Ask the Readers: Frugal Birthday Party Gift Ideas
Hi Kristen,
I love your blog, and comment occasionally (which is rare for me on other blogs!)
This may be less of a problem for you, because ... homeschooling, but for us it's an issue. My daughter gets invited to 20-something birthday parties for classmates a year. We end up going to many of them, and the gifts really add up quickly.
We want to be generous birthday gift-givers, but not spend an arm and a leg. Any ideas for affordable birthday gifts for kids' friends?
Thanks!
Jessica
In 2012, someone wrote in with a similar question, and I shared my answer in a Q&A post. There were some helpful suggestions in the comments, but since it was 2012, there were fewer people around here to share ideas!
So, now seems like a good time to resurrect the topic and devote a whole ask-the-readers post to it.
You are totally right that homeschooling cuts way back on the number of birthday parties one gets invited to, so this is not an area where I have lots of expertise.
But I know the community here has a varied population, and I think my readers will come through for you.
I have saved loads since I stopped buying birthday cards for kids. They seldom pay any attention to a card, it serves more as a tag (to:... &from:...). I spend about R50-R80 on a classmate's gift; a card alone can easily run to R40. I use a piece of coloured paper with a shiny sticker or two. Also, less waste and less clutter!
Yep! I never bought cards for kids birthdays. I put their name on the gift and it's good to go!
During back to school shopping season, I stock up on stuff like markers, construction paper and colored pencils, and toss a bunch of that type stuff into a plastic shoebox to make "keep busy boxes" for younger kids, and I also tend to do a quick run through of clearance sections for either craft stuff or toys which I throw in a closet to pull out as I need them. My son is 8, so luckily their taste tends to run fairly consistent, as long as I stay away from any gimmicky toy-of-the-moment. Stuff like legos, nerf guns, sports stuff, are always in fashion with that group.
We don't do cards either, and I of course hold onto every gift bag, so that saves a few bucks a pop. I have found that as the kids get older (and me more exhausted!), that I find myself feeling less guilty about turning down party invites, particularly if it's a kid I've never heard of- the class has to invite everyone, so unless it's someone I know my son regularly hangs out with, then I politely decline. That is instant cost savings, not to mention the time savings!
Curious to know when you say "the class has to invite everyone" - is that really true? I have no kids so I have no clue, but that seems nuts!! 🙂 Or is it more the socially acceptable thing has become that you need to invite everyone so feelings aren't hurt?
I hear that it is actually true and I believe it's a not-hurting-feelings kind of thing.
We've always done small birthday parties for our kids, where they invite a friend over for a sleep-over. I can't imagine hosting a whole class! That'd be overwhelming.
I know it seems like another over-protective PC thing, but you'd be surprised at how cruel kids can be and how clueless some parents are. Deliberate and persistent exclusion is a form of bullying and some parents totally enable their children...I don't know if it's ignorance or carelessness, but it can be a big problem. For instance, my daughter was invited to a party where every girl in the class was invited except one...can you imagine doing such a thing?! But people do it, or at least allow their children to do it.
Well, we would not invite a whole classrooms because 25-30 kids, really? The thing is to do it discretely, and to choose between a couple (3-4) real good friends or to go bigger and invite all the girls (or boys) to a theme birthday. But never invite "almost everyone but this girl", that is cruel. I was very happy when my 6 yo. decided to invite only 2 friends from school for a birthday celebration (despite having made more friends at school). And my 4 yo. didn't want any friends, only family, so that settles it. But I will never invite a whole class!!
In the school my kids attended in the earlier years, as well as the schools I attended, that was always the rule. That is, if your child is handing out invitations at school. If it's not done at school, like if you mailed them, then the rule doesn't apply.
The rule for invites at my son's school is if you'd like the teacher to help by putting them in home folders, everyone is invited. Otherwise you can invite whoever you want or don't want. For presents, we spend $10-$15 (were in Canada, so things are pricier plus exchange rate) and we go to the local toy store and pick out a small play Mobil person set for $5-$15 (get two if $5 ones). They wrap them there, we pair with a homemade card and voilà ! We've found for ages 4-8 girl and boy that the play Mobil has been well received! That's the ages we have experience with.
We do. Luckily, our class sizes are pretty small here in TX (about 20), but if he is going to bring invites to class, he has to bring one for everyone. We, of course, are able to email or call other parents directly to invite, but we don't get class contact lists, so if there are 3-4 kids he hangs out with all the time in class and I can't find mom/dad on facebook, we invite the full boat.
In all of the schools where I have worked, if the parent wants to use the school to distribute the invitations, then the whole class is invited. If the parent invites the children off of school grounds, then it is up to the parent.
Teachers shouldn't be put in the position of distributing the invitations to a select group. Its nice of them to help with giving out the invitations.
We also limit "in class" parties to lunchtime treats.
As a first grade teacher, I completely understand those types of rules. For the kids who almost never get asked to a birthday party, the whole issue can be rather devastating. Sadly, potential birthday party invitations can even be used as leverage in playground negotiations. My favorite is when parents let their kids invite a few close friends, and add one child to the mix who doesn't often get included in birthday parties.
I like this. When my daughter was a kid, she was kind and observant enough to see who needed a friend or an invitation. We had some great parties, usually an outing of some kind for 4-8 girls.
Although my daughters are now grown, I found the last of the 'gift boxes' while getting ready to move. Whenever I saw a great clearance deal, I picked a few things up so we shopped from the box for birthday parties. Journals were a huge hit and paired with gel markers bought at back to school shopping were always a hit. Funky socks, small bottles of nail polish, bath and bodyworks freebies and games/movies purchased after Christmas were always a hit. Scholastic always has a few books for a crazy good price so I would keep a few of those on hand. End of summer is a great time to pick up super soaker guns are a huge hit with boys. And I often still find new, still sealed toys at the thrift shop. A couple of months ago, I picked up a Melissa and Doug jewelry making kit that I took to the beach to help my nieces make necklaces and bracelets. And if you're a good baker or candy maker, every child loves home baked goodies packed in a creative way. My girls just loved a reason to get together with their friends. Presents are part of the fun but shouldn't be a reason for stress. Just let them 'shop the box', keep leftover gifts bags on hand and have them make a card. Believe it or not, I miss that part of their childhood!
My mother-in-law had a "birthday box" that she would stock with toys and things she found on clearance and her kids shopped from the box. This is something I'm working on starting with my kiddos.
Our daughters often baked cookies to take as birthday gifts. The recipient always seemed thrilled to get a whole bag or basket of cookies all to themselves. We bought gift baskets or bags, and cellophane at the Dollar Store, and sometimes bought a balloon as well - just $2 or $3 to add something special.
One time a kid gave my son coins from several foreign countries. I'm sure that was part of a something laying around at home. My son loved it and still has it now as an adult.
We usually go with a small kids' book. Something like The Cat in the Cat. Usually 6.99 or less from Amazon, and since they are classics, we can usually stock up during a 3 for 1 sale.
With these books being such great classics, I would worry that most children by the time they are having parties have these already? It might just be me because we were very into books at that age but I'm curious....
I gave the same gift at almost every single birthday party as a kid: a coloring book and a new box of crayons. We loved new crayons, so in our minds we were giving a huge treasure. My mom stocked up on tons of boxes of crayons at back to school time, and dollar stores always have coloring books.
I always have my kids give one of two gifts. Coloring books and crayons are still our default, and I stock up on the back to school art supplies too. The other option is a picture book from Amazon. There are tons of great titles for less than $5.
While we don't have kids, there are 4 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 2 to 22 years old and a 16 month old grandnephew. Add in my hubby's sister and brother and my sister, and wow that's a lot of gifts through out the year!
We scour sales bins, thrift stores, regular stores, online - any where we are just shopping for us. If we find something 1 of the fam members would like, and it's a good price, we get it for their birthday or Christmas. Last year we spent a total of $200 on birthdays and Christmas for all the family members, and gave multiple gifts at each occasion to each family member, that's about $16 per person per year.
Some things we purchased last year and this year: a watch, a t-shirt, 2 model kits, glow in the dark stars, coffee mugs, books, adult coloring books, markers, Pop! vinyl figures, video games, kids toys, Polariod film.
I second all the above ideas like shopping sales and getting classics/obvious hits; they're right on target with what we did (and things that didn't get used usually got packed in an Operation Christmas Child box). The other thing I'll add is that we were overwhelmed by parties in the younger age/grades, but the number of parties dropped off as the kids got older (kids didn't necessarily have a party every year anymore; they might take one or two friends with them to an amusement park or something for their birthday instead).
And one last thing - we did a party one year where we teamed up with another friend who had a close birthday, and together we hosted a party where each kid just brought one wrapped book as a present - then all the kids picked one to take home (pass it to your left or something). That cut down on cost for parents (as someone pointed out, you can find classic/instant hit kids books for sale online or someplace like Kohls for $5) - and, it felt better to us, since we're not big proponents of our birthday kids having 30 presents to open, just felt excessive to us personally. Anyway, perhaps if you had a party like that, it could spark a trend (it seemed to in our case as others did something similar)? Our kids loved it; they were really mostly focused on the time together having fun with friends.
My son is still a toddler and has only been to a handful of parties, but my personal limit is $5 for toys. We've had good luck buying small kits of sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and board books for his friends at discount stores like TJ Maxx and Marshalls. I figure that these are things that are okay to have "extras" of in the house (books being a possible exception - we have too many for our small apartment!)
I usually get five dollar gift cards to a fast food restaurant/ice cream place. I know a lot of kids give really expensive gifts at these parties. However, I have never seen a kid disappointed with even a small amount of gift card.
This is what I do! A balloon tied to a $5 gift card for the local ice cream shop. It's always a hit.
Yes, we do this too!
These are all great ideas - I have done most of them, too. Stock up on the back-to-school sales for items (which are also great for Operation Christmas Child.) I agree that for toddlers, you can spend in the $5 range (sidewalk chalk, coloring books and crayons, bubbles, matchbox cars, etc.) For older kids, I spend in the $10 range. For girls I have done the less expensive Barbies or a craft kit (with a coupon from JoAnn's or Michael's). My daughter's (age 9) friends currently have a thing for the Beanie Boo stuffed animals (about $6-7 or $4-5 for the keychain size.) I have paired one of those with a movie-sized box of candy or a lip gloss/nail polish. For boys, there are Lego kits in the $10 range. For a while, I bought a lot of "stomp rockets" (about $10.) Also, I have done a lot of $10 gift cards to the bookstore, ice cream store, or toy store. Once, when one of my sons was turning 8, he received $8 cash from a friend - he thought that was great!
We do homemade cards and reuse bags. When my kids were younger like kindergarten and first grade, I found TJ Maxx always had decent gifts for under $10.00. Now I probably spend more like $15, however, we aren't going to twenty parties a year. I sometimes use coupons or gift cards to get the gifts. Last week we used a Target gift card to buy some Legos. I probably would have spent less without the gift card. I have utilized Kohl's coupons to get good deals on toys and beach towels. Sometimes we can't make a party due to scheduling conflicts, so then we don't give a gift.
1st of all I limit how many parties they actually go to. Many schools have a rule that if you want to pass out the invites at school it is either to A) the entire class or B) the entire gender. If you only want to invite a few choice friends then you must invite outside of school. So often time parents jut invite everyone.. assuming not everyone will show!
So I have told my 3 that we just cannot DO every party. (My friend with 4 kids close in age often has invites every month.. some months every weekend).
When kids were younger I had the gift box with random clearance items in it.. Now that they are older I have stepped away from that. Since kids are only going to parties of **friends** I try to make gift a little more personal.
If only 1 child is invited I stick to my $12-15 rule. If the twins were both invited we either get 2 small gifts or go for a larger/costlier gift from both.
For this tween stage I go simple! Cheap card from dollar store- I buy the $40 pack of 4-$10 I Tunes gift cards and earn gas points at my grocery. Most of my recent gifts have been a $10 card and a box or 2 of movie theater candy.
Simple, easy and non cluttering!
We gave cash several times BUT packaged in fun ways.....for example gluing/taping quarters to a piece of cardboard to make a funny face. Used about $10 in quarters.
A money umbrella - tape dollars bills to pieces of ribbon and hang from the inside of the umbrella. When the umbrella is closed it looks like a normal umbrella but opened over the head of the gift recipient it appears to be "raining" money.
Another idea is a posterboard "story" with candy bars glued on in appropriate places. For example, "When you were born, STARBURST in the sky over your head...." Use about $10 of candy bars.
That sounds kind of embarrassing. My mom would do stuff like that and it caused me a lot of discomfort around my friends. Make-do gifts just make the kid look/feel poor.
I dunno, I thought those ideas sounded fun! You'd have to know your giftee, though...I suppose in some circles, gifts like these would be looked down upon (which is a little bit sad.)
I agree with Kristen, those ideas sound creative and fun to me! I probably wouldn't give it to a teen or tween but for a younger kid, they would probably get a real kick out of it. Sometimes the simpler things that aren't the generic expected things end up being the favorite. But to each their own.
These ideas actually sounded great to me! I am going to keep those in mind for a later time!!!
I think it's fine ideas for our own kids (my daughter would love the money umbrella!), but I would not do a "homemade" gift for a kid I barely know. I too would be afraid to embarrass my kids or look cheap.
I agree with Kristen as well. I know my kids, and most of their friends, would be thrilled with candy or money. Even now that they are teenageers and older, they still love these small gifts from their friends.
The posterboard with candy/story gift idea - that was my (tween) daughter's favorite gift this year! A few of her girlfriends got together and made a really cute poster like that and decorated her locker; she loved it.
If there's a Target near you, they usually interesting goods in their $1-3 bins.
If you or your child can sew, try "rice bags" - a wide tube of fabric stuffed with rice, which can be used as a cold pack (freezer) or a heat pack (microwave). My niblings love theirs. It's rudimentary sewing and you can adjust the fabric to suit the recipient.
There are also some discount/remainder stores such The Dollar Store, Five Below, and Tuesday Morning.
A nice wrapping job makes a small gift seem bigger.
If you sew, a special pillowcase is a unique gift. Get a print that is something the child is "into" or same as the party theme. Doesn't take much fabric and is easy straight seams. A book on the same theme (bought on sale of course!) makes a nice go-along.
I love this idea!
I don't have kids yet, so for me it's always gifts for holidays and family occasions, like Mother's Day or Father's Day. I've focused more on making heartfelt gifts, like baking them a treat they love (that's difficult to make or buy) or something sentimental like a nice framed picture.
For my nieces' and nephew's birthdays, I go for homemade gifts. I made my nephew a cute little fuzzy blue bunny last year, and I think this year I might sew him some new clothes, since he's growing like a weed. The girls love to play dress up and love costume jewelry, so those are my typical go-to's.
My rule has been, always, that gifts have to be either consumable (bubbles, crayons, art paper, play doh, all for littles, 3-4), a classic (the $15 lego sets now that my boys are in th 8-12 range, one of those screaming monkey slingshot things when they were more like 4-6, that Dr. Seuss book about the polka-dotted dog (I bought ten for 50 cents each and gave them as gifts for several years) and even a slip n slide once, lol) or cash for teenagers. I have never bought an actual gift for any kid over 15 and I won't. They are too specific by then.
When the children of friends get their first apartment I buy $100 in various gas, grocery and Target gift cards as their housewarming gift. Always a hit, easy to save for since I always know it is coming soon and I like to participate in their first steps out into independence. I'd like to give them a Dave Ramsey book about staying away from debt but none of our friends (NONE, how is this possible?) live like that and I won't make it seem like I am judging their parents. Nope!
My best gift EVER, though, was a mylar Winnie the Pooh balloon for my youngest when he turned two. It stayed aloft for about 2 months, cost a dollar and he was beside himself with joy when receiving it.
Your story about the balloon reminds me of what my mother says is the best gift I ever gave her. It was an empty box.
Seriously. See, things she really wants to keep track of, she puts "someplace special" then forgets where that place was. One year I had a stroke of genius. I took the largest box I could find (a waist-high mini-fridge box), wrapped it with the fanciest paper I could find, put a huge bow on in, and labeled it "Someplace Special." She absolutely adored it and kept it for the 10+ years till she moved.
I love that so much! The best gifts are the ones specific to who we are.
That's so sweet! My dad is super hard to buy for and once mentioned in passing that he didn't want anything for his birthday, just a hug and kiss. So I made 365 coupons that said "good for one hug and kiss" so he had a year's worth. I was probably ten or so at the time. He still has about half of them left in a bag on his dresser (I'm 28 now). When I was a teen he used to "redeem" them after we'd had a fight.
Ahhh! What a good dad!
Lovely! I like his timing.
Creatively packaged foods/candy. I always turn to pinterest for these...and they work really great for adult birthday parties too! (Turning 40, over-the-hill 50, etc etc).
https://www.pinterest.com/kellycupcake/creative-candy-food-gifts/
Otherwise... mason jar gifts. Always a hit:
https://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=mason%20jar%20gifts&rs=typed&0=mason%7Ctyped&1=jar%7Ctyped&2=gifts%7Ctyped
A set of colorful measuring cups and spoons (Target) plus a box of cake mix and the recipe for cake mix cookies and if you want, a bottle of sprinkles. This is good for ages 5-13.
Great idea! My daughter loves to cook so this would be right up her alley. I found a "frozen" themed waffle iron for $5.97 and I put that up for Christmas. I think that is the key here. Buy things at a deep discount that would work for several different ages/gender and put up in a gift closet. Ex. Sidewalk chalk, bubbles, Frisbees, games, and coloring books. Pie face game is great for all ages, gender neutral, and awesome when given with a can of whipped cream. I got a few on sale after Christmas so they are in my closet waiting for a special recipient. I have all girls so it seems we tend to be invited to girl's parties more often. After Christmas they put all the gift sets on sale and they make great little gifts. I will be keeping my eye out after summer for discounted beach toys and towels for birthday gifts. Last year at the end of summer, I got a bonzai sprinkler for $3 at Kohl's and will give it to my friend's daughter for her birthday next week. Usually beach themed Barbie stuff goes on sale after summer and you can get those for around $3 at my Kroger. Just find a little place to store stuff under the bed or in a closet and add to it as you can.
My daughters are 8 and 11. The most popular gift we give is a $10 gift card to our local ice cream parlor. This is our go-to. My girls will make a card and tape the gift card inside.
I never got invited to a birthday party as a kid after kindergarten but I would think small gift vouchers for ice cream or other such treats would be what I would go with. I'm sure you can get one for all of $5 and you know it won't be another discarded toy that sits at the bottom of the toy box.
I'm sorry you weren't invited - and this is why I am admantly FOR the policy of inviting all the kids or gender in a classroom. Without this rule, my son would have never been invited to a party.
I think from a religious perspective, it would be a great thing to explain to our kids about being inclusive at a party, because that's a faith based value. All children deserve to be included - it's possible to keep the costs very low and if a classmate has "issues" his/her parent can be asked to stay. Any parent would be happy to do so.
Not trying to stear a debate here, but why would being inclusive be " a faith base value"? That a little narrow minded. I'm not a religious person, never had any religious beliefs, yet I still think that including is the right thing to do. It's not a religious thing, it's a humanity thing.
You know, Isabelle, you are exactly right. Please accept my apology!
I have to agree with others -- first thing is to limit how many parties to attend. I realize a child may say that each and every birthday child is his or her dearest friend at any given time, but at some point, it has to be cut back to the ones we know are actually friends. My kids went to public school, and I had to draw a line when they were young, but as others said, this problem lessens as they get older.
And like others said, shop when you aren't shopping, by watching sales, close outs, yard sales, thrift stores.... new things can be found at thrift stores and even yard sales at times.
Gifts I gave that I know were liked: I gave a small, inexpensive piggy bank with five dollars worth of coins in it. I gave one child a nice little box that was a freebie with a purchase, and filled it with his favorite jelly beans. My kids took dance for years which left us with a lot of costumes and accessories; I picked out the nicest ones, boxed them up, and gave them as a gift to an ecstatic little girl. Mini-games are fun and usually inexpensive, like a small tin that holds a ball and jacks, an old-fashioned game that is brand-new to today's kids. My great-niece loved it. Office supplies -- an inexpensive ruler, tape dispenser, notepad, stapler, etc., boxed in a cheap tote box. I've also given inexpensive art supplies to any child who loved to draw and doodle.
I let the kids make a "To and From" tag from construction paper once they were old enough to write, and of course, reused boxes and bags. Buy giftwrap on sale to wrap reused boxes, either plain or in a generic design, in a bright color, and it will do for any child's birthday and avoids the use of lots of tissue paper that bags seems to require. Save ribbons from gifts you've received or buy spools of ribbon at the dollar store and make your own.
I usual plan to spend about 10$/gift.
I watch the sales and stock up when I see appropriate board games on a 50% sale at Toy's R Us (toys store). So the value is usually 20$ but paid 10$.
We don't go to a ton of parties, but I have solved the money and trying-to-pick-out-gift issue once and for all--every kid 8 and over gets a $10 gift card and some kind of candy from the checkout lane. It is always a huge hit-- and I never buy birthday cards for kids parties. My kids take a piece of colored paper and write "Happy Birthday (friend's name)! From, (my kid's name).
I buy $15 gift cards for a manicure for my tween daughter's friends. We've also bought used video games for my son's friends that we knew well and felt comfortable going that route. Around Christmas time, you can often find board games or card games at great prices. Those make a nice fun gift too.
The manicure gift card is a GREAT idea.
I have a $15 limit for parties we attend. I also feel free to say no to a party unless it's a close friend. My rule for parties I host is "No Gifts Please" on the invitation My children have plenty and I don't like the message that everyone *has* to bring a gift. The party is really about sharing the day with friends.
As a side comment, my daughter received an invitation saying something like : "The best gift is your presence. If however you want to gift me something I would be happy with a drawing of yours or a game you no longer play with". How cool! We were pleased to follow directions and went thrift shopping for a puzzle and a book (2$?), as we had nothing to part with.
Regarding classmate invites: At the beginning of the school year our teachers ask parents not to send birthday invites to class. Instead the teacher sends out an email asking parents if they'd like to be on a "Parent Contact" list. Any parent who does will provide their email address and then the list is given to all parents for the class. Birthday invites can now be sent by email (for free!) to the parents of your child's friend. This gets rid of the problem of "lost" paper invites and the cost of paper invites.
Most kids really only have between 1-3 close friends. We limit the number of kids invited to 6 total. Do not feel compelled to invite an entire class. This is not only ridiculous but puts undue pressure on parents to fund that nonsense. Not to mention the glut of presents a child receives sends the wrong message. The focus of any party should be the time spent with friends and family. Teaching moderation in all things is a valuable lesson.
We only accept invites to no more than five parties a school year. You are not obligated to accept every invite you receive, especially if you have more than one child. I scour discount toy shelves at the end of the summer and holiday season and opt for books, art supplies and Hot Wheel cars. Buying age appropriate gifts ahead of time cuts down on the last minute over-splurge we all tend to do when in a hurry.
Sadly, one common reason why schools require students to invite either fewer than half, or the whole class, is racism. There are sufficient documented examples of the one/few kids of a different race not being invited to parties, for schools to have implemented this policy. For this purpose, it doesn't matter if the invites go out within school or outside of it.
Never heard of any school "requiring" anything to do with private parties held off school grounds. They have zero jurisdiction on what you do in your private life. I think people are a little misinformed about what our rights are as individuals in this country.
Some schools do have a policies on handing out invitations at school. If you are not inviting the entire class or all the boys or all the girls they don't like you pass out invitations at school. It hurts kids feelings when they are left out. Of course you can have a party and invite who you want, but can't send the invitations to school.
My daughter, 9, and her friends are all very into crafts and making things so I hit up Joann's and Michaels. Their craft kits run from $4-25 each. Hit a 50% off or bogo sale which they have a couple times a year and we're stocked for the girls. My 5 year old son, on the other hand, is all vehicles and superheroes and building things as are his friends. I stock up on Lego kit sales and hit up thrift stores for matchbox cars for like a quarter each.
When my girls were younger, I would stock up on the after Christmas sales, gift sets, things like that. We would keep them in our "prize drawer" for when a party invite came.
So many great ideas! My three girls are grown now, but we did a LOT of bday parties in our day. One idea for tween girls is remnants and cool yarn from JoAnn. Have to know the kids but a lot of girls (and probably some boys) that age love to craft. We filled a string backpack with yarn and remnants for one very crafty girl and she was thrilled.
This might seem very strange but for awhile the girls "go-to" gift for their guy friends' birthdays was boxes of fun cereal like Cocoa Puffs or Honeycombs. We would buy a variety of boxes, tape them together, and wrap them with lots of bows. The gift looked huge and was always a hit.
The other thing I did for older kids/teens was to ask my girls to spend their own money on friend party gifts. They all got allowances and later had teen-type jobs (babysitting, store clerk, etc.) so they had their "own" money. It really helped them think twice about how much they were spending.
Hang in there; this too shall pass. They are young adults now and bring wine to their friends' parties now (LOL!)
I love Costco. I used to purchase Costco 2 Regal Movie vouchers for $16 and give them as gifts. Kids thought it was the coolest thing to get a movie ticket. My daugher would make a special birthday card for her friends, too. For my younger nephews, they love to eat Subway and a gift card that will cover a meal is the perfect gift.
Our rule for hosting parties was one child per age--so our three year old daughter invited three friends.
When we were kids we seldom had parties but my brother invited his whole 5th grade to a party at a roller rink which was great fun.
One of my favorite gifts was jigsaw puzzles. We'd set them up on the card table and my Dad and us three kids would randomly work on them for days.
I can fold paper money into rings or bows which makes giving cash more fun.
My go-to gift this year has been these penguin poppers. /www.amazon.com/Hog-Wild-Toys-Penguin-Popper/dp/B00770NADU
They work for elementary ages as well as tweens, boys as well as girls. They come in many varieties besides penguins and I have yet to meet a kid (or an adult!) who doesn't love them. I don't have to worry that I am duplicating toys as it's not something you find in ToysRUs. I get ours from a fun toy store in a neighboring town for around $10 but sometimes they have a BOGO sale and I stock up on them.
If you have a Five Below store in your area, it's a great place to find gifts for kids--they have games, craft kits, puzzles, stuffed animals ... and everything is $5 or below. For my son's middle school friends, I usually get a $10 gift card and a giant candy bar or bag of M&Ms.
I think party invitations must vary by area. My kids are in public schools, but there have only been a handful of "invite all the kids" parties--the ironic thing is that the parties seem to be hosted by the kids who struggle to have friendships. I think it would be painful to invite a whole classroom and only have a couple of kids show up, and I know that has happened on at least one occasion.
If you are throwing a party, a couple of ideas that (unexpectedly) worked well for us were to 1) let the kids decorate their own cake, and 2) to buy cheap t-shirts (I found ours at the dollar store) and fabric markers and let them decorate their shirts themselves or sign each other's shirts. We did the t-shirt idea as a party favor and I was shocked at how much they enjoyed it.
My daughter is three, so we only have about five birthday parties a year (our circle of close friends). We always make a handmade card and our usual gift is a book tailored to that specific child's interests. I have also given a year pass to a park that we have in town that cost $10.
Our best friends' kids and our kids are a few months apart in age, and are very close friends. A few birthdays back, we made a rule that we do not purchase gifts for one another's kids. We pass on gifts that we no longer use, or we make something. This year, my husband made superhero shields out of cardboard and elastic from old clothes. They were a huge hit. We've also given / received light up shoes, musical instruments, dolls, cars and more. It's a fun tradition that forces thoughtfulness.
We attended several 5 year old birthday parties this year and purchased a Lego set that was $15 with taxes, but is now even cheaper. We give this to boys and girls and since it's not a "set," you don't even have to worry about it being a duplicate. I think it's the best value Lego set:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00NHQFA5E/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8
We have been given several of that set and we love it!
Our local cake decorating store sells a $4 cake decorating tip set, $2 instructional book. I'll add a couple gel color tubes and it makes a great gift. For special close friends, add in some fun cupcake liners and the pre-made shelf-stable frosting tub.
Next door to the cake decorating store is a bead store for making your own jewelry. Gift card to go shop the bins is always a hit.
Legos and balsa wood airplane kits are also a hit.
Stocking up is a theme today and I have to day, I agree.
The main way to save money on birthday gifts is not to wait for the invite. I keep my eye out for under-ten-dollar steals year round and put them on the birthday shelf. Cards are always homemade.
If my daughter were older I'd also put aside some of the articles of clothes she receives for her birthday that aren't her style or are duplicates. Unfortunately she's one of the youngest in her class, so that stragety rarely pans out.
I also re-gift. I have inlaws that tend to go way overboard with gifts - so I usually let my kids select a few they really enjoy and the rest go into the gift closet to be given out for parties. Same thing for when we do host a large party - anything they don't love or is a duplicate - goes into the gift closet. I do try to return some, if I can figure out where it came from, and then I consider those gift cards part of the gift closet. For presents received from friends, I tend to note who gave it to us so I don't accidentally give it back!
We have homeschooled and also done private school for a couple of our kids. This next year, we will have four out of five in school. This last year, my kids just got invited to a few parties, and we were able to go to most of them. In either situation, most of the time, I will choose (or have my kid who has been invited do so) a gift out of my gift stash. Many of these items are new with tags that I bought at the thrift store! I have also found many new books there as well. If I have two or three items that work well as a theme (like a princess doll, book, accessory, etc), then I will do that, too. Since I sew and my kids enjoy crafts or drawing, we will sometimes include something handmade. These are special and one-of-a-kind and we love it when we receive handmade, too. While I try to keep things cost-effective each time we give a gift, I focus more on the recipient and what I know they love (Based upon our relationship with them). I may spend a little more time/money on a niece or nephew as well, because I don't see them as often when they live far away.
now, for a negative....because I have five kids, gifts can sometimes get overwhelming on our end. We tend to receive a lot of cheap dollar store items and coloring books/crayons. I guess if church people want to give all my kids a gift, they have to go that route....We teach our kids to be thankful and they like their gifts, but so many of those items get unused or fall apart in just a few minutes. My family and I are getting ready for a move, and I seriously don't know how many coloring books are in my stack to sell at a yard sale or give away. It's insane! Anyway, I personally would rather save money buying a clearance item that is better quality that the recipient will love, than casually just buying another coloring book because it is the easy thing to do. It's more than just saving money, as I said before. Hope this helps!
Our children are 8. 10, 12, 17, 21, and 27 . Birthday parties are a regular event around our house. I usually buy lovely gift bags for 20 cents a piece at the thrift store. We write on the enclosed hangtag and skip birthday cards. I keep a gift closet and keep a running inventory in my mind. When I run across good deals on Barbie and Nerf items , I stock up . ( The Nerf water guns after the summer clearance hits, is a great hit with the summer parties ) I also pick up Lip Smacker gift sets and other bubble bath type sets after Christmas at Walmart. I am a big fan of the annual clearance sale at Bath and Body Works. I just bought 7 sets of bath wash and lotion for 30.00. I picked up their candles for 2.50 . I buy poofy sponges at Dollar Tree and clear cellophane bags. If you tie it up with pretty ribbon its perfectly presented. I still buy for some of the children from our high school days . I never spend more than 10.00 for a gift and honestly most of mine are around 7.00. ( I also watch for new tissue paper and ribbon on clearance or at the thrift store). My best present was a box of white covered Oreos that someone gave me for Christmas. This person had remembered me saying I loved them. Thoughtful gifts don't have to be expensive.
We have four girls (8, 6, 3, & 1yr) and follow these "guidelines": 1) We typically only go to parties where we know he family or if it is a new friend who our girls are talking about all the time. 2) We spend $10 or less on a gift and I usually pick them up at Target, Michaels, TJ Max or Hobby Lobby when on sale. (Found some great color-yourself Dori purses and craft sets for older girls at Target clearance yesterday for approximately $6 each.) 3) For very close friends we like to make certificates for fun play dates (I.e. Go to a movie together or have a special sleep over.) In some cases it may actually cost more, but paying more for a special and fun experience is something we are ok with. 4) We don't purchase special gift wrap of any sort. We reuse bags that are still in good condition and if they are plain or if we use basic paper we will use stickers and markers to decorate. Most importantly, please do not feel guilty! It is amazing how political the 4-yr-old birthday party has become. It should not cause stress to celebrate our sweet babies and if we ever feel like we "have to" go big it is usually a red flag that we have lost sight of the real focus. We still struggle with this sometimes, but our kiddos have embraced the opportunity to get creative. Not to stray off topic too much, but we have even hosted several bday parties for our own girls where we asked people to bring canned food to donate in lieu of a gift (usually after a garages sale when we can't justify bringing more items home) Thw girls still receive gifts from family and close friends regardless and it takes some pressure off the acquaintance friends to bring toys that will get played with once. 🙂 There are so many creative and fun ways to celebrate!
Reading through these comments make me very grateful that the majority of parties we go to around here (Austin,TX) explicitly state no gifts. We are more likely to attend a no gift party rather than one where a gift is expected. Up until my son's 8th party (in a couple days), we've always done either no gifts, asking for $ or items for a charity, or book exchange. We're only allowing our 8 year old to accept gifts since he only invited 3 people. We honestly skip a lot of birthday parties and prefer to stick to ones of best friends. I just hate all the expectations with parties from the gifts for the kids and party favors for the guests. We did a book swap for our youngest kiddo's 6th party, and I heard multiple kids complain that there was no goody bag. I hate the gift for a gift mentality. I want to instill that birthdays are about being with the people you love doing fun stuff rather than about what you get.
I asked this question originally, and love all the replies! I also hate the gift-for-a-gift mentality of goody bags.
I did just find one of my daughter's favorite summertime toys on sale at Christmas Tree Shops for less than $5 (it's the Discovery Kids Balloon Pumper, it comes with a bunch of water balloons...) and I ordered 4 of them to stockpile for upcoming parties. They're great fun, and she has had hers for 2 years and it has held up really well...
I'm so glad that you got so much helpful advice. My readers are awesome.
When my girls were younger, I would hit the clearance racks after Christmas. I got bath sets, s,all toys, games ...... we kept them in the "prize closet". When a party invite arrived, they would go "shopping " for a gift to bring.