"Looking at the bright side is so unrealistic!"
I've written about contentment a lot in the 8 years I've been blogging, and whenever I write about or talk about contentment/optimism/looking at the bright side, someone always chimes in by pointing out that viewing the world through cheerful lenses is unrealistic.
Being contented and grateful just isn't realistic when there's pain in everyone's lives, they say. How can you think everything is sunshine and roses??*
*which isn't what I'm saying anyway.
It IS unequivocally true that there's pain in everyone's lives.
There's pain in my life and in your life and in the lives of everyone you know. And it will always be that way, as long as we live on this earth.
But you know what? Almost no one needs help figuring that out. We are born with a propensity for noticing the pain/inequity/misery in our lives. It's like our built-in lenses are pre-focused for laser sharp pain vision.
So, I waste very little energy worrying that people will somehow miss the boat and forget to see all the things that are wrong with their lives.
We humans are pretty good at that kind of realism.
But here's the problem.
While we're good at seeing our pain, we tend to be fairly awful at seeing the positive things that are going on in our lives, even though there's almost always something to be grateful for.
We DO have difficulty looking at our lives realistically, but it's not because we are looking too hard at our blessings...it's because we're not looking hard enough at them!
If there are four things going wrong in your life, you will undoubtedly notice those.
But if there are four other positive things happening in your life, there's no guarantee you'll see those.
And if all you have eyes for are the things going wrong, then you will feel like your life is going down the tubes indeed.
But I would argue that's not a realistic way of looking at your life. What's realistic is opening your eyes to the positive things as well as the negative things.
So.
That's why I harp on looking for the positive, and making lists of things to be thankful for, and keeping an eye out for blessings. We don't have to work to see our pain, but we do have to work to see our blessings.
And I've found that even in the hardest times of my life, there has ALWAYS been something to be thankful for...some small bright side, some little blessing, some kindness. I just have to look a little harder for it.
For instance, the summer I got pregnant with Zoe was not a marvelous time in our lives.
That pregnancy was most unexpected, it came at a time when we'd just bought a smelly (dog! cigarette smoke! All the terrible things for a nauseous person!) fixer-upper house and were in the midst of moving, we were kind of financially strapped because some things went wonky with the house purchase, I was too sick to work on the house at all, I barely was able to keep teaching piano lessons, and I had three small kids to care for.
(after the very worst was over)
But, I remember journaling a list of things I could still be grateful for.
At least I'd gotten a lot of packing done before I got sick.
Family helped us finish packing and got us moved.
My church family brought meals for my family to eat.
The Zofran was keeping me out of the hospital.
Pregnancy sickness isn't contagious, and it has a definite end point (9 months and done.)
Family and friends helped Mr. FG with some of the more urgent house projects.
(I know my trials that summer are fairly small in comparison to what some of you have been through. But for me, it was a very challenging time and I had to make an effort to see things to be grateful for.)
Now, all of this can go horribly wrong when we're not minding our own business. Most people won't take kindly to it if they pour out their pain to you and you blithely point out all the great things going on in their lives. People need sympathy and validation when they're feeling down, and you should probably only venture to point out their blessings if you have a close relationship with them.
(And even then it's wise to tread lightly.)
But when it comes to you? Well, your state of contentment or lack thereof is totally your business, so you can feel free to be as grateful as you want.
For instance, a few years ago, a flu/cold-like bug hit our house. I got it first, so I was on the mend by the time my kids all went down.
I was really thankful I got it first instead of at the same time, because then I was well enough to take care of my kids, and I didn't have to worry about catching what they had either, which makes the job way easier.
But if Mr. FG goes down first one time, I'm not going to cheerfully point out how wonderful it is that he won't have to worry about catching the bug as it works through our family.
Somehow, that line of thinking becomes way more obnoxious when you try to force it on someone else. 😉
So.
I'm all about being realistic when we look at our lives, but being realistic involves a lot more optimism and looking-at-the-bright-side than we might expect.
And looking just as hard at our blessings as we do at our trials will usually result in a more cheerful, contented attitude, even if nothing changes except our perspective.
It's kind of like magic...magical, optimistic realism. 😉
______________
P.S. Lest you think otherwise, please know that I am not perfectly contented, and I don't always look at the bright side. But. When I'm feeling down and I do manage to count my blessings and look at the bright side, it never fails to make me feel better.
Nice post.
I like to look on the bright side, it helps me keep life simple. Yes its hard sometimes but I have to push through. Something I've learned is there are things I have no control over, I just need to let it be.
Misery is catching but so is a smile, for me laughter serves me better.
Ths is lovely. Thank you. Every morning when I wake up I try to take a moment to think through my day with a sense of gratitude. Sometimes even challenging aspects of my day take on a new light. I don't manage this practice every morning (I have two small children), but I definitely approach my day definitely when I do manage it.
I've also been thinking about a number of people I know who are very stressed. They are so busy striving for more and better that they don't seem to be able rest in the good enough that they have. I am trying to be grateful for the good enough that I do have so that I can enjoy it.
I am really working on this. We are in location that we all hate, and the whiny toddler stage has me about ready to hop a plane for Hawaii.
I have found that writing 5 things I am grateful for down in a notebook every night really helps. It reminds me that there is something to be grateful for even if the whole day went down the pooper!
I also keep a list of prayers in my Bible. Then periodically I look back and see which ones have been answered and cross them off. It is really cool to see how God has worked in my life for my good.
Ooh, whining is hard. My toddlers weren't super tantrum-prone, but oh, the WHINING. So much. For so many hours.
It makes you count down the hours until bedtime, doesn't it??
It does pass, I promise. It's been a lot of years since my kids followed me around the house, whining and holding onto my pant legs. Hang in there, mama!
I tell my youngest my name is "mom" not "moMmM" (imagine said in a whiny voice).
Does not using that line of thinking on other people apply to your children? My 9yo woke up today and declared it was the worse morning of his life. Reading this makes me wonder if I should of reacted differently. I asked him to list what he is grateful for and how it could be much worse. I probably should of validated his feelings a bit better first. I'm sure there will be tomorrow to try again.
With kids, I think it's a little different. I mean, it's kind of our job to help them learn the skill of seeing blessings/bright sides. As long as we do it gently while also validating their feelings and letting them know it's ok to be upset about the pain in their lives, I think it's fine.
I used to have to do this a lot of one of my kids in the preschool years, and even though she had a very crabby attitude about counting her blessings, by the time she'd listed a few, her attitude was almost always different.
I think our response to our children should be different because it's our responsibility to teach them how to deal with hard days & bad feelings. Still, even our children need to be ready & willing to hear. Ideally I'd find out why 'it's the worst morning of his life' then suggest that it's up to him whether or not he chooses to allow it to stay a bad day. He may not be able to turn it into an over-the-top great day but he can choose to make it a good day instead.
I also think sometimes we need to learn to just deal with the hard stuff - sometimes hard stuff come because of bad choices we make & other times we have no control over them but we need to face them. It's unrealistic to expect that we'll never be unhappy, bored or sad & we need to help our children understand that.
Thank God raising children isn't something we can do in a day! we h ave about 20 yrs to get the good points across.
I struggle with a really "dark side" looking kid, and I've found that I need to do both---validate his feelings, but also model gratitude and positive thinking. Sometimes, when he's in a really bad mood it is not the best time for him to hear the message, so I may just do the validation and extra hugs at the moment but make sure that later I try to talk about how I turn around my own bad moods and see the good side of things.
Kristen, I agree with you 110% !!
We can choose our thoughts, words, actions; even in the face of extreme difficulties. It makes us a better person, a better spouse, a better parent, etc.
we only get one chance at this earthly life; no reason not to make the most if every day, and have as much joy and happiness in the process!
Dayna, when my son tries the "worst day" line with me, I smile, give him a hug, and tell him my "worst day" would be if he wasn't in my life. Occasionally met with an eye roll, but mostly a good hug and a kiss removes some of the grumpies.
Great answer!
I love this!!! I would only add a caveat for those with depression ... If listing the good things doesn't help that isn't your fault, it's not something you're doing wrong-it's your beautiful brain's wonky brain chemistry doing wonky things.
When you have depression and people tell you to "cheer up" or ask "have you tried being happy?" all it does it make you hate yourself a little more because you can't just follow that easy tip of finding the silver lining. I've gotten to the point where I really hate when people, well meaning they are, try to cheer me up at all when I get in a funk.
Thanks Battra92 for putting into words what my daughter has tried to tell me. I suppose reading it from someone else has opened my eyes more! Depression is an entirely different monster.
That is just really insensitive of people to say to someone who is clinically depressed. I'm sorry that has happened to you.
Definitely. Clinical depression is a whole different topic that I'm not remotely qualified to address! It's very, very different than just not seeing your blessings.
Good points -- depression is serious business and sometimes just listening and validating, as everyone has said, without panicking and thinking you have to "fix" things or be relentlessly cheerful for someone who is truly depressed. It's human nature to want to make everyone happy but sadness is real, too.
I think there should also be a caveat for chronic pain. There's pain, then there's PAIN (or ongoing never ending illness) which can totally grip a person. I couldn't relate to a relative who told me to look at the bright side when I was in the worst of the pain (for months) and doctors didn't know if it would ever subside.
Correction: people need empathy. Sympathy only goes for far and for so many situations. Having said that, though, I agree with you that these things are cyclical and happen to us all. And if we can put ourselves into a habit of remembering the good things, the bad things will lose some of their sting and longevity. At least, that's what I have found and YES I have lots to gripe about on a daily basis...but that doesn't generally make me feel better...
Thank you! I needed this this morning as a ferocious bug is working its way through our family, and my husband and I are not feeling very bright side.
You're right. I live in a time, place, and income level where I never have to worry about my children being hungry or dying of small pox. Our house is warm. Our extended family is healthy. My husband and I both have careers we love. Beyoncé just came out with a new song. God loves me. Really what else can I ask for?
Wow Kristen! I needed this reminder this morning! Thanks!
Lovely, lovely post -- and true! It can be hard to put into action I am a born whiner so try to leaven with humor but -- negative is negative. At work the psych gave me a mug that I cherish -- "It is what it is." We've all started saying this and actually it helps. Some things are not going to change so what can we do to make it work. Surprising how much this has helped.
Great point, too, about human nature -- 10 good things might happen but we only zero in on the 11th negative thing. You are so right -- no one needs help to see the dark side of things 😉 Your blog is stellar at modeling true cheerfulness and the work it takes to be content sometimes. Thank you!
Everyday might not be good...but there is good in everyday. I am proud to be optimistic!
Hi! Thank you for this post. When I go to bed at night during my prayers, I also thank the Lord for all the things I've been blessed with. I think it's too easy to forget all the blessings I've been given.
Thanks to the "Happiness Advantage" by Steve Achor, I not only list 3 things for which I am grateful, but I write about one positive thing that happened that day and one act of kindness that I did. Knowing I will write these, I start to look for them throughout the day and I start focusing on the positive.
He addresses the unrealistic complaint. He calls for rational positiveness. But he believes that it is really there.
Thanks for the post Kristen. One of my positives in my life are your posts like this.
Thanks for sharing this. I agree, we tend to focus on the negative, bad and ugly. It takes work to reign in our emotions once they follow a path our thoughts go down. I truly try to remember Philippians 4:8. To think in those things that are true good etc. I remember when you went through your flu type illness with your children.
I still enjoy your emails!!!!
Joan
Hello Kristen,
I only discovered your site a few weeks ago, but I love it!
Something that helps up my contentment levels dramatically is that people write in to my website and ask for a little practical help for their situation...and I suddenly realize (again!) how lucky I am! Sometimes it's just the fact that I have a car and can go where I need to during the day...sometimes it's realizing what a supportive spouse I have...sometimes it's how lucky I am that my kids are healthy.
One article that continues to be a favorite on my website is 'Battling Depression as a SAHM'. The main thing is, if you are battling depression, you have to BATTLE it! 🙂 Don't give in. Analyze it like it's the enemy, have a strategy and a plan, understand what's going to trip you up.
Looking forward to your posts every day now Kristen...and would love to know how in the world you find time to post every day!!!
Thanks,
Lynn
I love this post---posts like this (and the ones about fixing things yourself) are what drew me to your blog despite the fact that our lives could not be more different!
As a born worrier, pessimist and A+ complainer, I hold myself up as proof that you CAN change your natural inclination. I've been working really really hard for the past few years to look on the bright side, be more positive, and notice the small wonders in my life---and its actually working! I am far far from perfect, but I've gotten pretty good at finding bright spots in even the darkest days. A pretty sunset, a perfect cup of coffee, a nice hug---when you're looking, you will find them!
That is so awesome -- gives me hope!
I love this post, and this comment! I am prone to having trouble seeing the good in a rough situation. It is absolutely essential that we fight against our natural propensity for bleakness and notice goodness and all of the things we are to be thankful for. I am a military wife facing yet another deployment, and the learned ability to notice the good, and my faith in Christ, are what keep me going the distance.
This was a good post and you are absolutely right about everything. However, I do have one caveat. When you were talking about your "difficult" summer of trying to move when you were ill, you had both a family and a church family to step in to help.
Many, many people do not have either one of these and that changes the whole equation. When you struggle forth alone it's a different ballgame.
That's such a huge thing to be grateful for...people who come alongside and help and care. When Sonia had her skin cancer scare last year, that's one of the things I learned. We had so much love and care through that whole experience, and I wish everyone was blessed with such relational riches.
What a blessing to read this today! Dealing with a nasty sinus virus and the prospect of looking after my whiny toddler today. So thankful to live in a century with clean water, pseudoephedrine and ibuprofen!
I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post. I woke up today very anxious (not sure why...), and, quite frankly, snippy. I am going to take some time right now to reflect on all the good things in my life. Like the hot AND cold, clean running water in my house; and I went to a performance of a very beautiful opera yesterday, with my mother, who is still alive, and I am in my forties....
I just love complaining too much. It makes me happy 🙂
I agree that this is a true statement for everyday trials and tribulations of life but it has its limitations. I say this coming from a period of life where some truly awful things happened. One of the reasons we stopped going to church was because we have found the church as a whole is terrible at dealing with the issue of pain. When you pour your heart out to people and they tell you to count your blessings, or its God's will, etc. (whether or not its true) it can be so discouraging. Life cannot be tied up in a nice neat bow like that. Sometime the best thing to do is just cry with someone, agree that things can royally suck, and listen. Looking back at that time, I just needed someone to help me carry the load...or even just a molecule of it. I needed people to come along beside us. I didn't want to hear about my blessings in the midst of it. When my kids are driving me crazy or everyday life is getting to me, then an attitude adjustment could be just what I need. I've also found laughter can help in most situations. So many times my husband and I have chosen to laugh over crying. I suspect some people might find our brand of humor odd, but it works for us.
I hope that wasn't too much a downer comment. This topic just weighs on my mind a lot.
I feel so sad for you that that was your church experience! Your church family should have come alongside you and helped you and loved you through the trial and tribulations.
And yeah...when someone is in the midst of really hard times, it is just usually NOT appropriate to be all, "Oh, count your blessings!" It can be a tone-deaf thing to say, especially when you haven't even come alongside with empathy and understanding and offers to help.
I am also sad that Kim had that experience with her church. She needed someone just to listen to her, bring meals, help with child care, take her out for coffee .... her comment challenges me to think of ways I can truly be helpful when someone is hurting.
Yes! My church friends are so so so good at that. Give sympathy/empathy, and then also offer practical help.
Kim, I wish we were all neighbors so that we could pour out some practical love on your family!
Thanks Kristen and Kris. Things are much calmer for now. Looking on the bright side 🙂 our trials have taught me a lot about empathy and how I approach others (although I still have a lot to learn). Also, I try to appreciate the calm times in life because they can quickly change. Boring is good! We have talked a lot about finding a new church, but haven't taken the plunge yet.
I'm going to try to say this very carefully KimN... I struggle a bit with the expectation that your church *should* "understand pain" and "come alongside" you...
If I had this experience, I'd first ask myself if I had been helpful to others in my church community. Sometimes people come to church with the expectation of being helped but without a personal commitment to helping others. Sometimes they are unable to see that there are others who are similarly in need.
As for the pain part, it's hard for people who haven't been there to "get" it. But you do, and you can share your understanding with others. You can be the change you want to see. Is there someone you can give support to, even if it's just one phone call a week? Could you organize a pain support group that meets for just fifteen minutes after church services? Baby steps such as these might help you strengthen your support system and feel better too.
I think there's a both/and kind of thing that can happen here, though. You can be sad that no one is coming alongside you, and also be looking for ways to come alongside someone else.
I've been in churches where there's coming alongside you kind of communities and also churches where that is sadly absent...and sometimes, when you work to bring about change in a church where that's absent, it's like kicking against the goads. Or like trying to pull a tractor up a hill by yourself. You wear yourself out and see no fruit for your labor and then you do question whether it's smart to keep pulling on the tractor.
It's kind of like some friendships I've been in where the other person is doing a whole lot of taking while doing very little giving. That can be a bit exhausting, you know? Reciprocation is so much more energizing.
Thankfully, we are currently in a church where the community is excellent and where there are lots of people who are anxious to lighten each other's burdens and I wish there was a way to bottle that up and give it to every church!
I appreciate your thoughts but wanted to clarify that we were extremely involved at the time. We (along with our best friends) were running the youth group. We had been working with the youth in our local city that came from very broken, unstable families that needed people to come along side them, all four of us driving them to our church's youth group a few cities over. We also worked with the youth that were members of the church. In addition, my husband was one of the worship leaders and I was a treasurer. We had been attending a small group/bible study when this happened and were working hard to form relationships. I don't say this to brag or boast, just wanted to say that we were involved and trying to give of ourselves as well.
I do have an expectation that Christians do their best to come along side others in need. I have an expectation that I do as well. I do not expect people to "get" exactly what I'm going through. That is unrealistic and unfair.
Oh and one other thing to clarify.....we did NOT have an expectation that the youth reciprocate and help us with our trials.
That was a great post Kristen. Sometimes I do have to remind myself that things could be a lot worse and to count my blessings too!
Hi Kristen - I could write a book in reply to this (this theme regularly appears in my blogging) rather than a few lines in a comment. But I'll be succinct. If I don't look on the 'bright side' where do I look? And what does that achieve? Diddly squat (which I have just discovered is a US term not British as I thought - I'm such a language geek :)). As a family we faced our hardest challenge last year and by looking on the bright side not only was there a much more favourable outcome (IMO) but we also didn't depress ourselves and others while it was in progress. Bring on the bright side!
Thank you for this post 😀 I do really love hearing your perspectives on life and such! Sometimes you give a well-timed reminder to take a closer look at my life, and that check-in with myself is exactly what I need!
I need this type of reminder now and then. I'm about midway between optimist and pessimist most of the time, but I'm married to a pessimist, and it can be so wearing that I end up negative with him. I have to be very deliberate in staying positive at those times.
I started, at a very difficult point in my life, telling God that I will be thankful in all circumstances, and even though I may still hurt, I can manage so much better as I think of the those things to be thankful for. Because I really do have many things to be thankful and happy about.
It is hard to show happiness among grumpy people. Everyone deals with tragedy different. I hate being around gloomy people for the sake that they may bring me down.
I politely excuse myself from the room and find a happier place to be.
I'm finding this a struggle since my sister died two weeks ago today. Everything seems so pointless now, although I struggle on with everyday doings, but my heart's just not in it. This has also invaded my dreams at night, and I'm not usually one to have weird dreams or remember much about dreams at all. It just seems as though nothing will ever be the same, plus facing my own mortality is about as fun as a stick in the eye; and seeing my parents' pain over her death has been so wrenching, I honestly can hardly stand it. My overwhelming feeling about the whole situation is complete, total and utter sadness FOR MY SISTER . I can deal with it from the viewpoint of my own loss, it's hard, really hard, but I just cry for what SHE's missed and will miss. She was only (a very-young type) 60. She left young grandchildren. She was a professional quilting teacher and published author. The whole family was proud of the service we planned for her. Beatles music, a heartwarming slide presentation, quilts featured prominently, etc. but no one knew the churning in my brain, knowing how creeped out she would've been over the casket choice, the gravesite location, choosing her dress to wear, etc. and I couldn't do a thing to change the reality of any of it.
Aww, Sandy. I am so sorry. 🙁 I wish I could give you a big hug in person. I don't think you should feel the teensiest bit bad about feeling really, really sad about the loss of your sister. It's a real, significant loss, and it is 100% natural and ok to feel broken-hearted.
Sending as much love to you as is possible over the internet. <3
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss...and hers.
Thank you both so much
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't think there is a bright side right now! With great love comes great loss. I pray for peace for you and your family until you meet your sister again,
I am so sorry that your sister is no longer here. It is a huge hole and it takes time to process such a loss. Be kind to yourself. It is natural to be all over the place through such an experience. My brother chose to die at 32 and left 2 youngsters. It has taken an eternity to heal and some days the walls still crumble. I will pray for you.
I'm worried about my parents, at 80 and 83, who would've thought they'd be facing this? They are so depressed, my dad's health isn't great anyway, and I just don't know what to do for them. Thank you for your wonderful, kind words.
Thanks so much for sharing!
I am often told that my attitude is great when I respond that I am blessed. I have breast and bone cancer and they recently discovered lesions in my brain. Having cancer puts all things into perspective VERY quickly! Everyone -no matter how big the house,what kind of car or how much money you make has problems.
Life is not always what we wish but your attitude - your grace - helps you on the journey.
I am so sorry to hear about the lesions. And I'm impressed by your perky attitude about it all! I hope I will have that same kind of grace if I have to go through something similar in my own life.
My Grandmother had two sayings that have stuck with me throughout my life:
Stay mad or get over it, those are the choices.
Choose to find the good or the bad will overcome your life.
They work for most any situation!
Thank you for giving us tips on when to share our optimism w/ others. It has taken me a looooong time to understand that sometimes its best to just be a good listener:)
Wonderful post, Kristen! It gives me lots to think about -- and I forwarded it to my 3 grown kids in NYC, Sweden and Japan. Risky move, but too too good not to share!
Thanks for this post. I needed the reminder today.
Wow after many years in a horrible marriage, depression, two children on the autistic spectrum (not badly and I am thankful) and pain I try desperately to think of the positives. It doesn't always help but there is always someone in a worse pickle. Some days are days when I float and sleep and when the bad stuff eases I try to be positive once again.
I send hugs and love to those who suffer. May some little sparkle of love, brightness or happiness come your way today.
My husband is proof that some folks are born with the contentment gene. Even when he had cancer, and later when I needed an operation that was so bungled it damaged my heart and lung and killed a kidney, which led us perilously close to bankruptcy, he would focus on the positive. I am naturally pessimistic so there were times I told him if he said one more positive thing I would poison his dinner, but overall it was helpful to be able to maintain some perspective. He gave me hope during some very dark days. But, still, it is sometimes hard to live with someone who is always sunny, grateful, and never says a bad word about anyone. (Which is why it is hard for him to manage our business, since he will not force payment out of people. There have been times I agreed that we should give someone a break because their life has blown apart, but I have no problem taking someone to small claims court over an unpaid bill)
Ok, that made me laugh...you telling him you'd poison his dinner if he couldn't stop being positive. Heh.
The poison his dinner line made me laugh out loud also. Haven't decided if I will read it outloud to my husband yet. But he and I both tend to be a bit on the pessimistic side. Those cheery morning exercise video hosts, just make me want to slap them. I don't do too well with someone who is very optimistic, but I so wish I was more optimistic.
I like your post.
I come from a family of pessimistics, so this kind of thinking gets ingrained.
I had to work really hard at seeing the bright side. And, at 35, I can say that I am getting there. I want my own kids to see all the possibilities, not just the problems.
Now I avoid pessimistic people like the plague (well, my mom is still in the portrait, but in small doses!). Pessimistics feed on other people's pain, and I will not feed that hunger. I'd rather feed the positive.
Keep doing what you do, Kristen!
Making Lemonade out of Lemons . . . which is how I think of it. Most of my friends exhibit positive energy, likely why I'm attracted to them, and it is always a bit of a shocker to find myself in the midst of someone's negative energy/outlook on occasion. I generally flee the scene, I'll confess, as I simply can't tolerate it*.
A big upcoming case in point is that my beloved grandbaby's parents will soon be relocating many thousands of miles away. Instead of focusing negative energy on how much we will miss not being an easy drive away, we are determined to focus our energy instead on how wonderful it will be to do short term rentals in their new location for weeks/months at a time, and get to enjoy more time with her overall, plus get to know a new-to-us part of the country.
(*Not to be confused with true pain. True pain is a different story, and I certainly don't flee the scene when that's going on in someone's life I care about.)
THANK YOU for sharing your story and picture of your fourth pregnancy! It really brightened my week, as I'm 14 weeks along in my 4th pregnancy (which I wasn't expecting :)! ) and have had the hardest two months. Not only has my state decided that Zofran is no longer safe during pregnancy (the only way I got through my others; I took it all 9 months!), but we've had the flu and colds/coughs the past three weeks, and I'm a first-time homeschool mom with 3 little ones. Thanks for encouraging me to keep looking at the many blessings that I can be grateful for, esp the fact that my sickness does have an end in sight!
Oh man, lots of sympathy to you. I do not know what I'd have done without Zofran, esp. during my last two pregnancies. I would have been in the hospital for sure!
I hope that your sickness lets up especially early for you this time around.
This is a great post, Kristen. I'm sorry that we don't get to chat more (I always enjoy when we can), and I <3 you.
Same, same! Love back at you!
I wish I had a friend like you in real life. I love reading your posts!
I,for one, am grateful for posts like yours and your optimistic outlook. I am one of the "sees the bright side" people and yes, we take some grief over it..and who cares? Don't the negative, worried people of the world ever wonder what I think of THEM!!!??
I don't enjoy being around people who are always looking at what's "wrong" or what isn't perfect. How tedious.
Now, as you and I know, being an OPTIMIST doesn't mean that we don't know that bad things happen.We simply choose to focus on the good, most of the time, and when the kaka hits the fan,well,we deal with it as necessary, like everyone else. We just have a LOT MORE HAPPIER TIMES IN BETWEEN, we are not sitting around waiting for an ax to fall!!
Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the most important practices I do. I think they should teach it in school (actually,I believe in keeping kids OUT of school and teaching them at home!!)
Thanks again for your outlook, your posts and sharing your energy with us folks out here!!
I came across this post at the exact time I needed to read something like this. Things have not gone well with the selling of our house and I am also 7 months pregnant dealing with more stress than I would have liked at this point. Staying positive and having an attitude of gratitude is definitely helping.
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that! I hope things look up for you.
Good for you for looking at the bright side of things, though.
So true and such a good post. When I was in high school, I had a lot of health problems, and my mom challenged me to start writing down all the little blessings I saw in every day no matter how small. I stopped writing them down after high school, but the habit carried on without me realizing it. When my daughter had her bone marrow transplant 5 years ago, somebody commented that I always found something to be thankful for in my Facebook posts, no matter how hard the day had been. I hadn't even realized I was looking for the bright side in each day (hey, her fever didn't get as high today as it did yesterday!) until someone brought it up. To this day, I find myself still looking for the bright side in each day. I'm not perfect, and I definitely struggle sometimes to see it, but I'm so thankful my mom made me start that habit 25 years ago!