Monday Q&A | Low-Carbing, Heat and Houseguests, & College
Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you'd like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!
I have been on a low carb diet for several years, all your recipes are high in carbs, can you help me with that?
-Debbie
Oh dear...I'm really, really not the girl for that! I probably eat more carbs than is good for me and I am not at all well-versed in low-carbing (I don't think there is a way to make my bread recipes low-carb!).
However, I'm sure that some of my readers have done low-carbing frugally, so hopefully some of them will have some advice for you.
I'm a new reader and just had a question about keeping your house cool in winter. We keep ours around 65 all winter, which we're very comfortable with (it's actually less about being frugal and more about preference, really!). However, when our family comes to visit they make a big production about leaving their jackets on and shivering the whole time they're here. I wonder if you have the same problem at all with guests and how you address it?
-Heather
Our house isn't particularly large and when we have guests, just the extra body heat seems to warm the kitchen, living room, and dining room right up. In fact, when we've got a lot of company in the winter, I often get a little bit too warm.
Of course, if our guests stayed overnight in the bedrooms, maybe the coolness would be a problem.
If you've got the money to pay for it and your family isn't staying for weeks at a time, I'd consider bumping up the thermostat for the duration of their visit. It probably won't cost that much more and it might make your guests a little happier. 😉
Though I don't have to adjust the heat for guests, I do take their comfort into consideration when it's warm weather. Normally our AC is at 78-80, and when we're going to have company, I almost always turn it down several degrees because I want our guests to feel comfortable in our home.
Supposing your child is going to college. When it comes to choosing the college, paying for it, picking a major, and finally looking for work, what, in your opinion, is the proper parents' role and child's role in all this?
-Jenny
I don't think there's one proper way to do this, but Mr. FG and I are working at saving up some money for our children's college expenses. I highly doubt that we will save up enough to pay entirely for four 4-year degrees, but something is better than nothing.
We'll also encourage our kids to attend our excellent local community college for the first year or two (tuition is reasonable and they can live at home) and also encourage them to apply for scholarships. And I hope that they will be able to work part-time while they're in college like I did.
As far as picking the major goes, that will mostly be up to our kids. As they grow, we're trying to help them discover what it is they're good at so that they'll be able to figure out what college major they need or if they even need college (Lisey wants to be a pastry chef, so school for her might look different than a school for Joshua, who wants to be a herpatologist).
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Readers, you can weigh in on all 3 of these questions (which is not the case when someone asks something like, "What are your favorite things about Mr. FG?"!), so add your thoughts to mine!
Today's 365 post: And this is Lisey's (also, in case you missed it yesterday, take a peek at 2 other pumpkins)
Heather,
My parents do that exact same thing! One time I commented that I was a little chilly, and my dad suggested that I "open up the fridge to let some warm air in"! My mom just sits in front of the fireplace and talks about how my kids will probably end up with frostbite. In a 65 degree house, I'm sure frostbite is a danger!:P
I have the same problem with second-guessing my thermostat settings when guests are in our home. We have company at least once a week, if not more often, so I think it does impact my bill.
It tends to be too warm upstairs in the summer, where I have 10-foot ceilings, and too cool downstairs in the winter, where it's partially below-grade.
During cold weather, I try to leave the thermostat fairly low and bake something right before guests come to warm up the upstairs (and we need food anyway). If we need to use the downstairs because it's more accommodating and the TV is down there, I usually crank up the heat. 😛 During the summer, I just try to keep everyone downstairs!
I agree that part of hospitality is making your guests feel comfortable. To me, this includes adjusting the heat or air conditioning accordingly. After all, they are probably only visiting a few hours to a couple of days at most. The temperature adjustment for that amount of time isn't going to send us to the poor house.
In fact, when my parents have visitors, one of the first things they offer is to adjust the thermostat.
Temperature: My husband and I keep our 1100 sq. ft. condo pretty cool, too. For something like a party or the like, it's not usually a problem b/c people are milling around and are fully dressed (bear with me!). When someone is staying longer and will be more sedentary (like my girlfriend stays the weekend or in-laws stop by for a day of football games) we make sure there are quilts and throws hanging around. When folks stay over in our guest room, we provide a variety (not just an abundance) of blankets and also offer to open or close the a/c vent in that room, which makes a big difference. Finally, if you just tell people "let me know if you're cold," it helps them a lot both mentally and physically. 🙂
Carbs: My husband and I also eat very low-carb, even when we aren't "dieting," because we are a little insulin resistant and hope not to become diabetic. It can be expensive because you can't "fill up" on cheaper foods like pasta, rice, and bread, and have to get almost all your food from protein, veggies, dairy and fruit. One of the easiest things you can do to save money on this kind of diet is buy frozen and canned fruits and vegetables. Many people mistakenly believe these foods are "lesser" than fresh, but in actuality since this produce is processed almost immediately after picking, it is often more nutritious. You MUST read labels so you can avoid added sugar and choose the option with the lowest possible sodium (many canned items are now available with NO SALT ADDED). You can always salt to taste at the table, but the "sodium" in canned items is not always even discernible in the *flavor,* anyway. And, I know Mrs. FG isn't a fan of clubs like Costco, but the most expensive things you seem to blow through on a low-carb diet (nuts, cheese, eggs, olive oil, Canadian bacon!) can be amazingly cheaper in bulk if you have space to store them and can avoid waste. We don't buy frozen fruit/veggies there, though, b/c we just can't eat 4 pounds of green beans before they burn in the freezer or we burn out on them! Hope this helps!
My future in-laws keep the house a little too cold for my liking. I understand when it's just your family but I stayed over last Christmas and nearly froze my toes off. That's just inhospitable!
Yeah, it's my in-laws that do this - FIL in particular. Trouble is, their house is so hot we're all almost fainting when we go there (summer or winter). They have a wood-furnace that's always stoked to the brim and, if it's not heating fast enough, he'll put the electric furnace on too. He's also been known to turn the oven on and open the door! Very weird as they're usually very un-wasteful people. We do turn the heat up a bit when they're here - we try to meet him halfway...at room temperature. I guess I'm just looking for what's reasonable as he's very "cold-blooded". I just can't get meals on the table if my heat's at 75 (which is what he keeps their house at) - all I want to do is have a nap!
When people come over I warn in advance that we keep our house at 62 in the day and 50 at night, so come prepared with an extra layer and slippers. Honestly, when I am working on cleaning, cooking and kids all day I can wear a single layer and be too warm, often I switch to a short sleeved shirt. But I know others get cold, so we have throws and I try and have hot drinks available too. But I can't afford to turn up the heat, the gas bill is too high in the winter even at those temps because our house is over 100 years old.
This is what I do as well. Everyone who comes to my house knows to wear layers. And I provide throws etc....Maybe it is just me, but what happened to basic manners? I would never go to someone else's house and complain about the heat/cold, lumpy mattress, etc...I am just happy that they extended an invitation.
One could say it's sorta rude/bad manners to force your guests to freeze. Just saying 😉
Yep. My perspective is that MY manners are the ones I need to worry about, and I feel like good manners compel me to make my home inviting (cool in the summer, warm in the winter).
Should company be polite? Absolutely. But their politeness isn't my responsibility...just my own!
As for the college bit - I just wanted to suggest that if your children stay at home and attend a CC for a year or two - please encourage them to get involved on campus. Retention, success in college is heavily tied to being social active in college, too. (Some obviously do well without it, but the vast majority it's a clear correlation).
And when they transfer to a university, encourage them some more. Join clubs, ask people from class to eat lunch together, etc. Too often I see my transfer students not succeed because they keep to themselves and don't have social support to go along with their academics.
Plus, often times CC don't prepare students well for upper division science courses. This is unfortunate, but seems to be the case in every state I've lived. If you have a scientist on hand, you might want to think about them starting at the main university rather than the community college.
My comment is in regard to college. My parents could not help financially with college, but I wanted to go to school. They did offer to let me live at home while I took time to earn money for school. For me, that was two years.
At the end of two years, I felt I had enough saved for most of my tuition, room and board at a Bible School. With that money available, I was able to complete the cost of most of my degree with part-time work. The last semester, I borrowed a small amount. My parents, by that time, felt they could pay off the small loan, which they did.
Working before going to college was beneficial to me. I had more of an idea of what I was interested in studying. I also had matured somewhat by living in the work-a-day world. Also, I appreciated my eduction because I had worked so hard to obtain it.
Just thought my experience might give someone some ideas regarding college.
I agree with Diane regarding college. We were not able to help our children very much because of our own tight finances, so our children have worked very hard, applied for scholarships, and taken out small loans. I feel that parents expecting to pay for college completely has encouraged the slower maturation rate of 18-20somethings that we see in our culture. Working to pay for college themselves matured my kids, and they valued each credit hour in a way that parent-financed kids do not. On the other hand, we have helped in whatever way we can...we gave $1000 per year, allowed them to live at home rent-free and borrow our car while they worked, etc.
I'd like to comment on the college question. I am a HUGE proponent for NOT attending a 2-year community college if you are considering transfering into a 4-year school to finish your bachelor's. While my parents had a little money saved, it was nowhere near enough to cover the costs of the 4-year private school I desperately wanted to attend. In the end, I decided to go to a 4-year state school that offered me a full-tuition scholarship. I still had to pay room and board, so I became a Resident Assistant my second year so my room was covered. My parents could have afforded to pay for my meal plan, but I decided to foot the bill myself. I had to take out student loans to do so, but they were very modest- especially compared to a lot of other college students! I was also able to graduate in 3 years at the ripe old age of 20. I am proud to say I paid for my own education. I worked my butt of to work 2 jobs and go to school full time, taking upwards of 8 classes per semester. In the end I think I'm a better person for it.
On the other hand, you have my brother. He decided to go to a 2-year community college before transfering to a 4-year state school. While the overall costs of the community college were cheaper (especially because of living at home while at attending), the school offered very little in the way of scholarships. He- I mean MY PARENTS- had to pay for EVERYTHING. Then, when he transfered to the 4-year school he (once again) qualified for no scholarships. This is because of a little known fact: TRANSFER STUDENTS GET NOTHING!! Many schools do not offer transfer students merit-based scholarships. They are often also not guaranteed on-campus housing. In fact, the school my brother attended didn't even OFFER dorm housing to transfer students so he had to live off-campus. It's hard enough trying to be part of the school community if you move off campus after 2 years, but it's next to impossible if you are completely new and have to live off campus. In the end, my parents paid for EVERYTHING- again.
Mind you, I also have a lot of friends who were transfer students because I was a Resident Assistant in the transfer dorms. While my school tried to accommodate transfer students, it was also a much larger school so they had more dorm space. I know some schools that don't guarantee dorms for non-freshman period. However, none of my transfer friends (regardless of their grades) qualified for merit-based scholarships- especially full-tuition scholarships.
So... in my personal opinion, I would do what my parents did for me. They were up front that they weren't going to pay for much of my education and that I would not qualify for any need-based financial aid. This made a merit-based scholarship necessary for me to go to college. I worked my butt off in high school to get a full tuition scholarship and then I worked my butt off in college to keep the scholarship and to pay for everything else.
BTW, I have no problem with community colleges. If you are looking to go to a technical school or only want an associates degree, community colleges are fantastic options. However, from a financial aid point-of-view, going to a community college for 2 years "to save money" doesn't actually do that at all. If you are considering this option, decide on your 4-year school choice as well as your community college choice and find out what they offer to transfer students. At least then you won't be blind-sided if the money you saved going to a 2-year college doesn't go as far as you thought it would at a 4-year college.
I'm not sure how many states offer tuition discounts, but in Massachusetts if you attend a community college for 2 years you can then go directly into a 4-year state school and receive a 33% discount on tuition. It's a great option for people who don't do well in high school or can't/don't get scholarship money.
Sounds like, I had a very different experience then your brother. I definitely believe, from my own experience, that a person can do very well by starting off at a Community College. I attended a Community College, got my Associate's Degree, then transferred to a four year University. At Community College, I was able to live cheaply (with my parents) and save up a lot of money by working 3 jobs. At the Univeristy, I was able to live on campus, and I got a few scholarships. Not a full-tuition scholarship, but enough that I was also able to pay for college myself. And I am grateful for the experience.
I'm the exact opposite. I went to a two-year institution first. I actually started while I was in high school. I got a high school scholarship and then another one for transferring. Many schools have a "deal," where if you transfer from a two-year school into a local 4-year, you get a tuition break and can apply for specific scholarships only open to transfers.
I got them all... and ended up having a free-ride. My parents helped with books when they could.
I took a range of courses at the 2-year, and 4-year school and honestly? The courses were the same. Save yourself some money and do the 2-year college route. Definitely worth it.
I found the opposite to be true, especially if you get the 2 year degree and THEN transfer. I went to a community college on scholarship, from the local house of delegates. I worked hard while I was there, kept my grades up, and figured out what I wanted to study. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA (darned astronomy) and got a full scholarship to the 4 year school I wanted to go to, and then did the same thing re:working hard and grades. A lot of it may depend on what and where you are studying, but frankly, 4 year private schools don't give much money to anyone, not just transfer students. In Maryland where I live, all the 4 year public schools are VERY transfer friendly in regards to dorms, financial aid, community, etc. and working together to find a solution that works for the student. Both my husband and I did it, as did MANY of our friends.
I started at an out-of-state four-year university, then returned home, where I took courses at a community college. Then I transferred to a four-year uni. The CC courses were an amazing deal; they were very cheap. When I transferred to the private four-year school, I was received a generous financial aid package--much better than that I received at the public out-of-state school, and my parents make a rather comforable living. I was surprised I was given that amount of aid.
In my opinion, you need to apply to a variety of four-year universities and see what they can offer you in terms of aid packages. By no means would I discourage a student from attending a community college. Frankly, I think such discouragement if foolish. Community colleges can offer quality education at an amazing value. The first couple of years, anyway, you're just taking general-education classes. Might as well take them for a lot less than the four-year university students are paying!
Uh, I clearly don't proofread what I type here!
I'm happy to see so many people here have had different experiences than me with transferring from a community college. It sounds like it differs greatly depending on where you live. I live in NY, where everything from milk to property taxes to in-state college tuition are all insanely high. I still remember my best friend- who graduated with a 4.0 from a community college in NY and transferred to my 4-year state school- crying because our school threatened to kick her out because she didn't qualify for any merit-based scholarships as a transfer student and the money she received from her loans and her father's veterans' checks didn't cover everything. She only got by because an "anonymous donor" called the college and paid off parts of her bill. I think it's a travesty that she had to go through all of that just to get an education.
My brother was in a special honors program in his community college that was stellar. He had to take some really hard courses and really struggled, which was a good thing in his case since school had always come easily to him. His program was amazing and I am in no way saying that community colleges don't offer great educations. However, based on his grades and the program he was in, he SHOULD have gotten at least SOME merit-based scholarships. He transferred from a NY community college to a NYS 4-year institution. Maybe if he had gone to a private college or a state school in another state he would have gotten some financial aid, but my parents terrified him so much about student loans that he refused to even consider any of them. He's one of the lucky few that won't come out with any student loans because my parents can afford to foot the bill (partly because of yours truly not having to strain their resources). Both my husband and his brother didn't have to pay a dime for their education and I can tell you that they don't value every grade and every credit the way I do. My brother is still in college, but I can already see that he is not grateful for his education the same way those of us who paid our own ways are.
I'm in a similar mindset as Diane. I think I matured earlier because I decided to make my own way, but I also think I made that decision because I was already more mature. My brother is definitely less mature than I was at that age and, therefore, the fact that my parents are retired and that putting him through college and perhaps grad school someday (I paid for my own masters, of course) might be straining their resources doesn't even dawn on him.
Interesting. I wonder if this situation is unique to New York, or to U.S. public universities. I think some students don't bother considering private schools because they think they're pricier and that there is no way they could afford them. Or they might assume they don't qualify for scholarships because of an unfortunate period during which they received poor grades. Students should explore all their options and see what they get offered; some private schools award grants for unusual reasons that don't relate to GPA or ACT/SAT exam scores.
The fact is, many of us ARE immature in at least some regard when we graduate high school and embark on the next stage of our lives. Not all of us graduate in three years--or even four, for that matter. Even a formerly high-level-achieving student who has his/her goals set on completing college within a certain time frame might, well, not. You can't predict these things.
It sounds like the situation you describe with your brother is not (solely) because of his age. I find it unusual for graduate-level students to depend on their parents to pay for master's-degree coursework. There are assistantships, grants, work-study programs, workplace tuition reimbursement programs, and those dreaded loans.... Graduate-school education is not a given, but if your parents are treating as such, they may be partly to blame for your brother's taking advantage of them.
Kristen, having lived in your area, I think the community college there is excellent. I've attended it myself and their financial aid/preparation for transferring out is way, way above "average" so I don't see anything wrong with your choice to do so. Unfortunately, as commented above, some community colleges are not so great in those departments.
As for the low-carbing... I hate to say it, but it isn't a frugal diet to be on. My mother lost 150 lbs doing it (under doctor supervision), and the only negative thing she has to say about it is that "it is a very expensive lifestyle." It's sad to say but eating better quality foods/more vegetables and lean proteins is going to hurt the wallet. The best advice I have from experience with it is to clip coupons, watch for sales, and try to do store brands when at all possible (for things like cheese).
Amy, congratulations to your mother! That's no trivial achievement. I'm curious and haven't had the opportunity to ask someone in her situation before - when she says it's an expensive lifestyle (certainly the food costs are high), did she include the reduction in doctors' and medical equipment bills as offsetting costs?
I've gotta go with "probably not" in this case. She's not really the type who would think about that sort of thing. She did it only after she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and only because she didn't want to inject insulin. At the same time, she quit smoking after a 39 year love affair with cigarettes only to complain because her financial savings went into her new diet. In her case, I'm fairly certain that she'd have been far happier financially if she had to pay only for medical insurance to cover costs to treat an ailment. It's a very strange way of looking at it, but I'm pretty sure that more Americans look at healthcare costs this way rather than dealing with the up front expenses of prevention.
My comment is really for Debbie. One low-carb (and also low fat) recipe that is always a winner is a twist on Spaghetti Bolognaise. Basically you can substitute the beef for turkey (which is the lowest fat meat) and then use courgette/zucchini instead of pasta. I use to cook this a lot when I restricted my carbs after 5pm many years ago. I have just started blogging my recipes and will include this one tomorrow - but in case you don't get chance to take a look then basically do whatever you would do to make bolognaise (mines from scratch and slow cooked - so frugal and nutritious and as I control what goes in there aren't any hidden fats) and then instead of using pasta - peel a courgette/zucchini. Once peeled use your potato peeler to remove long strips from the vegetable. Cook for approx. 2-3 minutes in simmering water - test it and then use judgement whether it needs more - it may need up to 10 mins depending on your taste - you will need to try it out really to be sure. With my slow cooked recipe (which I will double check tomorrow) I will just add the courgette to the slow cooker/crock toward the end of cooking but I need to check out timings on that before I post. Also I am posting a carrot and coriander soup recipe today that is also low carb but very healthy and nutritious - just don't eat bread and eat twice the amount of soup - simple! I plan on doing a low-carb variety of recipes, as although I do eat carbs I am aware that too many pile on the pounds! Have fun cooking!
We've heated our home to only 62 for years. My sister used to make fun of us for the first few years but everyone knows we like our house cool and they dress appropriately. Course if we know someone is coming over we will crank it up to 65 but I can barely tolerate it any warmer than that. I get ill when out shopping since stores are usually heated to 70 (or more). One advantage to lower temps is that I am rarely sick (sis says germs can't grow in my house LOL).
I "froze to death" during my first 18 years in my parents' home. As my father got older, and we were gone from home, a woodstove was installed During the winter--no kidding--he'd keep the main part of the house in the low-80's. With his advancing age, he was always cold. Every time I came to visit, I had to make sure I could strip off a few layers, but I was usually still WAY too warm. Many of my visits to my parents found me lethargic, slumped on the couch and sweating up a storm.
When my parents would come to visit me, I'd bump the thermostat up from our usual 65 or so to 70-71 degrees. And dad would keep his boots, heavy jacket and sometimes gloves on (he'd always reject the offer of a blanket or slippers.) And he'd fuss the whole time. But at the time, we had an 50+ year old oil furnace, 60+ year old wooden storm windows, and getting the tank filled was a huge expense (and no one in our area will sell less than 200 gallons at a time.) It was important to me to make sure that tank lasted the full heating season.
All of that to say, I'll bend my usual habits to make my guests comfortable--to a point. If it's going to cause a huge expense, or if accomodating one guest causes others a great deal of discomfort (like setting the thermostat on 80), it's just not gonig to happen.
You know, come to think of it, my father also used to fuss constantly that TV watching was terrible at my house (no cable, no satellite.)
We keep the house at 60 in the winter except when we have guests. I can't expect people to live like I do. Fortunately we have five heat zones so I only have to heat the ones that are actually in use. Still, when my family is here for Thanksgiving I will be wishing I had short sleeved holiday garments as anything above 65 kills me.
LOL good point about Thanksgiving. Last year I picked up a "summer" top on super clearance to wear for Thanksgiving dinner (one of those sparkly, satiny things with no sleeves). It was a good plan and I'll probalby do it again: I looked great with something fresh and new when I finally changed for dinner, and it was so warm in the house (and I was so hot from cooking!) that I was perfectly comfortable. Later on, after some wine and dine, I threw on a cardigan--winner winner turkey dinner!
We keep our thermastat between in the mid 60's but when our families come over, we bump it up to 70 or 72 when family comes or we get "it's freezing in here!"
Umm, many of you wouldn't want to come to my house. Lived in an old house as a child, one that wasn't insulated well, and it was drafty. My extremely frugal father kept the thermostat at the very low 60's mark. Sisters and I would huddle around a certain heat vent blower that would keep you very warm when the heat turned on. We'd fight over the small space. Conversely in the summer, my tiny bedroom had one window and no cross breeze. I remember many times getting up to splash water on myself before laying back down in front of the fan. Was this a Dickens childhood? Nooo, but my house now is always warm, (70 degrees), in the winter, and cool, (72-75 degrees), in the summer. Always said that when I had my own house and could pay the bills I'd heat and cool it the way I want! This post is long. This topic struck a chord with me...
I live in Rochester NY 1 mile from the lake small 1100 sq ft cape cod built in 1913 we keep heat at 60 during the day 50 at night hardly ever sick! We have redone roof,windows to be as efficient as possible.
On the college note I paid for 4 years of private school(undergrad St John Fisher) and graduate at Brockport,daughter paid for 2nd Master's at UofR with 30% scholarship she won because of grades.My advice is do whatever will leave as little debt as possible.In NY we have access to some of the best colleges including community colleges.Do what you have to and work as a team for the common goal Graduation with out tons of debt for either student or parents.I worked 2 jobs,she worked close to full time with weekends/summers/holidays and we paid CASH! it can be done with hard work.
I just went through this! I keep my heat low too and don't turn on my furnace until it gets 40 degrees or colder outside. My parents came to visit and complained that my house was too cold at 65! They are also the type of people who complain their heating bill is too high and keep their nighttime temperature so high in winter that we have to use ceiling fans in the bedrooms because it's so hot!
I gave them hot coffee and tea to warm them up. I also told my mom that she should put on a sweater - just like she would have told me to do when I was a teen!
Hey FG! I have a questionfor you. It's about bread baking...well the kneeding in particular. When you show pictures of turning out the dough before you start kneeding, it always looks so thin. Whenever mine is at that stage and I turn it out (on a WELL floured board) it is still so sticky that I can't do anything with it besides scrape it off the board into the trash (which breaks my heart & wallet). Any tips on what I'm missing here?