Meet a Reader | Kate in NY
This is exciting! We haven't had a Meet a Reader submission in quite some time, so when Kate sent me hers this week, I said, "Oh yay!"
Here's Kate:
1. Tell us a little about yourself
I’m Kate, 44, I live in Upstate New York with my dog. I’ll have another dog, but I’ll never have a better dog. I’m a government employee and have been my entire professional career.
I was in a long-term relationship, unmarried, for about 15 years. When that ended, I transferred offices and relocated to be closer to my family. Many changes at once! That was in January 2020…less than ideal timing.
But now I live in a beautiful town that I absolutely love. I get to see my family regularly. I spend time in the summer at our family camp, which is no longer five hours away.
I will be losing a parent here shortly and I’m so grateful that I am close by.
2. How long have you been reading The Frugal Girl?
Probably longer than I realize, several years. I was a huge fan of Frugalwoods, and when that was petering out, I went looking for alternatives. I found The Frugal Girl and The Non-Consumer Advocate and became a regular reader of both.
I still really miss those reader case studies at Frugalwoods and the comments that went with them. I learned so much valuable information from that comments section.
3. How did you get interested in saving money?
I think I’ve always had a natural inclination towards being a saver. I’m a hoarder in a way: I save up my leave time, I would never open all of my Christmas gifts at once, I like to be prepared with supplies on hand, and I love to get a deal.
By no means did I grow up poor, but I had a strong inclination that I did not want to have the same financial situation as my parents.
As an adult, I realize that it’s simply a difference of values. They spent their money on things that were important to them. They’re just not the same things that are important to me. Having money helps me to feel secure.
4. What's the "why" behind your money-saving efforts?
Initially, it’s been to be able to retire with plenty of money. Later, I was saving to buy a house. Neither my sister nor I have children, and at this time, I’m not in a relationship with anyone.
I feel very strongly that since I don’t have people, I will need money to provide for my care as I age.
5. What's your best frugal win?
2025 was a big year for me. I purchased my first house, and my retirement account hit a major mark.
I remember going to the financial advisor years ago, feeling somewhat defeated. I felt like I had been saving quite a bit of money and for a while, and it just didn’t look like things were gaining as much momentum as I wanted.
I don’t know how many years ago that was, but he was right: eventually the numbers came my way. Time makes you more money than money makes you money. I’m so grateful that I was a steady saver from the beginning of my career.
I had some excellent work mentors who encouraged these habits, and I try to pay that forward.
6. What's an embarrassing money mistake you've made?
There are two things I wish I’d done differently.
One, I should’ve opened a high-yield savings account much sooner. It was ridiculous how long my money was not earning appropriate interest. I definitely kick myself for that because I left thousands of dollars on the table. Unwise.
The second is a little trickier. When I purchased my house, I was debt-free. I was also credit card-free and have been for a very long time. I had no credit score. I've listened to plenty of Dave Ramsey, so I thought this would be no big deal. I would simply find a bank that did manual underwriting. I thought my balance sheet, income, down payment, employment history, etc. would make me an ideal mortgagee.
It did not.
After flat-out rejection from a mortgage broker who told me there would be NO WAY anyone would write me a mortgage, a work acquaintance gave me a recommendation for a loan officer at a local bank who was able to write the mortgage.
But my interest rate is still higher than I’d like or what it would be had I had my high credit score. I learned a very hard lesson about how banks have little to no ability to objectively look at the applicant. It has to meet the metrics within their system.
The flip of this, is I know that not having credit cards for all these years has absolutely saved me money. Interest rates were already high when I was buying, so a future refinance is the plan.
7. What's one thing you splurge on?
For a long time, I’ve spent a lot of money on beer. Less so lately, but if I’m drinking, I’m not on the bargain hunt.
8. What's one thing you aren't remotely tempted to splurge on?
Home decor. For the most part, my house is furnished with secondhand, curb finds, or hand-me-downs and I love it.
9. If $1000 was dropped into your lap today, what would you do with it?
I would definitely buy a few pairs of shoes. I need new hiking boots and sneakers. Since I pretty much work and walk my dog, those are priority items.
During the house save and buy my giving has reduced. There’s a few places I would really like to send a check to so those would be my pay it forward items.
10. What's the easiest/hardest part of being frugal?
I think the hardest part is the delayed gratification. I hope it will be worth it. I don’t have a great balance of spend and save.
It leans more towards save and do nothing. I'm good at the "big" saving, but sometimes fritter away the little dollars.
11. Is there anything unique about frugal living in your area?
I live in a town that has very restrictive zoning. That means retail is limited, which is great for me because I don’t need temptation. I have to travel quite a ways for most chains, especially the ones that are my greatest weaknesses.
The flip of that is it’s also a long way to the Aldi and I've never been to a Trader Joe’s. There’s a lot of old money here, which I think lends itself against rampant consumerism and more towards value. It’s good inspiration.
What single action or decision has saved you the most money over your life?
I had a partner who had similar money values, and we both benefited from that. But if you fast forward to where I am now, I do feel the benefits were somewhat disproportionate.
While we are both in great shape in terms of our retirement savings, one of us has a paid off house, and the other is on the ground floor of homeownership. The house we lived in was my boyfriend's before we got together. I never paid the mortgage, taxes, repairs, but did pay all the other household expenses.
While he was working a lot of overtime to pay off his student loans and mortgage, I was tending the homefront...and there was a lot to tend. At the time, I didn’t see how my labor was building his wealth, and how our arrangement with the household expenses would impact us both down the line. He was investing. I was simply spending.
What is something you wish more people knew?
I’ve never been married, but everyone should have a prenup. Because you if you didn’t write it, the State wrote it for you. I’m listening to a lot of James Sexton lately.
Did you ever receive any financial education in school or from your parents?
My grandmother was an excellent financial manager, and she taught me a lot. She always paid herself the car payment so she could pay cash for cars. She paid her mortgage off early and then used the money that had been going to the mortgage to send their kids to college.
She wasn’t able to attend college after high school, despite being accepted. Her father had died when she was very young and her brother, the only boy, was sent to college to become a pharmacist.
All of her four kids got college degrees without debt. When she retired, she went back to get her degree and graduated when she was 70.
Do you have any tips for frugal travel or vacations?
Ha! I save money on travel by not going. I enjoy being away when I’m there. I just don’t like all the prep and planning and travel time. If I could have one superpower, it would definitely be teleportation. If I go anywhere one of my friends has arranged for it and I’m happy to go along.
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Kate, I LOVE all the scenery photographs you sent. So beautiful! I also smiled when I read about how you furnished your house because I feel the exact same way about all my secondhand furnishings.
I also hate all the planning associated with travel. My perfect travel buddy would be one who would handle all the planning, and then all I'd have to do is show up. 😉
I haven't listened to much Dave Ramsey, so I didn't realize he thinks a credit score is unnecessary; that's kind of a wild take, especially since you usually need a credit score to even rent an apartment. I'm glad you got your house, though, and I'm hoping for a much better interest rate once you refinance.
Happy new year, Kate and Kristen! Kate, your photos are amazing and it was a delight to enjoy them - thank you for sharing the beauty of where you live and your gorgeous dog too - and congratulations on changing your life so successfully. I am glad you are able to be near family at this hard time and I am sending you warm hugs. And I wish you many amazing hikes this year; thank you so much for sharing such an inspirational story and including the details about your incredible Grandmother too.
Best wishes from Belfast,
Anne xx
It's nice to meet you Kate. It looks like you have a nice life.
I too waited a long time to put our savings in high yield accounts. It languished in our credit union for a long time. Thankfully I switched over the past several years.
It is amazing what the passing of time, and a red hot stock market, does to the value of investments. Congrats on meeting a big milestone.
Hi Kate! I lived upstate for fifteen years--from Albany to the Fingerlakes to the Canadian border--and I do sometimes miss those lake views.
@kristin@going country, @Kate, @Kristen, I also lived "in the 518 (Albany)" area for 16 years after moving from the Finger Lakes area after growing up on Long Island. I do miss the area, but not the cost of living and currently - all that snow! My daughter is currently in WNY, so we do go to NY a lot. I especially miss the Adirondacks. Kate, you live in a great part of NY that is a great spot for vacations, so no planning is necessary!
Hello, Kate! Beautiful pics and scenery. Sounds like you have learned a lot from what life has given you and are in a good place with a good head on your shoulders and great vision.
Thanks Kate for sharing with us, it is nice to meet you!
Very interesting to read how other countries go about renting and buying and finances generally. I've always been amazed at the importance of credit cards also - we only took out one this summer for travel abroad (and did not use it at all - so waste of money) and I have a corporate one for work purposes only . In NL we do not have something like a credit card score and it quite possible to get a mortgage. Obviously you need to provide bank statements and employer salary statements, and there is a national register for debts that financial institutions can check. This register includes student loan debts, being in arrears on your mortgage or utilities payments, and also debts for consumer goods like cars, online shops and mobile phones. Your debts are deducted from the amount you can borrow for a house.
For people who want to rent, there are two types of rental homes. The "social renting" cheaper houses that have long waiting lists and where income is leading (you cannot move into a very cheap house if you have a high income) and the commercial renters where you may need to show statements that you have 18 months of rent in your bank/savings account before you will be accepted as a renter.
No credit score...we also ran into that when my older son bought his first place. He had no college loans, purchased his car with cash, and never had a credit card. He had savings and a good work history and income. His mortgage would have been well below 25% of his take home income (even for HOA and maintenance). But, he could not get a loan without a cosigner. Because he was single at the time, my husband bought the house with him. They both went on the loan and the house. I don't normally suggest this to anyone at all, but I knew it would be fine for them, and it was. A couple years later when my son was married, he and his wife got a loan and DH was taken off the mortgage and the deed. My younger son was just starting college when all that happened. He didn't need student loans, but we learned the lesson, and he took out a credit card immediately with a $500 limit. He used it monthly for gas and paid it off each month. By the end of college, with just that one card, he had a credit score of 780 and was able to get a mortgage easily with no cosigner and only having a short professional work history (besides his years of working at a grocery in high school and college). Crazy cause oldest son was lower risk, but no credit score made it nearly impossible. The mortgage officers said they had never had anyone with no credit history at all. They were shocked he wasn't in a system anywhere at the age of 25.
It was crazy to me that he could get approved for an apartment at twice the cost of his mortgage (and even had the downpayment), but couldn't get a loan, but if you don't check the boxes of the system, it is difficult or you get screwed with the interest rate.
Our system doesn't reward good, financial health. We do use CC's when we travel and for online purchases but do very little else in the credit system. We watch our credit score fluctuate and its almost laughable how this system works. We've tried to help our grown kids navigate the system, even they have experienced some terrible things financially.
Nice to meet you, Kate! I like your pretty pictures. You and I are sort of opposites with regards to retirement. Because I've stayed home to homeschool our 7 children, I have very little retirement. VERY. LITTLE. We have no house because we live in a parsonage. My children know that it is a big possibility that they will be doing a chunk of taking care of us. I don't regret our choices, but we knew from the start what that meant for our retirement.
There are accounts called spousal IRAs, for non-working spouses, using money from the working spouse. I wonder if that could be used for your retirement planning. And I hope your congregation is Very Generous to your family!
Our congregation is very generous, but it is also small. And we have 7 children. There just isn't much extra. I am, however, thinking a little in advance about what I want to do when I am done homeschooling (I will NOT be going back to school to be a nurse. 😉 ). I am hoping to invest any money I make when I have a job since I know we can live on my husband's salary.
I loved reading about your life and your valuable insights.
I may be mistaken, but I think that a credit score also impacts the insurance premiums that companies can charge and some employers look at it as part of a background check. It is crazy that having no debt can be a deficit though. That reminds me of an elderly relative who years ago had difficulty getting his first ever credit card (which he finally needed in order to purchase gas) because never in his life had he ever needed credit.
I too have found that consistent saving/ moderate frugality eventually snow balls into something very positive.
Wealth can seem relative. Living in a community where your values align and rampant consumerism is not the norm is a big plus. Old money didn’t get there by spending - it was by saving and building capital.
In some states it does. And during the Great Recession, some cc companies would lower credit limits based on how much you charged for groceries (bad assumption IMHO).
You live in a beautiful area, Kate!
I think your point about a prenuptial agreement is important--the same stands for a will. To add a point though, I didn't get a prenup before I got married because neither my now-husband or I had assets to protect. We came into the marriage with a similar (low) net worth, and prenups don't protect future earning or assets (in my jurisdiction.)
We did get a will after our daughter was born, though. The existing laws did work for us (the surviving spouse gets everything and when both parents die the kids get everything split evenly) but we got a will because we wanted to name a specific family member guardian of our children, if needed.
But if our situation was more complicated--if one of us owned property or had a large inheritance prior to marriage; if one of us had children from a prior relationship, or had a child with special needs, etc. we would have wanted to be more careful. It's not romantic, but marriage is a legal agreement!
Plus, if a spouse has a business that goes bankrupt, the bankruptcy will extend to the family home and possessions including inheritance of the other spouse ( in my jurisdiction).
Depends on how the business is structured (if US). Sole proprietor can be a financial death knell.
Greetings from Central NY, Kate! I've been trying to guess from your lovely photos what sector of the state you're in, but I confess I'm stumped. Can you give us a general idea (the Hudson Valley, the Finger Lakes, etc.)?
And I hear you about planning for retirement as a single woman (a widow, in my case). I also hope that your end-of-life paperwork is in place and that you've got a trusty, somewhat younger person to act as your executor, health care proxy, etc.
Finally, one of my objectives this year is to open one of those high-interest savings accounts, for the reasons you mention.
I'm guessing Finger Lakes. I think that bridge may be in Cooperstown. (I have a thing for stone arch bridges. 😉 )
As a WNYer, I'm also trying to guess! Adirondacks, perhaps?
Kate, thank you for sharing your good life and very interesting story. I am sorry for your impending loss.
So many people - including myself - are planning to be financially independent in late life. Even if there are adult children, that does not guarantee they will live close by or have the financial resources to help out.
Kristen - what a huge surprise to open up your blog and see a brand new design. I closed and reopened it to make sure it was real! I don’t like change in general, but know I will love the new The Frugal Girl.
ahahaha, well, I was also surprised because I didn't realize it was happening so soon. We are all unexpectedly adjusting together.
I like the new design, but I really miss the feature where you could link to the previous or next blog post at the bottom of each post. I have been enjoying re-reading your archives, but can't really do that now.
Ooh, ok, lemme see what I can do to make that appear again.
What a great meet-a-reader! Kate, you are living a very cool life with your furry companion. That scenery doesn't even look real, so beautiful.
It really struck me, the part about paying the household expenses and participating in the maintenance and other inevitable upkeep admin that all homes need... and thus building your ex partner's investment. I mean, obviously, wherever you lived you'd have had rent to pay, so I'm hoping the disparity wasn't too great, but you could have been building and upgrading your own nest during at least a few of those years BUT on the upside, you probably learned all kinds of clever home maintenance tricks and were very experienced and ready to go when the time came!
I'm afraid I might be missing some posts now!! I used to just choose the month and then be able to read them all in a list order. Now when I search "January 2026" it takes me to some posts that are from August, November, etc. I can't figure out why those are showing, but I hate to think that I'm missing new posts!
Ooh, ok, I will put that on my list of things to fix. Thank you for letting me know!
I like the theme, Kristen — nice choice. I can see some of the things that remain to be tweaked but overall I think it's going to be very good!
Kate, to your points about high-yield savings, the investment loss (so to speak) at the end of your relationship, and credit score — I see lots of things I've done wrong. I really, really like to be right (really). But there is truth in "hindsight is 20/20" and "afford yourself the grace you afford to others" as well. It's good you plan a refi. 🙂
Haha, like the "free grilling recipes" booklet. I need to figure out how to take that out!
It is hard to believe that you were denied a mortgage because you were not in debt or even using credit cards. And you had high savings. Makes no sense. Grateful you finally got a banker who recognized what a good customer you would be. Unfortunately, at a higher rate.
It is great that your job allows you to live where you love. This is so often NOT the case these days for so many.
And it is very smart to prepare as you are for the possibility that you will not have folks around you to assume responsibility to help you as you age. Too many folks think: Oh, I have family. No worries, someone will be there. And then, alas, too late they find out that this is NOT the case.
You point out that what you want to spend money on differs from that of others including your parents. That knowledge is huge and I'm sure it has helped you save over the years.
It's impressive how much you did save even if you had a time when you were not getting interest on savings.
Impressive that grandma got a degree at 70. Even more impressive how she managed to provide for her children to get a college education.
I would say these days that although every job, even low paying, wants someone with a college degree, that not all degrees are worth the money as is the case with so many colleges in terms of what they charge.
As a society we need to reexamine where the jobs are and will be (especially with the proliferation of AI) and then provide education in those areas. Too many folks have degrees and can't get jobs, even low paying ones (you are overqualified. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.).
I appreciate how well you have thought about how you want to live and then aligned your spending and saving to those choices. That self knowledge is invaluable.
Love this post -Kate, beautiful photos and beautiful words! you have such a great outlook on the bigger picture and seems that you have acquired much wisdom along the way
I also listen to Dave Ramsey going on now probably 30 years - and I love him. I'm surprised the Frugal girl hasn't listened to him! His process is tried and true - but your experience with credit score is definitely a point where in some parts of the US/World there are going to be different nuances. I'm glad you were able to get in the house anyway! Thinking of you during this time with your parents - very very happy for you to have had this time with them and wishing all of you peace during this transition.
Some of Dave Ramsey's listeners have such extraordinary amounts of debt that the only way to get out is to stop using credit completely, because they are unable to control their spending and they keep adding to their debt.
I think the thing he is most criticized for is his belief that all credit cards should be cancelled, because people cannot use credit responsibly.
Dave Ramsey's insistence that people should only buy actively managed mutual funds, rather than low cost exchange-traded funds (ETFs) is also pretty wild at this point in history. There is no good data to support his assertion that actively managed mutual funds will consistently get better returns than ETFs.
I'm not a massive fan of what I know of Dave Ramsey; some of his advice is helpful but the impression I get is that he thinks of all debt as bad (which I disagree with) and I dislike some of his personal views.
Very cool, Kate. Upstate is such a lovely place. I applaud your level-headedness about your future, I think that's as important as being non-wasteful financially.
Kristen, nice redesign, easy on the eyes and efficient use of space. Well done!
It was nice to meet you, Kate. There was so much that you have written that has struck a chord with me. First and Foremost, I do wish that young women understood the importance of protecting themselves financially when in a long-term relationship that does not involve marriage. (Marriage can require different protections). "Sharing expenses" is not always equitable especially when real estate is added into equation. My daughter is in such a relationship, and I don't feel good about. I've done my best to advise her without creating a rift. Any advice from you or others? Perhaps there is a book out there.
• The second thing you brought up was the disproportional use of credit score by financial institutions. When I bought my first car, a credit check was a very simple thing. There was not a score. The bank looked at job stability, the number of years at the same address, and did you pay your bills on time. Paying off an installment loan was a plus. Now, I can't even begin to figure it out. I do not understand how I cannot have a near-perfect credit score. I have accounts that are 30 years old and I've never had a late payment. I read about how the score is reached and tried to educate myself. I have tried to keep my score high, but I think it is an incomplete and myopic assessment of an individual's financial health. I just shake it off.
• I also miss the Frugalwoods's case studies. They were packed with useful information and different perspectives.
Thanks for sharing and your words of wisdom.
Bee, I made a similar comment about legal protections when living together. Basically, there are none. As far as your daughter, I know that it is hard to give "unwanted" advice. I will tell you that my own daughter's story of her mortgage has been used as an example several times, if that helps any. I wish I knew of anything else to help.
Bee, the other major factor in a credit score is how much of your available credit is in use. They say that ideally, the utilization percentage should be under about 30%. So if you have $10,000 credit limit on your one credit card, they want you to have only $3000 actually used.
Another factor, allegedly a smaller one, is how much you pay for your home (rent, mortgage) relative to your income.
Hope this helps.
Hey, the blog looks different!
Anyway, Kate, it's great to meet you. I adore your dog - so cute, and your scenery pictures are great. I fell in love with them.
I want to offer my sympathy, as you said you will be losing a parent soon. You are young to be losing a parent, but sometimes, it happens that way. I wish peace for that situation for you all.
Thank you for explaining the often over-looked downside of living together. You said you helped build your boyfriend's wealth, not yours. That absolutely happens, and you surely are not the only in that situation. As another example, my daughter was not living with her boyfriend, but they purchased a house together to move into after marriage, then they broke up before they married (which was the right choice for them, in the end). As there was no divorce because no marriage, she was simply stuck on a mortgage with an ex. Thankfully, he paid the mortgage himself until he could refinance it in just his name, but as our lawyer said bluntly about our daughter's position legally, "Her a-- is going to be hanging out there to dry, if he doesn't make payments or refinance."
You sound very level-headed about your future, and congratulations on getting a house! Thanks for offering your post!
Ah joint mortgages...I'm so glad your daughter came out okay on that one, and likely learned a very valuable lesson in the process. Even if it is someone you are related to you never know. I know a young man who signed a mortgage with his mother. When she divorced from her abusive husband was going through serious emotional issues she up and moved across the country without thinking how she would keep up her part of the payment along with her new rent payment. They had to foreclose, and the young man (who was 18) was severely financially injured before he even had a chance to get going with his life.
What a beautiful part of the world you live in, Kate!
I experienced the same problem getting a mortgage 11 years ago, even though we owned a house outright and had no debt. A local bank gave us a mortgage and fortunately after we sold our first house, we paid off the second. The entire credit industry does not serve customers well. It rewards bad behavior. OK, I'm off my soapbox...
When my nephew asked his girlfriend to move in with him, my sister the CPA (his mother) sat him down and gave him a long lecture about how such arrangements almost always financially benefit the man, not the woman. Interestingly, he acted on her advice and added his girlfriend to the deed of his house but not the mortgage.
Elaine, your sister sounds like a person of great character!
Your nephew sounds like a person with good character who actually loved his girlfriend (although marriage as a legal commitment would have really proved that.) Your sister is wise.
It's really me, Book Club Elaine. Elaine N is an old screen name that popped up uninvited.
Kate -- thank you for sharing your life with us! I loved the beautiful lake pictures. I like your point about prenups. Long term relationships become business partnerships, but typically neither party considers this at the outset. Especially when you are young!
I love planning trips so just take me along next time 😉
Beautiful scenery and a beautiful dog! Lovely to meet you Kate, and totally agree on delayed gratification!
Thank you for your story, Kate, and showing us a lovely part of the world!
Kristen, it seems that comments are now all on one page? (I'm reading on a laptop). It used to be they were split and would have to be loaded in chunks. I appreciate that change!
I also love your photos. Are all of them from your family's camp and/or the region of the country where you live?
Your dog is adorable! What's his/her name and breed?
Reading about how you got (financially) burned in that long-term relationship ought to be a lesson for all of us. I'm single, never married, never lived with a man, but I have plenty of gal pals who were in give-and-take relationships -- she gave and her man took. It never ends well for the woman. We all need to learn to stand up for ourselves and not be taken advantage of; if that means we get labeled a witch, spelled with a B, then so B it.
Actually, you probably came out of your romance fairly ok: I know a woman who lived with her significant other for more than 30 years; he convinced her they didn't need a marriage license ("it's just a piece of paper", etc.) She didn't work but kept house for him all those years. He had a good-paying job and bought property out in the country; they were either upper-middle-class or wealthy, but it was his paycheck that did it. They grew older -- and then he dumped her for a "sweet young thing." (Who he married!) He just came home one day and said, "I've met someone new. She is moving into MY house -- it is MY house, not yours. You've got a week to get out of here." Despite being his long-term partner, the woman had no credit, no Social Security credits for 30+ years, no money of her own, and even "her" vehicle was titled in his name. If not for a sibling taking her in, she would've ended up homeless. She now lives in poverty, living in a small bedroom with her sister and brother-in-law. Yes, she even lost the car. She had little recourse in the state where they lived; the legal system (esp. the male lawyers and male judge) treated her like dirt.
I think more women need to hear about these real-life scenarios before they get taken in like this, too. (No pun intended).
I meant to say "work outside the home," not just "work" -- housekeeping is definitely work, as well, even though unpaid.
Kate what interesting and honest answers! So sorry that you are in the process of losing a parent; even if there is advance warning, it is still Very Difficult.
I wonder what Dave Ramsey would say about your home purchase troubles.
What are the stores that tempt you?
Look on eBay for “like new” versions of the hiking boots you want!
Your grandmother was phenomenal! The things she did used to be normal commonsense approaches to life and now they are weirdly perfect and perfectly weird.
Congratulations on home ownership and thank you for giving us a peak into your interesting life of contentment, practicality, and beauty.
Hi Kate! What is the doggo's name?! And back story? SO ADORABLE.
So nice to meet you, Kate! What a sweet pup you have - priceless. I am so sorry that you are going thru a parent's transitioning, it is poignant and beautiful at the same time. Not everyone gets to see or plan their end days. I was able to with my parent, but not my husband or brother.
Your pictures are beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Kate! Thank you for sharing your story. Who needs to vacation when they live in a beautiful spot?
I actually had the same issue with credit cards buying my house a few years ago because I had no credit. I had to open a card and wait 6 months and then I could get financing.
We made our daughters authorized users - which built their credit score since related. The Great Recession changed the rules re: credit "points" for authorized users. Some folks would take money, make a person an authorized user.
Younger kiddo was going to finance part of the purchase price of her car. She had two "lines" of credit, auto maker wanted three. Finance guy said if they didn't finance kiddo, he had local options that would. Guess who financed kiddo's loan - yep, auto maker.
Gorgeous photos! I'd love to hike in your area. Thanks for sharing!
It might help to think about your time with your ex-partner as "you are renting, and he is your landlord." You were paying monthly costs without building equity, just like with renting. It wasn't a "fail", just a different choice.
Thanks for sharing, Kate! It was great to have another Meet a Reader submission! 🙂
Yay, a new "Meet a Reader" post! Thanks for contributing, Kate. I enjoyed your words and pictures!
So many things I relate to here, Kate. Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful pictures. Your dog is adorable; looks like an energetic and inspiring hiking buddy! Someone dear to me ended up in a situation like you described: she worked for her husband's business for years, getting paid in cash, and was left not only with no money when they divorced, but also a loss of many precious years paying into social security. Something about his financial dealings (or maybe her unwillingness to fight for what was hers) meant that she also couldn't pull from his portion of social security, so her retirement was severely curtailed. Another one of my friends just went through a "gray divorce" and is grappling, at 64, with the emotional and financial implications of losing a relationship she's had since she was 17 and never dreamed she would lose. Prenups seem scary and pessimistic, maybe, but a one-time uncomfortable process can mean a lot down the road if anything happens!
I loved reading this! Congrats to you on all you have accomplished. Do you have any knowledge of how the Frugalwoods family are doing? I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I kept checking for an explanation on their blog. I just became very invested (no pun intended) in them!
Thanks Kate for reviving Meet the Reader! I too enjoyed the Frugalwoods case studies and all the comments; I love Kristen's MTRs even more, because I feel like I "know" some folks here.
Your life is inspiring - planning ahead for future needs, moving to be near family/friends, enjoying the beautiful area with your hiking buddy... We're trying to think ahead and be intentional about saving up "enough" money too, to help set up plans for care, advice, and healthcare as we get older. Even if there are some younger family members/friends, it's hard to predict what help might be available at whatever moment it may be needed. Health care costs are such a wild card.
Congratulations on your 2025 milestones, and the beautiful life you're creating up in NY!
Hi Kate,
Fellow upstate NYer here.
Transplanted from NYC,32 years ago to a very small town,took some getting used too but I wouldn't live anywhere else.
Your doggo is adorable and your pictures are gorgeous!
Kudos to you but every time I hear "interest rates are high" I about come unglued. They are NOT high - high was 18.63% (mortgage) in October 1981. We ended up paying 13% in 1985 as our property was zoned AG (a whopping 3 acres) and many financial institutions would not loan money on properties zoned AG. Of course CD rates were paying almost as much at the time - 18.65% in December 1980 (if memory serves me).
You've been doing a good job keeping things in perspective. And realizing some choices of the past were not the best but yet did not deter you.
Katie you have such good vibes!