A Day in My Life | a 2023 edition!
On Monday of this week, a reader told me she'd always enjoyed my Day in the Life posts, and she wondered if I'd be willing to do one now, since my life looks so, so different than it did all those years ago.
There's never a perfect day to do this, so I decided, hey, why not do it right away? So yesterday I made a point of documenting what I did.
Come experience a day with me!
6:00
I woke up (no alarm. I just do not sleep late. Like, ever.), did some scrolling on my phone*, played my Wordle game and sent it to my mom, and then rolled out of bed and put on walking clothes.
*I know that's not something you will ever find on How to Have a Productive Morning lists, but I'm here to be more real than inspirational. Ha.
6:30
I went walking, this time just on the trails near my house.
It took me about 45 minutes to walk two miles, which is definitely slower than the rate I walk on pavement. But I have noticed that trail walking is just never as fast!
Also, on trails, I am forever stopping to take pictures so that slows me down too.
This is especially true on mornings when the sunlight is really beautiful or there are lovely raindrops on all the leaves.
This was one of those latter days!
Also, I always stop to sniff the honeysuckle flowers.
I listened to podcasts while I walked, as I always do.
And I listened to them at 2x speed, as I always do. Podcasts are just too slow for me otherwise.
7:00-7:30
I finished walking, came home, and had a brief chat with Lisey before she left to pick up some FAA paperwork.
I unloaded the dishwasher, brought an Amazon package inside, and made my bed.
7:30-8:00
I did some kettlebell and dumbbell exercises.
In between sets I:
- shared the day's blog post on my Facebook page and in my Facebook group
- sent the day's blog post out to my email subscribers
- peeled some wrinkly potatoes (I found them when I was putting some dishes away while unloading the dishwasher) and started them boiling
- started a pot of cornmeal mush because I knew I was making a breakfast-for-dinner meal
8:00-8:30
I showered.
And to be real, in case this helps someone else not feel alone: while I was in the shower, the menu-planning-related bad memory came up again and I was filled with blinding rage over it.
The blinding rage is frequently a necessary step for me: to look at something with new eyes and understand the injustice, to be angry about it, and to cry angry tears, followed by sad tears. Then I can often release it.
I squeegeed my shower (really cuts down on the necessity for shower-wall-scrubbing!) got dressed, did my (minimal) makeup, and blow-dried my bangs (because otherwise they really have a mind of their own).
8:30-9:00
I transferred the finished cornmeal mush to a loaf pan.
And then for breakfast, I drained and mashed the potatoes, fried up two eggs, and made a mashed potato bowl, topped with green onions.
On the side, I had some salad greens dressed with a sweet vinaigrette. I've been on a greens-for-breakfast kick of late, as long as they have the right dressing.
I am not ready for ranch dressing at 9:00 am (!!!), but I can do a slightly sweet vinaigrette.
9:00-9:30
I ate my breakfast and typed up my day so far. I shared a few photos to my Instagram story too and read some blog comments.
9:30-10:00
Lisey came back home with her official certificate from the FAA. She's all signed off and ready to go work on planes. Yay!
I chatted with her and also:
- made a cup of coffee
- washed some dishes
- got some bacon out from the freezer for dinner
- started a load of laundry
- responded to a bunch of blog comments
10:00-12:00
I put my shoes on and went out to run some errands.
But when I opened up my van, I noticed that my low tire pressure light was on.
So I grabbed my tire pump and fixed that. I checked all four tires, but just one tire was low, and it was only slightly low.
I will keep an eye on it and see if it keeps losing air faster than the others.
By the way, I love this Slime brand tire pump! The girls and I all have one for our cars, and I give them a 10/10. So easy to use!
And I love that the pump is designed to keep the cords corralled in between uses.
Anyway, I did finally get on the road, and my first stop was at the college to drop off some forms and tax returns they needed from me.
Then I went to the mall to drop off Lisey's old phones to be recycled at the Apple store.
They were super old ones that she found while she was cleaning out to prep for Hawaii!
Next, I went to a Hispanic food store to get some ingredients for a Cook's Country recipe that's on my menu plan (Sopa Seca, a noodle dish).
12:00-12:30
I stopped back in at home, put my groceries away, switched some laundry, said bye to Zoe as she left for a class, and printed a birthday coupon.
12:30-2:00
I headed back out, got gas at BJ's, then ordered a chipotle bacon flatbread at a local restaurant, using my $10 birthday coupon.
While it was cooking, I wandered around at Goodwill next door.
Then I ate my flatbread in my van (the coupon was only good for takeout!) and did DuoLingo on my phone while I ate.
Next, I picked up a few things at Aldi. I discovered this particular Aldi has a self-checkout, which was wild to see!
Then I headed back home and put away my Aldi groceries.
2:00-3:00
Lisey came back home from some errands so I talked to her and also helped her with some of her paperwork for onboarding with the new company.
I started a batch of this cinnamon bread because I wanted to give a loaf to my neighbor Donna, who has been faithfully helping Lisey with car repairs this week.
3:00-3:30
I spent twenty minutes updating this post with all my errands!
Then I responded to blog comments.
3:30-4:00
I switched my laundry again.
Next, I shaped my bread dough into cinnamon loaves, covered them to let them rise, and cleaned up the whole bread-making mess.
Then I poured my new package of chia seeds into a glass jar; I do this because I am way more likely to actually use my chia seeds this way. Using them in the bag is kind of annoying and I'm prone to spilling them.
The jar makes it super easy to grab some to sprinkle on yogurt or oatmeal. And it looks nicer than having a plastic bag of chia seeds on the counter.
I also made a batch of chia seed drinks, using some juice from Aldi.
4:00-5:00
Ooh, I can tell I am reaching a not-as-productive stage of my day. What did I do with this hour?
I texted with a friend. I folded two loads of laundry and put them away, while listening to a podcast.
5:00-6:00
Mostly, I worked on this blog post; choosing and uploading pictures takes a while!
6:00-7:00
I cooked dinner and ate with the girls. 🙂
7:00-8:00
I brought a loaf of bread over to my neighbor Donna and chatted with her for a while.
Then I came home and cleaned up my kitchen.
And ooh, I am seriously running out of steam.
Normally on Tuesday nights, I have yoga class with Sonia, but she cancelled because she wasn't feeling well. And maybe that's a good thing for me because I am feeling pretty pooped.
8:00-9:00
I finished up this post, and then since my brain felt so tired, I worked on a sign that I am painting for the children's museum where I do a little bit of volunteer work.
It's a pretty mindless task, which is exactly the kind of thing I'm up for at 8:30 pm. 😉
This is the second one I'm doing...here's the first one, and the truck is Sonia's handiwork.
9:00-?
I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and hopped into bed to do some Duolingo practice and a little reading before I sleep.
My body is tired and my brain is tired too. My step tracker watch says I've logged almost five miles today, so I'm pretty happy about that!
_________________
As I reflect back over this day, I am reminded of what Laura Vanderkam says...that there are no, "normal days" or "normal weeks".
This day was more full of errands than usual, for example.
I didn't do yoga like I usually do.
I don't always bake bread for a neighbor.
I don't always have birthday freebies to use.
But if I chose to track tomorrow, there would be odd things about that day too; my days right now vary greatly from one to another!
And my days right now look so different than my days will in six months; two big changes are that I'll be in nursing school then, and Lisey will be in Hawaii.
Soooo, maybe I should do another one of these posts six months down the road. 🙂
I really liked to read about your day and liked discovering that you are also on DuoLingo. I started Spanish just under a year ago and while I have a hard time getting to grips with some verb conjugations I am reminded what the app says about progress being more important than perfection 🙂
Anger is a difficult emotion to me. My siblings and I find it hard to be "productively" angry and are no good at picking fights, we think this due to being admonished as kids to keep quite and not upset my dad who had a heart condition. But it is so important to recognize anger as a valid emotion and not let it turn into passive agressive behaviour to other people, or into something that gnaws into your own emotions when you are rightly indignant about something injust. Living is learning.
Thank you for showing us your trail in pictures!
Yes. It's the indignance about injustice.
Sometimes, I need to look at a past situation, realize the gravity of the injustice, and feel the anger that comes with recognizing that fact. For me, it's a necessary step in processing; a step toward letting the memory go in a healthy way.
My therapist says the important thing in maintaining mental health around these memories is not to get stuck. And for me, if I just let the anger be what it needs to be in that moment, it usually does move on through, and I don't stay angry for a long time.
I am not generally an angry person, so this has been a strange experience for me, to process through all these memories and to feel so angry. But I trust that it is a necessary part of healing.
And I know if I try to push the anger down or to the side, THAT is probably what will get me stuck!
@Kristen, did you realize the gravity of the injustice when it happened, even if only a little bit?
Hmm. I would say that I felt unhappy at the time, but I really just defaulted to the idea that it was my fault, that if I could just somehow figure out how to try harder and get it right, then things would be ok.
So, no, I really don't think I grasped the injustice aspect of it at the time. If I'd understood that, I would probably have been less compliant.
On the other hand, there's so much in Christendom about suffering for righteousness's sake, and turning the other cheek, and going the extra mile...maybe I would still have been compliant. I don't know.
The main thing that would be different if I knew then what I know now: I would have left much, much sooner. You cannot fix dysfunction by trying to function harder or trying to function differently.
@Kaitlin, this is meant as a response to Kristen's reply to your comment:
“On the other hand, there’s so much in Christendom about suffering for righteousness’s sake, and turning the other cheek, and going the extra mile…maybe I would still have been compliant. I don’t know.
“The main thing that would be different if I knew then what I know now: I would have left much, much sooner. You cannot fix dysfunction by trying to function harder or trying to function differently.”
Maybe a necessary first step (for society as a whole) is to stop letting men make all the rules – in religion, in politics, in economics, in healthcare, in communities, in families – because it sometimes (often) seems that recommending “suffering for righteousness’s sake” is really recommending women's suffering for men’s sake, at women’s expense.
Just a thought …
@JDinNM, amen sister. Thank you for saying that.
@JDinNM,
Yes yes and yes. Experienced this and witnessed this my entire 7 decade life.
@JDinNM, 100%
@JDinNM: Yowza.
@JDinNM, My gears have been turning with this very same thought lately. What's considered "right" is often just making things convenient for others, even when it's not best for all. So I'm with you 100% in your comment!
@CrunchyCake, Almost every issue boils down to: Who gets to decide what for whom, and why is that?
@JDinNM, YES!!!
@JDinNM, Absolutely. Generally it seems it's old white men.
@JDinNM, sounds like old fashioned misandry if you ask me.
@JDinNM,
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Men made the rules and find exceptions to the rules when they benefit. Women need to stop complying.
@Battra92, Not at all. I like men in general. And have loved quite a few in particular. But men need to accept and understand that when women suffer, men suffer too (although they may not comprehend that). And one man's definition of "old fashioned misandry" is one woman's definition of "no one is free until everyone is free."
@JDinNM, Battra 92 says "old fashioned misandry", I say eternal and perpetual misogyny. Let's call the whole thing off!
@JDinNM, I just can't get on board with bashing men. It's not productive. While others might disagree, I don't even think it is particularly accurate. We're all people living in a less-than-perfect world. We all make mistakes. We all need to work on connecting better with each other, improving communication, learning, growing, healing, forgiving, etc. Blaming about half of the world's population for all the injustice doesn't work unless you also credit the same half for all the good that has come about from them making all the rules, too. It just doesn't make sense.
And for what it's worth, I'm tired of the bashing of Christianity, too, that often shows up in comments. I am a Christian, but I don't bash anybody else for their (different) faith/lack of faith. Kristen is also very careful not to disparage beliefs other than her own.
We can have diverse viewpoints and benefit from learning (especially frugality) from people who lead different lives. But alienating others isn't productive.
I'm sorry if you've suffered at the hands of men or Christianity. I'm sorry for all those who have. But playing the blame game for all the world's ills doesn't fix anything.
For the record, my thought on this topic is that I am not here for misandry OR misogyny. I'm not here for patriarchy OR matriarchy.
I AM here for equality.
And it is historically true that men have held more power than women, so oftentimes, in order to move toward equality, that means we need to move toward women gaining more power and more rights than they've had before. This is not me saying that men suck; it's me saying that good men and good women will both work towards equality.
And it's also not me having a victim mindset; I'm just saying, "Hey, there's a problem here, and we should fix it."
As a random example, consider that until 1974, women were not allowed to get a mortgage on their own. That's so unjust! And it's most definitely not equality. I'm glad that has been rectified, but I am rather horrified that it didn't even happen until four years before I was born. That's wild.
@Jody S., I'm sorry that you feel standing up for women means "bashing" men. And no, I haven't suffered at the hands of men or religion, but have certainly witnessed others' suffering.
@Jody S., Amen! The sad thing is that I suspect that @JDinNM 100% believes what she's saying even when she's just parroting a viewpoint that's sold to young women to make them believe that nothing is in their control and to further divide people.
I think it's a little audacious to assume you know that JD is parroting a viewpoint; one can easily say that about anyone who has an opposing viewpoint from yours.
@JDinNM, But haven't you also witness others' suffering at the hands of women, non-religious people, and even nature?
@Battra92, I grew up surrounded by women who got together and gossiped and complained/made fun of men. But more of a "can't live with them--can't live without them" kind of mindset. That was my norm.
Then I went away to college. That was a mixed bag of viewpoints. Certainly most of them took for granted that men were the root of all of societal problems. I was swayed a bit in that direction.
Now I'm surrounded by women and men who see intrinsic value in each other. I can't fix the world's ills, but I'm fairly certain throwing stones won't help. Adopting a mindset of victimization doesn't empower people.
@Jody S.,
I agree! I read faithfully but rarely comment and have noticed more of the bashing of men and Christianity. I hope this is not the direction this blog will continue to go. That will be up to Kristen.
@Jody S.,
I wish there was a like button! Again I agree and experienced the same things. I was raised hearing not to depend on a man from women in my family for various reasons.
As a Christian, God wants us to fall on him. We do live in a fallen world that is unfair and unjust. It will never be perfect and neither will we. That’s why we need a relationship with the Lord to help us through and teach us His ways.
Just because a man is abusive (physical, emotionally or verbally) doesn’t mean all men are. Just because a woman is an adulterer doesn’t mean all women are not faithful. Just because some parents neglect and abuse their children doesn’t mean we all do.
Everyone has experienced some injustice in this world (some more so than others) but how we respond speaks volumes about our character and faith.
You had salad for breakfast,
'cuz antioxidants protect us!
(That's our morning salad song.)
@Becca, your morning salad song is SO awesome. I first had a salad for breakfast the first time I visited Japan - it seemed so weird at first but then it felt so good to start my day off right!
Thank you for sharing with us, Kristen 🙂 And thank you for the awesome tire pump rec, I've been looking for one and have been a bit overwhelmed by the options. And the price is amazing! (Although $17.99 US = $24.51 CAD with current conversion, but this unit is $46.99 on Canadian Amazon. Sigh. I've flagged it for a sale 🙂 Such is the way of the north LOL
I guess vanilla in a mug is just milk? ????
I’d love to hear from Lisey about her finances in Hawaii. I always hear it’s very expensive and homes are hard to find. So I was surprised she was heading there. But then again, I’ve only hear this generally , not any specific person.
@Johnson AnnMarie,
I was wondering if Lisey was going to ship her car over.
@Johnson AnnMarie, @Kristen I would read a blog that Lisey writes if she would do one! She seems so fun and great.
She IS really fun. I can confirm this. 😉
It’s fun to see other people’s days!
I’m a touch envious of how much time you had in the morning to walk and lift and make a nutritious breakfast, but I also recognize that you don’t have small kids needing help with most things anymore. One day, too, I might get time to take for myself too!
Yep, this is a massively different situation than the way my life was when I had four young kids!
And yes, one day things will be different for you too. Hang in there.
I vote for another one in six months! I really enjoy reading these posts. Also, I too encountered a self checkout Aldi while in Florida and I was absolutely stunned!
I love these kinds of posts! Also that was so interesting to note that the omega's in Chia seeds are not well absorbed by humans. Sometimes that's why I eat them because the omega's are good but I guess like you I will have to stick to the salmon or supplements.
Thanks for doing this, Kristen, and for your usual honesty and transparency. Comments, in the order you mention things:
(1) Congratulations on getting yesterday's Wordle in only four tries. I went down to the wire with six--but then I only took up Wordle recently. (I've been playing the NYT's Tiles and Spelling Bee for several years now--but only till the NYT kicks me off each day. I'm too cheap to pony up extra for a Games subscription, and I probably wouldn't do anything else all day if I had one!)
(2) I'm sorry that the hard memory is still hard. But I too believe that the only way out of such things is through them as you describe, and I hope you work your way through this one (and the others) soon.
(3) Congratulations to Lisey on being FAA-legal!
(4) Finally, thanks for the recommendation on the tire pump. I used your link to put one into my Amazon cart. (My monthly points should come in tomorrow.)
Ohh, that's fun that you play Wordle too! I most often get it in four tries, but occasionally I am down to the wire as well. And if I get it in two or three, that is a very good day indeed.
I also really loved how you share about processing your feelings of anger and frustration. That is so important and so important to share! That resonated with me.
Self checkouts at Aldi in upstate NY, they literally put them in overnight!
@Cindy, yup, here too. We have 7. Makes aldi runs even faster than they were.
Well, my Tuesday had nothing in common with yours, except that I also made mashed potatoes. For dinner, though, not breakfast. 🙂
@kristin @ going country, Oh, and thanks to all for your home spa recommendations! I posted all about it today on my blog. It was very fun.
@kristin @ going country, What a fun day! And "Poppy" is a charming name.
@Heidi Louise, Not her real name, but her real name is charming, too. 🙂
Hi, Kristen! What podcasts are you currently listening to on your morning walks? Thanks
Thanks for sharing your day.
The Aldi closest to our house added self check recently. It makes me more likely to go there as I don't like waiting in line. A friend confirmed they added self check at another Aldi in the area as well.
I too keep my chia seeds in a jar. It is a small repurposed jam jar that I store in the refrigerator.
The tire inflator is brilliant. On a trip in March the low tire pressure light came on in my vehicle. We were 300 miles from home so stopped at a gas station for air. Not only did we have to pay for air (I'm okay with that) but the inflator was a pain to use. I now have a pressure gauge in my glove box but will look into the Slime product.
This inflator is SO easy to use! You just screw it onto the valve stem and you get a pressure reading right away; it's even easier than a tire pressure gauge.
@Kristen, I put it on my Wish List. I'm trying to wean myself off of Amazon but ... every once in a while, I see something nifty! Thanks!
Really enjoyed this, Kristen ☺️
I hopped onto Amazon right away and ordered that compressor, as I have been thinking that I better get one for my truck (I know the car has one in the trunk). Being single has made me want to be more self sufficient! I just bought more chia seeds yesterday, but I store them in a Tupperware-like thingy near my overnight oats supplies in the pantry. I am on a mission to clean stream all of the counters and surfaces in my house lately. Now that I have started my new shift, I have four days off a week, and my walking program can become part of my days off. Bonus: I will get back in touch with my neighbors and all the goings on.
Ooh, four days off is awesome! Yay for you!!
Self check outs at Aldis in NC. I walked in and stopped, wondering what is different.
Used the woman to check out since she was available because everyone was at self check outs. I think there was 4.
I love Aldis so much.
@karen, I understand the economics of self-checkout from the grocery store's perspective, but I miss the human interactions so always look around to see if there's an actual person at one of the registers. And my Sprouts just went to ALL self check outs early in the mornings but, sadly, that's when a lot of the most senior of the senior shoppers are in the store, and it's kind of a car crash as the one supervising employee dashes from one check out to another trying to help everyone navigate the system. Efficiency isn't always so ... efficient.
@JDinNM, And as all the grocery stores move to self-checkout, what's happened to the high school kids who used to work after school bagging the groceries?
@JDinNM, Not to even mention the adult cashiers ...
@JDinNM, And it's not as if the store pays us for checking and bagging our own groceries, or even reduces their prices (hah! as if!) to compensate us for our time and effort.
@JDinNM, And the rich get richer ...
@JDinNM, There are still baggers at some of our self-checkouts at Kroger. There are some "small" self-checkouts, and some larger ones with conveyer belts for larger orders (I quite frankly love those). Often my husband, who takes one of our sons with him to do the shopping, will find there's a bagger standing awkwardly down by the bagging area. He will kindly tell the bagger that they'll bag their own groceries, thanks. But I'm sure other shoppers take advantage of the bagging assistance!
@Karen A., I'm just worried about all of the people who are falling by the wayside ... or being pushed to the wayside. Or abandoned on the wayside. I'm not suggesting we go back to the days of elevator operators waiting to punch our floors for us but ... That wayside's getting pretty crowded.
@JDinNM, I agree completely! One of our grocery stores hires as baggers folks who have trouble finding jobs due to some disability or another. When those jobs disappear, so do their opportunities for feeling self-sufficient. And there is research coming out that shows that even incidental contacts with other humans, like cashiers and baggers, help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. I think I have told the story of the elderly gentleman who was checking out and when the cashier asked how his day was going, he started weeping and said he had just finished his chemo appointment and now his wife was getting her chemo. She stopped her work, turned and faced him with her full attention and spent maybe 2 minutes being a responsive and sympathetic human. It was a joy to see and no one in the line who could witness this said a word about the slow checkout. Those kinds of things don't happen with self-checkout.
@Lindsey, Amen.
@JDinNM, the pandemic really pushed self checkout forward.,I remember all the Walmart cashiers who were forced to work and got sick. 69 minutes had a recent show about where ai is headed. Dollar tree is starting to have self checkout too. My kid was telling me that lots of job interviews are AI now.
@Tiana, So now we'll be living in artificially intelligent cocoons with no human interaction. Yay! Can't wait for that.
Thank you for sharing your day Kristen, I enjoyed this post: Like you, I am more productive in the morning. I am up fairly early, not so much because I want to, but to try to catch senior cat before she pees wherever she decides to go. (in truth, that would be 3 times a day!). I try to get the more important items on my list done in the morning before I am pooched later on.
The Aldi I go to in Alabama has 5 self checkouts now too. This is a recent development so I figure they are trying to keep up with the bigger stores who all have mostly self-checkouts.
Thanks for sharing! Love your wholesome breakfast!
Thank you for this post. It was relatable for me. I feel like I don't get anything done most days, but my days look somewhat like yours (kids are a different age, so there's that.) Laundry counts. Walking counts. It just feels so good that I don't think of it as an activity.
You had a very busy and productive day that was so, so different from mine! I spend so much of my day away from home at my job and commute that getting up at six is late and getting to bed before 10:30 is early. One day it will be different -by choice, I hope! I agree, another post of "A Day in the Life" in six months would be interesting to compare with this post. I'll bet you still get a ton of stuff done, though.
I have an air pump for low tires, but mine is a different kind and I was wondering what I would get when it decides to quit working. It's starting to get a little touchy now. How long have you had yours?
The bread made my mouth water. Darn you, gluten!
This is the first time I've used mine but Lisey has had hers for several years and it's still going strong!
List Lady is back:
1. It takes so much time to document life as it ticks along, so of course the day felt less productive.
2. You had salad for breakfast, because you are having breakfast for dinner.
3. How in the world do you fit in classes, studying, or volunteering?? Looked to me as if you went non-stop all day with just living life, "keeping the homefires burning". I commend you on not wasting time, not making excuses, continuing to process the difficult emotions, fitting in learning (Duolingo), making time to share bread and visit with Donna, eating regular balanced meals, keeping that law of thermodynamics from wrecking order in your home.
4. Since you took a request for a Day-in-the-Life post, would you consider taking a request for a What-I-am-Reading post?
I'm having a cup of coffee at 10:05 am and reading about your day -- I'm exhausted! Granted I'm not a morning person, but I'm amazed that you are able to get so much accomplished in one day! Bravo! Will you take a break on Wednesday and spend the day in bed reading movie magazines and eating bonbons?
There is something healthy in righteous anger. It doesn't matter who is at fault or what actually happened, I think anger is just part of the emotional deal that you make with yourself to recover from trauma. Sometimes I think to myself "Why am I feeling this now?" not so much to find the trigger (because sometimes life is the trigger!) but because it means that you're working through things even when you're not actively thinking about things. Does that make sense? And occasionally, every once in a while, you realize that you deserve to be angry about whatever it was, that it's okay to be angry, and that it's just part of the process.
I didn't mean to lecture, really -- I'm working through my own issues about aging, and when I feel angry about something I remember that scene in All That Jazz where Bob Fosse is going through the steps of the process of dying, and I remember that you can waver from acceptance to anger to grief in both directions.
Yes to it being part of the process. It's how you move through, vs. getting stuck, I think!
I have eaten no bonbons so far today. Ha.
I went to my first Aldi's the other day and it had self-checkout. I understand why you're so gung ho about those. The one I was at was pretty cool.
you just seem SO stuck in the past and like a marriage formed your whole persona before this? Worrisome a bit with raising girls. At one point you said you were starting your life over again...and I was like WHAT? Your life should have been YOUR life all along . The fact a marriage makes one end, means you have formed yourself as a marriage and not as a human/woman/person. If you have to "restart" . Yikes in a lot of ways, but I do wish you the best. Just hope your girls are able to form their own individuality a bit better.
Oh, Heather. This is just one in a very long line of comments where you are ungracious (and sometimes downright cruel. Look at the comment you left on the bench cushion repair post, under the name Caroline), all while using a concerned tone.
Heather is just one of the names you use to leave these comments (Jean, Rebz Caroline, Clare, to name just a few); I can see your IP addresses, so I know that it is you, no matter which name you pick. And even if you sign your name "confused in MD", I know very well that you live in Ontario. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. 😉
I understand that you are not interested in hearing my explanations or trying to understand my viewpoint, given how many times I've already patiently responded to you.
So I will just say this: given that Lisey has had hair of every color under the sun, has just graduated from trade school to be an airplane mechanic in a field dominated by men, and is moving to Hawaii...I think you should find someone else's children to worry about it when it comes to individuality.
@Kristen, Your gracious response to this comment is yet another testament (to anyone who needs it) to what a very well-balanced individual you are!
@Kristen, brilliantly done!
@heather, your comments are so passive aggressive and mean. I don't understand how it makes you feel better to stomp on someone that I'm assuming you don't even know. Kristen's way of communicating on this platform and the positive, kind community she has built here speaks to her character. Your comments speak to yours - Yikes in a lot of ways. If what's here causes you pain/anger/resentment, I suggest you not come here.
@heather, Wow, for someone who claims they are wishing Kristen the best, you sure are not using any sort of kindness in your words. From what I can see (and bear in mind we see a very small window into Kristen's world, for all that she shares), her girls are doing a great job of forming their individuality, as has Kristen. I have been reading her since long before her marriage broke, and she was a very unique individual with her own hobbies and interests.
Perhaps you're not aware of how devastating the end of a marriage can be, whether it's through divorce or death of a spouse. It IS like starting a life over again, since the married life had a shared goal and was shared with another person.
@heather, I don't think Kristen is "stuck" in her past, she's learning from it to move forward. That takes some serious growth mindset and courage. It's ok not to be able to empathize or even sympathize but it's not ok to be unkind, especially while someone is going through a challenging time.
Kristen, xx. "I’m not what happened to me, I am what I choose to be"- Carl Jung
I am definitely trying not to be stuck! I'm working hard in therapy and in support groups and on my own to try to heal from what is a significant, long-standing amount of hurt.
People who are much smarter than me about this repeatedly say the only way to not be stuck is to do the hard work of processing through it all, so I am trusting that this is true, and I am trusting the process.
I cannot control what has already happened to me, but I do have a choice about how I deal with it!
@Suz, Agree completely!! Could not have said it better than you.
@Suz, As you say, Kristen is well-balanced and the very soul of kindness. She is the last person one would say is defined by her marriage or willing to stay stuck.
I feel like Heather is not a reader of this blog at all.
Trust me, she's been here for a long time! I can see her comment history and it goes way back.
@heather, wow! Harsh! Unbelievably so. Seems designed to hurt. There are so many good, helpful, empathetic commenters here. Wondering why you are here (along with just one or two others.) I’ll keep reading and loving.
@heather, in a modern world-based ideology of marriage ya, but in a marriage based on Bible principles individuality is not the objective. Husband is head, wife submissive, kids obedient. Not modern at all. But for many it works even today. If the head isn’t loving and with tender affection and care for everyone things go awry. When a Christian marriage ends it leaves everyone trying to find their footing. If you don’t believe in the Bible that can seem “insert your word of choice” but if you do believe in applying Bible principals to live your life your objective is pleasing God, not trying to please man and the myriad of opinions. Not trying to speak for anyone else just saying.
I would love to hear recommended podcasts.
@Connie, I would love to hear about recommendations, too. I have a slew that I listen to to the exclusion of music!
Well, I am that person whom you helped feel not so alone today. Not due to a hard marriage, mine come from cruelly critical parents, long gone and not mourned. It’s funny, you have wonderful parents and a difficult marriage; I had rough parents but have a wonderful marriage. We all have our things.
Love Wordle. My DH and I compare and once we’ve both finished, as you do with your mom.
I’d be very interested to hear which podcasts you enjoy. I need some good recommendations, but only if you would feel comfortable to share.
This post has some awesome content.
And, yaay Lisey, now onboard! How cool would it be for you to do a "Day in my life" on a visit to her in Hawaii?
I'm curious about how you feel about Hawaii. I mean it's super exciting for Lisey but Hawaii is terribly expensive. Everything is vastly more expensive. That and it's sooo far away. I have three grown children and they live their own lives, but I would be a little concerned if one wanted to move to Hawaii. Just curious about your thoughts, financially anyway. You don't have to elaborate on the distance because I'm sure I know, as a mother, how you feel about that. Thanks
@Amanda, I have to believe the competition for these jobs in Hawaii must be astronomically fierce! Which makes me even more impressed with what an impressive young woman Lisey is. If I were her age and had that opportunity, I'd jump on it with both feet. Even if I had to share a house with twenty-eleven roommates to afford to live there. She is going to have. a. blast.
@JDinNM, Especially with those dimples ...
Isn't she just so cute? And her personality is so charming too.
The boys are literally lining up wanting to date her. 😉
@Amanda, My son wants to move to Perth, Australia. Oy! We live in suburban New York.
@Rose, But then you'll have someone to stay with when you travel to Australia! And New Zealand! What a wonderful trip that would be.
Fascinating! I love seeing what other people's days look like...! If you like Wordle, you should try Don't Wordle https://dontwordle.com/; it's the opposite approach, as you try to avoid guessing the word for that day. You want to start out with words with a minimum of different letters (mamma, phpht...) instead of words with five different letters. Took me a little bit to get the hang of, but now I play Wordle and Don't Wordle every morning!
Ohhh, that would be so weird to try! I will tell my mom about it.
@Kelly, there’s also Quordle which is 4 wordles at once but you get a total of 9 guesses to figure out all 4.
Thanks for sharing. I love this kind of post. I am most impressed at how much you got accomplished by 9:00 am!
And so sorry you are dealing with that memory, but glad that you know how to deal with it and let it go. I appreciate you being open to sharing the hard things, as you are encouraging so many others.
I loved reading your day in the life! I would love to read them monthly. I felt really invigorated seeing how much you accomplished and it reminded me of how much time we do have in a day. It gave me a little extra inspiration to kickstart my morning more productively. Thank you. 🙂
Thanks for sharing! Maybe you could do this once a month! 6 months feels too far out. It’s always nice to be reminded that everyone has mundane tasks. Seeing you do them somehow inspires me 🙂 and I’m grateful for the reminder to bake for neighbors! I used to do that all the time and I haven’t done it in ages. There is a newly widowed man down the street, maybe I’ll make him a loaf of cinnamon swirl bread… Thabjs! Keep your chin up!
@Caitlie,
I second the vote for once a month!! Very inspiring.
Podcasts at 2x speed. Why have I never thought of this. That could be game changer.
How do you keep them from sounding like Alvin and the Chipmunks?
Well, not gonna lie, the intro and outro music does sound a little funny at 2x. But mostly the voices sound ok once you get used to it!
@Teresa, asking Kristen this: Doesn't it make everyone sound like the chipmunks? Not that there's anything wrong with that ...
I also do Wordle on most days. Surprisingly, I got that one on 3 tries--I was just trying to figure out the letter placement and my throw-away word ended up being the right answer! 🙂 My daughter and I enjoy several of the NYT games and it's fun to compare how we did. I'm not surprised that you also play, you wordie, you!
I wanted to comment on your hiking in the woods versus walking paved pathways. Uneven terrain with potential obstacles (rocks, sticks, elevation gain, etc.) provides a different kind of workout and is more challenging to your balance than walking on pavement or a treadmill, so it's not surprising that it takes you longer. I'm a huge fan of hiking, and also of taking pictures while I hike (although I only have the camera on my phone). I think it's healing for your soul to be out of doors getting exercise, and if I'm experiencing strong emotions like anger, it helps me process them. I'm so glad that this is an easy option for you.
Well this post is enlightening! And appreciate your answer to "Heather," or whoever she is. I'm thinking she has an ulterior agenda possibly undermining Christianity.
I admire you for having your engine revved in the morning. I am exactly the opposite and can just barely get moving by noon. However, working three nights a week does not promote a healthy circadian rhythm.
I play Wordle, too. I sometimes forget to play but I have lost only one game since it became popular and usually get it by the fourth try. It's fun knowing we are all working at discovering the same word!
Thank you for teaching us to cope with anger. I am reminded of Ephesians 4:26-27 "Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."
I really enjoyed this post. Thank you so much for sharing. I tend to oscillate between two anxiety modes: "why can't I get more done in a day" and "I am tired because I pack too much into a day." It's a no-win situation. LOL. Reading posts like yours reminds that I am just like most folks: getting done an appropriate amount of things each day. That truth brings me great peace.
I am also just so fascinated by morning people. Your brain just wakes up? At 6am? By magic? Amazing.
Unfortunately, yes. I am NO GOOD at sleeping in, a fact that is super frustrating at times when I want to be able to stay up late and not suffer for it!
@Amanda, my husband has one of those magical brains and wakes up at 5:30 every day. I, on the other hand, could sleep until 10. So even though I am retired now, I have to use an alarm to wake up at 7:30 just so our schedules aren't off by 5 hours.
Dear Kristen, thank you for sharing your day with us. Do you plan your day or do things as it comes?
I wonder why you stayed as long as you did. You seem to have a loving family- parents, siblings, friends, and a church, didn't they see what you've been going through and get you out sooner?
You're inspiring :)!
Sometimes I plan, sometimes I don't. Making a list of possible options for my day usually results in more productivity, though!
The second question: that's a complicated answer, and perhaps one day, after my divorce, I will write more about that. The short answer is that things are not always what they seem, and so sometimes devastating hurt is invisible to those outside.
I'm a daily Wordle player too! It's such a fun addition to my day.
What language are you learning on Duolingo?
I really enjoyed this snapshot of your life!
Spanish! Because I think that is the most practical language that could possibly help me in my nursing career. Even if I am just at a basic functional level, it might help me serve patients better.
My day would be: drag my weary bones out of bed. Do I have to get up? Seriously? But I need to go to the bathroom...
Then a few more bathroom trips (colitis!).
Then playing Wordle and posting my score to FB.
Then looking at the news.
Then thinking OH GOD DO I HAVE TO WORK? Scanning news to decide what to write about for the day.
Go out for 20 minutes to feed feral cats.
Decide resentfully to start work. Work for 20 minutes or so and then look at blogs.
Is it lunchtime yet? no? 10 more minutes of work. Eat some lunch.
How did it get to be 1PM? I better get my work done.
Crankily do some work.
4PM, thankfully finished. Oh man, do I have to make dinner? Seriously?
etc.
Oooh, you do Wordle too! Of course you do, fellow word-lover.
@Rose, Shampoo, rinse, repeat ...
@JDinNM, I shouldn't complain about my job, it's an ideal job, I just don't wanna work at all. I've felt very discontented in the past few months. Of course if I didn't work I'd find something else to whinge about. I could easily get along with Social Security, cottage rental plus savings but I'm not old enough.
I need to focus on things outside work, basically, including regaining whatever stamina I can, working on my memoir, spending more time on friends and hobbies and walking my dogs. I wish my kids would leave--not because I don't love them but it's time for them to be gone and for me to eat a couple scrambled eggs for dinner if I feel like it instead of the elaborate family meals I make which stress me out. (They're both frantically trying to find good jobs. I said when Lisey decided to go to mechanics school I envied Kristen and I stand by that opinion!)
@Rose, Do you live with me??? Your schedule sounds suspiciously like mine (although I do not feed feral cats, I pet an affection seeking dog).
@Lindsey, As my niece discovered, the problem with feeding stray neighborhood cats is that one day they just waltz into your house and never leave. Just ask Princess Marigold Sparkles. Or Her Majesty, for short.
@Lindsey, at 3PM sharp every day, my larger dog Betsy starts anxiously coming up to me for petting. Yeah OK, 4PM is dinner time, dingaling.
I have two tiresome dogs, one tiresome cat, and two tiresome adult children. Also there is a male cardinal who somehow often sneaks his way into the house, who hugely interests the tiresome cat. I know it's same one because of his janky crest, leading to his nickname Sir Jank-a-Lot or Colonel Janky. The cat obviously thinks OH BOY FINALLY! and chirrups excitedly and I tell him, not bloody likely, Gus.
@Rose, When my sister got similarly overwhelmed in her household, she told me she wanted to check in somewhere "for a nervous breakdown, shampoo and set."
Our Aldi here in KY just put in a self check out lane. Maybe it’s coming to every Aldi eventually.
@LDA, I have a favorite cashier at Aldi. He brightens my day. I'd be sad not to see him at the check-out lane--all to say, I hope it comes later rather than sooner to my area.
Hello Kristen, I so enjoyed hearing as well seeing this day. I could picture you doing this as I read. Ha Your brighten my day by this post. Wishing you a great rest of the week my friend of at least 10 years now. (HUGS)
Oh, I am so happy that it made your day a little extra cheerful. Yay!
You had a heck of a lot more social interactions in one day than I normally have in a week it seems. ^_^ Of course I talk to people but it's all in the context of working.
Ha, well, I mean, I live with Lisey and Zoe so I do see them every day. But all my errand-running interactions are probably more like your work interactions. 🙂
About the time you took out your second load of laundry, I needed a nap! 😉 Showers are my place of choice for emotional glitches, so you are not alone!
Thanks for giving us a picture of your day, although I must admit it makes me feel like a sloth! I admire your productive use of time with podcasts and wish they worked for me. I dislike intensely having things piped into my ears but more to the point is that I stop paying attention and next thing I know I have had 45 minutes where I remember nothing I heard because I was thinking about something else. That never happens to me with reading. Actually, it is true for all information that is trying to reach me through my ears. I never liked attending university lectures because I would just rather read the information. I have a friend who is a writer and although I go to her readings to be supportive, I hate every minute of it. When we were first married, my husband used to write me letters because he felt like I paid more attention to them than I did to him talking. (Thankfully, I improved my listening skills so he doesn't have to do that anymore, but I am still not that great at paying attention if someone I don't love is talking to me.)
Now, I am off to buy the tire pump!
Generally that's true for me too! I am not much of an audio learner. BUT if my body is busy doing something like walking or folding laundry, then I can pay attention. Otherwise, I have a terrible time.
@Lindsey,
Ditto to EVERYTHING you said about podcasts and listening to people. I feel the same way.
@Lindsey, I'm completely with you on visual vs. auditory processing. I too am a visual processor (and an abnormally fast reader), so I would far rather read something for myself than have almost anyone else read it to me. (The exception, of course, was DH, who had a beautiful reading voice and was often asked to read for weddings, funerals, etc.)
This quirk of mine is probably going to make trouble for me down the road, since I've got some eye problems developing. But I'll drive off that bridge when I get to it.
@A. Marie, Or videos (blogger videos where they all make that stupid ridiculous giant smile with their eyebrows raised and their eyes bugged out) or Zoom meetings. Sat through two Zoom meetings today that could have been distilled into one page. But you're not allowed to complain about that at work because it means your coworkers can't ask astonishingly stupid questions about what they just learnded. (Ralph Wiggum typo definitely intended.)
It might seem silly among all of these deeply profound comments, but I came here to say vanilla in a mug refers to mug cakes (the ones you make in a microwave). Hope this helps xx
@Katy (France), Thank you for clearing this up! And there is nothing more profound than mug cakes. Or any kind of cake.
This was a fun post! Thanks for doing it.
I'm impressed that you do podcasts at 2x speed. I do them at 1.2x and an currently doing my audiobook at 1.5x. I tried upping my podcast to 1.5 today but it was too fast. Some of my podcasts are comedy ones, though, so I probably need to leave the space to laugh. (Fun side note: I just found a podcast about books that's hosted by a stand-up comedian and am so happy to find the cross of 2 things I really enjoy. )
My Aldi got self- checkouts last month. It's such an odd idea since their checkout process is one of the things they're known for best. I use it if I'm only getting a couple of things, but otherwise I can't get my items out and scan them as fast as the machine wants and I get annoyed with how often it tells me to "scan another item." 🙂 Even though I use self- checkout at Meijer 99% of the time, I'll stick with a cashier at Aldi.
I listen to one by two Australian dudes, and I do have to slow that one down a bit from 2x sometimes. The accents make 2x a little too fast!
Ooh, what language are you learning on Duolingo? I don't recall you talking about that before. I really enjoy these day in the life posts too. I wouldn't be upset if you did them every month!
Spanish! I figured it might be useful in my nursing career.
I think you would not like my social media videos because OH MAN I raise my eyebrows all the time, whether I am on video or not. And I have a giant smile. lol
I just LOOOOOVED this post!! Even though it also made me feel like a bit of a shlump in comparison. LOL (Right, never compare, never compare...) You are quite an amazing human.
I wanted to mention a bamboo dish draining rack. I got ours years ago (maybe 8 or 9 years ago at least?) I like that it's not plastic, it has dual racks in one and as we hand wash our dishes too - it is a life saver. We got ours at a small kitchen store I used to work at, but I believe you can find them all sorts of places - and likely on Amazon too. I pop a little drying mat under it - you can find those anywhere too, they are very absorbent.
Hope it helps. I truly love mine. 🙂
P.S. I swear I could SMELL how gorgeous that cinnamon bread must have been...
Hi there. I’ve been reading your posts on & off for a couple of years and I’m curious to know what you meant about the raging fit you had in the shower about menu planning, or whatever it was you said.
What is that about? I’m sorry if I’m being too nosy.
Jocelyn Knight
A bad memory from my marriage around cooking/menu planning. If I was having lunch with you in person, I would explain more. Butttt, since this is the internet, I will err on the side of saying less!
I am eleven years since the end of my marriage. The first 3.75 - yeah, that's about right- were the roughest and I actually spent a good year or so being really angry at myself for putting up with it for so long! Thank God for therapists! She also gave me the same advice, "Don't push it out of sight, sit with it for a little bit, figure out what's going to be better from now on and move on." I'm surprised that even eleven years later memories will bubble up and I am a little sad or angy, but what changed was how I handled the "figuring out what is going to be better from now on" part. So, at the end of my, I guess you could say, pity party, I ask myself, "How will I be a better person to myself? How will I better take care of myself?" Not how am I going to be a better mom, aunt, student, teacher, driver, Oriole fan, gardener etc, but, what am I doing to take care of me? Nobody -except my therapist- ever asked me that question before. So, I ask me that question, sometimes every day. And every day I'm liking my answers more and more.
Vanilla Milk. One mug of milk. A 1/2 tsp of vanilla, and a squig of honey or a 1/2 tsp of sugar. Heat in microwave until hot. We dubbed it Magic Milk as the honey always helped the children go off to sleep.