It's going to be imperfect. Keep trying anyway.
This post contains affiliate links, which earn revenue for this site at no extra cost to you. See my disclosure policy here.
The other day, I opened a new bar of soap from Third Day Naturals, and I set the wax paper wrapper aside to add to my compost.
That was a nice no-waste feeling, and it lasted for a brief moment.
But then I remembered the banana peel I'd thrown in the trash the night before (instead of the compost), and immediately, I had a, "Why bother?" moment about the soap wrapper.
The banana peel was certainly a bigger addition to my trash than the soap wrapper, so I felt like it was pointless to compost the soap wrapper.
(Of course, it wasn't. Any compost is an improvement over trash!)
So, then I started thinking about all the other ways we do this (and I include myself here.):
- we get a late fee and immediately start thinking our money saving efforts are a waste
- we get takeout once and then give up on cooking for the rest of the week
- we waste a bunch of food and then feel like eating the new leftovers is a waste of time
- we buy a lunch for our kid and then think it's a waste of time to sell something on eBay (Because the lunch was more expensive than what we earned from selling something)
(This way of thinking is super common when it comes to healthy eating/exercising too, but that's not what this blog is about.)
Anyway, then I started thinking about how ridiculous this line of thinking would be if we applied it to other arenas.
For instance, let's say you lose your temper with one of your kids in the morning. Would you then think it's not worth bothering to be kind to them that afternoon?
Or if you were late to a meeting one week, would you think it's not worth trying to be on time the next week?
If you burnt dinner one night, would you think that makes future dinner-cooking pointless?
If you forgot your mom's birthday one year, would you not bother trying to remember the next year?
Accept that it'll be imperfect. And keep on trying.
No one does things perfectly.
Every effort at improvement is going to be a mixture of successes and failures.
And a failure here and there most certainly does not erase a long line of successes.
Two examples:
Would it have been great if I composted my banana peel AND my soap wrapper?
Sure.
But my composting efforts, even when a little spotty, have saved hundreds of pounds of waste from hitting the landfill.
I should definitely not give up over a banana peel!
Would it be great if I never got takeout?
I'd definitely have more money if I managed that.
But my cooking efforts have, over the years, saved us thousands upon thousands of dollars. A $15 pizza night here and there does not negate that.
Zoom out and look for a net improvment.
The important thing is that the net effect of your actions is an improvement.
So, when you feel like throwing in the towel and giving up, it might help to zoom out so that you can get a more accurate view.
In other words, stop focusing on the banana peel, and think about the zillions of buckets of produce peels you've tossed into the compost. 😉
You really should be a life coach!
I can totally identify as I'm still flogging myself over a series of incidents in trying to help my mom. I was able to sell a few of her collectibles for a good price, but the same day she received a huge bill for meds because her mail-order pharmacy lied to me about her copay.
Ugh, I know exactly the line of thinking you are experiencing! It's so frustrating when things cancel each other out like that.
But the fact of the matter is, it still was smart of you to sell her collectibles, because the medical bill was still going to arrive. At least now you have funds for it.
So, you WERE still helpful!
Someone once summed it up when we were talking about eating healthy and we slip up. She said if you get a flat tire, does that mean you're going to slash your other three tires? Of course not...so fix the flat and keep moving. 🙂
This may be the best example EVER.
Wow KS; that's awesome
I love this! All or nothing thinking certainly gets me into a trap of my own design. I think I need to print and post this somewhere highly visible, to get the reminder over and over.
I attended a yoga class yesterday and we talked about the first yama: ahimsa, which means non-harming. The teacher said that we need to treat ourselves as we would treat others, to not be so hard on ourselves. This would apply in this situation.
It also reminds me the saying "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good". We're all works in progress.
Himsa means envy. Ahimsa will be developing awareness of what triggers your envy (of others) and then working toward self discipline- so you keep bringing back your focus on you (not them).
K D, that is one of my favorite sayings. Similarly, Jewish sage said something to the effect that we're going to [achieve a justice-related goal] but that does not relieve us of the obligation to try.
Not have any luck tracking down the exact saying or sage but the sentiment remains true.
I think of that quote all the time. It's way better to do something rather than hold back until you've got perfection.
This was a big thing for me growing up - I felt to do something it had to be 'perfect' to make it worthwhile but recently I've been reflecting that sometimes it's a mixture of fear & pride "if I don't do it perfectly everyone will know I'm not that good' so fear of not meeting perceived expectation & 'needing' to succeed b/c then people will love me and pride - if it's not perfect it won't make me look good'. Took me years to work that out - funny I recently learned the art of being the boy who gave Jesus his two loaves & fishes & watching Him feed five thousand people with it, knowing I'm loved & just giving what I have & trust him for the rest.
I am all about the “net improvement” concept! And habits like composting eventually become second nature, and you won’t be able to toss your banana peel anywhere else 🙂 Baby steps in the right direction is where it’s at.
The embarrassing thing is: I've been composting since 2008! Ha. So I don't think my problem is that I'm too new at it...it's just that I'm probably not ever going to get to composting 100% of compostable items.
BUT. I have composted hundreds of pounds of scraps that would otherwise be trash, so this has totally not been a waste of time.
Sometimes it's a really slippery day, hence the banana peel!
Sometimes a huge sigh is all it takes to turn your circumstances around!
I struggle with composting in the winter. I feel guilty sending it down the disposal or sometimes it gets trashed. I hate the cold so much and get frustrated having to traipse across the yard in the snow and/or biting cold wind. I have to accept that it's not going to be perfect, and the other 8-9 months of the year we are doing great.
Winter is definitely tougher!
And you are right. If everyone in the world composted 9 months out of the year, we'd be keeping so many food scraps out of the landfills, and it would make a huge difference.
If your areas gets cold enough, you could put the compost into bags, and leave the bags out to stay frozen till spring.
Put those bags in the unheated garage or shed! Otherwise, a feast for wildlife, who somehow smell it and rip the bag up, etc. How do I know this?? Lol. I actually have a couple of different compost options: a big pile way back in my yard, those plastic bins that sit on the ground, AND one on a metal stand that can be flipped to mix it. When it gets cold (Illinois, first little blizzard today) I can drag the one on the stand to right by my patio, so I can use it all winter by walking 20 feet instead of 100 feet to the other bins. My Dad used to have one big metal garbage can with a tight lid that he put outside the back door when winter came. In spring he would tip it over and roll it to mix, and then roll it to where he needed some compost. But if you can't do these, just do what you can...
So, I was wondering why you didn't pick the banana peel out of the garbage, and also surprised that waxed paper soap wrapper would go in the compost. Maybe its not really wax? You must have been doing this for years so you know if it works and if it contains petroleum products or not. I do enjoy being a little bit of a mad scientist and putting various paper items in to see if they breakdown or not...
I think the change you made to the way you publish your blog seems fine, although I didn't have any issues with the other way either! I'm just happy that you keep doing it!
If I recall correctly, I checked with my reader who makes the soap to confirm that the wrapper was compostable. 🙂
And I always put my butter wrappers in there too, since those are wax paper. They break down just fine.
The banana peel was already buried beneath other trash in the kitchen trash can, and I really did not feel like digging through it to find the peel. Honesty!
I also struggle with composing in the winter! One thing I started doing this winter (the kids have a snow day today so I'll count it as winter) is that when my compost bucket gets full and I'm headed somewhere like school pickup, I'll put the bucket on the counter by the door. Then when I get home and I'm already all geared up, I plop the kids inside and go empty the bucket. Way better than making a special trip outside for it!
I accidentally signed up to receive your emails at the end of the week so can you please change that I will receive each post as you post it, please? Thanks
I just switched it for you, so you should get one on Wednesday!
Thanks so much!
Oo, yes, I have to fight that feeling sometimes. I expect myself to always get it right, and to be honest, I kind of have the reputation for always getting it right, so pride comes in there, too. I don't like to have to admit I got it wrong! And your examples of how that would play out in the rest of your life had me chuckling. Imagine -- oh, I forgot to feed the dog! Guess I'll just quit doing it. Oh, I forgot to put on my deodorant. Well, why bother wearing it anymore? The more I think about that thought process, the more ridiculous it is.
Thank you for these words! It just so happens I had one of those moments today, so thanks for the reinforcement!
I love the quote "Zoom out and look for net improvement" What an awesome concept. Instead of focusing on 1 behavior, in 1 instance, focus on the whole! LOVE IT!!!
With me it is my age. .We composted carefully and intensively for years. Then, quite recently I thought "what the H***. My tiny footprint would make no difference if it were 1,000 times heavier in the main picture, so why should I bother". I really have to fight this--so much easier to trash everything I need to and who cares where it goes.
This conversation helps enormously. I am very grateful for it and I like this new arrangement of yours very much.
I’m definitely someone who does this. If I spend too much on groceries early on in the week, I give up the budget because I already “lost the game”. I think it’s mainly on things I WANT to do though, I want to spend as much as I can on shopping so I subconsciously grasp at the opportunity.
One saying I use is:
Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly, until I learn to do it well.
Composting, like many repetitive tasks, is a journey.
Your composting is saving the world one banana peel, one wax paper at a time.
I grew up in a household where perfection was the expectation. Even driving my mother to dad's funeral was laced with the comment, "It isn't good enough." But I am embracing done is better than perfect.
My example is that today I am looking after my two year old granddaughter and we are potty training. She will learn from her failures and successes. After all there is alway next time.
Reminding myself that I need to give myself the same grace I extend to others has been helpful for me the last few years. It's easier for me to be gracious with others (I should specify "adults" as I'm still working on how to show and teach my kids grace) when they make a mistake than it is to be gracious with myself.
But the reasoning applies in my parenting struggles like you mentioned... Just because I struggle one day with giving grace to my children who still have so much to learn doesn't mean that I should stop being gracious with them. That'd be crazy.
Such a great piece and ideas we can't hear enough -- Perfection IS the enemy of good! (I think you said that awhile back. I guess we all struggle with this, so this post really pops.
I do remember 35 or so years ago, a friend was complaining that even if she put $100 a month into savings, big deal -- it would only be $1200 dollars a year -- could that buy a house, travel, all the wonderful things she wanted?? I pointed out the magic of compound interest over the many years that were stretching before us, not that I was any great shakes in this area myself. (ah, the 80s -- our salaries were small but our hair was big) Still -- it was compelling for a few minutes. It is so darn easy to go to the negative, what's-the-use? place. Really appreciate this is so many things -- not just $$$.
Have you ever done a composting post? I'd love to see the results of your efforts!
I agree with Linda! Would love to see you do a focused post on your composting efforts. What kinds of items you compost, what your "bin" set up looks like and how you manage that, how you prepare and hold items to take out to your compost bin, tips you've picked up along the way, problems you've run into, pics of any finished compost, and how you like to use the compost, etc. etc. It would be very inspiring! I'm attempting to compost over here and I always find posts like those very encouraging and helpful.
Okee-doke! I'll do it.
This comment has nothing to do with your post. Magazinedeals.com has Cook's Illustrated for $11.00 a year. Today only.
Love this blog today. I struggle to traipse the "mile" to the compost bin in the far corner of my yard when it's cold, snowing or raining. Thanks to commenters, I will use a separate trashcan right off the porch, including turning it by rolling it. Great ideas!!
Oh, that's a great example with the never cooking dinner again after burning it once! It's true we are kind of wired to give up more easily after a failure, but so important to persevere!