Today’s post is another one inspired by my read through Ken Honda’s Happy Money book; he wrote something that made me think, and I wanted to talk about it with you guys!
In one chapter, he made sort of a passing reference to a container as a metaphor for our monetary or material desires in life.
If we have a very large container, we can put a lot of money in, but our container feels rather empty, like we don’t have enough.
But if we have a smaller container, it is a lot easier to fill.
Put another way….
If your container is the size of $10,000/month, your $5000 paycheck will leave it only half full.
But if your container is a $5000/month size, your $5000 paycheck will fill the container to the brim.
Attainable dreams: my dream car and my dream house
I have told you guys many times before about my dream car, which is a Honda Civic with a sunroof.
I haven’t bought mine yet. This is one of my kids’ Civics from several years ago.
Sometimes people have chuckled at the fact that this is my dream car, saying, “Maybe you should aim higher!”
But I know that when I finally do get my little Civic, my heart will be happy. My “car desire container” is actually, factually Civic-sized, so my Civic purchase will fill that container perfectly. ; )
A bonus: this dream car is attainable!
I told you all recently about my dream house, which is honestly also rather attainable, except for maybe the part about being on top of a hill.
If I get a little house with a porch and an en suite bathroom and some wood floors…that will legitimately fill my “house desire container”.
Can you change the size of your container?
This is the part I really want to discuss with you all: Can we change the sizes of our metaphorical containers? Or are they predetermined?
I’m not sure I did anything in particular to make the very attainable Civic my dream car.
I’m also not sure I did anything special to form my house desires into something pretty simple.
So, what is it that shapes our containers, which are really just our expectations? I don’t know!
I suppose that, like many things in life, it is a combination of nature and nurture. The nature part is pretty fixed, and when we are kids, we have little control over the nurture and the influences around us.
However, as adults, we do have some choices over what we surround ourselves with. If we are around people who normalize having very big “containers” for almost everything, then that will seem normal to us.
Imagine having a container of this size!
But if we are around people who have smaller containers, that can help normalize a more attainable, realistic type of expectation.
This is the value I see in people who operate as de-influencers; instead of influencing you to upsize your container, they work to normalize a downsized container.
They say things like:
Here’s a normal house that I am happy in!
Here’s a normal body that I am happy in!
Here’s a secondhand coat I happily wear!
Here’s a free activity I happily do!
Here’s a water bottle I got from the Goodwill bins!
(Oh wait, that last example is me.)
My Goodwill bins water bottle, thoroughly sanitized
And when we see this kind of thing, I do think it can help to make our metaphorical containers a little smaller and a little more fillable.
Dicey
Tuesday 9th of December 2025
Hello, TFG. I just sent you a message. Check your email when you have a moment. - Dicey
Tina Lopez
Tuesday 9th of December 2025
I like the idea of "containers'! It would be great if more people "right-sized" their containers. They might find more happiness and contentment than they thought was possible! Too many people are still looking through the social media lens at the lives of people they know or admire and find themselves lacking. A bigger house, a pricier car, more expensive travel- the list goes on. Maybe they should try a daily gratitude list! Kristen, I know you will get that Civic and the right house for you! No one deserves it more!
WilliamB
Tuesday 9th of December 2025
Coming late to the game. I think you can change the size of your container, and doing so for most of us depends on the influences around us and deliberate use of strategic deprivation.
There’s another factor, I think, what I’m having trouble characterizing succinctly. The same choice can have different meanings for different people. My mother grew up poor and as an adult was quite interested in not only being well off but looking well off. I didn’t grow up poor. For me, buying a table at Goodwill demonstrates cleverness; for her, it demonstrates poverty.
Complicated subject and I keep writing and deleting additional thoughts. Guess it’s time to stop here, then.
Joyce
Tuesday 9th of December 2025
My sister is seven years older than me and my three sisters and she has the need for a huge container. I think growing up with only a little made her that way but I didn't seem to turn out the same. It is baffling how much she shops and buys.
Carol Lindberg
Tuesday 9th of December 2025
I'm a Financial Advisor and I haven't read Ken Honda's book Happy Money. I do love the concept and I'll have to check out the book. The first place to start is your goals and dreams which will help determine the size of your containers (and your income, of course, both current and projected. Kristin is a great example of this. She was able to support herself as her blog grew & because she lived frugally. Then she enrolled in nursing school and knew that she would have much higher income when she graduated. So now that she working as a nurse, she can now increase the size of her containers and save to buy her dream car & house.). I absolutely do not believe that the size of your containers is fixed and they could be adjusted as your goals, dreams and income changes. My CEO was in town today and my team and I, along with my team, had about 5 hours with him which was so fantastic. He pointed out that it's much easier to spend today than save for tomorrow (an obvious point and with Kristen's amazing frugal blog, perhaps the reverse is true for this group or at least easier). One useful exercise is, after initially determining your goals and dreams which of course can/will change over time, then build your containers starting with your current income. For example, you can have a container for basic household expenses (mortgage/rent/utilities, etc.), risk management (health/life & disability insurance), emergency fund savings, retirement savings, college/trade school if you have kids, vacations, etc.. Assume your dream is to travel to all seven continents - that is an expensive dream and if you have a container for that full expense, you could be discouraged. So perhaps start with a much smaller container. Then for example, if you get a raise or if your child graduates from day care to a free public school, you can use part of that increase/savings to increase your container for your dream.) And sometimes life happens and you have to decrease your containers, hopefully temporarily. When you have identified your dreams/goals/containers/priorities, this can help you make spending decisions. If you are deciding between a new car and a used car, you may choose to buy the used car so you have more money to put in your seven continents container. Kristen, this has been a fun exercise to think about!