When frugality goes wrong (at an office supply store)
In my post about saving money on back-to-school supplies, I mentioned that I try to hit some of the super-duper cheap sales that office supply stores have...you can get notebooks for $0.10, binders for a penny, folders for a nickel, and so on.
Well, I made my way to one of those sales recently, and a guy in the checkout lane next to me had gathered up ALL of the penny deals for that week and was getting ready to pay for them.
But there was a little problem...the penny deals required an additional $5 purchase, and he either hadn't noticed that or had ignored it.
The cashier was doing an admirable job of trying to explain the rules to the customer, and the customer just got more and more upset. He said sarcastic, annoying things to the cashier (and to the manager, who had come out to help), and eventually, after they refused to change the rules for him, he left his stuff there and walked angrily out of the store.
I'm all for saving money and for taking advantage of the deals that stores offer, but there are a few things that bug me about this scenario.
- It's not right to try to save money by breaking a store's rules.
- $5 isn't an enormous price to pay for the privilege of getting a whole pile of items for a penny each.
- Being rude to employees is not the appropriate response, even if the employee is wrong.
I guess I think that if your commitment to saving money causes you to be rude and have a freak-out over $5, frugality is probably a little bit too important to you.
This post isn't really about that guy, though.
I want to talk about us.
Since all of us here are pretty devoted to frugality, we could be prone to this same sort of thing on some level. Saving money is a worthy goal, but when it becomes a virtue that trumps all other virtues, we get ourselves into trouble.
-We might become tempted to slip expired coupons to the cashier and send in multiple rebate forms.
-We might not be generous enough to help people in need.
-We might make our families miserable by keeping the thermostat super low in the winter or super high in the summer.
-We might yell at a kid who breaks something or ruins a piece of clothing (because replacing things costs money!)
How this plays out will be different in everyone's lives...only you know what happens when you elevate frugality to excessive heights. But if you're a frugality devotee, odds are good that like me, you need to do a little self-check every now and then just to make sure you're keeping frugality in its rightful place.
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Have you ever caught yourself letting frugality trump other virtues?
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Today's 365 post: I just never get bored of this.
Yes, I have.
I used to put the kids' workbook sheets in page protectors and have them use dry erase markers to "do" them. That way I wouldn't have to replace the workbooks and I wasn't technically reproducing them or doing anything illegal.
It kinda starting bugging me, though, and I figured this was probably not in the right spirit of frugality, so I'm springing for the new workbooks each year now;)
It actually is illegal to do this in most instances. You are doing the right thing by buying the new workbooks.
Wow, I didn't know that.
Thanks.
I really have no idea how that would be illegal. Copyright isn't absolute. There is such a thing as fair use.
If you bought the workbook, it's yours to do with as you please.
Workbooks are generally not covered by fair use.
Good post...it never hurts any of us to look inside and reflect and adjust if necessary. And to me, being frugal means I have the resources to help others also because I haven't wasted things. Well, if I hurting someone else by being rude or hurtful (and I have been on the receiving end of that also) then I have defeated some of the purpose of frugality. Again....thanks for the fantastic post!
Thank you so much for this post. I agree wholeheartedly about the fact that frugality can become an obsession like anything else a person focuses on too much. Someone I know said she planned to skip eating lunch every day in order to save money...to me that is not only unhealthy, but very unwise.
I had a "friend" several years ago that would photo copy grocery store rain checks (they were printed on white paper at that time). That way she could get a great price on chicken (or whatever) whenever she bought it. That was the end of the friendship (although looking back I realize I should have said something to her).
This is also why the whole extreme couponing thing bothered me. I would go to the store to snag a good deal on say- tooth paste to find the whole shelf wiped clean by others who though buying toothpaste in huge quantities probably for a small family was a great deal. Now I know some will say they could have been giving it to a shelter or church pantry but more often than not this is not the case. I have seen the linen closets of some with enough toiletries from now til the second coming.
I always think of others needs before buying large quantities of item that are priced at good deals. Think of those families who really DO need those 1 cent items.
Yes!
I would like to buy my 2 tubes of toothpaste, too, please.
I know someone who stockpiles and then sells them at garage sales. Who buys these things?
Coupon Hoarders !
I can't stand that stuff.
If I bulk buy I only buy 10 items &
Only, if it will be used up with in
2 -3 months or given to
someone else to use.
Those Coupon Hoarders Take away
Good deals from Everyone else.
I mean Really 100+ items of the Same ????
Give it away & stop Hoarding .
I don't know about Y'all but I surely don't want
To store it ..... Hoarding a Food Clutter
& dusting food .... Just don't appeal to me
Thank you for this post! We all need to be reminded of this from time to time!
Our outward behaviors begin as inward attitudes. There are two areas in which I have to guard against--the first is pride. It feels good to manage money well but my pride can make me judgmental of how others spend their money. The second is in generosity. I need to be generous with the needy, and I need to not be so focused on thrift that I rob the joy from daily life.
Well put.
As far as I am concerned, trying to living a more frugal, sane life means having more time and energy to be NICE to others, to develop friendships instead of shopping for a hobby, and just enjoying a more balanced attitude overall. It's a shame when money becomes the most important issue in someone's life,whether it be from over spending or hoarding sale items!!!
Just curious, but you said to take advantage of the penny deals, you'd have to spend $5 elsewhere. If all you need are the items in the penny deals, it doesn't seem like such a good deal after all unless you need 500 pencils or something.Spending an additional $5 to make use of the deal could almost be a trap, couldn't it?
What might be a good thing to buy that isn't wasteful to use that $5? Your kids don't necessarily need backpacks, so that wouldn't work. But white coloring pads? Graph paper? calculator maybe?
Oh and that little pin-it suggestion box at the bottom of the post? Wayyyy marvy fab 😉
Ooh, she said marvy-fab! 😉 The box is actually supposed to be pulling thumbnails of related posts, but it's not working right (the tech guy is checking into it for me). I'm giving it a try for a month or so to see if I like it better than my trusty LinkWithin widget.
I thought I was the only one who said Marvy and I say it because of the hot Tuesday Weld used to say it on Dobie Gillis (at least I think that's where I got it)
Reese, true dat. Unless you need something else, or the penny deals are still good deals if you buy something you don't need for $5, then the minimum purchase ruins the benefit. I took the opportunity to buy my annual desk calendar, which happened to be on sale for $5.
500 pencils wouldn't qualify because the $5 has to be on non "$5 minimum required" items. Pity; that would make my local public grade school very happy.
Yep, very true. I needed a number of other things, though, like printer paper (which happened to be on a great sale) and some binders for managing church music. So it made sense for me, and I imagine it would make sense for most people, since there are bound to be some necessary school supplies that aren't on the penny list and which cost $5.
It's useful to keep a list (mental or written down) of consumables that you regularly buy (printer cartridges, for example) and how much you usually pay for them. Then when a sale like this comes up, you can consult your list and say "I'm saving $13.72 on the other stuff I'm getting, and I usually pay $35 for my printer cartridges - Staples has them for $37 - yeah, I guess the extra for the printer cartridge is worth paying, given the other savings."
Thanks for another great post 🙂 The part about keeping the thermostat super-low or super-high rings especially true with me. We live in a top-floor apartment in quite a warm part of the world (eg. it's still technically winter and I can wear T-shirts and flip-flops). In the summer it gets very hot with the sun on the roof and west-facing windows. Mr Omnivore wants to buy an air-conditioner for next summer. I was completely against this at first because they use so much power, but you know what, if we use it sparingly (we both are away from home all day), it could improve our quality of life and sleep without costing too much in electricity bills.
In all my dealings, I try to behave in a way consistent with my faith. I want my kids to see me as a good role model. I don't want any confusion in their minds as to what is right and what is wrong. And my husband and I are a team on this. If he sees me doing/saying something that is not quite right, he calls me on it, and I do the same for him.
It takes thought, at times, to figure out just what is right. It's very easy to be swept up in the tide of greed in modern culture.
what wonderful thoughts to start the day with! thank you! 🙂
Great post!
My husband works for that particular company, and he says people take advantage of the deals all the time, to the point where the store he works at has had to set limits so that others can partake in the deals........
Completely agree. And I've behaved poorly in the name of frugality, too. I think we all have from time to time, because frugality isn't black and white. For example, I have a conviction about buying real meat, from real farmers who treat the animals like real animals, not cogs in a machine. But when I've been feeling extra budget-conscious, I've fallen prey periodically to super-low chicken prices where I know those chickens weren't treated humanely. Frugality has to flal in line with our values, even if that sometimes means paying a higher price.
Thanks for this very important reminder. People are more important than things (and that includes money).
Good post and food for thought. Sadest part of this was the behavior of the irate customer who clearly ignored store policy and had the nerve to think he should be offended. Am glad to hear the management didn't cave to his bullying tactics. Have seen this happen before when management caved to keep peace andI've been frustrated that I paid more because I followed the rules, while the bully got a benefit!!!
It's a lesson in reading the rules and factoring them into the final total.
I think money is there to be used not hoarded so for me, the best way to make sure I'm not going overboard with saving is to have clear saving plans and to know what I'm saving for. When I first set up my budgets it was a little easy to start trying to "beat" my budgets - in some cases, it was good because I saw that I had overbudgeted, but in other cases, such as groceries, it was bad because I wanted to go with what was cheapest, instead of what was in line with my values and health (organic, local, etc). I had to remind myself that money by itself means nothing, it's how it's used that's important!
As a retail clerk, I've been on the receiving end of this, and as far as I'm concerned, it is stealing. The deal is usually pretty clear - how many items per coupon, expiration dates, discount with $5 purchase, whatever - and I can promise you I have never been paid enough to put up with the abuse I have had to take from people trying to play the system. The fact they were even dishing out the abuse made it plain to me they knew full well they were conning me. People making an honest mistake try to make it right. What really made it disgusting was how many times these folks had various Christian logos and stickers on their checks, clothes, etc. Well, actions speak louder than words. That's all I have to say.
I love this post - it's a good reminder for any of us who are passionate about anything. Passion is good, but it mustn't trump our other values. Just a hug from me to you for a good reminder.
Good illustration of the difference between "frugal" or "thrifty," and "miserly" or "mean."
Great post! It's good to take a moment to reflect on the spirit of frugality. We shouldn't do anything that would make people suffer or compromise our values just to save a buck. I have to be mindful of this when I'm tempted to push that AC up. Good reminder 🙂
I was providing in home childcare. I had a four year old completely melt down bawling because she had spilled ketchup on her white shirt. She kept sobbing over and over again that her mom would be so angry. That was a real eye opener for me. I can't believe people would project that onto a child!!
Very good post. I am really good on some of these things (95% of my kids clothes are hand-me-downs, and the rest are from the clearance racks, so it doesn't bother me a bit when they are destroyed), but I do need to work on things like not freaking out when my husband lowers the A/C.
I appreciate this post, being both a retail cashier, and as a human being! This especially rings true to me right now, as a new walmart has opened up down my street, and I've been tempted to ignore my opinions on their terrible business practices and negative community consequences just to save some money on my weekly grocery bill. Not to slam where anyone shops, but to me, my conscience is worth a lot more than a bit of grocery savings.
Couldn't agree more, Devon. We don't have a Walmart nearby, but were vacationing last week with family in a location that had a Walmart and only one other (small) grocery store.
We were all sharing the grocery shopping (5 families). Hubby and I discussed it and decided that for our share of the shopping, we would pay the higher prices for the smaller, locally owned shop. We just can't bear to give any of our hard earned money to Walmart. The hardest part was stating our intentions without coming across as judgemental or disapproving of other family members who did their shopping turns at Walmart.
I was just reading about the Frugal Zealot who absconded with a muffin for her later snack at a hotel and the controversy that ensued, in The Complete Tightwad Gazette! I draw the line at theft, such as the muffin. Also, there is no excuse for being rude or breaking other moral codes to save a buck. When I find myself feeling like a cheap miser instead of a wise steward of my financial resources, I know it's time to ease up a bit. So, I do take the soaps from a hotel, but they are single use anyhow. It's not like anyone wants my half used shampoo bottle, and for the price I pay to stay in a hotel, they can swing for a tiny bottle of soap, I think 😉
I Don't take What's Not Mine....
I have used, well Tried to use Coupons but only to find Out they were Expired 🙁 but Truly i didn't Noticed they were expired. I Keep GOOD ready to Expire Soon in my wallet. & I make NOTE on my To Do List so I don't forget to use them. Cuz to me that's like throwing $$$ away ! 🙁
But I've Recently Heard it don't Hurt to Ask if a store will
Accept Expired Coupons 🙂 cuz Sometimes they Will
Go ahead & take them 🙂
I do Use My Dad's & My Gma's KOHL's $10- Free coupons they send in the Mail tho 🙂 My GMa & Dad Neither shop there. So I usually Get my T-Shirts for $9.99 ends up being FREE They ( GMa & Dad hand them to me n say go get Urself something 😉 So I Do ... I don't think that's Wrong ...
Kids do break and ruin things all the time (in addition to just outgrowing them or using them up). I am learning to say to myself that it's only money and having a positive relationship with my little ones is more important.
Another good thing to keep in mind is not to request "free" samples that we don't really need. Infact, the detriment outweighs the benefit as the packages they come in remain in the landfill for thousands of years, perforating our ozone layer.
Yes. Children are just insanely hard on possessions.
Very well-said.
I have definately run into rude people trying to save money. The one arguing with the cashier for 10 cents really got me boiling mad!!! All because she didn't read the coupon policy. They double coupons, but coupon s only double up to 1.00, so she had 55 cent coupon that only doubled up to 1.00, not 1.10. She still saved 45 cents more than the face value, but policies are policies, don't argue!
I guess in the past I have fallen into this . Now I realize that frugality is not a competition, is a way of living according to our means and beliefs.
I not longer try to win, but to do what is right.