Miscellany for a Wednesday!
Last night my mom shared this article from The Atlantic about the lack of free, unstructured playtime in children's lives. I found it fascinating to read about the increase in time that children are spending at school, doing school work, and shopping with parents and even more fascinating to read about all the benefits of something as simple as free playtime.
I think it's kind of funny how often I read about studies that point out the benefits of time-worn, common-sense practices like eating meals together, hugging a spouse, reading to children, and sending them outside to play. It almost seems silly that we need studies to tell us these things, but I suppose we do if these habits are slipping out of our everyday lives.
As a child, I thought that one of the most fabulous things about homeschooling was the amount of playtime it afforded me* (what kid wouldn't get behind that??), and after reading the article, I'm wondering if the hours I spent in the woods, at the park, or at home playing with my dolls are part of the reason I'm a happy adult.
(*if you worry that homeschoolers sacrifice education for play time, my post about homeschooling and efficiency may allay your fears)
I'm so thankful that I'm in a position to be able to offer that relaxed, plenty-of-time-for-play lifestyle to my own children.
Interestingly enough, I think my attitude about free play is what made me instinctively resist the sort of plan advocated in 168 Hours, where the author pretty much holds up a "mom and dad work all day while out-sourcing childcare and other household tasks" life as the ideal. I would so much rather live frugally and do my own household chores so that I can provide my children with the schedule space for exploring the world in an unstructured environment.
(because this subject is such a hot topic, let me offer two disclaimers: One, I realize that not everyone is in a situation where a parent can stay home...I am privileged to be able to do so. Two, I'm not against structure in the home or structured activities within reason...what does make me sad is the almost total loss of free time that so many children experience. When I hear about children who leave their homes at 6:30 am, return at 7:30 pm, and then have to eat dinner and do homework before bed, I almost want to cry for them.)
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On a related note, here's a list Sonia recently made, titled "List of fun things to do"
In order from top to bottom, complete with second-grader spelling and backwards numbers:
1. Bubls (blowing bubbles)
2. Origami
3. Play-Doh
4. Play balls (playing with the glitter balls they bought at Goodwill)
5. Roller-blad (roller blading)
6. Shine rocks (sometimes the girls wash rocks and add glitter and glaze to them)
7. Smash rocks (this made me laugh! My kids like to smash rocks with a hammer to see what they look like inside.)
8. Cut magazin (they cut pictures out of old magazines)
Numbers 9 and 10 are blank, but clearly, drawing cakes should be on there somewhere. 😉
I love this list so much...there's not an activity on there that I'd object to (they're pretty much all non-consumery, non-electronic activities), and it was written entirely without my input.
I think the author of that article above would be happy to see Sonia's list. 🙂
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Our new schedule is working out nicely so far. We're getting enough sleep, loving life without a 4:40 am alarm clock, and enjoying having Mr. FG home in the mornings (we used the morning time on Monday to go get pumpkins together).
We've had a few hiccups here and there as we've adjusted to our lives being turned almost upside-down, but the advantages of this new routine vastly outweigh the disadvantages so far.
Plus, Mr. FG is SO much happier doing the different work that this promotion brought, and I could practically cry joyful tears over that. Yay!
Also, he got word last week that this promotion did indeed come with a raise (that was a little unclear at first), so that's another happy thing. We've been talking about what exactly we'd like to do with this money, and when we get his first new-salary paycheck, we'll sit down together and decide where it will go.
On the discussion list: things like paying down the mortgage, giving more money away, adding a bit to the grocery budget, and furthering Mr. FG's education.
Not on the discussion list: things like more shopping, more eating out, a cable TV package, and fancy cell phones.
In other words, as usual, we're going to try our best to use this money wisely, and we're not going to inflate our lifestyles (although we're not opposed to some sort-of lifestyle inflation).
Oh, and since so many of you have asked, I promise I'll do a post on how we're managing this new, odd schedule once we've had a little more time to get used to it.
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Soon, I'm doing a giveaway from Cook's Illustrated.
Sometimes, I kind of have to pinch myself because it's hard to believe that I get to work with a company I adore so ardently. Oh, blogging. How I love you and the opportunities you bring my way. Mwah!
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Today's 365 post: Do you recognize this dress?
Joshua's 365 post: A Sad Day
1. I completely agree about giving children free time. I think that is one of the reasons I can find ways to fill time when I am waiting in line or in a car or at a doctor's office. I am glad my parents let my imagination and creativity grow!
2. I like budgets. They make me think about what I have and what I am spending money on. And I think they make me a more cheerful giver...
3. I love cookbooks. I only have a few good ones. I borrow all sorts from the library. The ones that I like to keep in the house are the ones that have basic recipes and instructions how to do things.
Loved your post...is that Christopher Kimball's signature?? I'm such a fan. Can't wait to hear about the giveaway.
No! I haven't gotten quite that lucky yet. It's the signature of Steph Yiu, their social media maven. 🙂
I agree with you about the kids who leave at 6:30 and come home at 6 or 7. I feel so bad for them. My mil and fil work at a kids gym and during the summer they have camps and some kids are there all day long. I am so blessed I can stay home and homeschool.
So glad to hear that the new schedule is working well! And yay for happier husbands...mine has had to work jobs that he didn't particularly enjoy and I know how difficult it can be to see your guy go through that.
I agree completely about the need for playtime. Lack of playtime exists everywhere...even schools are eliminating recess! I was a single Mom who raised 2 generations of children working full time as a teacher. My youngest, my granddaughter, did stay at aftercare at school, but they had a dedicated playtime outside for 1 1/2 hours before doing homework. In the evenings at home, she read, colored, danced and helped me cook and on weekends there were many visits to the playground and various festivals in our city. Even if both parents work and children go to school, life can be enriched enormously with very little effort.
I completely agree about unstructured playtime! I feel so lucky that my mom valued free time for kids, because I spent so many hours using my imagination and just playing. For sure, having a mom who stayed home and also homeschooled made that much easier, but even years later when my sister and I were in public school, my parents had divorced, and my mom had returned to working outside the home, we weren't lacking for time to play! I'm very grateful that my parents never over-scheduled me.
This post makes me feel better. I know it is ok that my son isn't in several sports/activities/lessons, but when you hear what all the other kids do, you think, is he missing out? He plays, draws, explores with kids in the neighborhood, and I think overall is well adjusted. My brothers and I didn't do a lot of structured stuff and I think we turned out ok. I agree if you can have one parent at home, it is very nice.
Yep, I hear you! It's nice to hear that unstructured play is important too, not just formal activities.
Congrats to Mr. FG and your fam on his promotion!
Love Sonia's list. So cute. And I like the post and think that all kids today could benefit from some unstructured play.
Hear, Hear! I didn't homeschool but was fortunate to be home for most of my daughter's kidhood and I would not trade that for anything. I totally get that many families are 2 income and of course, that is a fine option. Either way, the lure of lessons, "enrichment," etc., is ever more extreme. My childhood was WAY unstructured after school let out and these are happy memories. I do believe this contributes to my happiness and ability to find contentment in really small, silly activities that are also frugal. LOVE Sonia's list -- it tells the story of a happy, enriched childhood -- all kids should be so lucky!
On another note -- Did (gasp, gasp) Christopher Kimball sign your Cook's Illustrated? Or one of the ladies on the show? Couldn't make out the signature on the note -- either way, how cool!!
Sometimes it is a weird world we live in that letting your child be a child(kid) is almost considered negligent or abuse. 🙂 My son loves to dig up worms in the garden and create 'worm' homes for his best buddies! I used to feel that I was depriving him, (ie friends signing their child up for every know activity or taking them to Disney world by age of 3, etc) but the more I see his imagination level increase, etc, I know how we are raising our son is the right way for us. I think a lot of parents sometimes get caught up with 'keeping up with the Jones' especially when it comes to their kids. Great article.
"Mr. FG is SO much happier doing the different work that this promotion brought, and I could practically cry joyful tears over that. Yay!"
This made me smile so much 🙂
So glad the new routine is working out. Here's to happy husbands, happy, playful kids and happy families 🙂
I like the Wednesday miscellany, but I miss Wednesday baking! Especially now that winter is coming and baking is way more appealing,
Me too!!
I too raised my kids this way, with lots of free time. I remember my son and his best friend played a game while they waited in line anywhere in school, called "Super-Wormy". SW was "just" a crooked finger! When he could wear a cape, so much the better, but with or without, he was a game they could drop into at a second's notice, for however short or long. My son also drew comic strips featuring Super Wormy. So funny and cute!
I didn't homeschool, being too young to trust myself with it, but it would have been vastly better. When my youngest (inventor of Super Wormy) started getting teased really badly at school, I did homeschool him for three years, and it was the best thing I ever did. I, like you Kristen, am a piano teacher, so I could be with him in the day and teach after school. This is why all my kids would have been better off this way. Oh well!
Awesome column, and I love your blog.
Kristen,
Oy! Love you, but this is getting a bit hard to take...your life is filled with concentrated learning for your kiddos, lots of lazy days recreating in local parks, and tons of play time. As you said, not everyone's life is as fortunate as yours. I do have to work full-time. I prefer the days that your posts make me feel good about my life, instead of envious. I'm sure this won't be your favorite comment of the day--but it is honest.
Karen
Karen,
How Kristen's posts make you feel is not her fault especially when they're written simply to be cheerful. Feelings are a choice, so you can always choose to look at somethibg differently and feel another way. I'm a million percent sure that she does not in any way intend to make people feel envious or upset, but rather to encourage finding joy in small things. I do hope you find some happiness today.
Amy
You are 1 million percent correct that her post wasn't meant to make me feel anything negative. Kristen is ALWAYS 100% CHEERFUL! and Uplifting. I get that. I just wanted to share my feelings, which is what I did. Whether I should, or shouldn't, have those feelings I do have them.
Karen
Also, I never blamed Kristen or said that my feelings were her fault. I also know from Kristen's previous posts that she isn't expected that every comment left on her blog doesn't have to be 100% in agreement and cheering her on. I am sharing honest feelings. I'm entitled to do that.
I never said you're not entitled to your feelings or to voicing them. But the way it was worded did seem a bit like you were blaming her ("this is getting a bit hard to take"), my mistake if that wasn't truly the case.
Karen,
I also work fulltime outside of the home, but I am also a full time mom. When I started reading blogs written by stay at home moms I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and start plotting and planning how I could stay home. I make a considerable amount more than my husband and I carry the insurance so it would be tough. My kids are young 2 and 4 and another on the way in the Spring. I could walk away from my job, but would that be in the best interest of my family? At the moment no. Also, my kids are really happy and I take steps like getting up early to start dinner and do some chores so my evenings and weekends are filled with the activities Kristen describes. Sorry for the long winded reply, but I guess the short answer is we're moms and we all do what we have to do for our families. What works for Kristen doesn't work for everyone. She has a beautiful family but so do I and I'm guessing you do to. Besides bloggers are notorious editors -- go read some of her baking fails. 🙂
Michelle, THANK YOU!!!!! Your post made my day 🙂
Awe I'm so glad. Tough crowd. I think we can all agree Kristen is amazing. However, I read her blog for inspiration not to become her carbon copy. I can see how on a tough day (remember folks you never know what's going on in a person's life) it's easy to feel like with everything we do it's never enough. I think maybe Karen was having one of those days. Maybe we moms need some more free play too and a little less structure too.
"Maybe we moms need some more free play too and a little less structure too." YES...YES...YES!!!!!
I agree with you, Michelle, and I'm delighted that you are able to see the beauty in your own life, even though it's different than mine. THAT'S the message I'm trying to get across...we've all got good things and bad things in our lives, and focusing on and making the most of those good things is what makes life sing. 🙂
Also, I think it's great that you're mindful of helping your kids to have free time.
Karen, I think free time for moms is good too. In fact, that was the point of my post yesterday about the park. Sometimes it's good to leave the work behind and just go have fun with your family. 🙂
Karen, if I may point out, I think you misread Kristen's post. She is advocating play time for children, not parents. I'm sure that while the kiddos are having playtime, most of the time Kristen is busy doing what she always does - making bread or yogurt, preparing for dinner, reviewing lesson plans and homework, laundry, etc I could go on and on! As my own SAHM used to say, "My day is not filled with watching TV and eating chocolate bonbons!" It's because Kristen is so organized and such a hard worker that there are times when she is free to play with her children. I know we all love Kristen which is why it's hard to hear that anyone could think she has "lots of lazy days."
I never said she was lazy?????
Karen, I'm just wondering about this- "I do have to work full-time." Kristen does, too. She is raising 4 children, homeschooling all of them, running this blog (which is surely a job, as it brings in income and she creates quality content, wrote an e-book, etc.) and she is the primary person responsible for cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and running the house, on top of her photography and piano lessons. I think this comment "your life is filled with concentrated learning for your kiddos, lots of lazy days recreating in local parks, and tons of play time." is perhaps a bit of an over-simplification of Kristen's day to day life, based on the last few posts. In the big picture, I think Kristen has a job that certainly qualifies as full time. The last few posts, in a vacuum, might seem idyllic and charmed- promotions! park days! playtime! Aldi trips!- but in the big picture, this is not day to day life.
Anyway, this isn't to make you feel bad for what you said, I'm just trying to maybe point out that maybe you shouldn't feel bad or be envious, because I think you might just be tunnel visioning on these last few cheerful/good news/happy day posts, and *perhaps* forgetting the overall picture of Kristen's life. I certainly do not think that waking up a 4 a.m. every morning, raising/educating 4 children, running several side businesses, and being a homemaker are necessarily "cushy" jobs, you know?
Naaah! Kristen is homeschooling her always happy cheerful kids, while fresh bread and cookies bake in the oven, everyone is smiling...then, the bluebirds and friendly mice come into her room and fancy up her dress, as her fairy godmother waves her wand and her husband takes her out for a date night and her cute cherubs sleep all snug in their beds and their doting grandmother watches over them. This is what Kristen's life is like every single day 😉
I guess this post definitely needs to be seen as a glimpse into someone's life, and an inspiration.
Kristen does an awful lot, and she tries to post both sides of the story (her office gets messy, laundry doesn't always get done on time, sometimes dinner doesn't taste great, kids get sick, kids throw tantrums, she fights with Mr. FG, she needs a vacation for just herself away from the kiddos; and on the flip side, she also bakes, cooks, cleans, takes her kids to the park, tries to work out, eats healthy, visits with friends and family, takes photos and plays piano, homeschools her kids, etc.).
I think the "but this is getting a bit hard to take," is the part that rubs me the wrong way. I have a feeling this might just be that you are envious and frustrated. She's not saying you aren't doing enough for your kids. But maybe in reading her post, it will allow you to reinforce your own values and decisions or glean new options! that's the brilliance of blogs. They're all someone's opinion and insight and you can choose what to take from them 🙂
Nope...her life is perfect, and the models we see in magazines really do look that flawless all the time in real life 😉
Hey, Karen. I'm sorry that you're having a hard day. I hope it gets better (dark chocolate always does the trick for me!)
Could I kindly ask, though, what you were hoping to accomplish with your comment? I'm trying to understand what it is you are wanting me to change.
My blog is a practical outworking of my "Look for the good" philosophy. There are hard things in my life (cough * husband's work schedule *cough, plus plenty of other things that I don't feel compelled to blog about), but just because I choose to make lemonade out of lemons doesn't mean everything in my life is fabulous and easy.
Here's the thing. People are pretty darn good at being negative and crabby all on their own, so I don't feel like I need to write negative, crabby blog posts. The world doesn't need more of that...it needs more positivity and good cheer, and that's my goal when I blog.
I'm sorry my post didn't make you feel cheerful.
It was just the stark contrast. Yesterday's post showed numerous relaxing times of the FG family at the park post. Followed by today's post showing the oodles of free time your kids have because you home school. Then, contrasted with the 3 exams my son has this week becauses it's the end of the marking period. That's what made these two posts not particularly "cheerful."
Hmmmm...and you didn't feel compelled to respond to my "bluebird" post???? 😉
Actually, those pictures were from two Sunday outings to the park. We take Sundays off to relax and do fun things (I think I wrote about that in my leisure post from the productivity series.)
My kids have free time not just because we homeschool but because we also purposely don't involve them in a lot of extra-curricular activities. I've definitely known homeschooling families that run here and there and everywhere. I think having a slower-paced lifestyle is more a result of an overall life attitude than of a particular school choice...people who want to live fast-paced lives will do that no matter how they school their kids!
I hope your son's exams go well.
What's interesting about that is my son has three activities outside of school: school of religion which is a must, bowling on Sunday evenings with his dad (a father son league) which he loves, and tennis on Thursdays after school. Then, recently he wanted to restart guitar lessons which he did last year. I took a deep breath and said, okay...but I want to see you playing guitar for the next week or two. Today, he told me that guitar lessons would probably be the one thing too many. Sigh of relief from mom here. Not that playing guitar would be bad--all of these activities are good activities. But when you're doing too many of them at once it doesn't leave free time. Last year, he learned to read music by playing guitar, and he can now just play when he feels like it for fun!
I guess I'm still confused about how, in your mind, I should fix this ("this" being the contrast issue you brought up). Were you thinking you wanted me to blog more about the negative things in my life? Or to simply have a more negative attitude? Or not talk about the happy things in my life?
Kristen,
You don't need to change anything. Michelle's posts totally nailed how I was feeling. If you re-read what she said, you'll totally understand.
It's kind if like if I was the blogger and you were a daily reader--and just as your husband left you for another woman, I had several daily posts about all of the wonderful gifts and nice things my husband was doing for me. You might now want to hear it, just then 😉
Karen
Karen - It seems like you're maybe just feeling a little overwhelmed right now and have fallen into that horrible trap of either envy or comparing yourself. There are times when I read Kristen's blog and wish I had her ability to time manage so well and to structure my day so well, but I don't let it get me down. I read her blog, because it reminds me to be cheerful about my own life, even though it's completely different. I'm happy that she's happy. Comparing your life to someone else's will get you down every time! I have an adopted daughter that has some pretty severe emotional problems, and I catch myself sometimes being jealous of people who have "normal" kids and don't have to deal with the issues I have to deal with, but I quickly change my thinking, because I would go insane if I spent time dwelling on what I don't have. I HAVE to focus on what I do have and what's good in my life.
The Frugal Girl is about being frugal of course, but also about putting your focus on the positive. I would certainly be more than happy to give Kristen encouragement if she was going through a hard time or needed to vent, but I love to read her posts that are light-hearted and show the bright side of her life. It's a daily reminder to do the same in my own life, and believe me, I need it!
I hope you find some fun moments for yourself soon, so you'll start to feel better. I know those overwhelming times in life are hard. When I'm feeling overwhelmed or sad, I just try to remind myself of what I've already come through in my life and that all that is swirling around me at that moment will soon be a distant memory. Hang in there, girl!
Rebecca--awesome post. Thank you!!!! 🙂
Thank you, Rebecca P. I needed to hear what you said about focusing about what we have rather than what we don't. I NEEDED that today.
Sarah - Girl I feel ya! We all have those days...weeks...months. It never hurts to be reminded to slow down and appreciate the small stuff. That' s why I love this blog! It's a daily reminder for me to simplify and stop and notice the things that I might otherwise over look. Hang in there girl! You made it through yesterday, and you're going to make it through today too! There are some days, when my daughter is REALLY bad, and I don't think I can make it, but I just have to calm myself and remind myself of what I've already made it through....one step in front of the other....keep my focus on the positive.
With all due respect, Karen, it seems as if you have missed a lot of Kristen's posts! And the spirit and intent with which she writes and photographs!
I type this after just folding away the washing and cooking dinner whilst my two are playing the 'Mamma Mia' soundtrack at full blast, and sharing a harmonica whilst devising 'shows' for me to watch. I may be doing chores but I get to share their playtime - albeit I'm not an active participant! I'm going to be checking out that article, I'm not sure how much it covers re shopping, but I am seriously scared at the amount of retail therapy Kids are exposed to, and the amount of electronic gadgets that are purchased to 'babysit' the kids when they are at home. I'm no saint who is? but common sense tells you to let them enjoy what you did as a kid, and that was mud-pies, exploring, making things, singing, dancing...
ps - love that Sonia put Origami on the list! This week I have been tasked to remember back to my own childhood to make 'Flicker Flackers' with my 6 year old - which she calls 'Chatterboxes'. No idea what they are really called!
What are Flicker Flackers??
Someone said they are called 'fortune tellers'? You flick and flack back and forth with fingers holding an origami contraption ask questions and turn over the paper to reveal answers - does that make any sense?
I was wondering about the flicker flackers too! LOL I actually remember doing that when I was a kid. That really took me back.
My family has actually lived both lifestyles. I worked outside of the home for most of my daughters childhood and she played every organized sport there was. Now, I am a SAHM and my son does not want any part of sports. I believe that our family is so much more peaceful without the running around. Sometimes it was 11:00pm before we would return from games, if they were far away. It actually seems we have more money and are happier with the simple lifestyle. We are more careful with money, cause there is only one check coming in. Just found your blog 2 weeks ago and I love it!!! My daughter, who is 20 now, said she wished she would have not gave up so much of her teenage years to organized sports. She wished she would have just enjoyed her teenage years. I guess with age comes wisdom!!
I love your optimism, Kristen. Seeing parts of your life via your blog is wonderful. I enjoy that you showcase the good and help to raise the spirits of those around you. I know not everyone sees it that way, but please know that to most, your intentions are well spelled-out and executed.
Her intentions are pure to me, too, Amy.
Thank you, Amy. I'm really glad that my blog lifts your spirits!
It absolutely does. In fact, your recent posts with lots of pictures of smiling people has done wonders for the rough patch I'm going through, so thanks. 🙂
I feel the same way when I read other cheerful blogs...it just lifts me up!
Great post Kristen. I have been the one with the kid that left the house at 6Am and returned at anywhere from 5-8 pm. I recently came home to be with my kids (17,8,3) and homeschool two of them. I often wish I could have done this earlier but feel so very blessed that we are able to do it now. I have been home for almost 4 months now and it is great. My oldest is a senior in public school but the other two are home with me. Being home her senior year also means I have not missed out on any of the things that have gone on at school. When I was working things were always the last minute and working in healthcare and 30 miles from home, I couldn't just get off or leave work to drop in.
We have our somewhat relaxed structured school time and plenty of time for free play. My 8 year old does do Karate and play softball but with our efficient school days she still has large amounts for free play, reading or whatever she would like to do. I would love to tell anyone considering staying home that my family is happier now, I am happier now, things run better now and we spend less money. We had figured up what it "cost" for me to go to work and it was over 40% of my take home. This was not just gas, but wear and tear on a vehicle, daycare, after school babysitting, many nights we ate out because we were too busy or late to cook , had no food in the house, lack of menu planning and so much more. My stress level was increased which had a bad effect on my family. I know it is not possible for everyone but if you can cut some things or work hard to pay things off and want to do it you will be so happy you did.
There are days where G and I laugh because we feel so old, and we're not even 30 yet! Both of us were raised with plenty of free time, plenty of outdoor time, and of course, while we attended public schools it was when there was plenty of recess and gym to burn off energy and be creative. I really feel sorry for kids these days where it's up early, t.v., school, then classes because a parent feels their child needs more to get ahead. Speaking as people who've had relative success with simpler lives, that's not necessarily true.
I think kids are pushed so hard to succeed that they are failing to learn life's lessons, so the world seems topsy turvy to me. The idea that a child should be allowed to do whatever, whenever, without consequences bugs me. We've had to talk about how to respond when our daughter asks why she can't do something that someone else can, because we plan to raise her to be a creative exploring child who understands that she can't just get everything she wants. I hope she thanks us later for giving her a childhood!
I had more free time when Iwas in school than they have nowadays I think. Ihad homework but nothing that took me from the time I got home til bedtime to finish. now they offer seminars for creative thinking and how to think outside the lines...so many are cookie cutters in business nowadays that they can't think except to follow formulas. I wish I'd had even more free time. I've never homeschooled and some people I know who have I just didn'tt hink they were cutting it but that's not to say it's that way for all..I never had kids but I did consider homeschooling if I did for the reasons you mentioned. I wasted a lot of time in school because it's geared to the same pace - if I caught on faster I twiddled my thumbs while the slower kids caught up and they wre only given so long to do so but still...then when I could've used more time or a different approach I was rushed it seemed. I look through donorschoose now(teachers post projects they want funded) and I'm envious at some of the learning activities they do now - growing a garden, learning to cook, math games..sheesh! but all that time I was sitting around waiting I could have been outdoors doing something and could have if I'd been homeschooled.
I have a question for you, Kristen - do your kids participate in group activities outside of your home? My husband and I just had our first child (Oliver is 2 weeks old today) and we have been discussing the pros and cons of homeschooling versus public schooling. (Planning WAY ahead, I know.)
We both agree, there are many benefits to homeschooling - but my husband is concerned that our son wouldn't have enough opportunities for social interaction with his peers. Did you and Mr FG ever discuss this when you made the decision to homeschool your kids? What was your solution?
Thanks!
As a homeschool "graduate" myself I can vouch for the almost limitless opportunities for homeschooled kids to socialize. Sometimes I think my family and my friends socialized a bit too much, and certainly more than our public-schooled peers.
Because, as Kristen has mentioned, homeschooling is more efficient, there's more time for fun things, even when they're educational too! There are also (depending on where you live) homeschool co-ops where a group of homeschoolers get together and learn collectively, support groups where parents can meet other homeschooling families, etc. etc. etc.
There are a lot of pros and cons to homeschooling, but usually limited socialization isn't a danger. I'd encourage you to look into what opportunities and social resources are in your area.
We're due with our first next month, so I completely am with you on the planning ahead. I recommend looking for homeschooling co-ops in your area. I know people who participate in them and love them! It's a way to get help teaching subjects you might feel iffy on, while socializing the children and making friends!
Tamera - I remember asking the "socialization" question before I started homeschooling. Lol! You would NOT believe how much stuff there is out there for homeschool kids! There's no way we could ever participate in all the opportunities. Start reading some of the forums and blogs out there. Also search for homeschool groups and co-ops in your area. Plus there's always the kids on your street, church friends, cousins, grandmas, aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc, etc, etc. Just because public school lumps everybody by age group doesn't really mean that's the only way to socialize and have friends. My kids love going down the street and visiting their Nana and Papa everyday.
Also! If you know you want to homeschool, you can start participating as soon as he's ready. You don't have to wait until he's kindergarten age to take him to homeschool park days or gym days, etc. There is TONS of support out there.
I also have a full-time job outside the home, and my kids are in school/daycare from 8:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. But please don't assume that kids in this arrangement aren't getting lots of free time. I specifically choose school and after-care programs with curriculum that includes lots of free time, because I, too, feel this is important. When we get home from work/school, we don't have a lot of time and I do have a lot of things to do in a short period of time. By I also try to organize myself so that my kids have a chance for some unstructured play at home. And we don't overindulge in organized activities for this very reason.
I think what rubs the wrong way sometimes is the phrase, "I feel sorry for people who . . . " I know the intention is good, but it makes a judgement that suggests people who haven't made the same choices as you should be pitied. It stings a little. Kristen has always been very positive and forthcoming about her choices and how they work best for her family and jive best with her philosophy. Her lens is her own experience and she always does a great job in not assuming what is best for her is best for everyone. For that, I'm very grateful! And it's why I keep coming back, despite the fact that my lifestyle is probably the antithesis of what she would want for her family.
Thanks Beth. You put into words the thoughts and feelings I had after reading the post.
I agree with Beth and Martha - comments that start with "I feel sorry for...", "my heart breaks for", " makes me want to cry for them" and the like, whether from Kristen or other commenters, feel a little judge-y.
I think it's awesome that you're making sure your kids have free time even when they're at school and after-care...I know that they'll look back on that free time with fond thoughts.
Just so you know, a situation like yours isn't what I had in mind in my little disclaimer...I'm thinking more of a situation where the ENTIRE day is jam-packed with organized, structured activities and there's no down-time. It sounds like you're making sure your kids have down-time and that's what matters.
Yes, you said it. I love this blog, but you shouldn't "cry" for my child who goes to school while I work. And, yes, I understand her post, I know she has a heart of gold and that she wasn't trying to be hurtful. But this is also how I felt.
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. To be clear, I'm not talking about all working parent situations. I'm talking about kids who never have any down time. Regardless of the reasons for a lack of downtime, I do feel sad for a kid that never has any free time.
But I don't at all think that every kid of every working parent is in that situation. 🙂 A lack of free time can happen in families with a stay at home parent just as well as it can happen in a home where both parents work.
This is my first time to comment after reading your blog for the last year.
I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your blog and am always very eager to read it. I am a 33 year old stay at home mom to a 13 and 11 year old. I also started homeschooling them this year. So I always find your posts to be inspiring and very relevant to my life. Keep up the great work!
A de-lurker! YAY!! I love it when people come out of hiding. 🙂
My son is almost 3, and we're REALLY debating on whether or not to homeschool. Actually, I'M debating. His dad is all about putting him in public school. We're both public schooled and neither of us are worse for wear. With that being said, public school is soooo different now than when I was a kid. I've done classroom observations for a teaching degree and the ONLY kids I saw at recess were pre-schoolers. Most of the schools have a recess period at the end of the day for around 20 or so minutes. But up until I was in 8th grade we had 2 or more 20 minute recesses PER day. I don't really like the idea of sending my soon to be pre-schooler to a school that doesn't allow for creative play.
Yay for husbands having a job that they enjoy better! I know I can't wait until Mr. gets a job he likes better. 🙁 I know when he comes home in pain and tired, it's hard to see him in such ways. I'm also glad that everyone is adjusting well to Mr. FG's new schedule. 🙂
Sonia's list looks like great fun! 😀 And her cakes look yummy! 😀
I hear you! I'd feel the same way if the school didn't have enough free play time built into the day.
Just to encourage you, studies have shown that the most important factor in educational success is not homeschooling or private schooling or public schooling, but rather parental involvement. So, even if you end up needing to send him to public school, make sure that you stay involved in his education. 🙂
I am just sad that anymore children can't be children and they are required to be little adults from such an early age. And schools that don't facilitate that is a little upsetting to me. And now everything that can't be tested is being removed or pushed back in our school system. (where I live, I can't speak for other places.) The art of penmanship is forgotten, music and art has taken a back burner and if it doesn't come on the tests, it's not studied. And this makes me feel badly for both the student and the teacher. It almost kills whatever creative flow the teacher has to teach in his/her classroom.
And whatever we decide to do with him, I intend on being very involved in his education. As a matter of fact, I have his speech therapist give us "homework" so we can practice his sounds at home. (Though, I must lack her magic touch because he just giggles and runs away saying "NOOOOOO!" when I try. )
Kristen - I'm glad you mentioned this; as I believe this is the crux of the matter. Without sufficient parental involvement, no form of schooling will generate success. As a former educator, it is my opinion that the reason schools have to cut so many things nowadays is, in part, because teachers & administrators have to pick up the slack of parents who aren't involved & aren't supportive of the education process.
Homeschooling can't and won't work for every family; but that's not to say that nothing gets learned at home. Our kids are having fun these days exploring the U.S. map & learning state names because we, as parents, are having fun introducing them to it.
Kristen says she feels privileged and grateful to be able to homeschool and be a SAHM. Other women feel grateful to be able to work at a different job and both are OK as long as they work for the woman and her family and I read Kristen's words as acknowledging that. I would never have been able to homeschool (my daughter is 30 now). I would have HATED it and it would have been terrible for her. I started college when she started 1st grade and went through grad school, working at universities and colleges, and doing research while doing the mom thing and my husband worked graveyard shift, so by middle school, he was the one going to school conferences and stuff. I never felt guilty because I knew that I was a good role model for her. I went through my undergrad graduation ceremony especially because I wanted her to see that. At the same time, I knew that there were other excellent role models for their daughters who were SAHMs. I did it for 6 years and was miserable--room mother, PTA president and all the rest. It would have awful for everyone else involved--not just our family--had I continued down that path. Doing thesis research on the ideology of motherhood helped me understand how much we are impacted by culture, but I realized that it is up to each one of us to make our own life choices within the circumstances we are dealt. I can't remember who said, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," but i think it's good to remember. Maybe it was Eleanor Roosevelt? Anyway, just because someone says something is good for them, does not mean they are making a value judgement about anyone else's life. I work with people to record their life stories and it is amazing how different lives can be--not better or worse, necessarily--just different from mine. I love those stories!
Yes, Shari, that quote was from Eleanor Roosevelt. It's one of my favorites. I think it's a great one to keep in mind when reading blogs. Sometimes reading the eternally happy, crafty, baking mommy blogs gets tiring for a full-time working single girl who longs for a husband and family. But I know that no one is writing (or at least I hope they aren't) their blog to make me feel about myself. The only person who can make me feel about myself is me.
It sounds like you have a great outlook on how you raised your daughter. My mom both work and stayed at home when I was growing up and she was a great role model on how to balance work and family.
Loved this post today, as I do nearly every day. I follow and unfollow lots of blogs, but frugal girl has been a consistent read for me for at least a year or more. This is also the first time I've ever posted a comment on a blog, but was thinking about this post a lot today so decided to finally take the plunge! My husband and I had our first baby 9 months ago and after a move from a very expensive area to live to a city with a much more reasonable cost of living, we were able to manage to have my husband stay home with our daughter. It's a sacrifice for us, for sure, but we felt it was best for us and our family. Kristen - you're really so kind and considerate when you blog and go out of your way to state that your family is fortunate to be able to allow you to stay home with your kids. As someone who recently went to having one parent stay home, I get a bit tired of having to act like we're so darn fortunate to have this arrangement. We are fortunate, but we also work really hard at it and sacrifice a whole lot. I know you do, too, and really, that's kind of what your whole blog is about. Yes, you're frugal by nature, but you also continue to be so so that you can do what you value for your family, which is to stay home with your kids.
I realize this is going on a bit, but I mostly wanted to say that I love your blog (I turned my husband on to it as well) and hope you take some of the negative comments you get with a grain of salt. You go out of your way more than any other blogger I read to be as non-offensive as possible. Thank you for taking the time each day to post great recipes, info, and peeks into your life! I enjoy it so much and glean little tidbits for use in my own life.
Oh, I feel your pain there. It's not as though I've been able to stay home all these years simply because we're just swimming in money. It's taken a lot of work and sacrifice to be able to do this, but I think it's worth it.
So, on the one hand, me staying home is not a result of privilege, but of hard work. But on the other hand, the reason I know how to work hard and how to live simply is that my parents gave me the tools to do that. And in that sense, my ability to stay home is a result of privilege, you know?
But I totally get what you mean...it's annoying when someone acts as though staying at home was just handed to you on a silver platter.
Hi Kristen,
I haven't read the book you referenced but it sounds like one of those that make me cringe as a mom with a full-time job outside the home as well. It drives me crazy when working moms (for lack of a better term even though we are ALL working moms) make it sound like that's the best fit for everyone! It's certainly not for everyone. It's the best choice for my family, but I recognize not everyone has been called to working motherhood just as not everyone has been called to stay-at-home-motherhood. I would be remiss if I didn't mention (for the sake of other readers, NOT because I feel like you said something in your post) that working motherhood can be done extremely well, but it can ALSO be done extremely poorly. The same goes with stay-at-home motherhood. Thank you for having a forum where we can peek into your SAHM world but not feel badly about working, too! 🙂
Yes, that's what irritated me. I would have been fine if she said working outside of the home can be a good option, but it was like she was dissing people who stay at home, as though their choice was inferior.
And yes! Any type of mothering (or schooling, for that matter) can be done well or done poorly.
Just a quick plug for public education - I am currently completing my MEd in School Counseling (5-12) and am working in a local high school in MA doing my practicum. I am consistently awed by the competence, awareness, and altruism shown by the majority of people I have met throughout my years in public education. It's no shock that people in public education are often underpaid and overworked. However, I am constantly finding myself moved by their enthusiasm and dedication to the job. Is public education perfect? Heck No. But it's certainly better than not offering an education to all Americans. I'm a little sick of hearing that public education is so awful (that's not directed at Kristen, but in a more general sense). Typically the people who say that are people who have not even TRIED to make a difference, just pass judgment about how AWFUL it is. And the truth is, that although public education has a vast amount of flaws, it also provides many opportunities to kids who would otherwise have none. Push forth, fellow educators. You are appreciated by many 🙂
Oh, I totally agree that there are some fabulously dedicated teachers out there and I would never want to discount the hard work they put in.
The system itself has some flaws that teachers can do nothing about (stuff like having to teach to the test, class sizes that are too large, etc.), so my reasons for homeschooling my kids aren't at all related to the character of the teachers. 🙂
I feel the same way, Kristen. My husband is a teacher and we plan to homeschool, NOT because we don't have faith in teachers (we know all too well how hard they work!) but because our school system has some huge, bureaucratic flaws.
In no other case would be believe that an institution should continue because "some really caring people work there." Consider that public education has become rather "untouchable" by critics because there is the (mistaken) idea that public education is just good, and altruistic, and lovely. That it is all Norman Rockwell, and apples, and ink. The reality is that it is more often student drones, low standards, peer orientation, rampant consumerism (being taught at every "stuff" rally for the kids to sell wrapping paper to fund the PTA) teen rebellion, drugs, sex, and even violence. Even so-called excellent public schools are moral cesspools for children, in many cases.
We would not say, "Well, that hospital has a terrible track record, and some patients return and shoot the doctors, very liberal practices are preached there, and the families of our patients just get more disconnected and 'sicker' everyday... but the nurses up in the cancer ward are just so NICE and CARING. Let's try to fix it! A horrid hospital is better than none at all!"
There are certainly caring teachers. There are people who are "enthusiastic" in every profession under the sun. That doesn't translate to public education being great for kids.
I'm sorry, what exactly are your qualifications for making remarks like that, and more importantly, what have you done to enact any kind of change?
Erika,
My qualifications? I'm a former teacher (and by all standards, a good one!), a parent to formerly schooled children (who were again, by school standards, thriving), and basically...a mom, citizen, and taxpayer! I'm fairly certain I don't need other qualifications to debate schooling issues. I think the "change" you mention is the very thing I'm debating; though I have tried to enact change, I became rapidly convinced that the change needed is a shift so complete that only one option was possible. So, we left the system! Ha. I certainly don't think education needs to be protected from criticism to spare the feelings of teachers. When I chose to teach, I chose my salary. I chose long hours and lower pay. I'm ashamed to say I often even criticized parents (for not working with me, goodness sake!) without realizing that the very system of schooling was telling parents early-and-often that they needed to keep out, leave it to the professionals, and to put their time to good use serving in the PTA. Selling wrapping paper. Was it any surprise that those same parents barely knew their teens? That we had allowed "reading night" at school be viewed as priority to family night at home? And then wondered why our families wouldn't get "on board" when we wanted and then to please "step aside" when we were teaching "new math" to 2nd graders? (Because no average person can teach new math. It takes a certified professional. 🙂 ) Though you may think I'm attacking you, I'm most certainly not. I'm just asking you to consider that great teaching (even to those who feel "called") does not EQUAL public education being great.
Actually, I never said public education is great. I think I actually said it's NOT great! 🙂 Really, my issue is that people complain, complain, complain, seeing only the bad and ignoring the good that public schools offer. Which is especially ironic to discuss here, on Kristen's where she is always advocating for looking for the good in things! I'm sorry your school system is so horrible, and I'm pleased to say that I have not had those same experiences, at least not to the degree that you have. I feel blessed that I live in an area that respects education and offers many excellent schools with competent leaders who do their jobs well. I plan on keeping a positive attitude until I am proven otherwise!
What is your proposed alternative to universal public education, free to all students and funded by taxpayers?
I'm sincerely interested. You mention public school is "untouchable", which leads me to assume you may be someone who advocates dismantling the Department of Education public school, but that might be an inaccurate assumption. If it isn't, however, I'd love to hear your alternatives.
I am so appalled by your comments AK, I simply had to step away and compose my thoughts. I am sorry you seem to have had a bad experience with your teaching career and your child's education and I won't deny that there are schools out there that aren't thriving (or children who are better served somewhere other than a public school), but let's be serious, whose fault is it if a school is a "moral cesspool". Having worked in a failing school and an excelling one I would have to say it is the parent's fault. I spend 55 minutes a day with each of my 165 students and we work our butts off during those 55 minutes and I can assure you that the majority of my students at both the excelling and the failing schools continued to work just as hard in all of their classes with all of their teachers. Schools are meant to teach critical thinking skills, not moral issues. Morality is the parents' job and isn't that the way most of us would want it?
As for "untouchable", are you serious - have you heard of NCLB and all of the demands that are placed on each school as a result of the "taxpayers" who elect our state legislators? I work in a highly effective school presently and I can tell you, we are as far from untouchable as the students are from drones. I don't know when you taught or how you taught, but any decent teacher focuses on developing thinking skills, encourages questions and opposing views, and fosters individuality.
As for the drugs, sex & violence - goodness really to whom does that job belong? Isn't it the parents who should be educating their children about these things? Really, is that what a school should be focusing on - NO, yet we have had to. It is the moral fabric of the family that needs to be improved and if it were we would see a wealth of improvement in our school's atomsphere.
I can understand if you do not want your child to be around these things, that is understandable, but it is not the school's fault, it is society's.
I think you have neglected a majority of the wonderful students that we have in public schools. I am often awed by the caring, conscientious, morally sound teenagers who inhabit the halls of my high school and definitely they are the reason that it is not a "moral cesspool."
Finally, yeah I think it does matter if schools are inhabited by those "nice & caring" individuals, because this is what often gets the weakest of students to try. Is that all that matters? No. They must also be well informed and able to communicate the information so that students can retain it. As for caring, I would say caring is truly the most important quality a teacher can have. Would you want your child to have a teacher who didn't care?
Thanks for always being positive and continuing to focus on the good things. Your blog lifts my spirits and reminds me to stop and focus on the good things in my life.
I LOVE what you said about the unstructured play time afforded to kids because of homeschooling. That's one of the things I love most about it! Homeschooling allows everybody in the family to have more unstructured time, because we're not running around to extracurricular activities. It drives me cookoo that people feel you're not a good parent if you aren't driving your kid from place to place like a maniac. For the record, homeschooling is not perfect. There are many, many days that I consider driving my children up to that school and then driving back home and taking a nap! My house has to be continually picked up, because the kids are home all day to mess it up, I rarely get to go anywhere by myself or do anything for myself and I haven't heard what silence sounds like for two years! It's definitely not perfect!
Finally, Sonia's list is GREATNESS! Love it!
Isn't it? Looking at that list just makes me smile.
I hear you on the imperfections of homeschooling. It's more efficient for the child, but not necessarily for the mom! 😉
Wow! What a day. I've been following Morrison's comments re: the Aldi post on my phone all day. I enjoy her blog, but do find her pendulum to swing wildly at times. I thought your remarks in reply were simply lovely under the circumstances.
When I logged on again tonight and saw over seventy comments on this post, I wondered what else had happened today. Again I'm impressed with your ability to turn the other cheek with such grace.
I see blogs as "slice of life" rather than mega-pixel reproductions of every waking moment of every day (boring). You have a vision for your blog and you are faithful to it. I, for one, appreciate that you see life through a positive spectrum (must be the astigmatism!). I love that there's no whinging allowed at TFG.
*Random Thought Warning*
RT#1. Somewhere in all of this flurry, it seems to have been forgotten that you too hold a variety of part-time jobs (in addition to this blog) in order to further contribute to your family's fiscal well-being.
RT#2. I was tickled to see a comment posted somewhere by Glenn of To Simplify. I love it when I see my favorite bloggers on each other's sites! Especially when I didn't know they "knew" each other. Your lives are so different and yet you share common interests.
RT#3. Can't forget your pal Katy at Non Consumer Advocate, either. Her recent "celebrity" post was hilarious! Let's all go read it, have a good laugh and lighten up the mood a bit. Tomorrow's another day.
When my children were younger, I used to get as much (more) enjoyment watching them play a pick up game than watching them play an organized game of basketball, softball, etc. In pick up games, there is usually laughter. Children also need to "learn" about having something to do when they are alone. I recently heard someone say that a child would be bored while waiting for the parent at an appointment. I watched. The child had brought a book to read. I don't think the child was bored.
I have to agree with Karen S. here. I love your blog, but how about some posts where your family isn't doing better than the average? I've learned a ton from you and admire how you live your life, but I would love to hear more about the less than perfect things.
I don't mind sharing my own flaws (I do that on a fairly regular basis, especially on Twitter and Facebook), but I am not comfortable with writing negative things about my children or husband...that just doesn't seem fair to them.
Reese, in a comment above has been paying attention to my flaws...she said: "her office gets messy, laundry doesn't always get done on time, sometimes dinner doesn't taste great, kids get sick, kids throw tantrums, she fights with Mr. FG, and she needs a vacation for just herself away from the kiddos."
Maybe you're a newer reader and have missed stuff like this post? https://www.thefrugalgirl.com/2010/11/i-shouldnt-be-doing-this/
and this:
https://www.thefrugalgirl.com/2011/07/frugal-girl-confessions/
I try to strike a balance between keeping it real and keeping it positive, and I'm sorry that balance hasn't been satisfactory to you.
Oh, it's not that I think there should be more negativity, but maybe more humility. There's a lot of positive in being less than perfect and needing grace.
And I hope it comes across that your blog has generated this dialogue because it's GOOD. If it sucked, no one would care. 😉
Oh yes, I regularly say that I'm not perfect (reference the posts I shared above) and that I need grace. And I try to recognize that the successes that I do have are a result of grace. I'm sorry that message hasn't been clear to you. I feel like God has graciously been chipping away at my pride over the years, and I am confident He'll continue to do that. So, hopefully more and more humility will be forthcoming. 🙂
My hope in sharing posts like the one about us going to the park is to share my joy and thankfulness and hopefully to inspire other people to look for something like that in their area, because I think it could bring them joy as well.
I'm not wanting to be all, "Hey! I rule because I have the best park in the world and I take my family there and I hope you're jealous!"
I want to inspire other people, not discourage them.
Sharing your daily struggles can be done without writing negative things about your children and husband......it could be inspiring and encouraging. Authenticity is a great tool for helping with pride and humility. I recognize that we are only seeing a "snapshot' of your life. Thank you for sharing. As a single, working mom, I very much appreciate blogs of SAHM.....because I am raising a family on one income too!
I did get a little raise this month and upgraded our cell phones. My daughter told me this morning how much she loves having a bible on her phone : )
I've only been reading Kristen's blog for about six months, but I can already see that she is not lacking in humility. She shares the blessings in her life (which she readily attributes to God and not to her own efforts) to encourage others to see the blessings in their own. We all have blessings. Anyone who thinks he/she does not needs to sit down and count them. For me, there are enough negative things I could be reading online - I love visiting Kristen's blog because it is cheerful and inspires me (even on a bad day or week) to look at the little (or big!) things in my own life that are wonderful.
My jaw actually dropped when I read this. The implication that Kristen is not humble, thinks she's perfect, and acts like she doesn't need grace is just stunning to me, a reader of the past 3 years. I can count dozens of times when Kristen has referenced her faults, referenced the grace of Christ and her gratitude for it, and referenced being humbled by situations. She bends over backwards in posts to triple assure readers this is just her opinion, she expresses gratitude for her husband's job and her ability to stay home, and she frequently says "I know this won't work for everyone, but it works for me, and maybe it will work for you" or some variation of it. Honestly, the line "You don't have to make yogurt" has become imbedded in my mind as a slogan that means I don't have to live up to others' expectations, and that is a line from Kristen herself from a post about how she's not perfect.
I just don't really understand what more people want from Kristen. What is it about people that we can interpret another person's being happy, fulfilled, and cheerful as "she thinks she's perfect, she needs to be more humble, she needs to realize she needs grace". I truly and honestly do not understand. I'm stressed to the max, unemployed, working 60 hour weeks between school and student teaching, and freaking out about my deferred student loans, and it would never occur to me to read a joyful post here and get personally offended about it because our lives are so different.
Ok, first of all, I love that "You don't have to make yogurt" is now a slogan. Bumper stickers, anyone??
And secondly, holy moly. I felt tired just reading about your current life situation. I hope it gets a little calmer in the near future.
Thirdly, I am very encouraged to hear that the overall impression you have after reading me for three years is that I need grace and that I know it. Excellent.
As somebody who works full-time, I actually really appreciate this post. See, I'm a diplomat, and for some strange reason, an avid reader of mommy blogs despite my current lack of kids. The two don't always jive.
In particular, the almost laser-like focus on kids thriving on structure and predictability. Realistically, our (future) kids will have some semblance of structure in their lives (likely with school and religious instruction), but they will also have a lot of upheaval. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing, coupled with adventures and cross-cultural challenges, but the standard set by so many blogs seems impossibly high- to the point of making me deeply anxious to even have kids!
All that rambling o say- I appreciate this because it's an accessible life. It's doable and desirable and gives me hope. A good way to start the day!
I really appreciate the encouragement, Kate!
Wow, is all I can say after spending an hour reading your post and all of the comments. I have read your blog for about a year now, (not commenting, lurker I know) but felt compelled to comment today. Sometimes you put things on your blog that I either don't relate to or agree with and I simply take that as we are different people therefore have different opinions. I'm not sure why anyone feels they have to come on here and put negative comments. So what if you are happy everyday (even if your not) perhaps you put the positive blog on here to help change your own day around by trying to see the positive side of things. Why is it that people think it is okay to try and make others feel bad about something they have done or said. Different opinions are fine but I found Karen's comments (all of them) to be hurtful and sarcastic.
Lisa, thank you! I completely agree. I love all of the thing that happen here--the gardening attempts, fun and easy cooking, just nice, enjoyable days in the park. I'm not particularly religious nor do I make my own yogurt, but I enjoy reading about this regardless. This is a public blog. I don't understand why people who are irritated by it would continue to read it.
Thank you Kirsten 🙂
Hi Kirsten. I read and enjoy your blog all the way from Australia, although have never commented before. I find your attitude helpful in trying to focus on the good that is all around us, even when it is hidden behind chores or tight finances! I love your upbeat attitude and have never felt like you are preachy just aware of what you value for yourself and your family.
As women, sometimes we don't do the best job of supporting each other in choices that are individual and should not be viewed as condemnation of others choices. We are all so different how can one persons choice be right for another person? it appears to me that you are just showing us (parts) of your life and I personally feel encouraged to enjoy my own choices all the more as a result of reading.
Don't feel discouraged, this is a great blog.
Thank you, Rebecca
I read your blog a lot, FG, but rarely comment. Forgive me. I am a Montessori teacher dismayed and absolutely appalled by experiencing the loss of play firsthand, and by seeing children as young as two spend 12 hours or more/day away from their parents at school. Is there no flexibility to two parents working full-time? Of course there is; lifestyle adjustment. Looking at needs versus wants and being real honest about it. These babies just want their parents! I say, so often, "why have children...??" In fact, half of my just-finished master's thesis explored the idea of outdoor free play. I was shocked to learn that about 40 percent of public schools in America have eliminated recess (a sad playtime at that, these days, and way too structured) in favor of more academics (groan ...). This is happening in private schools, too. I recently visited a Montessori school where I used to work and a little girl I knew told me, "I hate school this year. All I'm allowed to do are academics." She's FIVE!! If only we could pool together all the parents in the country able to homeschool and have EVERYONE educated that way ..... sigh.
Oh dear. I am so not for the idea of schools eliminating recess.
Can I have a 'You don't have to make yoghurt' bumper sticker please? I'm up for pretty much anything in the kitchen (no innuendo meant! honestly we aren't talking 'the postman always knocks twice' didn't cross my mind ;-)) - but I draw the line at making yoghurt!
I love Kristen's outlook on life. A few years ago, I thought I had to work full-time also. I had an extremely stressful life and was always running to keep up. Then in 2006, I was diagnosed with cancer. It completely changed my perspective on things. My husband and I looked at our budget, I started a small business at home and I never went back to the job I hated. It's been five years and my life has gone in a completely different direction. I'm teaching at a university, which is something I've always wanted to do. I'm contemplating the next phase of our life (kids, additional education, more volunteer work). We have never regretted the change we made in our life. Things were very tough for a while but we always tried to keep a positive attitude. It's amazing how things won't bother you when you value all the little things.
I absolutely love this post! You're awesome Frugal Girl.. and I hope to have an amazing family full of love and free time like you do one day 🙂