Q&A | High School Dating and Window Mildew Cleaning
My mom referred me to your blog because I keep telling her how unsatisfied I am with the school system. My oldest child is a freshman in high school. My only hesitation, besides the amount of work involved, is that he will not be interacting with kids his age as he does now. I understand that kids can play sports and there are homeschool co-ops. But what about a young man being able to flirt and date? I think the opportunities would be less if I homeschool. There are other social concerns, but I think they can be compensated for. What are your thoughts?
To clarify, a freshman doesn't have to date, but surely by the end of high school kids have been interacting in the dating arena.
-A
I may not be the perfect person to ask about this because Mr. FG and I aren't huge fans of the high school dating scene.
(A little background: I was homeschooled and did not date in high school at all. Mr. FG went to public school and had only a few high school relationships.)
We view dating as a way of evaluating potential marriage partners, and since most high schoolers aren't really in a position to get married (and most high-schoolers aren't super mature to boot), we don't see a whole lot of value in high school dating.
There are plenty of years ahead for students to spend dating, so I don't see it as an end-of-the-world thing if a kid graduates from high school without having dated anyone.
It's also worth noting that keeping your son in high school is no guarantee of him having lots of dating experience, as there are plenty of people who graduate from high school with a rather quiet dating record.
I do think it's healthy for high school kids to spend time with other kids, and it sounds like you'd be providing your son with plenty of opportunities for that. Plus, some homeschooled kids do date in high school, so it's not impossible if it's something you want to encourage.
At any rate, if you feel like switching over to homeschooling for your son would be a serious win on multiple levels, I wouldn't personally let your fears about his dating life hold you back.
(Readers, take note: I know that sometimes high-school sweethearts get married and live happily ever after. But by the same token, there are an awful lot of high school relationships that don't deliver much besides a lot of heartache. Also, please note that I'm not saying every parent has to view high school dating the way we do. I don't think there are hard and fast, right and wrong rules about this.)
Living in GA, we have mildew issues on the window muntins. The only way to remove the mildew is with a solution of clorox and water - mixed about half and half. This cleaning/rinsing process leaves clorox residue on the windows which commercial products don't touch (including goof off.) Any ideas?
-JB
Ooh, we have that problem too, and we're up further north!
Bleach is not actually an effective mold-killer, but vinegar can kill up to 82% of the mold/mildew spores.
Just put plain white vinegar into a spray bottle, spray the mildewy areas, let the vinegar sit for an hour, and then wipe down the area.
If the vinegar smell doesn't dissipate in a day or two, you can always spray a regular cleaning solution over your cleaned areas and wipe them down.
This should be an effective, frugal, and less messy way to get rid of your mildew problems. Do let me know how it goes.
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Readers, if you've got thoughts to share about today's Q&A topics, share them in the comments and help your fellow readers out!
Wow Kristen. I TOTALLY agree about the high school dating scene. We also believe that the purpose of dating is to find a potential marriage mate. It is not for "fun". Dating as a teen causes a whole host of problems. Young people rush into relationships and it's all very heady, but mistakes will be made. Teens will go too far physically, get too involved too soon, give their hearts away too fast. And one never truly recovers from that.
I believe that the more people one dates, the less happy they are once married, because their mind will always ask, "What if?". Better to observe from a distance, DECIDE in advance what qualities are admirable in a potential mate (often the very opposite of what attracts teens!) and then carefully proceed. The Bible says people shouldn't marry until they are "past the bloom of youth". The stats are very clear - younger marriages have awfully high divorce rates and in fact totally skew the stats. It's not true that half of marriages end in divorce, if they marry at a more respectable age in other words - it's young people who create that statistic.
For me, avoiding the dating thing is very much part of the reason we homeschool. There are so many potential problems we avoid: teen pregnancy, date rape, STDs, broken hearts, etc. My teens have not dated, although they have had crushes and have many friends of the opposite se - so there is plenty of opportunity to get accustomed to talking to girls/boys - in a group setting.
Also, it just drives me insane when people assume that homeschooled teens have no social life! I barely see my teens sometimes and have to make a date to hang out with them. Just last week, my 18 year old was: gone to a Super Bowl party, enjoyed band practice with his friends, played pool, hung out a couple of items - seriously it is a NON-ISSUE.
My younger teens are almost as busy. They hang out with their friends on evenings and weekends and if homeschooled, sometimes during the week. They play with neighbor kids. They are involved in "church" things a few times a week. They have part-time jobs.
This persistent myth that homeschoolers are somehow backwards social mouthbreathers is so ridiculous
I spit out my coffee laughing at "backwards social mouthbreathers," hahaha!
Carrie, can you please provide a reference for the "past the bloom of youth" passage? I haven't heard that interpretation before. Thanks!
I'd be interested to hear this too. I think, taken contextually, this isn't what Paul was addressing in this passage.
It was common place in the first century for families to arrange marriages for girls as soon as they were sexually mature.
Yes. Several translations render it "past youth" or something similar.
http://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/7-36.htm
I'm a high school teacher in a public school and we have quite a few home-schooled students who take one or two classes here, especially our visual arts and instrumental music classes. If your local school allows this, it might be a compromise that allows for a little of the high school experience.
Great idea!
Hi! I truly value your views about high school dating - we are more "liberal" but are still considered strict around here (big suburb in Northeast Ohio) because we will not allow our kids to date until age 16. (The horror )
One of my children did date for a few months when he was 16; he was dumped and has not dated again - he does have girls as friends. So I don't think it was all that great an experience.
My youngest is about to turn 16 - she already has a prospect lined up. Fortunately, he also comes from a religious home (different religion but conservative values) and was not allowed to date until he was 16. They have common interests - good grades, athletes, art club - and will be carefully supervised. Am I thrilled about it? No, but I'm OK with it - we will see.
There is *so much* grey area between high school sweethearts and terrible heartache!
In the interest of context, I dated in high school, my husband did not. We've been happily married for over a decade, have a child together, both have graduate degrees and good jobs. So very little difference in the "traditional measures of success" department.
Did I have my heart broken? Sure. It felt like the biggest deal EVER at the time, but one of the great things I learned was how to pick myself up and dust myself off. There was never any question of "never recovering from that"- HA!
My high school relationships were in some ways the most fun, and the least pressure, relationships. (Alcohol wasn't a big feature of my high school experience like it was in college).
They were genuine relationships, even (especially?) since they didn't result in marriage! There was a ton of negotiating what we wanted, what we didn't want, what we liked, what we didn't. That's the number one area where I see the lack of dating experience in my husband- the idea that he has needs and wants and how to articulate them, and that someone else has needs and wants that don't don't always line up with his tends to throw him for a loop. I realize that is not solely attributable to his lack of dating experience in high school, but it would have added a few years more practice 🙂
I would add that the risks of date rape, unwanted pregnancy, and STDs are not limited to high school- they apply all the way up to (and including!) marriage.
I totally relate and agree on what you are saying. I dated in high school, my husband started dating in university only. We meet when I was 26 and he 21. We've been together for 10 years now, 2 kids. We are happy. A mariage is not built on a past dating profile but on what you invest in your current relationship, day after day.
My goodness you guys have dire views of high school dating.
Sure it can hurt, so can pretty much anything else about which we take risks. Grammar school friendship breakups can be every bit as hurtful as high school dating breakups, but we don't see people homeschooling their kids in order to protect them from heedlessly cruel 6 year olds. Or, or that matter, deliberately cruel 6 year olds.
Not every high school has sex or even dates; my friends tended to the latter but not the former. Nor does a painful experience necessarily mark one for life. Good judgment comes from experience, but experience comes from bad judgment. Sometimes it's better to do at least part of the learning while the stakes are lower. How can you learn to see if someone is who s/he appears to be, or if that trait really matters in your life, if you haven't actually tested those skills?
Also, Carrie, the divorce statistics for people who marry in the 30s or later are also dire. Youngsters may make mistakes but oldsters can be inflexible.
I'm with you on this one, WilliamB. While I don't have children yet, I dated in high school. Never had sex, and also never had a crushing heart break. What I did have was time to figure out what I did like in a partner (funny, laid back, smart) and what I didn't like (ego, loudmouth, lack of intelligence). While those seem like obvious traits, by dating people in both categories, I figured out what to look for in people so when I dated in college, I didn't end up spending months with the wrong person. Also, since I was dating while living with my parents, they were also on the lookout for red flags and they were there when I needed to talk through stuff. And when I hit college, I wasn't over whelmed with dating for the first time while also being away from home for the first time. I can see both sides but I often think that when you're very restrictive about something, it has a great chance of turning around and biting you in the bum.
I guess the gist of what I'm saying is this:
If the only reason you're making an academic choice for your high schooler is so that they'll get dating experience, then I think you're placing too high a value on high school dating. There's plenty of time for dating later on, and I think that putting your kid in a schooling environment that's right for them is way more important in the long run.
In another vein, sometimes people hesitate to homeschooling because, "What about prom?" Setting aside the fact that many homeschool groups have proms, prom just isn't THAT important in the grand scheme of things. If there are a lot of other pressing reasons to choose homeschooling, then I would just not worry about prom, and make the decision based on the other more pressing reasons.
Interesting. I was seeing the obverse: the feeling that the reason some people here homeschool was to "protect" their kids from dating - either dating itself, or the potential hurt feelings that could come from it.
My feeling about prom is "bleck" but YMMV. The feeling is also going to vary by geographic area and social/societal group.
I was just referring to the original questioner...she was saying one of her main hesitations was the lack of dating. 🙂
Mr. FG felt very bleck about prom too!
I was homeschooled and worked in a local coffee shop and people would always ask me if I was under socialized. We always just laughed and said "do I seem under socialized?". I participated in a home school tutorial which gave me opportunities to date, but I didn't really until I met my (now) husband in college. The other side of the coin is that I grew up with the "I kissed dating goodbye" culture which I feel like put too much pressure on people to pick your life mate before you got a cup of coffee. Some of my friends that dated this way already headed for divorce in part because they rushed the marriage part of the equation. I wouldn't personally worry about dating opportunities in high school, but I hope my kids are careful with their hearts and enter dating more casually. I would like to see them get to know a few people (I guess in that slightly more than friends zone) before settling with to make exclusive relationship, and I'd rather them actually be in the position to look at marriage. I was graduating high-school when we started dating, so the four years of finishing college firsr wasn't so far off to aim for.
I should edit that I was one of several homeschoolers at that coffee shop and we all were asked that question/responded accordingly.
The thing that is funny about this is that if you were, in fact, "under socialized" then you likely wouldn't know it. If you don't know, how can you report your lack to them? People do not think before they speak.
Not to mention that those of us who were homeschooled often get this question in the middle of a conversation that's going along just fine. Which makes it even funnier!
ADDITIONALLY, lol, the notion that one must be properly socialized by spending large amounts of time with large groups of same age people who are at the same developmental stage as you are and, therefore, wholly unable to add anything to your growth, is laughable. I consider honeschooling frequently and socialization is never a concern.
Can vinegar kill shower mold?
Yes. Trial and error and trial and error and a) bleach is a very temporary solution, b) strong bleach solution works worse than milder bleach solution, but still temporary, c) Simple Green doesn't work at all, d) vinegar and a gentle scrubber (the crocheted tulle ones, or a nearly worn out Scotch Pad) work really well. Make sure to rinse with clean water afterward.
I read that hydrogen peroxide works very well on mold/etc in bathroom caulk. The author of the blog where I saw the tip took the cotton roping used in beauty salons, soaked it in hydrogen peroxide, and laid it along the edge of the tub where it met the tile.
I haven't tried it myself yet, however.
My two homeschooled daughters dated in high school, though not too much. Fortunately, they usually socialized in group settings. One had a boy friend in public school. She met him when his friend brought him along to a summer homeschooling event. He wanted a much more serious relationship than my daughter did, and she ended up breaking up with him.
The other daughter dated a boy in our homeschooling group, briefly. She was dual enrolled in a local college, and dated a college boy for a while. I allowed this as she was extremely sensible and mature for her age. Also, I drove her to Starbucks, the restaurant, or wherever the date was held, then picked her up again.
I went to public school and did not date in high school.
I use vinegar to clean almost everything around the house, including our wooden butcher block, and it does a bang-up job.
As far as homeschooling and dating, your son can still meet people, just not in the traditional classroom setting. If he's involved socially in sports/church/music, he can still meet some nice young ladies. 🙂
I'm pro-high school dating (within reason), but I know everyone's preferences and experiences are different. I do have to say that high school dating gave me insight in how a man should treat me and how I set, follow, and respect boundaries. But yes, that's stuff that you can still learn once you're an adult and hormones don't have a cold grip on your brain. 🙂
I work at a university and I see college students who come from so many different educational backgrounds and experiences. What I can say is that the most successful students are the ones who come prepared academically, not the ones who are fixated on their social lives. I think the real focus for any freshman in high school--regardless of whether that's a home school, a conventional high school, or some hybrid--should be academic and, to some extent, extra-curricular. This is important even for kids who aren't headed to college immediately after high school because both college and work are hard, and spending time in high school developing study skills, grit, and a foundation of knowledge for the future are so much more important than dating. Social skills and experiences are definitely important but adolescents can avail themselves of those experiences in so many contexts--school, certainly, but also sports, music, arts, church, family friend networks, and so much more.
WOW!!!! read thru most of the comments & didn't see this so I will state it, I was always taught "choose a date who will make a good mate" !!!! I know some may think thats strange but thats the way it was 🙂 We have also instilled that in our children. I home schooled high school & truly hated it for numerous reasons, the hubby went to high school & enjoyed his expierence there. We chose to send all of our children to public high school & they have thrived there. We have 2 that have already graduated & the youngest is a sophomore. That being said did we/do we like everything NO but it was a good choice for our family. This is not a small school either graduating class every year is 600-650 so alot of differences but our children learned to deal with all kinds of people. All that being said so you know background OUR CHILDREN DO NOT DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL. We wanted them to be friends w/ both male & female w/out that stigma of dating. Every family has to do what they feel is right for them.
I guess my question to you would be: what if you have a homosexual child and/or what if you have a child who is not interested in marriage? For our family, we see dating as a fun way to explore relationships without putting the pressure on that dating needs to eventually lead to marriage. When our boys are at dating age, our biggest concern will be if they are being respectful and fully understand consent. I got married at 19, so this may be affecting why my husband and I have a strict no pressure on marriage attitude. We just hope that our boys can find a partner they love and loves them back...and if they get married-GREAT! If they don't- GREAT! Relationships are hard with or without the certificate, and that's what we want our boys to focus on. I don't think marriage HAS to be the ultimate goal, but we hope they can find someone to have a loving relationship with, whether it be multiple people over the span of their lives or just one.
Just to clarify, Mr. FG and I don't think that every relationship is going to lead to marriage. Sometimes you discover that someone isn't right for you, and you should wisely move on.
I guess my concern is what if you have a child who NEVER wants to get married? Why does marriage have to be the end goal for all?
Well, (and I know this is not a popular view), as Christians, we believe that God's best plan for us is for sex to happen only in a marital relationship. So, I suppose that hypothetically, that doesn't exclude a long-term sexless relationship. But realistically, that's sort of unlikely to happen because one thing tends to follow another. 😉
I definitely don't expect people who aren't Christians to think the same way as I do about this. And I don't think of it in a legalistic sense...I don't think pre-marital sex sends people to hell, or that it's unforgivable or that it's the Biggest Deal Ever or anything like that.
I believe God has wiped away all my sins past, present, and future, so I am never obeying what God says out of fear. It's more like, ok, God made me, he knows what's best for me, and I trust that he's wiser than me, so I'm gonna do what he says.
I know you're not going to agree with me, but I hope that helps explain where I'm coming from a little better.
Awesome response! Agree!
Hello,
I am sure Bible can guide you through dating i.e sexual relationships outside marriage. If you follow Jesus then his life is what you want to emulate. What kind of relationships did he have with women? Would he go to an environment (prom/bar) that is not congruent with his values?
The same is concept is applicable to whoever you follow, be it Muhammad, Jesus, Moses or Buddha.
Farhana
First, I want to say I have an issue with mold and mildew on my window sills and frames (deep south here) and I've been using vinegar, after changing the paint color on my sills by using bleach/water mix. That was an unhappy discovery, to be sure. The vinegar works great, and no more going crazy trying to work with bleach. I don't like bleach and I hate its smell, so vinegar is a fine smell to me.
And dating in high school, wow, lots of opinions and emotions on both sides. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16; my dad said I needed to know how to drive to get myself out of a situation before I could date. Due to the fact that I was a total wallflower, he didn't need to worry. No dates were offered until college. 🙂 My own girls couldn't date until 16 either. Well, one of them didn't date in high school at all, just attended a few dances with friends who were boys, and was content to be single until she was in college, but the other one had a steady boyfriend soon after turning 16, who she dated all through the rest of high school and into college. We had lots of conversations about guidelines and encouraged her to date other guys as much as we could, but she was smitten. That relationship lasted several years yet didn't turn out well at all. I by NO MEANS suggest that unhappiness is what always happens if one allows dating in high school. My meaning is, both our kids had the same rules, but we got totally different behaviors and outcomes. Parents have to decide about their own children, whom they know as well as anyone can, and dating. There are absolutely no guarantees on outcome, no matter what you decide.
I know of homeschoolers who took dance, played sports, and had active social lives. I know of some who were very unsocial, and being at home suited their personalities just fine. I know of one who won the Heisman (just sayin'). I have no problem with homeschool, private school or public school, as long as the child gets a good education and thrives wherever he or she is studying.
This is so interesting! Thanks for letting us know how your family works, Kristen. I'm always interested to hear from families with older kids who seem really close as a family. Even as a teenage I was close to my parents, and I want that to continue for my own kids. They're 7, 5 and 3.
I was not allowed to date until I was 16, but by the time I turned 16 I decided none of the losers in my high school were worth my time. 😉 I had a great group of friends and went to prom in groups with my friends. It was awesome. My husband was the first person I ever dated, kissed, said "I love you" etc. We started dating in college. We've been married for almost 8 years (our kids are adopted, our oldest didn't cause a shotgun wedding!)
My husband had a "serious" high school girlfriend. His family was very liberal about dating and encouraged "boyfriend/girlfriend" stuff really young.
We may not let our kids date in high school at all, or we may make them wait until they're 16. We'll see. But our main priorities are: raising kids who love the Lord and (secondary) being close as a family. I hope that will allow some of the dating stuff to resolve naturally, like it did for me.
Thank you for posting!
Going back to Carrie's comment of thinking about "what if" I think the opposite is also true. If you've rarely dated there's an equal chance you may feel you've 'settled' and "what if" you'd have dated more, would you still have married them? I have friends who feel that way. Or, which I've also seen, you marry the only guy you've ever dated and get stuck I. A bad relationship because you have no alternative experience.
Although I agree with you Kristen that dating shouldn't be the sole reason to decide whether or not to homeschool.
Yes, that's the main point of what I was trying to say...the dating scene or lack thereof shouldn't be the big driver of educational choices.
My husband and I met while in high school but not at school. We met at church--a much better place to find a future mate. We dated for two years before we married and that was 50 years ago. I dated a lot my senior year so I knew I was choosing well when we finally decided to marry.
I have a daughter in HS (junior year). We live in a large Midwestern metropolitan area. My daughter is academically very strong, is involved in the National honor's society and plays on the Ultimate Frisbee team. She's always been very sports minded and has always been involved in sports, often co-ed sports. Her friends are all like-minded, both in academics and sports. While her sport is Frisbee, she has friends on virtually every other sports team in school. She only has a couple of friends who date and those are kids who have been in dating the same person since their freshman year. As far as my daughter and her friends they tend to hang out as a big group (male and female). They really aren't into the dating scene. I do know their are kids in her school who are into the dating scene, some of these tend to be more "party" minded, but not all. Anyway, my point is, you might be surprised how many kids in high school don't really date, rather just hang out.
This is so interesting. I don't recall dating being a big deal in high school One way or the other. But I do remember my single friends and I, in our 20s, occasionally meeting a guy Who was clearly inexperienced with asking a girl out and dating. It wasn't endearing, it raised a flicker of concern.
To me, identifying a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, getting to know each other, and figuring out how to handle disagreements are all skills that will serve someone well in marriage.
I had two kids that went to public high school that didn't date. Each one for their own reasons. 🙂
Dating vs. Not dating. Well, I met my husband when we were 15. We dated off and on (mostly on) for 8 years prior to getting married at 23. That was 17 years ago now. We were one of only a few real relationships in our school the whole time we were together. Most people would go to a dance together or the movies or hook up, but weren't really together. We realize now that, emotionally, we were basically married, but too young to be married. Sometimes you just meet the right person right away and there is no rhyme or reason to that. It could have just as easily been that we met at our first job or something. Regardless, we were like magnets and that was that.
We are grateful we were worked out the drama of learning to grow and adapt as a couple when we were in school. We had our parents and friends witnessing so much of it and able to support us in making better decisions.
We won't stop our boys from dating as teenagers, but it isn't conveyed as a goal, either. All 3 want to marry and have kids, evidently, because they have volunteered this information to us.
Our oldest has autism but he has the most specific plans for marriage and parenthood. It is very meaningful to him. I hope it works out. At least, I think I do. It's kind of complicated for him.
The 11 year old has been quietly infatuated with a close friend since 1st grade. She is an awesome kid and we secretly think it would be great if that works out for him, sure, but we aren't cheering for it because that would be weird. Our 8 year old is the same way. How did that even happen? Do precocious relationship tendencies pass on genetically? We don't encourage this stuff. It is like emotional mushrooms are popping up everywhere. My husband and I both had little kid style crushes (on other kids, not each other) in KINDERGARTEN. So bizarre. Our parents and friends did not push that, it was just how we both were. Lovers, not fighters.
Personality plays such a huge part in these decisions.
Our nephew, whom we are raising, is on the Autism spectrum. He's almost 17 and a sophomore, and not interested in dating right now. I think he probably will eventually, and has made reference to being married and having a family. Like your son, he has a clear plan, which includes a German Shepherd named Richard. Some of his friends at school date, and I think there is one young lady who kind of likes him. But unless she came right out and said so, in no uncertain terms, he would never pick up on it.
I didn't date in high school, but did have many boy-friends, and we went out in groups. I didn't really date in college either, as there was a severe shortage of boys at my school! Been married nearly 10 years, and I think I picked a good one, despite my lack of early dating.
I'm with you, Kristen. I didn't date at all in high school and I'm glad I didn't. The guys were immature and annoying, and looking back now I realize how immature I was also (even though I thought otherwise). I can't personally imagine that it would have done me any good at all.
I was a serial dater in h.s. I had a soft heart and if a guy asked me out I agreed. It was always exclusive and "serious," and we went through the emotional wringer a few times. Usually, the relationships lasted for a few months and were pretty chaste. But halfway through my junior year, I started dating a guy who wasn't really good news. He didn't treat me well and pressured me to have sex with him. I can't remember why I stayed with him at first, but after I slept with him I felt bound by my Christian upbringing to stay with him forever so I wouldn't go to hell for sleeping with more than one person. After 2 1/2 years I had an epiphany and finally broke up with him. I'm so glad I never got pregnant. Looking back, I wish that I had been more free and had more fun when I was a teenager. I wish that I had had more opportunity to appreciate the other sex in non-romantic ways. On the other hand, by the time I was 20 I knew exactly what I did and didn't want in a husband, and I ended up marrying the best man in the world.
I went to public and private school for my first two years of h.s. and homeschooled for the last two (I was homeschooling when I got into my bad relationship). Dating doesn't only happen in a school setting. Unless my parents had been scary, hyper-controlling people who locked me in our house, they couldn't have prevented me from dating. I only wish they had given me some more rational and realistic guidance.
I'm late to this party and my comment is likely to get buried, but I'd still like to point out what I think is the most distinctive trait of high school dating.
It's the time spent together.
Assuming you are in classes with the person you're dating, teens are likely to spend all day together, then hang out on after school and on weekends. It's no wonder their breakups are so hard, on top of all the hormones they're having accelerated relationships. It's like dating someone you work with all day.
When I dated (someone not from my class) in university I spent maybe 9 hours a week with the person. In high school I was in class with my boyfriend from 9am-3pm, that's 30 hours a week right there, even though we weren't constantly interacting. Add to that after school activities, visiting each other's house, and weekends spent mostly together. I could conceivably spend 50 hours a week with him. One week of a high school relationship was like five weeks of real-world dating.
I knew my high school boyfriend REALLY well because in a year of dating I had spent 5 times the amount of time with him than real world dating.
Homeschoolers who date as teens still aren't getting exactly the same experience (for better or worse). They do have more free time than grown up real-world counterparts (they aren't running a household or taking care of kids and even if the people they date go to a traditional school they can probably meet up around 3pm instead of at the end of a 5pm workday). But they don't have the 30 hours a week of classroom time spent alongside their love interest. The relationship isn't quite so accelerated.