It's miscellany time again! | Fixing stuff and Insulting Men
Miscellany posts appear around here every now and then when I have a bunch of small things to share with you...things too short for individual posts, but too much fun not to share at all. You can poke through the miscellany archives, if you'd like to read more of this kind of thing.
I mentioned on Facebook the other day that when I went grocery shopping, the handle for the back gate/door/whateveryouwantotocallit on my Toyota Sienna van snapped, leaving me unable to open it.
Whoever decided to make door handles out of plastic should really be fired. Plastic just does not hold up to repeated use, especially when it has to sit out in the elements (oh, for a garage!).
(you may recall that one of our sliding door handles broke a year and a half ago and we fixed it very cheaply. I'm just waiting for the other handles to snap now!)
Anyhow, I did some research when I got home from shopping, and found that a metal (not plastic. Yay!) replacement part could be had for $50. That made me feel a lot better, especially considering that a new plastic replacement part from Toyota would cost $70, and if we hired them to fix the problem, our bill would be $300.
<Kristen faints>
Yesterday was Mr. FG's day off, and so we tackled the job. It was freezing cold, but we managed to get it done.
Well, actually Mr. FG did most of it...I held tools and a flashlight and functioned as an extra hand when necessary. 😉
See all that metal? It makes me happy.
And my back gate now opens and shuts, which will be most handy for future grocery shopping trips. Oh yes.
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Mr. FG also managed another super-cheap fix yesterday. Joshua's ceiling fan pull has had a problem for a while now...when you pull the chain, it gets stuck and has to be shoved back up into the fan before you can pull it again.
We thought this might be covered by warranty, but were unable to come up with the paperwork (How is it that I have files and files of this stuff but can never find the appropriate paperwork when I need it? SO frustrating!).
So, Mr. FG took the light kit off of the fan, took the pull mechanism out, found a new one at Home Depot, and installed it. And I am pleased to report that it works fabulously now.
Total cost? $3.
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This is quite off-topic, but I've been wanting to rant about this for a while now.
Actually, considering that I've just shared two instances where Mr. FG fixed something, I suppose this is sort of on-topic. I didn't even plan that!
A number of months ago, I received a direct-mail advertisement for a laundry product (I think it was the Bounce brand).
Actually, yes it was! I just looked it up, and the ad was for the Bounce Dryer Bar, which you stick onto the side of your dryer, and somehow it dispenses fabric softener.
Anyhow, the product itself is sort of irrelevant. What caught my eye was the main marketing phrase in the ad...it read, "So easy, even a man could do it.".
I'm sure that was supposed to be funny, but I didn't think it was.
If Mr. FG received an ad for a product and it said, "So easy, even a woman could do it.", I would be quite offended. I actually don't think an ad agency would even think of sending out such a thing, and there would be quite an uproar if they did.
Of course, I've had moments where I think Mr. FG has had a stupid idea, and there have been times where I've been able to figure out something that he hasn't.
And there ARE some very stupid men out there.
But I would be remiss if I didn't point out there there are some very stupid women out there too, and that there have been plenty of times when I've had stupid ideas or when Mr. FG has figured out something that has stumped me (I certainly wouldn't have thought to fix Joshua's fan pull like that!).
So, I think that to broad-brush and paint men as stupid and women as brilliant is just not right. There are stupid men and stupid women and smart men and smart women, and people need to be taken on a case-by-case basis.
And now I will step down from my soapbox.
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What do YOU think about the ad? I'm dying to know!
A lot of the "stupid clumsy man" or "stupid dad" commercials have come under fire from men's groups (those that the PC police haven't outlawed) in recent years. I remember Lowes having to pull a radio ad in recent years for portraying a man as essentially a grown up infant. I really hate the "stupid fat man who watches football" stereotype that men are expected to be. Given the choice, I'd rather strive to be Ward Cleaver over the man-children that pop culture seems to enjoy portraying us men as.
In any case, the biggest man-child I know (who will soon become an in-law) could at least figure out how to use fabric softener.
I'm disgusted at how even children's cartoons have stooped to having the female characters openly disregard adn belittle the male characters on the show. As a woman, I don't want my boys thinking it's okay to be talked to like like. I don't want my girls to think it's okay to talk about boys like that.
Believe me, I would not have married my husband had he been the stupid oaf portrayed in popular media. He is a smart, capable man I am proud to have married. But we have similar jokes about women when you think about it. Blonde jokes, anyone? "” None of this is appropriate; some people are less bright than others but even so, does that mean we publicly denigrate them?
In a culture that tries to play down the importance of family, bashing men is very popular and degrading to me. I agree Kristen that if these ads were direction in a degrading to wards women, there would be a major outcry. I personally let companies know when I am not pleased with their advertising and further let them know I will not purchase their product. We are blessed to have husbands who are not afraid to be men.
This is a topic I've actually been thinking about a lot lately, and I'm glad to see someone else bringing it up.
Not so long ago it was still okay to portray women as stupid, incompetent, dependent, and helpless - just look at advertisements from the 60's and 70's. The thought of portraying men that way would never have crossed an advertisers mind back then. Now that we, as a culture, have come to see the importance of strong, competent female archetypes there is some overcorrection coming in the form of insults to men.
Because men still hold the majority of the power in our culture, it can feel harmless to try to take them down a peg in a "humorous" manner. Of course this kind of derision is counterproductive for everyone, including (or maybe especially) women. It weakens our relationships and devalues everyone's strengths, while making women guilty of exactly the kind of thoughtless, sexist discrimination that feminists have been fighting for decades.
Sitcoms have been branding men as stupid for years. They are the butt of all the jokes. If you think about it, it probably started with I Love Lucy. Lucy ran over him all the time. You don't realize how much that shapes your perspective of men in general. As a nation, we went from Father Knows Best to The &*^* My Father Says(which I have never seen because I don't like the title)
If you listen to the radio show Father Knows Best what surprised both my husband and I is that the husband is portrayed as a guy who is going to do what he wants, even though it's foolish and his wife is generally the voice of smarts and reason. We assumed something from that time period would be the opposite, but not so much!
I think that the ad is all sorts of wrong. That's not the type of message I want my son and daughters to even see.
My soapbox is the Method laundry detergent ad that uses the word (?) frickin'.
This type of advertising has shocked me for some time. Several years ago there was an ad for trash bags comparing men to trash bags of course at the end of the ad it said when you are done with them you and it showed someone a woman throwin a bag of garbage in the can. Implying when you are done with your man just throw him out.
People don't realize how this type of attitude is harmful to women as well as men. Men who suffer from low self esteem do not make good partners. In fact low self esteem has been cited as the driving factor in controlling abusive men. Now I am not saying that one or 2 ads can cause this type of issue. But it seems we have an overall culture that find this acceptable.
As a feminist, those kinds of ads really aggravate me! I give women AND men far more credit than the media does. Men aren't incompetent oafs who are ruled by their genitals, and neither are women ditzy and incapable. People are people. Some are smart, some are dumb, some are capable, some aren't. And I guess now I know to stay far away from Bounce.
Nevermind the ad...I'm most curious about that pic with the van part and a computer keyboard. Did you transpose two images? Do tell...
Karen
Yes, I was wondering about that one too! It took me ages to figure out what was going on in the picture (ie, that there was a door handle and a keyboard in it), but I still don't really get it!
I think it's on her computer table, which is glass?
Yes, it is! I just snapped a quick picture of the broken part down in the office this morning, and I happened to set it on top of Mr. FG's computer desk, which is glass. His keyboard drawer is below the glass top.
Karen, I'm not nearly brilliant enough to transpose two images, but thanks for thinking that I am. lol
I thought you transposed the images to show us the part--and the computer, on which I assumed you did your research.
Oh, that's so interesting. That does make sense, but it didn't even occur to me. It was more like, "I have to teach piano this morning and I'm in a hurry and I didn't take a picture of the broken part yet. Oh well, here will do."
=P
This type of advertising is bad for men and women. My partner does far more laundry than I do and he's better at it, but that's not the point.
The point is that every time we degrade a person because of their gender, as a society we are lesser. Men and women are all perfectly capable of handling laundry.
Interesting AD!
I think it's comical. They just aim at the fact that most men are clueless on how to do laundry. And when they are taught, its usually a women teaching them in most cases. It took me a while to teach my other half how to do laundry.
Now he pretends that he forgets how to operate the machines . . . . im not falling for that trick!
PS - LOVE your blog! I'm trying to document a frugal experiment over on my blog. Im trying to pinch as many pennies as I can to save money to pay off my student loan while I go to a vegetarian culinary school in the most expensive city ever NYC!
I added you to my feed, ill be following along 🙂
I am always annoyed by ads that degrade and emasculate men. Last year, my husband and I were pleased to see several commercials that portrayed men as, well as men. We particularly liked the Old Spice body wash and Dockers pants ads. As much as I despise ads that degrade others, I LOVE those that show off the finer points of people in general, and better yet, ads that show off the features of the product they are trying to sell me.
The BEST ads are Nyquil/Dayquil!
Most health-care/sickness ads show men suffering alone, women suffering alone, and the offensive ones: women tending to men suffering, and women suffering while men do nothing. Men tending women is almost nonexistant, with the occasional exception of Dad taking of Mom so Mom can get better and do the bulk of the parenting. (JC Penny is on my eternal sh*t list for its variations of this.)
Nyquil shows all the variations. Men alone, women alone, women tending men, men tending women (I don't remember men tending men or women tending women, but I watch very little TV these days). I particularly remember one where the man tends the woman so she can succeed at her important business meeting the next day. It's good to see the full variety.
I rarely take cold medicine but when I do, I look for a Nyquil product.
I was in a waiting room lobby the other evening, and a sitcom was on the Disney channel, I think. I don't know the name of the show, but the mother and the children conspired against the father from every turn. Without getting too detailed, it was sarcastic, smart allecky and made Dad look like a buffoon. I've been noticing this a lot on commercials, and of course sitcoms, which is why I never watch them.
I am always annoyed by ads that degrade and emasculate men. Last year, my husband and I were pleased to see several commercials that portrayed men as, well, as men. We particularly liked the Old Spice body wash and Dockers pants ads. As much as I despise ads that degrade others, I LOVE those that show off the finer points of people in general, and better yet, ads that show off the features of the product they are trying to sell me.
For some reason, it seems that the general populous only hears a degrading remark if it applies to women. I know women have fought hard to earn the respect that we deserve, but for me that doesn't include NOT respecting men, simply because they are men. That is subjugating them to the same sort of harassment and ridicule that women have had to endure. It's almost like a complete role reversal of the 50s commercials. It was wrong then, and it is wrong now.
I agree with ALL the previous posters. It irritates my to constantly see (or hear) a steady stream of television and radio ads, as well as, television shows and cartoons that portray disrespect to spouses, and children to parents. No wonder divorce is on the rise, and their is a general lack of respect among this generation's youth. It makes it very hard for parents to raise loving, respectful children when they are constantly bombarded with derogatory messages. Okay, now I am off my soapbox!
Two thumbs up for repairing the broken handle yourself. I am blessed with a handy brother who has a knack for car repair. The only payment required is a home cooked meal! 😀
Honestly I don't think it's such a big deal. Life is too short to be PC about everything. I asked my husband if he found this offensive (he does his own laundry) and he said no. I think everyone needs to lighten up a little. It's one line for one product in junk mail. It does not speak for all men or women
Yes, but over time, these messages add up.
I agree. Just realize it for what it is. It's an advertisement for a product. I can think of a lot of other things in the world to get worked up over besides a silly commercial. I can understand if others are upset about this stuff, but I just don't give any thought to them.
I rarely pay attention to ads, but for some reason those that degrade anyone - male, female, race, class, appearance - get to me. I've sent e-mails, receiving a generic 'we thank you for your interest'; I've stopped buying products; not much seems to help. As with many things, I think it needs to be a group effort - complaints will work if there are enough of them.
Now, for finding the appropriate paperwork for warranties. After about 5 years of marriage and lots of warranties, proof of purchase, use and care booklets that I could not find easily I devised a simple solution. As all were already in a file cabinet I made file folders in general categories: TV, Radio, Stereo; Kitchen; Office; Tools; Gardening; Car/truck; Computer and so on. Now it usually takes less than 5 minutes to find the needed paperwork. Every other year we cull the files and get rid of anything we no longer own. We also include the paperwork with anything we sell or donate.
Regarding the ad (and all ads that highlight men in a negative light) and without reading the comments below, I have to say that I bristle when women start speaking negatively about men. I am involved with a small group of women who do this, and I think the negative attitude is a barrier to their developing relationships with men. Both women are smart and creative. When I compare them with other women who are dating, I know it has to be the invisible barrier created by the attitude.
I think this is an interesting point that has been coming up more and more. One perspective on this is that as well as being insulting to the male sex, it implies that men can't (or don't) do laundry - also not a good message to reinforce.
I haven't seen that particular commercial, but I've seen lots of others with the same kind of message. I think with the stereotypes for women tend to be they are incapable or they are shrews.
I can't tell you how many times I've ranted to my husband about how much I hate the men are stupid/women are incapable (or shrews) type marketing! Drives me absolutely bats!
Lots of good points here! And I interpert this Bounce ad as being offensive to men and women- because laundry is seen as women's work in the advertising world, it's implying that men would have a hard time handling the task. So their product helps men, who are in an alien world, trying to *gasp* wash some clothes.
I hate television programs, books, advertising, magazine articles, etc. that portray men as incompetent oafs. (I also hate media that portrays women in that type of negative light.) Now that I am married (to a very smart man who sometimes does stupid things--as do I), I am much more conscious of those negative images, sounds, or words. I hope I don't treat my husband as the fool because he doesn't treat me like an idiot. I hope we can both teach our future children about appropriate ways of communicating, whether in person or when speaking about another person.
Also, hooray for the door handle!
At the risk of sounding preachy -- it really boils down to men and women turning away from their God-given identities and roles. Men and women are equal in worth (Galatians 3:28), but not in their roles (Eph. 5:21-33). The feminism movement really made it difficult for everyone -- suddenly men are idiots, and women are superheroes, only it doesn't work that way in reality. Now women need to work twice as hard not only in the workforce but also at home. Men lose their sense of worth because women take over and do things, so men sometimes revert to being lazy instead of the uncomfortable hassle picking a fight with Superwoman.
To live fulfilled lives (with harmony between mean and women), men need respect and women need love (this is a blog comment so I'm not going to go into more detail!), and to get that they need to live within the roles God gave them. Simple, but not necessarily easy!
I totally agree; men need respect and women need love. Obviously both sexes are capable of things they are determined to do, but sometimes it would be easier if we would relax and delineate clear roles for each so life can go smoothly. Certainly each couple would determine their own "roles" within their marriage, but at least there would be expectations and less anxiety/disagreement. My husband and I have shifted roles over the last 6 years as we have both been at school, working, staying home, etc. Now that he's working and I'm home with our 11 month old, the roles are shifting again. We just worked out this morning what we'd like to happen in our new morning routine!
How about everyone needs respect, and everyone needs love? I don't think you have to bring god into it. People should be respectful and loving to each other, man or woman, god-loving or not.
My thought on that topic is this...as a rule (and of course there are exceptions) women's tendency is to give plenty of love but not enough respect (i.e. faithfully doing his laundry while trashing him to the girlfriends), and men's tendency is give to plenty of respect, but not enough love. I think that verse in the Bible addresses our typical deficiencies in relationship, and I don't think it's saying that men don't need love or that women don't need respect.
Lissa-my faith in God is what inspires, motivates, and empowers me to give love and respect. 🙂
Kristen, I didn't mean to imply that anyone's faith in god does or doesn't inspire love & respect, etc. I just was a little irked at the blanket statement that people should do what god meant for them to do. I know that you are religious, but you also do not beseech the non-christians to do what you do, which is why I like you so much, and follow your blog.
It's one thing to use your religion to be the best person you can be, and another entirely to tell people the evils of the world are a direct result from not following god's will. WilliamB said it much more simply than I did, and I thank him for it!
Hmm. I do actually believe that all the evils of this world are a result of sin. If we were all perfect, there wouldn't be wars and fights and stealing and hate and lies and all of that nasty stuff. 🙂
And I do believe that Christianity is true (otherwise I wouldn't BE a Christian, of course! lol).
I guess I just don't make much of a point of saying all of that because most of the time, this is just not the right place. If you asked me what I believe and why, I'd definitely share (I am not at all ashamed of what I believe), but I think that just randomly throwing out stuff about what I believe to the world wide web is probably not the best way to share my faith. I think the best faith-sharing comes after a relationship has been built, because then both people can understand each other better.
I don't know if that made any sense. I guess I just want to communicate that I am indeed very firm in my convictions and faith, and that I do think Jesus is the only way to heaven, and all that. Despite that, though, I love and respect many people who believe differently than I do, and I count a good number of atheist/non-Christian people as my friends.
Bleah. I feel like this is a huge topic that needs tons of explanation, and I feel like I am only scratching the surface.
Lissa - I agree with you. Everyone deserves both love and respect, regardless of gender. More love, more respect - for everyone!
Franci, please do not insist your religiion has the answers for everyone. At least, not on this forum.
The reason people can get away with demeaning men explicitly is that men are the dominant entities. Imagine saying the exact same thing about women, or blacks, or handicapped, or mentally retarded ... it wouldn't happen. (At least not in public or officially.)
I believe that everyone should be free to choose his or her roles, be it Dad working for pay/Mom raising kids and keeping house, or Mom working for pay/Dad raising kids and keeping house, or wife working for pay/husband keeping house, or ... you get the idea. As long as all parties freely and without cultural/familial/coersion bias agree to the deal.
The reason people can get away with demeaning men explicitly is that men are the dominant entities. Imagine saying the exact same thing about women, or blacks, or handicapped, or mentally retarded ... it wouldn't happen. (At least not in public or officially.)
As for housework, sometimes I feel not much has changed. I remember this song from decades ago: http://www.lyricszoo.com/marlo-thomas/housework-carol-channing/. The ads haven't changed much. I saw one while watching the football Pro Bowl of Dad and Son playing push-the-bowl-of-salsa-across-the-table with inevitable result. Does Dad or Son use extra strong Bounty to clean up? Of course not! Mom does and never says a thing about how one should clean up after one's own mess.
I believe that everyone should be free to choose his or her roles, be it Dad working for pay/Mom raising kids and keeping house, or Mom working for pay/Dad raising kids and keeping house, or wife working for pay/husband keeping house, or ... you get the idea. As long as all parties freely and without cultural/familial/coersion bias agree to the deal.
Thanks for raising the issue of the "pass" insulting men seems to get in our culture and media. We don't watch a lot of TV, but when we do, it's hard to miss the typical sitcom family hierarchy: the kids are "like way more" hip and clever than the parents, the mom is next in line as the common sense backbone of the family and last in line is dad who is most often portrayed as a clueless buffoon or bumbling nincompoop. You can almost predict every script where the clever kids or the savvy wife manage to redeem some mess or other.
I know women have had to fight stereotyping in movies and TV, especially commercial for a long time (do we really get deep personal satisfaction from lemon scented kitchens and heaps of laundry that smell like a mountain breeze? ) but to turn the tables on men is not the answer. The oddest thing of all is to ponder who writes these scripts and ads. Could it be that male writers think this kind of humor will "speak" to women? That would be another sad commentary altogether. I am raising 2 young men (10 and 14) While I try to point out the strengths in their character, media images of men conspire to paint them as something different, something far less. I guess that explains why we watch so little TV. The only saving grace is the occasional "teachable" moments about world view and culture.
For those who love the Dove commercials, I hear a new will be out soon!
"Anyhow, the product itself is sort of irrelevant." Probably you didn't mean it that way, Kristen, but I find that product (fabric softener) irrelevant! Fake smells, who knows what chemicals.
I don't use them myself, though I do like the way some of them smell.
I have dryer balls, which help to cut down on static cling, and I also line dry a lot of my clothes, especially the sort that tend to get staticky.
I agree! I use dryer balls like Kristin, and vinegar in the washer as fabric softener. I've never really noticed the benefits of dryer sheets anyway, so I'm happy enough with my dryer balls!
Megg (or anyone else who might know),
Can I use vinegar as fabric softener in my front loading washing machine? And would I just pour it in the "fabric softener" compartment?
Thanks,
Elaine
yes, in the fabric softener compartment. Incidentally, Yes! Magazine had an article in its Fall 2010 issue that mentioned running a cup of vinegar through high efficiency machines occasionally when empty to prevent any mold issues. (http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/a-resilient-community/yes-but-how-green-washing)
At times I have sent the offensive print ad to the executive offices of the company. Having worked in several I can tell you that a lot of times the higher ups do not know what is actually being done down below in the organization that may promote it poorly...A friend did the same thing when Barbie came out with a doll that said, "Math is hard"...
Cheryl
Oh dear...I hadn't heard of that doll. lol It's so ridiculous, it's funny.
I remember that! It was a huge Barbie scandal! I think the dolls were even recalled.
When we insult a whole sex - we are insulting God. Men and woman are both created in the image of God - so it is sinful to insult a whole sex like that. I get it was just a joke, but when your "joke" reaches millions of people - it sets a trend in people's train of thought.
This is a huge thing in our family. We are so offended by male bashing that we will not buy certain products or watch TV because we do not want to offer support to this attitude. It was created by advertisers to appeal to women who do the bulk of family shopping. It went from look how smart you are (to buy our product) to look how superior you are because you do. It's just wrong.
I find it still insulting to women. It is framed as if women automatically do laundry, as if it is our job or something we just know how to do from birth. The ad campaign is insulting men by assuming gender roles in the home, which in turn insults all of us.
P.S. I looove your blog! I read it everyday 🙂
Why else would those adds and stereotypes be so harsh?
I don't see it as offensive to men (though I certainly see your point) but rather offensive to women. To me that statement says, even though this is clearly a woman's job, men can do it too! Either way, I don't think it is a very appropriate tagline, and it actually reminds me of those ads from the 50s!
I have really started to notice that too. I mean I knew that humor was popular, but I think it has moved from gentle ribbing to out-and-out contempt. I noticed last year during tax season there was a particularly mean-spirited commercial about a man buying tax software in a box and the woman shouting questions at the box in sarcasm as they came upon problems in their filing. I thought it was over the line. I totally get the marketing behind it, but I think it has moved too far past the line and isn't appealing at all.
At my parent's house, my dad does the majority of cooking and cleaning. He is always offended with the "men are too stupid to cook or clean" ads. It's offensive, and honestly, I think it hurts WOMEN in the long run. This might be one reason why a lot of men do not cook, clean or do their laundry. It's seen as "embarrassing" and something they shouldn't be smart enough to do. A lot of women I know work full-time jobs, and come home to do EVERYTHING because "men can't do it."
i agree! also i don't like the toyota ad for the highlander with the kid acting like most parents are lame. too many kids shows act like parents are so obnoxious and have a lower IQ than the kids. they only raise them and pay for everything they own, make their food, wash their laundry. i hate disrespect in any form.
on a side note, i think the ad for POM juice it very offensive and provocative. if ever i see commercials that are inapropriate, i never buy that product.
I agree about the highlander commercial. I hate it! My problem with the commercial is that it sends the message that as parents, if you cannot afford to drive your kid around in a new car, then you are a bad parent.
I completely agree with your assessment of the ad. It's the exact same way in televesion. The mom's are always protrayed as the genius of the family, who fixes all the problems and cleans up all the 'messes' that the dad's are always getting into. The dad's are always written as stupid, lazy, scheming men who wouldn't be anything if not for the wife. It infuriates me and my husband. Especially since we are Christians who feel that the husband should be a strong leader, head of the household and the final decision maker. Yes, wives are vital to running the family and are naturally better at many things than men are and they should be respected and loved by the husbands, but we feel that God gave men and women roles to fill, and tv completely turns that around to make the women everything and men nothing. I think we need to get back to "Father Knows Best"!
Just my two cents!
What a relief it is to see that many people feel the same way as my husband and I do about the depiction of men in the media. Men and Dads are often belittled in the media-commercials/talk shows/reality television. I think this is one of the contributing factors to so many men in their in their 20s and 30s not "knowing how" to be men. They seem sort of aimless when it comes to jobs and relationships.
Just because my man can't figure out how to load the dishwasher (in the right way), doesn't mean they call can't! 😉
Totally agree. The thing I hate about these "jokes," is that they are really still insulting to women. We see it a lot in TV, the baboon of a husband and the intelligent wife. It's "funny" because it's how we see the world turned upside down. It's a parody of roles. Men still hold more power in general, so it's "funny" to paint them as stupid. It's not empowering to women, it still is insulting them.
At some point over the years of reading the Berenstein books to our children, Papa Bear-bashing really got to me. We made the decision no longer purchase/check out/read the books that might cause our children to look down on their father. As good as the books by Stan and Jan were at teaching simple truths, we could no longer tolerate the way they made the father figure out to be so inadequate. Not all of their books are written this way but The Bike Lesson might have been one of the worse.
I think most tv commercials suggest in some way or another that people are stupid/lazy/incompetent, and therefore are almost invariably offensive and somewhat degrading to someone. The product being advertised is intended as a quick fix to overcome these deficiencies through consumerism. On my list of "favorites" is a laundry product demonstrated by a twenty something male to a crowd of thirty or forty something women, so they can avoid the bleach stains evident on most of the clothing of the women attending his demonstration. I love that I don't know the name of the laundry product, and that what I use has little to no chance of being the one advertised. I don't figure a ten year old's opinion of vehicle options should influence my automotive choices either.
Another type of ad that burns my behind is where really bad behaviour is rewarded. A local retailer ran ads before Christmas showing a young teenager throwing a right royal hissy fit in front of a Christmas tree, because he didn't get the gift he wanted. The solution, of course was to get an expensive snowboard, or something similar from this particular retailer.
I have considered writing to the company, but have previously received the "thanks for your intrest..." responses, so I just make a point not to buy brands that demonstrate what I consider poor ethical standards. Maybe what we need is some kind of blog petition?
The bounce add I agree is not in good taste ,and does reflect our culture that
does not value men, fatherhood or families.
I do have to say that today my husband happens to be home. He kindly
decided to help with laundry, I went to take the clothes out of the dryer
and got a pretty good shock. He did not put a dryer sheet in the dryer.
I thought it was funny that immediately after that I read your post!
lol! That's funny timing. Did you tell him the reason he forgot a dryer sheet is that he's a brainless man??
I distinctly remember my first exposure to women degrading their husbands. I grew up in a household in which you treated Everyone with respect, especially your family members. Both of my parents praised each other in front of us, and regularly talked about how proud they were of each other for various accomplishments, from Ph.D.s to finally getting control of a volatile temper to mastering some aspect of car or house repair.
Anyway, back to that first exposure. I went to a cookie exchange with my mom. It was mostly other women in the neighborhood - I was the youngest person there by decades, but the oldest girl in the neighborhood, plus I love to bake. On a side note, I won the "Best Packaging" award at the tender age of 15. What I mostly remember from that night was feeling vaguely uncomfortable as we all sat around in the living room. Most of the ladies had had a drink or two, and all of a sudden the entire conversation, minus Mom and me, turned into a husband-bashing fest, with each wife trying to one-up the others in the stupid thing(s) her husband had done recently.
I thought it was weird that they had married men they disliked and disrespected so much, and said as much to my mom on the walk home. She replied that some women always look for the worst and overlook the best in their mates, that some women feel the need to make themselves out to be saints for living with these lazy slobs, and that some women really do just pick poorly when it comes to a spouse. She also told me that's why my dad doesn't really like going out for drinks with coworkers, either - for some reason, those meetings tend to turn into wife-bashing sessions, and Dad is very proud of and in love with Mom, and refuses to participate, which makes for a very boring evening.
So I guess the lesson is to watch who you hang out with, and always watch what you say about your spouse. If you really did marry a completely lazy, insensitive slob, that doesn't say much for your ability to choose wisely, so maybe you shouldn't advertise it!
Oh, man...I so agree! Sometimes I want to say, "Well, um, YOU picked him!". lol
I'm not offended by the ad, but it does seem like it's now "okay" to make fun of men, while it's not to make fun of women... Not really sure either is okay, but I'm not very sensitive to such things.
For example, another blog I read:
http://www.punchdebtintheface.com/2011/01/grumpy.html
he got some flack for the comment about being on his period... Didn't offend me, I thought it was funny, but some people sure didn't like it.
I think it's very very hard not to offend people sometimes... While I certainly wouldn't say "so easy even a man/woman could do it" in an advertising campaign, I'm not really bothered by that. If I don't like it, I don't buy the product. If I didn't like Ninja's sense of humor, I wouldn't read his blog. I guess I don't see the point in getting worked up about things like some people do.
I'm sure someone will probably come along and point out that I've been desensitized and I should be upset by these things, but seriously, I have more important things going on in my life and I can vote with my dollar or my readership, so why make a fuss?
I've had my own rants on men-bashing. Glad to know someone else out there doesn't feel it necessary to say that all men are horrible which of course implies that all woman are fabulous. Hello! that would include such towers of virtue and brilliant women as Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan! My Tommy doesn't mesh me in with those types and I don't think him a cretin. Works for us!
Exactly.
I haven't read all the other posts so I apologize if this is a repeat, but, in my humble opinion, this all can be traced back to the feminist movement of the 70s! In an effort to be "equal", women have resorted to bashing men and making them look stupid (watch tv for a few hours, some night! All the husbands/dads are portrayed as bumbling idiots!). This makes me scratch my head because so many women long to be equal with what----bumbling, stupid idiots???!! Hello!!!!
Please don't put this burden on feminists! I'm a feminist and have many, many feminist friends, and none of us talk about/treat men this way. We respect everyone. I think it's just as wrong to say "So easy a man could do it" as it is to say "So easy a woman could do it."
If it's traced to the feminist movement, it's because it is, as another reader said, an over-correction.
I don't think the times when it was ok to make commercials like this about women were good, and neither do I think this culture where men are proverbial punching bags is good. Men and women should both be equally valued, and they should certainly each be taken on a case-by-case basis.
"If it's traced to the feminist movement, it's because it is, as another reader said, an over-correction." But I still don't see how this logically means the "over-correction" is automatically assumed to be the result of the feminist movement. As I said to Jen, media and marketing companies are far and away run by men, not by die hard feminist women. In addition, any cursory study of feminism will reveal that respect absolutely goes to both men and women, equally. Between those two facts, it just makes me shake my head in confusion when this is traced back to the feminist movement...
I heartily agree Cate. I'm a feminist because I am just as saddened by stereotypes that confine men as those that confine women. I get tired of hearing feminism re-defined into something it isn't at all, and I get even more tired of hearing feminism blamed for things that it isn't responsible for...
When people complain about feminism being so terrible, all I can do is shake my head and think "do you not like to vote? do you not like being able to go to school? do you not like being able to get a job? do you not like being able to divorce an abusive man? do you not like being able to charge your husband with rape if he assaults you? do you not like being able to get credit in your own name?
I can assure you that all of the above that I have listed is what the feminist movement has accomplished- the main goal is not to make men look stupid. That isn't even a goal at all. It is counter to the ideals of feminism, equality, and respect. Jen, you are free to have your opinion but I think the conclusion you have come to is one that is not very fair to feminism.
If you research the companies who are creating these ads, across the board they are dominated by men. In fact, the majority of most media is run by men. It isn't run by feminists who want to bring men down a peg, which you seem to imply when you say this- "In an effort to be "equal", women have resorted to bashing men and making them look stupid (watch tv for a few hours, some night! All the husbands/dads are portrayed as bumbling idiots!)."
I hope I'm in the right spot. This is my first time to comment on any site. period. I've enjoyed following you and your frugal-inspiring-ways since I first heard about you a year or so ago. I wanted to comment about the Bounce Dryer Bar ad and how, as you so correctly stated, 'our culture feels like it's ok to insult men". That is not a new trend. I have noticed the like for 15-20 years . . . in numerous sitcoms and commercials where the guy is made to look like a buffoon. And you're right, if they tried doing that to a woman there would be a tremendous outcry. My husband is no fool. He can be, sometimes, even brilliant. Although, at other times, he makes me want to bang my head against the wall, lol. We do go about things very differently and I say 'viva la difference'! Some of those differences are very nice. No? I think that we need to stop and appreciate our different perspectives. And certainly treat each other with respect.
Yep, you're in the right spot! and yep, I agree. Mr. FG and I both do brilliant AND stupid things. lol
Gosh, I find the ad offensive to both men and women. It implies not only that most men are too stupid to do laundry, but also that because I am a woman I'm somehow supposed to be a domestic expert. Or worse, that the domain in which I might have more knowledge or skill than my husband is confined to the domestic. Gross.
I think it's wrong to degrade anyone, regardless of sex, race, religion, etc and unlike a lot of the comments here, it has nothing to do with my faith. It has to do with the very first lesson I ever remember learning - "treat others how you want to be treated." Or maybe the second lesson - "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
I agree with pretty much all the comments here...and as a side note...why would I use a permanent or semi-permanent adhesive in my dryer that is hopefully going to last for the next 15 years!?! Is the product going to be around for just as long, in this form? I think not!!!! Regular dryer sheets are not so hard...you still have to physically move the laundry between machines...takes 2 more seconds to move the sheet from box to dryer!!!
Oh my. I was going to weigh in this morning when the comments were few, but decided to come back later after composing my thoughts... only to find it's mostly not necessary, as I completely agree with the sentiments already expressed.
I am a single father of four boys. I too am infuriated at the portrayal of men in the media as incompetent, unskilled, and juvenile. The message being broadcast is that men are incapable of even basic tasks, and need women to step in and 'fix' everything. I've taught all of my sons that men are equally capable at performing tasks that are typically regarded as 'female' in nature. I cook and clean and sew, and so do my boys. I also fix things around the house, and teach them to do the same. Someday they'll be on their own, and will need to know how to re-attach a button to a shirt, or get a juice stain out of carpet. There won't always be someone there to clean up after them and take care of their every need.
I think part of it may be that the media is trying to highlight that women serve a necessary function in society and hold very important roles in men's lives. But the message is completely lost when it becomes 'man VS. woman,' pitted against each other, instead of 'man AND woman,' working together cooperatively. I am all for empowering girls and women to be strong, competent individuals. But not at the expense of boys and men. It's destructive, and completely unnecessary.
Then again, it could be that some advertising executive thought it was funny to make social commentary on men's seeming inability to perform basic household tasks. I'm reminded of one of my favorites for its over-the-top ridiculousness: a commercial for paper towels that has the hapless husband attempting to use a blender without affixing the top, thus spraying goop all over the kitchen, which the wife then cleans up (thanks to her awesomely absorbent paper towels) and sighs helplessly at her idiot spouse.
Equally as bad though are the commercials where women are confused with the proper technique for using a screwdriver or a pair of pliers, and need a miracle power tool to help. #rolleyes
Wow, that was longer than I intended it to be! BTW Karen, I love your blog, and read it every morning, and have shared many of your recipes with friends and family!
Oops, I mean Kristen! It's been a long day!
I dislike the ad *and* dislike the product. A bit of vinegar in your wash is a much more frugal (and healthier!) option in my opinion...
Check out the monkey hook: Their slogan is "So easy even humans can do it!" lol... http://www.monkeyhook.com/
I'm all for humour, but not at the sake of someone else. I have phoned a number of companies whose commercials I have found offensive. Herbal Essence, Dairy Queen and M&M's to name a few. Call them up and tell them how you feel because it does make a difference!
This exact thing happened to my Toyota van the other day. Can I ask where you ordered the metal part from to fix it? It is such a pain to not be able to use that back storage area.
We got ours from 1A Auto Parts: http://www.1aauto.com/1A/TailgateHandles/Toyota/Sienna/1ABTH00049/354196?utm_source=google_base&utm_medium=comparisonshopping&utm_campaign=gb_api_br&year=2000&utm_content=BTH
I'm not affiliated with them, but they did offer a good part at a good price, and the shipping was prompt.
kristen, there's currently an ad for post-it notes that does this same exact thing to me every time I see it. The set up is this: Husband has a task board in the garage and he has spent a very long time writing post-it notes to fill his task board (envision a grid with maybe 50 post-its). He's made a plan about how he is going to tackle his to do list. He's being proactive, AND he's proud of his accomplishment. He's ready to start. Wife comes out, takes one look at the board, grabs the leaf blower and blows every single post it off the wall. She then instructs him that next time he should use the kind of post-its that have the sticky on the entire note, rather than just the one edge. --- WHAT?!? ---
I'm insulted on SO many levels. I personally support my husband and his projects. I love it when he makes a plan and executes that plan. Extra high fives all around. I also think of the amount of time that goes into a to do list like that should be respected (being a visual person, I appreciate how it can be helpful to see ideas structured in that way, and understand how frustrating it would be to lose that work). Plus, post-it is ripping on their own product with this ad. Oh, and the worst -- the last image of the commercial is the wife smiling, totally pleased with what I would call a cruelty, and the husband has this look of what can best be described as "golly, my wife was right again, and I am kind of a dope."
It makes my blood boil. There are a million ways to sell a product, and for me, this is not one of them.
The commercials that offend and anger me the most are the ones that end with "Have a Happy Period!". I had (let's see now, 40 years x 12 [no pregnancies] = )480 periods and not one of them was happy! I cannot believe a woman had anything to do with that ad campaign. I'm just glad I don't need their products any more. If I did, I would change to another brand.
Gender bashing really has no place in our society. We need to support each other and treat each other with respect.
I truly dislike the "men are buffoons who cannot do household tasks" or "men are bumbling idiots" themes that run through ads and sitcoms. As another commenter pointed out, this is often linked to implying that women are somehow inherently, naturally "better" at domestic tasks- which is also insulting! So the two sides of this coin are offensive to me all the way around. My father was a hands on, awesome dad, who was as adept at cooking and cleaning and braiding my hair as he was at pouring concrete and building houses. These kind of silly, lazy jokes based on gender differences are *so tired* and I don't find them amusing at all.
As it is my husband who does the majority of the laundry in our home I am positive he would be slightly offended by the idea that "even a man could do it." Not only does he pre-treat stains, wash them, check them, hang things up to air dry, but he also makes sure we have the washer cleaner to keep our washer right as rain.
I think we've lost a bit of general respect in this country. It used to be that men respected women and vice versa, children respected adults, everyone respected elders. Now I see all of these rules broken over and over. I understand no one is perfect, we each have moments where we say something disrespectful. But it concerns me that this is becoming more and more common. (and I'm in my 20's!......I have a lot of time left to deal with this craziness!)
Not having seen the ad it would be foolish of me to comment on its appropriateness. I don't pay very much attention to ads. I listen to BBC radio programmes and watch BBC channels, none of which carry any. I don't regularly read magazines and I pretty much ignore hoardings etc. The purpose of advertising is to grab the attention of the consumer and sell a product and it seems to me that advertising agents will do almost anything to do so. They play with public perceptions - sometimes to reinforce, sometimes to challenge and sometimes to ridicule. I suspect that the Bounce ad was trying to do the latter. I'm not aware of any campaign to denigrate men (but will pay more attention in the future). My pet hates are ads that encourage people to buy cars, or overpackaged goods, or unhealthy food. The best defense against these is to refrain from buying the products.
I stopped reading Cosmopolitan when my sons were around 2 and 4 (now 23 and 25) as I became so aware how it seemed ok to belittle men in their pages, whilst being a magazine for strong, independant women.
Now many years later I am still appalled how 'okay' it is , to be sexist towards men in the media, but if it was towards a woman, the whole country would be up in arms (I am In the UK).
Yes men are Stupid sometimes, but so are us women....we are all Human.
Also seeing the pressure young boys have growing up and the high instances of Mental health problems in young males, you would think something would be done to stop this public rend of derogatory remarks about men.
arghhh........