A Productivity Addendum
I know I said I was done with the series, but as I predicted, I have a few more thoughts to share.
Mostly, I want to make some clarifications, because it was obvious from the comments on last week's post (Don't Waste Your Leisure) that I was unclear on a few things, and managed to give you a completely wrong idea about how I feel regarding "me" time, and TV, and some other stuff.
Whoops.
So, this will be sort of like a productivity version of the miscellany posts I do. Ready?
Do we have to think about leisure?
One reader wondered if trying to not waste leisure time sort of defeated the whole purpose ("Isn't leisure time about not thinking, and just relaxing?", she wondered.)
I don't think that thinking about this defeats the point, obviously (or I wouldn't have written the post!).
I think the point of leisure is to be refreshed, and I know when I "waste" my leisure time, I am not nearly as refreshed as I am when I engage in leisure activities that are not a waste of time for me.
When I spend two hours aimlessly surfing around on the web, I don't feel particularly refreshed afterwards. When I spend two hours scrapbooking, playing games with my family, sledding with my family, or doing some other such activity, I DO feel refreshed.
So, the point is not so much usefulness and productiveness as it is refreshment. Leisure that is truly refreshing will leave us more ready to face our work than we were without it.
And because of that, we do ourselves (and other people in our lives!) a disservice if we waste our leisure time.
TV, TV
One reader pointed out that there is some good stuff on TV, and I totally agree with that. Mr. FG and Joshua enjoy watching hockey games together, my kids enjoy MythBusters episodes, and they also enjoy IMAX and National Geographic shows.
Care needs to be exercised with TV, though...it's designed to suck you in and keep you in your spot on the couch (that's why they roll out the first part of the next show on the heels of the previous one!), and because of that, it's really, really easy to watch more of it than is good for us.
So, don't necessarily write TV-watching out of your leisure time, but do give some thought to how much you're watching and what you're watching.
Varied Leisure
One of the points I made that a few people seemed to miss is that good and bad leisure activities will vary from person to person. One person might be refreshed by spending a few hours doing garden work. Another (like, um, me) wouldn't find that refreshing at all! One person might feel fabulous after spending an hour flipping channels, whereas I just do not find that to be refreshing.
So, don't get stuck on the particulars of what constitutes wasted or valuable leisure time for me. The point is that you should make sure that you are spending your leisure time in ways that refresh you.
Me time
A number of people seemed to get the impression that I am opposed to what we tend to call "me" time, and that's definitely not true. As I shared in my sleep post, leisure and rest are necessary for productivity because a properly rested person will be better equipped to be productive than a person who has been run ragged. And sometimes, it's good to have leisure time alone.
In order to keep myself in optimum shape for serving God and taking care of my family, I need to be responsible and take care of myself too. This is why I go to bed on time, why I try to eat properly, and why I joined the gym.
And it's also why I make time to do things that are fun and relaxing to me. Each morning after Mr. FG goes to work, I have a couple of hours all by myself...I shower, read my Bible, pray, read blogs, and read email all in complete peace and quiet. I also go to the gym all by myself 3 times a week. And though I'm not by myself when I take pictures, photography is definitely a fun hobby for me, and I derive great joy from it. Also, now that the kids are older and the days of nursing babies are gone, I often get to go out and run errands by myself, which is delightful.
Along those same lines, in my post I was not saying that women and mothers need to solely identify as wives and mothers. Being a wife and a mother is exceedingly important to me, but I don't at all feel like that is the sum of who I am. I'm also a photographer, a pianist, a piano teacher, an optimist, a scrapbooker, a blogger (duh!), a baker, a friend, and a sister, among other things.
And all of THAT falls under my top identity, which is that I am a child of God, loved unconditionally because of what Jesus did for me on the cross.
All of that stuff is are part of who I am, and it colors, enhances and infuses my mothering and wifing with a flavor that is uniquely me.
_________________________
Okee-doke! I hope that cleared up any misunderstandings about last week's post. Of course, if it didn't, you should leave me a comment, and I'll do my best to respond.
Today's 365 post: Blog Post Planning (the low-tech way)
I could use a little forethought into some of my leisure time! I don't have much of it and don't want to waste it. Thanks for the posts.
I do agree that some T.V. is good though. My kids love Curious George, and I love them watching it.
Well said! There's tons of stuff that can aimlessly waste our time without leaving us refreshed. And yes, we moms need our "me" time, even if our babies are not babies anymore. Thank you for putting on a great blog and letting your light shine! (I just discovered it last week and have enjoyed it immensely)
I am a new reader and, although I am not Christian, find your blog very inspiring and a joy to read! It was very sweet of you to clarify some of the points, but I do think in your first posting you were very clear that these were YOUR thoughts, not judgements on others. Keep up the amazing work, love your blog!
oh..and winter wipeout! 🙂 What can I say, we all have our quirks.
For what it's worth, I never got ANY of that stuff out of your last post - it just seemed like your normal "hey, this is what works for me!" style that I love so much.
Anyhow, I guess a little clarity never hurt anyone, but just wanted to let you know that to me, at least, the point was never muddy to begin with. 🙂
Ok, good! It just seemed from the comments that some readers had missed or misunderstood some of my points, and I figured if a couple had done that and commented, there were probably others out there who had too!
I think it is also good to note that what our souls need as "leisure" can vary from day to day---sometimes I *need* to go to a vigorous yoga class, sometimes nothing but lazily flipping channels or surfing the 'net will do.
love it! i agree -- whatever leaves you refreshed is working!!! i know people in my family tend to shake their heads that going on a long run is my idea of me time... but frankly if i can get a hour without wiping a nose or a butt that isn't attached to my body, it's a mini-vacation in my book!
I totally agree with you about how doing something special during free time can leave you feeling much better than doing nothing, or mind numbing activity. I 100% agree with you about TV. We don't just veg out in front of ours. I have movie nights, and am fine to have it on children's shows on PBS now and then. However, I do see it as a time zapper, and something that can keep family's apart and hinder communication, therefore as the mom, I limit what we watch. It can also bring in values that I personally do not want to pass to my children, and that is the #1 reason that my family does not watch very much TV. Thank you so much for your beautiful blog, it truly enriches my life. Juli
I totally agree with you about how doing something special during free time can leave you feeling much better than doing nothing, or mind numbing activity. I 100% agree with you about TV. We don't just veg out in front of ours. I have movie nights, and am fine to have it on children's shows on PBS now and then. However, I do see it as a time zapper, and something that can keep family's apart and hinder communication, therefore as the mom, I limit what we watch. It can also bring in values that I personally do not want to pass to my children, and that is the #1 reason that my family does not watch very much TV. Thank you so much for your beautiful blog, it truly enriches my life. Juli
Important post! I agree completely about leisure and "me" time, as well as your thoughts on TV. You've got one life (well, so far as we know for certain, I suppose--could be more!), and it needs balance.
Nice post. I think what is considered 'leisure' is very different for each person. Some people enjoy going to sporting events... for me, that would be super stressful! I enjoy noodling around on the computer and learning new things, reading about people's lives, etc... others would call that a waste of time. But I always find it interesting to know how others like spending their down time. It just goes to show how different everyone is.
i never really thought about it that way, but it is so true! if i find myself with free time and flip on the tv then get pulled in for hours watching random shows, i just feel more drained. however, if i snuggle up on the couch to watch a marathon of a fav show it feels like such a treat. i need to be more mindful of that and make the effort to choose more enjoyable activities for my free time (reading, workouts, baking).
I appreciate all you have written about leisure time. It has made me think. One thing I have thought through are the boundaries of leisure. For me, my idyllic vision of leisure is being propped up under a shade tree on a balmy day with a glass of lemonade at my side and a good book in my hand. But when does leisure turn into laziness? That is a question that can be answered only by each person. For me, reading that book and sipping lemonade on that balmy day turns from leisure to laziness when I become bored with the book or I am neglecting a responsibility. Leisure has lost its purpose; I'm outside the boundaries.
Regarding TV: Television is an amusement. The word amusement comes from the word "muse - to think." Putting the letter "a" in front of a word means "to turn away from", or (as in amusement), "turning away from thinking." Whenever I find myself "turning away from thinking" by watching TV, the time has come to turn the TV off.
Thanks again for this series. It has made me "muse".
My husband and I have been making joint and alone, free time a more conscious event since we had our little one. Even though we feel unbelievably blessed to have the little one, we didn't want to "wake-up" when she was five and realize that we didn't know ourselves and each other anymore.
Our back-up plan, if all else fails, is that we now have certain tangents of tv shows that we just watch together (right now we're on a big Anthony Bourdain "No reservations" kick) so that even if we are completely bagged we still are doing something together. It's not perfect but it's something.
I agree! My hubby and I have a 4 week old, and we are truly blessed to have him! But, if we can run out for a coffee together or whatever, that's important too. We don't want to lose sight of each other. My ultimate alone time is grocery shopping. Yes, grocery shopping. I'm a huge couponer, so that's like therapy for me. Most people hate grocery shopping, but I love it! Whatever gets me out of the house for a few to refresh me and restore sanity works!
Still agree. I haven't done that much better this week, though. When you start feeling guilty about how you spend your leisure time - that's not productive either!
I wonder if maybe people were feeling convicted about managing their leisure time! I thought your first post was pretty clear about how this is what works for you to feel refreshed and ready to face the "must do" list when you do things you like to do.
I know for a long time after I finished college, my leisure time would sometimes devolve into mindlessly watching hours of TV, since I didn't have the same time demands that I did in school. Instead of having to work to squeeze in things like ballroom dancing, singing with a fellowship group, hanging out with friends, and tutoring, I had a LOT more free time that had to be filled. No studying, no homework, and since I was living alone, I only had to cook once or twice a week, since leftovers would feed me the rest of the week.
Switching from that mindset of an overabundance of free time to my life now with a husband, child, and house/yard to care for was quite an adjustment!
I've pretty much given up on television. Commercials and horrid content drive me away.
I can get by just fine with my film collection. I like to pretend it makes me more cultured that I'm watching classic and well regarded films (although it just makes me more of a snob I suppose.) =P
Young mothers might find that their idea of leisure changes when they move on to another stage of life. As a young mother I ached for a little a little alone time with three close together kids to manage. If someone offered to watch a baby I was in heaven. Now, I'm a grandma and my version of heaven is rocking that little angel to sleep. I can't get enough!
Yes! I notice even now that I enjoy having a baby around since my "baby" is almost 5!
Never commented before here. Totally got what you meant the first time and loved your addendum. I find that when I have appropriate "me" time it helps me be a more interesting, fun, creative person to my husband and kids. Otherwise, I'm this ugly black hole that sucks the life out of any one who gets near me!
Oh, yay! I love it when people de-lurk. Hope you make yourself comfy and join us here in the future. 🙂
My mental summary of these two posts is: Don't fritter away your leisure time; do something that makes you feel better, whatever that something may be.
Great post! Its so true that sometimes spending leisure time wastefully leaves you with a " I didn't even have fun " feeling!
-Hannah
Great post! "Me" time was a hard lesson for me to learn, until I realized I can not fill anyone else's "glass" if mine is completely empty. I think this week's and last week's post were both well written and pertinent!
i NEED to put this to work in my life.
So true we all must make time for Me time or we will go whacko!!!
How much of a problem is it that most of my "wasted" leisure time is spent perusing your blog? Haha I blame the additional links at the bottom. 😉
Can we really call that wasted time? I dunno....
😉
I think your previous post was very clear - you were very careful to state what works for YOU. You are always so careful to consider the feelings of your readers. I really enjoy reading your blog everyday and following you on facebook
Not so much a comment on this post as a possible future Q&A or post topic for you...
Do you have any frugality/productivity tips for life with an infant? We just had our first child 6 weeks ago and, though I feel like I'm doing pretty well overall, once in a while I feel overwhelmed trying to save money or get anything done around the house. And I don't have three others to care for/teach/etc. like you did when Zoe was born!
I am a new mom, well my son is now 1, but it took me quite awhile to realize that "ME" time is important. I work full time, while daddy stays at home with the little one. For awhile after I would rush home too be with my son and give daddy a break.
So now occasionally I will stop at the tap room and have a couple beers and watch Buffy on my Kindle fire. Ridding the bus also gives me time every day to read.
Reading on the bus sounds WONderful!