Meet a Reader | Robin from Wisconsin
Today, we have the pleasure of meeting a reader who has never commented (despite being a very, very longtime reader!). And if you are a cat person, you will smile many times as you read this post; the first cat picture made me giggle out loud, actually. 😉
1. Tell us a little about yourself
My name is Robin, and I am a longtime reader but never commenter. I live in southeastern Wisconsin with my daughter, a high school senior, and 3 cats: Meowy, Tabitha and Pumpkin.
I am in my sandwich generation era; my parents and in-laws have reached the point where they need assistance with house and yardwork. We live in a rural community outside a small town located between 2 major metropolitan areas.
Our Victorian farmhouse was a church parsonage until 1950 and we have a cemetery next door (which is still active).
We have 2 acres; I call it a hobbyist farm. I enjoy gardening and we had a large vegetable garden for several years. I made enough spaghetti sauce for an entire year from our tomatoes.
I had to scale back in the last couple years though and I just grow a few tomato plants now. I love getting plants for free and am lucky that my mother-in-law has a huge garden and has shared many perennials for our yard.
While my daughter was in 4H we had ducks as pets for 8 years. We started with 4 magpie ducks, then got 6 call ducks.
The call ducks multiplied over the years, and we had 26 ducks at the peak. They are frugal pets since they make more ducks for free. Feeding that many ducks isn’t cheap though.
When we let the ducks out to free range in the summer, they quickly figured out how to get into the swimming pool.
I work full-time; I am an architect in a firm of 100 people. I specialize in healthcare design and work on projects in hospitals and clinics.
I am fortunate to have a great boss and a flexible schedule; I can work from home when I want to.
Of course, our cats like to help me work from home.
My frugal driver is now that I am recently widowed. My husband died from pancreatic cancer 14 months ago.
He was diagnosed in February 2021, went through chemotherapy and surgery but the cancer was aggressive and kept spreading despite treatment. We found out in October 2022 that the cancer had spread to his spine, and he was gone 3 months later.
We had been together for 25 years and married for 23 years. To say that the last couple of years have been hard is an understatement.
My husband was adamant that my daughter and I shouldn’t stop living our lives because he was gone so we are grieving but still trying to move forward.
Reading Kristen’s posts about leaving her marriage has been comforting. I feel like the death of a spouse is a similar experience to the end of a marriage.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
Since my daughter was little, so at least 15 years. I don’t remember exactly how I found the blog; I was probably looking for frugal parenting and kids’ activities tips. I read every post and all the comments.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
My grandparents were very thrifty, and I grew up watching them be careful with their money. They lived a very modest lifestyle and saved a lot of money but also shared their gifts with their church and family.
They were the epitome of thrifty Midwesterners who grew up during the Depression.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
My why has changed over time.
I didn’t really try to save money when I was first living on my own as a college student. As a young married couple, my husband and I lived beyond our means for a while, buying things we wanted on credit cards instead of saving up for them, and accumulating a fair amount of debt.
We were only able to pay it off after my husband started a new job with a much higher salary. Once we had paid off that debt, we started saving in earnest to build up an emergency fund (with a goal of 3 months’ salary) and our retirement savings.
I have been laid off twice in my career because the architecture/construction industry follows economic slowdowns. It was only for a couple months each time, but it made us realize how important our emergency fund was.
5. What's your best frugal win?
My best frugal win was receiving a full academic scholarship for my undergraduate education. My parents paid for my living expenses, so I didn’t need to take out any loans until graduate school.
6. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
I bounced a few checks when I first started college because I didn’t know how to balance the checkbook. My parents got me a bank account but didn’t really explain how paying bills worked.
Online banking certainly makes money management much easier.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Grocery delivery. The grocery store with the best prices in our area is huge and it takes me about 2 hours to get through it. I pay $15 for delivery because the time savings are worth it to me in this season of life.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
New technology items: I am a late adopter and don’t feel the need to buy new models when they’re released. I am comfortable with my older iPhone and iPad and will use them as long as possible.
I don’t like household appliances connected to Wi-Fi; I want straightforward appliances that will last a long time.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I would probably put some into my daughter’s 529 account and spend the rest on our upcoming graduation celebration trip later this summer.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
Buying items on sale and comparing prices to find the best value comes naturally, my family has always valued a “good deal.”
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
Even though our library is small it is great. There is a puzzle exchange that I use often. People bring in jigsaw puzzles that they have completed and then take new ones.
I get new puzzles for free that we do at work in our break area. There is also a houseplant exchange, you can bring in extra houseplants and get new plants for free.
Our library also has lots of free programs for kids, teens, and adults; it’s a fantastic community resource.
12. What frugal tips have you tried and abandoned?
Making things like laundry detergent and yogurt from scratch. With a small family, we just don’t go through those items quickly enough for it to be worth my time.
I would rather spend a little more money to buy them from a store and save time, especially because I get the items delivered. 😉
13. What is something you wish more people knew?
Create a plan A, B and C for emergencies because your circumstances can change very quickly.
Before his cancer diagnosis, my husband and I had been through job changes and a couple of serious health issues but still felt we were young and relatively healthy and didn’t discuss emergency plans much.
We were very fortunate that he had great health insurance and benefits through his employer. Two years of cancer treatment cost about $1.5 million and would have caused serious financial difficulty if we didn’t have insurance.
I am financially secure now because he had life insurance through his employer, and I also inherited his retirement accounts.
I met with a financial planner for advice. I can live on my salary alone and have invested the money for future emergencies, my retirement and to pay for my daughter’s college tuition.
She will be attending a private university with expensive tuition. One silver lining is that she will get more financial aid now because she only has one parent’s income on her application. The cost is worth it to me because not only does it offer the degree program and setting that she wants, but it is also where my husband worked and his alma mater.
That connection is important and special to us.
14. How has reading the Frugal Girl changed you?
I think reading the blog for many years has improved my frugal mindset. I have taken ideas and tips from Kristen and the commentariat. Of the many posts, this is one that stuck with me: “It doesn’t have to be perfect to bless other people”.
Social media can make me feel like things have to be perfect or expensive to be worth sharing.
15. Which is your favorite type of post at the Frugal Girl and why?
Meet the Reader 😊 I am fascinated to read about how other people live and what they do.
16. Did you ever receive any financial education in school or from your parents?
Not really, see the embarrassment about bounced checks above.
Growing up, my parents didn’t really talk about money with me and my sister. I remember learning about checkbooks in 5th grade math class but that didn’t stick. We had one unit on finance in 7th grade Home Economics.
My husband listened to talk radio during his commute and would tell me what he learned from the finance shows. We used Dave Ramsey’s snowball method to pay off our credit card debt. We made a pointed effort to talk about money and finances with our daughter.
I have been open with her about our financial situation now because I don’t want her to worry, I want her to understand that we are secure and can afford college and other big expenses.
17. Do you have any tips for frugal travel or vacations?
I always bring snacks and water whenever I go anywhere. I get hangry very quickly and need something to hand. That has probably saved a lot of money over the years. 😉
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Robin, I just love your cats! They are so cute all hanging out together, and it made me smile to see them sitting on plans and puzzles; my cats also both really love to sit on whatever we are working on.
I am sending you so much love over the loss of your husband. It is really, really tough to lose a loved one so quickly. I can imagine that the adjustment to your daughter going off to college will be a little challenging too...that's so much adjustment squished into a couple of years.
But I am sure that there will be beautiful things about this new phase for you too, and your heart will be so happy that she is at a college with so much meaning for you.
I'm so glad that my post about my own life upheaval have encouraged you. You are right in saying that there are some similarities! We are both navigating a set of present circumstances that is very different than what we originally imagined.
Thank you so much for de-lurking to participate; it was lovely to meet you!
Readers, the floor is yours!
(I let Robin know her post was gonna go up today, and I said that I hope she will break her 15-year no-commenting streak to come and chat with you all, at least just for today. 😉 )
Robin I love your cats! I have three cats too and love puzzles, but I've been afraid they'd make a big mess of them if I put one out.
Robin, I can't imagine how challenging the past few years have been for you. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. I'm sure your daughter's connection to his university will be a source of comfort and keep both of you feeling close to him in the years ahead. Best wishes to your daughter as she graduates and moves into the exciting world of young adulthood! Your comment about your local library caught my attention. We, too, live in a small rural community, and our rather small library has a really big heart. It's not just a library, but a true community center for the residents in our area. It offers plenty of classes and events for all ages, and the wonderful staff makes everyone feel welcome. We appreciate our local library just as much as you do yours. The first cat photo might have made Kristen giggle, but the pic of them in the dishwasher made me laugh out loud. They are quite the characters!
The cats in the dishwasher!
Oh, My.
I can't imagine the challenges of going through your husband's illness and passing.
My condolences. I am glad you and your daughter have each other to help remember and heal.
Love that your daughter's choice of college holds such connections for you and her.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Your comments about being a late adopter resonate with me. I get frustrated with the amount of pressure just about everywhere to give up a cell phone number and be connected to everything.
@Bell, but is our privacy worth an occasional "free" sandwich - no it is not.
Hi Robin! Thank you so much for commenting in this most public and long-form way. It sounds as if you and your daughter have really worked to keep living in the way your husband wanted you to do.
I loved all the photos of your flowers. So pretty. Wisconsin is much better for growing them than New Mexico. 🙂
Hi Robin, it was a joy to "meet" you and read your post this morning! Wishing you and your daughter the very best. Thanks for sharing your story with us!!
Hands across the miles from one recent widow to another, Robin. Truer words were never written than your "Create a plan A, B and C for emergencies because your circumstances can change very quickly." My circumstances didn't change as quickly as yours did, but I needed various plans all the same. And I admire how fully and well you, your daughter, and your cats have carried out your husband's wish that you shouldn’t stop living your lives.
Hi Robin: my sympathies to you about the loss of your husband. It's utterly dreadful.
Your cats are adorable and I love your quirky garden photos, especially the old utility sink with flowers and the red wagon. I'm currently on the lookout for an old dinghy or rowboat to repurpose as a planter.
I hope you become a part of the Commentariat! Come on in, the water's fine.
My heart goes out to you. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. Thank you for sharing your financial experiences surrounding this and the importance of financial preparedness.
Your photographs are wonderful! The photo of the cats in the dishwasher made me smile. I have never had a cat do that before…
I do have a question regarding your beautiful flowers. I love flowers and grow many. However, the vegetation in Florida where I live is much different. In the 8th photo from the top, just before the 4th question, there is a vignette with a wreath and two container gardens. The one on the right appears to have yellow petunias along with a purplish flower I don’t recognize. Do you know what that flower is? It’s lovely.
@Bee, Coneflower/echinacea.
@Bee, I'm curious about the flowers too! All the containers and gardens look beautiful. If I'm looking at the right container, there are purple flowers that look kind of like lantana to me. I'll be interested if Robin tells us. (And speaking of gardens, I forgot to say - wow, a year's worth of spaghetti sauce; my mouth is watering)
@Suz, I think it is lantana. @Bee, of course I managed to name the wrong purple flowers on the wrong pic, sigh.
@Bee, I think it is a Lascar Verbena. I bought that pot of flowers because I liked the color combination and it saved time. 🙂
@Rose,
But you're right about the coneflower in one of the other photos! I love coneflower. They're native to Ohio.
@Liz B.,
*coneflowers* plural....sigh....
Hi Robin! Thank you very nuch for the interview and a glimpse into your life.
I know what it means to became a widow. My husband also died after a battling cancer for some years. I agree, that divorce might cause the same kind of feeling deprived and great, great grieve. I do think though while being divorced the kids don't necessarily loose a parent. But now my sons and your daughter are half orphaned and miss their father very much.
The pictures of your cats are so funny - living with them must be very nice and funny at times.
I almost fainted when reading about the costs of the concert treatment. It makes me so grateful for our health insurance system here in Germany! Having to deal with insurance companies and a life threatening disease at the same time.....that must be so, so hard.
Take care and all the best for your future. I do think you have a lot going for you!
@Lea,
I know you did not mean any harm, and your children must miss their father greatly. However, a child of divorce often feels profound loss. This loss is different from the separation that comes from death, but it is very real and is often ignored.
Yes, both parents are alive, but the entire family dynamic changes. This undermines a child’s feelings of stability as the structure of their lives changes - new home, two homes, new school, stress, money issues, hurt, anger, custody battles, and so on.
The child sometimes feel a great sense of rejection thinking that they are unloved and unwanted. Children can even blame themselves the divorce. Children in this circumstance need our compassion always.
@Bee, also the parent living away from them often can't be bothered to make the increased effort to interact with them.
@Bee, and @Anne,
Thank you for pointing this out. Lea, I agree that you meant no harm; my bff is still dealing with the aftermath of her recent divorce, and her kids have suffered greatly in so many ways - financially and emotionally, to name two. Their narcissist dad has tried to reach out to them - he lives in a different state nowhere close to where they live - but he refuses to take any blame in what happened (99.9% "blame" for the divorce, if not 100%, is due to his actions). I could go on, but you get the point. I am thankful my bff has a good head on her shoulders, and has close friends and family that are there for her and the kids.
@Liz B., at some point, the kids will realize they are better off without said narcissist. And so is their rock solid mother. Kids aren't stupid, they pick up on far more than most realize.
Hi Robin - thank you for sharing your story! I'm so sorry you lost your husband. What a neat connection that your daughter will be going to his alma mater/where he worked. Hopefully that means it's not too distant, which would be nice so your daughter isn't too far away. Do you have a location picked out for the graduation trip?
Your ducks in the pool made me laugh. Wild ducks occasionally decide our pool would be the perfect home - I enjoy watching them, at least for a little while, but my husband has no interest at all. He waves his arms and hollers and they flap their wings and quack back at him. He has to get quite close before they bother to fly away.
@Suz, My old pool was free-form and black-bottom; it was designed to look a natural pond. Of course there were always ducks, turtles, frogs, etc in it. Sigh.
@Rose, Yes, we back up to woods, so us too! The worst for us was a big angry snapping turtle stuck in the skimmer basket - you had to reach down to grip the basket to pull it straight up, and he was really wedged in there, and fought back with every available body part.
@Suz, Snapping turtles are so prehistoric looking! I had a huge one stuck in a garden edifice once. I used a broom to poke it out. I'd rather retain all my fingers. Of course I sarcastically yelled, "You're welcome, turtle," as it clambered away.
@Suz, she will be just over an hour away at college. Just the right distance to spread her wings but close enough to easily come home for a visit. We haven't fully decided but are leaning towards England as our destination. We need to book airline tickets soon because prices keep going up.
Robin,
I'm sending so much love and support your way. It sounds like you and your daughter are navigating these new waters as well as can be.
Jeana
Your gardens are gorgeous. So sorry about the loss of your hubby. Give yourself lots of grace while moving forward.
It was very nice to meet you!!
So nice to meet you Robin I loved your pictures so much, especially the sunset pictures which are my favorite to take. While reading your post I lingered over every picture and will go back and view them again.
Your answer to #8----yes!
I use my technology until it dies.
My husband's I-phone is at least 10 years old. It's so tiny, it's laughable.
@Denise, BUT please consider updates, particularly security updates. Even, like me, you do NOTHING financial on your phone, the inability to take updates is paramount. Plus upgrading to a new iPhone is pretty easy peasy. We buy our phones outright and continue on a month to month plan.
Good morning,Robin
As a crazy cat lady,I'm loving your pictures!
It's wonderful how willing they are "to help".
Please accept my deepest sympathy on your husband's loss,I went through it 18 years ago after 3 weeks from diagnosis to his death, sometimes I wonder how I didn't lose my mind.
You have so much to look forward to, your daughters graduation and summer!!!!
P.S. that's an amazing amount of tomatoes!
Thank you for jumping in and doing Meet the Reader. I agree with many of your perspectives.
My cats love to sit on my puzzles too! Though one helped me find a particular piece I was looking for the other day by flicking it on the floor with his tail.
I am so sorry about your husband. Best of luck to your daughter as she enters this new phase!
The southeastern area of Wisconsin is beautiful! We were just in Racine to visit my husband's family (we live in South Carolina).
Thanks for sharing today! I enjoyed reading. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband.
The cats!!!!!!!!!! We have two, and I have photos of mine doing similar things.
I was part of the sandwich generation for many years, and it was tough. I can't imagine losing my spouse in that time frame, too. My heart goes out to you.
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter. My daughter (my youngest) is also graduating this spring and plans on attending a private university. Wishing you well as you navigate the transition!
I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband and for your daughter to lose her father so young. I lost my father to Pancreatic cancer, 20 years ago this June, so I understand how devastating the disease is.
Your flowers are so beautiful and your cats too! They look plenty mischievous, lol.
Sounds like you are doing everything right in your circumstances and I wish your daughter the best of luck in college. I know she will get comfort going to a school her dad attended and worked at.
Thank so much for sharing your story! I love your pictures and all of your advice.
A few years ago, I signed up to pay for Walmart grocery delivery. It's so worth it. I work full-time and am now power of attorney for my mother who has Alzheimer's. I've moved her near me. I also volunteer for one group. I need the extra time and don't feel bad paying the fee.
@PBE - I pay for Kroger delivery in my area and it's 1000% worth it. I've been grocery shopping for my family for almost 35 years and it's such a time hog and something I don't enjoy. I live in a rural area and our local grocery stores are very expensive so I've got to travel to neighboring areas and that adds about 1.5 hours to the (round) trip. I only have weekends off so the minutes are precious and filled with a million other things that have to be done. Sometimes if I go to lunch in a neighboring town that has Trader Joe's, I'll go in and stock up on some stuff that is exclusive to TJ's. But other than that, Kroger has reasonable prices and good quality. Anything I can't get from them, I use either Amazon or Target to which I get free shipping on.
Robin, thanks for giving us a chance to meet you! I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and all the unwanted changes that has brought. I admire that you and your daughter are following his wishes to keep moving forward.
I loved the cat pictures; I know they must give you a lot of laughs.
Best wishes as you and your daughter enter the college phase.
Robin, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs! It seems like many of us here have lost loved ones, in different ways, and it's just such a rough time. I hope that you and your daughter (and parents and in-laws) find joy in the things that you do - especially your daughter attending a college that has such special meaning to you all. It was fun to see your kitties and hear about you. 🙂
Robin, pancreatic family came calling in my family, also. I truly wish you and your daughter all the best.
"I don’t like household appliances connected to Wi-Fi; I want straightforward appliances that will last a long time."
ME TOO!
@Molly, Or as my son says, "Who doesn't want to play GTA on their fridge?"
@Molly, I get irked when my one microwave said "enjoy your meal" when time ended. However did society survive and thrive without a smart - heavy sarcasm.
Robin, my heart goes out to you at the loss of your husband. So much change to deal with while your heart is broken. I also love all the pictures of your cats. So sweet how snuggly they are with one another. Thanks for sharing part of your life with us.
Cats in the dishwasher! Hilarious!!
Lovely photos of your flowers, pool ducks, old wash tub fuchsia, wagon plants, all very nice. Having a Plan B & C is always a good idea. I also enjoy and am informed by how people live life. Keep up the good work. Glad to meet you, thank you for taking the time and effort to show us a bit of your story.
Thank you for your interview! I just spent several days with my recently widowed sister, and listened to the life changes she is going through. I was relieved to hear that you and your husband's planning left things so that you are not in a financial bind and can send your daughter to college. Best wishes as you and your daughter navigate this difficult period of your life.
I love your flowers and your cats; the cats are hilarious. I never had a cat get in my dishwasher, although I've had to pull a dog's head out of it once or twice.
I don't want connected appliances either.
Thank you for commenting. I'll hope you'll join us now and then in the comments.
Hello, Robin, and thanks for writing!
My condolences to you on what was surely a terrible wake-up call financially, to put it mildly! But it sounds like you have such a good head on your shoulders and have learned some great money lessons. (the checkbook thing - OY, me, too) I had someone try (and fail) to fix the ice maker on my fridge lately, and he told me that when I go to replace the whole thing, pick a basic model. (which I have, anyway) He said, you don't need a computer in your appliances, and I think that's exactly right! Love seeing the kitties and garden, too.
It sounds like you are very wise to trade a little extra money for a bit of time back in your life (I am thinking of the grocery delivery). Working full time, as a suddenly -single-parent, that sounds very worth it indeed. Not to mention helping your parents and in laws as they age. You have a lot on your plate. I am thankful that your husband had life insurance and retirement accounts so that you are comfortable in that regard.
Thanks for sharing your story.
@JP, you can make more money but you can't make more time. Time is your most precious resource. Oh and you can't make more land either.
Hi everyone, I have finally delurked. Thank you for the kind comments. It has turned into a busy day at work so I will come back later today to answer questions. Naturally Meowy is sitting on me and helping me type. We do love our cats, they are fun characters but also very sweet. We adopted Pumpkin and Tabby as kittens, they are sisters. We were lucky that our older cat Meowy accepted them right away, they snuggle more with him than they do with each other. One of the things I love most about our property is being able to see sunrises and sunsets. We lived in an urban area before we moved here and the surrounding houses and trees blocked our view.
@Robin, Oh I can see why - I meant to compliment your gorgeous colored skies. Riches!
Just letting you know my heart is with you on the passing of your husband. Grief is a terrible path to walk and also the price we pay for love.
I admire how you and your daughter have carried on during your husband's illness and passing. I cannot imagine how difficult it has been. On another note, the cats in the dishwasher really made me laugh, partly because last week my husband had the bottom shelf out while cleaning the filter and our Dane tried to climb in. We are fortunate his 160 lb. bulk did not bust the door off. I loved the ducks in the pool, too. We had Indian runners and Buff Orpingtons for a time and I loved watching them, but they were a messy bunch and their love of and need for plenty of water made them too hard to winter over in our climate. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
@Lindsey, this winter was the first in 8 years that I didn't have to carry water out to ducks on frigid days and it was delightful. They were fun pets and I am glad my daughter was able to experience raising and showing ducks. But I am also happy to be duck free now. We visit our neighbor's chicken flock when we miss poultry.
It’s so nice to meet you Robin! my favorite part of the post? Your use of the word “commentariat” my family loves words, and that’s a good one! 🙂
Nice to meet you, Robin! I am so very sorry for your loss.
And thumbs-up to awesome libraries!
@Jody S., wholly concur. Irks me when libraries become targets. Schools and libraries should be safe havens for kids (libraries for adults too).
Robin, I'm glad you shared your story today. I join the others in extending my deepest sympathy to you and your family on the death of your husband. Given the odds, many of us will go through something similar at some point and I appreciate your sharing your experience. Your advice to have a backup plan to a backup plan is wise. I'm glad that you and your daughter have financial security to carry on.
The pictures of your cats made me smile and your photography is lovely. Thank you for posting!
Oh, Robin, I am so sorry you and your daughter are having to experience life without your husband. I've had to be a caregiver for my grandmother and my parents and it is not easy, esp. if you're the only one they have. Your flowers, ducks and kitty-cats are all beautiful (I'm sure your daughter is, too) and I'd love to see your Victorian house. It was always my dream to have an old fashioned 19th Century Victorian house, but that never came to pass. Congrats to your soon-to- be graduate, and may her college experience be fantastic!
Robin, I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I can’t imagine how difficult that has been. I love how your daughter is honoring his memory by attending his alma mater; that is so special. I like the idea of living in a rural area. I grew up in rural CT and couldn’t wait to escape, but now that I’m getting older, it is very appealing to me.
It's been so nice to meet you, Robin! I've only recently started commenting occasionally, though I do reply to other commenters pretty frequently. Your story resonated with me in so many ways - but not knowing how to balance a checkbook really made me laugh in recognition. As a single adult newly on my own, I *thought* I knew what I was doing...and kept doing it for years....until I got married, and my hubby had to sort through the mess that was my checking account. Heh. 🙂
Also, I work in a hospital that seems to be constantly adding on, building, and rehabbing....a new floor just opened, and apparently, some things in the rooms were not well thought out. We need people with your skills!
I just might be stealing some of your fun gardening ideas.....we have an old washtub kicking around in the garage....
And I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. Years ago, a young man at work was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He fought so very hard through all the surgery and chemo, and passed away 6 months before his son was born. It's a terrible, terrible disease, as you well know. I admire you and your daughter moving forward in life, as he had wished for you both. Best of luck to you and your daughter as she gets ready for college!
@Liz B.,
I forgot to mention your adorable cats....the snuggle puddle in the first photo, to the dishwasher kittens....so cute!
Hi Robin,
I love the great photos of your cats—especially the dishwasher!
I wanted to say that I can really relate to your post. I am a long-time reader, and I may have only commented once or twice.
My husband was diagnosed with ALS right before Covid and died at the end of 2021. Our son was 16 and is now just finishing his freshman year of college.
I too am in the sandwich generation with my elderly parents who also need help and my MIL as well. It's a lot. I echo your sentiment about creating plans A, B and C. You just never know where life will go.
I have also appreciated Kristen's positivity and her frugal inspiration over the years and the lovely group here that has so many great tips and positive thoughts.
My heart goes out to you. I wish you the best as you send your daughter to school.
It sounds like she is on a good path, and it's wonderful that there is a connection with that path and your husband.
Thank you for sharing.
I'm so sorry about your husband. I'm not sure that there's any sort of pancreatic cancer other than aggressive. That's what my mother finally succumbed to but she had a good life first and saw her children grown and established. You have my full sympathies.
You sure started your commenting career with a bang! I hope you continue to speak up (but only if you want to), your perspective would be a valuable one.
The kitties in the dishwasher was a hoot. I've never seen that particular one before.
Northwestern is a good university - I put that college on the table for one of my kiddos. We had parameters for colleges we'd pay for kiddo to attend. Shouldn't be too bad a drive (being in the Midwest, I have a good idea where you're located I think).
Kudos for your emergency fund AND life insurance (LTD too I suspect - sad to say disability is more likely but sorry not in your case).
Cats are always helping - the two I have now are not interested in helping me work - they find it boring. But one lets me know when it is quitting time lol.
While I am not anti-financial planner, some are better than others. Some provide tons of paper with colored charts but zippo on investment symbols or the ability to download information from their website (unrealized net loss/gain info). If you still have the information, PLEASE retain the cost of each investment - it will help you long term.
Birth order determines the size of your sandwich. My parents were the oldest children as am I. By the time my last grandparent passed, both my kiddos were out of college. It could have been so different.
Robin, your post and pictures just made my day.It’s been a stressful week around my house.My husband backed my car into a BIG truck and well, it will be about 2000 to fix. Also I had a small health issue and had to start on a med..was tryign NOT to.. but, I am getting older na dhave to adjust to some things.
I LOVE the kitties, your beautiful acreage and that cemetery next door!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, what a lot of adjustment and emotions that brings.. you have the support of everyone here.
Hearing of your daughter’s school plans is joyous! She will graduate wihtout debt, a huge blessing in life.
I hope you enjoy that trip you have planned.
Appreciate that you took time to share with us,I also just love hearing how others live frugally.I had to be frugal in the early days of marriage and child rearing.. and most of our lives, but even when we got good jobs and paid off our home, in retirement now, those frugal habits remain!
Hello from a fellow Northwestern alum, long time FG reader, and rare-if-ever commenter. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and I hope your daughter has the same wonderful experience that I did at Northwestern. Go Cats!
Thank you, Robin, for your touching and inspiring post. I too am a "cat lady"; I have four cats. The photos of your kitties are hilarious!
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I'm glad that as a couple, you both worked on financial goals together that set up security for the family.
Wow that is so special that your daughter will be able to attend your husband's alma mater and former work place <3
Just … Go ‘Cats! I hope your daughter loves her time there 🙂 (I write from my own purple hoodie that has survived 20+ years.)
I love your openness with your daughter about finances. My kids are elementary and middle school and were in that same camp of figuring out how much of our financial picture to share, trying to model budgeting and strategizing what you want your money to go to, and helping them grasp the basics.
Hi Robin! I love those triple cat photos and loved reading about your property, gardens, and ducks. Thanks for the great post and for being part of the FG community!
Hi, Robin! I'm also in Wisconsin. The Midwest is a great place to be frugal. We can get a lot of value for a little cash.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks so much for posting. Love your photos. Do you know about Social Security Survivor benefits? My Hubby's orange tabby whom I never
met was named Meow. Good luck to you and your family.
Lol. I love it...the 'commentariat'!
Sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. It IS hard and very different to not have your life partner there with you. I am glad that you had finances well in order.
I’m so sorry for you and your daughter. You sound like a lovely
person with a sound mind. I too lost my husband at age 41. It’s been 23 years but sometimes my head still reels from the loss but I’m here to tell you you’re going to be ok. You’ll never be the same but you have the fortitude to move forward. Take care of yourself. Love the kitties!
Hi R,
So sorry for your loss. My hubby suffered a stroke at the start of the year and by the grace of God survived. I cannot even imagine losing him. College is such a great new and joyful adventure and you and your daughter will build new memories. I love puzzles too!