What do you do when you're tired of cooking?
The other day Jana left this comment in response to another reader:
“Tired of cooking at this point” really resonates with me. Why doesn’t Kristen ever get tired of cooking?! (Kristen, this might be a topic for a post: how do we keep on keeping on when we are tired of cooking or other endless daily functions of life?)
This comment made me chuckle, but I do agree with Jana that it's a good topic to discuss. And for the record, I do get tired of cooking!
As per usual, I'm gonna share my random thoughts on this and then open it up to you guys.
First, I want to acknowledge a truth:
Getting homemade food on the table every day is not easy
No matter how many, "Meals in Minutes" or "5 Easy Ways to Make Dinner Fast" articles you read, the fact remains: preparing, cooking, and cleaning up food day in and day out is a big job.
If it was easy, would the takeout/fast food industry be booming like it is? NO.
So, I think it helps to have some radical acceptance of this fact. Cooking every day is a tough chore.
And this is especially true because it is almost a constant chore. I mean, even laundry happens less frequently! But we eat food at least three times a day.
So, there is no reason to expect ourselves to feel happy and motivated about cooking every single day.
It's ok to get tired of it. It's ok to not feel like it. I think that's super normal!
You don't have to like cooking at all
I think there's a unique sort of pressure we put on ourselves about cooking, and we don't do this with other chores.
If you say you hate cleaning toilets or doing laundry, you generally don't feel guilty about it, and you don't feel judged. But it is somehow more looked-down-on if you say you hate cooking.
Hmmm.
You can choose to do a chore you don't like
I think this is another way cooking is unique: we generally expect ourselves to do laundry or toilet-cleaning or bill-paying even if those chores don't delight us.
But sometimes we think we have to feel like cooking before we do it.
Hmmm again. That's kind of weird!
You could try reframing it as a choice
When you get right down to it, chores are a choice. If we want to throw money at the problem, we can always choose to outsource the task.
I think this can be helpful because instead of thinking, "I have to cook dinner tonight.", you could reframe it and say, "I'm choosing to cook dinner tonight instead of getting takeout because I want to add to my financial cushion/stay out of debt/pay off debt/whatever."
Or, "I'm choosing to cook dinner tonight because I want to take good care of my body."
(I do recognize that some takeout is actually healthy, and that some home-cooked meals are not good for your health...but as a rule, what you cook at home will be healthier than takeout/fast food.)
Try focusing on the result
Like I always say, I don't really like cooking: I like eating! And the way to eat delicious food is to get my booty in the kitchen and cook.
The process of cooking holds little pleasure for me; it's just a means to an end, a pathway to a plate of good eats.
I don't know if that would work for everyone, but it helps me.
And I combine this one with reframing it as a choice: I want to eat delicious food and I want to take good care of my body and I want to save money, soooo...cooking it is!
Some practical ideas
Everything I shared above is about mindset, but practically speaking, here are a few ideas.
Lower your standards for what dinner needs to be
As you know from reading my menu posts, I have flexible ideas about what constitutes dinner.
A multi-dish meal with a main dish and sides is lovely, but that's not the only way to feed yourself. You can eat something simple like:
- breakfast for dinner
- sandwiches with fruit/veggies on the side
- crackers, cheese, and fruit
It's still quite possible to get whole grains, protein, and produce in that way.
Along those same lines...it's ok to repeat meals.
Please see: me and my blueberry pancakes. 😉
Allow yourself some convenience foods
Almost nothing at the grocery store is as expensive as takeout, so if some convenience foods help you avoid burnout, buy them!
Trader Joe's frozen orange chicken comes to mind, and so do frozen pizzas.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
If you can, budget for some takeout nights
Sometimes what helps you not get tired of cooking is....getting a break from cooking.
If you could know that every Thursday night, you get to order takeout, that might help you get your booty into the kitchen the other nights.
What would you add to my list?
I know you all will have some great ideas for Jana!
We have 2-3 nights a week that is designated 'quick dins' - this can be a cheese toastie, eggs on toast leftovers if available, plate of things (the name given by my kids to a collection of no-cook stuff on a plate), breakfast for dinner, sandwiches etc. With a few nights like this, it is easier to go to more trouble on other nights - but one pot, tray bakes, slow cooker etc are still my favourite.
@Senga,
LOL - when I was a kid, dinner would sometimes be what we called Things on a Plate (your Plate of Things). My mom would scrounge around in the fridge, and rustle up whatever lunch meats and cheeses we had handy (usually, American cheese, maybe salami if we had any, bologna, sliced ham), as well as any raw veggies/dip, crackers, fruit, maybe a smidge of cottage cheese. My sisters and I thought it was just the greatest. 🙂
@Senga,
When my son was around 10 or 11 they made a kids cook book at church and each kid was supposed to submit their favorite recipes. His was Plate of Food which we had most Sunday evenings. It started with take a plate, whatever size you want. Add meat, whatever kind you have to about half the plate...My kids thought they were pulling something over on the parents because they got to choose from the meats, cheeses, crackers, fruits, veggies and dips that I put out and then fill in with popcorn and I was excited to have a meal without complaints or whining.
Always have a few things in your fridge or pantry that can be made into any easy meal. For us, that's bread and cheese ( grilled cheese), eggs( French toast or scrambled), pasta , tortilla chips and salsa, frozen vegetables, cereal. Your options may vary. If I'm too tired or don't care, even my kids can make their own meal from this list.
Great topic.
I think that many people may not have the right tools and/or skills when it comes to cooking. The how to cook is not necessarily taught at home or school for some, while others may have the skills, but lack the basic tools, a decent frying pan, a couple of sturdy pots, a couple of decent knives and spatulas, wooden spoons, etc. These are my brains musings this morning
I enjoy cooking now when we have a plan in place. It makes it easier. It is usually a loose plan, like: meatless Monday, , pasta Tuesday, sandwich Wednesday which can include tacos, wraps, burgers. I've been having chicken wings and salad or raw veggies on Thursday night lately. Friday night is leftovers, pizza, nachos or dinner out. Weekends are more flexible, but I do like having a Sunday dinner once a month. ( Beef, turkey or ham dinner with sides and dessert.
My partner and I enjoy cooking together. We turn on some music, and start creating. We see it as time spent together, and usually enjoy the results. We've had one or two failures over the past 9 years.
I'd also say don't be afraid to use a few short cuts, that make life a little easier. My new short cut, while not necessarily frugal, names I eat more veggies. I've been buying a veggie tray every week. I'm eating all the veggies and not wasting them. If I buy the same things, uncut, they'd be turned to slime sitting in the fridge.
I'm looking forward to reading other thoughts on this.
I find a tightly structured plan and weekend meal prep helpful. Busy weeknights are tight for cooking time, and I find it much harder to make decisions about food at the end of a workday. I usually make a big pot or pan of something (soup, stew, casserole, lasagna) on Sunday that forms the center of two nights’ dinners. And I also find that getting takeout one weeknight is a fun break for all of us. So I have the following basic template, and I look at recipes and pin down the details before I go grocery shopping, and then modify as needed based on availability and prices.
Sun - fish, starch, veg
Mon - soup/stew/casserole, maybe a salad or some toast
Tues - something else (usually veggie burritos or tofu/rice/veg or pasta with veg and beans)
Wed - takeout
Thur - same as Monday
Fri - challah, chicken, another starch, veg
Sat - leftovers or a pantry meal
@It's me, Sam, your Sandwich Wednesdays make me think of the Sandwich Alignment chart!
https://saladtheory.github.io/img/salads.png
@WilliamB, oops wrong link.
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/249/778/490.jpg
@WilliamB,
I enjoyed that William B!
@WilliamB, Great links. 🙂
@WilliamB, I love these! Makes me think of when I was a kid and my dad would pack me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a hot dog roll because that was all we had in the way of bread. My friends teased me, but I didn't care.
@AnnieH, my kids LOVE “PB & J hot dogs” and “PB & J hamburgers” when we have leftover buns in the package after a family meal. 🙂
@WilliamB,
These are delightful!
@WilliamB, I love the link! Ice cream is always an option for a meal!
@WilliamB, the salad chart made me LOL. I’ve been thinking about this wrong all these years.
@AnnieH, HA! I had the "hot dog roll" sandwich more than once in my lunchbox as a child!
@WilliamB, Now I want to try an ice cream taco.
@Kate, Good Humor used to make them and originally sold them at Taco Bell restaurants. Sadly, they have been discontinued.
@Cheryl,
My kids used to love Banana dogs when they were little- hot dog bun with peanut butter, half banana and jam squiggled along the top like ketchup.
@AnnieH, I’ve seen them at Walmart! “Choco Taco”
@WilliamB,
That's so great!
@It's me, Sam, Yes as someone who likes fruits and veggies, but hates prepping them, I often buy the precut broccoli / cauliflower, melons, pineapple, and baby carrots to save time.
I cook because it is healthier and cheaper. I think it can also be a quick as eating out or going to pick up takeout. It enables me to eat what I want to eat whereas a meal out often feels like taking a chance food will satisfy you (especially if you don't get food from a chain/franchise but instead support local restaurants).
I sometimes find it helpful to remember how much work it was to make meals when I was a teenager helping putting dinner on the table. We did not have boneless, skinless chicken pieces. We did not have shredded cheese, jarred pasta sauces, or a lot of other items we can buy today.
When I'm feeling really tired of cooking, it helps to change it up and have someone else do it one night. I have a husband and 3 elementary-aged kids and though my fifth grader's menu is certainly not what I'd pick, having her cook dinner is good for her and also helps me in those times. Sometimes when I'm swamped, my husband will offer to pick up something that can be made easily or he will take one of the kids to the store to pick out ingredients for an easy dinner that he'll help them make.
Having one of the kids make dinner or pick the menu for a night also helps when I'm feeling frustrated that they don't like what I made or when I have the "I don't know what to make this week" struggle.
I know that not everyone has kids, but for those that do, my recommendation is to get them involved.
@Ruth T,
Good ideas! Get the family to help. I have never minded cooking and I really enjoy baking. I counted the other day and I have over 100 cookbooks.
@Ruth T,
Three cheers for your fifth-grade chef!!!!
I cook during the week since my husband commutes; he takes over on weekends. We also have a back stock of "apathy meals"--mostly homemade soup, frozen in individual portions--for when a day just goes sideways or proves too full for the recipe I had in mind. I do 1-2 big errand days a month, where I do the bulk of our shopping the next city over; dinner on those nights is nearly always a baguette, brie, and a sale salad kit.
I try a new recipe every few weeks, just to keep things interesting, but I've also my loyal standbys. No one ever complains about a surprise night of BBQ mac and cheese! 😛 This is more involved than it sounds, thanks to the homemade sauce, but I have actually managed it when half asleep and/or sick thanks to how deeply programmed the recipe is in my brain.
HOW one cooks makes a difference in kitchen fatigue, too. I've taught myself to cook an amazing amount of things--including poached fish!--in the crock pot so that we can still eat nicely on busy days. It takes, at most, 20 minutes to throw things into the crock pot, then I'm free to get lost in any tasks for the day. The weather has gone from frigid to lovely here, which means I'll be spending most afternoons this week doing yard and garden prep, which *also* means a few crock pot meals in our future. We're not talking all soups, either--chicken tikka masala and pesto salmon are on the menu.
@N,
Apathy meals - that is a great phrase! 🙂
@JNL and @N, I'm stealing that phrase too.
I am with Kristen. I cook because I like to eat.
We have themed nights to make planning easier.
Mexican Monday
Pasta Tuesday
Slow cook Wednesday
Asian Thursday
Chicken Friday
Chill and Grill Saturday
Family Favs / Leftovers Sunday
I also try to cook once and eat twice. Tonight, I doubled the enchiladas and popped the second one in the freezer. Tomorrow is frozen gnocchi that I made a few weeks ago. There is also at least one recipe for each night that can be mostly done willing by my 10year old or my partner - jarred butter chicken sauce, frozen chicken patties for burgers.
I also have a favourite recipe book with reliable recipes so I will pick things out of that book consistently. They may take a little work but as I said I like to eat so I just cook extra for another night.
@Natalie,
Yes to jarred butter chicken sauce (or other flavors of Asian-Indian sauces)! I love Pataks brand jarred sauces. Saute up some cut up chicken breasts, add some frozen vegetables (we usually use mixed vegs, but you do you), add sauce, simmer a bit, serve over rice. Yum! I would guess you could use these sauces on non-meat ingredients (beans, chickpeas, tofu, etc), but I haven't tried that.
I’ve been using Ollie (a free AI recipe app), and that’s been helping me come up with simple, delicious meals to cook. It takes a lot of the planning off my plate, which I love.
I think you are spot-on, especially about framing it as not liking something and choosing to do it anyway. One exception: that we're expected to like cooking. I've never perceived that, either for myself or in our US culture in general. I'd be interested in others' opinions on this.
I'll note the Kristen rarely preps food in advance, and I'm certain that that's not meant to be an instruction to the rest of us.
To add to your ideas:
1. Batch cooking.
2. Cooking in advance.
3. Planned overs.
4. A weekly schedule
5. Leftovers.
1. Batch cooking: there are a lot of resources online for this. The idea has two basic variations. The first is to prep the meal in advance, such as bagging and freezing crockpot pot roast; the second is to prep ingredients in advance, such as cooking onions.
2. Cooking in advance: actually cook and freeze the food. Cook the thin - soup, lasagna, etc., - then freeze in meal-sized portions.
3. Planned overs: roast a pork shoulder over the weekend, have roast pork that night, then braise some of it for pulled pork another night, then add what's left to chili for a third night.
4. A weekly schedule, such as earless Monday, chicken Tuesday, pasta Wednesday, etc. I recommend making one of the nights a use-it-up night. This taking some of the planning onus off one's shoulders.
5. Leftovers. I do love me some leftovers. I open the fridge or freezer and lookitthat! Past Me made me dinner!
The struggle is real, my friends. I'm sure that together we can help each other find solutions.
The being expected to like cooking might be something more common in conservative religious circles! So not necessarily reflective of the culture at large.
@Kristen, so it's not enough that you have to do the chore, you have to love it also?
Not gonna name names but it IS possible that I was criticized for not having enough enthusiasm about cooking. 😉
@Kristen, I'm assuming it's the women who are expected to like cooking?
Why yes. So crazy! 😉
@Kristen, I think maybe it's more generational since until the '70s and '80s eating out was way less of an option and women were expected to cook and enjoy it.
https://www.bonappetit.com/story/i-hate-to-cook-book
@WilliamB, I haven't exactly felt the pressure to like cooking, but I do still struggle with my husband being the one that does all the cooking. People expect that it is me as the woman to do it and will compliment me instead of him about something we bring to a potluck, for example. I know how to cook but I don't do it often because he enjoys it (most of the time ha) and that is how we have divided labor in our house. I still feel guilty sometimes, even though I know it is just the cultural norm and nothing wrong with our approach. I do plenty of other work to keep our household running.
@Carla G, It's a good thing to allocate work according to who likes to do it; better than doing it as society expects it to be done. Stay strong with it!
@Kristen et al., you may all be right. But one other factor in being expected to "cook and like it" may have been the rise of Martha Stewart and other domestic goddesses, the Food Network, and cooking shows in general. (Ms. Bestest Neighbor's late mother--a great friend and a true delight in her own right--gave me the "Martha Stewart doesn't live here" sign that hangs in my kitchen.)
And a current version: the trad-wife movement on social media.
@Carla G, no need to feel bad about it! I doubt men think twice about it if their wives/girlfriends do the cooking because of the cultural norm.
@Kristen,
Both of our sons do the majority/all of the cooking in their families. Because they like to do it so they chose to divide the home tasks that way.
The two wives have a big job in one case, and a business she started and is thriving in the second case. So, they contribute significantly to the household income.
But it’s more that the boys like it and especially enjoy trying new recipes from the big time chefs for variation (NOT Martha Stewart or anyone on TV.).
@WilliamB, ""A weekly schedule, such as earless Monday""
Earless meals are always a good option! 😉 ;P
@Kristen, My MIL (from a conservative religious circle herself) seemed to never ever believe that I liked to cook. When they'd come over for dinner, she'd act like I must have just had a horrible time "slaving away" making such a dinner. I would politely point out that I was serving exactly what we would normally have for that meal, possibly larger amounts, but that I really did enjoy cooking. And she would narrow her eyes disbelievingly. She does not like to cook, one bit, and could not imagine that anyone else would. So she thought I was lying, basically! Oh well.
@Bobi, I wonder if my mom still has her copy.
@Kristen, I'm stunned 😉
@A. Marie @Kristen, Martha Stewart and tradwives are selling an illusion. Martha Stewart has a lot of money and therefore lots of resources to sell the 'domestic goddess' idea. One of the (many) things which angers me about the tradwife stuff is that it's seemingly rooted in a 'simpler' time. But the image being put out does not reflect reality; cooking and other domestic chores are stressful and messy (there's no way you could cook in those pretty dresses without getting food on them) and require a lot of planning and multitasking. In the past many women had servants, if they could afford them, or were most likely very tired and very busy. Not to mention the numerous children they had to have (most of which are not in the tradwives' 'calm kitchen' content either)!
@Isa, No smoked pork ears in the beans that day!
(WilliamB, enjoying the laugh on myself)
@Carla G,
Two of my three sisters married men who are fabulous cooks, and both enjoy it. Especially when their kids were little, the hubbies did the majority of the cooking. Both sisters can and do cook, but do not enjoy it as much as their husbands do, and as you mention, they do plenty of other things to support their households. One of the two brothers in law was a stay at home dad, long before it was really much of a "thing". The other brother in law, with the help of my sister/his wife, catered one of his sister's wedding reception! (if you could see their tiny kitchen, you'd marvel that they pulled off such a feat!). So no need to feel guilty!
@Isa,
I thought the same thing! Unless it means "no ears of corn", in season. That would be a travesty! 🙂
@Sophie in Denmark,
I hadn't heard of this tradwives trend. Yikes. "Simpler times" were really not that simple....people had to work A LOT harder to get food and prepare it. And not just food/meal prep.
@Isa, I read it too, and instantly thought vegetarian night
I've noticed that whenever I ask the guys in the family to cook dinner, they often choose a semi prefab meal - the potatoes are already parboiled for instance and the vegetables cleaned and sliced. And or the meat marinated. I would only do that on the rarest of occasions - so I suppose it also depends what you define as cooking?
Personally I am fully embracing the "all got fed" approach for difficult weeks (very busy, very emotional, very chaotic, or whatever). For those weeks I heavily lean on simple potatoes/vegetables/meat dinners, or I heat leftovers. Also we stock some frozen pizza's just in case. Many takeaway options are too expensive/untasty/unhealthy to my liking. So if I am going to eat something meh that is not a balanced meal in my book anyway, I might as well pay little for it. And cook a more elaborate or imaginative meal on a quieter day.
Since I often eat in some random teacher's lounge, I get frozen meals that don't take long to microwave. Last year, I did a lot of bean burritos which were under a dollar. This year, I have discovered the calzones at Aldi, which are $2.38 each and are huge filling meals. These are like pizzas folded over into a sandwich, something I was not familiar with. But you can get them in various flavors such as Four Cheese, Pepperoni and Buffalo Chicken. Zap them for one minute and you are good to go, which is important bc there's usually another teacher behind you waiting on the microwave. (Cooking something for 4 minutes, taking it out to stir and then putting it back for another 3 minutes is really rude, IMO. I don't want to hog the microwave! We only have 25 min. for lunch.) I also like Night Hawk brand sirloin steak with broccoli, although the "steak" looks more like a hamburger patty; it is low on carbs and also takes only about a minute in the microwave. On other days, I make sandwiches or salads, but once in a while, it's nice to have something hot.
@Fru-gal Lisa, frozen meals are very convenient and the variety seems endless.
@Fru-gal Lisa, Good to know about the Aldi Calzones, I have seen them and never tried!
Another option, which only works with older kids, is to have a fend for yourself option on hectic nights. Everyone can heat up leftovers, make their own sandwich, or scramble some eggs. I fall to this default if I'm sick.
@Katy @ Practical Walk, my kids, who are now parents, were never happier than when we had FFY (Fend For Yourself) night. They actually hummed or sang while going through the refrigerator.
@Katy @ Practical Walk, when I was a kid, on Wednesday nights my family had what my mom called a free-for-all dinner (in that we all took part, not that a fight broke out). It was one of my favorite nights, probably because of the novelty of it. My mom was an excellent cook and loved being a housewife, but hopefully she considered that a night off from feeding five people every single meal, every single day.
@Katy @ Practical Walk, my kids call it “Find Your Own Dinner” and anything goes: eggs, cereal, even a 9yo can make boxed Mac and cheese for her and younger sister, tea and toast, and any available leftovers. Sometimes I feel guilty that it is not a “balanced and nutritious meal”, but my kids enjoy it 🙂
@Katy @ Practical Walk,
We call that Free Night! Usually when my husband isn't home for dinner. Or when I just don't have one ounce of interest left. Kids do cereal, eggs, chips and salsa and cheese- they know how to scavenge!
@MB in MN,
My mom was also an excellent cook and loved it. She cooked and baked all week and weekend, and always made enough to share with friends and neighbors, too.
But not because some religious entity expected her to do it. Generational, sure, but until now I had no idea that a religion would weigh in on this. Is it another way to hold women down? Women or men, not everyone likes to do the same things so one would think that families should work it out among themselves, not by force.
https://www.facebook.com/canonpress/posts/godly-women-want-to-feed-their-men-godly-women-are-designed-to-make-the-sandwich/10159469295656041/
And a non-Facebook link:
https://dougwilsonbelieves.com/beliefs/women-are-to-make-sandwiches/
Not only is this insulting to women, I also think it's insulting to men. Sandwiches aren't even that hard to make, but apparently it is too much of a challenge for men.
@ErikaJS, I hadn't considered the religious angle either. Fortunately not the case for my Lutheran family. To your question "Is it another way to hold women down?" - our nation's history, current reality and foreseeable future make it clear that women are not considered equal in too many people's eyes.
@Katy @ Practical Walk, We called this "VEGAS BUFFETT" in our house - everyone got to go in the fridge and pick whatever leftovers they wanted!
@ErikaJS, @Kristen, men are only seen as belonging in the kitchen if they are chefs (I assume because women cannot have authority).
The whole domestic 'sphere' belonging to women is such junk. Everyone can like (or dislike) domestic tasks and help each other. Men can be just a part of that as women, and excel, just as women can excel in a workplace. It has nothing to do with innateness in our gender.
Generally speaking, domestic tasks are more valued if they are done for pay, and more particularly if they are done by men for pay!
@Kristen, excellent point!
@Katy @ Practical Walk, I'm so glad I came back to read the growth on some of these comment threads. My addition to this is that I find it a little bit crazy that while I don't believe in the constructs made by stereotypes, they still do, somehow, apply in my household. I don't like livestock and don't have a feel for it, so my husband does those chores and a lot of the outdoor things that I could do if only there were leftover time, because although I grew up mechanicking mostly, and rarely in the kitchen, somehow it works best for our household if I do the cooking and the various kid-running and so forth.
I just don't understand it, but here we are. Not by rule or demand, and not even really by preference other than the livestock part, but because it works best.
@Cheryl, "Vegas Buffet?!" Haha, I love that term for leftovers night!! So cute.
Good morning / happy Monday!
This is one of those things that definitely will look different for everyone depending on season of life, who else is home, and what stores/options are available nearby (thinking of Kristin @ Going Country!).
We do have stores and restaurants nearby, but the motivation to be frugal and eat healthy is my driving force for cooking regularly. We also have several teenage boys, so sometimes I joke to the grocery cashier that we have a pet elephant and need to keep it fed. It can be a lot. My usual weekly strategy is to plan for cooking about 4 big dinners. Having a menu plan is a must for me. The other three nights are either leftovers or easier meals (quesadillas & veggies, pancakes & eggs, or similar). I try to stock options for easy lunch packing- fruit, yogurts, sandwich fixings, trail mix, etc. Husband works from home so he usually heats up leftovers for lunch. Our youngest asked me last night if someday when all the kids have left if I'll cook just one meal a week and eat leftovers the rest of the week. Lol, maybe! I'm sure things will change, like cooking smaller meals, and using the freezer to shuffle leftovers...
I like the comment Ruth T made about getting help 🙂 Having others lend a hand helps both practically and psychologically! One kid sets the table, another kid has dishwasher duty, and they can certainly pitch in on easier dinners. My least favorite kitchen tasks are cutting up raw meat and washing dishes.
I do enjoy breaks from kitchen duty from time to time! Like on vacation or work travel. Tonight I have a work dinner, so the rest of the crew can have leftovers at home. We occasionally eat out for birthdays or special dates (we went out a couple times last week when our house was without power & heat & water!). Having access to the right cooking tools and knowledge and groceries goes a long way!
Lots of good ideas already. I enjoy cooking more now that we’re retired and I have more time, but when we both were working full time, had kids in school, lots of extracurricular activities…. Whew! Cooking was hard sometimes. I was (and still am) a big fan of cooking extra to have leftovers to freeze, stocking some Trader Joe’s frozen things such as chicken fried rice, the orange chicken Kristen mentioned, etc., using the slow cooker, and pushing the easy button for things like salads, sandwiches, eggs & grits, and if all else fails, there’s always cereal/oatmeal or popcorn and apples with peanut butter.
When we were a family of 4 with busy weekday nights, I was a huge fan of meal prepping for the week on Sundays. I would brown the ground sausage, sauté the onions & peppers, put together a casserole, load up a crockpot & be ready for most week nights. I don't need to work that hard anymore, but I still make out my meal plan on Sundays for just myself (& my daughter when she comes over). My sister once said that she can’t predict on Sunday what she’d be hungry for on Thursday- that never entered the equation for me. I always chose meals based on the time I had to make them & who would be around. And I will not overlook the ease of frozen cauliflower/broccoli/carrots/cauli rice, etc. Those conveniences make a healthy side so much easier for me. And I agree with making extras of things that freeze well- often “frozen soup, baguette, salad” is on my plan
I have a freezer stash of pasta sauce and chicken tikka masala sauce that make a quick meal with little effort. Thanks for the reminder! I think we will eat some of it this week.
@Ann on the farm, I’ll add that the sauces are from recipes I double for the purpose of freezing half for an easy meal later.
@Ann on the farm,
Would you share the chicken Tikka masala sauce recipe, please? That's my DH'S favorite!
@Liz B., it’s loosely based on this recipe:
https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/chicken-tikka-masala-51154870
It makes a lot of sauce, so that’s why I started freezing half. If I’m in a rush, I skip marinating the chicken. I sometimes use coconut cream instead of heavy cream, so then it’s a coconut curry!
I feel like your blog has been key in keeping my dinner sanity! It was here that I internalized that there is nothing “wrong” about sandwiches and cut up fruit/veg for dinner.
Making things easier for myself and not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good has been key in getting me to cooking at home 90% of the time: frozen soup or soup from the store plus a sandwich for everyone on day-after-chemo day, those pre cut fruit or veggie trays when I was working so much overtime that I couldn’t even brush my teeth let alone cook, dumping sausages and pre cut veggies on a sheet pan and roasting, eggs in a hole in a pinch.
As a rule, the more involved meals are on weekends, when I (generally) have more time and space to think about cooking. Don’t me started on “Meatless Mondays” at school… if there is one day my kid is likely to have meat in her lunch, it’s Monday since it’s weekend leftovers!
Well, I feel delighted that I played a part in loosening up your thinking about dinner. Yay!!
It helps to not really have other options, I guess. 🙂 But in general, overthinking is a bad idea when it comes to things that have to get done. They just have to happen, and if I'm the one it falls to, then I just do it. I don't have an "out" for most things, so I just carry on. In the case of cooking, which I of course do more of than almost anything else, I know how to make it as easy on myself as possible on the days it really feels like a great burden, but it still gets done.
I don't know. That didn't seem too helpful. But I guess Nike had it right, after all. You just do it.
@kristin @ going country, so true! When you have a house full of children, you do what needs to get done. You really don’t have time to hum and haw about things.
I really enjoy cooking, and always have. However, something that helps me still make dinner on crazy nights is having a few meals I can make without a recipe or really thinking about it. I like experimenting with new things, but on Tuesday at 5:30 when my husband isn’t home yet to help with children isn’t the time for experiments. Something that is nice about having two small children and living 10-15 minutes away from a city is that it would be MORE work for us to get takeout/eat in a restaurant most days than for me to just make a simple dinner.
I’m also pretty committed to meal planning for the week, not necessarily to have things on certain days, but to have an idea of what meals we’re having for the week. Otherwise, I’ll spend $200 on groceries and somehow still not have anything for dinner.
@Hannah, That's how I did it too: I had a list of recipes to make in the next week or so, but didn't plan which meal for which day. Dumplings were always an option, too: steam frozen dumplings for 5 min, add cut broccoli, steam for another 5 min.
I second the Trader Joe’s mandarin orange chicken and the frozen pizzas! I would add frozen fish patties and French fries, rotisserie chickens and bagged salad kits, and the ravioli from Costco. Always have a contingency plan for when you are tired waiting in the fridge. Also “snacky dinner night” where you throw random cheese, sausage, fruit, and raw veg on a platter on the floor and watch a movie.
@Becca C, Well, now I don't have to comment because you literally said just about everything I was going to say, so thanks! 🙂
@Becca C, Yes to all of this! Semi-prepared items (patties, ravioli etc.) are all cheaper than takeout but easier than from scratch and absolute lifesavers.
@Bobi, clearly great minds think alike!
I try to have one grocery store convenience meal a week … usually frozen pizza with a bagged salad and one kitchen is closed fend for yourself night. I also cook a big “ Sunday dinner” to use the leftovers on Mondays. I hate Mondays. Mondays are a heavy mental load day for me. In the summer we have a grilled protein with a side of fruit or a simple salad a lot. Little cleanup so it feels like a cooking vacation.
My pro tips for folks living alone: (1) Learn to like leftovers (so that you don't have to cook every @#$!! day); and (2) swap meals regularly with friends and neighbors, as I do with the Bestest Neighbors.
@A. Marie, there is a group of older, single women on my street who share a meals. Each cooks one dish and shares three servings of it with the others. It’s brilliant!
@Bee, Oh, how great. Wish I could do that. BRILLIANT!
@Bee, so brilliant!
@A. Marie, I love leftovers, but do not have anyone to swap meals with. I basically prep a protein and a veg on Sunday - that will last me at least 3 meals, and i supplement in between with something from freezer or pantry - and occasional take out. The Lutheran church by me does an $8 take out meal every Wednesday (made by a Chef) - it comes with meat, veg, rice/potato, dessert & bread. I can easily get 2 meals out of it. The money goes to feed local homeless and struggling families, so I feel it is money well spent!
@Cheryl, meant to add, as I work full time and go to gym after work a few nights a week - I sometimes and not home until 7pm....so if I did not prep anything for myself on Sunday - I would eat cereal, PBJ, or toast for dinner most nights!
@A. Marie, I'm so impressed when people who live alone actually cook meals. I think if I wasn't cooking for my family, I would have a bagel and bagged salad for dinner every night. I love cooking, but part of what I enjoy is making it for people, it seems like too much work for just myself.
@Hannah, I live alone but I figure I deserve good meals! I don't make them all the time because I'm at work all day, but I really enjoy having a roast dinner now and then, for example.
That is exactly what I was going to say. I am worth feeding well. 🙂
@Bee, I want to be part of that group! I guess it wouldn't work so well, though, since I live several states away from you. I think I'd feel like I was treating myself to takeout on the nights I was eating the meals made by the others.
I don't like being too structured with my meals because it makes me feel boxed in. I usually have chilli on Tuesdays but other than that, I get a range of ingredients and have free choice the rest of the time.
I also give myself permission for occasional takeout - last week I was sick with a really rotten cold and just could not face cooking. Perhaps it wasn't the most nutritious choice but I was very grateful for takeout this evening!
My other general tips are to either buy frozen vegetables or chop and freeze food (such as ginger) so that I can just throw things in the pan and also have less stress about eating things before they expire. I also always do a grocery shop before going away so I can quickly throw a meal together when I get back.
@Sophie in Denmark, that evening, not this evening!
@Sophie in Denmark, another thought - I don't mind the actual cooking itself and quite enjoy it sometimes, but I really hate washing the dishes afterwards!
@Sophie in Denmark, Same!! I always cooked & my husband cleaned the kitchen. I miss him for a multitude of reasons, but I really miss my handsome man in the kitchen after dinner!!!
Oof, I have a lot of feelings about this, mostly negative, tied into 35 married years of being Chief Cook and Bottlewasher. Lately, I've struggled with cooking even for single me. Because I have decided I hate it. But one thing I find to be helpful is to cook once, eat two or three times. It doesn't take that much, if any, extra time to double a recipe. And a lot of things can be portioned, frozen, and reheated. Make it with a protein/veg/grain or starch and it does the whole job. Tonight's meal is a Knorr package of seasoned rice, a small packet of cheese sauce, a chicken breast, and a package of frozen broccoli. I imagine it will be comforting and delicious, if not totally nutritious. But it will get the job done, and I will make three meals out of it. #winning
While I'm envious of those people who can go into the kitchen once a month and cook all their meals, that's going going to happen here. However, every Saturday evening, I put aside an hour and prep food for meals into the week. I may cut up vegetables like carrots and celery, chop up onions and greens (pop those in the freezer) to make a sauce, peel pomegranates, toaster-oven some chicken breast - simple stuff, but finicky enough to be the obstacle between me and a healthy meal when I'm tired to cook.
Another (sneaky) thing I've done is teach my dh to cook! He managed to avoid the kitchen like a plague for a couple of decades, but recently I started tempting him into the kitchen with a promise to make his favorite dishes, and now he's hooked! He's at the point where Youtube is still his friend and you're not allowed to speak to him when he's following the instructions (1. Boil the water 2. Add half a tsp of salt.....) but he's made some outstanding stuff, and there's no complaining from my end!
@Talia, kudos on your sneaky kitchen win! I'm so grateful my husband likes to cook (and clean, thanks to his dad's great example).
This is such a helpful topic! I need to recharge the cooking battery often.
Season of life has brought unexpected changes in how I cook through the years. I enjoy the process of cooking more now that I have more time. I've apologized to my grown children for poisoning them with pop tarts and McDonalds too many times when they were growing up. Thankfully they just laugh.
There are so many more choices of fresh fruits and vegetables in the grocery stores now than 30 years ago. Of course, that may be because my food budget is much less limited now than when daycare or tuition were ginormous budget categories.
We are visiting my out of state son now and he tells me "you have upped your game" referring to making vegetables more inviting. I am thrilled! I make sure that we have at least one starchy, one green veggie and hopefully another color every night. I have discovered that roasting veggies makes pretty much everything delicious and the grandkids like eating them with their fingers. Hey, whatever works!
Yes to the roasted veggies! I feel like when I was a kid, no one was roasting veggies, but now it's so common. What an improvement!
@Kristen, I learned about it in Molly Katzen's book, Vegetable Heaven, which came out in 2000.
@Book Club Elaine, Ha, when I met DH said he never knew broccoli could be green when it was cooked...his mother would boil it till it was mushy and practically gray, or, as he and his siblings put it, "cellularly disrupted." I generally roast cauliflower and broccoli these days.
As a widow I very often have to really convince myself to cook! I treat myself to take out once a week, have a selection of healthy-ish frozen meals in the freezer and often buy a rotisserie chicken to have with bagged salad. Anyway to eat real meals and not resort to ice cream is a good way for me!
@Linda, this is a struggle for me, too. I average 1-2 takeout meals a week, and I love the rotisserie/bagged salad combo. I have to watch my salt so it gets tricky sometimes, but I go with what appeals to me and gets the job done. I could eat out every day, but I manage to restrain myself.
My husband does most of the cooking as he works at home. I know he gets tired of doing it all the time so we do several things:
1. Big Cook Sunday. We cook together and make something big that can be served for many nights and be turned into something else. Brisket, brisket tacos, brisket shepherd's pie, brisket sandwiches...
2. Plan a few takeout meals. Since the portions are usually huge we stretch the leftovers into another meal, or as a side depending on what's leftover.
3. Have simple meals like scrambled eggs or peanut butter toast. I prefer smaller meals for dinner anyway.
4. Have leftover medley for lunch and finish all the bits and bobs in the fridge.
5. Buy some ready made items like frozen meatballs that can be quickly heated up or added to other leftovers.
Cooking is basically my nemesis. As Kristin says, though, I just have to do it. Seven people and 11 miles from anywhere means it's not actually a choice.
I find a rough weekly meal plan helps a lot. I also think divvying up the cooking between household members is useful, where possible. I cook maybe 70%, husband 30%, but that's around 2-3 nights a week he is doing dinner and it gives me a break. I actually do like cooking, but if it was 7 days a week, it would annoy me! Every so often we do a left-overs-from-the-freezer night, or I'll have made a double batch of something that we can have, or convenience grocery store foods of one sort or another to cut prep and hassle.
Takeout is unusual for us. It's not never but it's a treat or because of a specific situation, certainly not weekly or even fortnightly, MAYBE monthly.
I'm back, but I'm sick. Ugh.
Anyway - I used to wonder why I saw so many older women (and men) eating out a LOT - weren't they the generation that "knew how to cook and still would"? Then as I got older, I realized they were just tired of coming up with ideas for meals all the time and cleaning up. I still cook, though, because of frugality, health, and because there is next to nothing in my town as restaurant options other than fast food.
I batch cook and plan for leftovers. It has saved my sanity many a time, and I always try to keep a serving or two of leftover chili, soup and stew in the freezer for those times I am out of ideas or too tired to cook. I use frozen vegetables frequently for speediness and make large sheet pan meals that will feed me two or three times for ease. That helps me a lot. I also look for new and interesting recipes, to keep some fun in cooking. My preference is baking, but no one can live on a diet of pies, cakes, cream puffs, brownies and bread... can they?
@JD, well, Marie Antoinette **was** supposed to have said, "Let them eat cake!"
@JD, Feel better. Soon!
WilliamB, Thanks!
A. Marie, Yes, if only it was as nutritious as it is delicious!
On another note... no one remembers Merle Haggard, I guess? Although I admit it was actually more like "when a girl could still cook and still would."
@JD, HEY! That’s a Merle Haggard song reference!!
@JD, oh. You said that. I LOVED Merle’s voice. “Before microwave ovens, when a girl could still cook, and still would. . ."
Since my husband was the absolute worst cook ever, I have been the chief cook for most of marriage. This is really not an exaggeration. My middle son used to say, “Daddy cooks Cajun style. He blackens everything.” There are other stories that are ensconced in family lore like the night DH caught the grill on fire or used orange vitamin water in stir-fry in place of my homemade orange sauce. Therefore, I always did the cooking.
However, now that he works from home and we are not trying to feed 3 hungry kiddos, he is not as rushed and is learning to cook. He cooks very simple meals, and there haven’t been any major kitchen disasters. This is a huge relief for me. Our meals are nutritious and easy.
When my kids were little, things were much different. Feeding 5 people is much harder. I did some bulk cooking and loaded the freezer with ready made meals once a month. There was a book that was popular around that time entitled, Once a Month Cooking. DH would help me prep and it was a huge time saver. During that time, I also used the crockpot to make a few super easy meals - 5 ingredients or less. I always had a few emergency items - frozen pizzas, chicken strips, baking potatoes that could be stuffed, and jarred spaghetti sauce - on hand. We also budget to eat out 2 Fridays a month at a local family restaurant that the kids liked. All and all, we made it through and no one starved.
Bahahaha about the Cajun style cooking. There's an episode of Sponge Bob where there's a bad chef in the kitchen and one of the customers said, "He burned my shake!"
Perhaps your husband could serve a blackened milkshake. lol
@Bee,
I think it's hilarious that he used orange vitamin water in a stir fry! I gotta give him props for trying to substitute with what was on hand. 🙂
@Liz B.,
Well sort of! Before heading to dance class with my daughter, I had chopped all the veggies and chicken. I made homemade orange sauce and left specific directions which DH did not read.
My daughter forgotten her vitamin water leaving it on the counter. For some reason, I’ve never understood, DH decided to dump the water into the stir-fry and boil the whole thing together in the wok. I think that he thought it would cook more thoroughly. As you might imagine, it was inedible.
Even in the winter we grill. A lot of Saturdays we set up the charcoal grill (use whatever you have) and grill meat for the upcoming week. Typically it's a sirloin (we keep in frig and slice off to eat on crackers before we go to gym or need a snack), chicken breasts, chicken thighs, pork tenderloin, maybe salmon. Boom, main course is ready to go. I typically undercook them slightly since we're reheating. You can also cook a large batch of rice in the pressure cooker, portion them into bags and freeze. Easy side dish. Also you can cook a large pot of spaghetti and portion into bags and freeze. Spaghetti isn't just for spaghetti! It can be a side dish with some butter. Bake some potatoes and sweet potatoes on the weekend. Those are ready. Also rice and pasta that has been cooked, cooled and reheated has a lower glycemic index than eating it "fresh." Cook several pounds of ground beef and portion into bags and freeze. Easy taco night or eat over a baked potato with some cheese and sour cream, whatever! Same with chicken breast or thigh. Cook a large batch in pressure cooker or however you like, shred and portion into bags and freeze. Use on salads or fajitas etc. These are some ideas for batch cooking, OP might want to read about it for more ideas. This way you have the building blocks to quickly throw together a meal 🙂
I am glad we live so far away from halfway decent restaurants. In our town, there are only the usual fast food restaurants that we know are not good for us. We do have 1 or 2 restaurants, but then it comes with an expense. So unless we are going into the larger town, there are no "good" options in our immediate town.
When we don't feel like cooking, batch cooking is one way. On the weekends, make larger meals, and throw some remains into the freezer for the nights you don't want to cook. Also before freezing your meat that you just purchased, put it in the marinade so you can't say "I forgot to marinade the meat". As it defrosts, it's getting marinaded.
Jarred spaghetti sauce is fine (when you find a kind you like) with frozen meatballs if we don't have any sauce in the freezer.
Sometimes we have "fend for yourself" nights. That's when people find something to eat on their own.
And the last one -- learn to like leftovers. Some people absolutely refuse to eat leftovers, and I get that, but if you want less food waste and more money in your pocket, this is the way to go. I remember one of my daughter's friend's mother who would put all the week's leftovers on pizza on Friday nights. One time she was invited over for Friday pizza and they had leftover pork chops cut up on the pizza.
I like to cook. It's everything else -- the shopping, the hauling, the unloading and unpacking, the inventory taking, the cleaning up, yada yada -- that's such a drag.
Cooking is a major sore point in my family, as my husband and son, both on the autistic spectrum, are extremely picky eaters. There are only about a half dozen things they will eat. People think I'm exaggerating, but sadly, no. This was aggravated by my husband becoming sensitive to gluten and lactose. And I never know when they'll suddenly go off on something they've enjoyed for years. They also prefer foods that are not healthy, although I use every trick in the book to fool them into eating less salt, less fat, and more fruits and vegetables, and they have a low tolerance for leftovers.
Despite their lack of interest in good food, I cook a lot, because essentially there's their menu and mine, as I'm the one who happily eats beans, greens, veggies and salads.
Food allergies and such make cooking SO SO hard. I send you my sympathies!
When I am feeling inspired about cooking, I like to make double and freeze half, so that on those days when I just don't feel like cooking, I can pull something from the freezer -- or my husband can do so. Home cooked food with very little effort on those days.
Chief cook and bottle washer here too. I use to love to cook but now the only thing I dislike more than cooking is washing dishes. 🙂
Now that hubs has dentures and cannot chew things it's making something for him, then something for me. Part of that is solved with frozen breakfast sandwiches for him. He also wants meat for each meal and I could not eat meat at all and be ok. Meshing our food choices is an additional challenge.
We usually get Chinese takeout once a week, that takes care of several meals for him as that is one leftover that he does like.
By the time I am done with work for the day the last thing I want to do is cook then do dishes and or clean up the kitchen.
I am one of those weird people that really love to cook. I actually read cook books for pleasure, get ideas from cooking shows and generally am happiest when I am in the kitchen. All of that said there are times when life kicks me in the butt and the idea of preparing a meal in the kitchen is the last thing I want to do.
I do try to avoid takeout for both health reasons and cost but I give myself grace when it does happen because most weeks we eat all our meals at home. To combat the 'I don't feel like cooking beast' I do a few different things.
1. I always try to make a meal that will yield leftovers. Since we don't mind eating leftovers this saves me one night of cooking. I love doing this on Sunday because when the bear of Monday hits, I don't have to think what's for dinner?
2. I batch cook. I will often cook several proteins & some sides over the weekend to have ready to go during the week. For instance a chicken cooked in the crockpot can yield broth and meat for a pot of soup and chicken to be used for tacos during the week too. A large batch of rice can be used to go along with several meals. A batch of pinto beans could also go along with tacos on taco night or be turned into bean burritos. If you don't want to cook your own chicken Costco Rotisserie chickens are great and very affordable.
3. I keep a stocked pantry and freezer. I know that this sounds like an oxymoron but I swear of you have a pantry that is well stocked you crank out an awesome tomato soup in like 20 minutes with canned diced tomatoes, a quart of chicken or veggie broth, some jarred pesto and a little cream. Want to stretch it further? Add some small pasta and a grilled cheese on the side. This also helps with snacky dinners and gives you options. I do keep some quick things on hand like ramen, cornmeal, protein pancake mixes, oatmeal and a variety of pasta and dried beans. Canned Tuna and chicken can also make easy sandwiches, salads or even casseroles that can be thrown together in minutes. Frozen veggies are your good friend. So is a chest freezer. If you don't enjoy leftovers freeze them until you don't feel like cooking and I promise they will never have tasted better. Be intentional with your freezer as well. In the winter it is easy to cook a large batch of soup or make an extra large batch of spaghetti sauce or meatballs. Throw the extra in he freezer and pull it out when you need a break.
4. Keep some quick meals ingredients on hand. This past Saturday I knew that I would be doing major spring cleaning so I planned my errands around a trip to Trader Joes and when dinner rolled around there was jasmine rice, mandarin chicken and roasted baby broccoli on the table in less than 30 minutes with very minimal cleanup. I love to keep frozen stirfry veggies, peas, corn, green beans, spinach, okra and a variety of field peas on hand at all times. These are thrown into soups, make quick sides and can even be the main course if you are having a meatless supper.
5. I have a serious love for my crockpot and my Instapot. These two pieces of equipment have kept us from eating taco bell more times than I can count. Talk about hands off cooking! Think pot roast, stew, soup, chili, braised chicken or porkchops, macaroni and cheese. All homemade, simple to throw in and 6-8 hours later dinner is served.
6. Keep it simple. Not every meal has to be a main and three sides, everyone does not have to eat the same thing and it can be mismatched. Sometimes toast and a piece of fruit is a lovely dinner, sometimes someone wants the last of the roasted broccoli and a baked potato and another wants Eggo waffles. Let it be. I try to take guilt out of the equation and remind myself that if everyone is fed that is a win.
@Angie, I also love my crockpot and instantpot! Those two things make meals SO much more manageable.
I strongly agree with all of your points. With two working parents and a toddler, cooking is often more of a chore than a pleasure, even as someone who likes to cook.
I rely on my freezer a lot. In the busiest times I relied a LOT on semi-prepped foods. Frozen ravioli, jarred sauce, and a salad kit are still cheaper than takeout. Frozen breaded fish with a side of frozen peas (well, cooked of course!) is cheaper than takeout.
Now I try to include some homemade frozen prepped foods, too. Once a month I prep a tray of chicken breasts into chicken katsu (frozen raw, to be baked.) I try to have a soup frozen so that we can have grilled cheese and soup one night (though that hasn't really worked out.)
All of my sides are pretty much raw or minimally-prepped veggies. Cucumber salad, baby carrots, frozen peas with butter, frozen french fries, frozen corn (it's really good with salt, pepper, red wine vinegar, and basil.)
One of our go-to "I don't want to cook" meals is hard-boiled eggs, smoked salmon (we buy it in little packets that can be kept in the freezer,) raw vegetables, and bread.
I like having something to look forward to while cooking (my current audiobook, favorite music, or a podcast). Improving the atmosphere of the kitchen while cooking helps me do it a little more cheerfully.
@Kyndra, podcasts are how I get cooking and dish-washing done! As well as other chores.
My mother hated to cook so I've been making dinner--and other meals--since I was six. (Discovering the library had cookbooks was a game changer!) For me it helps to have a weekly meal plan and to cook once and eat twice.
We are on a fixed income. $100 a week for 3 adults. Dh eats the same meals every day, will not eat anything else, although we do eat out lunch 3 times a week at a place for free. I am so tired of cooking 3 meals for him every day and then for me. I tend to eat cereal, cheese toast, tuna salad or ramen although I do cook ds and me a big meal that we eat on for a few days. I don't have the option of not cooking for him, so there's that. Plus, I lost 75% of my taste to COVID, so I'm mostly after sustenance now anyway. Thanks for listening to me vent.
@Jennifer, I am sorry for all of that. It sounds really hard
@Jennifer,
That's a LOT to deal with. Since your DH eats the same thing every day, can you cook a big batch of at least some of the things, and then heat a serving for him each day?
I like to cook, but I dislike having to decide what to cook. I make each member of my family write three main dishes on a post-it each month. I look at that each week to decide what to make since Wednesdays are Church Night, Fridays are Homemade Pizza Night, and Saturday and Sunday are Grandparents Nights--all of which have designated meals or I don't have to decide. Once I have that list, I figure out what our schedules are and what we can do each night. During soccer season, I make lots of shredded chicken and we have burritos/quesadillas/BBQ/chicken rice/chicken cakes/rollups/salads as we arrive home--this is on my mind as we got our soccer schedules this week and are going to be out of the house until 8 pm twice a week.
When I was working and we had smaller kids, our plan was to cook on Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I had Saturday & Sunday off, and our office was allowed to WFH on Fridays, long before COVID due to international hours. I'd make big meals on those days, we'd have leftovers three nights, and then the last day would either be leftovers (if there was enough, and/or we weren't burned out of whatever it was), or something easy. TJ's orange chicken, a frozen pizza, or "cheater" spaghetti & meatballs (sauce & meatballs from Costco).
I think you covered it all! I happen to LIKE cooking, but I also get into ruts where I am just tired of the meal planning and cooking it all.
I just had one of those weeks! We did asian takeout one night, a frozen lasagna from trader Joe another night, and we went out to Rubios for cheapish tacos and chips one night.That’s a lot of “convenience” eating in my world.
THIS week I have my menu plan made and I have put easy to make meals in it. I will also pick up a roast chicken from Costco which will provide a FEW easy meals.
I love to eat, I also love my own cooking, and don’t particularly like the restaurants foods..too fatty too greasy too salty in the main.Not to mention exorbitantly expensive these days!
if I am totally lazy I might just grab some Tempura frozen shrimp or orange chicken from Trader Joe and throw some rice in t he cooker.Or,their frozen mushroom ravioli with a bag of the broccoli kale slaw with dressing in the bag.I almost always have a few TJ meals in my freezer.
Having a handful of totally easy meals in your repertoire helps a lot.
So, a little planning, and a little leeway to take the easy way out sometimes..all good.
I definitely have nights that I do not want to cook (sometimes many nights in a row). I completely agree with lowering your standards some nights. If we get a turkey sandwich and carrot sticks...it's ok, we'll make it. I also buy some convenience foods to keep in the freezer for when I have those nights. Yesterday we had frozen pizza because of that.
The one main thing I do is that when I feel like cooking (which mostly I enjoy...it's a stress reliever for me, but I enjoy doing it at 10am, not at 5pm)...I cook 2 meals rather than one and put one in the freezer. So, if we are having a busy day or I just am not feeling cooking, I can pull a meatloaf out of the freezer, or a packet of smoked bbq.
Smoked bbq over a baked potato (made in the microwave and crisped in the air fryer) is YUM. Pick your toppings...it's my go to fast meal. There's also cans of soup anytime to eat with a grilled cheese.
I also do try on Monday to figure out the week and prep whatever I can. I used to do this on Sunday afternoons when I was working in the office during the week. I know we are having chicken pot pie this week so I made the crust this morning and will just roll it out that day. I plan to make the filling today also so it will be ready to just assemble and bake. I know we are having ham/bean soup sometime this week so I will chop the carrots and all that today also.
But, some days...it's just every man for himself and that's ok too.
I do not do breakfasts or lunches. DH is on his own for those and mine is mostly the same every day so no mental load or physical load in that. DH is also good about loading the dishwasher if he dirties anything or washing his plate in the sink.
@Marlena, I forget how many different kinds of meals can be made with a baked potato - thanks!
One thing I have learned reading frugal blogs is that it really doesn’t matter. What you eat, how you make it, where you get it, it’s all good. When I fed a family everything was more mandatory than now that I feed just me but the crux of the matter is everyone gets hungry and seeks food. If you miss a meal it’s ok, if you eat too much so what. And after all the studies and opinions the basics are all the same, vegetables and fruits and some protein are good. Food prices keep going up, food programs are getting cut, tariffs may make things scarce so just stick whatever you can afford in your mouth and chew.
I cook because I have a family to feed, period. I really dislike it, and if I was single my meals would always be really simple and quick to make (think : eggs on toast with sides of veggies/fruits).
If I was rich I would not hire someone to clean my house, I would hire someone to make all our meals!
Once the kids are gone from the family house, you better believe our meals will be simple/easy, unless hubby wants to cook them (he enjoys cooking more than me)
The only tip I have, and use, is a fend-for-yourself night every week (for us it's on Fridays). Everyone is responsible for their diner, and they can eat whatever they want.
That and batch cooking during the week-end.
Oh man, I do feel this slog often. But my main trick is to cook three meals a week and make sure I double the amount on cook nights so we have two dinners to eat. That covers 6 dinners a week. Then our family does take-out or restaurant the seventh night. It winds up being less work than planning, prepping, and cooking six smaller meals. There have been some meals that have lasted us three nights. My kids complain sometimes, but... eh, I also rotate in meals they love to the schedule, so it all works out. We also allow them to put condiments they like on foods they don't.
I also try to make super simple meals when life gets busy or I'm tired. Getting tons of veggies is super important to me, and one of the things I dread the most on low motivation evenings is the chopping. So I've learned to be okay "cutting corners" some with prebagged shredded cabbage or julienned carrots in the produce section, or frozen veggies.
If my kids are happily playing, I'll also try to listen to a book or podcast while making dinner. It helps me enjoy the chore more. Sometimes, letting my kids help has been a good way to combo quality time with a chore. We'll play cooking show and narrate what we're doing. It's more work, but they love it, and it makes memories.
Clean up confession, my husband does most of the dishes in our family. BUT! When he's busy or traveling for work... I learned a trick. I spent decades believing you should handwash the big stuff. While visiting my sister one year, I was stunned to see her loading pots and mixing bowls, filling up half the bottom of the dishwasher. She said, "that's why I have a dishwasher." It honestly freed me up to just throw stuff in there and run an extra load when needed. I didn't feel bogged down with dishes and dinner got made.
There’s a behavioral strategy called temptation bundling where you pair something that you love to do and will do easily with something that you are struggling to do more of. I use this to encourage my big cooking marathons (making soup for the freezer, prepping lunch for the week, etc) band weeknight cooking by only allowing myself to listen to a certain podcast while cooking.
oh, I do hate cooking, it's my husband's job.
Eat the same food every day for 1 week (fried rice and salad, for example). Then change the menu and do the same.
For many years in my 20s, I worked two jobs and literally wasn't home at hours when I'd eat meals. (Luckily, one of those jobs gave me access to a cafeteria with reduced prices. Much cheaper and healthier than takeout.) For many years into my mid-thirties, I worked at a job with very demanding hours with sudden or no notice of "overtime" (was not paid overtime but worked beyond 9 to 5 and on weekends.) I was appalled at how much I spent on takeout and food delivery. Aiyeeeeee.
In my mid-thirties, appalled at what I had spent over the years on out of the home food, and having a job where I could work from home part of the time, I started to cook. I approached it all as an experiment (I have to say here that I was motivated by a set of Le Creuset pots (worth close to $1,000 and up now if purchased, much less back then but still mighty expensive for the time) for Christmas from a generous friend. I also decided to invest in kitchenware and appliances as never before. You don't cook when you barely have a pot or two and no knives and the kitchen basics.
I titled the period: Investing in myself and saw cooking not just as a way to save money but to be a real "grownup" as it were. And I viewed learning new recipes as experiments: Sometimes great results, sometimes not so much (To this day, I allow a portion of the food budget to try new things. At some point, even I get tired of the things I love.)
Over the years, my daily cooking routine varied as health problems arose (I went through almost six months of eating almost nothing daily to the point where I basically didn't eat much food at all. This happened during medical treatment.) and as my appetite changed. (I'm currently facing food waste challenges due to ongoing health issues.)
There are times when I just wasn't physically able to cook so there was delivery and takeout. I tried to cut back elsewhere to keep the budget in line. (We also used to have very good lunch special deals at a few local restaurants. You could feed yourself for at least three meals, if you could stand leftovers, and that really cut the overall cost.)
I was lucky in that I didn't have to cook for a family, but I did, for quite awhile do as friends with kids did: Weekend mega prep and cook. This, to me, was brilliant. Yes, you spent a few hours but then all you did was defrost and minimal prep during the week.
Ironically, cooking for one is more of a challenge than cooking for others in terms of waste, etc. I can do one night of leftovers and freeze stuff, but then your freezer becomes full (Just have a smallish apartment style fridge) and balancing of the moment and defrosted food becomes a challenge and stuff ends up with being tossed from freezer as well as small bits of leftovers get lost. And I don't know about you, but one time of leftovers is the limit for me.
I think accepting that there will be times you will get takeout or delivery is inevitable, especially with circumstances like workloads and how you feel. Budget accordingly.
The other thing I've learned to do: Cook as much as you can when you can and simplify meals. It's a salad, or eggs + (omellette, frittatas for leftovers or "bowls" of whatever is around) or simple steamed or sauteed veggies. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
And yes, sometimes prepared meals or bits are definitely the answer and, if purchased on sale, can actually save money
Reframing sometimes works, sometimes, not so much. I can't imagine if one has to feed a spouse + kids every day (and work!) OMG.
Friends have wisely taught their kids how to make simple meals and, interestingly, some boys and girls have shown a lot of interest and ended up teaching themselves how to cook. As a result, some friends now have teens who cook one or two meals or more (!) a week for the family. I encourage this if you can because there are times when the kids are home alone for meal times and can easily learn a few cooked or not cooked things to do.
Thanks to Instant Pots, microwaves and air fryers, it's a lot easier to make a lot of stuff these days.
Of course, what is really the issue with cooking is all the mess with the prep and cleanup.
If you live alone, it's exhausting the amount of time a meal can take if you include that in it. (And even more exhausting if no family members help you with cleanup if you cook!)
There are also now a variety of meal delivery services with options for no prep, minimal prep. Not cheap but you can use special promos to try them out. Every now and then it might make sense.
And let us not forget, the better quality frozen meals out there (they are not all fat and sugar and salt loaded, thankfully). We can get some on sale for $2 a piece, supplemented with fresh veg or a salad, they can actually save money depending on what you are making. (This is especially true if you're feeding just yourself and have a smallish appetite.)
We have been trained to see food as an occasion and not just a way to fuel us.
During tax season I have a few tricks including Bag Dinner (2 gallon bags with quick meals: mac and cheese with ground beef) (chicken alfredo with sauce canned chicken and pasta) Freezer assets (planned overs frozen and used during my high pressure times) and last Fast food which is fish and chips, sandwiches, pizza. All are made from home.
I am super impressed by all the folks here who make and stick to a meal plan. I can do an overall "plan" for the week in terms of total number of proteins and veggies needed based on how long they are good to eat after cooking. But I wing it when it comes to the meals. I cannot imagine eating anything when I don't feel like it, which is what would happen with a plan (I still remember how much I hated the limited cafeteria menus in college to this day. Ugh. My stomach just doesn't work well for many reasons and that also influences needing different choices not on a set menu.)
I can see how it streamlines things in terms of shopping and prep to have a menu, but OMG, do you all always want to eat what is on the menu on a given night? What if you do not, for whatever reason?
How does that work?
One of the greatest reasons to cook is that the result is almost always better than similar quick food from other places. You can control the ingredients, the process itself, and the clean-up. The other old reliable (unlike Kristen's mashed potatoes): EGGS. Even at today's prices, still a great and easy form of protein.
Kristen already touched on one way I keep from being tired of cooking (we eat all our meals at home, and pack lunches): Train the rest of the crew. Most everyone takes turns cooking, and the best way I know to get kids interested in cooking is have them learn their favorite meal. Youngest kid is learning how to make boxed mac and cheese currently, because it's what he wants when the rest of us are having stew. Knowing that I'm usually only responsible for cooking two nights out of the week helps me actually look forward to those nights.
Although I love to cook, I completely understand being tired of cooking. Especially when I was single, the idea of dirtying up the kitchen and being the only one to clean it was tiring. So I'd often just make a sandwich or a can of soup. DH once confessed to me that sometimes, to save dishes, he'd eat the soup out of the can cold--even condensed soup! He said he just drank a glass of water with it, and figured it was the same as heating it up with water on the stove. My goodness.
So one of our main house rules is, whoever cooked dinner (or did a lot of food prep for a dinner, like for pizza night) does not clean up afterwards. Everyone else pitches in to clean up, with the understanding, of course, that the chef leaves the kitchen as tidy as possible after cooking (no sink full of dirty utensils or cooking stuff).
Im sure others have suggested this but I am a big fan of leftovers especially items that can be combined with other things for a “new” meal. If the carnitas can be eaten in a burrito one night then used to top a grain and veggie bowl another night then the meals feel different but you are only assembling or maybe chopping some veggies. I like to make a big batch of some grain and to wash and cut several veggies which also helps with cleanup. It feels easier to cook if you just grab your bag of already washed and chopped items to throw in a pan.
I have starting incorporating more premade sauces in our meals. We often eat rice + veggies + chicken + prepared sauce. If the sauce is salsa, we call it Burrito bowls. We have a collection of Thai-style, terriaki, kung-pao etc. for variety.
@Rebekah in SoCal, I'm a big fan of cooking chicken (my fave meat) or pork in jarred sauce over very low heat, a bare simmer. If the temp doesn't get above 150F then the food can't get tough, and the premade sauce flavors the meat. Works great with salsa, too.
I DO like cooking. But boy, has it changed for me in the last few years. I have 4 kids and like all of us, felt the pressure of getting a meal on the table every single night. For me, planning was what got me past the struggle. Before I started that, I inevitably was missing an ingredient or multiple ingredients and was faced with “running to the store” at 5 pm. Ugh.
Then, the kids all grew up. Suddenly, I was facing “cooking for two”. Took awhile to adjust to that! But I did. Sort of.
Now, it’s changed again. I now cook for my 89- year old mom. So it’s the three of us. I still plan every meal. I have things on hand now that I can use if I decide to switch gears on a menu. My moms not picky, thank goodness, so it’s easy to plan.
Whew! A lot of participants at this party today!
My Momma cooked meals at least two times daily for our big family. I learned to cook from her. We had meat, potatoes, a veggie or salad and baked dessert or home or store canned fruit. My sister and I both took over some of the cooking responsibilities and sharing with prep and dishwashing (with cold running water only, had to boil water for many things.) Sunday nights, Mom did not cook. We fended for ourselves, had popcorn and since Mom was out of the kitchen, it was my day to bake cookies. Oatmeal cookies got us more bang for the buck.
College, I did work study and fixed assigned things in the girl's dorm for breakfast. My best was not overcooking the scrambled eggs on an open-faced grill. After college, I worked dietary in a nursing home and because I had cooking experience and knowledge from cooking for a big family, I did very well. Because of not finding an art teaching position in my area and just plain not minding to work, I went on/back to LPN school. I share all of the this because it lends to the cooking shifts over the years. I went from cooking for my roommate/s and myself. Baking large quantities of bread for friends and for church dinners. And baked and decorated cakes (self-taught, well being an art major was helpful). Best lesson I learned in dietary was to "clean as I go," which carried over to everyday.
I like to cook, I like to try different recipes with things that are usually easy to find. I have gone on tangents. For instance, I have all of the makings for kimchi, can make egg rolls, like pho. I can make very good egg plant parmesan, chef's late night pasta (spaghetti, olive oil and eggs). I love pork carnitas and a good pico de gallo. I can make fried chicken or cherry clafouti or madelines. And if you need lemon curd (homemade), Lyle's syrup for anything or custard powder, I have that, too.
I drive thru a lot more than I should, and am trying to break myself of it because it has become more expensive and the quality has gone down. I'm so often disappointed with the knowledge I could make something that tastes much better and costs less.
And yet, I find myself finding it difficult to cook for one and I go in spurts at batch prepping/cooking only to discard a lot by the next week. I am learning to share with my niece or take a slow cooker and/or treats to work. My niece tells me, "you don't have to do that!" This week, I'm going to tell her, no I don't, but then I won't be throwing food away that I would gladly have shared.
I cook for our health and finances. We usually reserve eating out for things like birthdays and special events.
I do not love cooking *all* the time, but it is something I generally enjoy. Finding new recipes and trying them out is fun for me, and I have gotten to the point where I can read a recipe and tell whether it will turn out or not. But that has taken years of practice!
The biggest pain point for me is the dishes. I need to do better at having my daughter at least help with dishes. I'm almost always doing all the cooking and clean up.
It makes life easier if you don't mind eating the same thing every day or every other day. I make a pot of soup or chili on Monday and that is eaten M/T/W or M/W/F, interspersed with something different on Tues and Thursday. On weekends I cook more involved meals, or I should say we cook them since we usually cook together on those days. But even with that, if I don't feel like cooking we eat breakfast for dinner or a baked potato with whatever we can scrounge on top of it. The only time we go out is if I snag a food mystery shop or it is Friday and I want my Filet 'O Fish meal down memory lane. (Like this week we got a mystery shop pizza and three days later a mystery shop Asian meal, so my pot of Mexican wedding soup fed us the other three days of the weekday. On the weekend we felt fooded-out so meals were fruit, cheese and hard boiled eggs.)
HOLY GUACAMOLE, KRISTEN! This is a hot topic, and I am only now getting to it.
I don’t have a problem with fixing dinners because my husband has taken over that responsibility. Mostly I was wondering how you (Kristen) push yourself to keep doing repetitious things when she just doesn’t want to anymore.
I feel a little lazy/guilty when I see the variety and nice presentation that you consistently produce, whereas I am low on ideas and tend to just make a Slop-in-a-Skillet from whatever I find in the fridge/freezer/pantry.
There aren’t any fastfood restaurants around (closest is about 25 miles away) and our 4-5 local restaurants are pricey or closed for dinner. I looked at many frozen options while recently at Aldi’s, but they were heavy on pasta or rice, which is not in keeping with our current way of eating.
Have never heard of the “tradwife” trend. Those guys in the links about making sandwiches sure do come off as jerks. Ugh. Gives Conservatism and Christianity a bad smell.
I think that the pressure to love cooking probably started with Martha Stewart and her ilk, along with all the cooking shows and cooking celebrities. (Pioneer Woman and Joanna Gaines started with other focuses and then moved into cooking—a marketing move?)
Thank you for addressing my question. I think the truth of the matter is that you are a person of uncommon self-discipline, very focused on health, frugality, and becoming a nurse, so you do whatever is necessary to keep moving toward your goals. (Yep, I am a FG Fangirl!)
Now I will continue to read all the comments (154 when I post this!!)
I'm always in awe about how often Kristen gets to eat out or take out food, while still being very careful about her budget. She definitely budgets for takeout nights, watches for deals, freebies, and bargains, and makes the most of it. She's not going to expensive restaurants, but she shows how she definitely can make it work. And given her current schedule of work and school, she definitely earns those nights off cooking!
In our family we almost never eat out, because it's always less expensive at home. We budget for 3 very nice restaurant meals for my birthday (sometimes I prefer a home-cooked meal--my husband makes the best lamb shanks in the world!), my husband's birthday and our wedding anniversary (we just celebrated 36 years!). And every few months or so we have a busy or stressful day and we will eat at one of the local mom and pop type restaurants near our house for Chinese, Mexican, burgers, or Sushi--although lately those restaurants have gotten so expensive that a meal for 3 (we still have one child at home) is almost as expensive as one of our fancy celebration meals for 2 minus the added cost for wine and dessert.
I take my lunch to work--usually leftovers, my husband is retired so he always eats lunch at home, and our daughter works at Starbucks so she gets free food and a drink every shift (plus a pound of coffee every month we parents gratefully consume) or she comes home to eat between college classes. My husband is a great cook and we make most things from scratch, but we do buy a few packaged Trader Joe's Asian foods for a dinner every week. I make fancy coffees for myself as a treat at home with an Aeropress coffee maker (bought on sale) because since I feel compelled to tip really well when I go to Starbucks where my daughter works ;o), I spend too much! I buy inexpensive ground espresso, but I've learned to make a really good cup!
I needed this today. We started cooking more at home for financial reasons. I was good at it.
Then there were food allergies. But we could mostly work around them in order to eat out sometimes.
Then the kids started school and I packed lunches for the kids and myself and my husband.
Then the celiac diagnosis. There are limited options for eating out. My food is better than anything they make (and cheaper). It's just so much work all the time.
I'm a lot like Kristen in that I think of meals as a chore and not really an optional task, especially since I live rurally. That being said, I am more flexible these days.
▪︎ Fried egg on English muffin with cheese and if you have, lunch meat.
▪︎ Cottage cheese with fruit (usually canned peaches unless it's summer)
▪︎ I loved snack plates as a kid and stull have them regularly. Think adult lunchables: tasty cheese, whatever cooked meat I have around, sliced or dried fruit, nuts, peanut butter on banana slices, some chocolate. Mini bell peppers filled with cream cheese.
▪︎ If I make soup, I'll freeze a quart. Same goes with any meat that I shred. It's easy to reheat and dump it on a can of beans with some salsa. Breakfast burritos also freeze well, and that works, too.
▪︎ Banana pancake. It's two eggs and a mashed banana. Cinnamon and vanilla if you feel fancy. Cook until you think it's overcooked. Flip and cook some more. Add nut butter, syrup if you want. It takes a little effort, but is filling and tastes so good.
I'm not a fan of takeout, unless it's picking up a pizza, so I try to keep a few things on hand that can make a quick meal in a pinch (breakfast for dinner, pasta and sauce, frozen pizza).
I try to meal plan most of the week, but one night is always leftovers/fend for yourself to use up anything lingering in the fridge. The kids can make themselves something if they don't want the leftovers. I don't care what they eat that night, so long as its not just dessert for dinner, and they get all excited about fend for yourself night, like getting to make ramen is a treat. Weirdos.
Not really related, but years ago I had a crockpot going while we were gone all day, and we got home starving but it wasn't ready yet. So my husband suggested we have "backwards dinner" and eat dessert first, and it became THE thing in our house. They are all teens now and still will ask for backwards dinner. (or backwards and forwards dinner as my oldest calls it when they have dessert, dinner, then dessert again. Which is rare).
I have so much in my freezer, if I don’t feel like cooking, I could spend less time (but still time) figuring out what to use from my packed freezer! Planning ahead is a good tool—too often I wait till the last minute.
Early in our marriage, when the kids were young, I did all the cooking. I worked 3p-1130p so made dinner before I went to work. I didn't love it but I DID make all my baby food for all three children. Fast forward to when the youngest went to kindergarten and it was so challenging to make dinner after work, while driving everyone to their sports etc. My husband started cooking a few things and after a while was doing most of the cooking. And he was hiding his skills all that time. He is sooooo much better than i am at it. He had worked in restaurants for years and didn't love that but cooking for his family he did love. He still cooks most of the meals, but I make the sunday salads (for weekday lunches), the bread and the english muffins. I love the link to the "Hate to cook" book. I just might pick it up. 🙂
Tuna salad sandwiches. Especially my way: tune beat up into mayonaise and slapped on 12 grain bread from Aldi.
Tomato soup and grilled cheese
Pancakes
take one day to make something that you can break down and freeze. i would make a large pot of (red gravy) and then make either pasta, or chicken cutlets, or eggplant parm. thats 3 nites worth. also make a large pot of soup and freeze in containers, you could do a nice beef stew. it's worth it. get take out like pizza. when i was young and we couldn't eat meat on friday - my mother would make pancakes and then make an egg to put on top. we would break the yolk and boy was that good (i still do that today)
I haven’t read through the comments yet and I’m sure I’m repeating what others have said. One thing that really helps me is leftovers. It helps that I am only cooking for two and my husband is not picky at all. I almost always make enough for two meals and schedule the leftovers for nights when I don’t want to have to cook.
Lots of love to Kristen and all the Commisariat (sp??)
I choose to cook everything myself because lacking a gallbladder, I trust my own cooking to keep me out of the ER. So for those times when meals are a struggle, there's always oatmeal, smoothies, bran cereal, frozen soups/stews, or just veggies, fruit, & a little bit of nuts. We're empty-nesters and my husband is perfectly capable of feeding himself, although I'll make his meal if I'm cooking anyway.
We have Mish-Mosh night! Whatever is leftover in the frig and anything else anybody wants; frozen waffles, grilled cheese! Whatever!
This was a great article! Thank you!
I kiddingly tell my kids "Are you really back for another meal? I just fed you yesterday!"
Doubling a recipe to eat it for a few nights, freeze a portion or two of this and then do it again. I will also mix in some simpler meals if I don't want it the third day in a row or something, and can pull frozen portions out of the freezer to help with variety. Knowing which meals you're willing to eat 3 night in a row has really helped keep this to be a more minimal task. I can't fathom full on cooking a different meal every night and cleaning it all up every night.