Skip to Content

You are doing everything wrong

Lately, I have noticed something. And since I’m a blogger, I’m gonna tell you about it. 😉

When I’m on the internet (social media specifically) I feel like I am hearing an incessant whisper in my ear that says, “You’re doing everything wrong.”

Someone wants to tell me why I shouldn’t eat animal products.

Someone wants to tell me why eating only animal products is what will solve my problems (Go full carnivore!)

I might be eating the right foods but I’m definitely doing it in the wrong order….you have to eat the fiber first, then the proteins, then the carbs. All your problems will be solved.

(Unless you make the error of choosing a food that contains fiber, protein, and carbs all in one. At that point, just throw the food out.)

I’m using the wrong shampoo.

I shouldn’t be using shampoo at all.

Green Maui Moisture shampoo.


I’m not using enough sunscreen.

No, wait, sunscreen is poison. We should just use beef tallow (I really have seen this.)

Marriage problems can be solved by dancing around in a dress, baking a cake, and pretending it’s the 1950s; tsk, tsk, why do people throw their marriages away so easily?

Kristen in jeans and a blue shirt.

I’m wearing the wrong clothes.

(cue the “Five Fashion Mistakes That Are Aging You” posts)

The clothing colors are also probably wrong.

makeup on a sink.

My makeup might be making me look older.

The way I’m doing eyeliner is so 3 years ago.

I should be doing facial yoga.

Kristen, making a twisted-up facial expression.

actually…I move my face so much, I think I might not need facial yoga!

I should be using a jade roller on my face.

I should be using a special straw to prevent wrinkles around my mouth.

I’m already too late to do preventative Botox. I’m screwed.

gray hair influencers.

I shouldn’t dye my gray hair. Be natural!

But also: I should color my hair because otherwise I am gonna look my age (which is the unforgivable sin, of course.)

Kristen with a gray streak.

I haven’t even gotten into all the wrong ways we parent, do friendships, decorate our houses, organize our homes, make our coffee, and who knows what else!

And then there’s politics. Good heavens.

Some days, I’m able to brush all of this off and move on. But I cannot lie: sometimes it makes me feel exhausted.

It’s so much noise, and even though all these people supposedly want to help me, it feels rather…unhelpful.

No one in history has had this much “help”

I know that “you’re doing it all wrong” advice has been around for a while in the form of books, magazines, newspapers, and TV programs.

1955 women's day magazine cover.

This issue is for sale right here, if you’d like some timeless diet advice

And this is particularly true for those marketed toward women.

But I don’t think at any point in the past we have had such a tidal wave of “helpful” noise hit us on a daily basis.

I mean, even newspapers generally only come out once a day!

I kind of wonder if this level of input is…not super good for us. At a minimum, I think it is not super good for me.

Am I part of the noise?

I have put out a prolific amount of content on the internet, so as I was mulling this whole issue over, I wondered if I have ever been part of the, “You’re doing it all wrong!” noise on the internet.

(I did write a, “Here are five reasons your homemade pizza is terrible” post one time, but that’s not usually my style. Ha.)

grilled pizza with fresh basil

But I do seriously wonder…how do you find a balance and put out helpful content that doesn’t also make people feel like you’ve judged them or tied a heavy burden on their backs?

Is this the responsibility of the content creator?

Or does the responsibility lie more on the consumer of the content, to process the onslaught of information in a healthy way (or to mindfully reduce the onslaught)?

I don’t know if I have a good answer to these questions, but I will keep thinking about them.

Less Consumption + a “good enough” attitude

I think part of the solution for me as a consumer is to, well, consume less.

So to that end, my phone is social media-free again.

A pink iphone with a happy camper sticker on the back.

(The browser version of social media is WAY less addicting because the navigation is so much clunkier. And I have to be at a computer to use it, so that automatically makes me consume less.)

Also, a standby for me is a “good enough is good enough” attitude. I don’t think we and our world are designed to need the seriously narrow range of acceptable behavior prescribed by social media.

For a lot of things in life, there is not just one right way/method, and we don’t need to do something perfectly to reap some benefits.

If I:

  • do some basic skincare (my go-to lotion)
  • move my body
  • wear some kind of sun protection
  • eat more fruits and vegetables
  • stay vaguely fashionable
  • try to show up in love wherever I go

…then I’m probably in just as good of shape as someone who is stressing themselves to death trying to follow all the helpful suggestions on the internet.

What do you think? Have you ever had this, “You’re doing everything wrong!” feeling?

And if you have, how are you combatting it?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Wednesday 12th of June 2024

Thank you for (1) this post and (2) all of the writing you share.

Actually, I think your style is the anecdote to what you're describing here. Reading your blog relaxes me. When I (again) feel like I don't know how to cook dinner for my family, I (again) read your posts and remind myself a dinner of X + Y + Z is done and done is better than perfect.

I don't want this to come across as a backhanded compliment, but in truth the simplicity, straight forwardness, and good enough attitude you bring to your life has been a gift to mine.


Wednesday 12th of June 2024

Haha, I didn't take offense to it. I'm actually really happy that I've inspired you to have a "good enough" approach!


Monday 10th of June 2024

As a retired journalism teacher, I remember studying advertising, a giant industry that is an American invention that has ballooned. One of the premises of ads is to make you dissatisfied with the status quo, in order to interest you and sell you a "solution." So, the ads tell us we are ugly so we need makeup; we are fat so we need diets; we are X and need Y at $$$$$. You are smart to turn off the faucet. Real needs come from our inner selves. You are beautiful; you look great; your clothes last longer than most; you are managing the difficult period of doubt that must follow the end of a long relationship, and very well, as far as I can tell. I used to love surprising my students by asking them to turn off the ads. Many were unable to do it and surprised when they started analyzing the ads at the obvious formulas and manipulation. You can make a conscious decision to fill your head with something better, and you have a head start. You go girl!

Social media have been infected with even more repetitive and powerful ads than TV used to have. I hope to protect myself from their poison, much of it computer generated and making absolutely no sense. I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I've fallen for stupid premises to follow a long series of entries in a "story" that is just ads, all the way. Time management is a challenge in retirement as social media is easy to fall into, but it really has little to offer when it is not connecting you with real people, or with a community such as you have built with your blog. Cheerfully, I almost always like the "before" pictures better than the "after" pictures in those fashion/makeup ads--I am too old to look like a clown, or a misguided teenager! So often, a clean face with healthy skin is much more comfy for me anyway. My DH and I have a running joke when we leave the house for any event: if our wits and our senses of humor are with us, we are dressed OK and won't pay attention to anyone who says otherwise.

Suellen Roley

Saturday 8th of June 2024

I figure if you're not living my life, why should I care about what you think I'm doing "wrong"

Chris b

Friday 7th of June 2024

Just like a tv program, all this noise, is to either sew discord among people, confuse, re program your thinking, sell products etc. So I do a fact check analysis....... Good topic. Food for thought. Thank you.


Thursday 6th of June 2024

Here’s where being a cynical coot is advantageous. My first instinct is to ask ~why~ these people are telling me this. The answer, of course, is to sell me something. I generally have no trouble ignoring the pitch. The golden method of marketing is to invent a need then fill it.

It’s people who really do have my interests at heart who need to win me over. This includes, ironically enough, blogs such as Kristen’s.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.