brought you.
Finally, a note to the whole Commentariat: This will be my last comment before I leave for the JASNA Annual General Meeting. I'll be back Tuesday of next week, D.V.
@A. Marie, ooh, enjoy your trip and gather anecdotes galore. 🙂
@A. Marie, Have a great trip! We'll miss you.
@A. Marie, Frankly, I’m looking forward to hearing all about it. Have fun!
@A. Marie, We'll miss you! But you so deserve this trip and I know you'll enjoy it enormously.
Yay!! Your trip is here!!! Have a wonderful time, and we will look forward to hearing all about it.
@A. Marie, enjoy every second!! Looking forward to you sharing when you get back.
@A. Marie, enjoy enjoy. give yourself permission to splurge if you feel like it or not.
am glad you are doing something fun and that you gave us a warning that your much looked forward to comments will be absent.
@A. Marie, I envy your involvement in the JASNA group---you seem to have so much fun with other members. Have a great and safe trip and I, too, look forward to hearing all about it.
@A. Marie, pictures, we'll need pictures. And a complete report of your meals. What you wear is up to you. I suspect none of we Commentaits are the fashion police.
It’s nice to meet you. Working outside of the home when you have children is definitely a challenge! It does get easier as they get older.
Your girls are adorable and the photo of the Cathedral in winter is lovely. The light is amazing!
The ability to live in a city and not get someone else to cook for you — that's a great skill. Good job. It's a good thing we live 12 miles from anywhere. Cooking is low on my list of favorites and it's better that the temptation is off the table.
Thanks, Abigail! It's interesting to hear about life across the pond.
Abigail, you and your beautiful young daughters seem to be living the good life! Years ago, I vacationed in England and everyone was so nice and friendly. I really liked being there and seeing the amazing places in London, Liverpool (I'm a diehard Beatles fan!) and elsewhere. As for your post, I enjoyed seeing how an everyday Brit lives. Here in Texas, we enjoy so many things from your country, ranging from Shakespeare plays to rock'n'roll to Andy Capp. (That's a comic strip supposedly taking place in Hartlepool, England, for those who don't know.) And hooray for you, getting to be a mother a bit later in life!
I wanted to add a fun fact. Did you know that in Europe carousels generally run clockwise and in the US they run counter clockwise?
I loved my visit to the UK over a decade ago and would love to someday visit again. I know we get a lot of the negative news about places but I am hoping we can have a good time there should we ever return.
@Battra92,
That's very cool about the carousel directions! Now I'll be specifically looking for that here in the US, when I see a carousel. 🙂
It is a true joy to have something in our homes that feels like luxury and I think it's important for frugal-minded people to have something that represents a splurge (it's okay to make less-frugal purchases sometimes which can be surprisingly hard for underbuyers and frugal folks like me). What gorgeous canisters (and clearly they have retained their value, too!)
Hi! I related to so much of what you said, Abigail. I also got married and had my kids later in life. It's interesting and sometimes isolating to be the older mom. I was in a different place in life than many of the other mothers and made life decisions based on where I was. The advantages of being an older mom were significant, however. Not that I was brilliant at it, but I was more in tune with where I focused my energy, and I was better able to be patient and take a longer view of parenting my kids than I would have had I been younger. I'm curious as to what benefits and challenges you have noticed as an older mother.
I am impressed that you make a home cooked meal all the time. I did it while working part time, and found it challenging. I used my crockpot constantly! You should be proud of yourself for accomplishing so much in your professional as well as your private life.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi, Abigail, glad to meet you!
Your daughters are precious and I loved the pictures.
I stayed home the first three years I had kids, then I had to go back to work full-time, as my husband was temporarily out of work. I know the feelings you described!
It is HARD to cook after working all day and it sounds like you do some extra cooking on the weekends, like I do. I live in a town where the restaurant choices are so limited that it reduces my temptation to get take out. I salute you for living in a bigger place with more choices yet still cooking at home.
I'm always impressed with people who faithfully maintain their budgets. I'm not one of those people, ha, but I'm trying to get better. Thanks for inspiring me!
@JD, I would say as my girls eat breakfast at school then also lunch and dinner as part of the wrap around care program I pay for the 4th meal I provide is homemade soup, scrambled egg etc. I would hate anyone to think I am pulling out all the stops everyday! We get through 30-40 eggs a month here with baking etc.
I loved meeting you, Abigail! Your meals sound really tasty.
When you say "takeaways", is that just meals taken from a restaurant and eaten at home, or also meals eaten at restaurants? I also find it hard to balance socializing with restaurant meals, like you mentioned!
That was my guess; that it's the British name for what we call takeout!
@Andrea G / Midwest Andrea,
Hi Andrea. A British takeaway is food you buy or order at a restaurant and eat at home. Like fish and chips or Chinese/ Indian.
@Abigail, And if you make your own at home, it's a fakeaway.
@Rose, good one!
@Anne, I didn't make it up! It's real British slang.
I agree with all the others who are impressed with your commitment to home-cooking after a full day of work (& the food sounds delicious)! And also that the canisters are a splurge rather than a fail - you've been using and enjoying them everyday for years; sounds like the perfect splurge to me! I really love the fact that they are things you handle and appreciate in everyday life; that's where I would splurge too. (In fact I think the argument could be made that they could help maintain the motivation against takeaway, since they spark joy while you're involved in home food prep : )
@Suz, what a lovely thing to say. Thank you x
Abigail, your storage tins are lovely and worth every penny! Well done!
Hi Abigail, So delighted with this peek into your life—and soo impressed with your home cooking consistency. Your girls have lovely happy smiles; hope you make it to Disney soon. My parents had a winter home near Orlando so we took the kids to Disney World whenever we visited their grandparents. Such fun for all of us.
We took our two boys for a visit to England and loved every minute. While we did everything, including a play at the Globe (our kids were studying Shakespeare’s work in middle school ), many cities such as Bath (my interest in Roman history) and the cathedrals in all of them, and were there for Wimbledon, one thing I would have loved is visiting with a family just like yours.
Many thanks for sharing.
@ErikaJS, thank you for saying such nice things. Lichfield is a very old historic town and some parts are Roman. I think you would like it if you visited. It’s very much olde England x
Hi Abigail! It is so interesting to get a peek into someone's life outside the US. I can't believe how much food you make from scratch! I do that as well, but when I was working full time and my kids were still home I felt like I had a hard time getting anything on the table. I don't know what the food prices are like right now in the UK, but I'm very impressed that you can make all of that wonderful food for so little!
Regarding your canisters: I think they are fantastic, and even though they were expensive you clearly still enjoy using them. That is not a fail in my book. When you think about the price divided by how many years you have had them (plus how many more you will use them) it really is not a lot to pay. I have had my eye on an Alessi Moka Pot for years, but until my current (plain) one dies, I can't bring myself to buy it. But once my current one can't be used any more, I will most certainly enjoy that new Moka Pot every single day!!!
@Laurie, she’s doing exceptionally well to feed a family of four on £400pm. Prices have gone up by ridiculous amounts.
@Victoria, hi Victoria. I just put it up to £400/m. It was £350/m and it got too hard. I include all household items and cat food in that. I find buying ingredients and not meals much better value. Also bulk buying meat etc. I have to say I am astounded at prices in America and Canada. I pay 89pence for a bunch of bananas but regularly see Americans on YT paying $6! Prices have gone up here so much. Mayo we eat a lot
Of as my hubby loves it. It’s gone from 49p a jar In Aldi to 99p since 2021/2022. I really keep track of prices. Thanks for saying nice things. X
Abigail, I find it fascinating to read about your life.
I wish people wouldn’t judge working moms! I was a stay at home mom with four children and looked down on. Well, I was a farm wife feeding the pigs and farrowing sows, helping with field work. Ha! Could have explained that, but They wouldn’t understand. no takeout meals here….unless you consider all the meals I brought to men in planting and harvesting
@Joy in NW Iowa, That anyone has the nerve to look down on a mom staying at home to raise the kids that will be our next generation of healthy adults is beyond me. And that’s even before you added the farm work you did.
My sister once attended an event with her lawyer husband. Mingling, someone asked her what she "did." My sis said that she is at home with two littles. The person turned on their heel and walked away. And, it was a woman!
@ErikaJS, I don't look down on stay at home mothers, but I worry about them.
My parents were happily married but they had their moments. And it was clear to me as a child that when it comes down to it, the person earning the money has the ultimate power. And I decided I was never going to be powerless.
@ErikaJS,
I agree 100%! Stay at home moms work incredibly hard, and then add in the farm work? That's a LOT! That person was so rude!
@Rose,
Amen....I saw this happen with my bff. Now that she and her hubby are divorced, he's still trying to exert control with their two kids' college funds. It's horrifying. (BFF was a stay at home mom for 10 years, then went back to work - and now has a great FT job).
@ErikaJS, sad but true more often than not. I'll admit being a stay at home mom would have drove me bonkers (farm work I could handle). But I do worry about what is called the "trad wife". I read an article about a couple - husband wanted wifey to be a trad wife. She said sure, as long as you make me 50% owner of the business we started. And he did. Smart woman not only looking out for herself but for her future child(ren). One thing to be a SAHM, another to be ignorant of finances, life insurance, etc.
@Liz B., I saw something recently that said that men hate child support because they cannot bear ‘spending’ when it doesn’t buy them control. Literally, “if I can’t control what you do with it then I’m not giving it to you”. My dad was absolutely like this, never paid a day of child support.
What a beautiful life you’ve made. Lovely girls! Blessings to you, you’re doing a great job.
Hi Abigail, so nice to meet you and see that the life of working moms here on the other side of the pond is not so different from yours. We all do our best and struggle with guilt and judgement.
I'm curious about your woods - as in the frugal "parks, playgrounds, and woods" in your area. Here in the mid-Atlantic US, woods are potentially dangerous places I'd never let my grandkids run around in. Are there paths through the woods?
Also, can you provide a link for your tomato pumpkin soup recipe?
@Book Club Elaine, in the woods around towns like Lichfield (I lived near there for a few years) they’re not particularly dangerous. Foxes and squirrels rather than bears or wolves 🙂 And they might be quite small, with lots of walking paths where everyone walks their dogs. We have nettles, and obviously don’t eat the berries, but it’s not really poison ivy or ticks.
I loved reading about your life. I once spent a week in your beautiful city and enjoyed it very much. Thank you for posting.
@Lynda, I’m so lucky Lichfield is a charming place to live!
@Abigail, it is fun to read about you and your life. I particularly enjoy your British vocabulary—mum, pudding, hob, scraping round. (Love the pig photo too.) Your discipline in budgeting and cooking while working full time is very impressive. And as to people who are judging you, my first thought is "Who cares what other people think?" (Maybe that attitude just comes with advanced age.) So here is a quote for you by someone whom I have forgotten: "What other people think about me is none of my business!" Just keep on doing what you are doing!
Hello, Abigail! Glad to meet you! You are showing excellent backbone and what commitment means; older mothers understand the important things, including nutrition and budgeting. I worked for many years and kept my commitment to home cooking, and my husband and I are both healthier now because of it. A small luxury in the kitchen is a good investment, making it a more friendly work place and more personal to your own joy and satisfaction. I spent what felt like an enormous sum on a new sewing machine a few years ago, but it was a good bargain, and the dealer gave me $800 credit for trading in my old machine. I paid $1200 for a machine that would have retailed for $2500. Its versatility and features have paid for itself, and it is a joy to use. So, no regrets. It has taken me a long time to appreciate how my daily life can be so joyful with strategic choices, and I appreciate Kirsten's approach. Living well, with joy, uses frugal practices to get there, which means good choices and a commitment to quality. I have some very nice pots and pans, which also earn their keep. And because I wore out their predecessors, I take better care of the new ones than I knew to do with the old ones. Experience is such a wonderful teacher (I am 76).
@Kristina, I had to read the “I appreciate Kristen’s approach” paragraph several times. It really resonated with me.
Abigail, I bought my daughter the Alessi water tower a few years ago.
https://us.alessi.com/products/water-tower-container
It was and is so cute (and reminds us of course of NYC water towers). I got it on sale, though. I think it was $150. And I bought my sister the iconic Phillipe Starck juicer many years ago.
S0 yeah, I feel the pull of Alessi. (Also all my flatware is from there.)
@Rose, oh no! I was not familiar with Alessi and now I am lusting after the citrus squeezer lol.
I was a working mom which was the best choice for my personality and circumstances. Interesting that my mother, a SAHM (I am a boomer) always told me and my sisters that we should work or at least have an employable skill because one never knows what the future (death, disability, divorce, etc.) will bring.
I think things that bring you joy and are useful are worth an occasional splurge. A reverse Marie Kondo.
@Jean C, The Juicy Salif is in the Museum of Modern Art and is a design classic, so you have excellent taste! I doubt my sister has ever used it once, ha, and my daughter does nothing with the water tower, so my Alessi purchases don't even have a practical use, unlike Abigail's canisters!
Philippe Starck is considered an extremely important designer (he of the squeezer) and the water tower was designed by Daniel Libeskind, one of the most important architects in the world, so these things will always have value.
@Rose, I love a beautiful design. I can see why it is worthy of MOMA.
When I go on vacation I sometimes treat myself to something unusual as a memory of the occasion. I have a Georg Jensen “triple snack bowl” whose design called to me from a grip to Maine. I don’t regret that splurge at all.
@Jean C, Georg Jensen is da bomb! Good for you.
so nice to meet you. i admire you for cooking from scratch. i love take out. so many restaurants just outside my apt complex. a splurge you still love is nothing to be upset about imho luckily the hubby is a great cook. i can do breakfast and lunch but dinner planning is not my forte. am great at cleaning up. i love disney. worked at disney world in florida for one summer between junior and senior year of college. got engaged there. have taken my two kids there twice. our next trip should be dollywood but it's not very dog friendly and our dog always go on vacay with us. have been to england 3 times. the first was my high school senior trip. had the worst jet lag ever. now i know to change my watch to local time on the plane and to keep myself up until local bedtime. england is fabulous.
thanks for posting and i hope you get to disney paris. my wish list is the one in hawaii. when i was single i went to disneyland but i like orlando better.
@Anita Isaac, We took our lab with us on our last drive across the US and visited Dollywood. We found a wonderful dog sitter through Rover.com. If you read this and want the name, let me know and I will get it to you.
@Lindsey, yes please. would love the name of a great dog sitter. many thanks.
So nice to meet you!!!
Living near a community farm - how fantastic. I would be there all the time.
I say that since you bought those canisters, it's great that you love them!
Thanks for sharing a peek into non-US frugal living. It's so different in different countries, even US/Canada. I hope we hear from more non-US'rs - come on, everyone, speak up!
I just wanted to say I love your use of the words “whilst” and “hob”
Me too! I read her post with a British accent in my head. 🙂
great to hear another voice for "financial studies" for young people while still in school with an emphasis on credit cards. My daughter's young inlaws are from the UK and have a very strong dedication to being wise/frugal also.
@BRENDA, Yes. but does it actually get through to them? Both my kids had one of those required classes in high school, and my son majored in economics, but he also knows approximately nothing about personal finance, sigh. I have been trying to teach him.
Come to think of it, my ex FIL had a PhD from London School of Economics and I don't think he knows the difference between a tax credit and a tax deduction.
Kristen, something Abigail said made me think of an idea for a post. I believe she made a comment on the most embarrassing money mistake she made. Why don't you do a post on embarrassing money mistakes and we could all contribute ours?
Oh yes, that is part of the routine set of questions I ask Meet a Reader participants. But if you all want to have a big ol' round of embarrassing money mistakes, I'm down!
Hi Abigail,
I'm so impressed with your bread making skills!
@Maria, I have a bread maker. No skill involved sadly!
I loved your submission and photos - so interesting. I too wish personal finance was a required class to graduate. I guess some of that education comes from our mistakes.
I love that you cook from scratch and resist take-out. I do notice in the US a big shift toward pre-prepared foods in grocery stores, Costco and Trader Joes (especially frozen items). I think basic cooking, sewing and simple home repairs should also be a required class.
Interesting to see that both working and SAHM mothers feel judged. I am of retirement age and I see a phenomenon called PIP (previously important people). Once people are retired and no longer have the status of their employment, they have to reinvent themselves, particularly if they move to a different location. It is interesting to see how that works (or doesn’t work) for people.
@Jean C, agree that for some, they are their job. And when they retire, they are at a loss. IMHO, part of it stems for "going cold turkey" with no plan(s) for the former working hours. I put out the feelers for sliding into retirement - not here today and gone tomorrow. The work-ethic-in-me wants to make sure those who take over my duties are educated and prepared. Aka I don't hate my job/my employer.
I know I could fill my days if I just cut the cord. After I fulfilled my contract at one job (I was an employee but the $$ they dangled to stay was well worth it), I didn't work for 14 months. I found plenty to do. And once you retire from your FT job, it doesn't mean you can find some type of PT employment/volunteer work. But for any PT gig, I'd do my best to make sure a younger/another person was not "losing out" on the position. That would be a non-starter for me.
Ignore the judgement re: being a working mom. The mindset from those that judge is fear, pure and simple. Fear of loss of control and power (male) and fear of being expected to work (female). Your children see a strong, secure female - a female who is able to support herself and her children. While the retirement system is a bit different in the UK (I suspect), you'll not be in the boat so many American retirees are. Didn't save enough money for retirement - social security is meant to be supplemental. There comes a point when, even if a stay-at-home-mom, your children are old enough/raised and you can get out and get a job. Can't speak for the areas of other commentariats on this board but in my area, too many wives didn't get a job.
I have a small desk accessory box my kiddos gave me years ago - working moms are super moms. And yes, we are. We will never financially fail our children.
Those canisters! I love them. I agree with Kristen, if you still love them now (and I sure would) it was probably a pretty good investment.
Thank you for sharing. It was fun to read about your life.
Also, a UK reader and I don't live far from Lichfield. I met up with a friend there last week and we got some brilliant bargains in the charity shops! Lovely to "meet" you!
@Nina, hi Nina. Well I’m always in Lichfield. So nice to know there’s someone local who also reads thefrugalgirl x
Oh my Abigail, your girls are adorable! I love the picture in the cathedral.
You said your girls eat dinner at school? I'm curious? Is that the evening meal? In the US, we call the noon day meal lunch & the evening meal dinner or supper depending on where you live. So is dinner the noon day meal or do they eat twice at school? Many of our schools serve breakfast & lunch (noonday) meals. It sure takes a lot to feed growing children!