Meet a Reader | Jen from England
Today we're meeting Jen, who lives with her little family in England. I love meeting readers from anywhere, but it always adds a little extra fun when they live outside the U.S.!
Here's Jen:
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I'm a 30-something former tax accountant, who has recently made the switch to be a stay-at-home mum.
I live on the North East coast of England with my husband of three years and our 10-month-old daughter.
We live a fairly simple life and love spending time outdoors and with family, though most of them aren't local, unfortunately.
Most of our free time is spent training for various races (triathlon for my husband, open water swimming for me).
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I can't quite remember but I know I started when I was still single, so at least 7 years but probably a lot longer than that.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
My dad was very careful with money so it's something that I've always been aware of growing up.
However, when I first started working after university I was on a fairly low wage and didn't really think about my finances or budgeting too much. This led to me making some unwise decisions (see below!) and I realised I had to start being really careful before I got into any serious trouble.
I never had huge amounts of debt but I certainly didn't have any savings and would have struggled with any big expenses.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
Over the last few years, we've been saving and planning so that I had the option of being a stay-at-home mum, rather than going back to work.
Being able to build up our savings, overpay on our mortgage, etc had meant that our outgoings now are a lot less than they could have otherwise been, so I was able to resign from my previous job in the spring.
Spending time with my daughter will always be the best 'why' we have. We also find that being frugal often ties in with being green/sustainable too, which is something really important to us.
5. What's your best frugal win?
I don't think we've had many big wins, it's usually all about the little things that keep adding up.
I'm so glad we were in a position to be able to buy our car outright though, as opposed to leasing or getting finance. She was second-hand, we've had her for 5 years and she's still going strong.
When I think about how much people have to pay every month in car payments, we must have saved ourselves a fortune over those 5 years, and we have no plans to replace her anytime soon.
6. What's a dumb money mistake you've made?
Honestly, buying my first house.
I bought it over a decade ago on my own, when I wasn't earning a huge amount and I really stretched myself with the mortgage. I ended up getting a really bad deal and paying way above-average interest rates.
In hindsight, it would have been better to continue to rent for another year or two until I was earning a bit more.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
It doesn't apply as much since we had our daughter, as we have a lot less free time, but my husband and I love going out to fancy restaurants for special occasions. We've sampled quite a few Michelin stars in our area.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Anything relating to salons, beauty treatments, make-up, etc. As long as I have some soap and a flannel I don't need anything else.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Probably what we do with any cash we manage to have leftover, 50% goes to our daughter's savings and 50% goes to paying off our mortgage.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
The easiest part for me is being frugal with food. I've always meal-planned and hated wasting food, we eat very little meat and hardly ever have takeaways so I find it relatively easy to keep our food bills down.
The hardest part is keeping in mind that it's a long-term thing. I'm often tempted to spend if we have a bit extra left at the end of the month, but I have to remind myself that paying off the mortgage, adding to a pension, etc will help us in 20/30 years. I can't wait to meet my future self and reap the benefits of this!
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
I don't think it's unique to our area but I love how many free or cheap things there are to do, especially with a little one. There are so many parks, playgrounds, and sports pitches to use.
We love spending a morning on the beach or going for a walk in the nature reserves. We attend free classes at our local libraries and socials at the children's centres.
Several of our local museums are free and there are always sports sessions and entertainment days put on during the school holidays.
12. What is something you wish more people knew?
It's not necessarily something people don't 'know', but we've met a lot of new parents since we had our daughter, and I'm always a little saddened when it's obvious they've gone out and bought a huge pile of stuff for their baby and it's all brand new and expensive.
They just don't think to get things second hand and it's a shame, there are so many used baby sales, charity shops, selling platforms, etc available and you can get so many good deals!
13. How has reading the Frugal Girl changed you?
I'll always be glad I found your blog, but probably not for the reason you think!
Reading it was the first time I'd properly come across home education and after hearing about your experiences, plus doing a lot more research elsewhere, we have decided to go down that route with our daughter in due course.
It's something we probably would never have done otherwise.
________
Jen, I loved getting to know you a bit through your answers! Your little girl is precious, and I'm so happy that you are able to fulfill your dream of being able to stay home with her.
I agree 100% about getting baby things second-hand. Babies often outgrow toys/clothes/gear before they're worn out, so there's a lot available on the second-hand market.
I would love to know more about the open-water swimming you do. What types of bodies of water do you swim in? Do you do this only in warm weather? Do you race?
Also, tell me about the climate in your part of England. What is the weather like?
Hi Jen! Yes, why wouldn't you get secondhand things, especially if they're as adorable as all the clothing your daughter is wearing in these photos? The bonnet! The tiny shoes! The elephant-print overalls! Or maybe it's just that your daughter is so cute she makes anything look good. 🙂
I noticed the little shoes too. So cute!
Honestly, I'm not opposed to people getting some new things for new babies. We got several hand-me-down things for our oldest that turned out to be all wrong. And it was because we didn't know how/what to look into, or even that we ought to look into something.
Two specific examples —
The car seat we got was not expired and to all appearances and history would've been safe, but it was a three-point rather than the five-point. We are just old enough that neither of us even were put in a formal safety seat. I suppose there most likely was some way that we could have known what to look for? — but instead we were completely clueless. And, the crib we got was under recall for the side rail breaking (remember this thing? it became huge), but we didn't know, and sure enough it did break while we had it.
Just for those two things, new would've solved problems we didn't know we had.
I guess the good news is that we could hand down what we eventually bought — at least what the other four kids didn't wear completely out.
Clothes, though, totally all the hand-me-downs. I didn't start buying clothes for any of the kids until they started having their own opinions and/or for things where the sizes were atypical (like all the kids with inexplicably extra-wide feet, and now a boy with 28x36 pants).
@Karen., That's a really good point and I will say I told a lie in my comment above as I had new car seats (they were shower gifts) and I am going to say that there are two things I never buy second hand - safety gear such as hockey helmets, riding or biking helmets, car seats etc. and shoes. I know Kristen has great luck with shoes but I had the worst case of athlete's foot once and it was after borrowing a friend's shoes, so much so that I do not ever want to wear someone else's shoes again. The exception to this would be party or dress shoes for children because they usually look brand new and would have been worn with tights or socks I think.
@kristin @ going country, That is so sweet of you to say so! We definitely think she's cute but we are a bit biased 🙂
@Karen., Please don't get me wrong, I agree that there are some things that are better bought new - our car seat and crib were both new. We just don't think it's necessary to get everything new.
@Jen, oh, I really didn't mean that as an indictment! I just wish, in hindsight, that I'd had some realization that acquiring things used has some legit exceptions. I would like to keep people from making that same mistake, if possible — to assure people that it's not a black-and-white situation, not strictly better all the time to get used things. That's all. 🙂
And, I can't swim at all, so high five to you for that!
@Karen., Not black-and-white is the perfect way to describe it, but that can be applied to almost anything baby-related I've found!
@Jen, nice meeting you! Our daughter is very close in age to yours and we bought almost nothing new. I think we only bought three pairs of tights! I would like to add that for me it's also a benefit that second-hand things have been washed many times before and toys have probably lost any "chemical stuff". I often feel safer giving my child things that are not new.
We've been lucky though that we could get "sensitive" items such as the car seats from family, so we felt we knew they were in good shape still. And we got so many beautiful hand me downs!
Jen,
It was fun to get a glimpse of your life. It sounds/looks like a wonderful life you have built there. I love that you recognize the intersection between used goods and being environmentally friendly.
@K D, Absolutely, buying as little as possible new is something we always keep in mind, not just for our daughter.
What I noticed was not the cute little shoes, but the adorably dirty tiny bare feet. All kids should have a chance to get their bare feet dirty, in my opinion.
Welcome Jen! Like Kristen, I especially love to hear from readers outside the U.S. I am impressed that you managed to stay home with your baby girl and yet buy your car outright. I expect your family to do very well with your future finances.
I know that feeling of having a little "extra" money and wanting to spend, rather than save it. Having a concrete goal in mind sure makes it easier for me to save, but the temptation is always lurking.
@JD, the dirty feet photo was taken at our local community garden - we go every week and she spends the morning crawling through puddles and eating mud. It's our favourite place to go!
@Jen, My mother always says that the a child's enjoyment of a day is exponentially linked to how dirty they get! Gardening and playing in the dirt is a hallmark of a well spent youth. 🙂
Hi Jen, you are living the life I wanted as a young mom! I always worked outside the home but thankfully not always full time. But my heart was always at home with my kids.
The assumption that buying is always better than renting has put a lot of people into financially perilous places.
So very nice to meet you! I also think that babies in general do not need lots of “stuff” Bouncers jumpy things three strollers two high chairs etc etc etc. KEEP IT MINIMAL. also spend on a good back pack to carry baby that fits well. We wore ours out!
It was wonderful to get to know you, Jen! I loved your pictures! Blessings to you in raising your daughter and homeschooling her! I homeschooled my son and it turned out to be the best choice for him, plus that time we spent together is priceless. Also I really respect your wisdom in frugality, and the choices you're making.
A note to American readers: a flannel is what we call a washcloth. (She wasn't talking about a shirt.) 🙂
I totally thought she was referring to a shirt!
@Becky Stewart, Haha, it didn't even occur to me that a flannel could be anything else! Yes, I wash my face with a small cloth, not a shirt 🙂
Thank you for your kind comments
@Becky Stewart, Thanks for clarifying! I had thought it was pretty awesome that she loved flannel shirts. Now I understand the statement properly!
@Jen, wait till she's a teen. Flannel now means shirt in our house. Very fashionable apparently.
Me, too!
Lovely to read about your frugal life, Jen. I'm on the other side of parenting as my baby is 15, almost 16 yo. But you give such good advice on the second hand, I had very little baby gear that was new. My pram was new as my parents wanted to buy that for my eldest as they'd bought them for all my sister's first babies. But everything else, including the crib was either borrowed or second hand - I spent very little money! And I didn't have a lot of fancy things either, just the basics. I don't think babies need as much as baby registries think they do. I have 5 great nieces and nephews with another on the way and I am so pleased to see my nieces passing there baby stuff around as well. I also cloth diapered my babies which saved us so much money in the long run. In fact, I sold our diapers when we were done with them and I swear I might have broke even. They were still in great condition! Now my nieces are cloth diapering as well even though their mothers didn't. I consider myself the family cloth diapering guru, lol.
I was born in England, my parents came to Canada when I was almost 6. I cannot imagine open water swimming there! The season must be very short or perhaps you are like some of the hardy in this country and wear a wet suit? I'm very curious as I was once a very dedicated swimmer and I still spend every moment I can swimming in our lakes during the summer.
Lovely to 'meet' you, and your baby is adorable!
You are an open water swimmer in chilly Northeast England? I am sooooooo impressed.
@Anne, seriously! Super impressive!
@Anne, I wouldn't dream of doing it in the winter, I'm definitely a summer only girl! Though the water isn't exactly warm then either ...
Hi Jen, lovely to read about you and your family. Are you getting to meet other young parents now too, who may consider homeschooling?
When we had our children we bought most of the stuff second hand except for the mattresses. My parents made a big point that we buy that new. Shoes we also bought new but we had quite a caroussel in our family with clothes, boots and bikes being turned round.
Please tell us where you swim, in the North Sea or in ponds inland? I had a quick sea bath myself last weekend (normally swim in a pond) but as I was entirely by myself it was only a brief one, and I checked the tides obviously. It was glorious, with the sun just peeping over the dunes and warming the sand. My biggest fear was that my clothes would blow into the water.
@J NL, yup, we also purchased a new mattress for the crib, and later on, for the beds. We also bought new sneakers, although if I found used dress shoes , I was ok with that.
Good to meet you, Jen! You have a lovely family.
Thanks for sharing! I also quit working to be with my kids when they were born. It was not the most financially beneficial plan but it was absolutely one of the best decisions I've ever made and it was the best choice for our family. I'm glad you to have had that option to be with your daughter too.
Oh my goodness, Jen! Are you in Newcastle area? I'm in love with the Northumberland area and have been extensively researching jobs, etc. because I'd like to move there after my children are grown. I adore Hexham but Newcastle has more universities and medical centers and is closer to the ocean. I've been posting some pictures from my trip to the area last April (miabcreative.com).
What a treat to be home with your sweet girl! I hope that you'll enjoy the ins and outs of homeschooling! I was homeschooling when I met Kristen and she taught me so much about how to navigate the waters of homeschooling!
@Mia B., We're not too far from Newcastle, a few miles south. We do love Northumberland though, and try and visit various places there often. I didn't grow up in this area and really appreciate being so close to the coast now.
@Jen, how lovely! I'm glad you are enjoying your time there!
Thanks Kristen, and to everyone else for your lovely comments!
To answer your swimming questions - so far I have only done open water swimming in the summer, in lakes and with a wetsuit on. I have recently joined a women's sea swimming group who swim all year round, in the sea, without wetsuits - I don't quite know if I'll enjoy that when winter gets here! I haven't raced for a while because of Covid/pregnancy but I definitely want to get back to it one day - my aim is to a marathon swim (10km/6miles) one day.
As for the climate - I feel my pictures may be a little misleading as most of them were taken in the summer! In autumn we normally average about 50-60F, with not too much rain but lots of wind. Being by the coast we don't get a lot of snow in the winter, but it definitely gets cold.
@Jen, I don't know that I'd ever do open-water swimming (even with a wetsuit) in anything colder than the Caribbean, so add me to the list of those nominating you for the Polar Bear Club!
But I am relieved to see from your photos that at least you have nice sandy beaches near you. The only English beach I've ever visited is the shingle beach (= "pebbly beach" for US readers) at Brighton, and although people were actually playing on it, lying down on it, etc., it sure didn't look comfortable.
@A. Marie, Yes, I didn’t think UK beaches were big, beautiful, sandy ones like the photos show! My brother lives in London and I hope to visit next year. He’s tired of visitors wanting to see the traditional sites, so we thought we’d do beaches, but even his experience was shingle beaches and very cold water. I can’t wait!
Your daughter is very, very cute!
@Jen, we have an awful lot of coast! We have everything from huge flat sandy ones, pebble ones, cliffs and caves, rocks and pools, fossil-hunting ones... For sand near London I recommend West Wittering https://www.westwitteringestate.co.uk/ but beware as it is very popular.
Great post. Thanks for sharing. Nice to meet you. You have a very sensible head on your shoulders. I am forever telling my 11yo and 14yo to buy their car outright. No loans. Of course, we don't even own a car as we live in NYC.
I was wondering is Michelin stars = 5*?
@Edit Jeremias, Michelin guides review and rate restaurants. Three stars is the most you can get but only a very few get those.
Thank you for sharing about your life, Jen! Your daughter is adorable, and I enjoyed seeing the photos from your area. It looks so beautiful there. The open-water swimming sounds intense. I'm such a wimp. I wouldn't be able to jump into cold water. I live in Arizona and our pools can hover around 90 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer.
@Beth B., A good wetsuit definitely makes a difference when it comes to the cold water. 90F would be a bath, I think the average temp of our usual spot is about 60F!
@Beth B.,
Funnily enough I would hesitate to swim in pools that warm because you get more bacteria? Where I live we keep a close eye (and nose) on the water in summer to make sure it is still clear and healthy. Many recreational ponds and lakes are checked every two weeks (in summer) and the results can be looked up on a website.
We swim in a bathing suit only but in winter the swims are short. Once you get below 10C the guideline is 1 minute per degree C. Wearing a wetsuit would spoil the fun plus prevent us from getting changed into something warm, quickly. Never ever go home wearing anything wet, in winter!
I was going to say Tyne & Wear based on the bridges and the seaside.
Re used stuff for babies. With my first child, my MIL went crazy buying used baby clothes. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't want to put that stuff on my baby. Faded stuff with old spit up stains? On MY baby? I couldn't think of what to do with it nor how to gracefully refuse it. Eventually, I sent to rescue missions in Latin America.
(Then when my daughter was born with bright orange hair and blue eyes, MIL kept buying her pink dresses, which clashed horribly with her hair....sigh.)
I loved spending a fortune on my kids' clothes and dressing them up like dolls. Yes, I know, not frugal. I did give every bit away except for a couple of things, and the crib I blew a fortune on eventually went to a women's rescue.
Just trying to explain a little.
Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Nice to meet you Jen, thank you for sharing your life with us.
When I was reading the comments regarding open sea swimming, very impressive, I was reminded of a book I read by Lisa See called The Island of the Sea Women. This is a true story of women who swam/dove I think to get sea urchins to sell. They wore cloth outfits and in the winter for extra work they dove in waters off of Russia. Yes you read that correctly.
Everyone in my book group loved the book.
@karen, How interesting, I will add it to my reading list. Thank you
@karen, I read this book too and loved it! I had never heard of this before and was so intrigued by the culture.
@karen,
Thanks for suggesting, put it on my reading list
What a lovely post. Thank you so much for sharing! Your money ethics really resonate with me, and you and your baby are adorable!
For #5 your best frugal win, I thought you might just say "see #4" - I'd definitely call it a huge frugal win that you were able to make your choice to stay home! : )
I'd have to agree - for me too, my frugal wins are mostly a compilation of small gains. That's provided a lot of years for our recent HS grad to see how much it all adds up, so it's been good for our generational frugality!
What a lovely meet the reader post!
As a Brit, who used to live in Middlesbrough just south of Jen’s home, I’m obviously biased. Jen, you have some of the most spectacular coastline so near to you. Bamburgh beach is one of my favourite places.
I am retired now. I was a Stay at home Mom when our son was born, it was hard financially and SO WORTH IT. Those were the best years! AND, no one else raised my child!!!! I think it is a great investment and a huge JOY to spend those years with the kiddos.So many free things to do:Libraries, picnics,hanging out with other moms/kids/museums/the zoo, days at home with hot chocolate and story books.. you will remember these years forever!! I went back to school when my son was in fourth grade,I was able to attend nursing school at a community college,back in the 80’s you could complete a full nursing program in just 2 years, and it cost me $3500.(We had to borrow!) The hours were the same as when my son was in school.When I went to work it was part time and I was able to stagger shifts. There’s time for it all.. just NOT ALL AT ONCE!