I'll take miscellany for $1000
1. About that "having it all" thing
As I was pondering this whole topic more and more, I've decided that "having it all" is really a poor way for me to put it. Because obviously, in choosing to devote more time to my kids and less to paid work, I don't really have it all.
What I do have is a life that I want, one that reflects my priorities.
So, when Zoe graduates, I might not be able to look back and say that I had it all, but hopefully I will look back and see years spent on things that matter most to me.
And hopefully I will have spent my time in a way that honors God.
Also, I know I mentioned this yesterday, but thank you so much for the calm, polite, thoughtful discussion on that post. You guys are lovely.
2. Heirlooms and hair bands
I am not delusional enough to think that elastic hair bands, no matter how fabulous, are going to be heirlooms.
But I do think they ought to last through more than a handful of ponytails, and I've been increasingly frustrated with how quickly our hairbands have been breaking.
So, in keeping with my heirloom philosophy, I bought these:
They're thick, no-fabric hair bands, and they seem to be really sturdy. Also, they don't fall out of our hair as easily as fabric bands. You do need to be a little careful when taking them out so as not to pull your hair, but they're not nearly as sticky as you might imagine.
I've only owned these for a few weeks, but so far, they're holding up great. I'll try to remember to report back in 6 months or a year to give you a more informed opinion.
3. Monthly Money
Every month, I put together a summary of what's going on in our finances...what we have in savings accounts, what bills are coming, how much money is going to be left over or not left over, and so on.
I wrote all about how I do this in an earlier post, so hop over there for more details.
If you're having trouble communicating about money with your spouse, I cannot recommend this highly enough. Preparing a monthly financial update for Mr. FG has been seriously life-changing for us. We found this practice to be especially helpful during times of financial difficulty when we really didn't want to talk about money. Being in the habit of doing it at least once a month keeps you talking in the hard times, which is exactly what you need to do.
Plus having it prepared as a document or email means that the other spouse can look at it at their leisure, digest it, and then discuss it later.
And that can make for happier financial talks.
I haven't read "the article" but I sure have read a lot of women bloggers talking about "the article". In my opinion I feel like I have it all, even though to many people it looks like I don't. Life is about choices and for now I choose to spend the bulk my time and energy on raising my family. Oh and thanks for the hair band suggestion, mine keep breaking in half if I tug just a bit too hard when trying to make the last loop to keep them tight. I will have to pick up the brand shown next time I am at the store.
I'm something of an unintentional connoisseur of hair ties. The Scunci no-slips are good. They aren't indestructible--I've snapped a bunch, but I have extremely thick hair--but they're sturdier than most of the other ones I've tried.
The main problem (mane problem!) I've had with them is that because they are sticky they will, like you said, rip out some of your hair when you pull them out, which doesn't hurt at all, but over time you get a big ball of hair wrapped around part of the band, which is kind of gross. But I think that being careful taking them out and pulling off any hair that does get stuck right away would prevent that.
I applaud you for not feeling pressured to have it "all". Since I'm quite a bit older and my kids are all grown and gone, I was a young mom right at the time this intense pressure started to be Superwoman and do everything, and do it perfectly. I decided to change "having it all" to "having all I want", and disregarded those who thought that was not enough. My kids remember macaroni arts and crafts at the kitchen table and cloud watching much more fondly than they would remember the latest jeans or shoes, and so do I.
Re Susan's response: Exactly! Some peoples aspirations/dreams are huge and ambitious, and others more modest, though no less important. Kristen, if you have all you want, then you Have It All.
I love the Scunci hairbands! My mother-in-law gave me a pack of them as a stocking stuffer two Christmases ago and the vast majority of them are still going strong. The only ones I've thrown away are the ones that the elastic sorta gave out on and they didn't grip very well after that. I've never actually snapped or broken one. I hope they work as well for you as they do for me!
I have Scunci hair bands that are really thick like that but are fabric, and in the past 6 months to a year, haven't had a single one break. And bonus - they don't tear your hair when you pull them out. 🙂
Okay...now you have me really confused. The title of your post the other day was that you don't want to "have it all." So, your number 2 on this list is totally consistent with that. No one in the world truly "has it all"--whatever that means--right??? It's like that "bloom where you're planted" saying...you can move your garden here and there a bit...but at the end of the day, I think the ones who bloom where they're planted are the happiest.
Well, at the end of that post I said I'd look back and think about how I had it all.
Of course, that's not the having it all that most people think of, though, and that's what I meant by the title of the other post.
It's just that after I thought about it more, I realized I couldn't really look back after Zoe graduates and say that I had it all, just that I had the life I wanted.
I don't know if that's any clearer!
I agree with you on the Scunci hairbands. And...you can get them on sale sometimes. Last week, they were buy one, get one at CVS. Just last week, I was thinking about how much money I've wasted on hair bands that didn't last. I bought them b/c they were just $1. Now, I'm more particular.
They also have other no-slip hair products - I really like the no-slip jaw clips.
I think I'll have to try those hair bands! My little girl has super fine hair that doesn't stay in a ponytail very well. ...and she loves pulling the bands back out, so having something more break-resistant would really help!
I have the opposite experience with hair elastic bands. I use them all the time, but they seem to multiply. I never buy them. Sometimes I'll find one or two when we are at the swimming pool or when I'm out for a walk. I just pick them up and bring them home and wash them. It seems a shame a just have them be litter on the street when someone can use them. My favorite hair elastics are the scrunchy fabric ones that are homemade. You just need a small scrap of material and a bit of elastic to make them and they are really easy on your hair, and you can size them to fit your own hair thickness which is great for me as two loops on a regular elastic is just a bit loose for my hair, but 3 is way too tight.
Re:hairbands. I got some at the Underarmour outlet. Can't say enough about them! A little pricy at the onset but SO long lasting. I have had the same one holding my ponytail for more than 6 months (almost every day)
I've been pondering the hair tie problem recently, too. I used to have a vintage bone hair stick but that fell on the floor and the tip broke. I've used a pencil instead, but it just isn't the same. I wanted an alternative.
Ribbons! You can braid them in and tie the ends so it doesn't fall off. Don't know how it would work for short hair though.
Those hair bands...I've had some for over two years without them breaking or the elastic snapping. They're some of the best I've found.