Meet a Reader | CeCe the psychologist
Hello, everyone! Today we're meeting a practicing psychologist, so that's a first for our Meet a Reader series. I really love the variety of ages, stages, and life paths represented by the readers here...variety is the spice of life!
Here's CeCe:
1. Tell us a little about yourself.
I am a 40-year-old suburban mom. I’ve been married for almost 10 years, and we have three active boys, ages 7, 4, and 2.
I am a psychologist in private practice, and I work in the afternoons and evenings. My husband is the primary caregiver for our kids, although he has had part-time stints working as a handyman and bookkeeper.
We are striving to both work about 25-30 hours a week, so we have the most flexibility to enjoy our family and take care of a household with a bit less stress.
We also have babysitting help from nearby grandparents which helps a lot! We live in a suburb of Washington DC.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I have been reading the Frugal Girl for about 12 years?
I think I started reading after finding a no-stir granola recipe. I have really loved Kristen’s positivity and genuineness. It has been a guiding light for me as I navigate motherhood, marriage, and just being a human on this complex planet!
I do not usually comment, but sometimes read the comments. I have loved this Meet A Reader series!
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
Frugality is part of my personality, and it was modeled to me by my parents and grandparents. I have seen extended family members living in poverty and I have heard many stories of my parents and grandparents having to live with less.
I had a paper route and babysat growing up and I had a hard time spending my money! It became much easier to spend money as a teenager and young adult and I have had to reign in my spending habits at different times. I made a lot of money mistakes in my 20s.
Right now, I am not as frugal as some, but I keep working on it!
I am a DIY-er and crafter. When I see something, I often wonder “can I make that?” My mind is always working to figure out a free/low-cost solution.
I like to make decorations instead of buying them. I keep making huge 3D paper flowers that people seem to like.
One funny example of my crafting is making googley eyes from clean disposable contact lens containers. My kids were going through a lot of googly eyes (it seemed like every craft needed at least 3 eyes!) and I was thinking of a solution.
Turns out it is easy to make them, but perhaps too time-consuming for me right now. That is my biggest problem at the moment - the balance between cost vs. time. Time is very limited right now with my kids’ ages and a very busy season at work.
Often it is better for me to buy something versus spending the time and energy getting materials and making something. Googly eyes are not that expensive in the end 🤷♀️
4. What’s the “why” behind your money saving efforts?
On top of my naturally frugal personality, I am very concerned with protecting the environment. The amount of plastic we create and throw away has been weighing heavy on my heart over the years. I want to reduce, reuse and recycle as much as possible.
This is very true with kids’ clothes and toys - many, many of our things have been used and passed on to other families. I love buy nothing groups, FB marketplace, thrift stores, and consignment sales.
My biggest barrier right now is of course - TIME! I started composting when I was pregnant with my third child out of “eco-guilt,” and putting more strain on the environment with another human being. It’s a balance, and we do our part.
I have been increasingly frustrated with big businesses not doing their part. Individuals can recycle and compost, but it does not compare to a huge corporation finding a way to use less plastic in their packaging.
5. What is your best frugal win?
I would say marrying my frugal and financially savvy husband. On top of his frugal personality and having a modest upbringing, he spent his teen and young adult years working several jobs at once and supporting himself through college. We lived on a shoestring budget at the start of our marriage. A common meal for us was rice, crushed tomatoes, and beans, not a fancy meal, but certainly frugal and filling!
My husband also convinced me to buy a dilapidated house near my parents. He is handy and fixed it up and it was a huge frugal win for us in the end.
Housing prices in our area continue to soar and we refinanced at a lower interest rate. So, we have a small, renovated 3-bedroom ranch in a coveted neighborhood with a low mortgage.
I have a love/hate relationship with our house. We took down all the walls in the main living area and it can get loud with three young, active kids. I would love a basement or even one extra room, but it just does not make sense to move and building materials are so expensive right now.
I have a daily practice of being grateful for this house and focusing on what I do love about it. I started planting bulbs to help with this!
6. What’s a dumb money mistake you’ve made?
Oh, so many!
The biggest is going to a private graduate school for four years to earn a doctoral degree. I thought that I would work in public service and have loan forgiveness, but I could not stay at the job that I was at and raise my family with the flexibility I wanted. So, we keep chipping away at those student loans.
I wish that I had worked harder to find and attend a public school on a scholarship. I do think that I received a fantastic education, and it was overall worth it, but oof, I am the millennial in the news with the crushing student loan debt. I took out the loans in good faith and intend to pay them off, I just wish that the interest rates were lower.
7. What is one thing you splurge on?
FOOD! All the food, all the time!
I have learned that feeding myself and my family as frequently as possible prevents a lot of tantrums, poor decisions, anxiety, and arguing. I keep snacks in every bag and constantly plan for the next meal. My children are somewhat picky, but they all love fruit, and we go through a lot of it! Along with bread, milk, and snack foods.
I try to keep frugality and health in mind here, but I admit that often we are just trying to stay ahead of the “hangries” and I find that fed is best.
When I had one child, I spent time making my own cheese crackers. It was soooo time-consuming to process the flour and cheese, roll it out and cut it out into little crackers. I just…can’t do it! So, the fish-shaped famous crackers that children love are for us.
We like to eat out, we like convenience foods, and we like to cook at home. We just eat a lot of small meals frequently. It is a constant balance between time, energy, nutrition, and cost for us.
I remind myself that it won’t always be like this, but with three growing children…it will be this way for a while! The teen years and food, oof!
8. What is the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
The easiest part is that there are so many good reasons to be frugal. Frugality is good for the individual, one’s family and the earth.
The hardest part is not feeling deprived. That is why I love The Frugal Girl so much; it’s about being cheerful while living with less. This has been a huge shift for me.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself that we cannot afford an expensive vacation, I can turn the perspective around and focus on the local amenities we have available to us.
I can refocus on what is working well in my life. I can enjoy not having to pack and figure out how to entertain and feed my family on vacation.
9. How has reading the Frugal Girl changed you?
This blog has really helped hone my perspective on having a positive and thankful perspective. There is a lot of research on gratitude and emotional and physical health. I naturally tend toward the pessimistic side of things, and I have had to consciously train myself to focus on what is positive about everything around me.
I have noticed that reading this blog and others has supported this shift in thinking for me. It is like a daily dose of positivity, and I have really benefited from it.
Additionally, I love Kristen's authenticity. She has been honest about some of her struggles, and that really helps too. It's not just a personal character flaw on my part, we are all working on being our best selves. It certainly helps to have support.
10. Did you ever receive any financial education in school or from your parents?
I took an elective home economics class in high school. It was called "teen living" which is hilarious because we were all living at home being supported by parents! We learned about cooking and sewing. There was a unit about finding a job, and budgeting for groceries and expenses.
I think we also learned to balance a checkbook. It was a tiny portion of the class, so I didn't learn a ton, but it was something. My parents did not explicitly teach me about finances, but we did discuss budgeting for vacations and choosing frugal options when it came to clothes and food. They were always open to answering my questions.
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CeCe, thank you so much for participating! I am so very happy to hear that the atmosphere around here has helped you to get into the habit of noticing what is good in life. Yay! And since you are a trained psychologist, I am extra delighted to hear that you support this practice.
Those paper flowers that you make are so beautiful! I showed Lisey and now she is wondering how you make them.
On another note, I totally agree about making crackers. I tried it a few times and I concluded the same thing as you: it's too time-consuming. Also, it is super easy to burn some of the crackers, unless you have rolled them out precisely the same thickness.
No-stir granola is way, way easier! 🙂
CeCe, your paper crafting is gorgeous. I always liked paper crafts which can often be done with recycled material. Years ago I stopped buying crafting material. There are so many ways to use recycled items and it has helped me be more creative because of limited choices. I have to think about what I want and how to get it. Though I would have never thought of making google eyes.
I love your crafting! And with your busy family and schedule I applaud you for doing something that makes you happy and keeps you creative.
Like you, my husband and I both had parttime jobs when our children grew up and I am happy with that choice still. We both increased our working hours later, as our children grew up and our situation changed (unemployment for one, more hours for the other etc).
My parents never explicitly raised us to be frugal but they were frugal in their habits (both came from large and sober living families) and I appreciate that more and more. Living the example!
I really enjoyed reading your interview, Cece! Thank you for sharing with us. Your artwork is absolutely beautiful.
Keeping snacks on hand has been an important part of my parenting life. Three years ago I started tracking meltdowns to find triggers and hunger was #1! It seemed so obvious once I started writing things down. At the moment I have mixed nuts, peanut butter-filled pretzels, and graham crackers in my van. My kids are 3, 5, and 8 so I can definitely relate to the snack need! And yes, sometimes I pack fruit, veggies, yogurt, or cheese sticks, but sometimes I just go with fed is best.
It was neat to read about how you and your husband work towards balance in your life, look for outdoor free fun, and try to be thankful for where you are. Thanks again for sharing!
@Ruth T, My mother told me many years ago, "Children generally cry for three reasons: they're tired, they're hungry, or they're in pain." The first two are fairly easy to prevent.
@Rose, I have a friend whose family motto when the kids would get cranky was, "feed it!". For people with little ones, I would add to check if they need to use the bathroom. When mine were small, they would get so involved in their play that they would forget to address that. 🙂
Hi Cece,
It was wonderful to read your interview. Thank you for sharing your perspective and your honesty.
If interest rates decrease I wonder if you could borrow against the equity in your home (refinance to a larger mortgage) to help pay off your student loans? It might result in a lower interest rate on what you owe.
Nice to meet you, CeCe. Somedays I feel the same as you with regards to kids and food. As they kids get older, I have fewer meltdowns. My youngest son, however, doesn't feel hungry usually until he is already melting down. My youngest daughter is always hungry. Always. I've been trying to balance snacks out a bit with fat or protein; it helps some. Usually. 🙂
I think the time/money balance is so hard! You're either spending more of one or of the other. It's never perfect.
It was wonderful to meet you, CeCe. This was a great interview. I agree with about many things especially the use of plastics by corporations. Corporations need to seek out and implement packaging alternatives.
On another note, I have many questions on the psychology of frugality. Do you ever counsel people with money problems? If so, what motivates some people to save and some to spend? Are there exercise to make someone more money aware? Are money habits so ingrained that they are impossible to change? Are these a result of nature of nurture?
Thank you again for a wonderful read. Wishing everyone peace and good health.
@Bee, you've raised many of the same points that occurred to me. First, I perhaps didn't emphasize enough in my own Meet a Reader the major role that environmental concerns played in a lot of DH's and my life choices, as well as in some of DH's occupational choices. So I'm glad that CeCe has done so.
Second, I too would be interested in the answers to Bee's questions about the psychology of frugality and what effects it's had on CeCe's work.
And I would also enjoy hearing what area(s) of psychology CeCe specializes in. Who knows, she may be using some of the books I copyedited for a small but influential mental health publisher during my working days!
@A. Marie, and Bee, I’d like to know that, too. I think frugality is essential for mental, emotional, and spiritual health. There’d probably be less depression, anxiety, anger, relationship problems if we were all reasonably frugal. In my own experience it can drive a wedge between partners, parents and children, etc.
The environmental concerns of waste, corporate irresponsibility, and similar things is important to me, too.
@Jenny, no idea why comment posted twice!
As a mom whose youngest will be a senior in college, I feel for your student loans. Oldest had to have a private college and is a teacher. She will be paying for decades and beyond. Dh had a stroke and is fully disabled so both our boys got massive financial aid at their state schools, but still have some student loans. Ds1 is looking into med school, but plans to work and pay off his undergrad loans before then. He went to community college for a year and had a years equivalent of AP courses. Ds2 should be able to pay his off in less than three years chased off of Ds1's experience. It could be much worse. Dh and I always say that his stroke, while it will make life difficult for us, gave both of son's a boost in life both educationally and financially.
Hi, CeCe,
I love that you and your husband are trying to prioritize time spent with family. I feel like that was one area my DH and I totally missed out on - we were always rushed, I usually worked full-time, and he was always, always working, usually 60-70 hour weeks. We missed so much.
The paper flowers are gorgeous. How on earth did you get started on those?
I wish ALL schools, public, private and home, would have a year-long course on Life 101 and teach banks, investing, frugality, school loans and their consequences, credit cards - the whole thing. I know I sure could have used it.
I loved your post! I love the variety we have had here.
@JD, a good friend of mine actually does teach this full-time at a high school here! I think all students are required to take a semester of basics, but then those who want more can take some additional classes. It’s pretty shocking that many 15 year olds know SO little! And it’s occasionally a happy surprise that some know a lot! It’s almost like you can predict who will have a better adulthood… For schools that don’t have this, there must be a way- lots of free materials are available. Maybe a club. I think Girl Scouts has a badge, and 4-H has projects about consumerism Naturally it starts at home before they hit kindergarten. My Mom was great about this. I remember being taught how to balance a checkbook, manage a savings account, etc. (in fifth grade when I started earning money), and I did balance my parents’ checkbook for 2 years, and then my sister took over, then brothers. By high school we all worked and we’re good money managers, and still are! I’m sure my parents double-checked our math- lol.
Bulbs are the best for gardening! I love the pink lily by the mailbox.
Thank you for sharing the life of your family.
@Heidi Louise, those Lillie’s smell soooo good when they bloom too.
@Bee, Yes, and you don't even have to risk getting pollen on your nose to smell them, as the scent floats around the area when they bloom.
I loved reading this post because of the Yin and Yang of your life right now. There are some ups and some downs with time management vs frugality and I think anyone with young children can relate to this.
I know for me, the season of life when my children were the ages yours are currently was the hardest for juggling frugality and life.
Those years are HARD. I want you to know that with each passing year it got a bit easier for me and I suspect it will for you too. Keep up the good work.
Hi CeCe! I loved your interview, and isn't it funny how we always want what we don't have? I would LOVE to work 25-30 hours a week. What a blessing that extra time would be! (I'll admit I am slightly jealous!) You're so smart to prioritize your family while your kids are small. Of course it comes with sacrifices, but few decisions in life are ever made without some form of give and take.
I definitely want a how-to on those beautiful paper flowers!!
Love your crafts!
Weekly creek time - what a fun childhood your boys are having! It's neat how intentional you and your husband are about family time. And special kudos for figuring out how to live frugally in the expensive regions of DC.
And I totally hear you about the perils of open living spaces. Our house is like that too and it can sound quite loud and echo-y even when it's just two people doing different things - I can imagine with 3 active little people...
I am going to echo so many others in saying that your 3D paper flower in the picture is stunning. What a wonderful way to bring pleasure to others, by giving them such a wonderful creation.
There are so many things to love about this interview! The paper crafting .... the fun crafts you do with your children ... the outdoors activities that you encourage .... prioritizing time at home with your family as well as travel with your family .... you and I have a lot in common. 🙂 Thank you for the window into your world.
your flowers are amazing. they look so real. you are amazing. home depot and costco have some sheds that are not that expensive that might add some space to your home. they really look nice and some have outside planters. kids grow up faster than fast. enjoy them now, my 13 year daughter towers over me by almost a foot. i am so proud of how she is maturing. to think i had a tiny bit of something to do with that is so precious.
CeCe, I love that fairy garden!
Also, your comment about not being able to afford a big vacation resonated with me. I was just these days thinking of all the travel I want to do and added up the costs. I realized it's rather unreasonable of me to feel deprived that I cannot take four big trips a year (if I also prioritize saving).
CeCe, I enjoyed your post very much. And loved the new questions! So great that you and your husband are both able to work less than a 40+ hour week and have more time to raise your young family. I'm with you on holding companies accountable for the waste their products create. Thank you for sharing a peek into your life!
Hi CeCe,
So lovely to meet you! I enjoyed reading your interview.
I think you might have figured out how we *both* found Kristen’s blog: I definitely remember that no-stir granola recipe from 2012! This might be a clue for the great question ‘why have so many readers found Kristen’s blog so long ago?’ 😀
I feel you about the amount of plastic we use. Europe is taking some measures to end single-use plastic - we can’t buy disposable plastic straws or cutlery anymore, and even the tops of Starbucks’ disposable coffee cups are paper now! - but the food industry is also trying to replace plastics while maintaining food safety. Ecology is very trendy right now, so demand is high, and I think the first company who’ll manage to find safe, compostable alternatives to plastic - especially vacuum packs for meat and ready made meals - is going to make a lot of money on patents… but we need to be patient.
The area you live in looks lovely, your whole family seems to be making great memories <3
Kuddos on your flowers - I would have never guessed these were DIY - and also your amazing balance between both your jobs and family time: it seems you are living the dream of many, many millennials!
Take care and thanks for sharing!
Nice to meet you, Cece! I LOVE the little alder cones. I collect them and leave little piles around my house.:)
Thank you all for your kind words, it made my day to read the comments on my post.
Regarding the paper flowers - I saw them used as decorations at a community center event in our town, I think it was a tea party. I took a closer look to see how they were made, and noticed it was regular 8.5/11 paper. Each petal is one piece of paper. I have experimented over the years to figure out the best technique. It is something like this...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2CyQYGjoIM
About the student loans and using the equity of our house - we have thought about it! It would be a wise financial move for sure.
On the psychology of frugality...I think whole doctoral dissertations could be researched and written! How we view and value money are closely tied with culture, family dynamics and one's own individual personality. There is no separation between nature and nurture, there are complex factors involved that are interwoven and one affects the other. I will say that impulse control and delayed gratification are important skills related to frugality. These skills can be taught and practiced. Some people have more natural strengths in these areas that others.
I work with children and families, so yes, I do help people practice impulse control and delayed gratification! Money troubles are not my main focus, but it does come up with regard to family stressors and balancing priorities. One of the things I have found most fascinating working with a wide variety of people is that money truly does not buy happiness.
The paper flowers are gorgeous! During COVID-19 shutdowns, my public library had some projects for families to take home, and that was one of them! They gave out big envelopes with templates, pipe cleaners, and some petals already prepared, and ideas for using other kinds of paper like newspaper, scrap paper, grocery bags to make more. When the library re-opened, they were encouraged to bring some of their flowers in, and now there are hundreds all over the library, and it’s so beautiful. And, eventually, they can be easily recycled. It made me want to try it, but time hasn’t permitted so far.
I’ll put in a word, actually two words- protein and fats! For kids, cheese and nuts, peanut butter are easy and portable. Hard-boiled eggs, slices or cubes of meat, jerky, etc. if they like those. Carbs alone create cycles of blood sugar ups and downs and needing to constantly eat more carbs, and that horrible feeling AKA “hangry”. I’m sure you know this, but do a scientific experiment over time, to validate- the older kids might find it interesting. When I had a toddler, she would say “strong bones and healthy body!” to praise herself for choosing healthy snacks!
Thanks so much for the great interview/questionnaire!