Monday Q&A | Cleaning Up, Food Processors, and Activities for Kids
Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you'd like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!
First, I wanted to post about the Black Friday survey results. 483 of you weighed in, but sadly, Survey Monkey will only let me see the first 100 unless I pay them $19.95/month or $200/year. I wish I'd paid attention to that before I put the survey up.
Must find a better free poll/survey widget next time.
Anyway, based on the first 100 responses, 78% of you don't love Black Friday, 7% of you do, and 16% checked the "other" box.
On to questions!
Cleaning Up
This isn't a question about frugality but your overall philosophy seems in line with addressing this issue.
I feel like I spend every waking hour at home doing laps to pick up after people! You have written before about how your children pick up after themselves (somewhat). At what point does that actually save you time instead of taking time? I can get my 3 and 4 year olds to pick up, but generally it takes my close supervision ("that was great to pick up that lego! ok, now pick up the other 800 legos on the floor. . . ") during which time my 1 year old has assuredly made another mess. Then when I turn to clean up the new mess, the 3 and 4 year old continue on their path of destruction. You see where I am going? If I dare spend a moment to do dishes, make dinner, fold laundry etc., the chaos multiples exponentially.
Admittedly, I do work outside of the home fulltime-- but everyone else is out of the home at that time too.
What can I do to not feel like I am fighting a losing battle, all day , every day?
-Kristin
You know what's funny? I always assumed that families who are out of the house all day must have an easier time keeping their homes clean, just because I see the disaster that my kids wreak on my house due to them being here almost every single day! This must not be the case, though. 😉
Anyways, my kids are home almost every day, making messes on a regular basis, so my home is definitely not immaculate, and I can sympathize with your frustrations.
I usually try to have my kids clean up their messes once a day, either before dinner or before family worship. Right now, they're all old enough to participate in this, but if I had a 1 year old like you do, I'd put her under the supervision of my husband so that I could supervise cleaning (or vice-versa).
(Ideally, my kids would all clean up bit by bit as they finish playing with things, but I haven't managed to stay entirely on top of that. An that means by the end of the day, there are usually messes sprinkled all around the house.)
If you're having trouble getting dishes and laundry done, I'd just let your kids play and make messes, and then you can do one big cleanup before bedtime. Or maybe you (and your husband, hopefully!) could work on the dishes and laundry together after the kids go to bed.
When you're first teaching children to clean up, it is way slower to have them help, and that makes it so, so tempting to do it for them! Hang in there, though...if you persevere, their cleaning up skills will eventually improve. My older two are fairly good at cleaning up these days, and Sonia and Zoe (6 and 4) can hold their own too. Sonia and Zoe can't be trusted to organize and declutter, but they can definitely manage tasks like cleaning up Legos, picking up puzzles, putting crayons away, and the like.
If your kids are cleaning too slowly (one Lego at a time!), try using a timer. Sometimes, especially with the younger ones, I'll say, "Let's see if we can get this all cleaned up before the timer beeps!", and other times (especially if I've given my kids pleeeeeenty of time to clean and they're still playing instead of cleaning), I'll say, "You have 15 minutes to get this cleaned up!", and they assume there will be some consequence if they don't, even though I don't say so. This always provides them with sufficient motivation to get going...in fact, it's so effective, I've never even had to come up with a consequence! 😉
Food Processors
My question for you is: What kind of food processor do you have? Are you happy with the size of it? How often do you use it? Did you find it second hand?
-Debbie
I have a Cuisinart Classic 7-Cup Food Processor
(though mine obviously isn't quite as hip as the one in the link!). I received it as a wedding gift 13 years ago, and it's still going strong.
It's not a tool I use daily (I use my KitchenAid mixer
waaay more often), but I would miss not having it. It's great for slicing potatoes for Scalloped Potatoes, for pureeing almost anything, for shredding large quantities of cheese (for small amounts I just use my hand grater from Goodwill), for shredding zucchini, and even for making some types of dough, like Thin Crust Pizza dough.
I do sometimes see food processors at my Goodwill, so the second-hand market would be worth checking out.
Children's Activities
I was wondering how you feel about signing up your kids for extra activities such as girl scouts, swim lessons, or other such activities, a lot of these can be costly but we all want our children to be well rounded.
I personally work outside the home and have just signed my five year old up for girl scouts but I am wondering if I made a mistake because after working all day and her going to school all day, we are both tired. And adding an activity means alot more driving to get places and just less family time.
(I am already struggling to get her to do the basics with out complaining too much like getting dressed for school or picking up toys.)
Do you think it is good to sign kids up for these activities? It can be costly also. I just wanted your opinion.
-Dawn
I think the answer here will vary from family to family because each family has different variables. I will say, though, that I'm not sold on the idea that being involved in lots of formal activities is required for a well-rounded child. My parents pretty severely limited the number of activities my siblings and I were involved in, and I don't think that was at all detrimental to me....quite the opposite, in fact! I'm grateful for the slower-paced childhood I had and for the large amount of family time we had.
It always makes me a little sad when I see families who feel like they have to have their children in a multitude of activities so that their children won't be scarred...I really think that fear is unnecessary.
Here are a couple of things to consider when a new activity presents itself.
1. Finances
Obviously, if adding an activity puts a strain on the family budget or requires you to go into debt, I would not recommend it. Activities are fun, but I have yet to see an activity that is worth going into debt over.
2. Time
I've read article after article about how modern children are far too over-scheduled, so I think this is an important factor to consider when you're looking at adding an activity.
If the activity will still leave time for chores and homework and family time, that's one thing, but if these things are precluded by the activity, I'd lean towards saying no to it. So few families get to eat dinner together or enjoy evenings at home together, and I don't think most activities are worth giving that up.
It's all about balance, though...I think it's entirely possible to work an activity or two into family life without being out and about every waking moment.
3. Age and Personality
Some children are able to handle outside activities while others are easily exhausted and stressed. When I was 5 years old and my mom put me in kindergarten at a local Christian school, I was a crabby, tired mess. Clearly, an extra activity would have been very bad for me (and in fact, my crankiness was one of the reasons my mom decided to try homeschooling!).
Obviously, not all children are like that, though, so I'd just keep an eye on your daughter. If she seems to be worn out from Girl Scouts, you can always pull her out and try it again the next year.
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Readers, the floor is yours! And don't forget to weigh in on yesterday's Christmas post if you've got a Christmas-related question for me.
Today's 365 post: When you forget to change your white balance...
I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old so I feel for the lady who feels like she runs laps cleaning. What we do is keep an empty bin in each room and twice a day we clean up by putting things in each bin that go in that room. That way we all can clean up quickly and when I'm putting things back in their rightful places, it's already organized by room. We also label shelves and drawers with pictures of what goes in them. It's a great matching skill builder as well as a gentle reminder of where things go. 🙂
If you can keep the 1yr old out of the way the 3 and 4 yr olds should be able to clean-up. We also go for open bins and care more that things are off the floor than in their "correct" places. I give the kids a show right before bed and clean-up time is before show. If they don't clean-up in the 15 minutes of time we have then no show. I've only had to do that once. Also having too many toys can be hard on kids to clean as well. The bins also limit us to what we have (must donate if bins become overfilled).
I'd like to weigh in on the activities question--and apologize in advance for the long comment. 🙂 I was a very activity-driven child. In addition to attending public school, I played an instrument, did three sport seasons (soccer, then basketball, then softball--not all 3 at the same time!), was in Girl Scouts through Seniors, & participated in Youth Group, a volunteer group and various clubs at school (like student council and yearbook). I am so glad I did all these things, and here is why: I found it awkward to socialize as a child. Among other things, there weren't any kids near us in the neighborhood, and I didn't get invited over to my friends' homes much so I didn't see my them outside of our activities very often. Summer months, when most of these activities were on hiatus, were long and lonely for me. Also, my schoolwork was generally too easy, so activities offered additional stimulation. For this reason, I would add to Kristen's very good list of things to consider "What does this activity add that is worth pursuing?" Social interaction? Development of a talent your child enjoys? Does it promote personal qualities you want to encourage, such as volunteerism or being part of a team? Does it put your faith into action? I say this because as Kristen notes signing up for an activity is a commitment, and sometimes you or your child are not going to want to go to scouts or cello lessons or ball practice, and that is when you have to remember why you are doing it. With regards to Girl Scouts, a good troop can be great for a girl. When my BIL and SIL re-located to our town, their daughter struggled in the classroom b/c the schools here are much more challenging than her old school was. Being in Girl Scouts gave her a non-academic place to interact with her new schoolmates, and she really thrived there.
I'm sorry one other note about Scouts (or anything else): if your child finds school to be a drag, having something she loves to look forward to after the final bell can make the day a lot less unbearable!
I agree with Virginia on this one! I participated in tons of activities as a child, and all I remember about them was how much I loved them. I took flute lessons, dance lessons, Camp Fire Girls (similar to Girl Scouts), a synagogue youth group, a volunteerism group, and I'm sure there was more. These are some of my favorite memories.
That said, obviously this would not work for every child, or every family! The point, as both Kristen and Virginia have said, is to think about it from a lot of angles, and make your decisions based on your answers and your priorities. Family time is very important, too. And a 5-year-old may still be a bit young to really enjoy the activity, depending on the kid (of course).
My daughter is a 3-season-sport kid (sometimes 2 sports per season) and she loves the Girl Scouts, too. I have limited her activities to that -- though she also wants to take sewing lessons and cooking classes and join the woodworking club. You can't do EVERYthing, and making choices between activities is part of life, too.
PS: I've found that carpooling is a lifesaver! I don't actually drive my kids to all their activities. We try pretty darn hard to fill up cars with kids. It's better for the environment and it's better for my sanity. 🙂
I agree too. Thechildren you meet could become lifelong friends that share the same interests as you. I think it is actually really important for the child struggling in school or socially. It is about learning time management, prioritizing, learning things your parents can't teach and having teen role models that can still have fun with them while teaching.
We budget for activities for the kids and us. It would be too isolating not to.
As for the cleaning...some children no matter of age cannot handle having too many choices all at once. It's a good idea to rotate toys, split up Lego into smaller containers and let the kids have access to only a certain amount. They can ask for more once they have used all of something upmor mastered the few puzzles out. For some children it is overstimulating and dumping can be a problem with the youngest.
I've had cousins that are in Girl Scouts because their moms found they were having trouble socializing at school (they were teased and one is slightly autistic). However, one of my aunts was a troop leader and had the money to put into it.
An option that can be less costly are activities sponsored by the school. These usually happen in middle and high schools when kids are, supposedly, more responsible. Some have $15-20 fees at the beginning of the year for supplies (ex: clay and paint for art club) but that's less than joining a league or dance school. Some schools even have the late bus to take students home... often in time for dinner.
I'm a lifetime Girl Scout and I haven't found it expensive at all. Membership is $10/year, and there is financial aid or scholarships if you take the time to apply.
I did a ton of fundraisers when I was younger and they were actually REALLY fun! Because of those fundraisers, I got to go on a vacation to Whistler Resort for an entire week with my troop and we didn't pay a single cent out of pocket!
We have a one-at-a-time rule at our house. You play with one toy at a time and you don't get something else to play with UNTIL the current toy is picked up AND put away. My grandson is 15 months and this is working really well for us. We make clean-up a game with us both clapping when either one of us puts the toy in its container.
I made a decision to not get the kids involved in too many out of school organised activities. I had enrolled them in a few things and half the time it was a battle getting them out the door, and wondered who I was doing it for? Was it so I could say my kids were involved in 'this, that, and the other'...... and therefore I was being a conscientious parent? It is different for every family, I can only comment on my own feelings - but currently we just do swimming lessons and one other activity, Cross Country for my Daughter straight after school on their grounds so I just collect later, and Dance Class for my Son (there's no gender stereo typing in my house haha! looks like I have them the wrong way round :-))
I did ballet for 11 years and having boys in dance is soooo nice! Especially if he sticks with it until he's older, he'll have so many awesome opportunities because male dancers are few and far between for smaller schools! Good work!
Thanks Rebecca, he has natural ability - he's only 2 and a half and can sure swing his hips!
Good for him!
There's a little boy (well I guess he's a big boy now!!) who does ballet at my old company. He started when he was four (which is what he'll always be to me!) and he's stuck with it. He's 16 now and is absolutely amazing. He has a 100% chance of getting into a professional company when he's 18 if he wants. Most of that came from his dedication and the fact that we only had 4 or 5 little boys, so they got a lot of individual attention in the boys' classes.
I've been a Girl Scout for 16 years now (and I have lifetime membership, so I'll be one for the rest of my life!). I'm a 3rd generation Girl Scout as well.
I could not thank my mother enough for starting me when I was 5. I've gone to/worked at Girl Scout camp every summer for 13 summers. Camp has taught me so many amazing skills and actually allowed me to put them into practice. I had amazing opportunities to give back to the community and meet people/go places I never would have been able to.
Membership is $10/year and most activities are low-cost or scholarships/financial aid is available.
I'm not saying that it's right for everyone, but Girl Scouts has completely shaped my life. I don't think it's taken away from any family time, quite the opposite. My mother was my leader for 5 years, my sister was in my troop for just as long. It gave me amazing common ground with my grandmother and aunts. My sister attended camp with me every year (not in the same group, but we'd see each other at meals, until we were on staff, then we spent a bunch of time together). You've described your younger two as "oil and water," that was my sister and I to a T!! Camp helped to change that, since we learned to work cooperatively to put others ahead of ourselves.
Just my two cents!
We used to do what we called "ten second tidies". There was a kid's program where the main character would notice a mess, realize it was her mess and then put everything away at hyperspeed. There was fast paced music as a background and the kids thought it was hilarious. So we would do our own version, sometimes just singing nonsense at a ridiculous pace, and the ten second part was, umm, flexible, depending on the size of the mess to clean up. We always "ran out of time" when there were just a couple items left so we could "have to move faster" next time, and they always got put away because the kids were in a positive frame of mind. When things were really out of control, we would take a short break and do it again. We each cleaned up our own things, including me, and the kids thought it was great fun.
Silly, but it worked.
Oooh and as far as dance goes, I did ballet for 11 years. It was very, very, very, very expensive. Once you got to be in the senior company, 5 (2 hour) ballet classes a week were required, along with enrichment classes. My tuition was nearly $2,000 a semester, plus summer camp. Pointe shoes run from about $65-90 a pair, depending on the brand. You can't just choose a less expensive brand, it depends on your feet and how you dance.
By the time I was 15, I was dancing 30 hours a week. The thing is, I loved it. Of course there were days where I was tired and cranky, but you'll get that from anything. Ballet was so much fun and so rewarding, I wouldn't change those 11 years for anything.
Also, I was very lucky because my family of origin is pretty well off, so we could afford it. But just like with Girl Scouts, there were scholarships and supplemental funds.
My parents had a rule about activities: you can do whatever you want, as long as you do your best and don't complain about going. I did ballet for 11 years and Girl Scouts since I was 4/5, and band/orchestra for 7 years. My sister did acting, fencing and choir.
On the survey question - try Google Forms. You can have as many entries as you need and it's a free product. I use it for all of my surveys and it will create graphs for you like Survey Monkey.
i don't know how everyones library is but we have classes and things for all ages that we sign up for. my kids are homeschooled & it's great to sign them up for art classes or globe trotters ( geography) and it's free! the best thing about it is the classes are only once a week for 4 weeks & if we want to take a break, we can. before signing up for another 4 weeks. so it's wonderful & great for the budget. we are also part of a homeschool co-op that my kids take classes from once a week. there are lots of things we can choose from for the semester. it's great socially & it's great b/c it takes some learning activities off of my plate.
I was that mom that didn't encourage all that extra after school stuff activities. Princess did the brownie/girl scout stuff for a few years. But then she moved into the JrROTC stuff which put her in the Raiders program. Sonny boy was quiet and sort of shy, who would have known he was a music genius until he joined orchestra (to offset the PE requirement) in 6th grade. So he's the musician but doesn't do ANY after school stuff, just plays with his band (and yes, they do performances and get paid here and there) ... just recently he looked into joining the jazz band and the drum line BUT he's a senior so it's pretty much done. My thoughts always were eduction is first and foremost. Family time is important. I was NOT going to spend 3 hours of my evenings elsewhere driving here and there waiting and picking up children who should be home, studying and having family time (we used to eat dinner at the same time every night, the 4 of us) ... sometimes I wish I had done it differently, but then I look at other families that are doing it now and see that there is NO family time as a whole. Dad is over here and Mom is over here, they all get home at 9pm and do the McD drive through for "dinner".
That's my family;). Minus the mcd's we prefer Tim Horton's here in Canada.
I was also involved in activities in school, although my parents were more moderate. I was allowed to do 1 "expensive" thing at a time. I did Girl Scouts for a couple of years and then I did ballet for a couple of years. My parents could have afforded for me to do many things, but they were teaching me moderation and to focus on excelling in 1 or 2 things. In the end, I realized that singing was my passion so I spent most of my time doing that. My parents paid for me to travel to competitions every year and supported me 100%. I dabbled in a couple of sports and was active in a couple of clubs that didn't take too much time, but I always stuck with singing. I'm glad my parents let me try different things, but they taught me it was much more important to work hard and excel at 1 thing than only be mediocre at many things.
On the other hand, my brother never became involve in many activities in school. He was very shy and I think he would have really benefited from the social interactions. They encouraged him many times, but he always said no and they never pushed.
My cousin is the exact opposite! She is involved in multiple sports, girl scouts, and even takes cooking classes. She is ALWAYS on the run and spends most of her time focused on socializing rather than her academics. I think the cooking lessons are a little excessive, but she loves being on the go!