Come see my $5 "scuffed" furniture
So.
The other day I was scrolling Facebook Marketplace, and I came across a furniture listing that caught my eye.
The top of this thing looked like it had been through a war and barely survived.
I scrolled down to see what the description said, and I chuckled because it said, "The top is scuffed."
If I was texting with you right now, I'd totally be sending the laughing-with-tears-coming-out-of-my-eyes emoji.
SCUFFED??
More like "almost completely demolished".
It looks so burnt on the top, and in my world, "burnt" and "scuffed" are not the same thing. I told one of my readers that the next time I burn a grilled cheese sandwich, I'm going to say that it's scuffed.
And what's crazy is that he was wanting $5 for it. I thought he should maybe pay someone to take it off his hands!
I posted an Instagram reel about this, we all laughed, and I moved on with my weekend.
But then yesterday I was like, "Hmm. It might be kind of fun to actually buy this thing and see what I can do with it."
So, I sent him an, "Is this still available?" message.
(I was not exactly on pins and needles as I waited; I was pretty sure no one else would have already bought it. Ha.)
He said that it was still available, so yesterday afternoon I went and picked it up.
On the last screen of my Instagram Reel, I said, "I'll be really surprised if anyone pays him $5 for this thing." and PLOT TWIST, it's me that would pay him $5 for this thing.
Ahahahahha!
So, I loaded it into my van and brought it home, and now I gotta see if I can make it presentable.
I don't know if it's too far gone, but I'm going to try. And I figure that all of us will get at least $5 worth of entertainment out of this project.
Sometimes when I paint furniture, people say to me, "Ohh, but why wouldn't you just keep the lovely wood? Don't ruin it by painting it!"
But I am quite positive that no one is going to say that about me painting this thing. 😉
Remember this Philco table from the abandoned house?
I had to scrape the damaged veneer off the top, and then I was left with a decent paintable surface underneath, and I'm hoping to do the same with this scuffed end table. 😉
Here's what that Philco table looks like now.
If I manage to make this little table look anywhere near as good as that, I'll be quite impressed with myself. 😉
The Facebook seller's description said, "Very restorable", so, you know...maybe it'll be fine.
Stay tuned!
Kristen, you are so funny! Can't wait to see what you do with this table!
I doubt if you would have started on this project last semester! But as battered as this little-table-with-a-drawer looks - it looks like it has potential. I love the the handle on the drawer for instance! And there is no end of frustration you can work away while sanding. I look very much forward to seeing your final result and the in between pictures!
Enjoy your week ahead! We have frost and sun here- a lovely combo.
I’m sure you can do it! I can’t wait to see the results.
Teehee... you're such a silly goose! I hope your project is tons of fun!
Plot twist.... Bahahahaha!! So funny. Can't wait to see what you do with it!
Well, this rescued piece definitely has lots of potential for improvement! 🙂
And I'm sure you'll work miracles with it! Have fun!
We all look forward to the free entertainment you are about to provide us!!!
LOL, I can't believe you bought this! Lets see how it comes out!
The guy selling it must have had too much to drink, selling it for 5.00, almost looks like it was ready for the trash!
Good Luck!
I'm not sure I would trust the judgement of someone who called that table "a little scuffed."
Hahah, yes, I know, that's exactly why I shared that part!
No matter the end result, it will be cheap entertainment. I look forward to seeing how it goes.
What a fun project! Perhaps by "very restorable", the seller was thinking shabby chic-like restoration. I cannot wait to see what you do with this.
How fun!!! I can’t wait to see the results. It actually looks quite sturdy even if it is scuffed.
@Bee,
"scuffed".....bwahahahaha!
Look at it this way: No matter what happens, it can't look any worse than it does now! And I'm sure that under your expert hands (and your dad's if needed), it will come to look a great deal better.
That's what I figure! Nowhere but up from here.
Might sand and Fornasetti that bad boy with a lotta Mod Podge. https://www.fornasetti.com/cl/en/furniture/categories/chest-of-drawers/
I do get tired of people who get whiffy about painting "solid" wood, as if the best furniture (by the 18th century French ebenistes) ever made wasn't veneered.
@Rose, "whiffy"?? Thank you for a great new word!
Sometimes people are getting up in arms about it when the item in question is a yellowed oak finish that is unquestionably dated.
Like, ok, yes, don't paint a lovely burled piece of wood, but yellow/pink oak is a different story.
@Kristen, I'm getting ready to paint my 1920s knotty pine living room paneling. Yes, it's good quality, hand-planed on site, but I'm so SICK of it being so yellowy. Plus it's in just about every room. I'm thinking a calm gray and we'll see how that goes. I also--shock horror--painted my fieldstone fireplace because I hated it. It's white but I'm thinking a darker gray.
as far as the ebenistes were concerned, solid wood was for looohoosers. Let's get some tortoiseshell, brass, exotic wood, etc in that bad boy.
https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/202281
The quality is unmatchable today. To get work like that, you have to start with young apprentices and teach them slowly over many many years. Which of course doesn't happen today. It's always worth studying the best of the best even if it's not quite gonna fit in your 1970s splanch, heh.
(sorry if I tend to lecture, folks, but I'm always so super interested in art and antiques and I like to share what I find fascinating)
@Rose,
Well, the room with real wood paneled walls in my daughter's 1952 house turned out just lovely painted a soft, light gray for her daughter's room. It used to be a dark little den, back in it's day, and has built in shelves over cabinets on one short wall, which are now painted crisp white with aqua backgrounds. Go for it, Rose!
@Rose,
I agree. sometimes, the wood isn't in good shape, isn't that pretty.....or, you just WANT a painted color or Fornasetti design.;-)
@Rose,
I love when you share about art and antiques!
The one thing that has me thinking a little is that my several doors down neighbor, who's now moved out, was David Chase, the creator of the Sopranos. His house was very similar to mine and he had the paneling painting white, eventually sold the place, but admitted, "I really shouldn't have painted the paneling." Oh well. I will let the creator of one of the best TV shows of all time paint whatever he wants.)
You know me; I would 100% paint the paneling. Heh.
@Rose, if it’s a light gray you’re after, Silver Glamour is a FANTASTIC color that changes throughout the day. Gray, blue, lavender, silver—it’s whatever you need it to be, depending on lighting and what you have in the room. I have it in my art studio and our kitchen, which have wildly different color schemes in the furniture and cabinets, and it’s glorious in both. It’s the one color that moved with us; I loved it so much in our apartment (where I had permission to paint and used SG in three rooms) that I wanted it in our house, too. Silver Glamour is a Clark + Kensington color, should you be interested. Fair warning, it really takes seeing it on a wall to get the full depth.
I can't wait to see the result! By the way - A couple of months ago or so you did mention you were printiainting chairs and said you would present them to the readers......
Oooh, you are right! I need to take pictures of those and post them.
I’m surprised he didn’t charge extra by calling it "distressed," as a compliment!
Years ago I paid extra for a tall Shaker pantry that was beautifully distressed and is gorgeous to this day. My parents (whose gift to me it was) were less enthused. They kinda saw it as we all see your little project, for the price.
@Erika JS, lol. I was thinking that very thing! Distressed is actually a selling factor in many types of furniture. They actually have machines that "flog" brand new pieces of furniture with chains and other things to create that type of surface. All those little dents and nicks that people so love are a form of furniture torture.
Maybe this little chest was a spy in its former life that wouldn't give up information and they tortured it? Extreme Measures! Kind of looks like he gave up before he gave in.
"That's part of the patina," Tiffany's to ex-BF about a flaw in a piece of new art deco sterling flatware he bought.
"Thanks, I'll put the patina in myself, so kindly exchange it" ex-BF to Tiffany's. Heh.
As long as it's sturdy, I think you can do this. Nothing like a challenge! The top clearly needs the most work, and maybe even trimming around the edges, from what I think I can see in the picture. I take it your dad is going to be your partner in this adventure?
We'll need pictures as you go, obviously.
What did your kids say when they saw this?
Haha, well, they weren't too surprised. They're kind of used to this behavior from me by now!
Can't wait to see the makeover! And thanks for proving me right. When we used to have yard sales, my mom was always appalled at the stuff I set out. I'd say, 'hey, people will buy anything!' One of my favorites was the year I put out an old toilet seat and it was the first thing to sell. (Hope the seller wasn't too smug when he took your money. "Very restorable?" I'm sure he was patting himself on the back for that one! 😉 )
@Bobi, I sold an entire toilet at a garage sale---the woman intended to use it as a planter on her front lawn.
I love the pretty legs and the front detail. The only area I see that might be a problem is the chipped corner on top but you will figure out what to do there. I have faith in you.
I really love your furniture posts!!!!Can’t wait to see what you do with this!
@Madeline and Kristen,
I so agree: can’t wait for the pictures and to be wowed by the progress.
Also, I learn something with each of your makeovers. You should have your own show on YouTube.
Made me laugh!
The drawers and the feet have great details. Once you smooth out/sand past all that wear and tear, I think you’ll have a lovely piece on your hands.
While I love to let wood shine when that’s an option, sometimes paint is the only way. I’m actually curious to see if this piece will surprise you and be finished with a mix of stained wood and paint, like your beautiful table. I still can’t believe you rescued the moldy, warped table insert, so I’ve no doubt you can tackle this $5 challenge!
"Very restorable." I wish someone would say that about me.
@JDinNM,
You made me laugh! That's what I often think about myself
I wonder if you could find a similar piece and salvage the top to replace your "scuffed" one.
@Central Calif. Artist, or could buy a stone remnant and use that as the top. I see odd pieces of granite, marble, etc going for a song all the time. Paint the rest, add some glass dawer pulls, a marble top, and bob's your uncle. I am thinking pink somehow.
orrrrrrr what about a piece of glass cut to the same size and antiqued with that mercury glass spray paint? I bet Sonia would like either of those.
I bet he would have taken $4... (Sure wish I could insert a laughing emoji here!)
There's an option on Facebook to submit a lower offer, but I felt kind of silly bargaining down from $5. Ha.
@Kristen, Ha! Yeah, I would as well! I really can't wait to see what you do with it. 🙂
If it’s too far gone you could always replace the top with a new piece, or a piece of marble? Looking forward to seeing it all fixed up!
I was kinda hoping you would buy it and see what magic you can work!
Oh, that's funny! You know me too well.
This just made me literally laugh out loud. I CANNOT wait to see what you do with it!
Very restorable! That's hilarious.
I think you are going to work your magic and it will be beautiful. I look forward to seeing the progress you make.
Cannot wait. So fun! Except maybe for you… lol
Hope you feel better about yourself for making fun and mocking the poor guy posting. Yeesh. Tough crowd.
@Heather, ouch. I took the posting and the comments as all in good fun.
@Heather,
You must not know Kristen well. She is very kind. And nowhere was there one shred of identifying information. Also: anyone using that kind of language to sell a piece of furniture that actually been burnt up is asking to be at least gently mocked!
@Heather, hi! I think it's interesting you are doing a similar thing right now, only not as nice! I don't think the guy cares that she thought his description wasn't accurate (which it wasn't), especially since she did pay him for it. So maybe you should be sending FG $5 😉
It is okay to have joy about silly things in life! And laughing about a piece of damaged furniture certainly fits in that category <3
Good luck have you checked for woodworm!!!
Kristen! This looks a bit like my end table my dog chewed up! You and I briefly talked about via messenger. I can’t wait to see what you do with this!
I guarantee that you will make a marvelous piece that we will all admire.
I'm pretty much laughing at the seller describing it as "very restorable." But I think it will be a fun project.
Love the plot twist! 🙂 I hope you warned your dad that his whiskers might be needed shortly. Not that you're not fully capable. Ahem!
The top looks like maybe somebody really inexperienced tried to clean it up with a heat gun. That or it was momentarily chucked into a fire!
It might be easier to call into your dad's workshop to recreate a top, as the rest looks like it would respond well to some TLC.
Well no matter what, you get $5 worth of entertainment out of it. This is why Facebook Market place is so dangerous, my brain looks at listings like "hmmm, if I just sanded it and added some wood glue it would be as good as new!" completely forgetting the fact that I have a perfectly functional dresser that I have already refinished/painted twice (the poor thing as been through a lot). That being said I have 23 dining chair listings saved as we speak so.......
I can't wait to watch this project unfold!
If you're interested in a slight investment of money as well as time, you could get a small remnant of marble and replace the top entirely. Whether you just refinish the wood or paint it, that would be a lovely side table or nightstand.
I laughed so hard at your post on Instagram about this and laughed again when I saw you bought it! Plot twist indeed! I love to see what you do with things other people would throw away so I can't wait to see what you can do with this.
You just know he is telling everyone he knows "hey-I got 5 bucks for that table you told me to toss!"
Lolololol. It reminds of the time my husband borrowed my van and told me that he scratched it. OK, no big deal, a scratch. Ummm, no. The whole side was dented and a large swath of paint removed. Looked like he scraped up against a pole in a parking garage. Luckily I can laugh about this now.
Hahah, yes, that sounds like a scratch in the same way that this end table is scuffed. 😉
I agree with other commenters that the body of this piece has potential. Another suggestion for the top might be resin. You could make a whole new top, or cut off the broken edges of this one, cut a wavy line through the middle and make a river of resin to widen it again.
I’m looking forward to following along on this fun project!
If the seller's definition of "RESTORABLE" is as close to reality as their definition of "SCUFFED" you're in for the project of your life. I think you should have haggled over the price. I can't wait to see the outcome.
What would really be amazing is if you renovated this table and resold it at a huge profit (and tagged the seller when you posted it). Ha!
With your miracle worker Dad’s help, I’m sure it will be beautiful when you’re done.
I never thought to compare wood furniture to bread before, but as you often do, Kristen, you have opened my eyes! This piece of furniture reminds me of things I saw in my grandfather's dirt floored garage and his chicken coop in the 1970's. There are little peeks into beautiful wood underneath, but you have to ignore 90% of what you see on the surface. Can't wait to see what it looks like after a good bit of work and determination.
I know you will turn the table into a gem. Can‘t wait to see the finished table.
I can't wait to see what you do with this! What kind of furniture is it? I can't tell from the picture.
It's a small end table!
I really believe that this renovation will be your best friend soon!
Feeling positive!
Can this be a series? Because I was HOPING you would buy this piece. I sometimes go and get free pieces or super cheap ones and flip them. I have a couple big pieces I got for free or super cheap that I'm working on now...and they aren't pretty ;p I cannot wait to see what you do with this!
Can we each venmo you 10 cents to help cover the costs? ;p
Oh yeah, some Venmo donations would REALLY ease the pain of this $5 purchase. lol
A) you didn’t ask him what happened to it?, and
B) wait, is anything left in the drawers?!
Well, apparently a neighbor had given it to him, so he didn't know the history.
And the drawers are empty!
Im super excited to see what you do with it. I have confidence in you that it will be spectacular! Maybe even a new wood or tiled top. I've been wanting to try a butcher block top on something.
I don’t like painted wood. I can only hope I’m whiffy and up in arms.
Come back when I post the "After" of this piece, and then you can definitely be whiffy. 😉
As my Daddy says…..That’s no hill for a stepper!
100% love that you bought this - I, too, can't wait to see how it turns out!
It does look a bit horrid, but it also looks as though it might have good bones, in terms of basic quality underneath all that abuse and neglect. You've done such an amazing job on so many pieces of furniture that I look forward to seeing the transformation!
"Very restorable" LOL I'd hate to see something that was kinda restorable. I'm here for this table restoration.
Love this! I can’t wait to see what you do with it!!
Good thing there is a new outlet in the carport!
OMG you've got your work cut out for you on this one! "Scuffed" . . . hahaha sure. Can't wait to see the transformation!
Hahaha—love your humor! It does appear to have potential and I have no doubt you will have it looking fabulous.
Hahaha! I thought I was the only one who bought the weird stuff on FB! Good luck with this piece, I know you can make it work. Some of my favorite pieces of furniture were ugly ducklings that became swans with much sanding and lots of paint, and the sense of accomplishment is incomparable. Looking forward to the big reveal.
I'm so excited to see what you do with this piece of art! 😉
This has real "Taylor Swift" vibes all over it. You need to make a follow up reel using "It's me. Hi. I'm the problem..." With video of the table and your comment: “I’ll be really surprised if anyone pays him $5 for this thing.” PLOT TWIST, it’s me that would pay him $5 for this thing."
So true!
scuffed ?? reallly laughed out loud! Have fun with it!
Start a new trend! How about leave it as is and pour clear epoxy on the top? You have to figure an edge so it won't drip and level off.
Can't wait to see what you do with it. I just said no to something similar. I know I could have made it nice, but.....I don't have time for that right now!