If you're frugal, you don't need to earn as much as everyone else.
This isn't a very deep thought, to be sure, but it's something I've pondered off and on over the years.
While I think it's totally fine (and often advisable) to try to earn more money, living a frugal, simple life can put you in a position where you don't need to maximize your earning capabilities.
Why is this useful?
A few personal examples might be helpful.
- When I was engaged/newly married, I worked in a large national department store in a mall. We got paid a fair hourly rate but then earned commission on top of that if we sold a certain amount. Some of my co-workers used less-than-fabulous methods to encourage customers to buy things (like telling lies), and I'm sure they earned more money than I did. But because I managed my money carefully, my financial state was probably just as good or better than my co-workers' and my conscience was clear.
- When I quit at the department store, it was so that I could transition into just teaching piano lessons (I was doing a combo before). If you've looked into music lessons, you know they don't come cheap. I've always wanted to make quality lessons available to families who couldn't otherwise afford them, though, so over my 20 years of teaching, I've charged a price that's consistently lower than the going rate. A number of people have thought this was crazy, and from a purely financial standpoint, it was. But I was able to teach music to a lot of kids who might not have had access to piano lessons otherwise, and our frugal lifestyle allowed us to do this and still stay in good financial shape.
- Frugal living has also made it possible for me to work part-time throughout our marriage. This has made daycare unnecessary, homeschooling a reality, and also given me sufficient time to serve at church and keep up on work around the house.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this:
To a person who spends money willy-nilly, $50 isn't a lot of money.
But if you know how to stretch a dollar, $50 is nothing to sneeze at. It could buy quite a few groceries, a lot of thrifted or clearanced clothing, or even a wooden bed.
So when other people are saying, "I just don't know how a family could possibly live on $xx,xxx a year!", a frugal family could be thriving on that amount.
Naturally, if you have an opportunity to earn more money without compromising any of your important priorities, I think you'd be sort of crazy not to take it.
But when you're faced with income-increasing situations that would cause you to compromise your priorities, frugal living can give you the freedom to say no.
And that's pretty valuable.
I stayed at home and farmed with my husband so that I could raise our three daughters and we had to live frugally (very cheerfully I might add) and now that our three daughters are grown neither they nor I could think of anything we did without that would have been worth me working at the time. They all three went to college and have goo jobs. I even chose to go to nursing school after they were grown and am enjoying my career at 52 years young with no regrets!!
I think of this quite often myself. I work part time and mostly from home. This has allowed me to be the kind of parent and wife that I want to be. It has made our home a real home and not a way station. Someone at my husbands work said, " Now that both of your kids are in school, you need to get your wife working." REALLY??? I'm running a household, tending a good size garden, that I preserve in every way possible and parenting 2 kids, but I need to work, what I'm doing isn't work? Obviously this man has never had children, so he had no idea. I feel a freedom that I am not tied to this mad hustle and bustle that most people call their lives. Because I stay home and am frugal we can really live on an annual salary that most people waste on expendibles each year. I know we have chosen the best way for our family and our sanity. I am able to give my family the gift of my time and attention, which is worth so much more than money.
Grrrr! Running the house isn't just A job, it's about a dozen, thank you very much! Oooh, that gripes me -- At home parents work tons, at a job that is so important! Kudos to you!
I think of this quite often myself. I work part time and mostly from home. This has allowed me to be the kind of parent and wife that I want to be. It has made our home a real home and not a way station. Someone at my husbands work said, " Now that both of your kids are in school, you need to get your wife working." REALLY??? I'm running a household, tending a good size garden, that I preserve in every way possible and parenting 2 kids, but I need to work, what I'm doing isn't work? Obviously this man has never had children, so he had no idea. I feel a freedom that I am not tied to this mad hustle and bustle that most people call their lives. Because I stay home and am frugal we can really live on an annual salary that most people waste on expendibles each year. I know we have chosen the best way for our family and our sanity. I am able to give my family the gift of my time and attention, which is worth so much more than money.
My husband is an RN and a case manager at a hospital. He works with other women who have this job as a secondary income. He often tells me how they just blow money and their thought process on money. He feels like they have no clue how to understand that his income, the same as theirs which is "extra" is our sole source of income. We live on it just fine because of living frugally and it is a choice we made. But most of his coworkers, who earn this same amount as secondary income, complain of hardly getting by and not being able to pay the bills. Clearly it is all about your perspective. I do not feel we do without. Even though our only income is the same as their "extra" income we seem to be doing better because of frugal living and our priorities are just a bit different. I wouldn't change anything and completely agree with your post. Thanks.
This post really struck me. I have a profession (librarian) and worked outside the home until my husband was able to secure good, stable work, but since our son was 18 months old, I have been able to stay home with him. This allows me to volunteer (and be known) at his school, take care of our home, and do all the things it is impossible to do when working full-time. This year I had a health crisis and while working would be possible, I am certainly glad we are frugal and not used to the extra income, so I can focus on getting well. I am also thankful for all the time I have been able to spend with my family. Eventually, I would like to go back to a job, but for now, my job is home and I take it seriously (my budgeting allows for us to live on one salary quite nicely). We may not have all the things people want, but we have all we need and lots of memories as well.
My husband and I when our little boy was born decide to work flex/swing shifts so one of us could be at home with him. It was difficult at time, but each of us got to spend quality time with our son, and we still had time for family time and spouse time. However, since doing this, my hours have been cut to ~50-75%... and talk about hardship at first. We muddled through and I don't think I would go back to full time if I could. Granted the $$ would be nice, but what is nicer is having time to swim with our son, play legos, read, etc Along with having a large garden, freezing/canning, sewing, baking... I don't think they could pay me enough to give that up! Nice blog today.
This is so true. Sometimes I think women who stay home and work at homemaking as if it were an outside job end up better off financially than women who work elsewhere and don't have time or energy to do all the frugal little things. Of course it depends a lot on the individual situation.
I'd rather make more money, frugal or not! Just because I may need less doesn't mean that I should earn less than people doing the same job.
I think you might be missing my point. I'm not against earning more money or earning a fair wage for your work. But when you're in a situation where earning more would cause you to compromise your values or would make you unable to give to other people (I'd file inexpensive piano teaching under that heading), frugality lets you be free from the pressure to earn more and more.
I hope that clarifies things a bit.
I read an article somewhere that stated in the 50s the average worker made $5000 which is equivalent to about $25,000 today. In today's society you can almost double that since a majority of household are two incomes. What is the difference? Why could single worker families in 1950 make it but double income families today can't. Not to sound over simplistic but I believe it is how we spend today. Back then houses were only 1000 square feet where as today the average is almost doubled. They only had one car and tv. Today we have multiples of both. Bottom line, a bigger house costs more to heat/cool and maintain. Multiple cars cost more to insure and maintain. Just common sense! Frugal living means less stress and more free time!
People also didn't eat out as much--eating out was a treat. No cell phone plans. No expensive electronic devices. Kids weren't overscheduled with 4 or 5 expensive activities--they played outside and got involved in pickup ganes of ball, etc., for exercise. Kids had a few toys that they kept in their rooms (not in a special play room) and they were content with that. Most guys could work on their own cars, which had much simpler engines.
Unfortunately, that world is gone.
Back in the 1950's people also had less choice of what to buy. There was only one type of TV available, one type of radio, three automobile manufacturers. There were no computers, Sony playstations, iPods and other electronic devices, cell phone, stereo systems, WiFi and the list goes on and on and on. One or two hairstyles, little choice in cosmetics, clothing styles......see what I mean? Vacations via airplane was unthinkable. Vacations back then meant a hop in the car and a long ride to a relatives home.
With less to buy, your money went further. Bread was only ten cents a loaf, eggs were a quarter, same with milk and other necessities. My parents bought a home in the 1950's for $7,000. Today, that exact same home is worth $1.25 million.
You just can't compare the two.
If you want to live today with just the simple basics, you're gonna have to put in some long working hours and yes.......live frugally.
Life is a lot different today than it used to be, but people as a whole have a lot more discretionary money than they did even when I was a little girl 30 something years ago. Things cost less then, but people made less, too. It seems like the biggest change has been in what people think that they have to have to live. If we cut out or cut back on WiFi, game systems, cell phone plans, fancy gadgets, huge TV's, entertainment, expensive vacations, expensive clothes, frequent eating out, etc, etc, it wouldn't necessarily require more working hours, but we would find that we could stretch our dollar further. It is possible to live today with more of the mindset of our forefathers and less of the mindset of the present generation. Life won't be the same as in past generations, of course, but the thinking that governs our decisions will be.
Hear, hear!!
When my niece and her husband bought a house, their first expense was a large screen TV. They needed new windows, but it was 3-4 years before they got them.
What people call "needs" today are really "wants-to-keep-up-with-the-Jonses".
I am not getting your comment. The things you describe (electronic devices and airplane travel) are not simple basics. Actually, food costs relative to income have gone way down since the 1950s. If you don't live in a major urban area, homes are pretty inexpensive. I am a single mom making about $20k in a small midwestern town who doesn't get government benefits like food stamps and we are thriving. I just bought a really nice three bedroom home in a great neighborhood for $80k. I think we actually have it a lot nicer than people in the 1950s we are just used to more. My mom, who grew up in the 1950s in a middle class home, describes getting a skirt and some socks for Christmas, and that was about it! Her family went car camping in the middle of nowhere for vacation. They watered down ketchup and ate hot dog sandwiches. Dinner out was an annual trip to an "exotic" Chinese restaurant. People could live a 1950s lifestyle pretty easily today, we just don't even know what that really looks like.
(Warning: gross generalizations ahead, used for rhetorical and space-saving effect.)
Anything that is labor-based is more expensive now, after adjusting for inflation, than it was a generation ago.
This includes educational expenses. Adjusted for inflation, a year at a fancy private grade school in a large city (even NYC or SF) cost the same as a year at my fancy private university - but at college I got room and board as well as tuition. Medical costs were much lower too, partly because there was less medicine to adminster. We have many more options now.
One big reason for this is the loss of two labors pools of people with artificially depressed income. One group is minorities, who were paid pittances for manual and personal labor. The other is women, who used to have very few careers open to them. Smart or ambitious women used to become nurses, teachers, and secretaries; now they can become doctors, professors, and business execs.
I can really relate to this right now. I'm working part time from home so I can be here while my children are small. In order to do this and still save, we had to change our lifestyle. I wish I had done it earlier, but hindsight is 20/20 right? I'm currently looking for ways to be even more frugal so we can start working on purchasing our land in the mountains for retirement.
Your point about being able to give te service of affordable music lessons makes me think of something I always come back to, which is if you save big, you can give big. I like the idea that by curtailing my wants I can contribute to others needs.
Well said!
I totally agree, Shannon. I love giving. To maximize my giving power (some people talk about spending power. . . I think giving power is much more awesome), I live frugally.
I get made fun of for being cheap, and sometimes, I get called crazy for being too generous. But it works for me 😉
I totally agree with you. My husband worked as a mortgage broker early in our marriage and he just didn't make much money because to make a lot of money, he would have had to put people in a bad financial position and he just couldn't do it. He also worked at a Christian bookstore that required them to push the store's credit card to every customer. They had a quota to meet with the threat of being fired. We just couldn't believe that a Christian organization had a credit card, let alone a quota to meet. These kinds of jobs are just not worth it. The ability to lie down and sleep in peace, with a clear conscience is much more valuable than anything ill gotten money could ever buy.
This is so true! We always hear co-workers complaining about wanting a raise, etc..But they have brand new vehicles, iPhones, eat lunch and supper out everyday, and so on. Guess some people just have a different way of looking at things. Glad we're not so caught up on material things!
My husband and I have been married for 25 years. While we didn't choose to have a small income in our early years, it is what we had. And by managing our money well, we were able to afford me to stay home with our kids, and still save a substantial amount of money to put down on a house. Continuing with our frugal lifestyle, further down the road, we paid off our mortgage early and now own our home free and clear. We still make frugal choices, so that our money can do more for us, and I anticipate we will continue this way into retirement, not out of need but out of choice.
And the bonus, our children, having taken part in, or witnessed, many of our financial choices, have a much better understanding of how to be good stewards of their own money someday.
Lili, this is so resonating with me. Our kids are younger, but my oldest, who is 10, has saved $200 through his allowance, lemonade sales, watching the neighbor's cat. When he was little, money burned a hole in his pocket. Today, he's been contemplating for months what big purchase he could make with his money. It's a lesson that, with one income and three kids, we've been trying to teach: No, we don't go out to eat three times a week for a mediocre meal like lots of families, and we do it so that you kids can go to college without taking on debt, or so that our house will be paid for in a few years, or so that when the job market gets shaky, we can still sleep at night. We don't do it because we can't; we do it because we see a bigger picture. I think showing by example how to be good financial stewards is critical. Your kids have absorbed so much just by witnessing how you've lived.
When my children were small, they'd blow through their chore money, too. I remember my son at age 7, doing as many of the chores off the list just so he could go to the store on Saturday and buy new Lego sets.
But now, he has fully ingested my husband's and my financial awareness. My son is now 24, he's been working at Amazon for 2 years now. But he can see that down the road he really wants to have his own project/company. We had this discussion 3 nights ago, he and I, about his choices for how he wants to spend his life. I reminded him that he doesn't need the high-paying career many of his peers will need to pay for their expensive habits. My son is resourcefully frugal. He's already saving for his next step. When he reaches that point, where working at A is no longer satisfying, he'll be prepared to step out on his own. And to see the smile on his face was priceless to me, when he said he feels lucky to have grown up with frugal parents, because he has so many more choices in life than most of his peers!
Great Blog today! I think you are a great example of someone who "walks the talk" by being a great mom, wife and giving outside of the home to others. That said, it is not without sacrifice and good planning on your part. I am a grandmother and remember and in my younger years and old man made a comment. This comment has resonated with me many times since then. Take it for what it is worth. "It isn't the high cost of living, it is the cost of living high." It has helped me keep my "wants" in perspective at times.
So true, it didn't matter how much money I made before I learned how to manage it., there never would have been enough.
THIS is so true. I've just lost my full-time job and will be teaching adjunct next year. Even while working full-time, it has never felt like we have had enough money. I was freaked by going part-time, but after three weeks of working on this, my husband and I can see the benefits of going part-time in many ways, and I'm actually excited about heading into a less consumptive lifestyle. When I lost my job, I was paralyzed, but hubs said, "Look...we consume. We go out to eat. We buy things. We go on several vacations. We will just change those things and we'll be fine." What?? That was a wake-up call to me, as I'd taken all of those things for granted while telling myself I'm frugal and non-consumptive. Losing my job was EXACTLY what needed to happen for me. I love this post and the subsequent comments, as they further help me develop my philosophy and ponder, "What do I want my life to look like?"
When you talked about offering lower cost piano lessons to help others that might not have afforded it reminded me of this verse:
Isaiah 58: 10-11: 'If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry & satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness and your night will become like noonday. The Lord will guide you always, he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land & will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail'.
You're doing a good thing - you go girl! 🙂
I'm sure you read it, but did you see Money Saving Mom's post today about if being frugal is worth it? It goes right along with this one!
http://moneysavingmom.com/2012/06/is-frugality-really-worth-it.html
I know for my family, we are going into foreign missions and will need to raise support money. The more money we choose to live off of, the more time we'll need to spend raising that money and the longer it'll take us to get to the foreign mission field, so we want to be able to live off of less. Thanks for the great post!
Another reader sent that to me this morning too...so funny. I schedule my posts the night before, so we definitely didn't coordinate this. 🙂
You are truly an amazing individual to offer affordable piano lessons. Frugality is a way of life.......
Like many of your readers, I chose to stay home and raise my own children and live frugally . Those skills are serving me now that my husband and I are looking at retirement. I did not want a big career in the crazy hectic world..I wanted to enjoy making a home and raising my kids. . I wanted TIME to spend with and ON family, time with friends,time to read, to garden, to nap,even!!
I can't agree with anyone who argues it can't be done in today's world. It is a conscious choice. I guess it takes "sacrifice" but I never felt like that,really, I felt VERY HAPPY just to be home! Here's how we did it:
I cooked all our meals, and we ate a lot of beans, brown rice and home grown vegetables (I had time to tend a large garden!) We ate out at a cheap chinese restaurant maybe once a month,just the two of us, date night. Snacks were air popped corn and homemade iced teas, never soda pop or candy or chips.
We had ONE (older) car. I took my husband to work one day a week,kept the car and did all my errands and grocery shopping.
I did not shop hardly ever.I had a very small "wardrobe" consisting of jeans, tee shorts and a few blouses. I think I owned three dresses for "special occasions." Our furniture was almost all hand me downs and thrift store items I fixed up.
We raised our son without TV! We did not all have cell phones or "calling plans" just a land line. No computers or printers or gadgets. No cable tv bills.
We lived in a smaller town where I could walk my son to the library, the lake, the park, for our recreation. We also simply enjoyed our own backyard OFTEN!
I encouraged my son to "go out and play--" the older neighborhood boys (age 10 and 11) taught him how to fish in the local lake when he was 7 (yes, real fish hooks with no adults present, kinds LEARNED HOW TO SURVIVE IN THOSE DAYS!) He rode his bike all over and I never worried about him getting kidnapped!! I knew my neighbors! We watched out for one another!
We got together often with friends and neighbors for pot lucks, game nights, and picnics.
We shared spiritual pursuits as a family.
We camped or went to "the shore" for vacations (In New Jersey you go the shore, not the beach!) Some years we DID NOT TAKE A VACATION! We just drove to the beach for a day trip, a few times.
Traded babysitting with friends,never paid for it!
I guess I developed an attitude of simplicity in those days, and felt that a frugal life was a great trade for a life of freedom, and involvement in a real home and getting to be close to my kids.
I don't deny that some women feel a career urge and should pursue that. And of course I respect single working moms like crazy.
But if you are in a relationship, WANT to be a homemaker and a stay at home mom, and live on one income, it is almost always possible.
The REWARDS are... immeasureable!
Madeline, what a lovely glimpse into a simple family life. Enjoyed that!
I really like this post. Our culture so inundates us with the mindset that we have to have so much more than we really do. We do have a choice, but sometimes we convince ourselves that we don't. Sometimes it's hard to be content in a world that is constantly telling us that we need so much to be happy.
Very well said,Frugal Girl.
Excellent post, FG! I really appreciate your well-thought-out ideas about frugality - it's good to hear them today. Even though I don't have children or a family to support, being frugal allows me to enjoy life to it's fullest.
"...frugal living can give you the freedom to say no."
This line goes straight to my heart. My company is about to implement a system that is capable of tracking my every move around the clock. I am experiencing extremely high anxiety in anticipation of this rollout, as they are not being forthcoming with details. It gives me great peace of mind to know that I have a large EF and the power to refuse this total invasion of my privacy.
The thought of depleting my EF gives me the heebie-jeebies, but it's a much more manageable form of stress. I will go into the training next month with as open a mind as I can manage, aided in no small measure by the little yellow "Get Out of Jail Free" Card in my pocket. Thanks for this post today, Kristen. You have no idea how much this reminder has helped me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Eeee Gads! Is that for real? Sound rather like some Orwellian Big Brother horror movie to me. I am shaking my head in total disbelief and dismay.
Yes, sadly it's for "real". It's an iPad based program called "Navigator". If anyone has experience with it, I'd appreciate your feedback. I'd love to be convinced that my fears are unfounded.
Well, I fear I'm not the person to assuage your trepidation, as I won't even own a phone that has a GPS in it - I have an ancient pre-paid phone that stays off unless I need it for an emergency. I boycott FaceBook, Twitter and all these other thinly veiled "stalking sites."
I dunno, perhaps my views are extreme, but I'm just appalled by the privacy invasions that we're all just expected to accept these days. In my opinion a job that allows your boss to track you 24/7 isn't employment, it's indentured servitude.
Good luck with it all!
-Cat
Do you still teach piano lessons? I know the rates can vary from place to place...what's the "going rate" in your area?
I teach as well...and have for years...my rates started at 8$ for 20 mns in 1985 and now I charge 20$ for 30 mns in 2012. However in my area they run as high as 25-30 for a half hour lesson.
I love the idea that I am sharing the opportunity to learn with children who might otherwise be unable to afford lessons.
I also give a discount (15$ per lesson) for any additional siblings or parents under the same roof...this saves me gas and time because I teach AT my students homes and in one case I teach Grandma, little boy and little girl all in the same house!! love it 🙂
Very true Kristen!! I am also a live example of this. When most of my friends/co-workers/relatives keep changing jobs to get good hike, and then spend the 'good hike' in malls, fine dine and shopping, we have kept our lifestyle frugal , and you know what, we are owning a house and a car with minimum mortgage (Just 15% of our household income), no credit card or personal loan.. I am working from home , I got this privilege as I am loyal and long time employee of the company and taking care of my home, raise my daughter and cook most of meals by scratch..
One of my favorite quotes is "If you can spend less on the things that you have to, you'll have more to spend on the things you want to." As for me, one thing I love is great looking, well-fitting clothes...so, every time I am tempted to go to Wal-Mart to buy some new cheapie thingie, I put the money I would have spent on it into an envelope. Instead of buying something that will look horrible after ten washes, I let that money accumulate and I watch for the next big sale at Chico's or the like. I have a small wardrobe, but I love every item I have because I also know that I had to save three months for this top, or two for those pants.
A dinner out is so much more enjoyable when I can look back at my list and see that I cut $10 out of my electric bill this month, found a way to save $15 on groceries this week by making something myself, or the like. If I don't save money in any given month...no dinner out during the last week!
Frugality can be fun and rewarding! Blessings, BJ.
I like that you find ways to be frugal and still go out to eat and buy the clothes you love!
Timely, timely post for me. I am a dog groomer in a large animal clinic. I have been there for 16 years and have a large clientele, which, by the way, is my clientele, not the clinic's. I am wanting to move my whole operation home, two miles from the clinic, (where I also groom family/ friends/ neighbor's dogs). I have a large dedicated grooming area at home. My reasons are twofold: my hands are worn out from grooming for so many years, and I need to be able to groom less dogs per day, and the only way I can afford to do so is to earn all the money myself, not just the commission I earn now. I feel fairly confident that most of my regular clients will follow me.
Now, here's my reason for saying this is a timely topic. I charge a certain amount for each dog now, and I plan to reduce that amount when I groom from home. The clients who follow me from the clinic to home will have a reduction in their grooming fee.(my current home clients already are charged less.) Now, I could easily charge the same fee, they'd never know the difference, but is that fair? I get paid a commission on that fee now, but at home, I would get it all, so I am thinking I will reduce the fee, not only to be fair, but as incentive to stay with me. For various reasons that aren't relevant to my leaving, I doubt that the clinic will hire another groomer immediately, if at all.
Am I crazy? I mean, I WILL still have to pay taxes, etc and my electricity and water bills will rise somewhat (I am hoping to do only three dogs per day, three days a week, so hopefully the utilities won't be that much of an issue.)
The reduction in the average fee will be about $8 per dog.
I really like this post. my husband and I make a good living, but I am very careful to not make the same mistakes my parents did, which leads me to wanting to save a lot so that we can retire when we want and not when our bills dictate. it takes some sacrifice now, but not too much. As with you, we still do all the things that are really important to us (like travel) and cut back on the things we don't really care about. I'll have to get back to you in 30 yrs to let you know if it worked, but so far, so good!
Yes. Amen. We have also found that there is freedom in less and that you can give more. Kudos to you for your reduced prices with piano lessons. Music is such a gift and you don't know whose life you have touched through your lessons.
Working a few hours a week allows me to be the wife and mom I want to be. I can serve at church. I can volunteer at school to work on reading skills with children. My husband can work reasonable hours and be the den leader for our son's scouting troop. Life is short. How do I want to spend it?
You speak the truth!
Sing it Sister!!! I have been a total frugal fanatic my entire adult life, and it has allowed me to enjoy incredible freedoms that most of my friends can only dream about. The closest I ever came to a "real job" was running a non-profit music school, and even though I got paid WAY less than most working adults, I was still able to save enough money to retire at age 39. That was 6 years ago I haven't touched my savings... in fact I've added to it. I now support myself fully through a few odds and ends that I do at home and thoroughly enjoy.
At my retirement party, I found out that most of the people I worked with assumed that I was a "trust fund baby" because I made so little money over the years, and because I just never stressed about getting paid. It still cracks me up to think about it!
I was reading a blog the other day about a couple who are both in their 60's and still struggling to try to pay off their student loans so that they can retire someday. It made me so sad that I just wanted to cry.
It seems to me that the most valuable thing any of us has is our time, and I've just never understood why people are so willing to give up that precious commodity simply so they can have more stuff.
I know how that happens, because that has been me... I am 41, single mom, no money for retirement, but I am changing that... Now!
I do want to know how to live with less, becuase all the money I make, I spend it. And that changes, right now!
I am done with selling my time and freedom like this. I feel I will puke each time I go into that office.
I just need to find confidence in my self that I can indeed make money outside being on payroll, others do it, right?
There is a universal rule of creation that goes like this...Be-Do-Have. Our economy sells us Have-Do-Be. There is a really big difference.
With Have-Do-Be, we are tricked into thinking that if we Have something (money, stuff, etc.)-then we will Do what we like and then Be (happy, liked, popular). Trouble is, this model creates a kind of tolerance--in that to keep the cycle going, you must Have more-Do more- to even be consistant in the Be part (never mind that when tolerance goes up, reward goes down. Think of any substance use--that's tolerance.)
But really--here's the true way it works. First--you must Be. Frugal Mom has this one down pat. She decides what she wants to be- happy, grateful, accomplished, whatever feeling she decides. Sometimes we don't even know how to decide how to feel! We've been taught in our consumer oriented society to worry about the Have too soon. That just gets us going in the wrong direction.
Back to our beloved FG. In this example, FG decides what she wants to Be and then she Does what it takes to put that feeling into action. So for happy, she does things that create more happiness for the family--they zipline, they walk, swim, laugh, ect. (We enjoy the stories of her Doing, don't we??)
The Doing part can't be left out--for it is in the Doing that the Be and Have come together. And when you Be (happy) and Do (happy, fun things) then you Have happiness. Tra La! So simple, really!
It's easy to figure out if you are Doing and Being and Having what you want. When they don't line up, you'll know, right? If you really think about it, you can make adjustments to any of the Being and Doing aspects--and soon you will Have exactly what you want! So many of Frugal Girl's fellow bloggers and fans are living this RIGHT NOW--and isn't it just wonderful??
love this philosophy!
I love this! The ability to work part time and have time with your family is why I went to pharmacy school! I hope it works out! I'm sure it will if we are able to live frugally. I've definitely got a long ways to go toward that..... but at least I have Dave Ramsey's books and ideas to get my husband and me started. For now, though, this is very inspiring. 🙂
**one of the reasons why
DH currently earns $10,000 less per year than I did my first year out of college. I was able to support myself, tithe, and travel to Europe for a week that year, but I barely saved anything, I lived in a 1-BR apartment, and a lot of my money went towards traveling for a long-distance relationship, eating out, and splurging on clothes (I'm not really a clothes horse, but was under the impression that I needed to have an expensive wardrobe to succeed at my job - a false impression).
DH supports himself, me, and our two kids on an income that many people would say couldn't support a single man because of our frugality. He's still saving for retirement.
Amen to that!
Hahaha! I laughed at the $50 comparison because I just sold some old books online for almost $50 and have been trying to decide what to do with the money for over a week now. To someone who spends frugally, $50 truly is a lot of money!
When our son was born, 15 years ago, my husband and I both had good jobs, we had a role reversal, and my husband stayed home with the kids (had an older child, and a younger daughter) but we decided that we didn't want strangers watching our kids and so the decision was made for him to stay home. He was vested with our company for a retirement, I still had three more years, BUT we have bought property and lived a very happy life on one income. I think people that live outside their means will have a rude awakening someday (sorry to sound like that), but have plenty of friends who have kids, work like crazy and never see those beautiful kids because they are trying to offer them the sun. Thanks for your posting.
I hope I never get to a place where $50 doesn't seem like a lot of money.
I really like that you said that $50 can seem like a lot of money, because sometimes I am sad that $50 IS a lot of money for us. We can't go to the mall and drop $50 on clothes...because we think through large purchases. I see friends spending $50 or more on stuff (or experiences, like going to a musical) and I feel sad that we can't do that, too. But when you look at it the way you have, then that $50 means so much more to me, and I'm glad it does, because I'm choosing to spend my money wisely, rather than impulsively.
Oh Megg,
You can see live theater free! Volunteer to usher and you will see free shows and make new friends, too. Also, my library lets you check out passes to local museums and attractions. One of my frugal friends and I went to a museum with free passes. She enjoyed it so much she volunteers there now and gets in free any time she wants.
Megg
I know/feel exactly the same way sometimes. It does get frustrating/depressing on occasion, but remember, know one truly knows the other's finances. They might be dropping $50-100 on movies out or clothes like my in-laws did, but they went over a year without any basic health insurance. To me, peace of mind usually trumps jealousy or frustration every time! Just keep your chin up, and appreciate your wisdom on money usage! 🙂
I LOVE this post! It was such an encouragement to me. I also teach piano (and blog, of course), and sometimes I struggle with being content on our income level. But the truth is just as you said: living frugally has allowed us to live on less. I am blessed to be a SAHM, and I know a lot of people envy me for that. It means we live more frugally than most people in our area, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!
I love this post, this is exactly what I'm thinking...
I am a single mom and work outside home at a high pay job
I have not been good at managing my money but I'm changing that. While I make a lot of money, I spend a lot of money. At the price of my freedom and sanity.
So I am making changes. I moved to a small studio with my 4 year old. Which has dramatically reduce my housing costs.
Which in turn will allow me to get rid of debt.
I also see a lot of my spending is maximized by me working :
Eating out, gas, tolls and car maintenance, feeling like spending money on the kiddo in toys and activities because I don't see him during the day.
Feeling like I need a vacation.
Unable to take advantage of nice free activities because they happen during the day.
So, I'm watching where is the money going while I try to figure out other ways to make money which are not my current 8-5 job with a 45 min commute each day.
Now, if. Find the way to match what I do now, I will!
But I want my "needed" money to be little so I can switch sooner.
I have been cable free for a couple of years and I do a lot of raw and/or non processed foods. So this will not be a problem.
I think that entertainment and eating out expenses will not be needed if I worked less hours. Including the commute and lunch time I am out at work from 7am to 6pm at the very least!
Ok, ok, sorry for the rambling,one last thing, my main obstacle was peer pressure, but I have finally able to turn that off!
I loved this post! Resonated with me so much!
When I started my own business, a friend said every business decision I made what an opportunity to define what my business was all about. So I made sure every decision was in line with my values. I think our financial decisions are the same: an opportunity to define the kind of person you are. So I make sure every financial choice (including donating my time as a volunteer) is in line with my values, too.
My husband and I both work, but we're self employed, so we only work when our daughter is at school. One or both of us are there to take her and pick her up, and we're there to hang out after school. We can drive for field trips and be there for school events. This was a very easy decision to make (even though we could make twice as much with inflexible, full time jobs).
I loved your piano example - a great example of how your financial decisions and values are one thing!
It's been fairly eye-opening for me to live with an older sibling and her husband for the last six months. I'm generally pretty frugal, though I have my weaknesses like everyone else (a good ball of yarn or a stop at Starbucks are both my weak spots!). I've been unlucky in the job market and even between two jobs I can barely get together 20 hours a week, while they both work full time, and they're still coming to me to borrow money. Yes, I don't eat entirely from Whole Foods like them, have wine with every dinner, have as full of a closet or a gym membership, but I feel pretty content with most of my life and don't have the stress of constantly being on my last $20. I'd try to talk to them, but I think it's just make them defensive. Ah well...
I stumbled onto you're site one day while trying to find a recipe for yoghurt as my little 2yr old princess wanted yoghurt and I find that its expensive. Anyway I am so thankful for my stumble, this post in particular is why I keep on coming back to this site and even though I am Australian and I do not know about what Aldi is I get the general idea of the family life that you have. And it makes me feel better about my frugal ways that I am not the only one making this change. We used to squander our cash until we had our bub and now we are more thoughtful about what we spend it on and we have goals in place to work towards and being frugal, having a vegetable patch (something I'm working on) living on one income (because me being home is important to us) and reusing instead of adding to landfill (another thing I care about) just makes sense. I am so glad that you are here so that I can check in and see what other fantastic idea you had!!
Thank you...
My kids have a great piano teacher who charges less than the going rate. I asked about it once and her reply was about the same as yours. It has been such a blessing to us to have quality lessons we can afford. You can bet I make sure the kids practice diligently--I want their teacher to be happy to see them!
You know, I read this and I understand and I agree. If you spend less than you earn you can always come on top. We live with-in our means it's as easy as that. I have people ask how Mrs.CBB and I can live on $190 a month for groceries. We are doing it and the reason is because we are mindful of our shops, are cooking from scratch and we set a budget. For others who have to have this or that or convenience foods, or buys $15 steaks.. it blows their mind when they see the budget. Anyone can do it, you just have to think like a frugal person! Cheers Mr.CBB.. shared this on my FB page!