Monday Q&A | Adjusting to an Early Schedule and Going Vegan
Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you'd like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line.
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My husband, like yours, recently got a promotion. YAY! But with this promotion came new work hours. He was working 9 am until 6 or 7 pm Monday through Friday. He now works 5 am until 3 or 4 pm. I was wondering if you had any tips for us?
When your family was on this type of schedule, did your older kids go to bed earlier as well? My 11 year old son is having trouble with getting in bed at 9:00 pm.
We are very grateful that my husband got his promotion, especially since there are so many in our area without jobs right now. But, I never thought his schedule change would cause this much chaos.
Thanks for any advice you can offer.
-Kathy
Ooh! That's a hard adjustment, considering that he had such a normal schedule before. I sympathize with you, because that's how it was when my husband started his early hours...he'd had quite a flexible daytime shift before that.
I know just how you feel...being thankful for a promotion or just a job at all, but still feeling a little like, "Ack! What in the world am I supposed to do with these hours???".
When we were on our early hours, Mr. FG and I headed to bed around 8:30, and Lisey and Joshua put themselves to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 depending on the night. Since they're 10 and 12 and can be trusted to do what we tell them, that worked out just fine.
My kids sometimes complained about our early schedule (and they sometimes are unhappy with our current late schedule), but I just gently remind them that Mr. FG and I don't think this is ideal either, and that we've all got to just make the best of it. I also remind them of the upsides of whatever schedule we have, and I remind them (and myself!) that we're really grateful that Mr. FG has a job at all, and we're even more grateful that he got a promotion.
Hang in there! Hopefully you guys will adjust soon.
My usual grocery bill each week wavers in the $100 range. We also get organic produce from a CSA (local farmers). Last week, trying to tighten our belt and make less of an impact on the environment and the world, we decided to leave out the meat and meat products. I was shocked when our grocery bill was only $54! I had not realized the financial impact of buying meat.
Now, I know you buy beef in bulk to save money and support local ranchers, but have you ever considered going vegan or partially vegan? Maybe one or two weeks a month? Have you done this and how did it work?
For us, if we "went vegan" one week a month, we could save $600 a year, which sounds terrific.
-Millicent
Going vegan wouldn't work too well for us, mostly because Mr. FG loathes legumes, and those are a large part of a vegan diet. And I personally would be a very sad person without my butter, milk, cheese, and eggs.
We don't eat a ton of meat, though...generally speaking, our breakfast and lunch meals are vegetarian. Our protein at those meals typically comes from yogurt, cheese, milk, eggs, and nuts.
Though I'm not personally convinced that a vegan diet is the ticket to health, I definitely don't think that animal products have to be present at each and every meal, and if eating vegan part-time works for you, then go for it!
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Today's 365 post: Tiny playing cards
One thing that helped me adjust to a work schedule where I had to be at work at 6am was to "pretend" it was a time zone change. When changing time zones, it is especially important to change your meal times if you want to also change your bed and wake-up times. So if your family has to get up super early, and therefore needs to be in bed early, try to have dinner early, too.
For the 6am job, I had to be up at 4am to get to work on time. Breakfast around 5, lunch around 10:30, dinner right at 5:30 when my husband got home, in bed at 8:00pm. It helped that we didn't have kids at that point, so all of our after-dinner time was spent together.
In high school I had to be up at 5am (bus came at 6:30), and my parents had dinner on the table at 5:30 every day, so going to bed at 9:00 didn't feel quite so early.
Yes, having dinner early helps a LOT! On the nights when I didn't get dinner served until 6:30, bedtime seemed to come so fast, but when we ate at 5:00, our evenings seemed to be much longer.
We recently (within the last 6 months) decided to drop a lot of meat out of our meals. We went from close to $90 a week on groceries to some weeks where we pay $15 or $20 at Aldi. Most weeks though it's in the $30 to $40 range which is still a huge difference. We eat a lot of stir fries and udon. I make massive pots of vegetable chili each month as well, which goes over very well.
Kristen - good for you for retraining your diet. I recently took on the Paleo 30 Day challenge to eating and have had tremendous success with it (more energy, weight loss, ninja-like reflects). The diet aims to extract anything processed, dairy (at least the crappy kind) and anything made with sugar from your tummy. The theory is that our bodies have only been adjusting to the agricultural revolution for say 8,000 years. So grains, sugar and certain types of foods (Quinua) are tough on the digestive tract.
Lots of nuts, seeds, veggies and fruits. Of course there's also plenty of meat. However there's likely some gems on the non-meaty side of that diet that could be useful. My wife reads Robb Wolf's blog on it - you might Google it if you're interested.
We would save a ton of money if we cut out meats.
I read that as "meals" at first. lol! You would save a lot!
As a long-time strict-vegetarian (vegan diet), protein is not a huge issue. A whole foods, Plant-based diet provides plenty of protein, with our without legumes.
Please take a look at Dr. McDougall's link about protein. http://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2007nl/apr/dairy.htm
Best regards,
James
My family is not vegetarian, but when I stopped planning some type of meat for every meal, my grocery bills easily cut in half. I still make sure to cook some sort of meat the nights my husband is home for dinner (he works third shift). Fortunately, my 2-year old LOVES beans of all varieties so it's been a painless switch. And, since the majority of our meals are plant-based, I can be sure we're all getting our veggies. It's been a win-win for our family. (Now if I could get my husband to enjoy sweet potatoes it would be all the better!)
Have you tried sweet potatoes fries for him? They are a hit in my house: cut them up and toss with olive oil, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Throw them on a baking sheet and put them in a 450 degree oven for about 20 minutes, turning once. Yum!
We would save a scary amount of money without meat but I'd have a very unhappy husband.
Maybe twice a week having meatless mains would be a good January challenge?
I find it interesting that so many people save so much money with cutting out meat. I guess we don't eat that much meat to begin with, because we wouldn't have a significant cost savings. The bulk of our grocery bill comes from fresh fruit and vegetables and dairy products. I find the alternatives to dairy more expensive than the real deal.
Yes, I don't think a vegan diet is going to save you a lot if you rely on substitute products...vegan cheese, vegan meat, vegan milk, etc. You'd have to just eat foods that are naturally vegan in order to realize a significant cost savings.
This comment is for Kathy... when our adult son was younger he had an early bedtime. He shared a room with his brother and they both had lights out at the same time. I would go in to check on them before going to bed at 9:30 - 10 pm and still find him "twiddling his thumbs" so to speak. He was just laying there because he didn't require as much sleep as his brother and couldn't fall asleep even with the room dark.
I bought him a small night light and told him he could read till 10pm ... but only read. I know myself when I am tired I cannot read without falling asleep. I figured if he truly couldn't sleep reading was a good use of time and if he was tired he would fall asleep trying to read! He read quite a few books during those years. I remember him reading about the Scottish reformation when he was 9 during those hours. As an adult he lives with his family in Africa as missionaries and still loves to read on his Kindle =)
Being the nosey person I am, I am very interested to hear more about your current schedule. What does your daily schedule look like now? I'd love to see an updated "day in the life" sort of post. Also, I'm very interested about your decision to have your personal schedule closely follow your husband's rather than you're children's- meaning the times you wake up and go to bed- as that is not something I hear of often. Has that changed now that he has such an opposite schedule? How has that affected the quality time you spend with your husband? My brother-in-law works nights and my sister-in-law works days and I'd love to be able to share some advice with them. This schedule is new for them and with a new baby in the mix, I know it must be difficult to maintain a close relationship. Thank you!
We save a ton by substituting other proteins for meat (quinoa, tofu, rice or cornbread and beans to make a complete protein, and of course nuts!). We still love to eat meat, but do use it very sparingly, often going for days without missing it at all. We're doing well health-wise, and this seems to be a good compromise for us. Our kids love beans, too! I'm grateful for that. They get really excited to learn that rice and beans are on the menu! It took introducing them at least 50 times for them to become such a hit, though... My husband is Arabic and loves mujedderah, which is lentils with rice. That is one of our favorite meals, served with yogurt and a simple green salad. This costs very little to make, and is good on an especially tight week!
Kathy, I think you should figure out what is going to work for YOUR family, not try to copy what another family does.
My husband has always worked an earlier-than-most schedule (right now he leaves for work at 5:45 am, which isn't nearly as early as some, I realize). We've made the decision to not get the kids up to have Family Breakfast before he leaves for work. On the other hand, he gets home at the same time the kids are getting home from school, so he can participate in their after-school activities.
Dave and I both get up at 5:15 and I go exercise when he leaves for work. He has a microwave at the office, so I make his breakfast the night before (generally eggs of some sort) and he reheats it once his morning rush slows down and he feels like eating. Our kids go to bed at "normal" time (ie, around 9 for the tweens, later for the teens). The biggest struggle is for Dave and me to get to bed by 10 so we get enough sleep!
I bet if you polled 10 families where somebody starts work early, you'd find 10 different routines! Just tweak things until it works for you. Good luck, and congrats on the promotion!
I haven't read through all of the comments yet, so I may be repeating what someone else said....but, I have heard of alot of people who do "meatless Monday"...perhaps trying one or two days a week of meat free might be a way to save money but not feel as "extreme" to some people as cutting out meat entirely would. We usuually manage 1-2 nights a week without meat and the kids don't usually even notice.
I think it's important to remember that just as we can be socialized into spending money and taking up a consumer role we can be socialized into what we eat. If you and your kids would personally go out and rape an animal and then kill it so that you can have its milk and products, then by all means keep on consuming, but I think there's a huge disconnect between us and our food.
I didn't even go vegan for the animals, but I still feel that if I had a moral problem doing something (rape, killing) then I should not pay someone else to do it for me just so I don't have to look.
Going meatless or vegan one or two nights a week is fine, but is that really what your morals are? Rape, but only sometimes. Killing, but only sometimes.
I know this may be a controversial view to take on here, but I just thought I'd throw it out! Criticism welcome. 🙂
I'm a little confused by the reference to rape here. No one has been raping the chickens or cows that provide the meat I buy.
Also, I think you're making an erroneous assumption here about Pidge...she/he wasn't even talking about animal welfare in her comment.
I personally have no moral problem with the killing of animals for human sustenance...I just want it to be done in a humane manner, and I'd like the animals to be treated well before slaughter as well.
That said, if you DO have a problem with the killing of animals, it would be wise to be encouraging to people who are at least going without meat one or two days a week. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. 🙂
Rape is referring to milk and products made out of milk, not the actual meat. Cows don't just produce milk every day of their life, they have to be forcibly impregnated by a 'rape rack' and subsequently have their calves taken away from them so that the milk can go to us (not something I would personally consider humane). Just like us women don't magically produce milk throughout our lives without having a baby to give it to, neither do animals.
I completely understand you wouldn't have a moral problem with the (humane) killing of animals, but do you think that milk and other dairy products are humane? Just curious as to your viewpoint! 🙂
Well, here's my perspective. I would love to buy nothing but food that is humanely produce by companies/farmers that treat their people humanely as well.
However, that's not currently possible for me and I don't think a vegan diet would make my food completely cruelty free. There are so many vegan foods that are produced by factories/farms that abuse their workers.
So, because I don't want to let the perfect be the enemy of the good, I do the best I can. I buy eggs from a local reader whose chickens live in his back yard and eat his food scraps. I buy beef from a local farmer whose cows graze on his grassy hillsides. I buy unpackaged chicken that comes from a neighboring state. I grow some food, get some from my parents' garden, and frequent farmers markets and produce stands when they are available. And my family and I don't eat tons of meat.
If legal, local milk from happy cows was available, I'd buy it in a heartbeat, but no such thing exists where I live.
So, yes, I think we should try to make sure our food is as cruelty-free as possible, but I don't think a vegan diet is automatically cruelty-free, if you're concerned about human rights as well as animal rights.
Could you provide some examples of vegan foods that are produced by factories that abuse their workers?
There is cruelty-free milk available from where you live-- you can produce almond milk yourself relatively easily.
And to set the record straight, I'm concerned about human rights about ten times more than I am about animal rights.
Well, off the top of my head, sugar, coffee, and chocolate come to mind. There would be no reason for the fair-trade coffee movement if all coffee plantations treated their people well.
My point is that a vegan diet isn't necessarily cruelty-free any more than a non-vegan one is. For example, I would prefer to buy eggs from my local friend than coffee from a plantation that uses slave labor.
As I mentioned before, though, my diet isn't perfectly cruelty-free, but I'm trying my best to move in that direction. 🙂
Sorry, just realized that I ignored your other post regarding fair trade, coffee, etc.
Yes, coffee and sugar are naturally vegan but I was referring to companies that specifically produce vegan products such as soy milk, rice milk, vegan chocolate, veggie burgers, etc. For example, I've never heard of a company that produces veggie burgers getting in trouble for slave labour, etc.
While coffee and sugar are naturally vegan that does not mean that the companies that source/harvest these products are vegan.
And yes, a vegan diet is more cruelty free because it is also concerned with human rights, not just animals. Hence why vegans buy fairtrade and locally. I don't know of anyone that refuses to eat animals, but is perfectly fine with non-fairtrade coffee, sugar, bananas, etc. This also extends to clothing. It would make no sense to be sticking up for the animals only to buy clothes from Wal-mart manufactured by children in India getting paid 3 cents an hour! This is why there has been a surge in vegan fashion alternatives.
Veganism is not only a way of eating, but a lifestyle and so I would definitely argue that it is more cruelty free!
Have a good night.
Gotcha....I was thinking about non-packaged, unprocessed foods that are vegan.
I have some concerns about relying on soy products (mostly having to do with the way they affect our hormones), so those wouldn't be a good option for me.
I think it's great that you're mindful of your clothing purchases...that's something I've been thinking more and more about lately. 🙂
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem killing an animal for food. The problem is that I don't have access to my own animals (and moving somewhere to gain that access isn't an option for us). Therefore, we obtain our meat from a local farmer who also happens to be a family friend. If everyone stopped eating cows and enjoying dairy products, cows would go extinct. I also have NO clue where the rape references in your comment came from. They seem completely bizarre. Would you care to elaborate?
At the risk of sounding too critical, I don't think you're going to win over many (if any!) meat-eaters with your approach. It smacks of judgment instead of "hey, veganism is great and here's why!" Speaking as a former vegan, almost-vegetarian, I agree with Kristen about embracing people's little changes instead of criticizing them for not going far enough.
I'd be happy to elaborate. Female cows are not free to mate with male cows. Ever. They are artificially inseminated. The device used to artificially inseminate them is referred to as a 'rape rack' by the dairy industry. Female cows must become artificially inseminated because they would not naturally become pregnant as often as they do if they were 'in nature' so to speak. Just as us women are not meant to be impregnated and lactate continuously from puberty until death as it would be unhealthy, it is also not so great for a cow. After the cow gives birth the calf is taken away immediately. Cow milk is meant for the calf. Period.
Cows would not go extinct. There are many animals in this world that are not consumed by humans that have not gone extinct. I don't consume squirrels yet they continue to reproduce on their own, just as cows would. Nature is marvelous of taking care of itself that way.
If I am coming across as critical I apologize as I don't intend to be that way! I just think it's interesting that we can all get through high school, college, etc. and not know about this stuff! And I totally include myself in that as I did not become aware until several months ago! 🙂
The thing is, if you want to convert people to your way of thinking, you have to be careful with your choice of words. For instance, if you're against telling kids Santa is real, you wouldn't want to hop on a parenting board and throw around the word "lie" a whole bunch. It would be much more winsome to talk about how you prefer to be completely honest with your children. Stating something in the positive rather than in the negative is usually more productive.
I know you feel strongly about this issue, but you also want people to hear you, right?
People shut down and get immediately defensive when you use inflammatory terms like rape (I know you said the industry calls it a rape rack, but artificially inseminating a cow is worlds different than a man attacking a woman and forcing her to have sex with him.)
Squirrels and cows aren't the same thing. Squirrels can reproduce in my backyard all they want, but if cows started doing it, there would be a problem. Wild land is getting hard to come by, and people aren't going to host cows and other livestock on their land just out of the good of their hearts (in general).
I also think it's interesting that people can live a long time without being aware of these things, but please don't assume that everyone else is uninformed simply because they've made different choices than you did.
And I heartily agree with Kristen than word choice is really important.
I don't have a problem using the word rape if that is what is happening, even in the words of the people that are doing it. In my opinion, the defining feature of rape is that it is non-consensual. If you choose to limit that definitions to humans then that is your choice. I personally don't subscribe to the idea that we can do whatever we want to other living beings just because we feel like it. And like I said earlier, if you would have no problem sticking your own hand into a cow's vagina and then tearing its screaming calf away then by all means continue. My point is this, if you wouldn't do it yourself then don't pay someone else to do it for you. That's really all I am getting at! And I promise I will not be stopping by here again any time soon.
But, see, to use the Santa example, if I told my children that Santa was real when I know he's not, to me, that is a lie.
Just like artificial insemination of cattle seems like rape to you.
If your goal is to get people to see your point of view, choosing your words more carefully will help. I think it's good to not let being right get in the way of being effective.
I know you're young, and when I was 20, I know I hadn't realized this...heck, I didn't figure this out until I was 23-24. And it's ok if you don't want to read my blog. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. 🙂
I understand what you're getting at. Really, I do! And I am not a fan of factory farming myself, which is why I seek out alternative sources for meat and dairy and whatnot. There are a lot of farms which don't use "rape racks," and which allow mothers and babies to still spend time together.
The problem with using words like "rape" in discussions about livestock (at least, right at the beginning) is that most people have their own mental associations regarding rape and that's what they immediately think of, not the point you're trying to make. The comparison also has the unfortunate result of insinuating that non-vegans are rapists, which I don't think is what you were going for.
Ditto. I'm no fan of factory farming either, and as I said earlier, I'm on a journey to make our diets more friendly to the earth and to the people and animals that produce our food. It's just not a simple problem with a simple solution. 🙂
Also, I appreciate the gossip on twitter from you gals. It is very Christ-like.
I have elaborated and accepted your criticisms yet you have not been so accepting of mine due to mere difference of opinion.
As I've said, my issue is not so much that I disagree with you, it's that I disagree with the way you've been presenting your opinions. 🙂
I'm personally not a Christian, so not offended by the "Christ-like" jab. I genuinely don't understand why you said "criticism welcome" and then said you wouldn't be stopping by again. My comments to you have all been perfectly respectful and I have tried to address your criticisms, but all of a sudden you said you were leaving and not coming back. You have elaborated, but not generally responded to criticisms.
We do 3 meatless meals a week and it has cut back substantially on our spending. And for anyone worried about their families missing meat, when you find tasty vegetarian recipes, they rarely notice. My husband was a meat and potatoes guy and he actually enjoys our veggie meals now...so it can be done!
Maybe you could do a post on favorite meatless meals. I'd love to hear everyones recipes.
I have a recipe series called Frugal Meatless Meals, if you're interested! http://catelinden.com/category/frugal-meatless-meals/
I too, have noticed the savings on meat-free meals. My dad was a beef farmer so I ate a lot of meat growing up. Now that I am away from home I just can't afford it. My best tactic for serving meatless meals is just not to announce that it is vegetarian. Let the great taste speak for itself!
Do any of you frugal SIGH "stay at home moms" work a real job, and please do tell me you work from home taking care of kids and home. Its NOT the same, and do any of your husbands have a back bone? Im thinking most of you snagged your men by getting pregnant so you could stay home and dont have to work in the real world.
That is INCREDIBLY offensive.
Firstly, I think you mean '...and please DON'T tell me you work from home....'
Secondly, shouldn't you be at work at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday? 😉
Kristen, don't feel obligate to publish comments like this if you don't want to!
*obligated
I inadvertently published it...it didn't go into moderation. I'll fix that, though. 🙂
Amy, lol i love when a spelling natzi makes a mistake , dont you have diapers to change and a mens wallet to empty or birth control to prick holes in
Lol. Well here's a shocker for ya: I have no desire to have children or be married. And I even pay my own mortgage!
Crazy stuff, I know.
In any healthy relationship, it really doesn't matter who spends the most time raising the children hands-on and who brings the most dollars in. I feel that the work I do here at home gives us a sanctuary to come back to, for our kids to grow in. The work I do to bring in money also has value, but I would never trade these amazing moments in our kids' lives I get to witness. It's worth all the sacrifices both my husband and I make for the better of our family. 🙂
Sorry, guys! I was out running errand with Mr. FG, then I made lunch/dinner/whateverthatmealweeatatnoonis, helped Mr. FG hang up a bracket, cleaned up lunch, and then taught some piano students. So, I haven't been at the computer.
And Mandy's comment wasn't held in moderation, so it just went through without me having to approve it.
Lara Alami lol your a walking cliche, ofcourse you wouldnt trade it for the world, YOUR DOING NOTHING, working out in the real world is a lot different than being a (boring, dime a dozen) stay at home mom,
Mandy, I'm so sorry, but you are going to be put on moderation. If you can comment in a polite, kind, constructive way, I'll be happy to approve your comments, but all of your comments thus far have not met those criteria.
Mandy, it's " you're". That is just so sad!
I work, for money, and stay home part time. My parents help with taking care of the kids while I am at work. What's up with the weird comments? Angry much? I hope you feel better after that spelling mess (vomit) of a paragraph. Good luck getting any sort of job with those communication skills, friend.