I'm back from South Dakota!
I'm not sure my blog has ever been quiet for an entire week in the last (almost) 9 years of its existence!
We'll be back to frugal stuff tomorrow, but today I wanted to tell you a little bit about my trip, if you'll indulge me.
Last Monday, I flew to South Dakota with my parents and my three siblings for my grandpa's memorial service.
He was 99 when he died late last year, and for a variety of reasons, my dad's family waited until now to have the service.
My grandma and grandpa raised my dad and his three brothers in a tiny town in South Dakota, and during my childhood years, we visited every summer.
Two of my uncles had moved away, and so had my dad, but my one uncle and his wife lived there with their three kids, one of whom was a girl around the age of my sister and me.
Visiting that little town was one of the highlights of my summer each year. My cousin and my sister and I spent every waking minute together (and some sleeping minutes too!).
We biked to the town pool and playground, played in my cousin's backyard, helped my aunt in her flower shop, made flower deliveries for her on bike...those are such blissful days in my memory.
Plus, my grandma was there, with cookies and pan upon pan of sweet rolls, and she was always so happy to see us.
I didn't see my grandpa quite as much, as he was always busy at his garage with the men, working on cars and such. But I do remember sitting on his lap, and it seems like he usually had a quarter in his pocket to give me. 😉
Anyway, this town and my grandparents' house and my uncle's house hold some of my dearest childhood memories, and I hadn't been back to visit since 1996.
My grandma died when Lisey was a small baby, so I didn't make it out for her funeral.
And the cousin my sister and I played with died in an accident in 2007 when Zoe was just a year old, so I didn't make it for her service either.
But this time, my kids were all old enough to manage without me, so I had the option to go.
At first I waffled. Would it be too sad to go see my happy childhood place without so many of the people who made it special?
I ultimately decided that I'd feel more regret over going than not, and as it turns out, that was the right decision.
I am unspeakably grateful that I got to go. I almost burst into happy tears at the first sight of my grandparents' house, and oh, the smells when I walked inside. I felt like I was 10 again.
And that unique echoey sound when I ran up the stairs to the bedroom where I always slept? Exactly the same. It made my heart so happy.
My sister and I slept in the same childhood bed where we spent so many summer nights as kids, my extended family played cards around the familiar dining room table, we ate a meal that's been a family favorite forever, and I got to see my uncle and aunt's house, which brought back so many delightful memories.
I almost always visited in July, and my goodness, as soon as I saw that house, I suddenly felt like it was a hot July day again.
Plus, all of my uncles and aunts from that side were there, along with three of my cousins. It was so, so good to see them all, and for that reason alone, I'd have been happy that I went.
I can't really even put to words how wonderful it was to go back to see so many people and places that I love.
If you saw this town and these houses, you would probably not think there was anything super noteworthy about them.
It's just that they hold innumerable happy memories for me, and that makes them anything but ordinary.
Of course, we had my grandpa's memorial service, and I cried all the tears, but honestly, the tears really stemmed from a happy place. I loved my grandma and grandpa dearly, and I know they loved me, and so that's why I have big feelings about them.
You generally feel a great sense of loss when you've had something good, so it's a bittersweet thing.
My dad and my uncles buried my grandpa's ashes in the same small church graveyard where my grandma and my cousin are buried. Since I hadn't been back since they died, the enormity of it all really hit me there, and I cried for the loss of all three of them.
So, it was sad, but I'm still so glad I was there. I think it provided some sense of closure for me, and it was especially good to be there with my sister, who was always with me during our childhood visits.
This tree-lined grassy path connects my grandparent's house to my cousin's house, and our little trio of girls ran back and forth between those houses so many times.
In fact, this has popped up in my dreams more than once, and it was so lovely to walk it again.
The day we were scheduled to fly home, I came down with an awful norovirus, so that was sort of a bummer end to the trip.
I did manage to make it thru the flights (It was the first time I've upchucked in an airplane!), and I spent my first few days at home recuperating.
You know how I know that I really, really am glad I went on the trip?
Even if I'd known that a miserable stomach bug was waiting for me, I'd still have chosen to go, a thousand times over.
I'm almost back to my normal self now, mercifully, and this blog should be back to its normal self too now.
Thank you for letting me share my trip with you!
Welcome back, Kristen. You were missed!
So sorry for your losses. But so happy that you experienced closure and remembered all the happy times. And those seemed like really happy times.
Loved the stroll down memory lane with you! Thanks! So sorry for the buggie that bit you!
Welcome back! We missed you. I'm so glad it was a positive experience. I also have a childhood village that is my happy place and can identify with much of your description.
Glad you're feeling better, and happy you made the trip!
All the feels. And isn't the middle of the U.S. such a lovely place? For more reasons than the prairie horizon.
This was a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.
My parents both grew up in South Dakota (Iroquois and Esmond), but they settled out here after I was born. When I was young, we would drive out there most summers in our station wagon, my little sister and me in the "way back." Seeing your pictures made me smile, because the streets look almost identical to some of those in Iroquois, where my parents retired to! Yep--they're back where they started. Ruby and I might be making a trip this summer as soon as school gets out. So glad you were able to make the trip. Very meaningful.
I'm not sure I've ever been there, but I know I remember my grandparents talking about Iroquois!
Oh no, sorry to hear about the stomach bug!
But what a great way to celebrate your grandpa's memory. 🙂 I feel this exact same way when I'm able to visit my family up in Oklahoma. Those childhood memories are so precious.
It just goes to show you that money isn't everything.
Welcome back.
I am so glad you got to revisit a happy place even as you said goodbye to loved ones.
I am sorry for your losses, but your insights into the trip made it feel like I was watching a movie of your childhood. It sounds like the groundwork of a great novel...wink wink 🙂
That's a really good idea- or if not a novel, just an autobiography/memoir!
Hi Kristen!
Thank you for sharing those special memories and photos.
Hugs from a distance!
Where in SD? I am from Rapid City, and completely know the "happy place" feeling it brings. My parents were both from ND, and I always felt the same up there, as well. My parents are selling their home this year to move out to my new town in Virginia. To say that my heart literally broke that day is an understatement. I still cry thinking about it. When will I get to go back? Will my kids get to experience what it is like to live in that sort of environment and community? I don't know. I am glad you got to experience it when you were little and again now. I am sorry for your loss, and am so glad you were able to go back for the service.
I was about an hour outside of Sioux Falls, but I've been to Rapid City as a child, as we visited Mount Rushmore and the Black Hills multiple times!
Luckily for me, my uncle is taking ownership of my grandparents' house, so although I'm relatively sure I'm not going back in the near future, I do at least know it's an option.
I'm sorry about your parents selling their home! I know that must be so hard.
You were up in my neck of the woods. I'm so glad you were able to go back and celebrate a life well lived and connect with family.
So glad it was a good trip! I have been studying memory lately, and yes, the physical re-enactment of things does a lot to recall images and stories up from the depths of the brain. The ability to recall happy memories in the present does much to make time seem richer. These stories remind us of who we are. So in many ways, a good use of time 🙂
And the smells! The different parts of my grandparents' house have such distinct smells and boy, those brought back memories too.
Smells are such a great memory trigger.
Smells, and taste too. Tropicana orange juice makes me think of my grandmother
What a beautiful blog. I, too, grew up in a small town (in Colorado) next door to my grandparents. They were a big part of my everyday life. Both of my grandparents are now gone and their home belongs to someone else -- but every time I visit my parents I feel that longing. Bless you, Kristen!
My mom was born in Menno, South Dakota (near Yankton), and we went back to visit the Aisenbrey aunts, uncles, and cousins almost every summer. Looking at your photos of your family's little town reminds me so much of Menno -- tugs at my heart!
Oh, I've been to Yankton! We camped there when I was maybe 12 or 13. Good times.
Hi Kristen,
Welcome back!
So sorry for your sad tears, but so happy for your happy tears!
So happy that you were able to make all these new memories, as well as relive some old memories with your loved ones. Thank you for sharing this with us in such a beautiful way. May you be blessed with better health from here on out!!!
Wow, just wow. All of it. Thank you for sharing.
What a lovely post and wonderful memories. I completely agree that when you've had something good, the loss involves big, bittersweet feelings. I visited my grandparents' house every summer too (farther west in Walla Walla, Washington) and still think that if I were plunked down there blindfolded today, I'd know where I was.
What a beautiful post, Kristen. It's funny how our days become wrapped up with being moms and wives but a trip like this can make you feel just like a kid again. I'm so glad you went.
What a beautiful story! Thank you so much for sharing. I have that same flood of wonderful memories when I walk into what was my great aunt's house. It's the smell that gets me. How nice that all of your siblings were able to make it back together, even for a sad reason.
On a gross note, on my flight home from a conference yesterday the guy beside me was sick and vomiting. Then two of my three children woke up in the middle of the night sick and vomiting. What is with all the throwing up!? Man, I hope I'm not next.
Yes! The smells are such strong triggers. Sometimes, I've been in buildings that smell a little like my grandma's house and I'm immediately taken back.
So sorry about your sick kiddos. I hope you stay well!
I spent all of my summers at my grandparents (both sets) & cousins homes in the 'middle of nowhere', Alabama, so I completely understood your feelings and I feel the same way when I return there too. Beautiful, sweet, innocent memories that we tuck away but are never too far from our hearts. God Bless!
It was so fun to see the pictures of your trip. I grew up in SD, just south of Sioux Falls in Centerville. We always travel back at Christmas and occasionally in the summer. It will be where I always call home even though I now live in PA. â¤. I'm so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful post - I am sorry for your loss, but glad you took time off to be with family. Your post brought back a rush of memories for me of my own grandmothers' houses and the time I shared with them. They are both gone and their houses sold, but all I have to do is close my eyes and I can visit them in my mind with every detail intact... Thank you for inspiring me to have a mental visit with my grandmothers today! May your good memories sustain you as you grieve the loss of someone dear.
Yes, exactly. I can see all the details of the town and the houses in my mind, even if I don't have pictures of all of it. Memories are a lovely thing.
Ginny, you said everything I wanted to say! Kristen, this post is going to be one of my favorites​! So touching to read and to help all your readers go back to special memories of their own! So warm, so teary eyed!
Thank you so much for sharing!
There is something about having known grandparents as both a child and an adult....it leaves an even bigger hole when they are gone.
I'm so glad you got to take this trip. Thank you for sharing.
Oh great. Now you've got me crying. You see, I buried my mother this weekend, and she was from S. Dakota. We didn't visit nearly as often as you and your sister, but I love the state. I joke about the fact I have my mother's genes and love open spaces and wide vistas. And the path between your house and your cousin's reminded me so of the path between my childhood home and my friend's house right behind as I am trying to clean up the house and get it ready for sale.
Thank you.
What a beautiful, touching story to share with us, as well as gorgeous pictures. Never have been to SD but looks absolutely wonderful - tranquil, classic. Thanks
I teared up at this. My paternal grandma is 99 this year. I know I won't have her much longer. Thanks for sharing these happy memories with us. 🙂
Beautiful post and photos. I was a little surprised how much I missed you while you were gone!
I am a midwesterner and it is magical somehow, right? I just lost my last grandparent at 100 years old and it feels sad and strange. How lucky I was, though, right?
I had Norovirus in February and it was AWFUL, incapacitating, uncomfortable, and super-embarrassing. There's nothing that can be done except try to get water and Gatorade in so as not to have to be hospitalized. After a week, it's gone, but it's very contagious. Glad you're OK!
I'm surprised at how long it's taken me to feel like myself again. The actual vomiting and such lasted only 12 hours or so, but boy, I was just exhausted for days afterward. And I didn't have much of an appetite for a while either.
Amazingly enough, none of my extended family caught it, and none of my own family got it once I got home. Sweet mercy!
It's always good to go back to places where your childhood memories will be revisited. We reminisce joyful life and most of the time, we appreciate our life more for having those experiences.
I'm glad you're back and I'm sorry for your losses.
South Dakota is such a beautiful state! The first time I've been there was when we went to see the Mount Rushmore and the Badlands and that was in 2009. I loved it!
A few years ago, I got to visit my childhood home. I live in California now but the home I visited was in rural New York-quite a distance.
Like you, I had trouble "putting into words" the emotion that came with visiting that home. I felt my family so strongly in that home-even though there is a whole new family living there now.
They say you can't go back again. But, you can visit. =)
It's so hard to explain, isn't it? But you feel like your heart will burst.
I read this post -- your most beautiful one -- with tears in my eyes. I grew up in South Dakota, so I was hoping you'd write about your return. What golden childhood memories you shared, I can picture the fun.
I can only go back in memory now. I realized at the time that my mother's funeral was probably the last time I'd be there. When I left the farm the night before our return, I walked toward the car into a glorious big sky sunset, which seemed like perfect closure.
That sounds just lovely.
We had some sun while we were there, but the most miraculous thing is that it wasn't windy. There was just a gentle breeze blowing during my grandpa's burial, and I thought it was quite perfect.
Thank you Kristen for sharing :). You words took me to a a trip to South Dakota with little Kristen. I like you both now.
Thanks for sharing such a personal story, and such a beautiful tribute to the wonderful, magical childhood your grandparents were a part of creating for you! Your thoughtful approach to the things that mean the most in life continues to be an inspiration!
So sorry for your loss, Kristen, but glad you got to take a trip back to your childhood. I feel the same sense of history when I go back to the little Kansas town where my parents grew up!
There's something about those little towns!
I've read your blog for about 7 years now, but rarely comment. I had to on this post though. Reading this was such a treat. I find myself becoming increasingly nostalgic when things remind me of wonderful childhood memories. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks for your beautiful post about your (and my) happy place.
Another summer South Dakotan here. Like you, my grandparents ( both sides) lived in South Dakota and summers always meant at least a week or more in those small towns (Lake Andes & Chamberlain). The freedom we had was unprecedented, you could go anywhere in town and do whatever you wanted as long as you came home for dinner (lunch) or supper (dinner) when the whistle on the watertower blew at noon and 6 pm. It was nearly impossible to get into real trouble because everyone in town knew whose grandchild you were.
Those lovely pink roads that I saw in your photos make me smile, whenever I see pink roads I know I'm back in SD. I'm lucky because nearly 30 years ago my grandparents decided that their children and grandchildren needed to come back to SD every year for a family reunion. So we still go to Yankton each summer and spend several days with the whole family, including Grandma who will be 101 in May.
You mentioned the smells...I hear you! They aren't even necessarily "good" smells, but boy do they trigger some wonderful memories. I'm so glad that you can still visit your Grandparents' house and cherish those great summer memories.
Although the circumstances were sad, I'm glad you were able to celebrate your grandfather's life with your family and reconnect to so many wonderful memories. Thanks for sharing.
Yes! The pink roads. So South Dakota.
And thank you for sharing with us! What lovely memories you have from your childhood. Your writing took me to a magical place that I've never visited, but I felt like I knew it. Glad you are feeling better.
Beautiful photos and memories. I'm glad you got to share time with family. And welcome back!
This is really beautiful, Kristen.
I'm glad this trip brought you much comfort.
So true about having something really good, then missing it deeply.
Both my parents are gone, as well as several vety dear aunts and uncles. I was so lucky to have such special people in my life, but it sure does leave a big hole in my heart.
Thank you for sharing your memories. Hello from Sioux Falls :). Hope you're feeling like yourself very soon.
Oh! I was so close to you, then. We flew into Sioux Falls, and visited the falls before driving to my grandparents' house.
This post totally made me cry. So sorry for your loss, and so happy for your wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing your stories and photos.
Aww, I'm sorry I made you cry! But thank you for reading and caring. 🙂
This is such a lovely post, Kristen. Thank you for sharing. You are one of the brighter spots on the internet for me.
Aww, thank you for your kind words! That means a lot to me.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you were able to go and honor your family and your memories during this trip. Your beautiful depiction inspires me to go to SD and make my own memories while I still have a chance. See, my grandparent live in a little town called Watertown, SD and that is where my father and siblings grew up. My dad has told me so many stories but I have never gone because we always lived so far away ( My grandparents always came to us for visits instead). There is a lot of family history in that town and your post encouraged me to experience it first hand (beautiful pictures!!!) Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing! Looking at the pics, figured "east side" and from the comments, yep 🙂 My grandparents lived over there (east side) as well. The smells and sounds from visiting will hopefully never leave my memory.
Take care.
Dear Kristen,
This was a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it. I have been a reader of your blog for many years now. As others have mentioned, you should consider writing a novel or better yet a children's book. You are such a wonderful writer!
Thank you for always challenging me to do better in my life. I am so grateful to have found your blog!
Aww, thank you for your encouragement! I really appreciate that.