Some Monday Miscellany
Not gonna lie, I did a killer job of preparing for the last week's schedule craziness.
I menu-planned, I scheduled blog posts ahead of time, I did all my laundry and shopping and cleaning...and I did get through those six days very well.
But now I'm looking at the upcoming week with absolutely nothing planned or prepped. Ha.
So, for today we're going with some miscellany because that's all my tired brain can probably come up with.
I have discovered: I am really good with difficult patients
A large percentage of my hospitalized patients are easy to work with. But sometimes I get a patient who is rather...prickly.
(Which is understandable, especially because no one is at their best when they're in pain or they've been in the hospital for weeks!)
One school of thought is to approach someone like that with the same energy they're giving out; sort of a take-no-crap attitude, get the job done, and get in and out of the room as fast as possible. And I can see the efficiency of that.
I have found, though, that if I go in with a different energy than the patient has and spend a little time building rapport, I have a nearly 100% success rate at lowering the spiciness and that sets the tone for a day of cooperation between me and the patient.
Also, a little bit of extra kindness, like lotion on dry skin, an offer to bring some hot tea, or just some empathy goes such a long way, especially if this patient's behavior usually pushes people away.
Not only is this a kind way to treat a patient, it also usually results in an easier shift for me. I get my work done, I feel good, the patient feels good, and I'm not wasting time fighting an uphill battle.
Lotsa wins there.
I know this will not always work with every patient over the course of my career, but I feel really happy to know I have this skill in my tool belt.
It's one more of those things that makes nursing feel like a satisfying fit for me. I think I was built for this.
Is that a compliment or a roast?
On Halloween, a little trick-or-treater surveyed my yard and said, with all sincerity, "You have a lovely leaf pile here!"
Heh.
You too could achieve this look by avoiding yard work all semester. 😉
I'm not gonna lie, I do kind of like the way my yard looks covered in a leaf carpet. It's not like there's a carefully manicured lawn under there so the leaves actually look better than the patchy weeds/moss/ground they're covering.
This is definitely not the culprit who knocked a plant over
That's the face of innocence right there.
Chickpea, chickpea, chickpea, kidney?
I think the bean-packing plant made a little error.
Maybe I should make some cheese chips
One of my cousins told me about these; they're just baked cheese and are surprisingly high in protein. Definitely a better option than cheetos if you want a cheesy snack.
My frugal brain is telling me I should try some of the DIY options out there (you just bake shredded cheese, apparently?), but perhaps that should wait until school is over. 🙂
However, if you have a good method for these that you can recommend, I'm open.
Inspiration from plants
Often when I go for walks, I see plants or trees that are growing despite improbable odds. For instance, on my water-side trail, there's a sorta dilapidated railing that has all sorts of little plants and grasses that grow out of it.
Plants amaze me with their ability to grow where they land.
And I always think that is a metaphor for life...that even if you land in a spot that is not ideal, you might still be able to grow into something beautiful. 🙂
I also sometimes see trees that have nearly fallen, then adjusted and grown upward anyway.
And I really like that as a metaphor for life; that you can get a hard knock, make the best of your new circumstances, and grow up toward the sun.
Got some miscellany to share? Feel free to join me in the comments!
(Or of course, if you wanna chat about anything I shared, that's fair game too.)
What a delightful post, Kristen.
It made me so happy to read your final line about nursing "I think I was built for this." It must feel so rewarding to know you are in the right place with your career. It does seem like a perfect fit and you are literally changing people's lives.
Love the leaf carpet. It's gorgeous. Sometimes you just have to embrace what nature sends your way, and you've been gifted a very beautiful landscaping addition (that most people would be groaning over).
Yard: small yard here, but many trees in our neighbourhood so ample leaves. I raked dry leaves for the borders, to protect my plants from the frost, and put some in bags to try and compost them (Punch holes in the bags, apparently. Then wait for spring). The remainder of the leaves alas will go to our council compost pile, as we do not want slippery leaves in the dark months.
Plogging: I went plogging (Pick up garbage while jogging/walking/skating) for the first time with swim buddies and it was fun. One buddy with bad hips ensured there was hot tea and coffea after the session. Council provided griping sticks (???) and other equipment. Will do this on a non-frequent but regular basis.
Weather: had a cold and humid week last week, but today the sun is shining. This means it ia laundry day.
@JNL, Plogging! What a great term! My circle calls it a Pick- Up Walk/Run.
@JNL, I'd have to call it "palking" in my case since I don't jog, but I like the concept. I try to pick up some trash, as well as all NY State deposit bottles and cans I find, on my morning walks.
@JNL, griping sticks sounds like a great tool while plogging. I haven’t been able to pick up trash while walking since we got a puppy, he seems to believe everything on the ground belongs to him. So I will definitely try a griping stick.
Lovely nature photos- and that is a gorgeous carpet of leaves. Maybe it'll snow so you don't need to rake them up?
And Chiquita has my support- that angel cannot be guilty!
I love your win-win approach to difficult patients. You are making the world a better place.
I love the plants growing in surprising places and your philosophical take. When I walk in our suburb I find it amazing the things that grow in the street near the curb. I also love the ways that trees survive and grow in such interesting shapes.
You ARE made for this, Kristen! And you are so correct; difficult patients are often difficult for a reason (scared, lonely, in pain, depressed, etc). You are their ray of sunshine !
School programs like yours are a whirlwind. No amount of preplanning and prep will make every week easy
(Especially since you are working shifts as well)
Just keep doing your best, take one week at a time, and keep thinking about the end of the semester!
Our lawn would never be leaf-less if it were not for the husband and his love of his *toys*, I don't see the need to remove them.. the grass need a little blanket! lol
Your *Kill them with kindness* approach is a great one and I use a very similar one to parents who are particularly prickly where I work.. which always makes me laugh since THEY are the one who enrolled their children in our private preschool.. Your choice mama, why bring cranky and attitude with you toward us? I love to push and figure out what is going on.. (gotta use that college degree I paid for!) lol
@jes, My mom always taught me the same thing, "Kill them with kindness." I found it difficult to use this approach because nasty people always scared me, but over the years, I discovered this particular tactic works almost 100% of the time. I've noticed it even works on me when I'm in a mood and someone chooses to be especially kind to me. Maybe we need to start a movement, right now, the whole country could benefit from choosing this perspective.
Yes; it's so smart to consider what is going on underneath that's causing the prickly attitude!
@Kristen, I'll admit I'd fall under prickly. What is guaranteed to set me off is telling me "you *have* to do it". No I don't *have* to do anything - I make my own medical decisions. A better approach (at least with me) is you need to do . What makes me down right irate is expecting me to just blindly agree to a test with no explanation as to why said test is needed. Doctor says doesn't cut it - doctor needs to get his/her posterior in the room and talk to (not at, not to my husband) me.
Off soapbox but what causes me to have the prickles.
I think an explanation of the rationale is so helpful, even for small things. I always check to see if a patient knows WHY I'm suggesting they use the incentive spirometer (better lung expansion while bedridden, which helps prevent pneumonia), or WHY we want to brush their teeth (to prevent pneumonia), or WHY we want to put on some sequential compression devices (prevention of blood clots).
Understanding the "why" helps to increase compliance too, because then the patient is more intrinsically motivated to keep up the treatment/behavior.
@jes, I find that often when someone answers me with kindness - especially when I don't feel kind right then - I really reevaluate my stance. I'm sad to say that I'm not good at that myself. Someone being prickly at me usually gets prickles back, or at best a "why be prickly at me, I haven't done anything to deserve it." I'm working on that but progress is slow, so slow. It takes a lot of work to learn to overcome one's first instinct or impulse.
I like your perspective on dealing with difficult patients!
There are signs up all over my neighborhood that say, “Leave Your Leaves!” Here’s a link explaining why: https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2022/10/17/fall-leave-leaves
Apparently you are saving the planet by not raking! My suggestion is to get one of those signs, plunk it down in your yard, and let it go. You’re not lazy, you’re an eco-warrior.
I have made the shredded cheese crisps before and the recipe was just make little circles of shredded cheese on parchment paper and bake till crisp. However! They need to be eaten on the first day as they do not remain crisp. Maybe there is a trick for overcoming this, but I don’t know it.
I was wondering about that because I sometimes use the packaged cheese crisps as a portable snack at work or school, so I'd need them to stay crispy for an extended period of time if I was gonna make them at home.
@Kristen, Maybe check the ingredient disclosure on the packaged cheese crisps to find out what Frankenstein-ish chemical additives they use to make them. There's gotta be something more than cheese (or "cheese-adjacent stuff") lurking in there...
Nope! They're just cheese. That's it!
@JDinNM, My guess is they put a dessicant package in the bag--I often see these in vitamin bottles, or bags of storebought dried kale chips (yes, I tried them, once they were good!). Maybe saving a dessicant package from something else and repurposing it would work.
No dessicant package in my Aldi version at least. But I will say, the cheese seems not just baked but also puffed, so they probably have some fancier way of making these that we can't replicate at home exactly.
@Kristen - And you can them on Amazon for a mere $7.50! Per OUNCE!
@JDinNM, That must be "some fancier way of making these", for sure.
Love how you can take a negative and make it positive. Just amazes me that your brain is geared that way. I've always been a half empty kinda gal, but not as totally empty as some people I have met over my lifetime. I do tend to distance myself from them now as I don't want to be negative like them; it gets tiring! I really have never met anyone like you where your glass is always half full and then you can fill it. That is just great. This will get you thru life and maybe will rub off on more people.
And my innocent little Kitty Kitty has never dumped my plant every weekend for the past 3 weeks! I finally am buying a flat bottom and side ceramic planter that hopefully he can't spill. I really like this plant, and I thought I moved it to a good spot, but he found it and dumped it again. So I'm hoping it's because it is in a plastic pot with a rounded bottom and the ceramic planter will do it's job. At least he hasn't disturbed by blooming Christmas cacti!!!
Good luck to your planter! Ha.
And just for full disclosure, I do definitely have my moments of sadness, especially in the holiday season where there are reminders everywhere that my life has not gone according to plan. Yesterday I had one of those times, so I cried about it and texted a couple of divorced friends to chat about it (they all understand!)
But I guess the good thing is that I don't usually get stuck in that mode; I know how to process the sadness and deal with it when it comes up, and then I can take a deep breath and move on along. It would be much worse if I got stuck in a persistent loop of negativity. That would be exhausting!
@Kristen, your approach sounds so grounded and healthy. You have a plan that works: Feel the sadness, share it with an undertanding someone who loves you, and move along.
@Central Calif. Artist Jana,
My BFF taught me that.....feel what you feel, sit with it a bit....then let it go. (Not to quote the song from Frozen, lol!). It's helped me a lot.
@Kristen,
Being single and the sole survivor of my family, I too have Christmas blues. But something my grandmother once said got me to dealing with it. She was born in the late 19th century, and when describing the old-fashioned Christmases of yore, she told me they didn't put up the tree until the day before Christmas Eve. Of course, Christmas tree lots were not a thing back then, so her father would go and chop down a tree the weekend before, or weekend of, Dec. 23. They decorated the tree either Dec. 23 or the morning of the 24th, I forget which. The packages were opened on Christmas Eve. They had candles on the tree and a bachelor uncle was tasked with spotting and putting out blazes. The candles would drip on the limbs and the resin would catch on fire and the uncle had a stick with a large wet rag. He used that to snuff out the fire. Very, very dangerous! He didn't look at the gifts or open his presents until another man could take over this task. Church and Christmas dinner was on the 25th; they were Protestant so no midnight mass.
Anyway, the thing is: Christmas was not a whole season. You didn't start celebrating in November. (Although you might start making your handmade and homemade gifts in July. There weren't that many of them.) You didn't prolong the holiday or have over-the-top decorations and customs. You didn't have huge expectations about this cozy family gathering where it's all sweetness and light and no fussing and no problems. Grandma thought the way we do Christmas these days is unrealistic.
This weekend, one of our local radio stations started playing Christmas music. It's only Veteran's Day weekend. How ridiculous! I purposely reset the button on my car radio so I won't pick up this station.
In recent years, I joined an Episcopal church and I love the fact they don't start doing Christmas until the first Sunday in Advent. Which is always in December. They hold off decorating until almost the last minute.
I don't prolong Christmas and I keep to a religious Christmas, sans Santa Claus. (If I had children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews, I might have been forced to do the secular stuff, but I don't.) Most years, I've played my favorite (non-holiday) songs on my tape or CD player in the car and I am absoulutely suffering that my current car has neither of these. But hearing the Beach Boys or the Beatles rocking it keeps me from being overly depressed. At home, I watch non-holiday movies that I love or I will read books. If I feel like putting up the tree and the decorations, I will; but for the past dozen years I haven't bothered. I work at my job and don't try to party hearty. I do things for others like Toys for Tots or Gifts for Grannies; Angel Tree Ministries or the food bank; just because it lifts my spirits to help others. On Dec. 18th or 20th or so, then I will start my Christmas-ing, but before that, I just stick to regular stuff that makes me happy and not think about all that I've lost. If I'm lucky, I go out to eat with friends or stop by a singles' holiday party. Otherwise, I curl up with a good book.
Don't know if this will help you or anyone else, but it's what I've found that helps.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I have a similar approach. The secularization and endless season is so tiresome. I have one box of decorations and might take 15 minutes to put them up on the weekend after Thanksgiving.
@Fru-gal Lisa, I really struggle with Christmas stuff in November! That plus the commercialization of the entire holiday leaves me feeling like it dampens the Christmas joy
@Fru-gal Lisa, Good for you. I am a church member (Congregationalist/United Church of Christ), and we observe Christmas beginning with Advent, four weeks before the 25th, period. My Scandinavian family put up the tree Christmas Eve, and had a big dinner on Christmas Day and on New Year's Day. Period. All the commercialized celebrations beginning on Nov. 1 are way too much for me; I'm sick of the canned music and junky "gifts" and cheesy decorations even before Thanksgiving. And, if you need any more reinforcement, even the biggest day of the church year--Easter--is preceded by quiet anticipation, not crazy spending excess. Maybe I've gotten more opinionated as I age, but I really enjoy a quieter celebration of the light in the winter, the warmth of a fire, and a warm sweater.
I am not surprised you have a gift with difficult patients. We've seen it here for years as you respond to sometimes contentious comments. 🙂 Blessed are the peacemakers, indeed.
I do miss the sight of the autumn leaves on the trees, but I don't miss all the raking in the fall at our giant house with its giant trees and lawns in New York. We could never just leave them on the grass because there were so many and it was so wet, they wouldn't break down, just suffocate the grass.
You've never heard the phrase, "Bloom where you're planted"? That's what I was thinking when I saw that cool railing with the plants in it.
And my own miscellany: We had as a guest last night at dinner a lady who was born in New Mexico, grew up in a small town in Chile, moved to California, and works in the wine industry. Such a fascinating life, with so many twists and turns. People are so endlessly interesting once you start to talk to them.
@kristin @ going country, I agree that people are exceedingly interesting. No two lives are the same. Everyone has different talents, knowledge, and ability. They have lived different places and done different things. Some have overcome adversity and have a wealth of experience handling difficult situations. I have found that even people who appear to have lived “ordinary lives” are truly exceptional. This commentariat is an example of just that!
@kristin @ going country,
My hubby and I met the cousin of a friend at a funeral (the friend's mother had passed away). This cousin turned out to be a retired history professor, and is currently doing research for a book on (if I remember correctly) Lyndon Johnson. He had such great stories to tell, and hubby and I were hanging on his every word! We are such history nerds. His long-suffering wife - who, I imagine, goes through this everywhere they go - was polite, and just let him talk. 🙂
I love having big shade trees, but yikes, the amount of leaves can be staggering. My parents were visiting this weekend and helped get them all into the woods. I am so thankful for their help!
I would recommend keeping a brief record of some of these difficult patient interactions, because when annual reviews come around, they will be asking for examples of things like this and it can be hard to remember on the spot! So many times, empathy, kindness, and a listening ear really deflate the anger out of a situation. Good job!
My kindergartner is home yet again with an awful cough. I am trying to pull out all my nurse tricks to calm down her irritated airway. It’s been a tough fall for her.
@JP, You are right. In one of my previous lives as a newspaper reporter, people would come into the paper to yell at someone, sometimes me. At first I just quaked but I learned that attentive listening would often calm them down; people get upset by all kinds of things, big and little, and we were sitting ducks. When they got to yell about it, or scold, or whatever, they felt better, and could behave better. We would thank them very much, and publish corrections if they were needed. My editor at the time said we did a good job as long as we got complaints from all sides, which sounds funny now, but what he meant was that sometimes a true, carefully written and checked story will make people mad, and they react quicker than they think about it. Some came back to apologize and tell us that they were mad to see the truth in print, and when they calmed down they could manage much better. Not a medical situation, but we can learn so much from each other if we do listen better even when it's uncomfortable.
Happy Veterans Day! Thank you to the Veterans and their families here.
The fallen leaves are pretty and good for pollinators. But, living in South Florida, this is something we don't have to deal with.
That's a great attitude regarding the difficult patients.
My Misc. - I decided to just chill yesterday and read an older fiction book, Her Perfect Life by Vicki Heinz. It's so well written, I recommend it if you can find a copy.
@Sandy Beach,
In the northern part of the state, we have more hardwoods. The maritime forest on the barrier islands have oaks, sweet gums, and swamp maples. Of course like our southern neighbors, we have to deal with palm fronds.
@Sandy Beach, our library doesn't have it, but I read the description on GoodReads and would enjoy it. Published in 2006 actually sounds newish to me. 😎 Fiction is a great escape, but I choose to read it with discipline because it makes my mind go weak and lazy, and all I want to do is escape. It is similar to how eating too much junk affects my body.
I often get "inspiration from plants," but two trees within my daily view are outstanding: a spruce in the Bestest Neighbors' front yard, and a maple tree in the front yard of the neighbors next to the BNs. Both these trees were badly damaged in our infamous Labor Day storm of 1998 (a derecho that knocked out our power for three days, took out countless trees, and did other major mischief). The spruce had about fifteen feet of its top snapped off, and the maple lost about a quarter of its branches. And both have made amazing recoveries: The spruce actually grew *two* new heads close together, and the maple has filled in the missing branches nicely. Hail to thee, noble trees!
My husband recently had to start a gluten-free diet and he loves those crunchy cheese crisps. Aldi has such a nice and pretty affordable selection of GF food and some keto foods that also are gluten free.
Your leafy lawn is quite lovely. Between the drought and house construction, I seeded the back yard with clover in hopes of having some green again. So far it's coming up nicely.
@Ruby, I went to an estate auction years ago, and the entire backyard was covered in mint. It was extremely green and smelled divine. I’m sure this wasn’t on purpose but it was wonderful just the same.
They are really good! I tried the Parmesan ones as well, but preferred the Cheddar ones. The Parmesan variety was just a little more bitter, I thought.
@Kristen, I think it would be nutritionally dangerous for me to have something that good in my house because I wouldn't be able to find the off switch! But on the other hand, for once it wouldn't be sweets that were luring me onto the rocks. . .
Haha, that is me if I buy Thin Mints.
I'm better handling myself with savory stuff!
@Kristen, Thin Mints are lethal. They should require some sort of a permit, warnings, and automatic locks.
I seriously lose my head when they are around!
@Central Calif. Artist Jana, Not sure if you have tried storing them in the freezer but if not give it a whirl. That is my absolute favorite way to enjoy Thin Mints.
@Bee, yeah, mint will take over a piece of land, but I figure why not, as it's green, smells gorgeous, needs no care, and bees love it.
I tried for years to talk DH into a clover lawn and he's finally on board for it as no grass has been able to survive the climate swings of the past few years.
@Angie, I've tried to "hide" them from myself in the freezer and like them even more that way. Just lethal.
Your photos remind me of the old saying "Bloom where you are planted!" I seriously busted out laughing at the kidney bean. Have a great week being the light you are in this world!
You are doing the ecosystem a favor by "leaving the leaves"! https://chatham.ces.ncsu.edu/2021/11/leave-the-leaves-2/
First, the leaves. That is literally the most environmentally friendly ground cover that there is. Hands down, it wins. Later, if it gets a bit mushy or doesn't look so good anymore, by all means, rake it up, but use it to mulch your plants and leave as much as you can where it is. Looks beautiful.
@Caro,
My yard features live oaks, which don't lose their leaves until spring. All my spring breaks are spent dealing with same. You can spend all day raking them up and bagging them and the next morning it looks like you didn't do a thing. I joke that if I had a penny for every dozen leaves that fall, I'd be a billionaire. These leaves don't decompose into compost or mulch and I've had several inches smother my lawn. One year I was sick and couldn't get to them or hire anyone. I no longer have grass in the front yard and it looks terrible. I had English ivy as a ground cover. It used to be thick and hearty and beautiful but it too has died.
When I was younger, I worked with a woman who was nearing retirement. She could stay calm no matter the circumstance or the level of rudeness. One day when I was absolutely exasperated, she gave me some advice. When people are unkind and rude, it’s about them not about you. Don’t take personally. I imagine that this is true ten-fold when someone is in the hospital. Loneliness, fear, and pain are powerful feelings. The fact that you approach with compassion will make you an exceptional nurse.
In another note, I believe nature is filled with metaphors for life. Bloom where you are planted is among my favorite. When I garden, I always leave or re-pot the volunteers. There is something to be said for the plant that finds the perfect spot for themselves without any help from me.
Good luck this week. We are cheering you on.
100% agreed on the many reasons for people being rude. I see people feeling a loss of control pretty often, which makes lots of sense. You didn't pick this illness, you didn't pick the timing, you didn't pick what room you got or who your doctor was or how long you stay...so you might flat out refuse to brush your teeth because dang it, that's one thing you CAN control!
Your acquired wisdom for dealing with challenging patients will serve you well in your nursing career. I don't find it to be more efficient to follow the fast in-and-out approach--it tends to lead to the patient getting more prickly, because they feel like they aren't being heard. I don't claim 100% success with my patients--far from it--but taking the time to listen, validate, and using some gentle humor goes a long way.
I'm amazed you can have as many plants as you do, with two cats in the home. Our plants are located in very high places. Those cats get into everything!
Yes! That small investment of time usually pays you back in time saved later on. It's kinder AND faster!
@Kristen, I went to a course years ago which was about managing difficult patients. One thing was said stuck out in my brain, and I use it to this day. "The slower you go, the faster you get there". The course was aimed at dealing with developmentally disabled adults, but I have found it to be true with all of my patients. I also found it helpful when my children were small--the more I felt pressured and rushed and tried to push them, the more they dug in their heels and resisted. Slow and steady wins the race. 🙂
@Kris, my sainted mother's version of what you describe was "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."
Regarding the cheese crisps, I make mine adding some panko bread crumbs for some heft. Maybe a 3- 1 ratio of cheese to panko. Use non stick spray on foil, they can be peeled off easily. Bake for 10 minutes or so in a 350 oven. As far as how to keep them fresh for a second day, they never lasted that long. I've used them as an appetizer or as a side with soup.
Hello! I couldn’t agree with you more regarding your method for handling difficult patients- I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist ( recently retired) and I worked in a psych hospital for a few years . I was called in to encourage a patient to sign some releases for discharge. She was very “ prickly” as well and with a bit of extra time, kindness and remaining calm and neutral, I was able to get what we needed to get appropriate aftercare for her. People who are hospitalized can feel very powerless in addition to feeling physically unwell and this can result in cranky behavior. After that I was often called to various units to spend time with uncooperative patients ! So happy you are feeling like nursing is a good fit Kristen!
I have nothing profound to add, but I notice that your tea is Yama Moto Yama! It's my favourite brand of green tea. I find that since I've started buying really great tea, I no longer really want to buy it out. Why would I? What I have at home is so good. Those little pleasures--buying the nice tea and the like--pay so much more than they cost.
The photos of the endurance plants growing out of the fence are great inspiration!
I also love that leaf pile! And, so happy for you that you are excited about the career you are pursuing!
A few positive things on my side:
-Reached out to an old friend last week, and we ended up setting up time for a long phone chat, and planned an impromptu trip together (I moved for work) this weekend. I haven't seen her in almost 10 years. So, so looking forward to catching up & celebrating some awesome news from her.
-It's raining here. While I don't love the rain, we need it!
Kristen, just responding to your interesting miscellany today. Fun post, great photos.
Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath. . ." guessing you've had a lot of practice with this one.
The leaf carpet is truly lovely (coming from someone who loves yardwork and lets her only lawn grow unmowed all summer because she prefers the look)
Cheetos are my favorite fake food. I bet that making your own cheese chips would be a major grease mess and use a ton of cheese.
It is a perpetual mystery as to how little plants can pop up in odd places and thrive when solidly healthy nursery plants carefully placed in my yard just croak for no reason.
It’s been a rough year this year for me. This weekend we bought be a new car. I’m so excited. My old car was 15 years old. I also got to go to Disney's California Adventure, unexpectedly. My niece works there and offered for sign us in bc the park opened up some reservations last minute. It felt like my birthday and it was so so nice! I haven’t felt that happy and joyful in a long while. I know both of those things are very over the top and I kind of feel like the weekend was a dream that I don’t deserve! But I’m so so grateful.
Yay for a lovely weekend full of good things!
Kristen, I love reading your posts. I've been a follower for many many years, and like you I try to take a positive outlook on life. We've both gotten some rather large knocks in life, but choosing to find some good has helped dramatically. I have friends say to me all the time "I don't see how you do it" after bad things happen. But like those plants I prefer to take the outlook of "What happened was out of my control, but I can thrive where I landed." Maybe I'm just feeling philosophical today, but when you truly look at how much of your life is out of your control, and free yourself from fighting the uphill battle, it becomes a lot easier to grow where you're planted. I cannot always change the trajectory of my life, but I can change my outlook. I let myself have a good cry and have my feelings, then I take a deep breath and find something good.
It is a joyful thing to see how you are thriving in your nursing career, Kristen!
My yard too completely covered with a carpet of leaves, and I believe it is because there has been absolutely zero wind since the leaves started falling. They usually get blown into drifts, but this year leaves lay where they fall.
Who could possibly get mad at such a sweet feline face...
Grow where you are planted is a great metaphor for life. It's also good to know that tiny roots get into very small, tight places and they just keep growing, which sometimes results in splitting boulders or in this case, trees.
Yes, the leaves are so evenly distributed this year!
I just adore your miscellany posts! I laughed most of the way through this one and I cannot think of a better way to start a Monday.
I can chime in with you that when the schedule is tight I love to have a plan, a menu, and a map. Last week I had all of those things and this week I too have none of those things. Past me would have been riddled with anxiety over this conundrum but present day Angie knows that this too shall pass and I can give myself a bit of grace.
You are going to be such a great nurse. Your talk of the way you approach your patients reminds me of my most favorite nurse ever who took care of me after the birth of my son. She was an angel walking in human skin in every way she possibly could be. She gave me so much encouragement and love during those 4 days than I have experienced in years of relationship with some family members. As a woman of faith, I have always believed that she was sent to me on purpose and for a purpose. You will be that same kind of nurse and I am excited to hear all the stories that you will tell us as you walk this road.
I have to say I love a manicured lawn but I LOVE your yard of leaves. It feels wispy and windblown and wild and I just love that element of fall. Plus rotting leaves are very good for nourishing your soil as they decompose so there is that gardening silver lining.
And always Chiquita. Those of us pet parents know 'the face of innocence' quite well. My Boxer girl Lacie Rose had this same face when she went into my purse, pulled out my wallet and redesigned it for me while I worked last week. I can say that her design does make the contents more accessible but if anyone knows where wallets are on sale do tell.
Awww, I love love love to hear stories like that about your nurse because it reminds me that my interactions with patients do have an impact. I'm so happy you had a good experience!
Love the plants who beat the odds! Also? Google the health benefits of cultivating awe.
I love your miscellany posts! You are so clearly in the right profession. As someone who has been a patient a lot in the last 18 months, I can attest to not always being my most-lovable self in every interaction. I have been so thankful for medical professionals who are willing to give me grace. An ounce of empathy usually restores the peace. I think I particularly appreciate it because in so many other areas of my life I have to be the one responsible for emotional regulation. It is a huge relief when someone else takes that difficult, but often invisible, role.
Yes, yes to the regulation. I'm usually gonna be more resourced than the sick patient so it's on me to be the regulator!
@Amanda in VA, "emotional regulation" is a very apt term. I've heard it said that moms/wives "set the temperature" for a household. Same thing. Of course, it only takes one cranky-pants to make things unhappy for everyone—seems as if the downward pull of gravity often wins.
Clark joins Chiquita in the Not Naughty Kitten Club, as he definitely did NOT push my phone off my nightstand, causing it to land in such a way that broke the part of the cord that plugs into the phone. Nope. And he definitely didn't do it out of spite when he found I put my nightly water in a covered cup so he couldn't drink it or stick his paw in it.
My miscellany is that I got to do a life interview with a dear friend of mine--for our intro to healthcare class we needed to interview somebody 65 or older. She was very gracious to spare time for me! I've known this friend since we were in grad school together 30 years ago, and we lost touch when I left that school, but years later she found my book of poetry on Amazon and tracked me down! Doing this interview, I learned so much about her I didn't know...it made me think about how little we often ask about others, and it opened my eyes to my own self-centeredness.
I love it when school assignments turn out to be so meaningful!
I have to say that the fact that (nurse) you offers to get patients hot tea, put lotion on them us beyond any nurses I have had in my lifetime. It's usually only can I get you water or 7up (soda) & never touch patient for non medical reasons, except maybe to adjust pillow or add another blanket.
On a separate note---Kristen or anyone else---do you know if non life threatening surgeries are still being postponed because of lack of IV fluid bags (largest manufacturer was in North Carolina & was destroyed/damaged)? There are 2 other smaller manufacturers in USA that also make IV bags, but had not heard if was going to be able to start making more/additional due to North Carolina plant being done. I've heard mixed communication on hospitals as far as surgery regarding this. Some have postponed surgeries & not given any kind of information on possibly when in future while others have had no changes in surgical procedures. And it's on various states I've heard from.
There is a saying that I don't recall exactly word for word but summarized it says that plants would live anywhere if it was not for man. Other countries (than USA) (Finland maybe?) have done studies of this & confirmed it to be true. If mankind let nature go untouched plants grow anywhere & ultimately take over, growing over vertical areas & metal/cement.
Leaves..... there is always controversy about what to do. I see both sides & do what's best for me (which is actually a combination of both sides). HOA & local regulations also play a role in leaves. Do you have to do leaf clean up or be fined? If yes-- Does your city have free leaf pick up (where if you get leaves to curb/in brown paper leaf bags city workers pick up & take to compost free--as part of your city taxes)? If yes, maybe you can call local school & see if have group (FFA, high school group of volunteers, kids who need community service hours to be fulfilled) that is available/sign up to do (free or donation). Our city has free leaf pick up during certain day/timeline. Our local FFA has scheduled days/time available (by scheduling) to come & do leaves by raking/blowing to curbside (for donations), also certain high school groups & high school graduation requirements have to fulfill so many hours of volunteer work. An friend of mine church does leaf removal (preplanned). OR hire a local kid(s) or lawn company if just don't have time & needs to be done. Otherwise, leaving leaves as fertilizer & winter bedding is an option. But, you will need to do leaf clean up in spring. 😉
Personally I like to clean up most of leaves (some do stay in flower beds because I didn't cut back flowers & you can never get 100% of all leaves) only because otherwise the leaves do blow around in winter & get mixed in with snow/ice & not very good for snow blower.
We do have a fluid shortage at my hospital (lots of hospitals do right now) so conservation measures are in place. I don't know what the surgical situation is for sure at my hospital, but on my floor, nurses are asked to carefully consider whether a patient could manage oral hydration, and nurses are not routinely running maintenance fluids with things like IV antibiotics.
The variance between hospitals is because not every hospital uses the same supplier. Everyone is pressed for fluids right now, but some hospitals are much worse off than others.
I meant to also say: I currently work as a patient care tech, not a nurse. So I am probably more down and dirty with patient care right now than I will be as a nurse. Techs are the ones who get you drinks and snacks and take care of other lower-level tasks like that.
As long as the patient is ok with it, I do try to incorporate touch into my care; it's with a gloved hand, but I will offer a hand to squeeze or a pat on the shoulder.
And of course there is touch incorporated with the cleaning-up tasks I do (CHG wipes, catheter care, patient changing, patient ambulation).
@Kristen, You're still doing way more than the patient care techs did when my son was hospitalized. Once we asked a tech if we could get some more towels for the bathroom (necessary for some cleaning up), and she said no, that she couldn't. We asked a nurse and she did.
Touch is a major way of communicating care to your patients! So many patients are just made to feel like an illness or a condition.
That is so weird. I get towels/sheets/warm blankets/washcloths, etc for my patients ALL THE TIME and I know my fellow techs do too.
I love your metaphors.
I think that leaf-covered yards look beautiful - yours sure does! We rake ours and put them all in our garden. It has helped make my soil fantastic! Some years we till them into the soil in the spring, some years I just make rows in amongst the leaves and use the leaves to help keep the weeds down.
We got some rain yesterday that brought down a fresh batch of leaves, but many of the trees that line our street still have plenty of leaves to go.
Quick cheese chips: line microwave tray with parchment paper. Cut one cheese stick into 10 slices and stand them on end in a circle. Microwave one minute. Store in an air tight container.
I work in trauma icu, if the patient is able to talk, I always ask what comfort means to them. Is it a smell? A special treat/meal/food? At my hospital, we use essential oils for relief of nausea and breathing relief. If a patient is having a difficult time, as a team we spend extra time with them. We have volunteers who perform harp music at the patient's door, will read to them, play wordle, work a crossword puzzle and set up movies from the vast dvd library.
Chick pea/garbanzos are one of my favorite snacks. I cook a pound in the instapot, remove the skins, toss with olive oil, sprinkle with your favorite seasoning (ranch, bbq rub, taco seasoning) spread out on parchment lined cookie sheet and bake at 400F check every 10 minutes. Usually takes 25 minutes on convection roast.
For moon cheese, I shred gouda, pepper jack or sharp cheddar, put it in the dehydrator for 12-30 hours @ 130F. The drier the cheese to start, the quicker the process.
It stays crispy for 2 weeks...it never lasts that long in our home!
My walking paths by my perennial beds are all planted in corsican mint. Divine!
Thank you to all the veterans and their supportive and loving families. We are having a town chili cook off today and Quilts of Valor presentation. I made 4 batches of corn muffins and 4 apple slab pies and 2 cherry pies.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl, I am impressed that your hospital looks to comfort trauma patients in non traditional ways. When my BIL was dying many years ago from leukemia brought on by exposure to agent orange, they had a cellist who was played in the evenings. It calmed both the patients and their families.
Keeping despair from setting in, must be beneficial for the healing process. When my daughter spent 10 days in the hospital when she was 8. She looked forward to the daily visit from the therapy dog and her pediatrician. This gave her something to look forward to and keep her spirits up.
@Bee, and @ Blue Gate Farmgirl,
I, too, am impressed with your hospital's efforts to make things to help your patients relax/destress. The ICU that I cover has some sort of "aroma-tabs" that they use from time to time to help calm patients - I know at least one scent is lavender. We also have volunteers who bring in their therapy dogs, which is always a treat for patients and staff alike. Finally, we have volunteers who are trained in Healing Touch who are available for patients who want it.
Also, maybe a dumb question: is Corsican mint invasive, like other types of mint?
I like your strategy with difficult patients! My mother is often one of those. When she is with a nurse that she likes and respects, everything goes so much more smoothly.
An old quote I read once "bloom where you are planted".
Your comment about the plants reminds me of the semi-autobiographical novel A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
Oh yes, I read that many years ago!
It would be my opinion that the Halloween Trick or Treater was really liking your leaves! I did! Looks like a great fairytale! What a fun place to play in the leaves !!!!!!
Love your thoughts on the railing and the semi-fallen tree!
I have made cheese crisps before, both on the stove and in the oven. Pros and cons to each but I prefer the oven. Google some recipes and see what you like. I prefer Parmesan crisps but cheddar is great too. They are wonderful on salads and soups.
Reading your post today, the phrase "bloom where you are planted" kept coming to mind. In your nursing studies/practice, you are blooming where you are planted by using your gift of kindness and consideration to connect with the "prickly" patients. That approach will take you far in your career. Throughout your posts over the years, I've noticed that you always work to bloom where you are planted, even if the spot you land in is not always ideal. I find that so inspiring, Kristen. Keep blooming!
your patients are so lucky to have you to take care of them. you will be the best nurse for sure.
when i was a hospice volunteer i always asked people about their honeymoon. they got beautiful smiles on their faces and told me wonderful stories.
If you're feeling ambitious and are ready to deal with the leaf carpet, mow it up before the winter/spring precipitation hits. Good mulch for the soil and perhaps something nice that's been dormant will appear. While it might be a good home for good insects, also home for not so good insects.
As we've cleaned out invasive plants/shrubs/trees from our property, we've been rewarded with a ton more daffodils/tulips (plant by one of the two previous owners), wildflowers and ramps.
The little one was sincere - s/he's thinking of running and playing in them - fun stuff. Some are into house beautiful yards (usually those with small yards!) but when you have trees, you have leaves, twigs, sticks, and branches.
Our very own Florence Nightingale, love from Denmark,
Haha, what's funny is that it's exactly what my last prickly patient said to me!
I finally found a yard guy, 15 months after I moved. I think I've found a gardening soil-mate. He brightened up a bit as I explained that o expect it'll take a year to get my yard under control and for him to learn its quirks, that I want to rewild the back, that I compost, that I like things a little shaggy, and eventually I may make the effort to go local/low maintenance/non-invasive/critter friendly. Oh, and that I didn't see the point of paying to haul away my leaves then pay for mulch.
I'm finding Deborah Harkness' "A Discovery of Witches" to be just as interesting and infuriating as it was on the first read.
I decided on my list for family to get me if they want to get me Xmas gifts.
My new house still makes me happy. I'm in the library now, spread out on the couch, reading, surrounded by books and some of my favorite furniture. The gas fireplace is nice to look at even though I never use it.
Fall is the season I enjoy most.
@WilliamB, *soil-mate* Love it!
@Bobi, A fortuitous typo!
Leaving piles of leaves in your yard is pollinator friendly. Leaving a small pile of brush somewhere is helpful to birds.
Hi:) I just wrote a really great note to you but it accidentally vamooshed so for now wanted to say I really enjoy you and wanted to share my concern re toxins of processed foods as in the Savoritz one you note.. there is an especially toxic ingredient TBHQ.. please read .. will be back next week 🙂 Cheers and ++ kudos to your great life, plans and outlook! Enjoy reading about your life and fyi I'm living my best life now at 63 🙂 More soon
I wonder if you might be thinking of the cheese crackers? These crisps have only one ingredient, which is cheddar cheese. 🙂
I'm glad you'll be back!
Thank you for sharing your positivity. Your post made me smile. I am generally a positive person but I need a little optimistic nudge now and again. 🙂
Aww, I am so glad it made you smile!
Bloom where you are planted.
You're going to be a wonderful nurse. Like with any other service profession such as diffusing the situation with an angry customer at a retail store or over the phone at a call centre, or when dealing with a not-so-pleasant patient, will almost always give a better result than meeting them with the same energy.
I'm keto so eat very few carbs and no sugar of any kind. Those cheese snacks are delish but can be expensive. Costco carries the Whisps brand here (Canada) and usually offers the best value.
When I worked in healthcare, I always tried to be kind and build rapport with my patients, but sometimes . . .
There will be that occasional male patient who has lost all inhibition and grabs female caregivers inappropriately, and enjoys the response. This type of patient will continue until you make it VERY clear to them that's not acceptable. Yes, it is related to their brain dysfunction, but you don't have to stand for being molested when you are trying to give them care. Likewise for the ones who self-pleasure in your presence (young males with brain injuries seem to really like to do this!). I'd just tell them to knock it off in my mean mommy voice.
And I once had an older woman patient who I tried every bit of kindness with, but you just could NOT please her. I was pushing her in her wheelchair and I accidentally bumped the door frame with the foot pedal of the wheelchair. As I was apologizing she yelled at the top of her voice "YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!!" I matched her tone of voice and said "I did NOT and if that's what you think then push yourself" and stepped back away from her wheelchair. She actually checked herself, apologized to ME, and after that she was much easier to work with. So with some people you really need to set boundaries.
I was an OT, not a nurse, but when an RN has to give 50 or more people their morning meds, do treatments, document orders and then start all over again before lunch in a SNF or LTC setting, there is NO time for the niceties. So I get why many nurses choose the "take no crap" method. The best nurses (and yes, I can already tell you are one) may circle back when there's a little time to establish that rapport if they can't do it in the moment. Nursing assistants in SNF/LTC can have 9 to 11 patients at a time, plus helping their co-workers with patients who need 2 or more people to transfer into a chair or on the commode or toilet. In an acute setting like you're in, you all have fewer patients and a bit more time, which is a great luxury, even if the care needs are more intense.
OT/PT/ST get paid to spend more time with a patient, so it was always easier for us.
Agreed on the LTC; based on my clinical experience so far, I don't think I want to work in a long term care facility (for lots of reasons!) I'd rather be on my general surgical floor at the hospital for sure.
And yes, agreed on the boundaries. I know there will come a time when I will need to say to a patient, "I will come back when you are ready to be respectful."
I know you have said you’d like to work with children or in labor and delivery but perhaps you should rethink where you want to land. Being good with the grumpies is a skill that many do not have and your personality is obviously leaving a bit of sunshine in the lives you touch. It sure looks like you found your calling in life.
I like your approach to grumpy/prickly patients--the clinical experience from the patient's side can be scary, uncomfortable, full of worry and unpleasant, not to mention painful. And hurtful--as a plus size woman I have had more medical encounters than I can count that were hurtful, rude, and unrelated to my medical issue. I read once about a psychiatrist who counseled parents that the children most difficult to love were the ones who most needed it; he specialized in treating the children who survived many traumas in WWII. But it seems to me that adults who are difficult are also like children, needing more empathy (patience, kindness, helping hands too) rather than less. Our hearts rarely develop past the age of ten, not scientifically/biologically but how tender and vulnerable we are. You are already a wonderful nurse, Kristen! In a few more months it will be official!
Love your plant photos too. Someday I'll make a pillow that says "Bloom where you're planted," a wonderful motto, along with "East - West -- Home Is Best."
Kristen, about those cheese snacks...
I make them with your fave - cottage cheese!
You just blob a teaspoon of cheese onto baking paper, press down, then sprinkle with the spices you love, and put into the oven until they turn a golden brown.
pretty thoughts! Some weeks are like that...life ebbs and flows; take care!
My yard also looked like that. So many maple trees! And I hate raking and dragging the giant leaf piles into the woods. So this year I set my mower on the highest setting and mowed over it all. It worked amazing and now you can hardly see any leaves. It's all I'll be doing from here on out. I highly recommend trying.
I noticed a tree limb on my hike last week, it had cracked and fallen and was hanging by a shred of bark. Beautiful and will likely fall with the next snow.
I saw my first tree frog in Connecticut, usually I can’t see tree frogs as they move too fast but this one was chilling on my shoe!
I made microwave fudge for the first time in years, consistency was a bit off but taste is a win! For me it tastes like my dad used to make, such a good memories
Thank you for this. I made not one but two silly mistakes at work last night and I feel bad about it. But I can adjust.
I, too, have found that patience and kindness often work when dealing with prickly people (not patients, in my case). You can always switch to being firm if that doesn't work.
Love this post!
On cheese crisps: it is, indeed, as easy as baking little piles of shredded cheese on parchment, BUT…
You really have to watch them - they go from “not very crisp” to “perfect” to “to browned to eat” VERY fast!
You can also do it in a cast iron or nonstick pan over medium-low heat, which I personally find a bit easier to keep a close eye on.
Timing is all over the map, depending on type of cheese, air humidity, amount of cheese, etc.
Oh I love the weeds/Tree metaphor. It is so true. You are truly lucky to be able to walk near the water. We have to drive but it is so relaxing being around it.