Meet a Reader | Karen from the Great Lakes
Hello, everyone! Today we're meeting a reader who is an artist, a homeschooler, a boy-mom, and a renter by choice.
Here's Karen:
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I'm Karen A. I'm fifty years old, married almost 25 years, with four sons of various ages ranging from all grown up to still-working-on-it. 😉
For 20 or so years I've been homeschooling my kids, and am now down to about 1 ½ (one full-time homeschooler, and one doing College Credit Plus with some support). I live in the Great Lakes region, in the same state where I was born.
My hobbies range from reading to painting, pen-and-ink drawing, cooking/baking, and writing.
Currently, I'm editing a book my son wrote and getting it ready to publish on Amazon KDP, where I've published a book of poetry and three other books my son has written.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
Oh, gosh. I cannot remember how long I've been a reader. I know I found The Frugal Girl through the Non-Consumer Advocate, and I've read nearly all the archives. Maybe four years?
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
Back when I was engaged and living on my own for the first time (I lived with my parents while in grad school to save on rent), I went to the library a lot and found a copy of the Tightwad Gazette.
I was not raised by frugal people, but my fiance (now husband) was very frugal, and I wanted to learn how to adopt some of the same mindset so we could be on the same page. (This has taken longer than the year we were engaged; it's a lifelong process to become frugal after being raised to be not-frugal!)
Eventually, when I was married and working at a library I ordered my own copy of the Complete Tightwad Gazette--and I still have it!
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
We are very blessed that my husband earns enough so that I have been able to stay at home and homeschool--so my "why" in saving money is to balance that out. I figure I may not be "earning" money, but I can earn by saving.
We also want to get our kids through college without them having loans to pay back, and we are 1 out of 4 on that so far!
I also want to have a sense of detachment from owning things, which is hard since I was raised by very acquisitive parents (my mom shopped for a hobby), so I am still unlearning those habits. We also like to have enough means to travel and visit family and friends, so being frugal in some areas helps us be generous in others.
5. What's your best frugal win?
Best frugal win: I guess two, one is learning to cut hair, as I've mentioned before in my comments here. This would also go under "what single action has saved the most money over your life".
During my "study" of The Tightwad Gazette I saw a short article about giving home haircuts. I mentioned it to my fiance and he asked me to please cut his hair for him, using the article as a guide! He said he hated going to haircutting places and having strangers cut his hair, and they never got it right.
He pointed out that I had studied sculpture and this was sort of similar, so I used a pair of office scissors and cut his hair a week before our wedding. He loved it, although his mother asked him at the rehearsal dinner if he shouldn't go get a haircut! 😀
I've been cutting his hair ever since, for 24 years, and we estimate it's saved anywhere from $5,000 to $6,000, more when you add in that I also give haircuts to our four sons.
The other frugal win was we have been able to purchase two vehicles outright, with no loans. This only happened after we stopped owning homes and became renters.
6. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
The most embarrassing money mistake I've made was purchasing a home.
After our second son was born, we were renting a house that the owner was also hoping to sell, and they were showing it, and I was stressed out and worried about moving with a baby...and we bought the house.
Biggest mistake ever. It was a huge money pit, we got horrible neighbors, and it took us years to sell, and my husband put way too much time and work into fixing the problems the house had, only for us to sell it at a huge loss to people who gutted it anyway.
That did teach us a lesson about home ownership: that it was something we were taught was a mark of being an adult, but really, when you "own" a home, unless you've paid off the mortgage, the bank is your landlord and you're just renting. We rent now and are much happier. We've saved so much on home improvement projects--when you rent you don't worry about such things!
And I love knowing that if we want to move, it's a lot easier because we don't have to worry about selling a house. Every time we've owned a home we ended up with horrible neighbors, but renting, I don't worry as much about that--if the neighborhood goes south, we can move easily. People are surprised that we are in our fifties and renting, but it works for us.
I've often wished to be able to go back in time and undo that house purchase, it would have saved our family so much trouble and money!
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
Splurges: Shoes, books and art supplies. Good shoes are essential for me, as I have accessory navicular syndrome and like to be active.
I adore books, but I try to keep my collection down to one bookshelf. I have a rule now that if I want to buy a book, I need to donate one.
And art supplies: I like to paint and draw, so every now and then I splash out.
I also will pay more for some specialty food items, as I have several food allergies to deal with, and we eat a no-sugar diet. I also splurge on our cat's special allergen-reducing food, which makes it possible for Ms. Allergic Girl (me) to have a cat again!
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Makeup, nail polish, and clothes. I haven't worn makeup in about twenty years or so, I can't remember the last time I painted my nails, and I detest shopping for clothes.
I have a "uniform" I wear, usually shorts or leggings and a sleeveless top with a sweater. I wore uniforms in high school and I prefer not thinking about what I need to wear.
I was intensely irritated to have to buy a skirt and a head covering to visit a relative's church (all the women there dress conservatively and veil their heads, and I didn't want to be disrespectful).
But I had to SHOP for clothes. Ugh.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Hmmm, probably some art supplies to finish a project I'm working on, then any clothes my kids needed, or household things we need, and put the rest in savings.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
Easiest part of being frugal: Not buying things like junk food at the grocery store.
It's a little like having a superpower, walking by the Starbucks without getting in line, or zooming by the snack aisles in the grocery store (we only buy chips and things like that for special treats).
Hardest part of being frugal: Not buying other things!
I grew up with a mom who loved to shop, and I can sometimes fall prey to "retail therapy" when I'm feeling down, and it's so easy with Amazon...I try to reserve my book splurges and such for when I have Amazon reward points to use.
Sometimes I read what everyone here is getting up to and I feel distinctly un-frugal, but I try to remember that frugality is a spectrum. I probably land somewhere halfway between Amy Daczyzyn and the Kardashians. 😉
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
Where I live seems to be a lot more affordable than places like the East Coast--when I visit a friend in Virginia, or Florida, I'm shocked by the grocery store prices.
We have a lot of free parks and nature reserves for hiking, and a wonderful library system that does free Inter Library Loans as well as lots of e-books.
Also, we're by a military base, so it's a little easier to find houses to rent if you know when people will be PCSing out and needing to rent out their homes. And because my husband has access to the military base we can use their lake and camping sites which are much less crowded than the civilian areas.
12. Are there any frugal things you've tried and abandoned?
Cloth diapering. I really gave it a try with my second, but I had a horrible time keeping them from retaining...smells...and then we had our third before #2 was potty trained, so it was disposables from then on. I consoled myself with the thought that I rarely buy paper towels and use cloth napkins, so it all balances out.
Also, growing our own food. I just couldn't balance it with homeschooling and other things that needed doing.
Plus the animals seemed to always get our food before we could pick it! I do want to try growing things in pots, though--like tomatoes and herbs. I'd like to grow our own catnip for Mr. Clark!
13. How has reading the Frugal Girl changed you?
I make bone broth now! And I am more conscious of eating leftovers and avoiding food waste.
I try to mend things more often, even if my needle skills are pretty lame.
I have always been an ardent declutterer (to my husband's chagrin--once I accidentally threw out an automobile registration while cleaning out the car!), and among my favorite Frugal Girl posts are the decluttering/cleaning before and afters!
14. Did you ever receive any financial education in school or from your parents?
Ha! Not at all.
My mother grew up on a farm, and from her accounts my grandmother and grandfather (who also was a foreman at the local glass factory, along with being an independent farmer) were frugal, and sometimes times were tight.
My grandpa would shoot squirrels when they needed meat, and they had a big garden and my grandmother baked her own bread. My mom saw all this as poverty, and was embarrassed by it (especially when my grandmother served squirrel meat to my dad when he was courting my mom! She said she wanted the floor to just open up and swallow her, she was so mortified!).
So she only felt secure when she was spending money, and became a shopaholic. My dad grew up upper-middle-class; his father was a chemist and they lived close enough to New York City to take the train in and see the shows, where my great-grandfather worked on Broadway. Their motto was, if we have the cash, let's do it. If we want it, let's buy it. Don't shop at the "poor places" (KMart was one of those, as well as the dollar stores).
I know my dad got frustrated by the bills sometimes, and I must have absorbed that anxiety, because sometimes I get very anxious about spending money.
When I discovered the Tightwad Gazette it was eye-opening, and I remember trying to share some of the things I read about with my mom--like saving butter wrappers for greasing pans--and she would just roll her eyes at me.
15. Do you have any tips for frugal travel or vacations?
When we travel, we always drive.
We've discovered flying, while it seems more convenient, has sometimes taken us just as long as driving would if there are delays! Also we can stop when we want or need to.
When we do stop, my pro tip: Don't use gas station bathrooms (unless you're at a really nice toll road stop, and then they're okay!)
Find a grocery store or a Walmart or Target because the restrooms are nicer and if you need snacks they're cheaper there as well.
My husband needs to attend conferences for his work, and if we can manage it we combine that with a family trip--this last month I went with him down to Florida, along with our youngest (the three older boys stayed home due to college class commitments and work).
Combining things this way kills two birds with one stone: DH gets to put in his work at the conference, while I and whatever kids come with us get to explore a new area.
We try to rent a house with a full kitchen, and even some hotels now have suites with fridges and microwaves, so we hit the grocery store on the way to the hotel or house and grab frozen meals (in the case of hotels) and groceries (for a house where we're staying longer).
Even if we don't end up using all the food we buy, it's cheaper than eating out.
16. What is something you wish more people knew?
I wish people knew that a lot of being frugal involves experimenting.
I was baking some brownies for a friend and remembered that her daughter was vegan, so I wanted to adapt my sugar free recipe to use flax eggs instead. I didn't know it would work. But I tried anyway, figuring I would be out some ingredients, but I made a half-batch.
They were actually better than the recipe that called for eggs, so now when we make brownies, we always use flax eggs instead. It's healthier, and when eggs were incredibly expensive, it was much more economical (still is since I buy flaxmeal in bulk).
Try things! If it doesn't work, then you're no worse off than you were.
17. What single action or decision has saved you the most money over your life?
Probably marrying my husband. 🙂
He's very frugal and always thinking of a better way to do things. But he's not, as the Scots would say, mingy. He's generous with his time and resources, he's just always looking for a more economical way of doing things so we can be better stewards of the gifts we've been given.
Thank you, Kristen, for all you do with your blog! It's one of the bright spots on the internet, as far as I'm concerned. I always love reading your posts, and perusing the comments to get even more ideas and soak up the supportive community feel you've created here.
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Karen, your number 16: YES. I say this all the time. If it's low stakes, try it and see! That's how I've figured out a lot of things.
Also, I love your cat! He's like a really fluffy version of Shelley. So cute!
As you know, I just finished my homeschooling journey since my fourth graduated last spring. What are your plans for when you are done homeschooling?
I love that you guys have made a conscious decision to rent. So much financial advice focuses on buying a house as the be-all, end-all, but that is not always the right choice for everyone!
Hi Karen! I love your description of your sons. I don't have a teenager, I have boys who are still working on growing up. Well, I guess they all are, it's just the younger ones don't so much work at it as careen towards it. 🙂
After years of living in rural homes where everything is our problem--and there are lots of problems--my husband and I talk all the time about living in an apartment complex or townhouse where you can just call management to take care of issues. We're a long way from that, but maybe someday.
@kristin @ going country, I hear you! In one of our rentals, the AC unit outside completely broke. It was nice to not be responsible for that large thing. But even as renters, we try to fix the smaller things on our own. When the wall thermostat broke, DH found a replacement online and installed it, rather than call the handyman our landlords have in town. He's a bit of a Woodchuck, like your husband, and would rather fix it himself than have strangers come in the house.
And yes, the younger ones tend to take two big steps forward, one step back sometimes as they stumble towards growing up. 😉
@kristin @ going country,
The grass is not always "greener" when you rent, whether a house or an apartment. Owners/managers are not always prompt in responding and sometimes won't even do what you need. It really is a crapshoot and you often have little to no control over who fixes things (and who can often make things worse by doing incomplete or poor jobs of fixing things).
We know cause we've been there, done that. The lack of control over any vendors needed for repairs, and not being allowed to choose? The limits on what renovations we could do, even if we paid for them? Very very frustrating and problematic.
@Irena, I agree. We just left a rental property with a terrible landlord. Weeks to get things fixed, let us go without water 4 days, and vendors that don't show up (while you sit around and wait for them). But apartment living had none of those problems. It had a whole other set of issues.
Nice to meet you, Karen! I like that you point out the balance of time and frugality. There are only so many hours in the day, right? While certainly homeschooling allows us to incorporate certain tasks and call them "school" (gardening, arts/crafts/other creative endeavors), we still can't do it all.
@Jody S., And the last thing homeschoolers want to do is burn out. I have a sister in law who seems to be always on the edge of burnout because she tries to Do All The Things and Do Them Properly, and the end result is just stress.
Probably the most productive craft that was also homeschooling was the books my son wrote/is writing; his younger brother has done quite a few of the illustrations, and the practice of writing (and having mom edit them, ha) has honed his writing skills to the point where his writing professor complimented him in front of the class. So as much as those projects sometimes seemed overwhelming, especially when I was learning how to upload documents in Amazon's Kindle Direct Printing program, in the end it was quite worth it.
@Karen A., One of my sons literally cannot read his own handwriting-- even after occupational therapy. And, because nothing in life can be easy, he was also gifted with a way with words. He wants to be a writer. Rather, I should say he wants to be a published writer. And because of that drive, he is learning the editing, etc. It is an education, indeed, where passion is involved.
What has been your experience with the self-publishing route?
@Jody S., Kindle Direct Publishing is pretty good; if he is tech savvy, he should be able to figure it out no problem. I first did it with my book of poems to learn how to do it, so we could publish my son's books. There was some head-banging-on-monitor for me, but I am not very tech savvy. We haven't earned hardly anything from these books, but it has been fun! And if you just go with the Kindle publishing, the books are very affordable for others. We wanted some hard copy books to give as gifts, and those were pricey because our books were lengthy.
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/
@Jody S.,
I'm am OT with a kid with illegible handwriting and an absolute gift for words. It wasn't for lack of trying. I finally made peace with it and said kid is doing just fine in adult life. Funny story, kid broke dominant wrist just before AP English test that contained handwritten essay. School did the appropriate paperwork for him to have the accommodation to type essay. It was great!
Thanks for sharing, Karen! I mentioned it here before, but my husband and I owned homes until he went back to college in his early 40s, and we've been renting ever since (10 years). I also find it freeing. The downside is that we move a lot more often - but I've gotten pretty good at it, haha. At this point I seriously doubt we will buy another home (not going to say never), and that's just fine. Like you mentioned, I'm also happy to not have to make repairs to the structure or upgrades or deal with things like HOAs. Not to mention trying to get homeowners insurance in Florida, bleh!
@Brooke, I actually have learned to embrace moving--not wanting to move was what got us that horrible money pit--and I see it as a chance to declutter, live a little more lightly, and learn a new area of our city. We've lived in six different areas now, and it's always fun to explore!
Karen, It is nice to "meet" you. I enjoyed everything about your interview. I especially appreciated this description of your husband: " He’s very frugal and always thinking of a better way to do things. But he’s not, as the Scots would say, mingy. He’s generous with his time and resources, he’s just always looking for a more economical way of doing things so we can be better stewards of the gifts we’ve been given." I see some of myself in it.
@K D, I have learned a lot from him about finding different ways to do things, whether or not it's the "normal" way! Being an engineer he's always looking for the most efficient way as well. And he's a better grocery shopper than me when it comes to finding bargains, but he never stints when there's a special "Allergic Girl" ingredient I need.
Lovely to meet you Karen, thank you for saying how you prefer renting.
Due to our business failing in 2009 we have had to sell and have been renting since then and it’s difficult sometimes when friends and extended family are paying off their 25 year mortgages.
I’m 60 next year and sometimes I do wish we had that security of a paid off home, however the lack of bills and the associated hassle for repairs and maintenance does often outweigh these concerns.
I’m working on changing my mindset but I do slip ever so often, thank you for the reminder! 🙂
@Joanne in the U.K., I think there is a different sort of security in renting, than people find in owning. For me it's the security of knowing that if DH's work changes, moving isn't going to be the hassle it would be if we owned. Heck, we are tossing around ideas of where to look for his next job, and it's very freeing because we don't have to restrict ourselves too much. Right now we have two kids in the local college, but in a few years we won't and we could move, theoretically, anywhere.
I wish there wasn't a stigma on renting, like it's only what young people do or people who "can't afford" to own homes...I know growing up my parents looked askance at renters, thinking that real grownups owned homes! And my DH learned that too. Hopefully we're teaching our kids that there's more than one way to live in this world.
@Karen A., I am very lucky that I own my house free and clear. Although maintaining it is a major expense. I have the security knowing no one is going to put me out on the street. I bought my house almost 15 years ago and prices were not as horribly high as they are today. Unless something major happens, and affordable houses come up for sale at reasonable interest rates, most young people (or any folks who haven't already bought) will never be able to be homeowners. So we all need to drop our prejudice against renters and realize times have changed.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I am so happy for you that you are free of a mortgage! Yes, we made the mistake of buying that money pit house right before the bubble burst in 2008, I want to say. Something like that. We finally sold it to some young folks in 2018 and for an embarrasingly low amount.
@Karen A., Well, at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you were a blessing to the young homebuyers. Or at least your house was. I've made a lot of boo-boos in the money dept. myself, including with the sale of my house in Florida, so you are definitely not alone in that situation.
Karen, it is great getting to know you and Clark is a handsome kitty.
I love the concept that frugality is on a spectrum. I also thought it was interesting that you discussed the financial attitudes of your parents and grandparents. There is just so much that shapes our attitudes towards money and frugality.
I hope you enjoyed your visit to Florida. It has been a very gray, wet, windy winter. And yes, food can expensive here. Florida has grown dramatically and the cost of living in my area has increased along with it —35% or so since 2020. This is one of the challenges of being frugal here.
@Bee, I will pass on the compliment to Clark. He knows he is handsome, but he needs to hear it sometimes. 😉
Florida was beautiful! What the locals considered bad weather, we Ohioans thought was balmy and lovely. At Disney World (yes, we went for one day, as a big surprise belated Christmas present for the kid), it was gray, breezy and threatening rain, but perfect 70 degree temperatures. And we were able to get to the beach every day. My friend who rented us the house said she was fretting because in her opinion January is COLD in Florida, but we were wearing shorts every day!
@Bee, Thanks for letting me know about Florida's cost of living. I moved away in the early 2000s, but sometimes wish I still had the cute little house I owned there. Your information reassures me I made the right choice.
The only problem I found with renting was finding a place that would accept my dogs. I got my first dog when I was a college sophomore, because I'm a crazy dog lady.
Thanks for giving us a peek into your life, Karen! Clark is so cute and I adore that name. Now I'm feeling bad because I bought myself a spring jacket yesterday on impulse. Then again, the old ones are now way too big and/or the handyman threw them out. Maybe I should just embrace being a Kardashian.
@Rose, If something isn't working for you, I don't think it's frugal to struggle with it or do without! That only makes one resent being frugal. At least that's my experience. I have made plenty of impulse buys after denying myself too many things, so I've learned to just really look at what I have and whether it is working or not.
I love Clark's name, too; they named him that at the shelter and we saw no reason to change it. However he also goes by Fluffin, Mr. Fluffin, Fluff, Good Good Cat and Silly Cat, why are you trying to trip me up at 6 am? My youngest says his full name is Clark K. Fluffin, Esq.
@Rose, I am a crazy dog lady, too. When my husband and I got married, we had three big dogs between us … a female pit-mix, a huge male golden retriever (possibly part horse), and a female husky-malamute mix, plus we’d do temp fosters on holidays so their foster parents could travel. On top of that, I spent my Saturday mornings volunteering at a dog shelter. It all started in first grade when I convinced my parents to get a dog. I haven’t been able to live without one since! From experience, it is definitely hard to find a rental when you have big dogs (even when it’s just one).
@JenRR, Our family dog died when I was 7 and my mother swore she'd never get another because she felt so bad when it died. And she didn't get one until about 12 years ago, when my sister fostered a Great Pyrenees that Mom fell in love with. Meanwhile I got one as soon as I could and lived off campus. That was my favorite dog who lived to be 15.
@Rose,
My son found a dog roaming the streets near the College he attended. He wanted to keep this pup, but I was sure that his landlord would not allow it. Since I had secured the lease, I called the rental office.
The landlord laugh. She said that she would much rather deal with animals than people. Dogs never got drunk and punched holes in the wall like so many college boys. However, There was a $200 non refundable pet deposit .
@Karen A., I love animals with full names but not necessarily "official on paper" ones. Kids come up with some of the best names. Also, some of the strangest.
@Karen A., I thought maybe he was named Clark Kat,--a pun for Clark Kent. And yes, he is handsome!
Oh, I like that. All in favor, say "aye"!
@StephanieLD, well, the K does stand for Kent! We introduced the kids to that 90s show, Lois and Clark, the New Adventures of Superman and they're fans. It just worked out that we adopted a Clark. 😉
@Karen A.,
I love his fancy name!!!
Clark K Fluffin, Esq.
So nice to meet you. I live near Lake Superior in the summers.
I truly wish we were renting!!!
Hi Karen, nice to meet you.
I love your comment that frugality is a spectrum. It's so true!
Thank you Karen for your story. I liked the way you shared about your experience with frugality before marriage. My own experience was that my mom was frugal and a little bit of a hoarder. So even though she saved money sometimes she wasted it because she didn't use it. My grandmother was a spender and she would go a visit clothes she wanted to buy and then buy on sale. OR she would just take $XX and spend until it was gone. I also have an aunt who didn't work and would fill her days by shopping (that came out rougher then I meant.) This was also at a time when our whole extended family replaced their wardrobe every season. When she passed away, they found bags from the the 70s and 80s with clothes that were never worn. There are 2 kinds of frugal people...those who spend money and those who don't (I am a little of both.) I think looking back makes us a better "frugalist." Kind of like a what works, what doesn't work kind of thing. I am trying to be more mindful of my possessions.
Also your traveling tips were great. I have been stopping at Walmart for snacks (
think prepared foods) and bathroom breaks since my kids were small. Also several family members over night parked RVs using walmartlocator.com.
@Amy cheapohmom, My MIL is also a hoarder and "frugal", but because she is so afraid of spending money, she is living in a house that is so old and dilapidated it's literally coming down around her ears. It has been since my DH lived there as a child, but we have given up trying to get her to move. She thinks because she owns it outright, it would be wasteful to move without selling it, but I can say 100% that nobody would buy this house even if she did ever declutter it, which she won't.
My mother did the same thing with her wardrobe! She had a spring/summer wardrobe, and a fall/winter wardrobe and she was constantly buying new things. I think she was permanently scarred after being told she couldn't go to the high school prom because they couldn't afford a dress. 😉
Karen, I feel like know exactly what you mean about your mom. My mom too grew up on a farm and her father abandoned the family for his second family so she lived with her mom and grandfather and the cows and such. My dad grew up in relative comfort but never super rich.
My parents never made a lot but boy did mom know how to spend. We never had certain expensive items or vacations but boy did we always have entertainment in the form of cable, VHS tapes, books, CDs etc. Unfortunately this passed down to my brother who is a bit of a hoarder.
Also yes, I always drive. Once when on a vacation I really needed to use the restroom so we got off at the next exit looking for something and my options were a gas station or a Trader Joe's. The TJ was clean and we bought some snacks and drinks for the road. Unfortunately cold drinks are usually lacking at grocery stores (I am a sucker for fountain sodas.)
@Battra92, Trader Joe's sounds like a great stop! I used to shop regularly at Trader Joe's until I realized I was overspending and just mostly getting snacks. Now I go once a year on my birthday or thereabouts, to stock up on my favorite skincare stuff.
And my mom and dad sound a lot like yours--my brother also became a hoarder, I think partly because he was taught to acquire but not how to curate, and my mom was also a "neat freak" and he rebelled against that. He was mostly a paper hoarder. We also ate out a lot--more than once a week--and my parents never made coffee at home but went every morning to Bob Evans for coffee. Even before Starbucks! Ha.
@Karen A.,
My dad was an architect so I learned to curate! (That is such a great word btw.) I love my home and have always cared for it. I learned this from my sweet parents. My husband’s parents were not this way at all. I guess they were borderline hoarders — children of the Great Depression.
My husband and I have been married 38 year. Even now, when I replace something that needs to be replaced, it requires considerable effort to get rid of the item that was replaced. I often receive a great deal of pushback from my husband. I’m not wasteful. I think about every purchase I make, but the anxiety of letting go is deeply ingrained in his psyche.
For example, I just purchased A new ottoman for my family room. The old one was permanently dirty and was torn into places. (My 95 pound dog loved to lay on it.) I purchased a new one after investigating whether or not I could get the old one redone at a reasonable cost. The new one came on Friday and the old one is sitting in the garage until my husband can let it go. But I love him and let him process this unreasonable attachment before. It disappears,
@Bee, I think "curating" is a much gentler, friendlier word than "decluttering." I think I picked up the word when I was working in a library. Some of the librarians would talk about "culling" books that hadn't circulated in a while, others called it curating, especially those working in the local history section. I have a Little Free Library outside our house, and sometimes I have to go through and curate it--so it's not overly stuffed, and I can put new things in--and sometimes some books have to get donated. It doesn't mean I think they're bad, or unworthy, just they've been there a while and it's time to find a new home.
My husband also likes to hold on to things, but mostly because he feels it can be useful in the future. I've learned to put things that are "half broken" in the garage (his domain) and often he does find a use for them! However, he is sentimental about some things. I would happily donate my wedding dress, but he loves it, so he wants to keep it.
@Karen A., A friend of mine also stopped going to trader joe's regularly because, for her, every trip turned into a junk food run, even if that was not her intent. It is hard not to be tempted by all the unique snacks there!
@Bee, I totally hear you! (& our garage shows it : )
@Loraine, I think that's how they hook you, honestly! There were always a few things I thought I couldn't get at Kroger but lately Kroger has stepped up its game, and we get points when shop at Kroger.
Hi, Karen!
And can I just say here that I've always liked the name Karen and I detest the fact that it is now a derogatory name.
I love the pictures of your cat. He reminds me so much of my fluffy, plump tuxedo cat who died a couple of years ago, except my cat wasn't sweet.
You raise good points about renting vs. homeownership. I love having my own home, but even without a mortgage, there are a lot of big expenses associated with owning a home.
Your picture of the bird was adorable. I need to check out that Amazon place you mentioned. I've allowed my drawing skills to slide until I'd be embarrassed to display my drawings anymore. I promise myself that I will get back into it when I'm not spending so many hours away from home. Your picture has added strength to my resolve, thanks!
Finally, greetings from another "Tightwad Gazette" fan!
@JD, Karen is my wonderful mom's name so I especially resent it.
@JD, Aw, thank you! I grew up being the only Karen in elementary, junior, and high school--and there were very few in my college--so I thought I had kind of a unique name for my generation, and I still do like it. But I suppose people need a shorthand to describe people they don't like, sometimes. Thank you for your kind comments!
@Rose, I am a karen and I too resent it. But I am older most Karens are.
But I met a woman who told me her granddaughter is named Karen and did not want to deal with the slurs her whole life so she legally changed her name.
Hey Karen! It’s always refreshing to meet someone else who wants to live frugal, but wasn’t raised that way at all! Would you be willing to share your brownie recipe? We’re trying to zap sugar consumption in our house full of sweet- tooth’s
@Haley, Sure! It is a little finicky, especially when it comes to cutting them up. You need to freeze them, and store them frozen (or refrigerated) or they fall apart a bit. I call them my Special Snowflake Brownies, but the boys do like them. These are also gluten free. We take them on road trips for treats at stops.
1/4 cup ground golden flaxseed meal, in 3/4 cup warm water
3 sticks (yes, 3 sticks) butter, unsalted
1 cup cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups granulated xylitol--I use Xlear brand xylitol, I found it on Amazon
1 tsp vanilla extract
2/3 cup coconut flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon table salt (not kosher salt)
Optional: 3/4 cup Lily's milk chocolate chips (I used to think these were essential, and they are very nice but not essential)
Line a 9x13 cake pan with parchment paper--I lay a piece in it so there are "handles" sticking out so I can later lift the brownies out. The parchment paper is essential here.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix the flaxseed with the warm water and set aside.
Melt the butter in a large bowl, or in a large pot--I prefer a microwavable bowl--and whisk in the cocoa powder. I let it cool a bit here while I whisk together the coconut flour, baking soda and salt.
Add the flaxseed mixture, xylitol and vanilla to the butter and cocoa and whisk well.
Use a spatula to fold in the coconut flour mixture and chocolate chips, if using.
Spread into the prepared pan.
Bake for 40 minutes. They will look soft! You will think they are not baked at all! Let them cool completely at room temperature. I mean, completely.
Then--ever so carefully--use the parchment paper to lift the entire brownie slab out and onto a nice sturdy cooling rack.
Put that brownie slab in the freezer for at least three hours. Once it's frozen solid you'll be able to cut them with a good sturdy bread knife. Store frozen, but in a pinch they can be refrigerated or stored in the trunk while you road trip as long as it's not above 60 degrees outside. 😉
@Karen A., thank you!! They sound fairly quick and easy once you have the ingredients. I can’t wait to give these a try!
@Haley, I hope you guys like them! I've made them for those without dietary restrictions and they were enjoyed. Be aware that xylitol, if you're not used to it, can have an...ahem...effect on your digestive system. As sugar alcohols go, it's better than some, but if you're not used to it, it might be a shock. So build up to it. I'd cut these small and have one in the evening, that's what we do.
Karen,
What struck me the most about your story is that you have given plenty of thought to the various influences around you (parents, mother in particular; fiance/then husband) when it comes to how and what you spend $ on. Those insights have helped you make the choices that work for you. Understanding why we want to spend, or why we don't, is huge in shaping our choices for spending and saving and you really have given it a lot of thought.
I have to ask , given what you said about your mother and shopping and how she felt poor (and probably felt others saw her to her detriment). Did that influence your hatred of shopping? Because I get that you don't need or want an extensive wardrobe but really hating shopping? (Maybe it's the crowds; the prices; the options, too little or too many,etc. )
It's interesting to hear your reasons for opting for renting, and I have to ask: Did you ever rent somewhere where you also had difficult neighbors? Because where I live (major East coast city) you have a greater chance of not so nice neighbors by the sheer number of apartments in a building + you cannot easily get out of leases as a renter. Wouldn't renting a house in a location also bring with it the same issues re neighbors?
With a family of six, even with high gas prices, it probably is a lot less expensive than flying, depending on where you are going. Do you only go where you can drive? What's the longest trip?
Forgive my questions. I'm just curious by nature.
Have you planned ahead for what you want to do when you are finished home schooling as Kristen did with nursing school? Sounds like it would free you up for more time for your creative projects. Your illustration is beautiful and you are clearly very talented!
It's refreshing to see so much thought and consideration going into the process of spending and saving. And congratulations on getting your first son through college debt free!
@Irena, I love your questions. You are spot on about my mom's clothing shopping obsession having that influence--I grew up going on dreaded shopping trips, trying on clothes, being told my body wasn't the right shape, and she was constantly trying to get me to wear colors and styles I didn't like. I love shopping for books, groceries, art supplies, kitchen items...but not clothing. I don't think she knew she was doing anything wrong; she was honestly trying to get me to look what she thought was "my best" but it was not done in a loving or caring way. So yep, I hate clothes shopping mostly because of my experiences as a child/teenager!
Renting and bad neighbors: Yes, we have had difficult neighbors at times, but it seems to impact our psyche less when we know we can easily move. I think when we owned our home we had the "home is our castle and we're under siege" feeling, but knowing we're not 'stuck' here makes it easier. For instance, we are right now in one of the nicest, quietest neighborhoods we've ever known, and yet the neighbor behind us has three yappy dogs and will throw their poop into our yard sometimes. This has happened before, when we owned a home, and it just made us see red; now, DH just shrugs, says it's a good thing we don't rely on the backyard for little kids to play in, and we go about our business and avoid confronting the neighbor. We know, you see, that should anything escalate, we can quietly search for a new place to rent. And if it were really intolerable we could ask our landlord to help us out.
Not everyone comes on our trips; our oldest has a full time job and two others have college classes, so often it's just DH and I or the two of us plus the youngest. The others get to stay home and mind the fort. Yes, our oldest lives at home; he pays rent and helps with utilities, and seems very content to keep doing so. If DH has to go out to California for work, then he flies and I stay home. Once we did all fly out to San Diego, the kids were younger, and we combined the conference trip with a visit to LegoLand. I don't think we would try to drive to California from the Great Lakes!
The longest trip we've taken to date, driving wise, has been down to Florida this month. A total of 15 hours driving, plus stops. We've also driven out to New England; that was fun because we'd never driven that way and Google Maps helpfully took us through the Bronx and down a long road in Connecticut that was clogged with leaf-peepers.
And the big $10,000 question...what do I want to do when I'm no longer homeschooling? I honestly don't know. I am ashamed to say I have little confidence in my ability to do anything awesome like nursing, like Kristen, or a full time job teaching or anything like that. After having a very open-ended, flexible, self-set schedule, I'm not sure. I would like to work in a library again, or get involved with literacy programs. I've toyed with the idea of pursuing a degree in art therapy, or something like that, but again, I'm not sure. In the end I hope that God will put me where I'm needed most, and I trust that He will show me what I'm meant to be doing after this phase of my life is past.
@Karen A., I'm guessing from your beautiful bird illustration that you would make an excellent art therapist or illustrator!
@Karen A., I sometimes go down that path of wondering what I will do after homeschooling (if all goes well, I 'll have 10 more years). I dream for a while, but then I realize that 10 years is a lot of time. I will likely have some unforeseen changed circumstance. There may be new opportunities that show up. I would, however, like to avoid teaching in a classroom setting again; I think I would be a better school teacher than I was 20 years ago, but I think I would hate it.
@Karen A., I'd gather the poop in a sack and toss it back over their fence with a note that you don't want it either. Or just toss it back without the sack or note.
@Fru-gal Lisa, DH will probably do that next time. He was caught unaware because the lawn had gotten a little long back there, and it wasn't until he smelled it that he realized it! Ugh. This has happened before (I don't know why we tend to get rude dog-owner neighbors) and that's exactly what he used to do, toss it back. Without the note, but I love that idea!
@Fru-gal Lisa, yes, that is exactly what I was thinking. I would never let someone get away with that. And it might not be the adults who are doing it. Perhaps they told their teen to go clean the back yard and they figured out a "short cut."
Re clothing shopping, I always do it online. Probably because of sometimes not fitting into things when I was younger. I'm very tall with giant feet, and I have what's known as the sandal gap (an extra large space between my big toe and the rest) and finding clothing and shoes was often a nightmare, especially back in the 70s and 80s when there were fewer sizes available. For instance, before I got married, I went to Laura Ashley to look for a bridal dress because they had them in cotton. (In the 80s it seemed like every bridal gown was 10,000% polyester.) I tried on a dress I'd liked in the catalog*, a size 14, and it was too big in the waist but it wouldn't button in back. I was just too broad. 14 was the largest size they made, so as usual I felt like a giant freak of nature.
Though once, I was mall shopping for clothes with BFF and again had a meltdown because all the skirts were too short for me, and she shrugged and said, "So we'll just go to another store and find some clothes that fit." To me, it was always "How do I change my body to fit the clothes" rather than vice versa.
*I still feel wistful about that dress! Heh. I saw it on Poshmark the other day.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I actually did that but I attached a note saying, "We don't take shit from anyone." My poor husband was appalled but we never saw their dog's poop in our yard again. For some reason people not cleaning up after their dogs makes me crazy. We were always scrupulous about cleaning up after our Irish wolfhounds, so I guess I expect that of everyone.
@Lindsey, I love your wording on the note! So appropriate! ROTFL.
I wonder if your 5-6K haircuts savings is a huge underestimate. I recently had to cancel my boys haircuts when the hair salon raised their price to $25/haircut. And they still expect a tip on top of that. Ten years ago it was $10 for kids cut, then prices crept up ever since.
I love what you said about frugality being a spectrum. We all choose where we splurge and where we save.
@Natasha, Could be, I know boys' haircuts used to be cheaper than girls', but the last time I priced them out was two decades ago. And add the gas to drive to the salon, and as my DH points out, the TIME. He always resented the time he waited for his turn in the dreaded barber's chair.
@Karen A., and everyone, I would like to cut my husband's hair, and he even has the tools, I just don't know what I'm doing and don't even know where to start on YouTube! What resources (especially videos) have most helped you all cut men's hair?
@Heather Mar, I literally just looked at Amy Daczyzn's drawings in The Tightwad Gazette but followed the contours of my victim's--I mean, husband's--head. And it was trial and error. I've only used clippers to neaten necklines, I use scissors everywhere else! I'm sure those who use clippers will have better advice. I do advise using a clipper with a guard around the ears, lest you clip one.
Hi Karen! Your thoughts about the impact of family frugal cultures are so insightful. It's making me think back to my own childhood, and what made us feel "rich" (or not). In my adult life, I think I would also have welcomed the concept of moving periodically - we haven't ended up moving often, and we would have benefited from that push to really focus on what to keep or declutter.
Other random thoughts: That butcher board table is beautiful, and so is your drawing.
And I love the picture that shows Clark feeling so at home, so quickly after you adopted him!
Karen A., it's nice to meet you (and always good to meet yet another Tightwad Gazette fan!). And I like how your interview demonstrates yet again that there are many ways to be frugal. Folks both here and on the Non-Consumer Advocate are all over the map in terms of their approaches to frugality, and I find this a fine and healthy thing.
Re: home ownership: At the moment, it's joy and comfort to me to be living in my paid-for house on my lovely street with my excellent neighbors. (DH and I definitely got lucky in all these regards.) But when the time comes for me to downsize, I don't intend to buy another house; I'll be moving straight from here to an apartment or some other form of senior living.
You are a super talented artist, Karen! Loved the drawing! Pls. tell us the title(s) and subject(s) of your son's book(s) and when/where they'll be available.
Another thing about your number 6: When I was called to jury duty for a criminal case, I cringed at the thought of being picked (I wasn't) because a former sheriff told us that sometimes criminals have friends and the jurors' names and addresses are public record; even if he is immediately taken to prison, the defendant's friends can go retaliate against his jurors. I own my home and was terrified at the thought of that happening. You, being a renter, could pack up and move a lot easier.
Like you, I'm also a TWG fan. If I'm feeling too spendthrifty, I'll take out my copy and re-read it for inspiration. I sometimes struggle with going shopping (usually to Walmart or thrift stores, but I still spend money....and not always on necessities....). I loved your comment about being halfway between Amy Daczyczn, the TWG's author and self-proclaimed Frugal Zealot, and the Kardashians. ROTFL!
@Fru-gal Lisa, If you search "Pirates of Malta: The Caribbean Crusade" on Amazon, you should find the series. They're all available on Kindle, the first two free with Kindle Unlimited.
This last one I am not sure he'll put it out on Amazon; we are binding it ourselves to give to our godson, who is a big fan. But the first three comprise a series. They're pirate/historical/fantasy in genre.
@Karen A., Sounds really amazing! You must have a super talented, creative young author in your family. I have a Kindle, so.....
Nice to "meet" you, Karen! I am so curious about the diet you feed Mr Clark to help with your allergies. After our old cat died my kids have been begging for a new cat, but it's been a welcome break from allergies not to have one in the house. It would be wonderful if a diet like that worked.
Greetings from a fellow mom of four sons of various ages, an artist and editor (although my day job has taken a turn away from it).
@Kristina M., It's Purina ProPlan LiveClear Allergen Reducing food: https://www.purina.com/pro-plan/cats/liveclear-cat-allergen-reducing-food
And for us, it seems to work. I had a few issues when we first brought him home, but after three weeks (the company says it takes that long for it to start working), I felt fine. It's possible that Clark is part Ragdoll breed, and those tend to be a little less allergenic than some other breeds. He doesn't have an undercoat and sheds less than the cats I've had in the past. There are some cats who don't produce as much of the allergenic protein in their saliva: https://www.womansworld.com/posts/pets/are-ragdoll-cats-hypoallergenic
But so far, neither I nor my one son who is highly allergic to cats have had to take any medication. My son does make sure Clark doesn't go in his room, but beyond that, and regular vacuuming and Swiffering, we haven't had to do much!
@Kristina M., It's Purina Pro Plan Live Clear Allergen Reducing Formula. It has really worked for us! I did a lot of reading about it and we decided to take a chance. Clark needed a home!
@Karen A., thank you! Will definitely look into it. Clark is a sweetheart and it would be so nice to rescue a cat again. My nephew has a ragdoll and they seem very sweet with kids.
@Kristina M., we use the same food for my cats because my partner is allergic. It's not perfect but paired with an air purifier in the bedroom and Claritin, his allergies are noticably better.
Hi Karen, how wonderful to meet you. I had a look at the map as I often do with meet the readers and it looks/reads like a great place to live. I love the illustration you made and find it wonderful that your children are also developing their creative gifts.
Although I like to shop for clothes, craft shops and stationary shops hold bigger temptations for me. Or did, since I think I found The Perfect Pen for me.
@JNL, Ooh, what is your Perfect Pen? Mine (for writing) is a Pilot Precise V5 Extra Fine.
@Karen A., Oohh, that’s mine, too! Extra Fine. I have one in every room, on each of my desks and counters.
@Erika JS, I keep mine at my desk, otherwise they get misused! Or Clark steals then, he adores those pens.
@Karen A.,
Mine is a refillable Leuchtturm Drehgriffel Nr1 (ballpoint pen), which is exactly the right size/weight for my hand and also has the right thickness of ink. Over the years I've tried gelpens, ballpoint and fountain pens and this one is the one that agrees with my hand the most. Other than that, I also love writing with a pencil, 2B or 3B. I sharpen them with a very oldfashioned pencilsharpener that you use by turning a handle.
Do you use Pilot pens also for black and white drawings? My husband used to do ink drawing when he was younger, using Rothring. But there are many more options nowadays (Rothring pens had to be cleaned very carefully, I remember).
@JNL, for drawings I use Sakura Micron Pigma pens, and I like their brush pens as well.
Hello Karen! Thanks for giving us a peek into your life. I like your philosophy of earning by saving.
Thank you for sharing your story, Karen! I suspect you make a point to be good renters, which makes renting and landlord relationships much easier.
As you point out, there really isn't one good answer about owning or renting; both depend on so many factors. Both my parents and my in-laws got stuck in their houses as they aged. My parents had the good-enough house, but wanted to build the perfect house. Circumstances changed and they never did. They were by no means junk collectors or hoarders, yet they also had so much stuff that moving seemed an impossible task. Depression-era childhoods were in full force.
My in-laws had much too much house after their children were grown and the giant old house was unsellable. Also, the profit wouldn't have been enough to support them in senior living. Good for you to have reached the best decision for yourselves!
Also, I understand about driving v. flying. Unlike flying, you also don't have to pack to the inch in the car and can carry more clothes, dishes, entertainment items, food, and so forth.
@Heidi Louise, It's so true that one has to make decisions about housing based on what is best for their family/situation in life. We rented when we first moved back to this state, and probably should have kept doing that, as selling the houses back in the state we were living was difficult and annoying; but we were still thinking, "Oh, we're adults, we need to own home!" Not necessarily.
Hi Karen, from one Great Lakes girl to another! 😉 Do you have a favorite Great Lakes area vacation spot?
I loved the picture of your cat on top of the high bookshelf. I wish I could send you a picture right now of my cat, who is currently in his normal spot: high up on top of the kitchen cupboards. We were given a cat tower when we got the cat, but it never gets used anymore. (I've been vetoed by multiple people about getting rid of the tower, but am still holding out hope for it getting out of our house in 2024.)
Thanks for sharing with us all!!
@Ruth T, I have a soft spot for Put-In-Bay, where we would often go in the summer. When we got married I convinced DH to go on a quick trip (before our official longer honeymoon that summer) to Put In Bay in April, during the off-season. We ended up staying at a B&B that was right down the road from the home of my then-retired kindergarten teacher!
@Karen A., Oh fun! I'm actually pretty close to that (closer than a lot of the places we typically vacation to), but have never been there before. I'll have to keep that in mind for our anniversary trip this year, as I think it's my turn to plan. My anniversary is in April! Thanks for the recommendation! That's such a neat thing that you ended up near to your kindergarten teacher in your trip. 🙂
@Ruth T, It was really lovely to just explore the island while only the year-round residents were there; this was 24 years ago, so I'm not sure what it's like now in April!
@Karen A., Put-in-Bay is fun! My first professional job was in Sandusky, OH, and I took out-of-town visitors to the island a few times. That was over 30 years ago, so I'm sure they have added more attractions. I remember enjoying walking around the town and residential areas, as well as touring Crystal Cave (which we did on a very hot and humid day--it was well worth it to get a little relief from the heat! And it's pretty!).
I so love the photo of Clark the day after you adopted him!
It’s interesting that it’s cheaper for you to rent long term. I live in a college town where there’s stiff competition to get into rentals, and many of them are in unsafe areas or poor condition. To rent a house in my neighborhood would be double our mortgage. Even with maintenance costs, that’s a lot more. Rent/buy variables are so different from place to place!
I also liked your comment about the frugal spectrum, as I currently tend to feel “not frugal enough” compared to most readers here. I do fall somewhere between the Frugal Zealot and the Kardashians, though.
Oh, your kitty cat! Gorgeous! I laughed when you mentioned the chair belonging to the cat. Yup.
I'd love to see more of your artwork. My husband and daughter are both very artistic and your style reminds me a bit of my daughter's.
I'm in Michigan, so I always perk up when Kristen features someone from my neck of the woods. 🙂
My husband hates flying, so we haven't flown anywhere since our honeymoon. There are some distinct benefits to taking your own vehicle vs flying, although someday I'd love to travel to Europe and I'm not planning on getting on a big boat.
Thanks for sharing!
Am I the only one who realizes the bird is a raven? I love ravens. Wish I could have one as a pet but that would be cruel. (Can I also have four more dogs, a horse, a hyacinth macaw, and a freshwater tank of fish?)
@Rose, There is a pure white raven living in Anchorage, although I have only seen him in pictures posted on FB. Magical looking.
@Rose, Yep, I love ravens too, and I was so happy when my son said he was writing about a place in one of the books that had ravens roosting in an eerie, foggy cove.
Thank you for taking the time to give us a glimpse of your life. Something that made me want to slap my forehead in recognition is what your said about having a sort of uniform that you wear every single day and that you wore uniforms in school. I, too, tend to wear the same type of thing every day and love not thinking about what to wear...and the first time I remember feeling free of dressing up was when I went to boarding school and we wore uniforms. I am sure it is related somehow. Whatever the reason, I am thankful as wearing a sort of uniform as an adult has saved a lot of money. (Also loved the cat on the bookcase picture!)
"Splurges: Shoes, books and art supplies. Good shoes are essential for me"
That's not a splurge. That's a need. It might be an expensive need, but it's a need nonetheless.
I wasn't raised by frugal people either, and my mother was a bit anti-frugal - her horror when I found a wood occasional table at Goodwill was almost comical. She wanted me to do more shopping and spend more (even if it were her money and not mine) even though I had the right thing already. It was, I concluded, because she was middle-class but poor growing up and had an allergy to even seeming that way. My father's view was that his business was going to be a success so it's fine to spend it now because we'll have it later. He was right but oh, the risk! Most businesses aren't successes, ya kno?
Compared to this crowd, I'm rather spendy. I know how to spend less, I don't have to, and so sometimes I don't. Especially this year for my new house. I've never felt criticized or looked down here and everyone's been really welcoming and supportive.
One of my splurges is books. Real, physical, paper books. Books, books, books, they're all over the place. This even though I (almost) never buy a fiction book till I've checked it out of the library first. Your "keep to one bookcase" made me chuckle because I have a whole bookcase of books I haven't read yet. (In case you're wondering, they're mostly nonfiction, books bought a museum shops, gifts, and Little Free Library finds.) It takes all kinds.
@WilliamB, I love your bookcase of unread books because I have one of those, too. Mostly, they are from travel and gifts but one large shelf is from a Little Free Library—our own. It’s amazing the wonderful books of all kinds and stripes that come through this lovely little library. I adore seeing people stop by, all hours of the day, too.
@WilliamB, Ha, my "one bookcase" rule came about when we downsized to a smaller house--I loved how we would be saving on rent by doing that, but it made me square up to the fact that I had space for exactly one bookcase to myself. Each family member has one bookcase here, except for those who opted to put their books on the shelves in their closets.
I do the same thing with fiction books. To own it, it has to be something I'm going to re-read quite often, or that is highly sentimental to me. Which explains why I have copies of Joan Aikens' "Mortimer and Arabel" series, alongside the Miss Read series and all of the Mrs. Marples. But very little new fiction. That I borrow from the library!
When I was engaged and preparing to move out into my own apartment after grad school, I started going to garage sales and Goodwill to pick up plates and kitchen tools, that sort of thing. I made the mistake of proudly showing my mom my new-to-me plates, and she literally recoiled at the idea of eating off plates bought at "the poor peoples' store". Joke's on her, I still have some of those plates and they're a heck of a lot sturdier than the newer stuff!
@Karen A., I love Miss Read!! I was sorry when the author was stricken with dementia, because, selfishly, it meant no more Miss Read.
@Karen A., It makes a huge difference that everyone has a bookcase. I thought you mean there was only one in the house. Of course, if you're into e-books or audiobooks, physical bookshelf space is irrelevant.
When my now-SIL moved into my brother's 1 BR apt, it was a bit of a squeeze at first. Which is why they had a bit of a disagreement about some small "shelves" in the front hall closet. She appealed to me (not sure why) that surely they were for shoes, each shelf being about the size of a shoebox. I think it formed a template for our current relationship that not only did I not agree with her, it never occurred to me that that spot would be for anything other than mass market paperbacks.
@WilliamB, I know it isn't possible. but I wish we could see pictures of your new house.
@Anne, How well you know me! Thank you for understanding that.
I truly do love Clark. What a handsome, beautiful creature.
@Kim S., Thank you! He is also, happily, the sweetest and smartest cat we've ever had. He auditioned for us while we were volunteering at the cat shelter; every time we went in to clean his room he would run up to us and impress us with his people skills. DH resisted the idea of adopting a cat for a while, until Clark escaped from the room, ran to a door leading to the outside, looked up at DH and gave the sweetest, saddest meow. He let DH pick him up and take him back to the room, but on the way DH ran in to me and said, "I think he's our cat now." 😀
@Karen A., I think I'm gonna cry.
@Anne, me too!
Hi Karen. Thanks for sharing your story, with its own unique ways to be frugal and to splurge. A delightful read not least because it’s well-written. And your yummy kitty, Clark! Loved his poses—oh, and thanks for the tip about the allergy-reducing food.
As much as I enjoy each reader's lifestyle story, images of the pets are my favorite. That includes Kristen's posts, too.
I am always amazed by people who love to shop, and do that every week. Other than groceries, of course, which we all need to do. Weeks can go by before I ever want to do general browsing.
Hi Karen!
I loved your post, and pictures! Very good thoughts and insights. It was so heartwarming to "spy" your book of saints, and the Chronicles of Narnia in your bookcase. ☺ From one Catholic to another, God bless you.
@st, My son's been reading a lot of CS Lewis lately on Christianity, since he was baptized a couple years ago and become devout. He adored the Narnia books as a child, too.
@st, Aw, thank you! God bless you as well. 🙂
@Rose,
That's great!!
Fellow renter-by-choice here! My husband and I are in our 40s and spent SO long feeling less-then because we don't own a home. One day we both realized: Renting is better for us! We can live in the neighborhood we love (in a high-priced area of the country) in a way we never could if we tried to buy around here. It's worked well for us, and I'm so glad it has for you too!
Thank you for sharing your life with us. I enjoyed your post.
wow what a wonderful post. you are so wise. love clark. my mom always took me shopping to the good stores lord and taylor, altmans, depinna. those stores are gone now. we always bought stuff on sale. when my mom passed, she had 1k of clothes from Saks Fifth Avenue with the tags still on them. my dad returned the clothes and got all the $ back. this was 50 years ago. but i love shopping for clothes. mostly online. i like chicos. there are no chicos in manhattan. there used to be two. I never paid more than $19.99 for a shirt. now i try not to pay more than $25. we don't have a car or air conditioning, nor do we pay for gas and electricity. so, we save on those things. when we rent a car for vacations, we have the best road trips. they are so much fun. thanks for sharing.
am so sorry your house was a money pit. we live in the one bedroom apt i got when i was young and single in the city. now i am married, old, with two kids and a cockapoo in that same one bedroom. we are two blocks from trader joes. one block from target. two blocks from mcdonalds and one block from popeyes. i am a junk food junkie but with diabetes i don't do it often. my all time favorite is dunkin and that is across the street. i have 7500 points accumulated over about ten years. i am terrible with apps.
good luck to you and your fabulous family.
Thanks for sharing Karen! Would you be willing to share the brownie recipe? It sounds delicious! I love brownies and am trying to have less added sugar in my family's diet.
I just realized you already posted it earlier and I totally missed it. Thanks!
@Megan in CA, I'm glad you found it! 🙂
Despite being called "the Rust Belt" and other not so flattering adjectives, cost of living is quite reasonable here in the Midwest read: Great Lakes area. Lots of inexpensive/free places to take the kids.
Glad you're "over" the beat yourself up re: disposable diapers, growing food etc. And it doesn't take much to grow your own organic catnip. After all, it is a mint plant. I've always had it at every place I've lived since adulthood (can't remember it at our house but do at my grandparents). Keep your eyes peeled when you're out and about. It is super easy to grow - sun, shade, bit of both.
Thanks for the enlightened view of renting! Sure, owning a home is a great way to be independent, accumulate equity and build generational wealth, but? EVEN after you pay off your mortgage, there are maintenance, insurance and property taxes due. Financial advisors never mention that by the time you retire? (depending on where you live) the property taxes alone could add up to more than rent. Our taxes keep rising every year. And I keep wondering just how "free" our house is gonna be even after we have paid it off? So, it is nice to see a different view point.
I don't think I could ever be happy renting. An apartment or townhouse is totally out of the question because of noise issues. I'm very sensitive to noise. When I first got married, we lived in an apartment and had to listen to the guy upstairs get up, walk to the bathroom, and pee, every single morning. I have enough trouble with tolerating barking dogs, music, and loud vehicles where I live now. Add all that to an apartment complex or townhouses, no thank you. As far as renting a house, I love to garden and love to see the progress, over the years, not just months. And I don't want to invest money in someone else's yard. But we worked very hard to pay off our house and we have been mortgage-free for almost 20 years. So rent or mortgage is not a worry for me when I retire.
I understand; there are parts about renting that I don't love. But it's definitely the right decision for me, right now. One day, I'd like to own again, but for the moment it doesn't make sense.
You have figured out exactly what works for you, and that is perfect. Everyone's gotta find their housing sweet spot.
Books: I highly recommend Paperback Swap dot com. I've been a member for years. There's a free membership and a $20 annual membership. I have the higher level membership, and it's very worthwhile. I never mind buying a book or books because I know I can swap them later for another book - for free
@Daisy, Thanks! I will look into it. 🙂