How do you handle tipping?
Bee wrote in, wanting to pick the collective brain of the Frugal Girl community about tipping!
Here's what she said:
I am curious how you and fellow blog members handle tipping. It seems that tips are requested nearly everywhere I go now. I used to have a good idea of what to tip and who to tip, but I am suddenly at a loss.
For example, I visited Panera last week when my refrigerator was out. I placed my order myself at the kiosk. I got my own drink and picked up my meal myself. I did not require any dishes. My table did not need to be bused or cleaned after I ate. Yet, after placing my order, a tip was requested.
When my refrigerator was delivered, there were 3 delivery men. How much should I have tipped them? How much do you tip the person that cuts your hair? The Barista? The complimentary valet? The Uber driver? The person who provides curbside service? Instacart? And so on.
I just read that DoorDash was going to rate the people that use their app by how well they tip. This is to help drivers determine if they want to make that run. I don’t use DoorDash, but I find this problematic. What is considered a good tip? Do you reward for service in advance? What if someone is rude or does a terrible job? I am also very curious if service people receive 100% of the tips given via credit cards and apps.
Any input would be greatly appreciated. Things have gotten so expensive. I want to reward good service, but I feel like everyone’s hand is out.
Boy, I feel your pain here.
As a person who wants to be kind and generous but also wants to avoid unnecessary spending, the current tipping climate here in the U.S. is a challenge.
I understand why so much tipping was added during Covid; restaurants were suffering, and wait staff didn't have any access to their usual tips, since no one was eating inside the restaurants. I supported this tipping effort!
But this temporary situation seems to have caused a tipping bleedover into...everything. And it's persisted even though most Covid restrictions are gone.
I wish tipping culture didn't exist
I really, really, really wish that tipping would be done away with entirely. I find it frustrating and confusing, and I dislike that it puts pressure on the customer to ensure that the employee is paid sufficiently.
I'd prefer for companies to just charge a price that allows them to compensate their employees fairly. That would simplify everything! We wouldn't be faced with this conundrum, and employees would still be paid an appropriate amount.
I know I've heard the argument that goes like, "Tipping ensures that people are motivated to give you good service." but that makes no sense to me. We don't tip, say, CPAs or plumbers, and we still have an expectation of appropriate service.
And I know tipping is supposed to be a pat on the back for really good service, but again, I don't think CPAs are tipped when they do a really good job, and neither are plumbers.
I'm certainly not going to be tipped for my work as a nurse, but I would hope there is still an expectation of high-quality work from nurses.
In short, tipping seems to be very inconsistent.
Tipping culture is probably not going away
Much as I wish for a change, I think tips are here to stay. So, the question is, how do we navigate this?
I don't know that there's a right answer, but here's what I do.
I don't usually tip when it's a self-serve experience
In Bee's Panera example, I would not feel obligated to tip.
I know wait staff is often paid a lower-than-usual hourly wage, with the expectation that tips will make up the difference, but if you pick up a Panera order that you placed online or at a kiosk, there's no wait staff involved. The service you received was the bare minimum; just food preparation.
In a case like that, a tip doesn't make sense to me.
I do tip in places where it's been a long-standing expectation
For example, for all of my life, I know hairdressers and waiters have been tipped. So, I still do that.
I avoid tipping-related services as a whole
I hate dealing with tips so much that I'd rather just avoid the whole scene if possible.
I'd rather drive myself than use an Uber. I'd rather pick up my own groceries/pizza/takeout than pay someone to do it and then also be expected to pay a tip on top of it.
And honestly, if I'm going out to eat, I generally prefer waiter-less restaurants. I'm not a very fancy person, and I'm happy picking my food up from the counter.
If I don't want to pay a tip, and tips are expected, then I think the best thing to do is to just not use the services. I'd rather not be a customer of these services than be a non-tipping customer!
I look at it a bit like charitable giving
No one (except maybe Jeff Bezos) can possibly give to every valuable cause that's out there. And if we let ourselves be eaten up with guilt every time we don't give a charitable donation, we will never feel peaceful.
That's how I view things like coffee shop tips; sometimes I add one, and sometimes I don't. It's a nice thing to do, but if I don't tip everyone everywhere all the time, I do not consider myself to be a bad person. 😉
How do you handle tipping?
And if you have insider info about how much of the tip actually makes it to the employee, do share!
The American tipping culture is out of control! Here in Norway waiters etc are paid a living wage and tipping is just a token (typically maybe 5 or 10% of your meal). You don't tip hairdressers or when you buy something from a fast food place. Many coffee shops here have also done away with the little tip jar of coins they used to have.
I hate that workers have to rely on tips to make a decent wage.
That is how I'd like it to be here! I want the company to be responsible for providing a living wage for their employees. And I want them to charge what is necessary to make that happen.
@SK,
the same here in Germany.
Decent wages including health insurance and social security.
We usually do tip the hairdresser though.
No tipping in any setting with self service.
Waiters in a restaurant are tipped usually and like in Norway something like 5 to 10 % - but it is up to the customer.
@Kristen,
Why does a 16 year old need to be paid a living wage while living at home, rent-free, groceries-paid for by parents, etc?
Some jobs are entry-level and not deserving of a living wage. Nevermind that if you pay fast food staff a living wage, how do you pay their managers more? The professional staff even more? The consumer will pay until the model can't be sustained.
Living wage would be location dependent as well.
My BIL is never married, no kids. His living wage needs in his 40s are different than my husband's who is also in 40s and had 3 minors and a wife to support.
The living wage argument makes no sense to me.
My friend lives in income based housing. She's been there 12 years. There's no inventive to move. It's 1/3 the cost of average rent. But without a limit on how long one can live there, she missed her chance to buy when houses were low, interest rates were low, and she was single and could have worked 3 jobs to pay bills. Now she has 2 kids in the same 500 sq ft 1 bedroom apartment. I'm constantly praying she will be able to financially escape. Age 35. Been in apartment since 23. No limits in state for occupancy.
@April, I'm afraid that whole ''you should be compensated based on your needs'' idea is a bit... unworkable, and also, who decides? The rate of pay should be linked to the job at hand, the level of skill and qualification, and yes, a sensible living wage, whether one is 16 (how do you know the situation of every teen restaurant worker? Do you really?) or 60.
One's life decisions around having kids, living wherever are unrelated to this. It's what used to be used to justify paying women less because ''you have a husband to support you / the man has a family ''to support'' and as then, it was entirely irrelevant.
@Caro, Cheers!
Here in New York, fast food is made by immigrants, not 16 year olds. They work hard--they deserve to make enough to live on.
Furthermore, April, your husband's living wage would be less if you worked. Or had fewer kids.
@Kristen, I wish this too.
@April,
I have noticed that fast food restaurants and entry level positions are no longer staffed by teenagers. I see many older people working. When I volunteered at the food pantry, many of the working poor had jobs such as this. This , of course, has added to my tipping dilemma.
@Caro, So accurate! I wish all teens were living at home rent free but too many of them are helping support the family for a myriad of reasons! Anecdotally I remember in the 70’s there was a gas shortage and cars would line up outside the stations and there was a strong sentiment that men should get the gas because after all they had jobs to go to! How do I know this? My dad owned a gas station!
@Caro, I couldn't agree more and you put it very well. Pay is (or should be) based on a job, not on a person or their situation. The assumption that a 16-year-old is living rent-free, etc. is misguided; I know a few teens myself who work after school and bring that money home to help their families. They shouldn't be paid less than an adult performing the same job. I remember my mother even saying how it was alright to pay women less because their husband was supporting them...Mom!?!?
I believe that a Christian school here also used to have that policy; if you were a married woman, you were paid less than a single woman. Something about being a "head of household". I believe it has changed now, but GEEZ.
@April,
Hi. At sixteen years old I was working full time and still in highschool. This wasn't for spending money. Every cent I earned went to my parents to pay bills, we were that poor.
By the time I was 17 I was in my own working two jobs to pay rent.
Though working an entry level job is looked down upon by many it's still a job.
@SK,
Same here. Decent wages are still the norm. Traditionally Taxi drivers (not ubers), restaurants receive a tip, sometimes hotel staff. 5% is enough.
However there are also new services such as supermarket home deliveries and cheap meal deliveries, that did not exist 10 years ago (if you go way back, 100 years, then the baker and greengrocer would always home deliver and expect no tip!). The meal services especially use very young people so they can go below the minimum wage, it is near exploitation. If we order food home deliveries (which is rare) we do not order through a multi-restaurant platform but directly phone the restaurant and order there. The delivery will be made by one of their regular employees and not by a 14 year old on a bike who drive too fast and do not mind the traffic because they are paid by the mile.
With regards to supermarket deliveries: the one we used regularly has increased the minimum amount you have to spend, and at the same time added the functionality to tip the person who does the delivery. I find this very frustrating. I am relying on companies to pay their employees decently and to receive a text message later "were you satisfied with our services? Do you want to tip the delivery person?" With a picture of that same person - I do not like that. It feels like pushing.
Hi April, Your fourth paragraph is a hard one. I would hate to be paid less for my work than a colleague who lives in a more expensive part of the country and is divorced paying alimony for instance, for the same work. Even worse: The motivation of having to support a family has been used for decades to pay men more than women, for the same jobs. Which is the reason that considered globally, with the pay gap there still is between men and women, you might say that women are now working the rest of this year for free.
@April, I agree with much of what you're saying. To expand on your thoughts, I'll add that I just don't feel that it's my responsibility, when I walk up to a fast food counter, to try to figure out whether the person waiting on me is making enough money to live on. If I had to bear that weight every time I walked into a business then I'd bleed my own resources dry. It's too much responsibility on me to wonder if the 16 year old is doing this job to help their family who needs the income or if the 60 year old is doing this job as a retirement job just to get out of the house. (I live in a 55+ retirement community and, yes, I know several older people who have taken jobs for exactly that reason!) I also don't think it should be the consumer's responsibility to compensate a person who has an entry level job. It's entry level for a reason. I could never expect to walk into a law office with no law degree and apply to be a lawyer in their firm any more than I could expect to walk into a HVAC office with no experience expecting to work on furnaces and a/c units when I'm not qualified. Therefore, I'd have to take an entry level position and accept what they pay me or move on to the next option. The next option could potentially be applying for college, law school, etc. OR pick a different job. I'm upset by the tipping expectations here and I, like Kristen, tend to avoid situations that put me in the uncomfortable position to decide if I have to tip. But I think it's sad that things gotten so out of hand that I'm avoiding going places because I don't want to face a 16 year old and hit the "no tip" button. And none of this addresses how poor the customer service in this country has gotten. Why are we tipping when people aren't being properly trained to handle customers or customer issues appropriately?
@April, employers for teens DO NOT HAVE TO PAY MINIMUM WAGE. My teen worked for employer that only paid under $4/hour & after 90 days $0.25-$0.50/hour raise. Once turns 18 & out of high school (HS need work permit) have to pay adleast minimum wage. Granted not all employers pay teens such low wages, but is very common. Teen makes more $$ doing independent work (neighbors) & is tax free.
Teen usually work to save $$ for items saving for (vehicle/prom/college/first apt) & parents can not/do not provide. The fact that they work for $$ for service/job it doesn't matter what (possible) living exspenses are. Doing job needed to earn $$ is better than expecting others to provide everything for you which has become common.
@April, unfortunately not every 16 year old has parents that take care of their basic needs. Many teens are using their income to help their families. Many are using it to save for college. I fully support making sure they are paid decently.
@Caro, April wasn't advocating for people to be paid according to need. She was pointing out that the "living wage" argument makes no sense. She was pointing out that what constitutes a living wage from person to person is different. On top of that, minimum wage prices unskilled labor out of the market. If companies could pay unskilled labor a wage commensurate with their skills, that would allow the person to acquire the skills needed to go and provide his own living wage (through starting his own business or through gaining a more skilled position) rather than relying on the government to provide it for him through endless legislation. It allows for more self-respect as well. If I build my own life, block by block, as I see fit, I will be a person who has more self reliance, self respect, grit and confidence than one who again relies on the government for this hand out or that hand out. When does it stop? At some point we all become goldfish swimming around in our bowls waiting for our daily allotment rather than masters of our own destiny.
@RVSarah, amen
@RVSarah, my thoughts exactly
@Regina, that's not right! Here in Canada there is a minimum wage by provinces, regardless of age. I didn't know this was different in the US (you are in the US?)
@Isa, there is also a federal and state minimum wage in the U.S.
@April, not all fast food workers are teens living at home. Look around in my town and you will see adults and older adults in many fast food venues. Some are working a second or even third job to make ends meet. It's not fair to characterize all fast food workers as teens living at home off their parents.
People in low-income housing are penalized for saving money (HUD, for example, imputes income to assets and this increases the rent), so it's very difficult to save enough for a down-payment in this area where the housing costs are astronomical--even when the market is down. People who are reliant on Medicaid for health insurance (many of whom work full-time and are still below the poverty level) in most states cannot have more than $2000 in their name--there's absolutely no way to save enough money for better housing, and in many cases if they get a better paying job without benefits (or benefits only for the worker, not the family) they may lose medical coverage all together.
Nothing is as simple as the sound bytes make it seem.
@SK,
Yes, I think tipping is an American thing. I don't know all cultures, but from my experience tipping seems more prevelant in the US.
@Christine,
Thank you.
You thoroughly explained my desired point.
@Caro, Agreed. There are some rules of thumb for what's a living wage. If you say "why does a 16 year old need one?" you might as well ask why a married woman needs one when her husband will of course earn more. ProTip: paying people this way is unconstitutional and unconscionable.
@Isa, Yes, we live in Michigan. I did not realize this until teen got summer job (not neighbors). I questioned this & found out this pay scale for teens is not only legal but very much used. Summers can work 40 hours, but not after certain night time & during school year only 20 hours week after 3pm weekdays.
@RVSarah,
Agree!
@Lea, same here. I do tip and try to tip generously because it makes me feel richer to give. But I never feel obliged because in this country employees are paid a living wage.
@Caro, agree 100%. When I was a teenage waitress, 16-20, I
way back when, I was supporting myself for various reasons- paying my own apartment rent, food, car. Tips were great, because I worked hard to give great service. If people had assumed my parents paid my expenses I would have had to have 3 jobs instead of 2, or look for other financial opportunities. Regardless of that, if I did not give great service to customers, I should not have received the tips I did, don’t we all agree?
@SK, I agree!
@April, maybe if you actually worked, your husband's wage needs would be lower. I fail to see how someone who doesn't work even gets a vote on what another person's wage needs are.
@April, spot on. In a free market, skilled laborers whose wages don't meet their needs are free to take a different job that does. Minimum wage just cuts off the lower skilled jobs that allow newer workers to gain the experience to supply more valuable labor. Teens having the opportunity to work is a good thing. Making it too expensive to employ teens just makes everything more expensive for everyone. (Is our market free? No, it's captive to government regulation supported by the big corporations wealthy enough to operate with it.)
@Beth, also I think it's bizarre how many people thought that saying "a living wage depends on your living situation," means it's the employer's role to assess that. Nonsense. Workers decide which jobs to take and how to live in this country, at least so far! A worker who doesn't like the pay should find a better job. If, however, flexibility is worth low pay, as is often the case for gig workers, it stands to reason that they'll tolerate it.
The way you do things Kristen sounds like me. I've never wanted pizza delivered because I didn't want to deal with a tip. But now if I go pick one up, my husband tells me to be sure and tip them. Why!? And then places have those credit card readers that give you suggested tip amounts. Why?! I'm just getting an ice cream cone. I've always tipped my hair stylist, but I've read that if they work for themselves, then it's not necessary. My stylist rents her booth, but I wouldn't dream of not tipping her, even though she gets $30 for my 30 minute haircut. Not bad wages.
@Mary Ann, Yes, but she probably pays $400 for the booth. Plus shampoo, etc.
Here in New York, everyone is tipped or expects to be tipped generously all the time. Including plumbers.
@Rose, I remember the first time I heard a friend from high school describe all the people she was expected to tip at the holidays and that was probably when I decided I could never live in NYC!
@Rose, it's much less expected here in rural America! Most people don't expect it because most customers can't afford it.
I tip pretty much all service workers if they serve me in some way. I did get into an argument with a friend about whether to tip for take out. I put my foot down and I won't; she thinks I should.
I'm also not tipping the people theoretically bringing me heat today because I hate them and $27,750 is too much as it is.
By the way, my son used to be a waiter in the Hamptons. He cleaned up on tips, and most celebrities he served were very nice and tipped well.
@Rose, Florida is like that too. Perhaps, it’s the influx of all the New Yorkers. 🙂
@Rose, Wow! Just wow. I thought I was being a good customer by offering the furnace guy a hot drink on a cold Alaskan day, or a cold pop in the summer. I have never heard of plumbers being tipped. Good incentive for sticking to an outhouse, like so many people around here do.
Like you I avoid situations now just because of the tipping dilemma.
We used to order pizza delivery and we tipped. Then they added a service fee and then they added a gas fee. We said that's it. We went to a pizza restaurant. Now on Mondays our grocery store has a cooked pizza special. And the pizza is so good for so reasonable.
We have used them long enough the young man knows us. My husband then said he does such a good job should we be tipping him. I said here we go. Another problem can you tip a grocery store worker?? I always thank him and complement him on his great pizza making.
@karen, You sure can! My friend always tips the guy making him a sandwich in a deli, which is why my friend's sandwiches can double as doorstops.
@karen, You could offer to buy the pizza-maker a drink or a snack. I did that during the pandemic, asking the check-out staff if I could buy them a drink or a snack.
I think tipping should be FOR SERVICE, no service, no tip. I dislike pre-tipping, say on a WM delivery order, because I don't know if the service will be good or bad. You can add a tip afterwards, which is what I do. My nephew is going on a cruise and he was appalled that you could "pre-tip" at a discounted rate a certain number of days before the cruise, after that it was a "full price tip" whatever that is. I consider myself to be a generous person, but when I feel made to give a tip, that doesn't feel generous, it feels like a duty or obligation. (Like if you eat at a sit-down restaurant and they hand you the computer with the suggested tip and the waitress is right there looking over your shoulder.) I enjoy giving to others secretly so they don't know and tipping everywhere all the time is just uncomfortable. At Publix, the staff is not allowed to take tips and they are some of the kindest, most friendly people anywhere, so I don't think that tipping necessarily makes for a pleasant work environment and faithful employees.
@Deb,
It is true that Publix (Florida-based grocery store) employees are not supposed to accept tips. However, they are very well compensated. Along with an above average hourly wage, they receive healthcare, pensions and profit sharing.
By being asked to tip ahead, I feel like you are being asked to pay for adequate service. You may offer a sizable tip, but someone next to you offered a larger one. Therefore, he receives better service. This just makes my head hurt!
@Deb, The automatic 18% gratuity added for parties of 6 or more at restaurants grates on me. Normally I’m a 20% tipper regardless of service (just because it’s hard out there and I can afford it) but I want it to be my choice not my obligation!
@Sue,
A group of us church ladies go out to eat once a month. At the last restaurant, they added the surcharge for a large group AND the bill had a "suggested tip amount" on top of that. Several of us decided not to tip additionally, as we were already being charged a mandatory tip. The gall of that restaurant manager! Needless to say, we probably won't go back to that eatery!
@Sue, That's an old rule and based on the well-established fact that large groups don't tip well or at all, and sometimes don't even pay all of the bill.
That was then, when a table had to pay on a single bill. Now that there's good enough tech to bill each person separately, the tip-stiffing is not so much of an issue and the large group = automatic tip rule should go by the wayside.
I don’t go out to eat often. IF I do it is often to a self service venue or I pick up some food like a breakfast burrito.No tipping. I find that sit down restaurants, in my area, play REALLY LOUD rock music during lunch hour, so I even stopped “doing lunch” with a couple of friends who enjoy doing that every single week.We could not even have a conversation, then the tip was expected for “good service??” I like to ENJOY my food..at home I make a nice table, sometimes I light candles at dinner, I play my choice of music, and no one calls me “you guys.”! I just don’t find the dining out experience to be worth it,mostly, and then THE TIP!! I prefer to make lunch FOR my friends and invite them over.
Hair stylist: I have a woman I love and I keep my hair trimmed every 7 weeks. A good haircut/style is one of my personal splurges. I do tip her well, she always makes time for me, even when she is super busy and I may have had to cancel due to a cold or a trip..I value her immensely and she does an AWESOME job, and it is so obvious she LOVES her work. I am very loyal and havebeen with her for years. ALL THAT’S worth a tip,every time.
Delivery people, my husband always tips them. But we don’t get many deliveries.I think last delivery, we got a washer back in April of 2020, when covid was happening.. OF COURSE my washer broke then!!
I don’t generally feel “obligated” but it IS annoying to have to spin around the payment thingy and see it asking for a tip all the time!
@Madeline,
Do you pay your stylist a percentage or a flat rate? Do you mind sharing the amount or percentage.
@Bee, you didn't ask me, but here is my two cents on stylists. I always heard that you didn't tip stylists who owned the salon or who worked for themselves, but I'm under the impression that most work for themselves these days. I tip mine 20 per cent. I always get my hair colored so the cost is substantial and so is the tip.
At self service, we usually don't tip but sometimes we do.
I, too, remember the argument that men should be paid more because they were supporting families. It always burned me up because we all know that since the beginning of time there have been plenty of women who supportd families. Like widows and abandoned women?
@Anne,
And wives of husbands with a disability. And single women. We have all the categories you mention in my family.
I’ve seen articles this year that some restaurants are adding “service fees,” which aren’t tips, and then expecting tips on top! And the “service fees” aren’t clearly defined as to purpose or recipients.
People are accustomed to lower menu prices. They would get sticker shock if restaurants charged enough to fully pay workers (much less give them any benefits).
@DCO,
Restaurants are doing this more often. Many are also starting to add the 3% convenience fee for credit card usage. I think high food costs, along with smaller lunch time crowds in cities, are making it difficult for these businesses to stay afloat.
@Bee,
Also businesses are getting gouged on credit card swipe fees.
@Andria, My business also. Banks and cc companies are the only ones benefiting. The fees are passed on to the consumer one way or another. Sadly too credit card charge backs can hurt. They have done away with signature but the small business person has to have proof that you took delivery on an item.
@Bee, many places are adding % credit card fee (I would say 3% as that is what credit card companies charge (as breakdown on lowest monthly charges) but have seen as high as 10% (& yes I was forced to pay it unknowingly until afterwards).
Our utility company (very large multiple states) just started adding $2.99 credit card fee for each transaction or link bank account (online since closed all payment centers at covid & decided to keep closed).
Yet I am constantly hearing that government/banks considering taking away cash/coins & going to strictly bank/credit cards (which costs more $$ for customers).
I hate tipping, too. It gives me terrible anxiety that I'm doing the math incorrectly! Because we eat out so rarely, my husband and I both tend to give large tips like around 25 or 30 percent of the bill, but we also tend to stay longer at a restaurant than usual because we only go once or twice a year. In other situations, I either avoid the service like I cut everyone's hair here, our children are homeschooled and I do my own yardwork and housework. I also decline giving a tip when I'm prompted to picking up takeout. On the rare occasion that we have service done to the house, like a handyman or an appliance delivered, we tend to offer food or drinks instead of cash which I just rarely ever have on hand. Incidentally, I also don't do Christmas cards. I find it to be too stressful and not worth the time and effort.
@Becca, it's easy to figure out a 15 or 20 percent tip. Move the decimal place over one. Then you have 10%. Add either half that amount for 15% or double for 20%.
So if dinner is $46, 10% is 4.6. 20% is about $9 or 15% is about $7.
As a rule, I don't tip. At a restaurant (in the rare case of a waitstaff restaurant) I opt for 15% or so. Lately waitstaff are doing the absolute bare minimum so let their employer make up the difference. Of course for great service I will tip a little more.
For take out. No tip.
When they turn around the iPad for you to tip: No Tip
Five Guys: No tip (they asked for a tip when I only bought a soda)
Sandwich place: No tip
Panera: No tip
I don't do delivery - ever. Door Dash and Uber Eats are not a thing I ever do. I don't take taxis or Ubers either.
My barber I do tip heavily. She is a very hot woman and I like a lot about her so I spoil her a bit.
(In case it's not obvious, my wife cuts my hair 😉 )
@Battra92,
So glad you added the clarification at the end because I was like "whoa! Why did battra get so uncharacteristically gross all of a sudden?" Haha!
@Becca, I thought that too!
@Battra92, "Lately waitstaff are doing the absolute bare minimum so let their employer make up the difference."
is really unfortunate and cheap. Rest assured, it's not the waitstaff's fault the restaurant is understaffed and rest assured their employer won't make it up to them.
Minimum wage for tipped workers remains $2.13 an hour in the US. Would you work for that? If you're going to take out your annoyance on waitstaff, STAY HOME.
@Battra92, Very funny, I was quite surprised until I read the whole sentence!
@Battra92, you got me there. Thanks for the laugh.
@Battra92,
😀 You probably have great coffee too during the haircut. and your favourite music on!
@Battra92, your policies sound so logical. Great comment!
@Becca, I had that immediate thought as well! Glad he clarified before he was verbally tarred and feathered.
@Rose, agreed, there's a big difference between frugal and cheap. Not tipping decently at a restaurant crosses into cheap.
Tip when you FEEL it! By that I mean when the service person touches you (emotionally) in some way and not because of obligation. I ignore the tip line on credit card readers and never feel guilty. Same with tip jars in ice cream stores and pickup restaurants. I usually tip when I get a haircut which is a rare occurrence for me. When delivery or service people come to my home, I offer them a bottle of water and a snack. I don't use food or grocery delivery or uber so can't help you there.
All that being said, I do tip someone for excellent service or special kindness. Last summer, I tipped the gutter cleaner $20 in addition to water and popsicles because he did a wonderful job in 100° heat. And we tipped our drywall guy when he had to make a return trip through no fault of his own.
@Bobi, PS you didn't mention hotel housekeepers, but we always tip them!
@Bobi,
I always tip hotel cleaning staff as well. And make sure I've cleaned up and taken out the trash.
@April, I will tidy the room, put the towels in the tub, wipe down the bathroom counter, organize everything, and then leave a nice tip.
Hotel cleaners deserve it!
Tipping isn't as prevalent here in Ireland, thankfully. I would certainly tip a waiter/waitress in a restaurant but only if service charge isn't included in the bill. But definitely no tipping in self-service cafes or for take-away. I definitely tip my hairdresser too - she's worth it!
Because we are generally frugal we tip generously in some situations. I always leave $20 for the hotel housekeeper even though we don't leave the room dirty or disgusting. They do a job I would not want to do and I don't believe they are well paid. I tip my haircutter very well since she is an independent service provider (rents a chair). When eating at a quick casual place or picking up a to go order I add a small tip ($1-$3 per meal) and ignore the suggested percentage amounts. When dining in a place with wait staff I do tip 20%+. All of these are situations I do not encounter every day as we usually eat at home or pack food for on the go. I tip delivery people $10/person (more if it a big delivery like lumber and mulch) and during the pandemic when I was picking up groceries I would tip $10 per pickup. I was grateful the employees were working and I knew they were not making big bucks but were coming to work every day. Over the past few years I have come to understand that the lowest paid people often have the most challenging jobs physically and that in general they are not properly compensated for the work and risks they endure. I try to mitigate that somewhat with tipping.
@K D,
For your hotel housekeeper, do you leave $20 a visit or per day? I used to leave $5 per day, but we no longer have daily service in most of the hotels that we stay in. Another post-covid development.
@Bee, We leave $5 per day for hotel house keepers. They are always, always, always women and it's a job I would not want to do.
@Bee,
We only usually stay one or two nights and do not have the room cleaned while we are there.
@Anne, And these days they are often people with accents that indicate English is not their first language. I remember how poorly some people treated my father, a man with a doctorate who spoke at least four languages, merely because he had a heavy accent when he spoke English. I also knew many, many people in our immigrant ghetto that were doctors and lawyers and professors before the world blew up in Europe, but had to take jobs as taxi drivers or house cleaners when they came to this country. If you serve me and have an accent, I will leave a larger tip and as cash in your hand so they don't get screwed over.
In general, I'm with Kristen and others on this one: I tip in situations where I tipped before COVID (my rare haircuts, my rare visits to waitstaff restaurants, etc.), and I've cut back on situations that I no longer use post-COVID (pizza delivery, etc.).
But here are two issues that I'd like some feedback on. First, I don't tip my U.S. mail carrier, whom I regard as a federal employee who should not need tipping. Second, I have not tipped my current local newspaper carrier in some time because of lousy service: He can't seem to get the paper beyond the ends of our driveways, despite my repeated requests on my own behalf and that of elderly or disabled neighbors. (He also has the world's loudest engine, and I don't think he'd buy a muffler even if I tipped him; he seems to like it that way.) Do both of these make me Hard-Hearted Hannah?
@A. Marie, I asked my mail carrier and he said they aren’t allowed to accept tips. I give him a box of homemade cookies at Christmas. He always pets my dog.
As for people who come into my house, such as plumbers, electricians, I have to confess it never ever has occurred to me to tip.
@A. Marie, I agree with you on both counts! Also I never seem to get the same mail person twice in a row not to mention at least once a month I re deliver mail to my house number twin one street over or neighbors, I shudder to think who’s getting MY mail. I understand mistakes are human and never complain but it doesn’t feel like I even know the mail deliverer. I do remember my parents would gift the mail person something at Christmas time but that’s when you had the same person for life. That’s also when you got your newspaper “delivered” instead of flung out of a car window! Ring ring, the 1950’s are calling me!
@Susan H., We do a countdown to Christmas for our mail carrier. We leave a small treat and a funny, encouraging note (Only 5 more days, you got this!) in our mailbox for the last week or so before the holiday. He told us it really gives him something to look forward to on his route.
@Sue,
Same here, I don't have one mail carrier. Other side of that is what A. Marie said, they are federal employees and I don't think they can accept tips. I don't even leave cookies or anything, though, because it may be some random, surly substitute who gets the treat, not the usual carrier/carriers.
If you'd ever, in spite of a paved parking pad connecting to a paved walk leading straight to the front door, had your mail left on top of your car or the hood of your husband's SUV, or had it left on the handicap ramp, or on the ground at the back yard gate or on the steps in the rain when putting it under the porch roof was literally just one more step up, then you would know why I'm not interested in leaving a treat when I don't know who will receive it.
@A. Marie,
Hi! For our mail carrier I get a gift card from the local coffee shop (privately owned..no mermaids here) along with a card saying thanks. Sometimes I'll give a set of mittens as well.
No suggestions for obnoxious newspaper guy.
@A. Marie,
Standing up for yourself is not hard-hearted. And I believe that U.S. Postal Service employees are VERY well compensated, and probably make more money than I do.
@JD,
If the mail carrier left mail where it got wet and damaged, I'd call the post office and ask to speak with the postmaster there. If that doesn't result in any improvement, try calling your Congressional representative's office. They can achieve miracles just by making one phone call on your behalf. Federal employees don't want to get in trouble with the Congressman (or -woman).
@Susan H., US postal employees are not allowed to accept anything over $20 for gifts & never cash. I give $20:gift to main mail person & smaller $10 gift to part time carrier & post office clerks in post office (I mail packages regularly) usually get large treat tray.... which is enjoyed. 🙂
@A. Marie, Your paper carrier is light years above the ones we had, and why we were forced to cancel. The Sunday paper especially either came midday or never. We like to read it over breakfast or thereabouts. We called to ask for delivery as per their instructions, eventually complained specifically, but nothing changed.
Our solution: digital newspapers. Always there, first thing. And, cheaper!
Ironically, our elder son was Paper Carrier of the Year for our district and was flown to a ceremony/lunch for all winners in PA to receive plaques. Guest speaker was Mr. Rogers, whom we all admired.
@Fru-gal Lisa,
I called the postmistress at the time it happened, and she said they had no way to know who did it. They had no way to know who worked the mail route that day? Sure, sure. I admit I just dropped it after that. It didn't get ruined - by good fortune it had a plastic wrapper inside the wet cardboard box.
@A. Marie, I'd say postal person tipping depends on whether you actually *know* them vs. just recognizing them. When we lived in the city, we had the same mail carrier for eight or so years. Once he knew our car and that I worked at home, he'd ring the doorbell to let me know we had a package rather than letting it sit on the porch. (Our apartment building was in a converted house, so there was no secured mail spot.) He also rescued several packages of ours that FedEx delivered incorrectly, as he'd recognize our name on a box that had been left several streets away but thankfully still on his route. V. even rang the bell to tell me when he had received a new route and to thank us for always being so pleasant. We tipped at Christmas time--I'd leave a "thank you" note and a gift card to a nearby local coffee shop so he could grab something warm. After he left, our route became "Who can't find where we live today?" mail carrier roulette, and so tipping ceased. I sincerely hope that V. is doing well wherever he is, as he was awesome! Just a genuinely nice person.
@Bobi, I love this! I'm glad that moving has given us a chance to know our postal person again and have been thinking about what to do for her.
@Sue and everyone else, thanks for the replies. Long ago (and I'm talking decades by now), we had one of those mail carriers everyone loved and tipped. He knew everybody on the street and really took an interest; in fact, he was responsible for reporting a death a few streets over, after he noticed that mail was piling up at an elderly person's house.
But Shawn is long gone, and we've had a revolving cast of inadequate replacements--which is why I've adopted the "federal employee" rationale. Our current semi-regular guy is a sourpuss who can rarely be bothered to take out his earbuds to answer a question, and his frequent substitutes are much as Sue and JD describe their carriers.
As for the newspaper carrier, I'm honestly on the verge of canceling my hard-copy subscription and going digital-only as well. Not only am I dissatisfied with the delivery, but the subscription cost just went up again.
@Erika JS, How nice that your son was a stellar paper carrier! Back when kids delivered our papers, we always tipped, but only what we could afford. I guess it was enough because one day a few years back, a state police car pulled over while we were walking and the officer said, "do you remember me?" We were like, sorry, no, and that's when he told us he was once our paper boy and remembered us because we were so nice and tipped him well. We were amazed.
@A. Marie, If I could guarantee my preferred mail carrier would get a tip, I would, but I also get a lot of different carriers.
I would not tip your newspaper carrier if they are so terrible. Don't reward a bad job!
I had a mail carrier at an old address (a house that had been converted into 3 apartments) and ours was the last house on her route so some days she would just skip us and I would get a bundle of mail on Saturday with all the week's mail including the grocery ads that typically come mid-week in my town. This was back when Netflix sent out CDs and I had so many CDs arrive broken. After I moved, I never had another one, so I think she intentionally broke them. She also literally yelled at me because someone sent something I had to sign for and she had to walk around the back of the house to where the door to my apartment was located. She told me it wasn't her job to find my apartment (all the boxes were at the front of the house) and I better not have anyone send me something that had to be signed for again because she would just leave it at the post office for me to pick up. Also, she never would pick up the outgoing mail and when my neighbor called to complain, she was told that it is the postal carrier's job to deliver the mail, and they can pick it up as courtesy but they didn't have to. What? Needless to say we never tipped her. Haha.
@A. Marie, rural route drivers put in a contract bid and then if they get the route, they are paid just what they bid. They are not employees.
@Susan H., Most people who come to my house don't get tipped either. The ones I routinely tip are movers, painters, and the guy who's helping my decorate my home who's been working so damn hard to help me get it done. People who work outside during the heat get cold drinks, ice, and exhortations to stay safe and take a break in the air conditioning if they want it.
@N, our mail carrier was part of our neighborhood family. We adored her. Many years of a really wonderful relationship.
She passed away unexpectedly earlier this year. We were all heartbroken.
@Sue, We tip our mail guy because I know from several old people in this neighborhood that if someone he is used to seeing suddenly doesn't show and the mail is piling up, he will try yelling for them to come to the door. If that does not work, he will ask someone else who lives nearby if they know where so and so is. If no one does, he will call the police and ask for a welfare check. But our mail guy has had this same route for years now, so he is known to all of us. It helps that Christmas is some of our coldest weather so I always feel sorry for him trudging from house to house. I give him a gift card to the nearby coffee kiosk.
@Lorraine, we lived in a condo for about 5 years and the outgoing mail would never be picked up. The residents complained and were also told by the post office that they were only required to deliver mail and not pick up. I find that ridiculous and completely unacceptable. Luckily we didn't often mail things but when we needed to I'd have to walk to the post office. That's not possible for many people, so it would be a huge issue to just mail a simple letter. As others have stated, postal employees are paid well, and everywhere else I've lived they have picked up outgoing mail along with delivering.
@Fru-gal Lisa, post offices around here don’t have phone numbers anymore! There’s an 800 number for the US Postal Service listed, and no one answers that. We used to automatically know our postmaster and letter carriers, garbage men, etc. but now it takes great effort.
@WilliamB, I’m still surprised at having to tip people who charge for a particular job. Of course, I have water and ice available; however, very often they have their own. This is really interesting. Back in the long-ago day I tipped the kid who carried my groceries to the car. And I do tip waitstaff well; pretty sure they need it. Haven’t encountered a rude person in a long time.
What a fascinating discussion.
I try not to go to tippable places other than the hairdresser and my dogs groomer semi regularly. I tip 30 percent at both places because both have been in my life for YEARS.
We are not very fancy so we mostly eat at home or the occasional self serve place.
@Stephanie, Ditto! And my dog goes to her stylist more often than I go to mine.
I have a very similar approach to you, Kristen. I dislike tipping immensely, and I also understand that most delivery drivers and waitstaff are really struggling and want to be generous.
I tip waitstaff at sit-down restaurants, cab-drivers and Uber drivers, hairdressers (unless they're the business owner,) and that's it, pretty much. We canceled our paper delivery, since we read the online version anyway. Delivery food has gotten so expensive/unreliable (and the business model so exploitative) that we no longer order it.
We do give a generous cash gift to our daycare workers at Christmas, which I guess would be like a tip*. It's more than we spend on anyone else, to be honest, but we value their services immensely and they are not paid enough. We used to give Starbucks cards to the concierges at our building at New Year's, but management changed and now the staff rotate in and our very quickly.
*I don't care if this is gauche. The YMCA sends home a polite suggestion of gifts that daycare workers enjoy, like gift cards to Bath and Body Works or mugs, and we just thought, in a recession? Cash in an envelope. You can spend it on anything.
@Meira@meirathebear, Back in the day, in one office we let our receptionist go. My manager, who was very sweet but rich and clueless, asked me if I thought a silver frame from Tiffany's would be a good parting gift. I said, "Are you literally insane? Cash. Envelope." Later a coworker said to me, "Thank goodness you said it. You were the only one he'd listen to."
@Meira@meirathebear, I have always felt this way about giving cash! Who doesn’t prefer cash? Some people say no thought goes into it but believe me A LOT of thought goes towards imagining the person being able to choose what they really want to do with the money!
@Sue, PS: I rarely comment and certainly never as much as this post but I wanted to add thank you Bee for asking and Kristen for the forum,
@Meira@meirathebear, I might be offending people when I say this, but pretty much no one in America needs another coffee mug. I smile,bit I hate it when I get one.
@Meira@meirathebear, Daycare workers are some of the most underappreciated and underpaid workers on the planet. Good for you!
@Anne, Not offending me! I almost feel like they should stop making them. I volunteer for a non-profit and we sell ones with our logo for a whopping $26, and yes, people buy them!
@Anne,
YES. So many mugs end up at the thrift store.
Whenever we participate in a secret Santa gift exchange I write “please no mugs”
I do carry out pizza to avoid all the extra charges and tips. It more than doubles the price to get it delivered!!
I tip at least 20% in a restaurant and at my hair stylist. But that’s about it. I don’t tip in carry out situations. They make a much better hourly rate than servers, and I’m doing most of the serving myself.
We have tipped on cruises/vacations for excursions or tours, etc. I have never tipped appliance delivery people or housekeeping at a hotel. It just never even occurred to me. We also never leave the room a horrible mess. I will gather trash, etc. together before I leave.
I guess I tip in situations where they are making a laughable hourly wage (like $2/hour for servers— I was one in college).
Otherwise, if it’s a questionable tipping scenario, I don’t unless someone went above and beyond, and I’m moved to show appreciation.
@Tara, adding— I will often ask the employee if they get all their tips if it’s an iffy situation.
I’m also sensitive to commission based jobs. If someone helps me, but I’m coming back later to purchase, I always ask about that to be sure they get paid for their time spent with me. I’m a Realtor, though, so I understand how you can often work for free if people don’t understand how you get paid.
This is ... a sensitive topic for me, and I hope my comments are treated with respect.
I work at a small, locally-owned coffee shop. Tips are how my fellow baristas (there are 7 of us) are able to live. Like, actually live - in the neighborhood where we work, with health care (purchased on the health care exchange, woohoo!), able to afford groceries and being in wedding parties and playing in a band and continuing in school and taking trips to see family. Tips literally double our take home pay - most weeks I look at my paychecks and the tips are more than the base pay. And base pay is $9 an hour, so not quite the minimum wage, but not the server wage, either. We are skilled employees who take a lot of pride in the drinks we make. And we work really hard. We stopped accepting cash during covid and went only to square for taking payment and tips - and our tips became much, much better.
Do I know the regulars who tip and the regulars who don't? You bet. Do I remember the regular who asked one holiday season how we split tips and then gave us a very-generous amount to recognize that? Of course. Do I also remember the individual who called back after he went home to tell us it was the best iced latte he'd had in years? Absolutely - and we all cheered the barista who had made that drink.
It is nice to be appreciated with words. It is also nice to be appreciated with tips.
Also, I have always tipped the bartender, at least $1 a drink. Why wouldn't I do that for my barista?
Big businesses, like fast food chains? No, I don't tip. They have giant signs advertising their hourly wage and benefits. Coffee shops, even if they are a big chain? Yes. Because I recognize how skilled that job really is. I know this particular opinion is a bit inconsistent. Perhaps that is a reflection of how confusing this topic is.
Small businesses? Yes, I tip. I want people who work in my neighborhood to be able to live here. I want to recognize the full cost of something, even if it's not priced on the menu. I want to signal to the employees that I appreciate them.
Do I wish the U.S. didn't have this culture? Yes. Do I REALLY wish it wasn't expanding? Yes. But if I can afford to go somewhere, I can afford to tip. If I can't afford to tip, I can't afford to get the item - and that's ok. I can choose not to order grocery delivery, or to get my nails done, or hire out something, and that's what most of the readers here will do.
And with all that said, I'm off to prep the shop for our annual Black Friday and Small Business Saturday sale. Please be kind!
(P.S. Kristen asked how much of the tips make it to employees. For us, if we're clocked in, no matter what we're doing - making drinks, taking orders, washing dishes, prepping beans, whatever - we split the tips that come in. So all of the tips make it to the employees, the owner is not taking anything off the top. I obviously can't speak to literally any other place.)
That's a good point too; I am more inclined to tip at a small business than at a large corporation.
Thank you for sharing an inside look!
@Molly,
This!
Where's the like button??
@Molly, thank you for your comment. It's rather sad that the rude commenters don't ask others to be kind yet you had to ask for kindness for your thougtful comment. I'll remember what you said and adjust my tipping habits accordingly. Your customers are lucky to have you!
@Molly, I forgot to mention that our manager (who is wonderful) reminds us that there is nothing wrong with asking to be paid. Often people just don't see the tip screen; I'm trying to get better about saying something about it because when people don't tip, it doesn't just affect me, it also affects everyone else who is working with me.
@Farhana,
Our customers are wonderful. We often have people who come in, have been ordering our coffee online for years, and are just so excited to finally be in the shop itself. I would not want to work for any other coffee shop (and we have baristas who have worked at the big chains!).
And my "please be kind" is also a gentle reminder that Black Friday/Small Business Saturday are our busiest days of the year. We are indeed working very hard to take care of our customers, but there's a lot of them!
@April B, Thank you!
@Kristen, It says something about this community that I felt like I could comment here about this topic. I would NOT be willing to do so anywhere else!
@Molly,
Thank you for giving us another perspective. My son worked part-time as a barista when living in San Francisco. The tips he received were important to his survival. Some of his customers were very kind and recognized this.
@Molly,
`` forgot to mention that our manager (who is wonderful) reminds us that there is nothing wrong with asking to be paid. Often people just don’t see the tip screen; I’m trying to get better about saying something about it because when people don’t tip, it doesn’t just affect me, it also affects everyone else who is working with me.``
wow... no. Just.... no. No one should be asked a tip by you or any of your coworker. This is SO rude and self-entitled. Let the customer decide for themselves. Guilt trip x 10000 right here
Isa, I just want to gently say that it's fine to disagree with others about the topic of tipping, but it would be better to refrain from making judgmental comments about another reader's approach. Telling Molly that her approach is "so rude and self-entitled" is not conducive to helpful discussion, especially when she specifically asked for kindness in her comment.
@Isa,
I hope you meant this comment as a kind one, as I have shared my experience and perspective to open people's eyes.
@Isa, I'm with you on the bad etiquette of asking for a tip. A tip is a gift, not an entitlement. Molly sounds like a hard-working kind person, so I would hope that people choose to give her tips without her requesting them.
@Isa, @Molly, I'm not OK with being told to tip, either. The person that the worker should be asking to be paid is ... the employer. Go unions!
Long ago when I worked at Nordstrom, we had a guy who came in as extra help at Christmastime. He did real estate the rest of the year. My strongest memory is of him telling a customer, "If you buy this, it'll really help out my paycheck." and I remember thinking that was very cringey, particularly in a store like Nordstrom. It just seemed sort of...indelicate.
I don't know if that's relevant, but hey, that's the memory that popped into my head when I read your comment!
As someone who Sparks and Instacarts, y'all may be surprised how many people want us to shop for them, drives several miles to their home, put it on their doorstep for NO tip. However, I'm not expecting a huge one every time. I simply say this, Speed costs money, how fast do you want to fly? We scrutinize the items, miles and pay for each order before making a decision.
That being said, A few dollars for the hairstylist - I only get a cheap cut. Sit down restaurants are 10% for poor service and 20% for good. Personally, I dont have any other encounters that need tipping.
I don't understand people who operate that way; I feel like when you order delivery in America, like pizza or Instacart or something, you should know that tipping is part of the process.
And if you know it's part of the process, you should take that into consideration when you place the order.
Of course, ideally the price for the delivery service would just be set, and no one would have to consider whether or not to tip or how much. But things are not ideal!
As failed former waitstaff (it is NOT an easy job), my husband and I won't go out to eat unless we can "tip like ballers." We often split meals since restaurant portions are so absurd, so we usually tip the cost of the meal. Mind, we go out to eat only a few times a year, as his low sodium diet negates most menu options. We feel strongly enough about tipping waitstaff that if we know we're going out with a family member who insists on treating but is an embarrassingly bad tipper ($5 on a $100 dining bill despite awesome waitstaff? Check), my husband and I will both make sure we have cash to sneak onto the table when we leave. It's gotten to where one of the first things I do when I know they're visiting is hit our bank for cash, just in case.
I tip my mechanics by signing my cars over to them for free when they die. They get the parts/money, I get not having to deal with disposal or the emotions therein. (I cried when saying goodbye to my first car. Bless T. the Mechanic for being a gentleman about it!)
In general, we naturally avoid services that require tipping, as it often outpaces what we can afford to give. I've cut my own hair for years, my husband shaves his head, and we're thankfully rural enough now that a non-restaurant tip can be dropping by cookies or cold drinks during the armpit of July.
@N, I love "tip like ballers"!
My boss likes those Crumble Cookies. He recently picked one up through the app and realized that they charged him an automatic $3 tip on the $4 cookie. He immediately drove back and got his $3 refunded.
I agree that tipping is out of hand here. It allows employers to underpay their staff. I’ve worked these jobs- they will tell you at the counter service jobs that the wage is $15-$20 an hour but only pay you $8 because they are counting your hypothetical tips. When I was working food service, I knew that tips were a nefarious capitalist conspiracy but I also really wanted people to tip! And I absolutely treated people better when they had tipped well in the past.
There is a coffee shop/restaurant here that doesn’t allow tips and charges a little more so that they can pay employees better wages. The crazy thing is that their prices are not actually much higher than most of the neighboring restaurants that encourage tips.
I like to talk to employees wherever I shop about how they like their jobs and I try to frequent places where they treat the employees better. Everyone is miserable at Harris Teeter. The Publix people are so happy that I wonder if they put something in those subs.
Right, that's how I look at it; the tipping puts the pressure on customers, not on the employer.
I live in NYC. my apt is very reasonable. i have lived here 32 years. came single with 2 cats. now i am married with a 12 yr old and a 15 year old in 750 sq ft. my daughter is in an arts high school she auditioned for. my son is in a middle school specializing in math and science. i am truly blessed and i believe i have to spread my good fortune around and it will come back to me. my step-mother gave all my mother's things and my father's money to charity when she passed. it hurt me a lot. so much so that i missed my father's funeral because i was in the hospital. my dad was buried at west point.
i am a huge tipper and always have been. i live comfortably now. i invested in the stock market since 1979. i hold and buy. i sell when i need extra money. there is always something to sell. when i retired nine years ago i asked the firm for a lunp some. they said they didn't do that. i said ok. a month later they offered me a lump some and i took it. i had been in the same job in the same company for 35 yyears.
i would love to move to a larger apt especially an extra bathroom. but i am grateful to be in my apt and the other day my son said to me that he really likes our apt. it is very homey.
Hi.
Like many here I don't go to many places or use services that require tipping.
When I do (rarely) I'm generous.
It's a tough world out there.
I tip about 33% for hair cuts for my kids - it takes skill to cut hair and I want to make up for the covid years. I do use coupons for the cuts though!
I always leave $5-$10 for the housekeeper at a hotel. I was a maid for one summer; it was always nice to get that extra cash - even 50 cents - to get a cold soda on a hot day. I try to tip enough that they could get a nice drink or a small meal. I try to leave the room neat too.
I'll tip in cash at ice cream places. Not much - maybe $1 or $2 - depending how much we're getting. But I found that at one place, the owner keeps the digital tips and the workers get the cash. So cash it is! (The owner is a great buy and works the counter too, so I figure it's his way of balancing out the tips. But I'm still a little uncertain about the ethics of it.)
I've tipped tow truck guys the times we've needed a tow or tire change.
Daycare, I would give a gift card at Christmas - I paid generously for her services so it wasn't much - maybe $20?
I tend to avoid tipping situations, as I want to be generous but can't afford it. And I do only cash tips when I do tip.
Tipping is according to the service provided- no pre tipping (?!) and no tipping when there was no service/ poor service.
A living wage should be given irrespective of anything.
"I just read that DoorDash was going to rate the people that use their app by how well they tip. This is to help drivers determine if they want to make that run."- this is atrocious!!!
My mother used to go to a hair salon in which they did amazingly gorgeous work. Every operator, including Mom's longtime beautician and friend Lucy, had a sign on their mirror. It said something to the effect of "Please do not tip us. We do not accept tips. We are professionals. Tipping would insult us, as it is for amateur workers."
I thought about that Monday, when I went to a Great Clips place. The operator rushed through my haircut. I had a coupon card, having paid for several haircuts in advance. Yet, the machine that takes your card payments wanted me to tip her five dollars. It had buttons for $5, $10, $15 or "custom amount." I thought of Lucy and her salon colleagues, who would never dream of asking for a tip. They charged a bit more for their services, but the difference between their work and Great Clips was like night and day.
@Fru-gal Lisa, that machine with its tipping options would have frosted my shorts for sure. Your mom's longtime salon was very classy.
I'm incredibly frustrated by the tipping culture change in the US, and enjoy it so much when I travel & it's not a thing to worry about. I try to follow your general guideline, Kristin. I do take Uber (particularly for work travel) & always tip. Interestingly, for several years after Uber launched, there was no way to add a tip, it was factored into your route, which honestly, I preferred.A few years back, it became a thing.
We prefer to pick up pizza vs pay for delivery, and we do use a meal delivery service (e.g. Door Dash) a few times per year. We tip, because as you said, it's expected. We can reduce our usage of those optional services.
I have a nephew who works at a resort, and leads activities (think: bike rides, horse back riding, archery, etc), tipping is also customary there. I took a workout class at a hotel recently, and everyone came prepared to tip, except me. It blew my mind. The workout classes had a fee you paid, and/or were included in the cost of the hotel. Why would you also need to tip? I didn't tip the front desk staff?
I'm a photographer and definitely do my best to charge enough to make my time, talent, and efforts worth it on top of expenses. I do turn on the tip option on my invoices but tips are NEVER expected. They can be a really nice bonus for my family but are never an expectation. I agree tip culture is over the top and I'd be fine if it disappeared even for me. But people ask to tip so I leave the feature on.
This is a tough subject!
I hate the tipping culture. Yes, yes, I know the prices would go up if the tip was built into the price. I'm already paying the higher prices by tipping, anyway.
I've always read that one doesn't tip the owner of a business, which includes hairdressers. A young woman cuts my hair about 5 times a year, but she isn't an owner, so I tip her. Workers around here who come to the house are not tipped; I think they would be a bit shocked if one did.
One of my kids worked at Publix in college, and she got decent pay and benefits even as a part-time employee, so she was fine with tips being forbidden. Publix employees are indeed most often cheerful and helpful - it's in the whole atmosphere and in the business model.
My granddaughter works at a pizzeria where customers get their own drinks and utensils, and they have the "turn the screen and tip" thing, which I dislike because it puts one on the spot. However, the employees there bring your food to the table, bring extra napkins, ask if you want a refill and clean the table when you leave. Plus, that friendly brown-eyed girl who just took your order is then going to go to the back and cook it, plate it and bring it to you with a smile, so give her a tip please :). Although I still prefer that her pay made tips unnecessary.
Former food service experience (1990s) I was waitress/bar tender/cook/delivery driver for restaurant/bar & pizza restaurant & then (2010-2011) was barista/cook/waitress for coffee shop. I lived on tips (back then) & always had same consistent friendly service. Sometime good tips, other times not. The only time it really bothered me when it was no tip & really big & difficult table.
I tip but not always. Sit down in restaurant where server takes order & brings food & clears table--yes. Currently is expected 15-20% minimum, but I tip according to service sometimes below 10% or nothing if really bad.
We eat Subway & I do tip sandwich maker (we usually get 3 subs & extra pickles on side) its only $1 but they do deal well with making my food in consistent with my food allergies.
Food Take out/delivery---No, unless bad weather & I don'twant to get out then yes but not large amount. Delivery drivers get paid certain amount extra per delivery.
Restaurant have to report credit card tips (only--can't prove cash tips) to IRS. When I was management & closing server I had to add up each server credit card amounts from register. Each server had to initial credit card receipts that they processed for themself & name for other servers. It was a secure way of tracking tip amounts. I do not know if this is common in other restaurants. The ones I worked in (small town) we used this process & took this idea with us to the next restaurant.
I have zero experience with other delivery services, but will say that if I lived in complex on upper floor(s) & driver had to take multiple bags upstairs then I think that is above normal circumstances & should be tipped. I completely disagree with apps/companies rating clients based on tipping. If I pay for this service (it is NOT FREE even if got for good price/sale) & it is their job to delivery. Some people need this service & can not afford extra expenses/tipping.
I know delivery driver that informed me that they take multiple (grocery/food) deliveries at same time. They also make extra effort to ensure no damage & friendly. Sometimes get tip, sometimes nothing but same service which it should be.
Haircut we tip, but only $2/small gift at holiday. But we only get haircut at Cosmetology school rarely (I usually do at home).
As far as other services I don't tip because it is their job & I am paying for that service.
I do gift my service workers (mail person, newspaper, garbage, groomer, sitter (earlier years)) at holidays a small gift of thanks for their service. When we have many packages being delivered (November/December) we put outside a drink basket & snack basket with sign to please take some to help get through (long) day(s). And thank you for deliveries. It was much appreciated. Not a lot financially but something I choose to do.
I thought the definition for tip was a gratuity for good service. Therefore, I choose to participate accordingly.
@Linda M, excellent explanation and participation choice.
You wrote: "I don’t think CPAs are tipped when they do a really good job."
I assure you we are not tipped! This is my logic all the time. You don't tip your tax accountant - why do I tip you when I know you are making at least minimum wage (fast food places)? I get that wait staff are paid a lower hourly wage and use tips to get to a better wage, and we tip, and tip generously.
(Yes I am a CPA. I do feel qualified to talk about the lack of tipping for our profession - LOL!)
Thank you all for your input! I realize for many in the service sector, tips are an important part of their compensation. I do believe in tipping for good service.
However, I do have a problem with pre-payment of tips as a guarantee for service, added service charges, and faceless requests.
As costs increase, I confess that I have felt less generous. For example, my hairstylist had increased his prices by 40% since 2020. I am sure he has had an increase in his expenses and also has been impacted by inflation. My $60 haircut ($50 with 20% tip) is now $84. Ouch! Our income has not increased by 40%. So what do I do? Go less often and look unkempt? Find a new stylist after 30 years? Or tip a little less? I just don’t know.
We rarely eat dinner out except when traveling. I never do delivery. However, I will stop on occasion for coffee when out and about. I may also have breakfast or lunch out with a friend. I always tip the barista $2 for my latte. I always tip the waiter or waitress at least 20%.
However, there are a few places that automatically add 18% - 22% on for gratuity now. They actually request that you add more when signing the check. Many times the service is subpar. There are also times when I walk into a place such as Panera and have absolutely no interaction with another human. No one says hello. No one takes my order. My food is placed on a counter by who knows who. At this point, I’m not sure who I’m supposed to be tipping.
At this point, I will continue to tip as I did pre-covid. You all have given me the courage to do so. Happy Thanksgiving!!
Bee, thanks for an excellent question! Good discussion. I'd like to add the situation with "rounding up" purchases to benefit a good cause (like at Goodwill or at local stores for a local charity). At first, I would round up generously and with enthusiasm, but now I just say "not today, thank you." All of the rounding up and additional tipping started making a difference in my budget and making me cranky because I wasn't being intentional with my giving, so I stopped. I already help Goodwill with both my donations and purchases so I don't feel guilty there. And if it's a local charity that I wasn't already aware of, I do my research to see if I want to support their mission with a separate donation.
@MB in MN,
When retail establishments do this, I wonder if the money is actually getting to the beneficiary. How are businesses held accountable for taking and distributing others charitable donations? I don’t know, but I have wondered.
I want to share a story that my daughter shared with me. She and her friends went to a nice sit-down restaurant. They were either late teens early 20's. There waitress already assumed they were going to be a problem group. She did less than minimal service. My daughter was raised to respect wait staff and tip every time. (For sit-down dining). There was a bus girl that actually helped to get refills, etc. my daughter was so mad about the situation she wanted to place a penny on the table to show that it was unacceptable. She didn't have one on her. She also wanted to make sure that the girl that actually helped them was compensated. So they asked about how the tips work and the gal said that the buses don't get tips it always just goes to the wait staff. So, my daughter collected the tip for the busser and snuck it to her and told her not to tell anybody that she got it because she was the one that deserved the tip. My daughter and I will do stuff like that. We want the people that actually do the service to get the tip.
I have not read all the comments but I will not tip for kiosk orders anymore. An order I did at a restaurant in Ohio, Order on kiosk, pay on kiosk. The person at the counter did nothing to acknowledge I was there and merely placed my order on the counter. I understand those making my food had to work. I did tip there but won’t again.
I tip those I have a relationship with, hair dresser and dog groomer. I tip at most restaurants based on service.
Once in Beckly WV we hit the ice cream shop with a large ice cream order. 2 younger gals working who had awesome attitudes. We tipped them both for more than our order total. They deserved it.
I despise having to tip on a cup of black coffee.
Now we are getting a lot of companies who charge more for you to pay by credit card. It’s never ending.
I tip table service a minimum of 20% (I worked as a waitress in high school, college, and grad school, so I am extra sensitive to their plight ☺️)
I tend not to tip counter workers, but I do if I’m there on a holiday, etc.
On Thanksgiving I’m picking up food from Boston Market for an elderly shut- in friend, and you better believe if they have a tip jar I’m leaving them someting nice, as they are working on a holiday)
If I’m in a situation where I have to valet park a car (I always park my car myself, whenever possible) I’ll tip $2
Same with a cost check, when it’s not really possible or practical to carry my coat around, I’ll tip $2
Rarely to we get food delivered, but I will tip generously (my teen delivers pizza, and I know it can be a hectic job)
I tip my hairdresser $10 (for a $70 haircut , twice a year)
I tip my mail carrier and weekend newspaper delivery person $25 at the holidays
Appliance delivery people I tip about $10-20 a person (we renovated our kitchen last year and had 3 appliances delivered simultaneously, so both guys got $20, a drink, and snacks )
I'm in the UK were it is usually up to you if you tipped or not but I assumed it was more or less compulsory in the US. We hear stories of British people being followed in the street if they did not leave a tip in The US! but things like delivered food often has a tip included .
@Polly, that is outrageous! There is a restaurant in the big town about 40 miles from here where the waiter followed the customer out to the parking lot to demand a better tip. That was about 30 or 40 years ago. To this day I know people who will not patronize that fancy restaurant because of that true story. (I don't patronize it because it is far away and because it is overpriced.)
Honestly, for me it isn't so much the tipping itself, it's the *expectation* of tipping.
When we receive good service in a restaurant, usually meaning that not only was the waitstaff prompt with service, they were pleasant - maybe even chatted for a moment, or gave a good menu recommendation, checked back with us, etc., we always tip very well (hubby usually tips a bit more than I would, but it's all good). If however, it's the same restaurant, the service has been poor, the waitstaff surly, we felt like it was an "imposition" to serve us, that tip plummets, if we leave a tip at all. At self-service restaurants such as Panera, I never tip. Of course, I will say that regardless of the living wage argument, we live in California where the minimum wage is $15.50 an hour. That's a pretty decent minimum wage. I don't know about a 'living wage' - I suppose it depends on your circumstances and how you live.
I hate, and will avoid at all costs, restaurants who add a tip on your behalf. To me, that's like stealing.
I do tip on haircuts and pedicures; though how much I tip is dependent on how the service was.
@Randa, in California, the minimum wage for fast food workers was just raised to $20 an hour. I never got anywhere near that when I was a medical assistant.
Clearly a hot-button issue! And I agree. I live in a small town so often know those serving me a latte or ringing up my takeout. Since I am part owner of a business, i am sure there’s an assumption I have plenty of money. And we do have enough. But my husband retired last year which reduced our income by a third, and with the cost of groceries, and fuel and gas going up and up and up, we don’t have the discretionary cash we used to. So I just rarely go out anymore and ordering for delivery is not possible where we live so don’t have to worry about that.
I am also completely over the “rate this” culture. I bought it, i ate it, I used it, etc. I am not going to rate everything I buy. Says the cranky old crone!
@Jenn, I agree with you on the "rate this" racket, especially when it comes to the asinine questionnaires on health care providers. I refuse to answer those, whether by phone, online, or email. If I didn't like my healthcare provider I WOULDN'T USE THEM! I guess it stems from being a hospital based nurse most of my life. Whether or not their food tray was hot had NOTHING to do with whether or not I checked their arm band before giving them meds. did a head-to-toe assessment each shift, woke the doctor up to get an order he should have given and didn't, etc. Yet that was how the hospital decided whether we got performance raises.
Ok, rant over. lol
My husband & I use tipping as a way to bless others. We have certain minimums that we tip. I usually tip $5 under $20 and $10 under $30. We always tip at least 20% but have tipped as high as 30%. We look at it as a way to turn someone's day around. Our daughter was a waitress at a popular steak house and often lost money because of tip share (which is based on table sales not actual tips). Most people who work in service industries aren't well paid anyway so why not be generous if you have the ability?
I don't understand the stores that are selling you goods, not services, asking for a tip when you pay. I definitely do not tip in those situations. For example, I went to a store that sells plants and when I paid there was an option to tip. This doesn't make sense to me but somehow I still feel somewhat guilty for not tipping. Ha. I also feel quite annoyed.
@Tammy, false guilt. You did nothing wrong. They sold you something, you paid for it, transaction complete. I would feel very annoyed too!
I live in a senior's complex where tipping is not allowed. Once a year, however, they ask us to contribute to an appreciation fund to be distributed among employees who would normally be tipped (housekeeping, restaurant staff, etc.). My complaint with this is it all hits at Christmas time when budgets are hard to keep anyway plus it is distributed based on length of service. This feels to me like an employee retention plan and I think the company should pay that part rather than the residents. Plus, the request comes with guidelines as to how much we should "donate" and it is a lot! That same amount, spread over a year would not feel so cumbersome. What would you do in my situation?
@Linda Sand, I think I might refuse to partipate. If management wants to pay end of year bonuses, THEY should foot the bill.
I hate the tipping culture, but even more : I hate the tipping expectation nowadays. I feel like EVERYONE is expecting a tip for.... doing their job??
I tip at sit down restaurants. That's it.
This is because : I don't go to hairdressers, I don't get food delivered to my door, etc.
If I do the work (ex : ordering food at a counter), I don't tip. And I don't feel guilty one bit about it.
No one tips me for taking care of patients with dementia all day long. Why? Because it`s my job. Same for them.
I don't even tip the massage therapist because if you are charging me 150$/hour and would like a tip? Well, include it in the price. All other health care providers are not given tips on top of the (high) price they charge, why should the massage therapist be given one?
Wow, I realize I'm more upset than I should be about the topic, lol!
I'm late to this debate, but if you can't afford a tip now and then, or if you're frugal to the point of not tipping, you really can't afford the service. Tipping, in many instances, is entirely appropriate and a reward for work well done. What I hate is the tip screen on the checkout computer -- people don't carry cash the way they used to, so the service staff weren't getting anything. My guideline is whether or not the person providing the service is self-employed or working for a larger organization. My (self-employed) hair dresser gets what she tells me she's charging me, at Christmas she's getting a Christmas present. When I'm served a nice dinner by an efficient and agreeable person I feel they deserve something for their good service, not because they earn a pittance, but because they gave me good service. At least we're not European yet, when you're charged an automatic gratuity of 18%, which probably never gets to the waiters or the busboys. In Greece we used to leave a little money under the water glass for the waiter and a little money under your napkin for the busboy. My used-to-be regular Chinese buffet is now charging a 15% "gratuity" AND adding 4% if you use a credit or debit card.
@Jean, This may seem a bit off topic because it's not about tipping, but credit card surcharges. I used to work for a friend who owned a custom drapery business. The two main credit card companies charged her 3 or 4% on every purchase; the one that you "weren't supposed to leave home without" charged her about double that amount. This seriously eats into the profits of a small business owner. Paying with cash is one way to help small businesses.
It is such a struggle! I tipped a lot during the pandemic because I really did appreciate people putting themselves in a risky situation so I could pick up a cheeseburger but it is so out of control now. I don't know the answer.
Some of my struggles:
What do I tip the pizza delivery person when a delivery fee is already added to my order - it varies from restaurant to restaurant whether or how much of that goes to the delivery person?
I used to stuff a couple bucks in the tip jar on a pick-up order of food as a gesture of good will, but I find many businesses expect the same level of tipping for pick up as they do for dine-in now, which is crazy.
What do I say to the proprietor of a restaurant I like where you order at the counter and get your own drink, but they bring your food and bus your table (but don't check on you during the meal like the traditional server). I pay at the counter when I order there, and they have the different levels of tips pre-programmed into the system (starting at 18%) and say, will you tip, please? With no easy way to skip it or leave a custom tip.
Another restaurant I go to has their pre-programmed levels STARTING at 22%. What happened to 15-20%?
I actually tend to over-tip at the jobs typically employing teenagers and low-wage workers because I worked in those types of jobs all through my teens and twenties and those tips made the difference some weeks between eating ramen or quality proteins. I don't feel obligated to do this, I just do because I know every bit helps.
I've always considered a tip to be a gift. It is bad manners to ask for gifts. Or, it used to be. Who even knows what manners are any more??
I've worked as a waitress back when dinasaurs roamed the earth so I know tipping. I was paid below the minimum wage back then and made my money by tips. I was a good waitress so I made good money. I also ran my rear off to be such a good waitress.
About credit card tips for example if you go out to eat and you put the cost and the tip on the credit card the server will get their tip money at the end of the night.
I tip servers for a sit down dinner and 20% if the service is good. Not such good service then 15%.
Hairdresser 20% of the cost and a bonus at Christmas for me it's the price of the haircut.
We have used Uber and dh probably tipped 20% and we recently used a food delivery app while we were in Disney World. Again 20%.
Garbage men: $50 bucks each guy last year cause dh was feeling rich. This year it will probably be $20 each.
Newspaper guy - once a year at Christmas and usually $30 cause I only get the paper one day.
Woman who waxes my eyebrows gets 20% per visit and I give her an extra $40 plus regular tip. This year it may be down.
Mail person - Christmas time and $40 last year but it will go down this year.
We tip delivery guys who deliver something like a fridge and that's probably $20 per guy.
If we have a plumbing emergency we tip for that.
If I get a massage I tip 20% of that cost.
Do not tip people who are paid to do their job such as Starbucks, McDonalds, Dunkin Donuts, etc where you place an order and they give it to you. When I worked at McDonalds when I was 16 and walking the pet dinasaur I didn't get tipped. I just went to do a curbside pickup at Walmart and was going to tip the person who brought out the order (about $3) and she said she wasn't allowed to take tips.
Sorry it's so long winded.
We live an hour's drive from a large town (37k pop), so our circumstances are very different than most of the readers. 20% I tip my plumber (cousin), I tip my electrician (close friend), the septic tank guy (who always takes my call, not sending it to voice mail), the rural route mail carrier, the handyman, the vet who is trying to retire but keeps me on his list of clients he will work with. My hairdresser who fixes my hair after one of my friendcuts goes awry. I tip the helpers at the feed store. I tip at restaurants when I go out with friends once every month. I give 20% if the restaurant does not charge us a large (over 5) group fee, or if I know the waiter/waitress or the owner. I am in lock step with Kristen's view of too much tipping. Have I ever been tipped because I did a great job at nursing. Um, no. I do believe that being generous with people who offer a service that I cannot live without is the best way. There are too few tradesmen/women who can take all of the service calls. I want to be the one they say yes to.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl, I have never tipped a nurse, and believe me I have spent a lot of time in the hospital. On the more extended stays, I learned from one of the nurses that my husband had asked if anyone would be offended if he brought one of those Subway catering meals. No one objected and for weeks he would alternate what shift he fed that week. He did not consider it a tip, he was truly thankful for how much attention I required and they all gave with good humor.
@Blue Gate Farmgirl, When we bought hay at the local feed store, I tipped the young man who loaded it into the truck. I tip the lady who cuts my hair every 2 years (I get it cut short and let it grow out), hotel cleaning ladies, and wait staff in restaurants. We don't use many other services in which tipping is traditional. Years ago, when the sack boys loaded the groceries in the car for me, I'd give them a dollar or two. At restaurants, we typically tip 20% for good service, 25% or a little more for excellent service and 10% for poor service. Someone once told me that if you don't leave a tip that you're actually costing the server money, because the IRS will assume that they got a tip and add a per centage onto their wages. I don't know if that's true or not.
I, too, loathe the tipping culture and even more, how it's bled into other areas.
For the most part, I tip as if it's 1999, but the amount I tip restaurant waitstaff has increased. Table servers, that is. I tip those who earn the damn tipped wage but not other waitstaff, such as counter cashiers. I just steel my heart and pick "no tip" on that damn screen. I will, however, tip such staff when they do something extraordinary, such as bringing my pizza outside because I have the dog with me.
I tipped delivery people in cash rather than in the system because I wanted to be sure they got the ALL the money. So now I look like a jerk to potential deliverers. I don't like losing DoorDash will be much of a loss, though; I don't much like delivery - it's fresher if you get it yourself - and the new systems seem to take three times as much work as they're worth.
"How much do you tip the person that cuts your hair? The Barista? The complimentary valet? The Uber driver? The person who provides curbside service? Instacart? "
Each of these has a different answer, not just by service, but also by the cost of the service and where you live. Hotel porters in NYC earn 5x what those in Pierre, ND.
@WilliamB, Sometimes valet for a parking lot isn't paid at all and they only get tips. I told that to a family member who is handicapped and uses that service at a medical center. It had never occurred to her to tip or that they might not be paid otherwise. I don't know what's expected. We tend to give them $5 when they park the car and $5 when they bring it back to us. There have been occasions when we directly tipped the bus boy in a restaurant separately because we were leaving a messy table or they'd been helpful.
I tip in restaurants because for a brief nightmarish time I was a waitress and I remember how my legs ached and how many times I was told by men that I needed to smile. My boss forbid me to ever again tell one of those men that I only smile for handsome men. And if the waitress (virtually always women in my experience, which has seldom included eating at high-class places) is old I tip as much as I can afford that day because if you are 60 plus and a waitress at a neighborhood restaurant, it is a good bet your life is hard. One time on a trip the waitress was really elderly and she was terrible at remembering anything like that we wanted forks, and finally she said it was her first day. I left a $100 tip and put it in her hand so no one else got it, because I could afford to and I could not stand the idea of someone's grandma needing a job that much. I do carry cash so I can give it directly to the person instead of having it show up on the credit card because who knows if the waitress will ever see it. If no waitress is involved in bringing my food, I don't tip.
Aww. I love what you did for that elderly first-day waitress. You are a queen.
Wow! Great conversation. Thank you.
My son worked at a busy restaurant as a cook. One day he came home quite tickled that somebody sent a tip back to the busy kitchen staff because the food was so good. It was appreciated. That being said, I've never tipped kitchen staff.
Wow, so many thought provoking comments....I want to add my dismay at "facility fees" being tacked on to surgical procedures, and sometimes to doctor's office visits. I just had a total knee replacement, and if they charge an additional "facilities fee", this helps cover the cost of supplies, general upkeep of the building, etc. I find this annoying at best; all of that should come out of the fees they charge already. (I work in health care in the US, so am very familiar with the financial issues involved). You'd best believe I will be examining my bill with a fine tooth comb, as I provided my own walker and "ice machine" (knee wrap cold water circulator machine). I also bought my own protein shakes leading up to the surgery, though the hospital supplies them to two other surgery locations in the same hospital system for "free". ??
Try to be aware of where the money actually goes. We have a locally owned pizza/sub shop and there's a tip jar on the counter. I found out when my daughter started working there that the owner keeps all the money. I'm sure I'm not the only one that thought I was helping out the employees.
@Marg, I used to work in the kitchen at a tea room. The owner's husband was something of a miser and one of the waitresses told me that he'd take the cash tips off of the tables. So, if you know of a situation like that, it's best to give it directly to the server.
I've seen quite a few news article in recent yrs on how out of control tipping has become. I was raised not to tip at all...not at all anywhere....because we were just so poor. (I lived for a time with no indoor plumbing or Christmas gifts as a child) But we never used a service where a tip was expected. So tipping has always been hard for me to do. There's that fear of not having enough so I have to be cautious about being stingy.
But I do tip for sit down meals, more if the server goes out of their way or we ask for special changes in a meal. I tip the dog groomer as well...partly because my dog can't tell me if she's being mistreated & I want her to be treated well & partly because I know they work very hard. I only occasionally tipped my hairdresser (I've been cutting my own hair since covid) & that's because my hairdresser could have me in & out in 20 minutes because my hair was so simple & easy. The only fast food place I tip is Sonic.
I don't tip delivery driver's except for those who deliver my grocery orders. Some delivery drivers have told me they aren't allowed to accept tips.
But the cost of the tip has to be considered in the budget. The tip for grocery deliver has to come out of my grocery budget. So sometimes I do grocery pick up instead because they aren't allowed to accept tips.
All of that to say....almost everywhere you pay with a card now has a prompt for tipping. I always decline. I hate that it makes me feel bad sometimes but I consider it a computer program asking me to tip....not a person. Drive through prompts for tips are unrealistic.
Gosh I'm Australian and I HATE being in the US, but, rightly or wrongly, justify my lack of tipping by my culture (Australias)! We ONLY tip when we feel it necessary - such as great restaurant service. It can be awkward when they stand nearby as you use the handheld machine... sort of guilts you a bit. That being said, we ate in for lunch today, ordered via QR code, and it automated to 10% tip - when NO ONE had taken my order - and before they delivered food (at different times, for two people, which... isn't making me think 'wow, great service, I'll tip'. I did not tip)
But I would NEVER tip for a hair cut - my last cut and colour (with foils) was over $300! And they offer a coffee or water - lovely, but totally not paying extra for this.
Back to the US, if I'm in California, I also wonder about tipping if they've legislated higher salaries/wages for staff. Why would I still tip?
I'm saddened to see someone in the comments argue against a living wage - cause 16 year olds don't need it - assuming they may not want/need money, or want to move out of home, or save, or buy a vehicle. Or a 40yo who hasn't had children shouldn't earn a wage to cover their housing/food?! Sad
I am glad I don't live in America, but this "add a tip" option is making it's way into Ireland too.
I tip 10% ONLY to waiters, taxi drivers and hairdressers. If they were particularly good or bad I might go above or below the 10%.
I do not tip anyone else.
I do not tip for food I have to queue up for and order at the till, whether it is brought to the table or not. I only tip for actual table service where they come to the table to take your order
I give 5% of my net income to charity and I live in a country that has high taxes and high social welfare. I feel like I'm doing my bit.
After a recent long holiday in the US, I have to say that tipping is annoying but it sure does keep one’s math skills sharp!
In my job as a massage therapist I get tips. Of course not everyone tips and although it could have been the service, I also think some people consider massage health care and wouldn’t tip in that situation. I also know that some people simply can’t afford it or just didn’t consider it at all. I look at my tips as an average over the week.
I am so grateful for my tips and I love leaving work with cash each day! We are cashed out daily and it’s one of the reasons I took this particular job.
To answer one question, does 100% of the tip go to the employee. I would say yes, most of the time. If the person you are tipping owns the business then they would pay the 3% credit card fee. Otherwise the business usually plays all of the credit card fees. I also imagine some apps charge the user/driver a fee on their tips.
And I think that would be another great topic. My CPA and carpet cleaner have added a 3-5% fee for using a credit card. I see this as a cost of doing business and I don’t like this practice at all. Most people don’t carry cash or checks and it feels like a last second price hike!
I like it when business charge a certain price, but then give you a discount if you pay in cash. It's a small, mostly semantic difference, but it feels better, and I have to imagine it would land better with a lot of customers!
Also my husband is an electrician and I can say that he would never expect a tip! I wouldn’t tip a trades person or someone delivering propane, the appliance repair or delivery company. People working in the trades traditionally make higher wages.
However I do know that a sandwich is always appreciated because my husband always mentions it if a customer offers any kind of food or drinks.
One of my favorite massage clients ever tipped me in baked goods. She loved to bake and had a treat for me every week.
I never tipped my mail carrier before we moved here, because I usually lived in big cities and never knew who they were. My current small town, I know my mail carrier AND his substitute, so I leave them $25 Visa gift cards at Christmas, and during the year might leave snacks or a couple packets of premium hot chocolate mix or even just a note now and then through the year. I leave the same gift cards for the two trash collectors and the recyclables collector at Christmas only, because I don't know who they are, but they are reliable and never miss a pickup and I appreciate them.
Furniture or appliance delivery people? Nope. I pay a fee for that, and I assume they get paid for it. Plumbers, electricians, HVAC repairman? Nope, I feel they are professionals and get paid well, based on the bills I get. Lawn guy and his crew? No, but I will offer them cold drinks in the summer time or store-bought cookies or snacks. Housekeepers at hotels? I leave $5/day, because if we stay several nights, we may have more than one housekeeper while we're there. I usually leave a little note with "Thanks" on it, so they know it's for them. One housekeeper was so honest, she assumed we'd just left the money out and never touched it!
I pay my dog groomer a 20% tip each time, as I do my hairdresser, but will give extra based on the circumstances. (Ex: my dog a cockapoo. had to go 12 weeks between grooms due to surgery, and she was extra furry and smelly. I tipped 30% that day!) At Christmas, I give my hairdresser a gift or small gift basket.
We went out to a Golden Corral today for Thanksgiving, and it's a buffet, so all our "server" has to do is pick up our dirty dishes and ask if we have questions or need anything. I slid $5 under my plate when we left. That's the first time we've eaten out in 2 years, so I don't know if it was enough. Usually we do 20% for a sit-down restaurant meal, with more if the server was super nice or helpful. I see no point in tipping some place like Panera's -- I don't tip at a drive-through, and they help me more than a place where I pick up my own food, drink, and utensils, even if I do sit inside.
Having worked as a nurse, I obviously refused any monetary "gifts". However, I think I can say that for most staff, food was always greatly appreciated, as many shifts we would go hours without having time to sit down and eat at all. Cookies, banana bread, chocolates, extra tomatoes from your garden--we'll eat anything. BIG kudos to the giver who remembers there is ALSO a night shift! The cafeteria in most hospitals isn't open at night, and we can't always get food delivered, so we have to pack our own lunches. Whenever my husband has been in the hospital or rehab care, I ALWAYS made sure to cover all shifts when bringing goodies.
I tip at sit down restaurants,my hair stylist and Uber. I now avoid going to places like Panera or coffee shops because of the tip expectations. If I do go I don’t tip but find that this tipping culture causes me to stay away from those places now
I tip in cash. I find it abhorrent that a) most service people don't get paid minimum wage - and minimum wage that has not kept up with COLA over the year and b) there are unscrupulous owners that do *not* give servers the entire tip. Having waited tables in the past at a small restaurant, there is no guarantee your tip income + server wages meets minimum wage per hour. The US should pay a living wage no matter what the job. We've been tipping 20% since before Covid-19, extra at holiday time.
I live in a rural area, so we don't have Instacart, DoorDash, Uber, etc. I'm disinclined to use those services if they come this way because it sounds like the workers have high expectations for tipping.
My family doesn't make enough money to offset the financial issues of the gig economy.
Honestly, I'm just up to here with ethical decision fatigue about it all. My answer is to simply not play this game and avoid businesses that pressure customers to tip.
I definitely tip full service restaurants, hairdressers, Uber Eats and Uber, Instacart.
If I am ordering food at a counter service restaurant, I will leave a small tip.
I mostly agree with Kristen and wouldn't have tipped in the Panera situation either.
I don't use delivery often, but when I do, I tip very well. I feel like if I get groceries, pizza, etc., delivered, there's a reason I don't want to go out. Whether that's because I'm super busy, tired, don't want to deal with traffic, or don't want to deal with a crowded store, I'm making a choice and should compensate the person who makes it possible for me to make that choice. Hiding behind the whole "it's an entry-level job, they don't need a living wage, blah blah blah" strikes me as elitist at best, and more likely as just plain stingy and says nothing good about someone as a person. A job is a job, and worthy of respect and compensation. I always wonder how many of these "entry-level jobs don't deserve decent pay" people have actually worked a hard job.
I also agree that tipping culture has gotten out of hand, and that a lot of tipping options that should have gone away post COVID, haven't. I don't, however, think the solution is to not tip anyone. If it's a place where they're being paid an hourly wage, like a fast food or ice cream place, I don't usually tip, unless they did something above and beyond. For takeout from a sit down place, I usually tip around 10% since someone had to pack it up and bring it out. For dining in a sit down restaurant, we never tip less than 20%. If we can't afford that, then we can't afford to eat out.
I don't understand the people who get outraged when an 18% gratuity is added for a large party, claiming that they would have left 20%, but now they're insulted. Leave the extra 2% you claim you were going to leave anyway and demonstrate your supposed good character.
I like going out to eat with someone when I'm first getting to know them. It's usually a quick way of determining whether or not they're someone I want to pursue a friendship with. I read a quote years ago, Someone who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter isn't a nice person." I think that applies in so many aspects of life. If someone mistreats service workers, I have no reason to believe that they're going to be a kind or generous person in any other part of their life, and that's not someone I want in my circle.
I only tip at sit down restourants and hair cut , but tip for haircut only if the job is well done. I will thing for bad reastourant service because I don't pay for defective service or product . I want all bad waiters quit, so I will not tip them anything. Good service 20 - 30 %. No tip for coffer or counter service ever.I dont care if they think I am cheap .Nobody else will get any tips from me. I will get takeout only with 0 tip, no delivery.
My mother was a young adult during the Depression and was left homeless after a major flood. She got a job as a waitress at a local Mexican restaurant in Texas. 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and 2 meals a day were included. She was paid $1 per day (adjust for inflation, that's $21.37 in 2023 dollars) plus tips, and she always said that "you didn't get many tips". For that they had to provide curb service and use an ice pick to chip off ice for drinks. She said that a big tip was .25 ($5.34 today). She walked to work, lived in a rooming house for $2.50 per week ($53.42). She was required to have a uniform, which she sewed. Every night after work, she washed it out by hand, hung it up to dry and ironed it every morning. And believe it or not, she was able to save a little money.
My mother was an amazing woman.
Last December, one of our grandsons got a job with UPS, as assistant to a delivery driver. They worked long days, and sometimes barely got lunch.
I want to say a heartfelt THANK YOU to all the kind people who tipped them with food, snacks and drinks. It had never occurred to me before to leave snacks for delivery drivers but now I know how important it is. People in the Fort Worth area were very kind to him.
I'm only reading this post now and realize that it's from a week ago but would still like to comment.
In Canada, wait staff are paid at least minimum wage unlike the US where wait staff wages can be incredibly low. Tipping 15 - 20% on a sit-down meal is the expectation.
Part of the issue is that all POS systems now seem to have the tipping feature built into them so customers are being bombarded with tip requests from even the smallest purchases and self-serve options. I do not tip in situations where I order my food at a counter and pick it up or it being brought to my table is the extent of the service required. I rarely tip for take out orders I place online and pick up.
Tipping salon owners is not expected here. If the hair stylist/nail tech, etc., owns the salon I may or may not tip. It depends on how well I like how they do my service and other factors, including how long I've been going to them, if they always run late and keep me waiting for quite some time at every appointment, how high their prices are to begin with, etc. Non-owners only get part of the price paid by the customer so it makes sense to tip them but, again, how much I tip them also depends on the factors I outlined above.
Those food delivery services (Door Dash, Skip the Dishes, etc.,) are insanely expensive with all the added fees and surcharges, the menu prices being higher than the restaurant charges when ordered directly, etc., and then tipping on top. It's a pricey endeavour that I rarely use.
Tipping is (was) supposed to be for receiving excellent service. The 30 seconds that it takes a Starbucks employee to hand me a muffin is not tipping worthy, in my opinion.