Meet a Reader | The Nonconsumer Advocate
The other day I thought, "Hmm, you know what would be fun? Having my friend The Nonconsumer Advocate do a Meet a Reader post!"
It's really more of a "Meet a Blogger" post, but Katy does also read my blog, so she qualifies for a Meet a Reader spot.
Here's Katy!
1. Tell us a little about yourself
Like Kristen, I'm a frugality blogger and have been writing The Non-Consumer Advocate since May 20, 2008. My motto is "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without" and as corny as it may sound, I really do try to live by this credo.
My husband and I repair instead of replace and we do the work of figuring out how to live below our means.
Here's the very first blog post that started it all! My life has changed a lot since then, as my kids are now adults and I retired from my 24-year career as a labor and delivery nurse a scant few months before the pandemic.
Although I'm 100% done with nursing, I'm excited for Kristen to begin her nursing career!
I decided in 2007 to stop buying pretty much anything new and haven't looked back. Sure there are the occasional situations when I've had no choice but to purchase new, (like when the kids needed uniforms for their various sports teams) but it's the exception rather than the rule. My protest against mainstream consumerism seemed weird 17 years ago, but I'm happy to see that more and more people are taking a critical eye to the shop-shop-shop culture that used to be unquestioned.
My decision to only buy used was considered so bizarre that I was even on The Today Show in 2012 as "Woman buys nothing new in five years!" Like a circus sideshow freak.
You can read my buy used exception list HERE if you're curious about my purchasing habits. Mostly it's personal care items and a few things that would give me the ick to buy used -- think mattresses, underwear or a harmonica.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
I've been a reader since of The Frugal Girl since day one, as I recall Kristen messaged asked for advice about frugal blogging when she was first starting out a couple months after I did. You could say that we grew up together as frugality bloggers. From baby bloggers to seasoned(ish) pros.
Although we're "online friends," we actually met up in person when my family visited the D.C. area in 2014 and even toured the Smithsonian Museum together with our six kids!
Here we are all happy, (but sadly out of focus and backlit) in front Julia Child's kitchen!
And here we are, complete with a 2014-style Instagram filter. (Valencia, maybe?)
Either way, we spent the day chatting like the close friends that we'd become. We text each other frequently and even pop on for the occasional phone call.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I've always enjoyed the challenge of stretching a dollar, but I didn't get intense about it until 1998 when I was on maternity leave with my youngest. My mother gave me a copy of "The Tightwad Gazette" and everything clicked into place. I loved Amy Dacyczyn's creative mindset, how she wrote about "tightwaddery" as a fun challenge instead of a life of deprivation.
I was an absolutely exhausted mother of two littles and working night shift and wanted to just work part-time. I saw that so many RNs were working mothers and full-time employees and still living paycheck-to-paycheck, even though their husbands made bucketloads more money than mine did. I wanted something different.
I mean, look at the circles around my eyes in this photo! It's not eye shadow.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
The "why" behind my money-saving efforts have changed throughout the years and I imagine will continue to evolve. Initially, it was to have some financial stability, but it deepened into an understanding of how mindless consumerism is tied to the health of our planet.
Buying a brand new item prompts a replacement to be manufactured from raw materials, buying used does not. Buying used also keeps perfectly good stuff out of the waste stream.
5. What's your best frugal win?
I wish I had a super cool impressive answer for this question, but I think the bigger picture win is a thousand small frugal wins.
Drinking tap water, holding onto my belongings for an extended period of time, giving and receiving through my Buy Nothing group, repairing our belongings, not being snobby about secondhand things, and generally keeping a wide berth from The Joneses.
Kristen has written many times about the role of contentment in frugality and I think it's an important aspect of frugality. I don't need impressive travel or belongings to feel worthy of my space in this world. I'm mostly content with my own semi-scrappy lifestyle.
6. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
I can't think of any, but that might just be my brain in protection mode.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
My husband and I paid for both of our kids to get their bachelor's degrees. We got some help from family, but it was mostly just us working extra shifts and spending pretty much nothing on ourselves for 5-½ years.
My years of knowing how to live on as little as possible came in very handy!
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Living my life like the average consumer.
I used to bring a Ziploc bag of bulk-purchased instant oatmeal for my night shift meals. One specific nurse thought this was hilarious, but I explained that I was at work "to make money, not spend it."
That same nurse (now management) wistfully brought this up when I announced my early retirement and joked that maybe she should've been bringing oatmeal over the decades like I had.
I don't embarrass easily, which helps.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
Look up at the sky and ask "Where did this money fall from?" Then I'd deposit it in a high-yield savings account so I could get 5% interest on it.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
For me, being frugal suits my nature, which makes it an easy lifestyle. I get more enjoyment from a frugal win than a splurge.
It can be hard to celebrate the $5 savings here and the $30 savings there when life comes at you with an unexpected $3,500 bill. I have no words of wisdom on this except to dust yourself off and keep working the plan.
11. Which is your favorite type of post at the Frugal Girl and why?
It might be self-serving, but I love when Kristen writes her "Five Frugal Things" blog posts.
I enjoy the peek into her daily life, plus the comments section is always a wealth of information. I've written thousands of my own "Five Frugal Things" blog posts, so it gives me a tickle when other content creators follow this format.
12. What is something you wish more people knew?
It's okay to be cheap!
I'm going to climb on my favorite soapbox and defend cheapness. Being cheap gets a bad rap as it's associated with being ungenerous, self centered and miserly. Unfortunately a lot of people get themselves into financial trouble in order to not appear "cheap." They give gifts they cannot afford, take vacations on credit, drive vehicles with crushing car payments and make aspirational purchases that put them under water.
I want people to know that it's perfectly to make the cheap choice if it's what you can actually afford.
I often tag my Instagram with the hashtag #cheapaf, (I'll let you guess the meaning of "af.") because I want people to explore how to find cheap solutions to everyday problems. It's fun, it's cheeky and there's no need to apologize for your cheapness!
13. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
I live in Portland, Oregon, which is great city for frugal minded folks.
There's a well stocked Goodwill in every neighborhood and people regularly set their unwanted belongings out on their curb for neighbors to look through. (I've found a lot of my household belongings this way, as well as items to sell for profit!)
There's a strong restaurant culture for all budget levels and there don't seem to be any food deserts. Our low income neighborhoods actually have the best grocery stores. (Winco Foods, which has an impressive bulk food section and consistently lower prices.)
We have tons of parks and green space and the mild weather to enjoy it.
Okay, it's not perfect. Rent has climbed higher than a lot of people can afford, but that's certainly not exclusive to Portland.
Kristen, thank you so much for inviting me to share in your "Meet a Reader" series. This was super fun to write up. love you! Mwah!
XXOO
Your friend Katy
P.S. #cheapaf
________________
Katy, thank you! I'm so glad to host you here, and I am forever grateful to you for the inspiration to do Five Frugal Things posts.
We need to get together again and get a better photo of the two of us, without a filter this time. Heh.
I always think of you when I pack lunches to go work at the hospital...I'm always like, "I'm here to make money, not spend money." So far, I have bought zero hospital food, even from a vending machine.
And I've also made it through all my clinical shifts the last year without buying food, so I'm on a pretty good streak.
I have not, however, drunk any of the crappy hospital coffee (like you used to do), because I am not about to make myself a cup of powdered coffee. I've just been bringing mine from home. 🙂
So cool to see Katy at Kristen's. I hope if you think of an embarassing money moment that you'll share it with us. Inquiring minds want to know!
@WilliamB,
I really can't think of any, but I'll circle back if something comes to mind.
Kristen and Katy are the only frugal living blogs I follow and my favorite bloggers by far. I know one of you recommended the other to me many years ago but I have no idea who came first. Thank you both for many years of sharing your lives, they are an inspiration to me and your community is invaluable.
I love Katy's scrappiness and ethics. Thank you for sharing your story here.
@K D,
Well stated! My sentiments exactly!
@Gina, double ditto! Love them both!
@K D
Me too! Kristen and Katy are the only bloggers I read consistently. Love them both!
@K D,
Aww, thank you so much for your kind words!
P.S. I am scrappy!
Katy introduced me to Kristen. You're both the only bloggers I follow. Love you both!
@Jeana,
Thank you for following both of us!
What fun it is to see our two frugal superheroes together! I read and contribute to both your blogs and always enjoy them.
Katy, I didn't know you were on the Today Show. How cool is that?!?!
As to obtaining used items, my motto is "if someone is crazy enough to [get rid of/throw away/donate] a perfectly good item, I'm just crazy enough to [buy it/pick it up/get it] and use it!" The fact that it is good for the environment is the cherry on top. The new buzzword today is "sustainable." I tell people my secondhand acquisition habits are more "sustainable for the environment."
I've no doubt saved tons of money doing that over the years; no telling how much it's all added up to. And I bet that's true of many of us in both commentariats!
@Fru-gal Lisa,
It was really cool, although I was over to top nervous! They were going to have me do my live interview via satellite and I kept saying "I'm happy to come to NYC and can come late minute if need be." They said it wasn't necessary over and and over again until they decided to fly me out. I felt like I won a free trip to New York!
Hi Katy! I liked your "I don't embarrass easily, which helps." That was a throwaway line in there, but it is important, I think. I'm with you on that, although at least one of my children is still in the easily embarrassed stage of the teenage years. I'm wondering if your kids ever had a hard time with some of your choices?
@kristin @ going country, not being easily embarrassed is a great quality, one that gets stronger with each passing year.
@kristin @ going country,
Oh yes, it's embarrassing to have a mom *at all* when you're a teenager, so imagine having one who garbage picks all the time and talks on TV about it!
What a way to start my morning!! I read both blogs, practice the same mottos and love what this community offers. I have learned so much from both of you. I stayed home with kids for 12 years, then worked part-time and now full-time for insurance. I am on the hunt for work that pays insurance at 32 hours a week. Keep writing:) please.
@JDS,
The hospital system where I work offers health insurance at 32 hours/week (which is considered full time). However, it is not 100% paid for by the organization - so, even if you work 40 hours/week, you pay your part of it.
@JDS, many grocery stores offer insurance for part time hours. And you get a discount on food.
@JDS,
I don't have plans to stop the blog and somehow seem to find new stuff to write about all the time.
I love this community as well!
@JDS, Some companies who offer health insurance for part-time work are: Trader Joe's, Lowe's, Starbucks, REI, and Costco.
And Aldi!
What fun to see the Dynamic Duo, Katy and Kristen, together! Along with (I expect) almost everyone else who'll be commenting here, I enjoy both blogs, and they've become important parts of my life.
And I too liked Katy's line about not embarrassing easily. I used to, but far less now that I'm a lot older and don't give a...hoot. In this respect, I've found that age does have its advantages.
@A. Marie,
It's very freeing to get to that point in life where you don't care so much about other's people's opinion of you.
Love you, A. Marie!!!!!
I always read Katy's and your blogs. Love them. And I think I fell in love with Katy by you mentioning her so long ago. Either way, I don't start my day without Katy and Kristen!
@Maureen,
That is so sweet, thank you!
Nice to see the Goodwill Queen over here!
@Bobi,
Not court jester?! 😉
Hi Katy!
My supervisor brings oatmeal for his work snacks. And he's young and trendy!
I appreciate your frugal mindset at work! I work on a prn basis, and have for years (out of necessity for many of them, but now that I'm 59, I do it out of preference). Many coworkers have made the "must be nice .... " comment, and I tell them, you can do this too, but it requires choices!
Thanks for sharing!
@Kris,
You are right on! Making good choices and setting priorities are significant part of living frugally, but they are also an important part of living authentically. If you follow your heart, you will find that it is easy not to care what others think.
@Kris, I somehow misread your comment to be that you work in porn and then I got to your age and thought "Are there people with a preference for geriatric porn?" Only then did I realize I needed to reread things.
@Lindsey, that makes Kris's whole paragraph even funnier!
@Kris, I was a stay at home mom in the early 90's and by the time my kids got to school I was getting the "must be nice to be so rich". Nope not rich, just frugal and grateful for anything that was given to us. Hubby's aunts went to great lengths to buy our kids and hubby's sister's kids clothes from garage sales and holiday sales at a swanky department store. I had an attitude for gratitude back then and still do.
@MB in MN,
"out of necessity then, now out of preference......" lol....
(Mind has entered the gutter, refuses to leave :-))
@Kris,
My co-workers knew my deal, I was never shy about sharing money saving hacks with everyone. Whether or not they wanted to hear them!
I follow both Katy's blog and Kristen's blog. I love them both equally. They're both my favorite!!
@Gina,
You are so fair with your admiration. Thank you!
I'm up for being money-wise- using my money effectively. My uncle lived his life super frugally- using the same/ similar everyday necessities. After he passed away, his only child now lives a luxurious life- doesn't have to work, drives designer cars, and travels wherever he wants all the time. When the time is up you won't be able to enjoy the good chocolates anymore due to health issues, the thought of being on a rollercoaster or a cruise will make you dizzy, and taking your Maserati out for a short drive will make you tired. Everything is transient!
@Farhana,
Sounds like that apple fell far from the tree.
What a lovely morning surprise, to see my two favorite bloggers together. It is fun to hear of your longtime friendship and cross-inspiration with the FFT.
The two of you together have provided a ton of ideas and endless encouragement for us to live a much better life, in two communities of readers who show the way.
"The way" to more financial freedom, more contentment in life, to being a good steward of the planet, to early retirement, and to feeling good while doing all of this.
@Erika JS,
Oh yes, we're buddies. At first living very different lives and now less so.
I’m a Non-Consumer Advocate fan! My journey to frugality was much like Katy’s. I was an exhausted, working mother with 3 children, and I thought there must be a better way. There was and is. Thank you Katy and Kristen for supporting this frugal lifestyle.
@Bee,
Those were such hard years, yet I miss them so much. <3
It was very pleasant to see the 2 of you together here. I did see Katy on the Today show and started following her blog. Then somehow, I think she recommended Kristen and I started reading her also.
Like most people here these are the only 2 blogs I read. Between the 2 of you I think you cover the whole spectrum of frugal living. You are different but compliment each other.
@karen,
I love that you found me through The Today Show. Fun fact -- they switched my segment from one day to another. I was supposed to be on with Martha Stewart and Vanilla Ice and instead I was on with Ryan Lochte and Carly Rae Jepsen.
That was a bummer.
Hi Katy! Reading your Five Frugal Things is inspirational and I find myself making notes, such as "find a better battery recycling program". Thanks for that.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl,
LOL, I usually read Katy's FFT on my phone, so I take screenshots of things I want to look up/investigate/look for (such as library books that are recommended).
@Blue Gate Farmgirl,
I'm glad to read that you like the Five Frugal Things posts, I try to write about what others might be unaware of.
@Liz B.,
I love a good library book recommendation and often end up reading books that I find out about in my own comments section!
What fun to read about Katy's life. I've read other comments here that refer to her but didn't chase them down to learn more. my favorite responses: "giving a wide berth to The Joneses" along with "I'm here to make money, not spend it". There are definitely more resources for frugal living in a city—free things on the curbs, better and more 2nd-hand stores, and Buy Nothing groups abound. Of course there are more temptations too, if spending is your bent in life.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
I'm always finding amazing free things, plus I also give things away through my Buy Nothing group. It keeps it all in balance and scratches that "shopping" itch.
Hi Katy!
I modeled frugal maternity clothes on your blog. 🙂 I’ve looked. It’s gone. Malta. April.
Your blog impacted me. Thanks for sharing your tips! I didn’t know you were a TV star! 🙂
I currently live somewhere with a big curb culture. I recently learned the hard way. I waited until morning to claim my treasure, and it was gone. Don’t wait!
@April,
Oh yes, you snooze you lose!
You modeled maternity clothes on my blog? That must have been a long time ago!
I feel like when I was a little girl and the animated series "The Jackson 5 and The Osmands" debuted. Two of my favorites. Now that is aging me.
I read both of your blogs. You both are very good about keeping new content in the week and responding to posts which allow all of us readers to do the same. Posting helps me keep my priorities straight and think through my daily gratitude list. This always helps me find creative solutions. I feel I can curate my own life rather than having mass media do it for me.
@mary ann,
Now I need to mull over "curate my own life rather than having mass media do it for me." An interesting concept!
And I loved watching "Donnie and Marie" when I was a kid. I can still sing the "Little bit country, little bit rock and roll" song, although I now realize Donnie was NEVER rock and roll, not even a little bit.
I found Katy's blog through Kristin, and I LOVE it. I now use her #cheapaf tag allllll the time. I have ALWAYS packed my lunch/snacks for work, bring my own coffee.
My friends know how I am, and fortunately - they support my thrifty ways, with maybe a little teasing. But I do not care. I am trying to retire sooner than others, so I will not lose sight of my savings goals! My favorites are "five frugal things" (SOOOOO many good ideas in the comments!), and of course - her curb picking makes me green with envy! There is none of that around here (Florida Gulf Coast)...however, Sister recently renovated her kitchen and I happily picked through all of her boxes of no longer wanted items and grabbed a few things for myself and a friend 🙂
@Cheryl,
I have a family member who lives in FL gulf coast and she does it anyway even though it's not the culture. On trash day, she sometimes goes "trashing" when people set their trash out to be picked up the next day lol. She has found a lot of impressive stuff! So it's possible, depending on how against the grain you want to be ; )
@Heather Mar,
When I lived in Central Florida, there was a retired man who had one of those adult tricycles to which he had hitched a kid's wagon with built-up sides. The latter was lined with old carpet and the sides were pretty tall. You'd see him pedaling around on the nights before trash pickup day: usually after midnight, he'd quietly ride around our neighborhoods. I watched him trash pick the recyclables (cans, bottles) left at the curb in the Waste Management recycling boxes; these were items awaiting WM's pickup. Everything was quietly placed in the wagon --he was careful not to make any noise. Obviously, he was collecting aluminum and tin cans and glass items; later, he'd sort them out by type and then sell them to the area recyclers. (Waste Management would collect recyclables but would not pay us for them.) I guess that's how he supplemented his Social Security or something. So, yes, trash picking is done in Florida, as well.
@Cheryl,
I would be sad to live somewhere that didn't have a curb picking culture, it's just the best! Thank you so much for your nice words, I LOVE them!
P.S. #cheapaf 😉
Katy, so good to see you! I was the exhausted working mother of a preemie baby with a post-insurance hospital bill that took three years to pay off when I read about the Tightwad Gazette in a magazine at the dentist's office. Amy D. changed so many lives for the better. You do an amazing job with making thrift both great and fun.
@Ruby, I hadn’t thought about the fun quotient of Katy's blogging but you’re absolutely correct. Katy's adventures do contain lotsa fun as does Kristen’s posting (looking at you, Chiquita).
@Ruby,
I'm kind of sad that Amy Dacyczyn doesn't have an online presence, I'd love to read her take on current frugality hacks. She really did (and does) change so many people's lives for the better.
It's so interesting to think back and remember the cultural view of frugality - it may not be mainstream even now, but it's become much more common and "acceptable;" it's funny to remember that it wasn't so many years ago that it was seen as more of an odd, slightly embarrassing idea. That screenshot label "has bought nothing new in five years" cracks me up!
(Also: "Where did this money fall from?" made me laugh out loud again.)
Anyway, I'm thankful I live in this era of frugal community - thanks to the mighty women of frugality (Tightwad Gazette, NCA, FG) whose writing brings us all together.
@Suz,
Thank you, I was wondering if anyone would comment on that line!
People who know about my non-consumer ways are often surprised when they come to my house, because they assumed my house would be scrappy, when it's actually really nice. Even though it's all thrifted or curb picked.
Hi Katy, it was nice to read more about you!
I love your #cheapaf moto. In more polite circles, I say AF = as foretold 😉
@Beverly, I curse like a trooper in private, and I sometimes forget to filter myself in public. On a Zoom planning meeting for our JASNA region on Saturday, I blurted, "Holy S**T!!" when I was told that the deadline for submitting a regional news report to the national newsletter (my responsibility) was 2 weeks earlier than I thought it was, and I think a few of the other committee members--the ones who don't know me very well--spilled their tea into their keyboards. However, I did get the report written and sent in on time.
@Beverly,
"As foretold" sounds so serious and humorless. I prefer my own version. 😉
I grew up during the 70s, with inflation and oil crises. What was ordinary stuff to my family, like crisping stale cereal in the oven and opening up tubes to get the rest, was apparently news to many people. Making everything from scratch and never eating out. Packing lunches on any day trips, which I hated and continue to hate. I remember being a kid and having to choke down a sandwich covered in ham juice (I hate ham) because something leaked in our cooler while at Cape Kennedy. In fact that's my sharpest memory of that trip. I wanted to be the person buying lunch which was "too expensive" not the one eating a disgusting lunch because I was with my cheap and stingy grandparents.
And as for the word frugal, I always watched The Frugal Gourmet on TV in the 80s. He was always very careful to say that frugal cooking was about the best use of resources, not being cheap.
@Rose, I loved the frugal gourmet, too, thru his cookbooks. He wrote of frugality as efficient effort for the cook, not just counting Pennie’s, and his recipes are still favorites at our house. Many years after first encounter, I have much better kitchen equipment, which is also more efficient.
@Rose,
I'm so sorry about your soggy sandwich, I feel your trauma and am sending you a fresh (dry) sandwich through space and time.
This is a good place to thank both of you for offering the support and comfort of hosting a haven for like-minded individuals. I hope you both keep writing for years to come!
@Lindsey,
I'm not about to stop writing, so worry not.
From one cheeky gal to another: I'm #happyaf to read this, Katy! Love every inch of it, especially the "I'm at work to make money, not spend it" and "dust yourself off and keep working the plan" and "mindless consumerism is tied to the health of our planet." I am grateful that I found your blog several years ago and, through you, I found The Frugal Girl. I check in on both of you every day!
@MB in MN,
Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader. I guess I need to put together a new blog post for tomorrow!
I’m a long- time reader of Katy’s blog, as well! Thank you both fir for years of wonderful, frugal living guidance!
@Kim from Philadelphia,
You're welcome, thank you for your long term support of the blog!
I enjoyed this! I’m so glad to see someone else say they splurged on their kids college education as we are sending our first off to college and plan to do the same. Our parents paid for our education as long as we made good grades and it really helped us starting off in marriage.
@Tiffany Reeves, my husband and I didn't splurge on our kid's college cause we really couldn't afford it. But my son got a few scholarships, went to the community college and then the state university. He worked about 30 hours a week in a Nike Factory store. We paid for odd things like parking and he was on our insurance. Daughter went to college out of state with a small scholarship. She did come home for holidays and the summer and dh was traveling for work so we managed to get free flights for her. She graduated worked for Americorp for a year and came home. She was paying off her loans during Covid while working part time. Got them paid off early as did our son who worked during school and got a good job after school. Daughter was also on our insurance which was good as she is a type 2 diabetic. A few years after college she did mention she wished she had done community college first.
@Tiffany Reeves,
It was quite the splurge! But it's over now and was worth all the sacrifice.
Hi Katy!! Glad to see you here! Your blog along with Kristen’s always ercourage’s me and makes me feel less alone in my frugal adventures!
@Caitlie,
You are definitely not alone!!! So very many of us.
Katy and Kristen are the Yin and Yang of frugality. What fun!
@Laurie Graves,
I love this!
Or the Donnie and Marie of frugality?
It's interesting that Katy uses the word "cheap" to describe careful spending.
Personally, that word alone is why so many people, still, are hesitant lest others perceive them as being cheap...as opposed to frugal.
People are still labeled and words do matter. That's a constant over time and in all strata of society. It's important to understand that the word "cheap" takes on many forms, many very positive, some pretty negative.
Being frugal to me and others, is about conservatorship: Of our personal resources, of natural resources, of our finances and of how we use our money.
Frugal appeals to me. Cheap turns me off (But again, not everyone is as word sensitive as I am) given the people I"ve known that could be tagged with that label.
What I love about Kristen's blog is that it never feels as if there is deprivation involved in selections. It's about wise, conscious choices to use our available dollars wisely and to get the most bang for the buck. You feel good about these ideas and choices. You don't feel like you are missing out. I think the emphasis, too, about saving money for the things that matter is important and it is fascinating to read the reader profiles to hear what matters to them and how they go about "funding" those aspects of their lives.
In my life, the few folks I've known who are cheap are not so much savers as they are those who are not generous: With their time, themselves or their resources.
We have known extremely wealthy individuals who, for example, will go to a dollar store for a birthday present and spend a dollar. But they are put off when others don't spend a lot on them in terms of gifts. Who will never pay for anyone else as a treat, etc. or never bring anything to someone's home when they are guests for a dinner or visit. And the like. What's worse is that they do have quite a lot of disposable income and could still spend conservatively but more fully "give." It's hard to explain but if you know folks like that...often family members who happily eat up at your home but never ask you to theirs and if they do, you'll get hot dogs and mac and cheese and nothing better, if that. (After enjoying really extensive food at your home.)
THAT to me, is cheap.
Individuals who are careful stewards of their resources ...how I wish there were words beyond frugal to describe (Financial stewards?). So many positive aspects lost. And let's be clear, frugal is relative to what you have available to you, and how much you have to work to get it.
Years ago, I read somewhere that before any purchase, figure out how long you had/have to work to pay for it. I know that this, more than anything else, had me really say: Whoa. Wait a minute. Because I want value for my dollars. It's like clothing. For the few things that have been purchased new over the years (which are defined as work at an office and travel for business or work from home) I have bought investment pieces, classics that can and have lasted for years and I buy them on sale. Or second hand (I still wear the designer raincoat I purchased for $25 at a thrift store. It was $250 in retail stores!)
Having thrift shops, online resale shops have been great ways to inexpensively replenish one's wardrobe. Or home furnishings or other items. And also great for gifting as many times, items are still in boxes, not even opened or used! Yes, it's work and it takes patience but so satisfying. I hate when I no choice but to purchase something new at full price.
Where I live, there are many recycled items but many competing for them as what is left on the street (terrific web app showing real-time street finds!) is snapped up. Craigslist, facebook marketplace, etc make it so much easier to be careful with what we spend. Speaking of...I really enjoy when Kristen shares what she has gotten for free or low cost and what she fixes up. Her new home is beautiful and she didn't have to spend a fortune. Love that so much.
I greatly admire this reader for not only her commitment to noncommercialism, but for the reasons why she does not want to buy new. I admire her tenacity and patience because it takes both at times to save money.
You, like Kristen, are an inspiration!
@Irena, maybe the word is prudent? But it sounds a little stuffy.
@Irena, I like to think of myself as frugal but my siblings see me as cheap. Whatever...hubby was able to retire early and we don't have any kids still on our payroll unlike siblings whose kids are far older than mine.
@Irena,
What you call "cheap," such as the rich folks who buy $1 gifts but expect expensive presents in return, I would call "stingy and selfish". Or perhaps "miserly," as in Ebenezer Scrooge before his Christmas visitors.
To me, "cheap" and "frugal" have the same definition -- "smart with money."
@Irena,
I love the cheap vs. frugal debate, thank you for digging in. I just know there are so many people who get themselves in financial trouble so they don't appear "cheap." I want to bring that word into an acceptable light to destigmatize the concept of spending less.
It is different than miserly.
Being a nanny is such a great job for you since you are making an income while spending your day with your daughter! Wish I had a green thumb to start a garden.
I have been a reader of Katy's for many years and became a reader of your post about a year ago. I appreciate you both! I love reading about the frugal meals, tips, and living a content life. I am just in the beginning stages of selling things on Marketplace. I have lots to learn in that arena!
Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement! Long live frugality!
@Donna,
I love finding abandoned items and then washing them up, researching them, photographing them and then getting them into the hands of people who were looking that that exact item. The money's nice too.
Thanks for your years of readership!
Katy is the reason I started reading Kristin. This is a full circle moment for me!
@Lisa, me too! I am a fan of both of them and have learned so much from them and the commentariat.
I am frugal in some aspects of my life so I can be generous in others. And yes, sustainability is also a priority these days.
@Lisa,
I'm happy to read that I brought your here, it's s good place to be.
I consider myself relatively frugal but I have a hard time buying second hand despite appreciating the environmental benefits. I did buy my car used, but for clothing, furniture, and appliances strongly prefer to buy new and then keep until worn out. I am also fairly minimalist so tend to underbuy, which helps. Thats my version of frugality anyway!
@Ally,
That's okay, someone has to buy things new in order for things to later become used.
I LOVE Katy's blog -- and her Instagram account is fun, too. Rock on, girl -- even if you don't buy a jet!
@Cindy Brick,
Some day, Cindy. Some day.
Lol. I have been following Katy and Kristen almost from the very beginning....years! It has been fun to have a window on their lives and watch the kids grow up. I'm not always as super Frugal as either of them but I do get lots of ideas both from their posts and from the comments of better ways to do things.
One of my favorite things that I use is when I go someplace like Grocery Outlet that has discounted prices and they announce the amount you have saved or it is on the receipt, is to take that amount and deposit it into my savings account. I did that for many years but got out of that habit during the pandemic BS. I was just talking to one of my favorite Grocery Outlet clerks about going back to that savings mode.
I also retired early, from the Postal Service at 57. For most of my career I only worked part-time even though that included many weeks at 40 plus hours. I was always taking all of my vacation and traveling every two or three years. Fellow employees told me I was crazy, I should be saving that all up so that I could get paid for it when I retired. But there are always lots of things that you can't do once you get older and there's no point in putting things off that you enjoy no matter what it is as long as it is within your budget.
I am much older now, but still working, providing transport for a family with disabled young adults. I've worked since I was 14 and my last day at work will probably be the day after I die. LOL my family teases me about that a lot. Most of my extra time is spent transporting, fostering and rescuing hound dogs as well as working in my orchard and garden.
@Allison,
That is so sad that your former co-workers weren't taking their vacation time. You were right to enjoy them when you were young and healthy.
Hi Katy! Thanks for sharing with us! I love your oatmeal story. 🙂 And your answer to #12 made me feel better after I told my kids that no, we would not be going to the movie theater on Wednesday like their friends are because we really shouldn't spend the money on that right now. It can be easy to only see what fun things people are spending on and not seeing where they say no.
It was fun to have you participate in Meet a Reader! I look forward to checking out your blog!
@Ruth T,
I always made a point of saying "That's not how we're spending out money today" instead of "We can't afford that." I didn't want the kids to worry about money.
@Katy @ The Non-Consumer Advocate, Yes, I have appreciated hearing how others say that! I said it to them as, "That's not how I'm going to spend my money this month." And that we had other fun things planned later in the summer. They know that I have a certain amount of spending money each month and since they earn spending money allowance, they understand that concept well.
I followed the NCA prior to reading TFG. If I recall, Katy made a post about other frugal blogs a long time ago.
@Mar,
That would have been a long time ago, thank you for all the years of support!
None of us are cheap - cheap is going to a buffet with zip lock bags/containers in your purse and filling them with food. Taking all sugar/ketchup/salt/pepper/jelly/sealed creamers from your table. Always going to events just for a free meal when you can darn well afford food for yourself (at home or take-out/dine out).
I abhor the word cheap, no I despise it, no I actually hate it. The my paternal grandmother called me "cheap like my father", I did manage to not lay into her toxic posterior. No, I live within or under my means, just like my father, HER SON. Who thankfully did not take after her.
So please make your hashtag (I also despise hashtags) be #frugalaf. Only thing worse than cheap is miserly.
@Selena, *the day
@Selena,
Alas we come at the word with different perspectives. My goal is to destigmatize the word "cheap" so it isn't viewed in such a negative manner. I'm sorry your grandmother said these things to you.
@Selena, someone recently came to my son's bar mitzvah and took food in plastic bags. they were not even invited. i was mortified but said nothing. the same woman took $20 I gave her for coffee, for the two of us when we went to the cafe in my apt complex. she brought back zero change. i had to sit outside with my dog. she keeps asking when we will go out again. well, that will never happen.
@Katy @ The Non-Consumer Advocate, I'll say you are fighting an uphill battle. And if you/your family/friend is ill, you will suggest they get medical attention. Unlike a cheap person who will avoid a doctor visit due to the outlay of cash.
@Anita Isaac, re: the coffee situation, she is a thief. Only thing worse than a grifter.
@Katy @ The Non-Consumer Advocate, by the time she said that, I knew she was toxic AND why she was. Which explains why I am vehemently pro-choice as well as women are NOT the doormats of society. No, not my grandfather but my g-grandma and g-grandpa. And while even today, we need a much stronger AND well funded child services.
Nice to officially meet you. I read your blog sometimes just like I read Kristen's sometimes. I guess I am more frugal, like you.